


Beautiful Lies

by lokishorcrux



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Actually quite a lot of sarcasm, Agents of shield for a bit, Canon Compliant Violence, Crude jokes, F/M, Humour, Norse Mythology - Freeform, Post Avengers, Romance, Sarcasm, will cover events in thor the dark world
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-20
Updated: 2014-09-09
Packaged: 2018-01-13 04:41:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 66
Words: 242,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1213087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lokishorcrux/pseuds/lokishorcrux
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Loki escapes prison, Darcy thought her biggest problem would be putting up with the idiot. When justice follows Loki to Earth, Darcy finds herself entangled in something far worse than anything meeting Thor could have prepared her for. Set after avengers and will cover events in Thor: The Dark World. Tasertricks. Loki/Darcy. Strong Language.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Looking For A Sign

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally adding this to AO3. Any comments may refer to reviews posted on fanfic.net but I can't summon the effort needed to edit them.

"But it had to have come from Asgard." Jane said as she pulled the SUV onto the main road. Darcy's fingers tapped along to the drum beat of the song blaring through her ears from the one headphone she had in. She normally turned the volume right up to drown Jane out as they drove to work as the latter usually lamented the loss of her boyfriend, Thor or spoke of some new scientific breakthrough she'd thought of while pouring her cereal. Either way- yawn.

Today however she'd turned it down low enough so that she could tune in or out as she pleased. Her hand draped out of the open window as they drove through miles of New Mexico desert. It was eight thirty and already burning hot. The air con in the car was broken, again, so all of the windows were down to entice in the dry breeze though all it really did was create more noise that Jane felt the need to shout above.

"Puh-lease." Darcy told her, taking a sip of coffee from her travel mug. "You find one note-"

"In my shoe!" Jane interrupted. "Why would the note be in my shoe?"

The hand that had been tapping on the window moved to rub her temples. It was too early in the morning to handle Jane. It was times like these that Darcy missed Erik most. He'd always been able to handle most of Jane's obsessive fixations, the only exception being when Thor had visited. Darcy however had about 2% of the things she said registered by Jane and of those a further 2% were actually listened to.

"You're constantly making notes, Jane." Darcy sighed. "And they turn up everywhere. Remember the time you set the toaster on fire?"

Jane's face flushed slightly pink as she drove but she remained determined. "It wasn't my handwriting. I know that handwriting."

"What because he scribbled on your notebook? Jane, he was hardly writing essays while he crashed here." Darcy raised her eyebrow at her friend. As usual Jane remained oblivious to the hinted suggestion behind Darcy's words. She took another sip of coffee, silently lamenting the fact that no one seemed to share her dirty mind.

"I know that handwriting." Jane repeated.

"Jesus Jane, slow down." Darcy told her, having just seen the speedometer on the car. It was hard to tell on the long straight roads how fast they were going but she was certain Jane's old car hadn't driven this fast since...well ever.

"We have to get to SHIELD." She said, pressing her lips together in determination and accelerating.

"I am not going to die over some stupid note!" Darcy shouted back.

"You haven't even seen it!" Jane replied, reaching into the pocket of her jeans and pulling out a crumpled piece of parchment coloured paper.

"For fuck's sake," Darcy shrieked. "If you're going this fast at least keep both hands on the wheel!"

"Just take the note." Jane snapped. Darcy glared at her as she snatched the note from her hands, relief rushing through her as she saw Jane put her other hand back on the wheel.

Darcy examined it briefly. It was about the same size as a post-it note but three times as thick, like the kind of posh paper that ought only be reserved for cursive writing detailing a meeting with the Queen of England.

One word was printed on it in a bold hand. "AFTER" Darcy read. "Wow, yep definitely from Thor, definitely listing his imminent return yes let us run off to SHIELD whilst breaking as many traffic laws as we can."

Jane rolled her eyes. "Either way it's clearly not one of my notes."

Darcy shrugged. She agreed but wasn't going to tell Jane that.

"What does it mean though?" Jane continued. Darcy turned the volume up on her iPod. She was used to Jane using her presence as an excuse to talk to herself. "I mean 'after' what? Is something..."

At maximum volume, Darcy's iPod had finally succeeded in drowning Jane out. She finished the rest of her coffee and put the thermos in the cup holder, waiting for the caffeine buzz to set in. She was very much the antithesis of a morning person, her usual chirpy personality completely non-existent until at least eleven in the morning.

By the time the song finished Jane was pulling the car into the derelict multi-storey car park that served as one of the entrances to SHIELD's New Mexico base. The barrier rose for them and they followed the sloping base deeper into the compound. Inside the air was stale but just as hot.

Her ipod turned itself off as it always did when they entered, the only evidence Darcy had of the security measures in the car park. She'd always wondered what would happen if she tried entering in a different car but wasn't foolish enough to try.

"So you're just going to go marching into Fury's office and demand to see him over a note?" Darcy asked. They were a few floors down now. A wall of the empty concrete room sank into the floor to reveal the actual car park behind, in all of its metal and white concrete glory.

"Yep." Jane said resolutely.

Darcy grinned. "Can I watch?" She could only imagine the look on Fury's face if that happened.

Jane didn't reply as she parked the car at the other end of the car park in her designated space. She was, unfortunately, far from a high position in SHIELD. As her assistant, Darcy was worth even less. Heck she didn't even get her own space. Not that she had a car but she felt she should have a space on principle.  
She slid out of the car and closed the door behind her, the sound of the door slamming echoing in the large room. It was more like how she imagined the aircraft holder would look, not that she'd ever been allowed access to that part of SHIELD. She tugged on the sleeves of her purple jumper so that they covered her hands. It was September and therefore boiling in New Mexico but SHIELD somehow always managed to overdo the air-conditioning. Perhaps they felt that keeping the place colder than the arctic would make it more space-agey.

"We can't just ignore it." Jane said as they walked back across the room to the entrance to the main building. Somehow Darcy doubted she was talking about the heating.

"It's a piece of paper that makes no sense." Darcy told her. "Maybe it's there from Saturday. You'd be surprised the sorts of things people give you instead of numbers. I once gave out the entire lyrics to Hakuna Matata in single letter notes."

She'd finally managed to drag Jane to Santa Fe for a night out. She'd gone practically insane for the first year of Thor's absence with trying to find him. SHIELD had given her a lab so that she didn't have to work out of her living room so she'd decided to move into the lab instead. It was two months before Darcy could convince her that showering in the bathroom sinks was not aiding her research. Getting her to a bar had been practically impossible.

"I didn't wear my trainers on Saturday." Jane said. The classier job had done nothing to her wardrobe, she still dressed in her usual trainers, jeans and flannel shirt ensemble. That was one of the good things about SHIELD. No dress code unless you were one of the agents or guards. Who cared if the scientists dressed like bums as long as they kept doing the work?

The doors to the corridor full of lifts which would take them down to the labs was the same colour as the walls. The only thing that marked it as a door was the rectangular outline which looked like a crack in the wall. More high tech stuff opened it. Darcy thought it was overkill but it did make the job seem a bit more exciting.

Only this time there was something else at the door.

"Ohmygod." Darcy said stopping. Jane, who had again been questioning the metaphorical resonances of the mysterious note, noticed Darcy stop and turned to look at what she was staring at.

Her eyes widened in shock and she ran towards it, Darcy being snapped back to her senses following just a few steps behind.

A body was lying in front of the doors. He wasn't one of the guards, he wasn't wearing the uniform, which begged the question of how he had got there. The two women crouched down by him. He was tall and swathed in black leather and dark green mesh with countless buckles and straps. His skin was so pale that Darcy felt sure he must be dead, though perhaps, she thought, it only seemed that way in comparison to the mane of inky black hair.

He was handsome, gorgeous, in fact with his strong jaw line, high cheekbones and otherwise carved looking features. However, his face and hands, the only parts of him not draped in leather, were covered in bruises and deep cuts that were still seeping blood. One hideous gash around his left eye made Darcy feel as though she would be sick.

Jane was still, staring at the body in shock. Summoning her courage, Darcy gingerly picked up his wrist and turned it over in her hand, unwilling to cause anymore damage to the injuries.

"He's still warm." She said. She pressed her fingers to a thin blue vein on his wrist and held her breath for what felt like an eternity before she felt a faint but discernible heart beat pulse through. "That's a pulse." She sighed in relief, although partly because it meant she hadn't stumbled upon a corpse.  
This information seemed to spur Jane into action. She leant forwards to crouch next to Darcy, over the man.

"I need something to stem...this." She said, gesturing helplessly to the gash on his eye which was the only wound to still be bleeding heavily. "Then we can get help."

"I have some tissues in my bag." Darcy said, standing up and stepping away so that she could rummage properly for the pack of Kleenex. Her hand brushed against the plastic tissue packet and she pulled it out. Grappling for a tissue, she was halfway to handing it to Jane before she realised that it wasn't a tissue at all. It was a note similar to the one Jane had found, identical in shape, size and colour. All that was different was the word. She read it a few times.

This time she was positive she would be sick.

"Um Jane." She said weakly.

"What?" Jane snapped, looking at the man who Darcy didn't think she could look at without actually bringing up her breakfast.

"Look." Darcy said, holding the sheet out.

"No way." Jane said incredulously, jumping up and taking the sheet from Darcy. "You got one too?"

"Just read it."

Darcy watched as Jane's eyes widened in horror as she looked from the sheet to the man. "Loki?" She read.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title fromOrphans by Jack's Mannequin


	2. Keep Believing It

"Let me guess," Nick Fury drawled as he entered the room. "Y'all got a note."

Jane and Darcy who were sat behind the table of the small interrogation room shared a look of surprise. "Yeah," Jane said, turning back to Fury. "How did you know?"

He took the seat on the opposite side of the table and leant forward. "Because you ain't the only ones." He placed a piece of paper on the table and pushed it towards them. The women leant forwards to read it. The word "LOOK" was printed on it in the same handwriting. "Now," Fury said. "I don't know if he's tryin' to be funny or-"

"What do you mean?" Darcy interrupted. She still felt nauseated from earlier, the fact that she'd touched... _that_. She pushed the thought away, focusing on Fury and trying not to be angry at his usual beating around the bush.

Fury leant back in his chair. "Huh. You really don't know." He said. It was a statement, not a question and apparently Jane was just as annoyed as Darcy was.

"Of course we don't know." She snapped. "You had your cronies march us straight in here!"

As soon as they'd realised who the man was they'd summoned the guards. It was surprisingly easy to do, all they had to do was type the wrong password into the door. A SWAT team had come running. They'd all recognised him immediately which made Darcy feel even more useless and stupid. Unreasonable thoughts, she knew, seeming as she'd never actually seen as much as a picture of the god but still.

Orders had been barked and the next thing they knew they were in the interrogation room awaiting the arrival of Fury.

Fury grinned. "Right." He said. Darcy and Jane gave him identical looks of hate which just made him chuckle slightly. "It's ironic, right because it says "look" and then this shit happens. Well I guess I'm looking. And he's on the security tapes, he just appears there about five minutes before you arrive, a load of light and there he is."

"Then why didn't anyone see him?" Jane asked.

"Yeah," Darcy agreed. "It's like Big Brother in here, all the cameras."

"Well that's the mystery." Fury said. "I can see him but no one else can. All of the security guards say that he doesn't appear on camera until you grab his wrist."

Darcy's mouth gaped open a bit. "Me?"

Fury laughed. "Ain't like anyone else is going around willingly checking a mass murderer's pulse."

She felt her stomach twist and opened her mouth to protest but Fury waved her objections away.

"I know, I know. You didn't know who he was. Well given that you two are about the only ones here that weren't here for New York-"

"Hardly our fault." Jane muttered bitterly. She was still annoyed about being sent off to Norway only to arrive to no one knowing what they were doing there. Darcy supposed she ought to be annoyed too but it was hard to be too disappointed about missing the exploits of a mass murderer to spend the weekend in a ski lodge with a  _very_  attractive Norwegian SHIELD soldier.

A sudden burst of pain across her head made her gasp in shock. Her vision went black and she gripped the table, gritting her teeth against the knives stabbing her skull.

"Darcy!" Jane shouted, panicked. She felt a hand on her shoulder and all at once the pain was gone, so abruptly that Darcy wondered if she had imagined it."Oh my God are you all right?"

"Fine." Darcy gasped, trying to get her breath back. "I'm fine."

"We should get you to a doctor." Jane said.

"I'm fine." Jane told her, agitated. And she was, she felt fine, even the memory of pain was fading. "Just cramps."

Fury looked immediately uncomfortable, the effect that Darcy had desired.

"Yeah..." He said, obviously trying to change the subject. "Well it had to be the note. I found it in my coffee this morning, thought it was some joke from the canteen staff. Ah well I'm sure they'll be happier working somewhere else anyway." Fury gestured to his note. "I showed you mine."

Darcy reluctantly presented hers which she'd been gripping tightly in her hand since she found it. Jane pulled her crumpled square from her pocket. Fury took them both and aligned them with his, a deeply etched frown appearing on his face.

"No chance it could be 'AFTER LOKI, LOOK' is there?" Darcy suggested half-heartedly, knowing full well there wasn't.

"Look after Loki?" Fury growled. "Does he think we're running a motherfucking hotel?"

There was a knock on the door before it opened slightly. A young female guard poked her head in, she looked rather nervous but spoke calmly. "Um sir, there's a problem in the east wing."

"What another one?" Fury asked, annoyed and slightly disbelieving.

"It's the...well it's him, sir." She clarified. They all knew there was only one "him" that she could be talking about.

Fury stood up, pushing his chair back from the table. "Yeah yeah, I'm coming."

Darcy jumped to her feet too. "We're coming too." She announced.

Fury turned and glared at her. She didn't know what he hoped to accomplish, he ought to have known by now just how stubborn she was. "Sit back down." He told her, agitated.

"Yeah right." She said, walking round the table. Jane stood up too.

"That is an order." He growled.

She raised her eyebrows and folded her arms.

Fury rolled his eye. "Fine." He muttered and stormed out of the door.

Darcy grinned at Jane who looked at her impressed. "You've got to teach me how to do that." She murmured.

They only had to walk a short way down the corridor before they found the problem. Two guards were holding Loki up, him still unconscious and them looking like they were hoping he'd stay that way. She noticed that his hands were cuffed and supposed he scared them even as injured as he was. A scientist was standing watching them. Darcy recognised one of the guards and hoped for a moment that Loki did wake up and kill him, Dan was the biggest arsehole in SHIELD.

He was in charge of the security on level seventeen, the floor which happened to have all of the science labs on. Nothing had ever happened between them, he just liked to constantly sneer at Darcy that a monkey could do her job, that SHIELD could easily fire her and just generally undermine her importance, in short nothing Darcy didn't already know. In return Darcy had told him a computer could do his job better than he could causing him to go out of his way to make her life hell. Oh joy.

"What the hell is going on here?" Fury thundered.

"Ahh, sir." The scientist greeted. Darcy realised she was a doctor rather than just one of SHIELD's many lab workers. "I looked at his wounds like you said, well the visible ones at least. They all appear to be healing remarkably well except for the gash on his eye. Were he human he'd lose the sight in it and we'd have to deepen the gash before...well anyway I've just stitched it up for now but I recommended keeping him under observation so they were just taking him to the holding cells."

"So what's the problem?" Fury asked annoyed.

"Well," The woman said. "They can't move him."

"What do you mean they can't move him?" His voice echoed through the hall.

"Well," Dan said. "Look." He and the other guard stumbled forwards a few steps. They looked at each other shocked. Fury raised an eyebrow at them, Darcy felt jealous, she'd always wanted to be able to do that. "Well we couldn't...I guess we'll go." She had to resist a smile at Dan's embarrassment.

They dragged Loki down the corridor before stopping as though they'd hit a wall. The air around them rippled like in the heat at the exact same instant that pain flared back up in Darcy's head like her skull would split. More prepared this time she felt her fingers curl into fists until her finger nails broke the skin of her palms. And then it was gone. The guards stumbled backwards.

"What the hell was that?" Fury asked.

"We don't know, that's what happened last time." The doctor said shaking her head.

"Forget about the cell, get him in that room now." Fury told them. They opened the door and walked in with the others following. All but Darcy who was still staring at the spot where the ripples in the air had appeared.

"What?" Jane asked her as she noticed that she wasn't following. The pain was gone, all except for her hands which were stinging painfully, the cuts deeper than Darcy thought possible to make with finger nails. She didn't know what to tell her though, she wasn't quite sure she knew what was happening herself.

"Come on." Darcy said, pushing past her into the room. It was another of the smaller interrogation rooms of SHIELD, the six people only just fit comfortably inside. The back wall was a one way mirror though Darcy doubted anyone was actually on the other side. A metallic table stood in the centre with a metal chair behind it which Loki sat slumped in, his cuffed wrists connected with another chain to a bolt in the floor.

Jane was watching her from the corner of her eye but she pretended not to notice. Her arms were crossed with her hands gripping her upper arms as she watched Fury send away the doctor and guards.

"What now?" Darcy asked him, determined not to think about what had just happened.

"We wake the bastard up." Fury said, striding towards Loki and deftly slapping him across the face, the sound echoing deafeningly in the small room. "Jesus, that felt good." He said.

Darcy could barely contain a smile herself, the wounds going from pity to a source of grim satisfaction now that she knew who he was. She'd seen the news coverage of New York. She'd watched the survivors' stories and the gradually rising casualty count and the candles lit for the dead covering whole blocks and the silence in SHIELD because everyone knew at least someone who'd died. And opposite her sat the dick that had caused it all.

Of course SHIELD had covered up Loki's involvement so that they didn't have to explain that he wouldn't be facing human justice. As far as the world was concerned, it was simply the Chitauri deciding to attack.

He stirred slightly before his eyes flickered open. He looked round the room curiously before his startling green eyes landed on Fury, Jane and finally her. A slow grin unfurled across his lips, pulling his scars grotesquely and causing adrenaline to pump through Darcy's veins. That was the grin of a predator and despite the chains Darcy felt like a cornered animal.

"I wish," Fury said slowly. "That it was nice to see you again, though I have to say that I'm liking your new look."

Loki said nothing but looked down, his grin falling away into a slight smirk.

"Care to tell me how this happened? I'd like to shake the guy's hand." Fury told him.

Again he remained silent. Darcy realised her stomach was tying itself in knots in anticipation. From what she'd heard, this guy was definitely not one to keep quiet.

"If you ain't gonna answer our questions we have other ways to find out. Ways that make that look like a few scratches."

Loki looked up, the smile back on his face. "You know," He said. His voice sent shivers down Darcy's spine like shards of ice. She'd expected something like Thor's, loud and obtrusive but his was more quietly refined, the kind that snuck up on you to slit your throat rather than punching you in the face. "The last time I woke up surrounded by a group of people, they were a lot more intimidating than you."

"Yeah well," Fury replied, clearly happy that he'd replied though trying not to show it. "I can easily get your little friends back here. I'm sure you'd love another slamdown with Banner."

Loki's lip curled into a sneer that made him look, in Darcy's opinion, like some spoiled rich kid. "Why not?" He asked airily. "I'm sure the beast could do no worse than this."

"And what  _did_  cause this?" Darcy asked.

His eyes snapped to her and she had the uncomfortable impression that he saw all of her weaknesses with a single glance. "You," He sneered. "I am unacquainted with."

"And I asked  _you_  a question." She snapped back.

He laughed, a dry chuckle that seemed remarkably out of place."Very well. I believe it is referred to as 'Asgardian Justice.'" He spat. "Now who are you?"

"Darcy Lewis." She mumbled. To her surprise the grin returned from earlier and he looked from her to Jane.

"Then you," he said, his eyes boring into Jane. "Must be Jane Foster."

"That's Dr Jane Foster." Jane replied haughtily.

For some reason Darcy expected him to laugh again but instead his eyes surveyed Jane hungrily, not with lust like most men did but something a thousand times more menacing. She would normally have been pissed off over being completely disregarded for Jane, something unfortunately common, yet for once she did not envy Jane. She could happily take all the attention from the mad god.

She'd imagined Loki as a slightly smaller Thor, just as brash and fight ready. The cunning man before her was infinitely scarier. She could only imagine the kind of thoughts running through his mind.

"Yeah well now that we're all introduced," Fury growled. "Would you like to tell us how you got here?"

Loki shrugged nonchalantly, clearly enjoying making Fury angry. He picked at his fingernails distractedly.

"I could put you in a cell right now unless you answer." Fury barked. Loki raised an eyebrow at him sending another childish spur of jealousy through her, even the insane Norse god could do it?

He raised his handcuffs to Fury. "You chained me while I slept and you expect me to fear you?" He scoffed. "Your terror is written plainly in your every actions. You threaten captivity yet treat me as though I could just as easily escape. Well the latter is correct, you have no cell that I could not leave as easily as if it were an unlocked room. The question you should be asking is why I am still here."

"Well why is that?" Fury asked.

Loki's lips were pressed into a thin line but the corners were twitching, he was obviously enjoying himself. Sprawled in the metal chair as though it were a throne, that sly smile on his face, Darcy could forget the cuts, bruises and the handcuffs and see him as the villain that caused the destruction in New York. She tapped her fingers on her arms nervously.

"I told you once." Loki told him. "That an ant had no quarrel with a boot."

"Yeah I remember." Fury growled.

"Well the boot is only as powerful as the foot."

"Enough metaphorical crap." Fury snapped. "What are you doing here?"

Loki leant back in the chair smiling. "I can throw you in a cell." Fury reminded him.

Loki sprang forwards in the chair. "Director," He hissed. "We both know if you wanted me in a cell then that is where I would be so I can only assume that you can't. Why don't you tell me what is going on here and I'll fill in the blanks."

Fury folded his arms, Darcy knew he wouldn't be happy being ordered around by Loki but even he had to see that it was the only way they would get anywhere. "We got these notes." Fury said, pushing the few squares of paper across the table. "We're assuming they're from Thor."

Loki read them, his eyebrows rising ever so slightly. "He would." He said amused, the way a parent might praise a child's awful drawing.

"Then you appear looking like hell." Fury continued as though Loki hadn't spoken. "No one else can see you until you're discovered and then we physically can't move you."

Loki smirked self-deprecatingly. "Last night Thor visited me in my cell. I was still recovering from that day's...re-educating. He told me he was getting me out of there. I laughed and told him that he'd never be brave enough to defy the All-Father. I fell unconscious in the next session slightly quicker than I had the day before and woke up here. I suppose Thor's plan worked...although I would have preferred Alfheim to Midgard."

"And that's all you know?" Fury asked.

Loki gave him a condescending look. "That's all I experienced but any idiot can fill in the rest. Thor must have mustered some dark energy from somewhere or perhaps accessed the tesseract and transported me here. At the same time he sends you these notes, why I do not know. He always has been a foolish believer in hope. Of course he still doesn't trust me so he places a binding charm on me, that's why you couldn't move me because I can't move further than a certain distance from whoever is on the receiving end of this charm."

Fury looked as though Loki had just explained that he liked to cross dress.

"How do we know who has this charm?" Darcy asked, her heart beating slightly faster.

Loki nodded his head as though impressed. "The charm enables more than just a restriction of the distance I can move. Whatever physically injures this person would injure me too and vice versa, after the charm was placed obviously, they won't have all this. They probably would have experienced extreme pain when I encountered the barrier. At a guess I'd say a guard, all you have to do is find them and you can throw me in the cell with them nearby. Everyone's happy."  
Darcy's face had paled but she could think of nothing to say.

"And you'd just comply?" Fury asked sceptically.

"Or what," Loki snapped. She could hear something akin to pain in his voice. "Get attacked by your avengers or sent back to Asgard?"

Fury smirked. "Nice to know you fear something."

Loki glared at him but said nothing. Darcy found his smugness unbelievable. Would simple flattery blind him so much? Loki would never admit such a weakness, everything from New York to his barely concealed smirk told her so.  _He's manipulating you!_  She wanted to scream.

She was still too shocked to say anything though. Even if she did they wouldn't listen. She was just Darcy the stupid political science student who got lucky as Jane's assistant. And besides, she thought, she had bigger problems.

"And how do we find this person you're bound to?" Fury asked.

Loki opened his hands to show several faint crescent moons on his palms. "I suggest you look for someone with marks like these."

Darcy recalled the way her nails had broken her skin as Loki had pressed against the barrier. She opened her hands palms out, Fury and Jane looking at her with first confusion, then shock and horror.

Darcy could only think of a long string of swear words.

Loki leant forwards, one corner of his lips going up more than the other so that a lopsided smirk was plastered on his face. "Well," He said. "This just got interesting."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Fall Out Boy's Sophomore Slump or Comeback of The Year


	3. Not Easy Anymore

Jane hadn't said anything since they'd been escorted to the room half an hour ago. That in itself was unusual enough to make Darcy scared without the additional "magically bound to a psychotic god" drama.

She looked at the palms of her hands which were now sporting angry red scratches. Loki's had been little more than pale white marks, barely discernible. She supposed he was still healing just as quickly.

She felt another wave of repulsion wash over her. She was connected to... _him_. Even the thought of his name was too much to bear.

By the time they were called back in, Darcy's confusion had turned into anger. It wasn't fair for her to be tangled up in this mess. Jane had better hope her research never helped her get Thor back because Darcy was going to kill him.

Loki did not look happy when she returned. If anything she would have said he was sulking. That's when she realised that she wasn't actually scared of him.

Maybe she would have been if she'd been in New York but now he was sort of pathetic. All she felt when she looked at him was a deep seated hatred.

"Sit down." Fury growled at her and Jane. They did as they were bid though an uneasy feeling appeared in Darcy's stomach. Neither Loki nor Fury was in a good mood, surely their solution would suit one of them?

"Obviously we can't throw you in prison too." Fury said, for once cutting to the important stuff. "We've decided on house arrest. You and Dr Foster will be moved to a more secure location. You'll have an armed escort to and from work."

Darcy stared at him disbelievingly. "You want me to live with Frost Brain over here?"

Loki ignored her jibe but Fury furrowed his eyebrows. "Do you have a better idea?"

"Kill him." She said quickly. Loki raised his eyebrows in surprise but other than that didn't react.

"Darcy!" Jane scolded.

"What?!" Darcy snapped. "He'd deserve it."

She pulled her elbow and dragged her to the corner of the room. "Look at him!" She whispered. "I don't like him any more than you do but don't you think he's been punished enough?"

"Yeah?" Darcy asked, unconvinced. "Try telling that to the families of the people he murdered."

She stormed back over before Jane could try to tell her off again. "Well?" She asked Fury.

"If we do that then you die too, thanks to this little spell. Anything that harms him harms you and vice versa."

"Well anything unnatural." Loki added.

Fury's gaze snapped to him angrily. "What do you mean unnatural?"

Loki smirked, amused. "It means I'm not going to be getting her headaches or cramps." He raised his hands, grinning at her patronisingly. "I get her nail marks instead."

"You can do magic too can't you?" She asked Loki. "Can't you, I don't know, remove the spell or something?"

He looked at her lazily. "As much as I would love to remove it so that you can kill me." He sneered. "You severely misunderstand how magic is performed. The spell is so complex that any attempt to remove it would be more likely to kill us both."

"And you wouldn't try to kill us anyway?" Darcy asked sarcastically. She recalled the look he'd given Jane, a look that said mere death wouldn't be enough and almost shuddered. He'd probably kill her too just to make a clean job of it.

"I couldn't kill you without killing myself." He told her bluntly. "And you aren't worth that." He added with disgust.

Darcy gritted her teeth. "And what about Jane?" She asked.

He gave her a mocking smile that she wanted to smack off of his face. "My brother is an idiot but even he would not be as foolish as to send me to his mortal whore without taking precautions."

"Like what?" Jane asked, ignoring the insult.

Loki took a slow breath in which Darcy imagined was him cursing all mortals. "Those notes carried charms, they enabled you to see me for one. I would be unable to hurt any one of you without excruciating pain in return."

"You don't exactly seem put off by that." Darcy pointed out.

"I've become accustomed to it." He snapped. Darcy flinched in shock, she hadn't expected such an emotional response. "Though I think it would be quite difficult to kill someone whilst writhing in agony."

"You'll have round the clock surveillance. He so much as lifts a finger towards one of you we'll know." Fury added.

Darcy could think of no further protests so Fury took the opportunity to end the conversation. "Now enough protests, you don't exactly have much of a choice in this. Take the rest of the day off to get settled in."

"But-"

"Enough." Fury said so firmly that even Darcy didn't dare argue. He called the guards in. "Escort them all to house 21 and if she starts complaining you have permission to use your tasers."

Darcy did not remember much of the ride to their new home. Jane had driven and babbled nervously about how she was going to work even harder to reach Thor. Loki was being escorted in the car that Jane was following and Darcy only had time to see that their new house was big before she was being pushed and locked inside of it.

The front door led into a corridor with stairs on one side and a living room on the other which all three of them stood in awkwardly, even Loki before Darcy had mumbled that she was going to look around. Her new home consisted of a large kitchen, a home compiled of a treadmill and some weights, three bedrooms all with ensuites and a downstairs study. It was all done up ridiculously modern like a five star hotel so that she felt afraid of touching anything in case she broke it. A sudden wave of longing for their old home with its second hand furniture and windows like paper crashed over her.

She walked into one of the bedrooms with boxes piled on the floor labelled "Darcy". The slightly bigger room at the end of the hall had all of Jane's stuff in. She found this slightly unfair, she felt she ought to have the bigger room given that she was the one with the curse or whatever it was.

Her room was still large though and done up in lilacs and creams with large windows looking out onto the miles of barren expanse that surrounded the house.  
She walked up to it and twitched the blinds back as far as they would go so that she could open the window. She stuck her head out so that she could see as close to the house as possible. Beneath her were people dressed in black standing a few feet away from each other and surrounding the house.

She took a few shaky breaths in and closed the window before slumping back against it. She'd never been very good with being in confined spaces. She went for jogs most nights just because going from work to their house was spending too much time inside. She liked to go on long walks just because she could. She liked to be outside because being inside was too much like being trapped. Her hand brushed the wall behind her. Now she really was...

She rubbed her temples as though such thoughts were a headache she was trying to be rid of. She'd be fine, she told herself. She walked over to the boxes on her bed, knowing she'd have to unpack eventually and that her usual technique of just waiting until she used everything wouldn't quite cut it this time.

A creak on the floor outside made her look up to see Loki looking round the landing as though lost. Much to her chagrin, his room was opposite hers. He looked up at her, more of a glare, really, before looking away.

"Your room is that way, Sirius." She told him annoyed. He looked at her as though contemplating which highly painful way of killing her would be the most effective before skulking off and slamming his door shut.

When he was gone, she let out the breath she hadn't realised she'd held and her muscles relaxed. He may not have scared her but his presence definitely made her uncomfortable and more than a little bit nervous, as though a slip of the tongue might make him go all psycho again.

She turned back to the box which contained books. There was only one shelf in the room, above a chest of drawers in the corner. It wasn't going to be nearly enough room. Jane may have had more books than she did but it wasn't by much and hers were all sciency and thin whereas Darcy's were fiction and took up a lot more room. She sighed, of course SHIELD would forget about all the books she read. She was Darcy, the dumb one. It didn't matter that she'd gone to uni and graduated from there a year early or that she'd been one of the best students at school. She wasn't a scientist and therefore she must be stupid, right?

She rolled her eyes and threw herself onto the bed. She knew that she encouraged it, the view of her as flippant and silly. Sometimes it was easier to be superficial because it meant you didn't have to think about the big things.

And then she realised that she was doing just that now by focusing on the lack of book storage rather than the fact she was living with a murderer. She moaned and buried her face into the pillow.

"Did you call him Sirius?" Jane asked amused. She rolled over so that she was looking at an upside down Jane leaning against the door frame. She propped herself up on the bed so that Jane was the right way up before replying.

"Yeah. As in Black by the way, not the constellation."

"I know which one you meant." She said. Darcy was shocked to see how composed she was. Given how much she'd fallen apart when Thor left she would have thought living with his psychotic brother would not have been great for her stability. "I just don't quite understand why."

"Because he looks like him, don't you think?" She pulled another box towards her to investigate its contents.

"He looks like an insane mass murderer." Jane said bluntly, perching herself on the foot of Darcy's bed.

Darcy gave her a withering look. "Well clearly someone never read the description in Prisoner of Azkaban."

Jane laughed and shook her head. "Guilty." She said. "But I'd say he's more a Severus Snape look alike, all that greasy hair."

Darcy laughed, realising as she did so that it was the first time she had all day and she hadn't thought that possible. The laughter died quickly but it was something at least. Which was quite a lot compared to the nothingness that she felt. "Why are you staying here?" She asked.

"What do you mean?" Jane asked her in response.

"Well," She replied slowly. "I'm the one with the stupid spell. You don't have to stay here, SHIELD wouldn't make you if you made a fuss."

"You're insane if you think I'm letting you live alone with... _him_."

"Ah yes because clearly he is no match for the mighty Jane." Darcy joked.

Jane gave her a worried look. Darcy squirmed uncomfortably, she wanted the truth but she hated serious conversations, especially with Jane who was never distracted by her joking. "When Thor left I probably would have gone insane if you hadn't been there, one of those scientists who live at SHIELD."

"You did." Darcy pointed out. Jane smiled slightly in response.

"Okay fine, I did but I would have been a lot worse if you weren't there." She told her. "And I never properly thanked you, I can't cope on my own. I set things on fire and get distracted by work and forget to eat and let's not talk about the times you've had to remind me I was still in my pyjamas before we've left for work."

As touched as Darcy felt she couldn't quite accept this. "You just get a little occupied by work." Darcy told her. "And I've told you I'm fine with doing everything else." She didn't mention that the wage for being Jane's assistant was triple what she could otherwise hope to earn as a political science major. Besides, she knew that especially with what they'd gone through with Thor, that she would have done the work anyway for a lot less, out of interest mostly but also because she didn't want SHIELD messing with her memories. "But none of that justifies you having to live here."

"Oh stop." She said standing. "I'm staying here. That's final. And I'm going to find Thor if it kills me."

Darcy smirked slightly. "I feel sorry for him when you do."

Jane laughed. "Oh he has got a hell of a lot of explaining to do." She walked out of the room and Darcy realised she felt a lot better. Despite Jane's ludicrous reasons for staying, Darcy was a lot happier that she was.

She'd grown close to Jane over the past year. They were more like sisters than friends and she didn't mean that in the cheesy way that most girls did. They wound each other up beyond logical reason but at the same time they loved each other, and there was no one that Darcy trusted more. Especially since Erik left to work on the tesseract.

She pulled her phone out of her bag to text her kind-of-sort-of-nearly-almost boyfriend Adam who worked as one of SHIELD's media editors, the ones who fed the cover-up stories to the press. They'd been on a few dates and everyone assumed they were together though neither had made any attempt to make it official.

 _You would not believe the day I am having_. She tried sending before receiving an error message. No signal. She sighed and rolled back over on the bed. Well wasn't that just great?

With no other way of communicating until she found her laptop she commenced unpacking. When her laptop failed to show up she decided that SHIELD must have thought giving Loki access to the outside world was probably a bad idea. Or so she told herself, the idea that they didn't even trust her with that was a bit too much.

Instead she made dinner. She wasn't much of a cook but she was a lot better than Jane and it was her turn. As she prepared the sauce for the spaghetti she wondered whether Loki even ate mortal food and decided that he could just sort himself out if he didn't. Thor certainly seemed to like food but Loki was a Frost

Giant, for all she knew he ate ice or something.

"Food's ready!" She called before grabbing her bowl and sitting down. Jane would be a few minutes as she finished up whatever she was writing and she was just starting to hope that Loki wouldn't come down at all when he walked through the door. She jumped as he entered, she had very good hearing and his sudden appearance was startling. How could he move so quietly?

He must have showered because the blood was gone from his face, just thin red lines and faint bruises where before he'd been a beaten mess. She'd known that he would heal quickly but quite that quickly was shocking. All except for his eye which whilst looking slightly better still seemed like one of the worst cuts she'd ever seen. From the looks of it he'd had to cut the matted blood from his hair so that it reached to just an inch below his ears, pushed back and damp.

She looked into her bowl of food feeling oddly intrusive. This was the villain who killed so many people and destroyed New York. He ought to have been standing on the top of a sky scraper screaming his nonsense. To have him here, in a kitchen after he'd showered felt so private a moment that she felt uncomfortable.

"Help yourself." She said, her voice sounding strained and unnatural even to her own ears. He looked at her suspiciously before turning to his food and getting such a pitifully small portion that she would not have even given it to a child.

He then sat down opposite her and picked at it as though it were poisoned.

"What?" She asked, annoyed at the way he was suspiciously rifling through the food. "You don't like spaghetti?"

He glanced up briefly before looking back at his food and remaining silent. He looked slightly confused but mostly bored and annoyed.

Darcy rolled her eyes and leant back on her chair.

"Sorry I'm late." Jane said as she came into the room, causing Darcy to jump again. She cursed herself, two people in one day? She'd been a tad distracted by

Loki to hear Jane coming.

She got her food and sat at the head of the table. "So what do you think of the new house?" She asked.

"It's okay." Darcy replied slowly, still eying Loki warily. Jane's act of normality couldn't be sustained for long, Loki's very presence stunted all other conversation. Darcy finished her food quickly and excused herself, saying that she was tired and was going to go to bed. In reality she didn't think she'd ever be able to sleep knowing that Loki was just on the other side of the hall. Knowing that monster was under the same roof.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from The Devil In My Bloodstream by The Wonder Years. It doesn't really have much to do with it, it was just the song I was listening to when I started writing it.


	4. A Little Crazy Sometimes

In the morning, Loki was just as silent and sulky as he had been last night. Even when the SHIELD agents said he had to ride in the car with Jane and Darcy so that they could properly escort them. He just sat in the back and stared out the window, a vacant expression on his face. He didn't even apologise for making them an hour late because he wouldn't get out of bed.

Darcy didn't say anything either though, after all, it  _was_  a morning.

"What's it like," A voice said in her ear as she closed the door of the car. "Knowing that you finally have a purpose at SHIELD?"

"Well I suppose you wouldn't know." She snapped back.

Jane had carried on walking but Loki was standing a few feet away watching their conversation. She wished he'd go away before remembering the pain she'd receive if he did. She was glad he remembered the charm because she kept forgetting. Then again he had a lot more to lose from it.

Dan smirked at her. It was an ugly smile, it made his wide nose look bigger and his far-set eyes squint.

"And it's not even because they trust you," He continued. "You just got a spell, right? Still as useless as ever."

She rolled her eyes, she found him sort of amusing by now because his comments were just so childish. She reminded herself that he did it to everyone.

"Yeah, alright Dan." She said and walked away. As much as she would love to slap him she knew that he got his joy from getting a response from her and she wasn't going to give him the satisfaction.

Loki walked next to her. Well level with her, he was still a few feet away to make it clear that she wasn't to speak to him. He wasn't watching her anymore but looking around SHIELD with his cold, calculating eyes. She could have sworn a smile was playing at the corners of his lips.

As they entered the lab his eyes lit up with amusement. He was probably thinking how primitive it all was. The wall by the corridor was made of glass so the guards just stood by outside.

Jane pulled on her coat and walked over to one of the desks before scribbling on pieces of paper which Darcy would eventually have to file away. The benefit of thinking of nothing but work, or your boyfriend who you need to work in order to get back, was that you got straight into the job when you arrivd. Darcy however walked to the instant coffee machine in the corner, having woken up late from not sleeping until the early hours of the morning she had been unable to make her usual cup and therefore had to settle for the watery burnt coffee from the one machine in the entire building that was more than five years old.

"Hey Frost Brain do you want anything?" She asked. Loki had been watching Jane work but turned to her as though she were an annoying fly. That or he was contemplating turning her into one. He sharply shook his head once and turned back to Jane.

Darcy rolled her eyes again and sipped her manky coffee.

"Look." She told him. "I'm trying to be nice. I don't have to be. You haven't given me any reason to. So the least you could do is stop being such an asshole."

All he did was look vaguely amused until she clenched her teeth and walked over to Jane.

"Can you type this up please?" She asked, handing Darcy an equation.

"Sure." She replied, looking at the page as she attempted to decipher Jane's handwriting. Slim fingers plucked the page from her hand before she evenrealised he was with her. He scanned it, his eyebrows rising sceptically.

"This won't work." He said.

Darcy tried to take the sheet back from him but he lifted it out of her reach without even looking at her. Her fingers curled into fists in anger.

"Excuse me?" Jane asked, turning round to face him with her arms crossed, her expression incredibly unimpressed and challenging.

"It's wrong." He said, holding the paper up.

"I have a degree in astro-physics." She said with a slight grin. "I th-"

"And you're wrong." Loki interrupted bluntly.

Darcy sipped the coffee as she watched their confrontation.

He inhaled as though she was frustrating him. "You are trying to reach Asgard, correct?"

"Yes." Jane said cautiously.

"Well then," He grabbed a pen from the side and crossed out some of the numbers and wrote other ones instead.

"Wait! I'd really rather you didn't!" Jane protested feebly but he was done and shoving the paper back at her.

Jane took it suspiciously and read it through narrowed eyes. "This uh," She said at last. "actually makes more sense."

"Obviously." Loki said derisively.

"Could you type it up please?" Jane asked, handing it to Darcy but not taking her eyes off of Loki who glared at her challengingly. Darcy looked at it, Loki's hand writing was a lot clearer than Jane's and kind of old fashioned. Not cursive or anything but like the kind of print you expect to find in an old bible. She looked at Jane.

"Can I have a word?" She asked, her eyes flickering briefly to Loki. "In private?"

Jane nodded reluctantly and walked to the corner with her. Loki remained over by the wall, watching them with that same annoying smirk. Darcy didn't understand, he seemed to have two modes: sulky and silent or condescending and patronising.

"Are you insane?" She hissed.

"Not the last time I checked..." Jane said.

"Why would he help you?" Darcy asked.

"I don't know." Jane admitted. "But the equation makes sense and I've been working on it for months."

"How do you know it won't crash the entire machine if you try to use it. He might try to prevent us reaching Thor."

"I don't think so." Jane shook her head. "If anything he'd want us to, surely. Thor would just tell us in person to keep him around, he's already getting pretty good treatment."

"He's up to something." Darcy said firmly.

Jane shrugged. "Probably but that doesn't change the fact that this is right."

"He's up to something." Darcy repeated before smiling mischievously. "And I'm going to find out what."

"Great." Jane said sarcastically. "But could you type that up first.

Darcy glared at her but went over to the computer anyway.

"How did you know that anyway?" She heard Jane ask Loki.

"Not all of us left our education at 'the realms connect like a tree.'" Unable to stop herself, Darcy laughed and turned to see Jane's expression which was just as gormless as she'd hoped. Loki gave Darcy a wary glance before turning away again.

"H-h-how did you know he told me that?" Jane asked flabbergasted.

"He likes showing off his...impressive...knowledge to lesser mortals."

"Lesser what?" Jane asked, annoyed. Loki ignored her.

For the next few hours Loki and Jane worked on Jane's research while Darcy was kept busier than she had been in months, photocopying things for Loki and typing things up for Jane. When she told them it was her lunch break, Jane looked at the clock on the wall shocked.

"Okay." She said.

"Umm," Darcy started awkwardly. "I kind of have to steal your partner."

Jane looked from Loki to her and her eyes widened. "What you want to take him to the canteen?"

"Why not?" Darcy asked back.

"Won't he cause a riot or something?"

"There's barely ever anyone in there." Darcy replied. "And I'm sure Frost Brain promises to be on his best behaviour, don't you?"

Loki predictably ignored her.

Darcy refrained from rolling her eyes, deciding that she'd done that much too much today already. "Come on." She hoped he was following her because she didn't really want to encounter the magical barrier.

"Woah." Dan said, stepping in her way as she tried to walk through the door. "Where do you think you're going?"

"To the canteen, idiot. It's my lunch break."

He looked passed her shoulder at Loki, a flash of fear showing on his face before the 'holier than thou' expression returned. "You can't go up there."

"Oh yes I can, it's in my contract." Darcy smiled and pushed her glasses back up on her face. For once she was thankful she'd woken up too late to put her contacts on, her glasses worked for great expressions.

His eyes flicked to Loki again. "That was before...him."

Darcy crossed her arms and shifted her weight to her right leg. "Well if you'd like to take it up with Fury..."

It worked. His face visibly paled and he stepped out of the way. They both knew he wouldn't bother Fury with something so trivial though he did tell two of the guards to follow them.

The thing about the canteen was that more often than not it was empty. The base in New Mexico was primarily a research facility. Sure it had its fair share of guards but most people were scientists. And most of the scientists were like Jane, too busy with their work to come up and eat.

So it was that when Darcy and Loki entered only three people were sat in the large room. For some reason they kept it well staffed, they could have got away with just vending machines but mostly, such as on this occasion the five workers just stood around talking.

Darcy didn't pay attention to the people as she walked in, knowing that she and Loki were getting looks. She just kept her chin up high and ignored them before marching to the opposite side.

"Are you hungry?" She asked Loki. At this point she would have been shocked if he  _did_  respond. She rolled her eyes. "Go sit down then, asshole."

Loretta, the normally friendly and chatty lunchroom worker said nothing as she passed Darcy her sandwiches, one for her and one for her to take back down to Jane. Instead she just glared at her suspiciously.

Darcy started to search the room for Loki before her eyes fell instead upon Matt. He grinned at her as she walked over and she felt the vice on her lungs unclench slightly, she hadn't realised how nervous she'd been of his treating her differently.

"Hey," He greeted through a mouthful of chilli.

"At least swallow first, God." Darcy complained in way of response.

He choked it down and wiped his mouth with his napkin. "Nice to see you're in a good mood." The guard replied. The nice thing about Matt was that he really made an effort to get on with everyone, though Darcy severely doubted that that would extend to certain Norse Gods. He was also one of the few who didn't look down on her for not going through the usual recruitment process of being handpicked from whichever university or army you were at.

"I'm fine I just don't like seeing all that." She said disgusted. He leant closer his eyes narrowing at her.

"You  _are_ fine." He said at last, sitting back up straight done with his scrutiny. "Shouldn't you be distraught or cowering or something because of your new roomy?"

Darcy snorted. "Yeah right, the scariest thing about him is his haircut." He could probably hear her but she didn't care. If he was going to practically use her as a magical hostage and then be rude to her she was going to be just as rude back.

"You called him a 'asshole.'" He commented. She couldn't tell if he meant anything by it.

"Yes?" She prompted.

"Well most people would be a bit wary about calling homicidal maniacs names."

"Trust me when you've seen the guy frown over cereal he stops being quite so intimidating." She replied.

His hand reached out and grabbed her wrist.

"You can't get comfortable around him." He whispered. "He's dangerous."

She yanked her arm bag. "For christ's sake, Matt, I know that! I'm not an idiot."

"Just making sure." He said, putting his arms up in surrender and leaning back.

Her eyes flickered to Loki who was sat in the back corner of the room, not paying attention and looking bored. The guards stood on either side of him. She wondered how she was expected to find that intimidating before she realised that anyone else guarded like that would look pathetic. Loki must have been pretty intimidating to come off as merely bored.

"Hi." A voice said from behind her. She jumped and span round, people had really got to stop sneaking up on her.

"Adam!" She said in reply. He slid into the seat next to her, his expression as always, unreadable. "How're you?"

"Fine." He replied, eyes flickering briefly to Matt. He'd always been kind of jealous of Matt. He was good looking she supposed, with his bronze skin and curly black hair but it was in a pixie kind of way and there just wasn't anything romantic between them. Adam however was six foot of pure sexiness, from his messy brown hair to his bright blue eyes.

"Well that's good." She replied. He was normally quiet like this and she normally enjoyed the challenge of drawing conversation out of him but today she just wasn't in the mood. "I tried to text you last night, no signal." She told him, hinting at an explanation as to why he hadn't texted her at all, even when she got to work.

Luckily he got the hint. He was really intelligent but utterly hopeless when it came to relationships. Which they weren't technically in, just a few dates but still.

"Ahh right, I figured I'd let you spend some time settling in. I heard you volunteered to keep an eye on Loki." He spat his name and for some reason it made her angry. Loki was her problem, not his.

She shared a brief look with Matt who had higher clearance level than Adam and therefore knew about the magical complications.

"Ahh right," She said. "Well it was more Jane y'know, seeming as her and Thor..."

"Right." He said nodding. "So you want to go out on Saturday? I was thinking we could go up to Santa Fe?

"Uh yeah," Darcy said awkwardly which was most unlike her but she wasn't very good at lying, she preferred to just be blunt with people. "I'd love to but Fury says both of us have to stay in the house with-"

"No problem." He interrupted, colour had risen to his cheeks and Darcy felt slightly guilty. He was so awkward sometimes, like now, that she got second-hand embarrassment. Matt was also trying not to laugh so she kicked him under the table. "Some other time."

"Yeah, some other time." She replied.

They ate most of the rest of their lunch in silence but when Darcy looked up she could have sworn Loki was smirking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Give A Damn by A Rocket To The Moon. About the whole song lyrics for chapter titles thing, it has two parts. I tend to associate chapters or stories with songs (like this was originally named after A Beautiful Lie by Thirty Seconds To Mars so it just feels right naming them after lyrics. The second part is that I'm too lazy to think of chapter titles. Anyway I hope you like the chapter.
> 
> PS Thank you so much for the reviews. I think this is the first time I've ever had reviews on a story and it means the world so thanks


	5. Sometime Around Midnight

A week. Loki had been living with her for a week. And if there was one thing she hadn't expected Loki to be it was annoying yet that's all that came to her mind when she thought of him. He hadn't said a thing to her in all that time so, as wrong as she knew it was, it had become a favourite past time of hers to be as annoying as possible in response.

She'd showered and changed into pyjamas when she got home because it was Jane's night to cook and thanks to her stupid house arrest it wasn't like she had anywhere to go.

She was twisting her hair into a towel turban as she entered the living room. Loki was sat in the arm chair in the corner which he'd claimed as his own. The sight of him in such domestic positions never failed to amuse her.

"Why yes," She said sarcastically when she saw him. "You can borrow my copy of The Lord of The Rings. Thank you so much for asking." He took her stuff like he owned it. He returned it, of course but it still grated on her that he wouldn't even ask. Though she did have to admit it wasn't the problem she thought she'd have when living with him.

He didn't look up from the book, his face as impassive as ever. His wounds were all gone now, except for the one over his eye which had turned into a jagged red scar that cut across his eyebrow.

Sometimes she looked at him and wondered how he was the same person that did all that did all that stuff last year. She could barely even tie the laughing

Loki she'd first met with the one in front of her. All he did was sit around looking sad, which she supposed was a good thing because if he were happy it would probably mean the world was burning.

"Well I can see you are your usual bundle of laughs." She sighed. "Nice talking to you."

She left to the kitchen, the smell of burning already emanating from the oven as Jane scribbled notes at the table. Darcy shook her head and got the burnt food out of the oven, Jane not even looking up from her notes.  
She realised how similar Jane and Loki were and felt a slight twinge of annoyance. Loki would only speak to Jane, curtly at that, when at work. It would be

Darcy's luck to have to live with both of them.

The food was beyond recognition so Darcy threw it away and refilled the oven with frozen chicken nuggets and chips.

"One day you will wake up," Darcy said, sitting down next to Jane who jumped in response. "And your house will be on fire and it will be because you forgot you were cooking."

"I did it again?" She asked, pushing the notes away.

"Yep." Darcy replied. "What was it supposed to be, may I ask?"

Jane blushed. "I can't remember."

"Yeah well I guess we'll at least be able to laugh at Loki eating dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets."

"I think watching him eat my cooking would be funnier." Jane said, gazing at the notes as though wondering when she could resume them.

"So listen," Darcy started. "When you two are working, has he said anything?"

Jane glared at her. "You still aren't letting this drop?"

"Deranged psychopath starts helping mortal with research out of the kindness of his heart?" She asked in reply.

Jane sighed in response. "He hasn't said anything to me that wasn't strictly work related. He sometimes looks at me like he's imagining killing me slowly and painfully though if that helps."

"Yeah well he does that to everyone, I think that's just the Loki default look." Darcy said, leaning back in her chair. She had been hoping for some big slip up of his. Something like "Oh yes I'm secretly using this research to take over the world but shush you mustn't tell anyone." Yes. That would have been nice.

"So what's your latest theory?" Jane asked.

"Well..." Darcy started, knowing Jane wouldn't like it.

"What?" She snapped.

"You've seen how quickly those marks healed."

"Of course." Jane replied. "He's from Asgard he heals quicker than we do."

"Right," Darcy said slowly as though trying to break the death of a pet to a child. "Well he said he got them from his dad right? Or under his father's commands at least?"

"Well Odin is the king so yes." Jane was looking at her suspiciously.

"He heals so quickly, what if it wasn't built up over time? What if they were inflicted daily and then he...healed and got a new set?"

Jane shook her head. "Thor would never let that happen."

"Thor was the one who broke him out of prison in the first place, what if that was why?" Darcy suggested and Jane's eyes widened.

"You feel sorry for him?" Jane asked, appalled. She may not have shown it as much as Darcy did but she hated Loki a lot more than she let on. It was mostly because of Erik, she still hadn't gotten over what Loki did to him.

"Don't get me wrong, if anyone deserves that kind of punishment it's him...I just don't know if anyone deserves it. I mean he was in there for a year, in what world is that supposed to make his mind better? It's only going to damage it more."

Jane eventually nodded. "All right so what's that got to do with him helping me?"

Darcy started tapping nervously on the table. "He's been so quiet it doesn't really make sense. He was screaming and laughing and showing off, or at least that's what we were always told. It's like he's kind of retreated into himself like some godly form of depression or something."

"You think Loki is depressed?" Jane gave her a sceptical mocking look.

"Well it makes sense doesn't it? What if him helping you is just because he's given up? He doesn't care anymore. He hasn't tried to escape or anything. I mean he could take me as a hostage or something if he couldn't break the curse but he just hasn't."

"Yesterday you said he was quiet because he was secretly building a weapon instead of a way to Asgard. The day before it was because he was trying to reach Asgard for revenge. Today it's because he's got a mental illness?"

"I'm just saying that it makes sense!"

"You know," Jane said standing up. "How about instead of just watching him you try taking to him. And like an actual human rather than insulting him. You might learn something."

"What like you are?" Darcy asked back annoyed.

"I'm not saying I am but it might put an end to all your ludicrous theories." She went over to the oven.

Darcy didn't say anything. Something was obviously up with Loki and if Jane didn't care that was her problem, she was going to find out what it was if it killed her.

"Loki!" Jane called. "Dinner is ready."

Loki entered the kitchen when the food was on plates on the table. Darcy didn't think she'd ever seen anything funnier than the look on his face when he saw it.

Darcy couldn't sleep that night. After trying for a few hours she decided it was time to give up and rolled out of bed with the plan of getting sleeping pills which she'd had Jane, being the only one allowed out to go shopping, buy her after her first sleepless night living with Loki.

Her feet fumbled to find slippers and she yawned. She felt tired enough to collapse but for some reason sleep eluded her.

Half asleep she almost didn't realise as she walked downstairs that the light was on in the living room until she reached it.

"For fuck's sake," She moaned. "It is two in the morning."

Loki glanced up from the book long enough to roll his eyes at her before returning to it. She threw herself onto the sofa next to him. She curled her legs up beneath her and leant across to jab Loki in the arm. His nostrils flared slightly at her touch but otherwise he ignored her.

"What are you doing still awake, you idiot?" She asked, her voice slightly hoarse.

He looked up at her, eyes narrowed. Anger flared in his eyes and for the first time she could see him as the person who caused the destruction in New York, the venom in his eyes alone was enough to level the city. "Watch your tongue, mortal." He spat.

Any sane person would run a mile under that look, Darcy thought as she once again proved her stupidity by getting annoyed at his comment rather than scared. "Well it looks like you finally figured out how to use yours." She retorted snarkily.

He gave her an appraising look that made her insides crawl, like he was trying to decide which way would be the slowest and most painful way to kill her. For some reason she didn't feel scared, just anxious. She never thought she'd be thankful for that magic spell thing that stopped him being able to kill her.

"Are you," He started slowly, his voice velvety smooth. "Always this insufferable?"

Darcy grinned. "I try." Her brain felt like mush from her lack of sleep, or maybe it was just in a state of shock from Loki talking. Therefore, it took her a few moments to recall what she'd originally asked. "Now why are you up?" She repeated but he was already reading again.

"Hello?" She asked, reaching over to poke him. She didn't know why she kept touching him, it was like poking a feral animal, clearly was not going to end up well. Still, she got a sort of sadistic pleasure from his annoyance, like irritating a sibling.

He moved so quickly she barely saw it but the next the next thing she knew his hand was closed around her wrist, her arm still outstretched, pulling both of them to their feet. His fingers dug in painfully but she tried not to show it. He looked furious, his eyes slitted, his lips pressed into a thin line. She tried to pull her arm back but it was no use.

"Do not touch me again." He growled.

She laughed, sounding a lot more confident than she felt. "You're like a petulant kid." She mocked. She reached her hand that wasn't being gripped for her pocket before remembering that she was wearing her pyjamas and her taser was on charge in her room.

His fingers tightened even more, it felt like the bone was being crushed. She was mentally going through the self defence classes that SHIELD had made her take but she couldn't remember the "how to battle an immortal being" lesson.

"I am a God." He hissed, bringing his face close to hers. The silkiness of his voice was gone, instead he just sounded desperate. She could feel her heart racing as adrenaline pumped through her.

She smiled at him coldly, returning the evil glare he was giving her. "Don't kid yourself." She retorted. "You're a monster."  _Stop talking!_  Her brain scolded but as usual her mouth didn't listen.

He raised an eyebrow, the scar on his eye stretching. "You have no idea." He replied at last, letting go of her wrist. He'd left finger shaped bruises on her skin. When he saw them something changed on his face, she must have imagined it because it was gone again in a second but he looked almost concerned.

Her hand cracked across his face. He was taken by surprise, his head snapping to the side. Her hand stung and she felt a slight tingling in her cheek, she assumed that must be the pain that Loki felt from the slap. Stupid magical connection. Stupid Asgardian being stupidly unhurt by her slap.

He looked at her, his face questioning as though he couldn't understand why she'd just slapped him. "You dick." She said, rather aware of the fact that she could probably think of a better insult. "I don't care if you've got daddy issues or whatever, who the hell do you think you are?"

He opened his mouth to reply but she could almost hear the baffled response of 'I am Loki of Asgard' and she didn't think her anger could take that. "No!" She stopped him. "I don't give a flying fuck that you're immortal! That gives you absolutely no right to treat the rest of us like we're beneath you, get off your high fucking horse." She was breathing heavily but at that moment she didn't care.

"You are the reason we are all here. We're doing you the favour here! The least you could do is stop acting like such a spoilt brat!" She was so angry with him she didn't know where to start. Did he not even care that he'd messed up her life? That she was under house arrest because of him?

"I didn't mean to grip you so tightly." He mumbled.

"Oh well that makes it okay then!" She cried sarcastically. She knew she was acting hysterically but she figured at this point she could blame it on the lack of sleep. "And don't give me that crap! You probably have the marks too!" She reached towards him before he could pull away and pulled his sleeve up, her next words catching in her throat at the sight of his skin. Thin white scars crossed his arm, over lapping each other like a thousand asterisks. There were two that were slightly deeper, still red and puckered. His bruises had bruises, so many that any finger print ones would be hidden. And they all stopped immediately as they reached his hands.

"H-h-how?" She stammered, completely at a loss for things to say. She turned his hand gently over in hers to see the other side, scared that she might break it. He yanked his arm back angrily and pulled the sleeve down.

"I believe you know how." He muttered viciously.

"But those marks are gone." Darcy said, shaking her head, still unable to understand it. "Your face and hands..."

"I managed to speed the healing up in certain areas." Loki snapped.

"With magic?" She asked. He didn't say anything which she took to mean yes, if he admitted he'd used magic then Fury would probably add to the wounds.  
She thought Asgardians healed quicker, maybe it just took more to inflict the wounds in the first place. Or maybe, she thought, this was quicker. Just how many mortals could have survived with those wounds?

"He did this every day?" She asked, unable to keep the shock from her voice.  
His eyes flashed dangerously and he took a step away from her. "That's none of your concern." He snapped reminding Darcy of why she was angry in the first place.

"It is when you're being a jerk." She retorted, unable to muster her earlier annoyance.

"You are quite possibly the most unbearable mortal it has ever been my displeasure to meet." He told her.

"Right, well I guess now you have a legitimate excuse to try to destroy the world again." She said, her hands on her hips. She realised her cookie monster pyjamas probably weren't the most intimidating things in the world which might be why the corners of Loki's lips twitched.

"Was that a smile, Frost Brain?" She asked, amusement in her voice.

He rolled his eyes. She was tempted to jab him again but recalled the bruises on his skin. Even a prod from her would probably be torture. "Okay but that was a smile, right?" She repeated.

He gritted his teeth. "Shouldn't you be asleep? Upstairs? Away from here?"

"Shouldn't you?" She retorted, sitting down on the sofa and folding her arms. "No wonder it's so hard to wake you up in the mornings, you get no sleep."

He remained standing and shook his head slightly. "I don't even know why I'm talking to you."

Darcy grinned. "Because you find my company so exhilarating?"

He scowled. "No that's definitely not it."

"Careful," Darcy warned. "Or I'll spit in your dinner."

He glared at her. "Jeez I was joking." She said. "Don't they have humour on Asgard?"

"Oddly lacking in the dungeons." Loki replied curtly.

Darcy sat up straight and looked at him. "Loki smiled and made a funny on the same day? What the hell did Jane put in your food?"  
Again he looked at her blankly as though waiting for an explanation as to what was in the meal. "Again, just joking." She told him, trying to hide her own amusement.

"I do not understand you mortals." He said, scratching the back of his neck in a way so human it shocked Darcy more than him talking. Maybe she had fallen asleep and this was all a dream.

"You don't understand anything that doesn't kneel on command." Darcy said.

"Everyone kneels," Loki said seriously. "They just take a bit of persuasion." His voice sounded hollow. She felt weird, like that sentence wasn't meant for her ears. It was too intimate and private.

"Ri-i-ight." Darcy said in reply. "Persuading like a three foot sceptre." Even to her own ears the response sounded flippant and annoying.

"Something like that." Loki nodded, wandering away.

"Hey!" She called after him. "Where are you going?" But he wasn't listening to her anymore, by the time she'd stood up he'd disappeared at the top of the stairs.

She stayed up for a bit, trying to figure out what had just happened. Had she actually had a conversation with him? Her skin crawled. She'd felt pity for him. Pity for that...monster. She told herself to get a grip and went through in her mind all of the horrible things he'd done until she was burning with hatred. She clung to that feeling as she went to sleep. At least hatred for Loki made sense, the complete opposite to what that night had been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Title from The Airborne Toxic Event's Sometime Around Midnight. Just in case it wasn't clear, Loki isn't actually depressed or whatever because God that would be an awful plot, it's just Darcy trying to fit his behaviour into things she can understand. It's just that his motives aren't clear until much later and I didn't want anyone to think I was rolling with that...
> 
> Anyway, I hope you liked it


	6. Distance From Me

Because Jane was hopeless in the mornings, the unfortunate job of waking Loki up fell to Darcy. After the first morning when Loki had not emerged for well over an hour past when they should have left, they'd both decided it was a necessary task.

Today felt different however. She stood outside his door and, after hesitating slightly, raised her fist to it before banging it several times. "Get your Asgardian ass out of bed!" She shouted, knowing she would have to return at least three more times to make sure he was actually awake. And she'd thought that she was bad in the morning.

She showered and got dressed, thinking longingly of the days when she could wake up early and go for a run outside before work. The home gym just wasn't the same and as such she didn't tend to use it as much as she thought she ought to. It seemed colder today, it was the first week of October and it was like the seasons had aligned themselves so that they fit perfectly into where they theoretically should.

She decided to celebrate the occasion by getting her boots out of the wardrobe. Autumn was her season; she loved the jumpers and scarves, the hot chocolate and crunching leaves. Not that she got much of that in New Mexico but her family were from Connecticut so she'd had plenty of pleasant autumns in the past.

She was too preoccupied by revelling in the pleasant clicking her boots made on the floor to notice Loki as she went to bang on his door for the second time. As such, they almost collided on the landing. She stumbled backwards and he grasped her shoulders to stop her falling. He let go so quickly she wasn't sure it had really happened but she could still feel the impressions of his hands through her jumper. Not of force but heat. That was impossible though, her jumper was really thick.

She looked up at him in surprise to find that he was glaring at her in anger as though she'd made him collide into her.

"What are you doing awake?" She asked, realising rather embarrassingly that she was repeating herself from last night...morning...whatever.

"Watch where you are going." He snarled, storming past her, careful to skirt round her as though the slightest touch would kill him. She sighed and refrained from rolling her eyes. He was his usual pleasant self then.

They were getting into the car when Loki looked at her for possibly the first time without anger in his eyes. Instead it was confusion. She'd slid into the backseat next to him. Jane gave her a look in the mirror but didn't say anything. She could explain later, Darcy decided.

"Here." She said to him, holding out a travel cup of coffee. She vaguely saw Jane narrow her eyes at her from the corner of her eye but she ignored it. Loki stared at the cup. She stifled an eye roll and shoved it towards him. "Take it."

He reached his hand out and held it as though it was poisoned before lifting his eyes to her and looking at her suspiciously. She sighed. "It's just coffee."  
He looked back at the cup, confused. She swallowed her annoyance, what was so difficult about drinking the coffee? "It's not poisoned or anything." She told him. "Just drink it."

She took a few sips of her own and watched as he raised it to his lips and took a singular sip before wincing slightly.

"What?" She asked. "You don't like it?"

He stayed silent for a few moments and returned to looking out of the window. She didn't think he was going to answer but he replied with "It's a bit sweet."

She swore to God she thought Jane was going to crash the car.

She avoided looking at her and swallowed slightly guiltily. She'd put three sugars in because she needed more than just caffeine in the morning. Then she mentally slapped herself because she shouldn't be feeling guilty over not getting Loki's coffee right. She wanted to scream "JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE DOING HERE!" the slow approach was not the Darcy one. Then again the Darcy approach of insulting him had achieved very little. Her conversation last night had resolved in the new tactic, which she would refrain from giving Jane any credit for, of being nice.

"Yeah," She answered. "Well drink up, it ought to keep you awake."

His nostrils flared slightly but he didn't say anything. She could just imagine the things he was holding back. Something like "I need no stupid mortal stimulants, you mewling quim, I am a God! *evil cackle*"

"Would you like to explain?" Jane hissed to her when they arrived, Loki walking ahead.

"I'm taking your advice." She said evasively.

"What?" Jane asked. "Advice to force feed him coffee?"

"I was just being nice." Darcy said.

"You're never nice." Jane replied to which Darcy pointedly raised her eyebrows. "Okay fine, never nice to him." She explained. "You probably scared him."

"You are joking, right?" She asked.

"Okay so 'scared' is the wrong word..."

"You think?" Darcy replied.

"You go from wanting to slap him one minute to giving him coffee the next?" Jane pointed out. Darcy squirmed, she hadn't told Jane about last night. Something within her didn't really want to.

"Don't act like you don't want to know what he's doing here." Darcy told her, trying to change the topic.

"Of course I do!" Jane replied. "Which is why I'm working to reach Asgard!"

"Well I want to know why he's helping you do that. Unlike you, I'm not buying his suddenly helpful act!"

"You really think I'm that stupid?" Jane asked, hurt in her voice.

"No, stupid is one thing you're definitely not." Darcy replied.

"Look, you think you're the only one that wants to slap the smug smile off of his face? You think you're the only one who thinks of New York every time you look at him? The only one who remembers what he did to Erik?" Her voice was getting higher.

"Then why are you not doing anything to find out why he is helping?"

"Because he is! I don't care about the why until I've spoken to Thor and because the rest of us aren't stupid enough to think we can interrogate him!"

"So now I'm stupid?" Darcy asked angrily.

"At the moment, yeah!" Her face was flushed. The guards were starting to give them odd looks so they lowered their voices again.

"Thanks Jane," Darcy replied sarcastically. "You know I've never heard that before."

"I didn't mean it that way." Jane snapped. "You know who the only successful person to ever interrogate him was? Natasha Romanof. And even she almost didn't succeed. You think you can just talk to him a bit and he'll tell you all his evil plans?"

"I can try." Darcy replied coldly. "Which is a damn sight better than what you lot are doing."

She stormed off, over taking Loki who looked up with an odd expression on his face: part amusement and part confusion. She had a horrible feeling that he'd heard every word they'd said.

Work that morning was weird. Jane was obviously upset because her work was dangerously sloppy, she was spilling chemicals and knocking things over which Darcy had to then stroppily clean up. If she hadn't known any better she would have thought she was doing it on purpose but Jane would never purposefully risk her work just to prove a point.

Loki kept looking from Darcy to Jane with that same look on his face. She felt like maybe he was used to watching people argue. She was annoyed at him too, he was the one that had caused this mess in the first place but she was being friendlier with him than she was with Jane, Jane doing the same thing.  
He looked very, very confused.

In the week that Loki had been here, Jane had progressed twice as far with her work than she had for the two years without Thor. Loki was puzzling over some equation and doing a weird thing with his fingers like he was trying to flick water off of them. Occasionally she thought she saw coloured sparks flicker.  
Jane was on the phone to some Korean scientist whose progress with some thermonuclear thingy Jane thought would help with her atom accelerator thing-a-majig. Darcy really hated her job sometimes. She thought it might be nice to understand what was going on.

She bit her lip hesitantly, Jane would be a while on the phone and Loki was busy. She sat down at the computer and went onto the SHIELD messaging server. The nice thing about SHIELD was that as long as you got your work done they didn't care if you messed around at work. They used to monitor the computers but she supposed they must have gotten tired of watching all the guards watch porn because they stopped pretty quickly.

Thankfully, Adam's contact had a little green circle next to it. She pondered for a moment what to write, she hadn't seen him since their encounter in the canteen.

 _Hey_. She wrote rather lamely, hoping he'd think of something.

After a moment or two she got a reply.  _Hi_. She'd forgotten just how bad he was at conversation. It was a good thing he was hot as hell. For some reason she found her eyes wandering over to Loki.

 _How're you?_  She asked.

 _Okay._  And then a minute later.  _You?_

She tilted her head to the side, this was going to take some effort.

_Yeah. Listen, I'm sorry I've been so busy lately. Fury has officially made my list for making me do this.  
_

_It's okay. I've been pretty busy too or I would have been in touch earlier.  
_

That distracted her for a moment.

_Busy? With what?  
_

_More Mandarin attacks. We've had to hush it up but I don't know how much longer we can keep doing this. It's getting ridiculous.  
_

She vaguely recalled a terrorist attack last year by some guy called the Mandarin. Around ten people had died. She didn't realise there'd been more.

_Isn't anyone trying to stop it?  
_

_They've got Ward on the case now.  
_

She gritted her teeth. Grant Ward was the worst kept secret at SHIELD. Officially he worked the same department as Adam, just at the New York base. Everyone knew he was one of their agents though. She'd met him at last year's Christmas party. He flirted with anything with a pulse and it had taken all her self-restraint not to taser him when he kept hitting on her after she'd said no like fifty times.

_Ward? They need Romanof.  
_

_Yeah well she's still deep under cover in Russia._ After the avengers stuff they'd decided it was best to keep her out of the public eye for a while. There wasn't much decent footage of her helping but they decided to let they hype die down a bit before they gave her more high profile cases.

 _That sucks._ Darcy replied.

 _Yeah well how's life with...you know._ She grinned, it was kind of cute that he couldn't even type Loki's name.

_Like a bad 80s sitcom.  
_

_Wait you mean there are good 80s sitcoms?  
_

_I'll let you know if I find any.  
_

_You still under house arrest?  
_

_Yeah, unfortunately.  
_

_Oh. I was going to ask if you wanted to do something Friday.  
_

Darcy's eyebrows rose in surprise. He'd never been so direct.

_You could come round?  
_

_What to yours?  
_

_Yeah. We could watch films or something.  
_

_Would he be there?  
_

_Yeah but don't worry, he's harmless. He just skulks in his room.  
_

She had to wait a bit for his response.  _  
_

_Okay. What time?  
_

_Seven?  
_

_Sounds good. I've got to go now, something about Banner going hulk.  
_

_Okay, see you.  
_

She smiled at the screen. It was kind of nice to have something to think about other than Loki and Jane. And she'd managed to get rid of the slightly guilty feeling she'd had that she hadn't spoken to him in a while. It was weird because she'd been crazy about him for so long...she was sort of struggling to remember why.

"All right," A voice boomed behind them. "Gather round."

 _Fuck_ , Darcy thought as she turned round. A visit from Fury was never good, look what the last one had gotten her: a homicidal deranged Norse god who acted like a sullen teenager.

He walked into the room with two guards at his shoulders, both with guns in their arms. Fury's hand's were behind his back calmly but she recognised the set of his face: he was angry. Loki looked curiously up from his equation, a slight smirk playing on his lips as he saw fury. Darcy tried not to grin, she wasn't saying she approved of Loki's attitude but it was hilarious to watch Fury react to it. You know, when said reactions don't involve her living with a murderer. Jane stuttered a hurried farewell to the scientist as she hung up.

"Sit." He snarled, gesturing to the long metal table in the middle of the room which currently had various scientific notes scattered across it that Jane wouldn't let Darcy tidy up. Darcy immediately took the seat nearest her, Jane doing the same thing so that she was a seat over from her. Loki walked slowly, as though refusing to let Fury hurry him.

"You too." He spat at Loki who raised his hands in mock surrender and took the seat between her and Jane. She noticed he had a slight gleam in his eye and realised just why they called him the God of Mischief. His eyes lit up like a kid who'd put itching powder in his mum's bed while the rest of his expression showed boredom.

Fury started pacing in front of them, not saying anything to be dramatic.

"Is there a point to your visit or are you just catwalking to show off?" Darcy asked after a few minutes, growing rather nervous that he was here because of last night. She thought she saw Loki smirk from the corner of her eye but she kept her focus on Fury.

He stopped walking and glared at her but it wasn't really different from his normal look. "You wanna rephrase that?" He growled. "I can h-"

"Yeah yeah you can fire me, whatever I've had this talk before." She told him. The guards looked surprised, even Jane looked at her warningly. "What are you doing here, Fury?"

"You want to-"

"No." She cut him off bluntly, standing up and slamming her hands on the desk, surprising herself with the anger that had suddenly overcome her. "We both know you're not going to fire me because if you do then guess who magically comes with me. You don't want to lose your Norse God then you don't want to lose me." The words were true but she hadn't even thought them before. Something about Fury today was really irritating her, she supposed she just wasn't in the mood for his utter bullshit.

Fury held her gaze for a few moments. "Sit down." He said sternly. She hesitated before doing what he said. She didn't want to push it too far, just because he couldn't get rid of her didn't mean he wouldn't make her life hell.

"You," He snapped, looking at Loki. "We had an arrangement."

Loki arched one perfect eyebrow. "As far as I am aware," He spoke slowly. His voice sent goosebumps of Darcy's skin, she'd never noticed before just how gorgeous it was. The accent and the tone- well when he wasn't threatening people that was. The promise of death did tend to override the way the words were being said. "I have not broken the terms of it."

"Oh really?" Fury asked. Then again, Darcy thought, maybe Loki's voice was only nice in comparison to Fury's growl. He made Mad Eye Moody's voice sound irresistible. "You wouldn't want to explain last night then?"

Jane turned on Loki. "What about last night?" She asked, worried.

"She doesn't know?" Fury asked with a grin. "These two here had a nice little midnight chat."

Jane looked at Darcy with an expression akin to betrayal, not out of annoyance at the action but because she would have expected Darcy to have told her. Darcy held her gaze, she wasn't going to look away ashamed just because she hadn't had a chance to tell Jane yet and Fury was being a dick about it.  
Then Jane did something that surprised her. She turned to Fury looking extremely angry. "And how would you know that, Director?"

"What do you mean, Foster?" He asked.

"I mean," Jane sounded seriously pissed off, Darcy couldn't remember the last time. It was scary, she was one of those people who got quieter and more formal when angry. "That last time I checked, you did not live with us. And if you do not live with us then I don't see how you could know that unless, for example, you had recording equipment in our house. Which, Director, you've always adamantly denied."

Fury's expression didn't change at all. "So what? We have recording equipment. You thought we'd put  _him_  somewhere without knowing what was going on?"

"You really don't trust me?" Loki asked, feigning innocence.

"What do you want anyway?" Darcy added. "So what we talked? You're the one who put us in a house together! I didn't really think talking would be one of your concerns."

"My concern, Miss Lewis," Fury's voice rose and he leant over the desk to her. "Is what occurred in that discussion. Namely, this."

He reached forward before she could react and pulled the sleeve of her red jumper back, revealing the yellowing bruises on her wrist. They looked a lot worse than they did last night.

"Loki, you didn't..." Jane said quietly. She sounded disappointed, Darcy supposed she just couldn't resist being all motherly.

"It was an accident." Darcy and Loki said at the same time. She felt colour rise to her cheeks, she couldn't believe she was defending him. All she knew was that it was different when she was the one shouting at Loki for it, it was like Fury was saying she couldn't stand up for herself.

"It was an accident." Loki repeated calmly, sounding bored though he shot her a brief glare out of the corner of his eye. She couldn't tell if that was because she'd had the nerve to get bruises or because she'd said the same thing as him.

"An accident?" Fury asked disbelievingly. "What part of if you hurt either one of these girls-"

" _Girls_?" Darcy asked in disgust.

"Women," Fury corrected. "Do you not understand?"

"If I wanted to hurt either one of them do you not think they would have a few more marks than those?" Loki asked as though dealing with an annoying child.

"The marks are simply there because I was not aware of just how easily mortals were injured. Now that I am acquainted with the extent of your weakness, I assure you it won't happen again."

Fury continued to glare at him disbelievingly.

Loki arched an eyebrow. "Do you not have something better to be doing?"

"This is the only warning you're going to get-"

"Yeah yeah Fury." Darcy said. "We get it."

He gave her an icy glare before storming out of the room in a swirl of black leather. She didn't realise how quickly her heart was racing until he was gone.  
Loki started to stand up but Jane put her arm on his. He flinched away and shot her a look of pure venom, a hundred times worse than any he'd sent at her.  
"Wait," Jane said. Loki stood up but didn't walk away. "What happened last night?"

Loki sighed annoyed and pushed past her to return to his equations. Jane's questioning gaze turned to Darcy.

"Nothing, we just spoke." Darcy told her.

"And what about the bruises?"

"He just grabbed my arm, it's like he said."

"You expect me to believe someone who flinches when touched, purposely grabbed your arm?" She raised a sceptical eyebrow.

"No Jane, obviously not. I gave myself the bruises. How else do you think they got there?" Darcy snapped, her anger at Fury being displaced to Jane.

Jane refused to partake in any argument, however. "I just want to know what happened."

"I just told you." Darcy spat. "It's not my fault if you're too stubborn to believe it."

She stormed over to where Jane had been working and started to clean it up.

"What are you doing?" Jane asked.

"My job. You might want to do yours."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title from Twin Atlantic's Time For You To Stand Up.


	7. Another Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Coldplay's Christmas Lights because I'm feeling festive. A short chapter but I have a cutesy one coming up. Updates may be a little slower over the next couple of weeks because it's quite a busy period but I'll try. As always, thanks for reading and for the reviews.

"You finished The Lord of The Rings?" Darcy asked in surprise as she entered the room. It had taken her just over a month and yet Loki had managed in just a few days. He looked up lazily from the new book he was reading, The Magician's Guild. She stifled a laugh, The Lord of The Rings was at least a classic, as great as The Magician's Guild was, it was far too amusing thinking of Loki reading it.

"Obviously." He replied curtly before pointedly turning the page. She found it difficult to tear her eyes from him as she leant against the door frame. He had a lazy way of sitting that made every chair, even the plain leather one he was on, look like a throne. And she had to admit, he looked quite at home on one with his legs sprawled out in front of him as he leant against the corner. She hadn't really realised how tall he was either, he was shorter than Thor but that didn't mean much.

"Is there a reason you are staring at me?" He asked without looking up from the book, an arrogant smirk playing at the corner of his lips.

His words felt like sandpaper. He had progressed to the point of every action being irritating, quite a feat in just over a week.

"Oh, you know, you're just sooo irresistible." She mocked. He ignored her. "So why all the reading?"

"Even literature written by mortals is better than the company of actual mortals." He said.

"Are you capable of speaking any sentence that doesn't insult someone?" Darcy asked.

"Of course," He replied, smirking but still not looking up from the book. "But where's the fun in that?"

"You know," Darcy said, walking over to the sofa. "Normal people have a hobby. Like golf. You should start golf."

He turned the page, his face full of utter disinterest. She suppressed a smile. He could fake being as bored as he liked but he kept the conversation going.

Then she realised with a start that it hadn't even been twenty four hours since their first actual conversation and yet they were talking like they'd known each other for years. Not like they'd been friends for years but it was still a lot bigger "something" than previously.

"Do I have to remind you that on no realm am I considered normal?" He asked.

Darcy opened her mouth in mock shock. "You mean there is no realm for insane, homicidal people with daddy issues?"

She expected him to get angry, she was kind of hoping he would because at least a Loki she could argue with made sense. Instead he dryly replied: "Yes, I believe you call it America."

Darcy laughed. "Careful, the house is bugged." She joked. "And you're kind of under the protection of the US government."

"Bugged?" Loki asked confused. He furrowed his eyebrows slightly, the way he did when working on a complex maths problem.

"You know, cameras and stuff." She clarified.

"Ahh." He said, looking up from his book to look out at the room, locating a camera in the corner and staring at it. "Yes, I, Loki of Asgard, leader of the army who destroyed New York dislike America."

Darcy smiled. She wanted to laugh, sarcasm was after all her favourite form of comedy but there was something in the "army who destroyed New York" part of his comment that stopped her. "Right," She said instead, feeling the need to defend her country. "Because we all would have been a lot better off under your rule."

"Of course you would." He replied bluntly.

"Ahh so should I kneel now or wait for you to call in your chitauri backup first?" If she hadn't been watching him so carefully she wouldn't have noticed the way he winced ever so slightly when she said the word "Chitauri." She supposed he was ashamed to have lost with them as support.

"Now will suffice." He told her and she wasn't sure if he was joking until he looked at her, his eyes sparkling with a muted version of the mischief she'd seen in them earlier.

"Seriously though," Darcy said, oddly conscious of the fact SHIELD were listening in. "You can't honestly expect me to believe that the first thing you would have done if you'd won would be anything but kill us all."

Loki rolled his eyes. "You mortals severely overestimate your own importance."

"Yeah right, sorry for that while we're the ones protecting you from daddy Odin." She said. He glared at her. She held his gaze but her insides squirmed uncomfortably, wondering if she'd maybe pushed it too far this time. She did the only thing she could think of: push it further. "Without us you'd still be his personal punching bag."

His nostrils flared and her skin crawled. She prepared herself to be turned into a cockroach or whatever he did to annoying mortals when movement in the corner of her eye made her turn. A snake was moving towards her, it was as long as a python and twice as thick with red, yellow and black stripes. At the same moment she felt like a nail was being driven into her skull.

She winced but managed a laugh, somehow aware of the fact that it was Loki's doing, the pain and the snake. Loki's glare flickered to brief confusion before returning back to pure hatred.

"Really?" She asked derisively "I live in New Mexico, genius. I'm not scared of snakes."

He contemplated her for a moment and the snake exploded into thousands of huge black spiders, so big that she could see the fur and count each eye. Or maybe she was imagining that part.  _Shit_. How had he known? Her head erupted in pain, as though the earlier nail had successfully split her skull in two.

She gulped and forced herself to turn back to him, raising her eyebrows and wishing she could give a better scathing look, unfortunately it was hard to be intimidating when you only just reached five foot four. Let alone to intimidate a six foot God.

"Spiders?" She asked, aiming for the same tone that she'd said snakes. Unfortunately she was a few notes too high. He was walking over to her slowly. She stayed where she was, trying to keep her eyes on the spiders and him at the same time. Despite her fear of spiders she had absolutely no problem reminding herself that he was the more dangerous one.

"I think so." He said, each word dripping with hate and menace so that it bit at her like frost. He was in front of her, so close that she could smell the leather of his clothes and his soap and the cleanness only felt in cold air. The air seemed to freeze around her but she knew that she was imagining it.

And she was pissed off.

Unfortunately, she was also pretty terrified of the spiders she could just see getting closer. And her headache was getting worse.

"You mortals," He drawled. "You think yourselves so complex, so important. You couldn't be more wrong. You are nothing more than a combination of chance. What you think makes you individual is so repetitive it becomes nothing. Your fears, your loves, your hates you will lose it all and you will die. Trust someone who's watched it happen. Over two thousand years of humanity and you have achieved nothing."

The first spider reached her foot and began to climb. He towered over her, his face twisted into a merciless smile.

"You're wrong." She said bluntly, her voice surprisingly steady.

He exhaled sharply in amusement. He opened his mouth to continue but she cut him off.

"Do you not think that some other being would say that of you?" She asked, letting her anger fill each word with spite. "You're not so different from us. Look at you. You're aopted. Yeah humans have that. Daddy issues. People have that too. The difference is that we're able to handle it without throwing world's biggest temper tantrum."

"You have no-"

"Idea?" She spat, furious. "Everyone has problems, you dick. Yeah I get it, you're from Asgard. Your lives are bigger, problems bigger, consequences bigger...whatever. You think that magically makes your pain bigger too?" A spider was crawling up her arm, everything inside her telling her to run round screaming to get it off but she stayed put. "Jane's parents died when she was ten!" She screamed, tears filling her eyes, though none spilling over. "My best friend..." She stopped, her voice catching and changed to a different example. "Erik had depression for a year after you fucked with his mind! And what you think that because you're from Asgard that makes your pain worth more than ours?

"You are so selfish. Yeah you've had a sucky life, well join the fricking club."

His face had paled. He looked almost ill. When he spoke it was a menacing hiss. "I was born to be king, you pathetic mortal."

"Yeah yeah so you tried to take over this world, I'm quite familiar with the story." More spiders were on her now, pushing her over her tolerance. It's an illusion she told herself, concentrating on not seeing it. To her surprise they disappeared like mist in a fan. Loki looked just as shocked as she felt.

"How did you do that?" He asked.

"I guess the pathetic mortal has some tricks." She said smoothly, telling herself she'd think about it later. She was breathing heavily, she realised in surprise.

And so was he, she realised even more surprised.

He shook his head. "You are ridiculous."

"Yeah maybe but I'm human. We don't like being ruled or told what to do." She glared.

He shook his head again. "Freedom is an illusion." He said.

She snorted. "Yeah, maybe under your rule."

"Under everyone's ." He snarled, his voice suddenly tight with intensity. She remembered what he'd said last night.  _Everyone kneels in the end.  
_

"Yeah the last time you said stuff like that it was Stuttgart and I don't think you need the reminder of what happened." She told him.

He took a step back and she felt her muscles loosen slightly, she hadn't realised how tense she'd been. His eyes narrowed at her curiously. "I was under the impression SHIELD blocked the footage."

"I hacked it." She said. "I saw the whole performance."

" _You_  hacked SHIELD?" He repeated disbelievingly.

"Yeah." She replied. "They shipped Jane and I off to a meeting in Switzerland as soon as they found out you were here. Of course when we got there they had no clue what we were doing there. We knew something was up so I hacked the footage. It wasn't exactly hard."

He looked annoyed, the corners of his lips turned down slightly. "Anyone else would have run by now." He said it matter-of-factly but it sounded very much like a threat to Darcy.

"Yeah well I don't run from washed up Asgard outcasts." She told him. "Honestly, the spiders were scarier than you."

He raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

"I'm not an idiot-"

"Really?"

She glared at him and continued. "I know you could kill me. There's just a difference between being scared and not caring."

"You don't care if you die?" He asked in the same disbelieving tone.

"We all gotta go some time, right?" She joked, poking his leather coated stomach and hoping it hurt. "And no that's not an invitation to kill me. I had no problems with not existing before I existed so no, no fear of death over here."

"Everyone fears it." He said.

"Umm didn't you throw yourself off the bifrost?" She asked. He glared at her again but it was more resigned this time, like she'd lost the power to say things he found intrusive.

"Why do you work at SHIELD?" He asked suddenly.

"Wow," She said, leaning back against the wall, pushing against it with her foot. "Bit of a conversation change. Umm, because the money is good."

He stared at her impassively and she felt the need to go on.

"And I can work with Jane. And I'm a political science major, it's a lot better than anything else I could hope for."

"So you'll stay a research assistant forever?" He asked mockingly.

"Oh god no." She replied.

"Then you'll leave SHIELD?"

"No." She replied awkwardly.

"So you'll get a better job at SHIELD?"

"Well no, I mean I'm lucky enough to have this one."

He smiled, giving her the uncontrollable urge to slap him. "You know why you won't leave."

"Because they'd take my memory," She said, hating herself for answering him but unable to stop herself all the same. "The only reason I have this job is because of all the stuff that happened with Thor. They'd never let me walk away with what I know."

"Freedom." He muttered.

"Yeah because things would be better with you ruling us." She snapped.

He shrugged. "You're no ordinary mortal." He said it like it was a huge insult. "A position more befitting your skills. Cleaning, perhaps?"

"Go to hell." She snapped.

"I've been there." He replied smoothly.

"Oh God are we back to therapy time with Loki? Sit," She gestured to the sofa. "I'll tell you how great you actually have it."

He just looked at her, bored. Why was it that when she wanted a reaction he didn't give her one and when she wanted him to be calm he flew off the handle? It's like he knew just what would annoy her most and did it.

"You know, how do you think Thor felt when you turned all dark side?" She asked, it was a low play but she needed to provoke him, she felt as though it were very important. "One moment his brother is being supportive the next he's trying to kill him before faking his own death only to return and try to destroy everything Thor loves. I'd say when it comes to being you or being your brother, Thor got the worse deal."

It had the desired effect, his eyes danced with green fire, standing out against his nearly translucent skin. "You-"

"What's this about Thor?" Jane asked, entering the room with unmistakable crumpled paper marks on her forehead. She'd fallen asleep doing work again then, Darcy decided. Loki's lips curled at her.

"How do you know him anyway?" He asked, clasping his hands behind his back in mock politeness.

Jane looked shocked. It was probably the first time Loki had spoken to her other than to threaten her or because of science. "He's my boyfriend." Jane told him.

Loki raised his eyebrows. "Really?" He asked. "He's never mentioned you."

Jane's face paled. "Don't be ridiculous."

"Ridiculous?" Darcy could see the corners of his lips twitching. "I am merely telling you the truth. It is you who is clinging to ridiculous fantasies."

Normally Jane would slap him but clearly he'd hit one of her greatest fears. She turned and stormed away, her fingers going to her eyes to wipe away the tears Darcy couldn't see. She should have been angry, only she was allowed to taunt Jane over Thor but all she could feel was pity towards Loki. How utterly pathetic did a God have to be to get his kicks from taunting mortals over their relationships?

"Why did you do that?" She asked.

"Why?" He repeated, raising an eyebrow.

"Forget it." She said, suddenly no longer in the mood to mock him.

He gave her a strange look as though waiting for her to carry on. He raised his fingers to his temples, right where she currently had a bad headache.

"Headache?" She asked.

His eyes snapped to her, shock, worry and confusion etched upon his face in the split second before he could look disdainful again. "I'm going to bed." He snapped.


	8. Spinning Circles

Darcy woke in the morning to the kind of grogginess which could only mean one thing: she was ill.

She sat up straight in bed, more alert than she thought she'd ever been at this time in the morning. She, Darcy Lewis, did not get ill.

Yet even as she thought that her head began to pound like she was hungover. She had to open her mouth to breathe and her throat felt more scratched and raw than after a shouting match with Loki.

 _Loki_ , she thought.

She clambered clumsily out of bed and pulled on a dressing gown over her pyjamas. Her room was freezing, so cold she was struggling not to shiver. After cramming her feet into slippers, she managed to stumble across the hallway to Loki's door.

She raised her fist and thumped on it louder than she had done before. She waited a few moments and banged again. "Get up!" She tried to shout but it came out as a scratchy whisper so she pounded on the door again.

Darcy pulled her dressing gown tighter around her. Why was the house so cold?

She raised her hand to knock again when the door opened. Loki was leaning against the door frame looking rather dazed. His eyes were barely open, his skin so pale it appeared to glow and his nose tinted slightly pink. This was not what shocked Darcy the most, however.

"What?" Loki asked disgruntled, staring down at her.

"You're wearing pyjamas." She stated. They were long sleeved and black, the kind that she thought only rich people wore that ought to have had embroidered initials on the pockets. Even so, the thought of Loki not clad in leather armour was so startling as to be absurd. Yet here he was.

He looked down at his clothes then back at her with a look of annoyance. "What did you think I slept in?"

"A coffin?" She suggested.

"What do you want?" He asked, ignoring her.

"How are you feeling?" She asked.

His head snapped to her, all drowsy grogginess gone. She stifled a grin, she supposed she'd never said something that polite to him.

"I knew it. You're ill too."

"I'm what?" He asked.

"Ill." She repeated. "You know, like sick."

He gave her another confused look.

"You've never been ill before?" She asked.

He sneered at her. "I'm an immortal God of Asgard, I don't get ill."

"Well you are." She sang. She grabbed his arm and pulled him forwards through the corridor. To her surprise he didn't protest.

"Where are we going?" He asked. She figured he must still be half asleep to allow her to touch him. She was suddenly hyper aware of ever millimetre of skin that was touching him and realised that her clammy ill person hands probably weren't the nicest.

She led him into the kitchen where Jane was pouring out cereal.

"We," Darcy announced, "Are ill."

Jane looked at them both and crossed her arms. "You two seem to have made up." She commented.

Darcy looked at him. He looked bored. "Yeah well you know I don't do grudges. Anyway, your pet science boy can't go into work today."

"I see." Jane said, watching them. "You both look horrible."

"Thanks, Jane." Darcy said.

"Oh you know what I mean." Jane snapped. "But you were both fine yesterday."

"Look, are you actually questioning our illness?" Darcy asked. "Because please, do go get one of your SHIELD doctors. Let's see if any are brave enough to stick a stethoscope on him."

"You know, I am right here." He pointed out.

Darcy nudged him. "I'm well aware of that, Frost Brain." Before mouthing to Jane "See, his brain is just..." and shaking her head.

"Again," Loki said, his voice sounding bored. "I am right here."

"Okay, so you know where you are." She patted his arm patronisingly. "Anyway Jane, we are going to go be ill properly."

"You're never ill." Jane commented. "You have the best immune system in the world. And you're ill."

"Yes Jane, well noted. God, is everyone here a bit slow this morning?" Darcy paused to cough before continuing. "I refuse to be ill any longer which means I have to get better. Which means we have a long day of doing ill people stuff."

"We?" He asked sceptically.

"Yes,  _we_ " she said with a poke to his wrist – a place she knew to be thankfully bruise free. "This stupid magical bond thingy means that if I want to get better then I have to get you better too."

"Right." He nodded before turning round. "I'm going back to bed."

"Oh no you're not," Darcy said, quickly grabbing at his wrist. "Living room. Now."

He gave her a look which could only be translated as "are you serious?"

"Go." She told him. He raised his hands in mock surrender and left. Darcy opened her mouth in exaggerated shock at Jane.

"Was he just-"

"I think so." Darcy answered.

"That's weird." Jane said before thinking for a moment. "Then again he does like you so."

"He likes me?" Darcy scoffed. "We've had like two conversations."

"And how many times has he threatened to brutally murder you?"

Darcy crossed her arms. "That doesn't mean anything, I have this stupid spell with him. If he tried to kill me he'd die too."

"He hasn't killed me yet but he threatened to like five times in our first conversation." Jane pointed out.

"Ahh you're right, he hasn't threatened to slaughter me yet so he must like me!"

"You joke but it  _is_  Loki. I think that's as close to kindness as the jerk gets."

"Is this about last night?" Darcy asked.

"No." Jane said too quickly.

"Ignore him." Darcy said firmly. "If Thor didn't care about you would he have sent you his psychotic brother?"

Jane smiled. "Maybe that was his way of showing he hates me."

"Yeah well I'm the one with the curse so it'll be me having words with the oaf when you get through to him. Speaking of, you have to go."

"Okay," Jane said, getting up and swinging her back onto her shoulder. "Have fun and please let the house still be standing when I return."

"No promises." Darcy muttered as she went into the living room.

Loki was splayed out as per usual in his arm chair, resting his head in his hands.

"Are you all right?" She asked.

"The room is spinning." He said matter-of-factly.

"Oh joy, guess I have all that to come." Darcy said, walking over to the cupboard and pulling out her old fluffy blanket. She couldn't smell because of the cold but she knew it would carry the scent of their pre-Loki home: burnt coffee and cheap laundry detergent. There were few smells more comforting. "Come on, on the sofa."

He raised an eyebrow but the effect was lost given that he was plainly sick and in pyjamas. "Really?"

"Oh calm down, sitting next to me is not going to kill you or make you mortal or whatever your pee-sized brain is imagining. This blanket is magic and we need to get better." She sat down and patted the space next to her. Loki reluctantly moved, glaring at her the entire time. She threw the blanket over him and pulled her own half up to her chin.

"You know," He said, his voice sounding hoarse, and though she wouldn't admit it, incredibly sexy. "As someone who can actually do magic, this blanket is really not living up to expectations."

Her head turned to his, momentarily forgetting that he was next to her and finding herself staring straight into his clear green eyes. Clear green eyes that despite their evident sorrow still managed to yell "die puny mortal!"

"Could you magic us better?" She asked. His face, if possible, went even paler.

"No." He snapped.

"Umm okay." She could feel the warmth coming from his body without its usual leather barrier. "Anyway, first ill person activity. Movies."

He raised his eyebrows at her. She was really starting to get used to this exasperated "really?" look of his.

"Hmm I'm guessing you won't want to watch the film adaptation of The Battle of New York..."

"They made it entertainment?" He shook his head in exasperation. "Mortals."

"You aren't even in it seeming as no one knows about your involvement." Darcy told him.

"Then what's the point? Everyone knows I'm the only interesting one." He said and she couldn't be sure if he was joking that level of arrogance though she thought he probably was.

"Interesting...psychotic...same thing" Darcy replied absently as she went through the DVDs. "Anyway I'm thinking Lord of the Rings seeming as you've read the books."

"But I've read the books." Loki stated. "Does that not defeat the purpose?"

"No because the lord of the rings films are great but now that you've read the books you can complain about how much better they are. You just have to watch the film in order to complain."

"Is this really how you mortals spend your time?" He asked.

"Only when ill." Darcy told him, deciding it would be too embarrassing to admit that if she could, she would spend every day having film marathons.

He tilted his head back to look up at the ceiling as though praying, or more likely cursing whichever God sent him here...which Darcy supposed was Thor. "Play the movie." He said in a monotone.

"Great." Darcy said as she set it up. When she was done she climbed back under the blanket, her foot accidentally brushing against Loki's leg. He flinched.

"Don't touch me." He snarled.

"Dude," She laughed. "Chill, I'm hardly doing it on purpose."

He looked at her coldly for a few moments before turning his gaze back upon the screen where it did not move for the entire duration of the film. As often happened when showing her favourite films to people, Darcy had watched more of him than of the film. His expression hasn't changed once.

"Well?" She asked at the end.

"I preferred the book." He said.

"Pfft mortal." She told him with a poke. "Right it's lunch time."

He looked at her vacantly.

"I know you don't normally eat but I feel like hell so we have to get better." He said nothing as she picked her mobile up off of the coffee table. She tapped the necessary buttons and held it to her ear. After dialling a few times she picked up.

"Darcy?" she sounded alarmed. "Are you all right? Is everything okay?"

"We are fine, Jane." Darcy said, doing her 'Thor' voice. "But this mortal form hath grown weak, I require sustenance. Uh, Loki too."

There was silence for a few moments.

"Are you...are you seriously phoning me at work to ask me to bring you food?"

"Yes."

"Darcy!" Jane scolded.

"Soup would be great, thank you fair maiden." She held the voice bit to her chest and turned to Loki. "What kind of soup do you want?" She whispered.

He looked at her sceptically. "If Jane is cooking then none."

She snickered. "Yes very good point," She said into the phone. "We don't want any if you're cooking. Get someone to send us soup."

"You have got to be kidding me." Jane said on the other end.

"We're iiiiill!" Darcy whined.

"And I am working!" Jane hissed.

"Jaaaaane."

"Goodbye, Darcy." Jane replied agitatedly and hung up.

"Right, that was fun." Darcy said. "Now I'm going to go make us food."

Loki frowned at her. "Then what was that?"

She grinned. "I have a certain quota of people to annoy per day. Given that you're being oddly...passive today I figured Jane was the next best."

He raised his eyebrows and shook his head.

"What?" She asked.

"Believe me, you do not wish to know what I'm thinking." He replied. She rolled her eyes.

She walked into the kitchen and dug out a tin of tomato soup before pouring the contents into a pan. Without the blanket, it was freezing and her head was swimming. She seemed to remember it taking a few days to get to this stage of illness. Perhaps the connection with Loki was speeding it up? She hoped that meant she'd get better sooner.

"Drink this." She told Loki when she returned, thrusting the mug of soup into his hands. He looked at it with disgust and then back at her.

"Drink it." She told him sternly, sitting back next to him and curling her legs up, careful not to touch him.

He took a sip and grimaced. "Soup." He stated in disgust. "The food of peasants."

"And ill people." Darcy told him. "You managed dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets, I think you can deal with soup."

He glared at her so she tapped her mug to his. "Cheers." She grinned and drank, the hot soup soothing her sore throat.

"And drink it all." She told him. "None of your pitiful portions. I do not want to be ill again tomorrow. Now next movie."

She fell asleep after about half an hour. When she woke, the movie had finished and Loki was sat next to her reading. Her head was about an inch from his leg and the blanket was draped around her. She quickly pulled herself upright. She was surprised Loki hadn't moved.

"Why didn't you wake me up?" She asked. Throwing some of the blanket back over him, he looked just as pale but less weary, like her nap had helped him too.

He didn't turn his head from the book. "I did not particularly care enough to." He said bluntly.

"You're feeling better then." She said, rubbing her eyes. And she did too, marginally. "What did you think of the film?"

He shrugged. "I disliked the premise."

"The what?" She asked.

"The concept." He said. "There is the 'villain' yet you are told almost nothing about him. It's just assumed that he's 'evil.'"

"From one villain to another?" She joked. He glared at her.

"You believe that people must either be evil or good?"

She frowned. "Well no but you're more evil than most."

"Right." He said, sounding almost disappointed. "I'm just the maniac that almost destroyed New York."

"No." She told him, figuring now was as good a time as any. "That was bad but you've obviously been punished for that. I really don't care about that. You're evil because you think it's fun to toy with people, like mocking Jane about Thor. I dislike you because you're arrogant, selfish and rude. New York I really couldn't care less about, that's in your past though I suppose some regret might be nice. You're not the god who caused chaos, you're just a jerk who complains about soup."

He smiled and looked at the ceiling. She didn't think she'd ever seen anything so self deprecating before.

"You don't have to do it, you know." She told him. "You don't have to make everyone your enemy. Whatever messed up stuff you have in your past, we aren't a part of it. And we don't really have much choice over being near each other."

He looked at her scornfully. "I cannot change my nature."

"I'm not asking you to." She said. "Just stop being so hurt all the time and pushing people away. I get it." And she realised that she kind of did get it. He didn't want to get hurt again. So he didn't want to let anyone in. Yeah he might have spouted that he was better than everyone and maybe he believed it but she knew that that was just a result of the pain of his past. It wasn't like he was the only one to do that. In fact, hadn't she done exactly the same thing?

"Don't try to understand me." He spat.

"I'm not trying to." She said harshly suddenly annoyed that he didn't think she could share the feeling of pain. Like he had a monopoly on being hurt. She'd had enough of being angry with him, however. "I'm trying to say that you don't have to make us your enemies. Believe me, I am so not in to all this talk about your feelings crap so this is the last time I'm going to say it. You have to move on, I figure this magic thing probably means I'm a good place to start with that and if you ever do want to talk about the emotional stuff then I'm here, you know, rather than blowing up New York again."

He looked at her curiously and she could almost see the clogs of his emotions turning: anger, annoyance, confusion. After a few moments he spoke. "There's a third movie isn't there?"

Jane came home late, as she so often did when Darcy wasn't there to make her stop. She entered just as the credits rolled.

"Did you two have fun?" She asked.

Loki rolled his eyes and grabbed his book. "It was a blast." Darcy told her. "Have I mentioned that I hate being ill?"

"Maybe, I don't really listen." Jane said. "I brought pizza."

"Wow bit late for the food we asked for." Darcy said.

"You both look better." Jane said. "And I think we're getting somewhere with the research. I was on the phone to Erik and he sent over some notes that I think you ought to have a look at tomorrow."

"I can hardly wait." Loki answered dryly.

"You will be back in tomorrow, won't you?" She asked.

"Yes." Darcy replied firmly.

Jane laughed. "What? Your day was that bad?"

Darcy looked at Loki. "Nah it was actually kinda fun."

"Speak for yourself." Loki grumbled next to her.

She nudged him with her elbow. "God of lies." She reminded him in a whisper. She thought she saw him smile from the corner of her eye but was too busy looking at Jane. "Now pizza?"

Jane took a slice and brought the rest of the pizza over to them.

Darcy took the biggest piece and handed he box to Loki but he shook his head. "You have to eat." She told him.

He ignored her and returned to his book.

"I'm going to go work in my room." Jane said. "I'll see you later."

When she left, Darcy leant back against the arm of the sofa and prodded Loki's leg with her toe. He glanced up, surprisingly unperturbed by her touch. "Why aren't you eating?"

"I'm not hungry." He said as though it were obvious.

"When your brother was here I think he only stopped eating so that he could smooch Jane." She pointed out.

He smirked. "In case you haven't noticed, there are more than a few differences between Thor and I."

She narrowed her eyes. "Your humour will not save you now, God of Mischief." She said ominously. "Eat."

Never had she seen a look which read "bitch, please" so blatantly before. "You won't get better if you don't eat."

"I'm touched by your concern." He replied curtly but he relented and picked up a slice, giving it the same disgusted look he gave the soup.

"Nope, you so did not just give that filthy look to pizza." Darcy said.

"I think I actually preferred the dungeons." He said, grimacing as he took a bite so small she didn't know how he could taste it.

"You're weird." She told him.

"Yes," He replied. " _This_  is what makes me abnormal."

She laughed and he smiled. In the back of her mind was a small voice reminding her that this was not right. That she ought to be running away, petrified. But something about it felt so ordinary, not right exactly but as if there could be no suggestion it was wrong. She felt utterly comfortable. She didn't know if it was because he was so...complex that he made her feel normal or just because they got along but it was as though they'd been best friends since childhood. She decided she liked ill Loki.

He was watching her with a slight smirk playing on his face. "What?" She asked, feeling a ridiculous blush creep into her cheeks.

He shook his head, the smirk stretching slightly.

"You're a jerk." She said, throwing the nearest pillow at him. He batted it away lazily.

"You might have mentioned that." He said. "But I've been called worse."

He meant it jokingly, she knew that but she couldn't help over analysing everything he was saying and that last sentence seemed to hang heavily in the air.

"How're your marks?" She asked.

The mood perceptibly changed. "Why?" He asked with hostility.

"Because I care, Frost Brain." She said, then added hastily. "Besides, we're magically connected, who knows if I'll wake up with them."

He scowled. "They're fine." Her eyes wandered to the scar that jutted across the top of his eye, remembering that that was with magic healing and Asgardian immunity.

She was about to ask to see them but didn't see how any change in them would make her feel better. "So have you seriously never been ill before?" She asked him, to change the topic.

He clearly noticed the intent of the question because he arched an eyebrow at her before answering. "Not since I was a child. We have illness on Asgard but I control it with magic."

"And what, you can't anymore?" She asked. She thought she saw something change in his face, an imperceptible tightening of his muscles before he relaxed them again.

"I did not factor the link with you into the spell." He told her smoothly.

"Spell?" She repeated. "God, you've been reading too many fantasy books."

"You have quite the collection." He said with a smirk.

"Yeah well, come on." She said, standing up.

"Where?" He scowled.

"We're ill. Early night." She said, grabbing his hand. "Bed."

"Mortals really aren't my type." He joked, allowing himself to be pulled up.

"Ha ha." Darcy deadpanned. "Your room. Now."

"Are you always so bossy?" He asked as she pushed him up the stairs.

"Yes." She answered. Loki shrugged. "Now sleep," She said when she was outside his door. "If I'm still ill in the morning it will be your fault and I will not be happy."

"A truly terrifying prospect." Loki mocked, closing his door and leaving Darcy wondering what the hell had happened that day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Mayday Parade's Happy Endings Are Stories That Haven't Finished Yet. Hopefully that song title will not be a reflection of this fic... I wrote this chapter to get me through writer's block but I decided I could work it in to the plot.


	9. The Boys You Do

Like magic, Darcy's cold was gone in the morning, leaving her with just the feeling of being drained that only came from illness. Nonetheless, she woke for possibly the first time with a smile on her face and went gleefully to wake Loki.

Over the next few days they didn't really speak much, both of them being so busy at work. Well Darcy being busy at work, Jane rushing her around. If anything, the more Jane whined, the less Loki worked.

On Friday, Jane had gone up to her room to work. Darcy was alternating between reading and listening to her iPod, too exhausted to do either one for long. Loki sat in the corner, reading in his armchair.

The doorbell rang and Darcy scowled. Her first thought was annoyance at whoever was there, her second that no one ought to have been able to get past the guards anyway. The number of guards had dramatically reduced to just five, one for each side of the house and one to monitor camera footage, but either way they should have stopped whoever it was.

Loki seemed to reach the second thought quicker than she did because he raised an eyebrow at her. She shrugged and got up, folding the page corner to mark her place.

"Adam!" She squeaked when she opened the door.

"Hey," He grinned revealing a row of brilliant white teeth. His brown hair was in its usual messy mop and his blue eyes sparkled at the sight of her. He was wearing a blue printed t shirt and jeans with a brown blazer thrown over the top with his hands in his pockets to get that "I'm not actually making an effort to look so hot" look. Most people who found him on their doorstep would not have reacted with the dread that Darcy felt.

All she was aware of however was the fact that her hair was twisted into a messy bun, she was wearing a jumper so old she'd picked holes in the sleeves and that she'd taken her make up off the moment she got home.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, not intending it to come out so harshly.

"We...we had plans..." He stuttered, his prior confidence utterly disappearing.

Darcy suddenly remembered the existence of their movie night. "Right," She covered, smiling up him nervously. "I just meant you're early."

He ran a hand through his hair. "I'm uh, ten minutes late."

"Uh yeah," She said through her gritted teeth as she continued to force a smile. "I thought we said, half past."

"Oh," He said, then after a second. "I can come back?"

"No!" She said hurriedly, grabbing his wrist and pulling him in. She was surprised when he didn't flinch at her touch and realised she'd just become accustomed to Loki doing so. Then she worried at how much she'd been touching Loki to get used to him. "Just give me a moment."

She bolted to her room, pulled her hair out of the bun and slapped some lipgloss and mascara on- her bare basics to achieve the "no makeup" make up look. Then she dashed back downstairs, figuring she'd been gone a few seconds.

"Hello," She said, happily, sliding into his side, him thankfully taking the hint to put his arm round her shoulders as she wrapped hers round his waist. She could feel the tight muscles under his shirt. He was so aesthetically perfect it was almost boring and she thought suddenly of Loki whose striking features were truly gorgeous, like the statues from a time when men looked like Gods.

 _Woah_ , she thought,  _where the hell had that come from?_  It wasn't like she didn't know Loki was attractive, of course he was, it was just that looking at him resulted first in thoughts of what he had done, then on his personality flaws and then on forcibly reminding herself of his merits so that she never actually arrived on the "he's fucking gorgeous" stage of analysis. And mostly he annoyed her too much to even consider this.

She shook her head, telling herself that she was only comparing him to Adam because she'd been spending so much time with him. She stretched, because he was tall and she was short, to kiss his cheek. She smiled slightly in endearment as he blushed.  _Hot and adorable_ , she thought.

She had managed to forget that Loki was in the living room as she went in with Adam. His eyes lifted from his book to her and then to the arm around her shoulders, the man whose arm it was and finally back to her, betraying no emotion whatsoever.

"Ah sorry," She said to him, momentarily flustered. He stood up. His eyes on her were intent though expressionless. "Uh, this is Adam."

His lip curled into an amused sneer. "I see," He walked past her, not looking at Adam.

"Be nice!" She scolded him. He smirked and left. "Jerk." She muttered.

Adam looked terrified. It was kind of amusing watching everyone be scared of Loki.

"That," He said. "Was scary."

Darcy snorted. "Loki? He's harmless."

He gave her a disbelieving look. "Harmless? He razed New York."

"Yeah but he can't do that anymore."

"Can't but not wouldn't." He pointed out.

"I don't know..." She said awkwardly, she just didn't really get a destructive vibe from Loki. He was looking at her like she'd said something absurd. "Not defending him." She added hastily. "He's up to something, just not a world domination 'something.'"

He smiled at her. "You seem to know him quite well, I don't have anything to worry about do I?" He joked.

She winced and felt her features pull themselves into a look of disgust. "Loki?" She uttered. "That's disgusting, he's not even my species. There're probably laws about it."

"I don't know," He said, moving onto the sofa. Darcy sat next to him. "The guy just gives me the creeps."

Darcy snickered. "The creeps?"

Adam smiled slightly, a self conscious grin that made her want to kiss him there and then. "You know what I mean. Don't you get scared he'll murder you in your sleep?"

"Nah, I think he's terrified of getting the hulk treatment again." She felt a slight stirring of guilt at mocking Loki when he wasn't there, even if it was a joke. She had a thing about not bitching about her friends and given that Loki was practically a roommate she supposed the rule had now extended itself to him.

"Fair enough, I didn't come here to talk about him." He said, then looked at the ceiling with fake terror. "I'm just going to try to forget that he's here."

"Yeah well it's Jane you need to worry about," Darcy joked. "If we're so loud that she can't do science...well I think I'd rather take the hulk."

He laughed. "I've seen Fury without his morning coffee, I think I can handle her."

"You see Fury a lot?" She asked, bringing her legs up on the sofa so that her feet grazed his hip. It was kind of nice to be this comfortable near someone. Jane was barely ever around anymore and with Loki there was always that hyper awareness of herself. With that came a mental reminder to email her friends from college because only being around Jane and Loki was really not going to do wonders for her mental health.

"Not really." He replied with a shrug. "I mean he rarely stays in one base for over a week and we're not exactly the most crucial department." He said it with nonchalance but there was a slight sparkle in his blue eyes when he spoke about work. The same kind Jane got talking about physics. And that Izzy used to-

She stopped herself, attempting to push that thought away. She had successfully managed to avoid thinking about her for a while and she wasn't going to start again now.

"How is work?" She blurted before she started crying, she could feel the pressure building inside her chest like she'd explode. She needed air.

She forced herself to focus on the rhythm of Adam's words and breathe slowly. "Kind of busy lately," He shrugged. "The Rising Tide keep trying to leak information, it's all we can do to track it down and stop it. I don't know how they're getting it."

His words were a raft and she was drowning. "The Rising Tide?" She asked, clinging to the fragmented words.

"This conspiracy group." He explained. "It just doesn't stop, they're relentless."

"Like the tide?" She suggested, feeling her heart beat slow.

"Exactly." He said bitterly.

"What do they want?" She asked.

He shrugged. "Something about them hating us keeping secrets. They want to release it all to the public."

"Secrets? Isn't that what the S in SHIELD stands for?" She joked.

"It may as well," He sighed. "They're a nightmare."

"Wait so they're like, an actual serious threat? Not just some group that will be gone in like, two seconds?" She asked, suddenly wary.

"I wish." He said. "They're pretty big and rather successful."

"And all information they get, they release to the public?" She asked.

"Well yeah, it's like the whole Iron Man thing. We were blocking the transmission of that footage, we had a team ready to go in and wipe the memory of the press but the computers blacked out. By the time we got them back up, the news was out. Tony Stark's 'I am Iron Man' was everywhere." He said.

"So hidden information like the real person who caused the Battle of New York...and that person's location..." She trailed off.

Adam's eyes widened in understanding. "Oh god no. I mean. Oh no, even they wouldn't...look that information is really secure..."

"You don't sound very confident." She said half nervously, half with amusement to calm him down while her own heart raced again.

"If they released that..." He ran his hand through his hair and she felt a stir of annoyance. Couldn't he leave his damn hair alone? Then he swallowed. "I mean, it would be okay for you, they'd just have to move Loki into hiding."

She shrugged. "True." She murmured while inside she was panicking. If this Rising Tide group got that information she'd have to go into hiding with Loki. Every single person on the planet would be after Loki's head. And if they found out that an easier way to kill him would be to kill her...She pushed the thought away. There was no point dwelling on what ifs. Though she still couldn't shake the feeling of panic that was clawing at her throat.

She reached her hand out and took his. It was sort of clammy but she didn't care, she just needed to know that he was real and warm and she wasn't alone.

He grinned at her and she crawled over to him so that she was nestled back under his arm with her head on his chest. He seemed kind of tense at first but more in a "I don't do this a lot" kind of way rather than Loki's "Please don't do this again or I'll be forced to kill you" way.

At least Loki would understand why she was suddenly so scared.

And if Loki were here she wouldn't be. She'd be angry at him for putting her in this situation.

"So how are you?" Adam asked, utterly unaware of how much she wanted to laugh at that question.

"Oh you know," She said, kind of shakily. He didn't seem to realise anything was wrong. Even Loki was more perceptive of emotions. "I could be worse, given that I'm living with an insane mass murderer." This time it felt good to insult him, given what his presence meant for her. Sh was suddenly very aware of just how much danger she was in living with him and, yeah, she was scared.

"Well I knew Jane liked science but..." He joked nervously. She smiled slightly, something about his nervousness stopped her from relaxing.

"Have you always been this funny?" She asked him, expecting an arrogant reply back.

"Maybe?" He suggested awkwardly. She grinned at herself, glad that she'd managed to find someone who didn't act like Jane or Loki. She really needed a break from that insanity.

 _Then why won't you stop thinking about them?_  A voice in her head asked.

 _Shut up._  She told it, inhaling Adam's smell of cologne. It was a little overpowering, like he hadn't been out in a while and had forgotten how much to use but comforting nonetheless, like the guys she knew in college who used to bathe in it night and day. Being with him was like being back on the sofa in her dorm watching Lord of the Rings marathons. But then she thought of her last lord of the rings marathon and that had been kind of nice and- no. She stopped herself.  _Stop thinking about all this stuff_ , she thought, God, couldn't she just relax for five minutes without her stupid thoughts interrupting?

She looked at him, trying to focus on what was real. It was a trick she'd learnt a while back, to focus on the tiniest details like the way the thread holding the buttons onto his jacket was fraying or the one strand of his hair which seemed to flick in a different direction to the rest. All she could really think was how attractive he was.

"How come you're single if you're so hot?" She blurted before realising that was probably too direct for most people. Then again she wasn't exactly known for her discreteness.

"Um-" He said uncertainly.

"That was rude, wasn't it?" She asked, biting her lip and wondering if anyone else could make people feel so uncomfortable. "No wait, it was a compliment. So answer."

He laughed nervously. "Well unsurprisingly girls don't really care for guys who'd rather play video games than go to parties in high school. As soon as I left high school I was snatched by SHIELD so no real dating opportunities there."

"And then I come in and you hear angels sing and it's like every prayer and wish of yours has suddenly been answered? Yeah, I get that a lot." She joked receiving only a smile in reply. "So where were you living before SHIELD hired you?" She asked to cover the silence, the words feeling uncomfortably large on her tongue, she just wasn't used to being so formal.

"Indiana." He answered. "I guess I'm pretty far away."

"You get homesick?" She asked, picking at her nails absent-mindedly.

"Not really," He replied. "I miss my sisters and mom. That's about it. Not many memories surrounding the place, you know? I only really  _existed_  there."

"And your dad?" She asked, interested. She loved learning things about people. It was like every fact you learnt about someone was a puzzle piece and the more you learnt the more you could see of them.

He shrugged. "Parents divorced when I was young. Didn't see him again." He said it like it was no big deal and she believed that it wasn't. He didn't care. How nice for someone to not have daddy issues, she thought absently.

"What about you?" He asked. "I feel like we're only talking about me."

"Believe me, I'm boring." She said quickly. "I'd rather know more about you. Favourite book?"

"I don't read." He replied. "And come on, tell me about your family."

"I have a better idea," She said, grazing his thigh gently with her hand and tilting her head to look up at him. His eyes widened in understanding and slight, unsurprisingly, nervousness. He went to run his hand through his hair and she knocked it away, reaching up to kiss him while wondering why. He. Could. Not. Leave. His. Hair. Alone?!

His lips moved clumsily with lack of practice, mirroring her movements as though uncertain of their own. She'd had better kisses when she was thirteen. She pressed her lips to his more forcefully so that he fell back, almost lying on the sofa. Her hands went round the back of his neck, tickling the hair on the back of his head.

His hands found her hips, her jumper riding up so that he was touching her bare skin and she felt nothing. She moved so that her legs were straddling him and the kiss lengthened, becoming more intimate.

Still nothing.

Well, nothing from her at least. Adam however, judging from the pressure on her leg, was definitely aroused.

She pulled away. Her options, as she considered them were physical distraction in the form of Adam or being trapped by her thoughts. She pulled his hand with a mischievous grin and dragged him stumbling to her bedroom.

"I'll be two seconds." She whispered in his ear as he entered. She walked over to the electricity cupboard. She couldn't see a camera but she knew that SHIELD would have some way of hearing. She'd stumbled across the right wires a week ago. She was quite good with electronics, one of the reasons she'd been able to hack SHIELD and she'd recognised the wires immediately.

"I'm cutting the wires for my room." She said. "I think you know what's going on and I am certainly not letting you watch it."

She yanked the corresponding wires out of their sockets. She rushed back to Adam before her thoughts could catch up with her.

They spooned for a while once they were done but eventually Adam whispered that he had to go so they got dressed and she walked him to the door.

"I'll see you soon." He said, kissing the top of her head. She nodded blindly.

She shut the door behind him and leant back against it. She really liked Adam, she had for months but she'd never had a date so bad before. It was partly her fault she supposed, for thinking of all that...stuff. And she might not be a horny teenager anymore but she was fairly certain when a guy so far off the attractiveness scale kisses you, you're supposed to do more than endure it. The sex wasn't bad exactly, she'd had worse but...well it wasn't winning him any favours with her.

"Forgive me if I'm wrong," Said a snide voice from the top of the stairs. She opened her eyes and snapped her head up to face him. "But I'm fairly certain that's not the correct response to...an engagement."

She rolled her eyes. "Have you been stuck in your bat cave all this time."

He glared at her. "I believe you were busy in there, I'm really not the sort to watch. Though wait until we get the connection to Asgard working, my brother will be more than happy."

She pulled a face but she was too disappointed with her night with Adam to be convincing. "You're disgusting." She was about to ask if that was why Odin disowned him but changed her mind. They were only joking, that topic kind of surpassed that. "You finish the book?"

She asked as he reached the bottom of the stairs and they went into the living room. "Yes." He replied.

"What did you think?"

"It was better." He said, not sitting down but leaning against the wall.

"Better?" She asked astounded, walking past him and into the kitchen. To her surprise, he followed. "Better than The Lord of the Rings?"

"Yes." He replied in the same matter-of-fact tone.

"Explain, Frost Brain." She demanded, poking him lightly on his leather clad arm and walking over to the fridge. She saw insulting her favourite books as an offense on herself.

"It was more...informative." He said slowly.

She opened the door and pulled out the half empty bottle of wine. "Informative?" She asked giving him her best disbelieving look. "It's fiction."  
He shrugged. She rolled her eyes again, figuring that it wasn't worth explaining things like that to an Asgardian. She still remembered Jane telling Thor about the TV.

"Wine?" She asked him, pulling him a glass out anyway.

"Wine?" He repeated. She had her back to him as she poured it out and suddenly wondered when she became so relaxed around him that she could be in a room without keeping an eye on him. Even in the lab her eyes followed him occasionally. The revelation made her hand jerk with the wine so that it almost spilt when she poured it.

"It's a drink, genius." She said, filling the glasses generously.

"I know what it is." He snapped. "I'm questioning why you are getting it out at this time of night."

"Because I just had an awful date with my kind of sort of boyfriend and it is Friday night and I am under house arrest thanks to a certain Asgardian and his certain magic spell and I have not been out in far too long and Jane is too busy sciencing to do anything so I want to have some expensive wine but because SHIELD don't pay me enough I'm going to settle for this." She said rapidly, pushing a glass at him. "So drink it."

He took the glass and looked at it with his usual scepticism. "It astounds me that you still believe I care about your mortal problems." He said. Normal Loki was back then.

"Well you asked." She pointed out and raised her own to her lips, taking nervous sips despite wishing to take long gulps. She winced at the bitter taste. "God that's nasty." But she smiled slightly anyway, once again being reminded of when this wine was seen as a luxury. She was truly feeling the effects of graduating a year early. She'd missed out on a whole year of college parties to spend time in labs.

He looked at it like it had insulted him before he drank any. "Well it's possibly the worst wine I've ever had but given that I haven't had it in years, I'll take it."

"No wine in prison?" She joked.

"Of course not, only mead." He replied with a smirk. "For the hardened criminal."

"I have to admit," She said with a smile. "The idea of you surrounded by thugs is kind of hilarious."

"Yes well I'm sure they all thought so." He ran his finger absent-mindedly around the rim of his glass. He had nice hands, she thought, long and elegant.

She glanced up at him and saw him watching her intently. She suddenly realised how close she was standing to him and took a hasty step back so that she was leant against the counter opposite him. "When are you going to talk about what happened there?" She asked sincerely, she could see it killing him. She didn't want to keep bringing it up but every glance at him was answered with his pain. She supposed it was the scar across his eye though she knew it wasn't.

"I had no plans to." He answered calmly, taking another sip of wine. His green eyes were surprisingly intent upon her. Or maybe she was just slightly more aware of them than normal.

"You shouldn't keep stuff like that to yourself." She said.

"First you tell me to get over it and now you want me to talk about it?" He asked with a smirk.

"Yeah well at first you were a jerk, I didn't want to know. But now...well you're still a jerk but you're my...well problem so yeah."

"So articulate." He mocked.

"Yeah well that's me." She raised her glass and drank. "Not all of us can speak Shakespeare."

"Who?" He asked.

"Nevermind." Darcy muttered. "Wow, I forget how little you know."

He raised an eyebrow. "Some of us were a little too busy defending the nine realms to pay attention to Midgard."

"You?" She asked. " _Defending_ the nine realms?"

He didn't answer, lost in thought as he continued to spin his finger round the glass. His smile was gone and she sensed a sudden coldness. She felt a stir of annoyance. Why did he always do this? Sooner or later he'd turn cold and stop responding. It was like he couldn't quite decide how he wanted to behave. She figured he'd spent so long acting he didn't quite know what to do with himself.

That or this was all a huge act while he worked on some grand scale plan for world domination.

The thought of the latter was enough to remind her of what he'd really done. Battle of New York. She reminded herself, true she forgave him for that but that didn't change the fact that his personality, him, him without being under SHIELD's control was a raging lunatic. That's who he really was. She was so sick of these stupid guys and their stupid pretences.

"I'm going to bed."She said, drinking the last of her wine. He didn't even look up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from The Summer Set's The Boys You Do (Get Back At You). Bit of a long chapter, not the best but necessary and sorry sick Loki had to go, I'm sure I can drag a bit of his personality back soon. Thanks for reading and the reviews.


	10. Somewhere In The Smoke

"You want to do what?" Matt asked, his voice rising in disbelief.

Darcy put her hands stubbornly on her hips and glared at him. "I want to learn self defence." She repeated.

Matt's eyebrows rose so that they were underneath his curly black hair. "Darcy, you're like five foot."

"Five foot four." She corrected quickly. "And your point?"

"My point is that you're not exactly intimidating." He said. She narrowed her blue eyes at him.

"I'm asking you to teach me how to defend myself, not how to attack." She said.

"But you barely passed the mandatory class." He pointed out. SHIELD made them take a basic class in martial arts when they first joint. Darcy and Jane had passed only because they desperately needed Jane's research. "And you have a taser!"

She crossed her arms. "Look, if you don't want to teach me, I'll find someone else to."

He looked round. They were in the hall outside Jane's lab. No one else was in the hallway, they barely bothered to guard Loki much anymore, just the guard at the end of the hall who in this case was Matt.

Nonetheless, he reached his hand out and guided her by the elbow to the side of the wall. "Why do you want to do this?" He said, his voice lowered.

"I just want to know." She said.

"Bullshit." He replied bluntly. "You hate exercise. You only went running to pass the fitness tests. What aren't you telling me?"

She looked round and caught Loki's eye for a second before he looked away, pretending like he hadn't been watching. She almost rolled her eyes. For a god of lies he really wasn't the most subtle.

"I had a date with Adam on Friday and-"

"What he tried to...?" Matt started, so furious he could barely get words out.

"No!" Darcy said, realising what he was suggesting. "No! Nothing like that, it's Adam for Christ's sake."

Matt crossed his arms annoyed and glowered at her expectantly. After dealing with Loki's glares, Matt's just seemed kind of cute.

"Well anyway," She said in the same hushed whisper. "He mentioned something about this group...the rising ocean or something."

"The Rising Tide?" He asked.

"Yeah them. Anyway apparently they've been releasing loads of information and I figured if they got hold of the stuff about Loki then I might...well defence lessons suddenly seemed important."

He scratched the back of his neck. "Darcy..." He sighed. "Look, I agree if it gets out it'll be bad but I can hardly turn you into the Black Widow."

"I'm not asking you to." She hissed.

"Fine." He relented at last. "But if we're doing this, we're doing it properly."

"Yay, thank you." She said with a grin, leaning up to peck him on the cheek.

"I mean it, Darce." He said, holding her shoulders firmly to keep her from jumping up and down. "You turn up to every practice and you try."

"That's fine." She said, smiling.

"And I don't know what you're going to do with your little Asgardian pet who, by the way, has not stopped glaring at me for our entire conversation." He said, quickly glancing over her shoulder at him. "Bring him along, I really don't care but he has to behave."

She raised her eyebrows at him, impressed. "I think you're the first person who isn't scared of him."

"Oh I'm terrified." He said seriously. "But I figure I have to at least be braver than Dan. He hasn't got within three feet of him."

Darcy laughed. "Yeah well Dan's a bigger Jerk than Loki is. And don't worry, the latter I can handle. He'll be on his best behaviour."

"I wish I could see how you plan on making him do that." Matt said with a slight grin, making him look even more pixie like than normal. "See you tomorrow. Don't be late."

"I won't." She replied, turning her back on him and returning to the lab.

Jane glanced up as she entered before returning back to tapping on the computer. Loki ignored her, the hypocritical idiot.

"Yo jerkface." She called to him. He looked up curiously, like he hadn't just been watching her like some crazed stalker.

"Jerkface?" Jane repeated from the other side of the room.

"Yeah, not my best." Darcy conceded without looking away from Loki who was looking at her with polite curiosity with just a hint of annoyance. Damn he was a good actor, even she was questioning whether he'd heard.

"Anyway," She continued, arms crossed. Jane was watching them still. "We're staying late tomorrow, my friend is teaching me how to fight so you have to come too. If you act like...well yourself, then I will hide my books."

He raised his eyebrows and leant back in the chair, clearly unimpressed. "Hiding books? Really? God of mischief, I think I might be able to find them."

"I'll lock them away."

"I can do magic."

"Fury will whoop your ass."

"For something such as books? I doubt it." He replied.

"Look, do you agree or not?" She asked, annoyed.

"Of course, I think it's a great idea." He answered. She stared at him astounded.

"W-w-" She stuttered and swallowed before glaring at him. "Then what the hell was all that for?" She asked and poked him angrily in the chest, not giving a damn about any of his injuries, in fact hoping it probably caused him to hurt.

He shrugged. "Your threats were abysmal."

Her mouth gaped slightly. "You're impossible." She muttered, shaking her head.

"Uh..." Jane said awkwardly from the corner. "If you two are done...whatever...can you get back to work?"

Loki raised an eyebrow at her challengingly. He'd do the work, obviously, but he liked to make Jane work for it.

"Please," She added, begging. Darcy wondered if she'd brushed her hair this morning. She swore the girl had two modes  _SCIENCE!_  and  _THOR!11!_  everything else was an afterthought, determined by whether or not it was necessary for the science or Thor obsessing.

"Darcy, can you email Banner? I need those notes on nuclear..." Darcy stopped listening, it wasn't going to make any sense to her.

"Yes ma'am." She replied jokingly and hurried to the computer.

They were in a practice room in the SHIELD compound. It was relatively small but empty giving Matt plenty of space to teach her and her plenty of room to mess it up. Loki was leaning in the corner with a smirk etched onto his stupid face. As if she didn't already know just how much she was going to fail this.

"Okay," Matt started. "well I've been thinking it over and you're no fighter."

"Thanks, Matt." She replied, arms crossed.

"Oh shut up, you know it's true." He said, seriously. "If you're ever in a fight or flight situation, you run. You get the hell out of there, okay?"

She nodded. She wasn't a bad runner. She wasn't particularly good either but she could see herself running a lot easier than she could see herself, say, in the middle of a fight.

"All right so I figured we'd work on that plan."

"What, you want me running laps?" She asked.

"I'd be able to tell you what I want you doing if you stopped interrupting me." He pointed out with a slight smile.

"I don't like you when you're all teachery." She scowled.

"Well then perhaps you should have asked someone else to teach you." He retorted. "And to answer your previous question, no, I'm not going to make you do laps but if you were serious about being ready in case you're attacked then you should probably start running again."

"I never stopped." She replied.

"When was the last time you went running?" He asked sceptically, his cocked eyebrow clearly saying that he already knew the answer.

"Pre major life drama." She replied.

"Exactly. Now unless that spell of yours is somehow stopping you getting on the treadmill, and I know you have one, I suggest you hop back on it." He said.

"Rude."

" _Anyway_ ," She could tell he was regretting the decision to teach her more with every second. "I figured if we're going with the assumption that you will run, we'd cover some moves to make you able to run if something is stopping you. So say someone grabs your wrist." He said, grabbing her wrist. "What would you do?"

"Umm, kick him in the balls?" She suggested.

"Yeah, I'm sure that's going to work on the Black Widow and The Cavalry and Maria Hill and-"

"Okay okay," She interrupted. "I get it. No balls."

"Right so what are you going to do?"

She was getting frustrated for some reason. She could see Loki's bored gaze on her. Somehow the lack of a smirk made him even more annoying. "Uh taser you?"

"Right but I've got your hand. You wouldn't have time to reach for your taser before I could flip you or whatever. You have to be ready to instinctually get me off." He said.

"Fine," She said, aggravated. "How am I supposed to do that then?"

"The weak point in my grip is where my thumb touches my finger. So aim for there. Jus t yank your arm really quickly down or to the side or wherever that gap is." He said.

She looked at his hand. His fingers met his thumb at the top so she just had to pull upwards.

She bent her arm, wrenching her arm free of his grip. However she had more momentum than she'd thought and ended up slapping herself in the face.

Matt laughed. "Right, I guess we've got some work to do."

For the next hour he taught her how to get free of various grips and holds. At the end, when he grabbed her round the waist from behind and she managed to twist him onto the floor, he grinned.

"Right, well you did surprisingly well given that you're...well you." He said, impish grin back on his face.

"Yeah well you were a surprisingly good teacher given that you're...well you." She mocked back.

"Yes well don't get too cocky." He told her. "We've got to practice so that you do that quicker and without thinking it through. Same time next week?"

"Yep." She said. He left through the door and she turned to Loki. "Wait here." She said, while she changed next door out of her sweaty gym clothes. She didn't worry about him wandering off, it wasn't like he could and they were surrounded by empty rooms so it wasn't like he could get any weapons or anything either.

When she emerged wearing her usual jumper, jeans and beanie ensemble he was leaning against the wall, exactly where she'd left him.

"Soo," She sang walking up to him, a giddy smile on her face. "What did you think?"

He raised an eyebrow. "That you lack spatial awareness skills."

"I do not!" She protested.

"You hit yourself in the face." He pointed out with the same bored tone.

"That was one time." She replied, holding her arm out. "Look, grab my wrist."

He rolled his eyes and lightly gripped her arm. Even through the fabric of her jumper she was aware of the change in pressure in the same way she'd be aware of a thousand bolts of electricity running through her. She pulled her arm away.

"Amazing." He said sarcastically.

"Won't be long until I can beat you up." She said with a smile and reached up to ruffle his hair playfully. He caught her arm tightly.

"Don't do that." He snapped. She pulled her arm away through the gap in his grip.

"Ha!" She told him. He gritted his teeth. "Come on, we have to collect Jane."

Jane had jumped at the opportunity to stay late at work SCIENCING!She was such a nerd.

"Wait." He said as she reached the door. She looked back startled. He never initiated conversation. Ever.

"What?" She asked, regaining her cool relatively quickly.

"About what that man said..." He started awkwardly. He even looked awkward. She felt her mouth start to gape slightly. Loki, the guy who when caught by the avengers asked for a drink, who threw Tony Stark out of a window and dropped his own brother out of a plane in a metal trap...looked nervous.

"Matt." Darcy told him. He couldn't just keep pretending all mortals were beneath him. Still, she said it softly, unable to muster her usual annoyance when she was so perturbed by his talking to her.

"Right," he said which again threw her because she was expecting a snide remark about how he couldn't care less. "About you thinking you might be attacked."

Something inside her dropped. She realised suddenly where this was going. "Yeah," she said with a tad more venom than she had intended. "Well I'll try not to, I wouldn't want to be an annoyance for you."

He looked confused for a moment. "I don't under-"" He said.

"No, I get it. You just want to protect your own back. Unfortunately for you that includes mine." She said hostilely. "Well, I'll try to make it easy for you."

"Darcy!" He snapped. "Will you let me finish?"

She narrowed her eyes at him and folded her arms, certain that the only reason she hadn't stormed away was because she was too busy fighting the shock that he'd used her name for the first time ever. To be honest, she didn't even think he knew it.

"Please," he said. Now he was saying please?! Was the world ending? "What did you mean by believing you may be attacked?"

She was about to make a sarcastic retort but she caught his eye. They were staring at her intently, nothing in them different from usual but suddenly she could read his face better. His eyes were pleading with her, masking what could only be fear.

Something in her gut twisted and she relented. "It's nothing to worry about."

"Tell me." And there was a touch of command to it.

She shrugged. "Just some of the information about us wasn't as secure as I thought. Apparently there's a group that's been trying to hack into it."

"That's all?" He asked, urgently.

"That's all." She confirmed. "Now will you tell me what's up? You're scaring me."

"Just promise me that if you hear something like this again, you will tell me." He said.

"I promise." She said. He looked relieved. "Now what's with all the dramatics?"

"It doesn't matter." He answered, reverting to his usual illusive self.

"Yeah right it doesn't! You can't just start turning all intense and dark worldly and then not tell me why!" She said to him in a slightly higher pitch than usual.

He ignored her and looked away. She bit her lip as he thought, remembering something. "When I said I was learning self defence, you said you thought it was a good idea. Why?"

He smirked, the usual grin that she wanted to slap off of his face. "So that I could stop worrying about you getting me killed by tripping over your own feet."

She could feel a blush rising to her cheeks. So there may have been a few bruises caused by her clumsiness over the past month... She shook her head, she wouldn't let him start an argument to change the subject. "Self defence wouldn't help with that, Asgardian." She reached her fist up and tapped him lightly on the head. "Or do you not have a brain up there?"

He sidestepped her easily, grabbing her arm and stepping close to her so that she could feel his breath on the top of her forehead.

"I will protect you." He said. "Do not doubt that."

She tried to think but her brain was swirling like someone had set her head on spin. It was just a reaction to any hot guy standing so close, she told herself.

However, she was after all Darcy. She opened her mouth and she could always rely on words to come out. Of course most of the time she wished they wouldn't...

"Aww that's sweet." She said jokingly. "But next time you say that you might want to make sure there's no magic connection that makes that remark incredibly selfish."

"I mean it." He said, letting her arm go. The thing was, she didn't doubt it. Loki would hardly make a comment like that as a joke. Of course he would protect her. And he would protect her almost as well as he would protect himself. It was just that he wasn't doing it because he liked her. She was little more than a meat suit harbouring a nerve ending for him. A useless extension of his body which was only ever a vulnerability, never actually desired.

His comments, other than making her feel secure and safe, made her feel more pointless than ever. They were a cruel reminder that no matter how much she convinced herself he was something like a friend, he would drop her in a heartbeat and probably murder her too if it wasn't for the magical block.

It did not matter, after all, that Loki spoke only to her in full sentences. That she alone had watched films with him or sat in comfortable silence and read with him. To him, she was at best a pet and at worst an insect, something unsavoury he wanted rid of sooner rather than later.

She felt blood rush to her cheeks and had to fight the urge to burst into tears. It was hardly the first time she'd felt more than irrelevant. After all, she'd worked with Selvig and Jane and they weren't exactly complimentary.

_So why did it hurt so much to feel like it with him?  
_

"What's wrong?" He asked, scanning her face worriedly as though the answer to his question might magically appear there.

"Nothing." She said.  _Remember_ , she told herself,  _you are only trying to find out why he is helping Jane, no attachments or anything_. If he was using her, she would use him right back. "Come on, let's get Jane."

She turned to the door. If only she could keep sight of what was important.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from The Gaslight Anthem's Boxer. I may have time for one more update before christmas but if not this might be the last one for a week or so. Thank you for the reviews.


	11. Just So Lucky

October was over before Darcy had finally come to recognise that it had truly begun. It extinguished itself in a torrent of rain and wind so strong that it rattled the windows of their home and made even the underground shelter of SHIELD drafty and humid.

It was one morning in the middle of November that the phone in their lab rang. The three of them looked up curiously, it was not the first time that someone had contacted them in the lab but they usually had to go through security on the computer before they were able to put them through to the phone.

"Ummm shall I get it?" Darcy asked curiously.

"No, I will." Jane said uncertainly, walking over to it. "Um hello?...what?...no way!" She was practically squealing with excitement now. Loki raised an eyebrow at Darcy and she shrugged in reply. "okay okay I'm coming." Jane finished and tapped the end call button.

"What was that?" Darcy asked.

"I've got to go." Jane said, running to the door.

"Yeah but what-" the door closed. She sighed. "Cool, thanks for explaining everything!"

Darcy shook her head in exasperation as Jane disappeared. Loki was bent back over the notes he was writing. A kind of cute quizical expression on his face.  _No, not cute_ , she reminded herself. She was having to remind herself quite a lot recently. She'd stopped thinking of everything Loki had done when she saw him and had started seeing only the sarcastic, arrogant guy that lived with her. She figured that could only be dangerous.

She bit her lip. She'd been waiting for an opportunity for a few days and now seemed as good a time as ever. She walked over to her handbag and pulled out the thick picture book inside.

Loki liked to work on the desk in the corner of the room but a few days ago Jane had spilt an odd mixture of chemicals there and seeming as it still smoked occasionally, Loki had taken to just spreading his work out on the middle table.

She stood in front of him for a few moments, wondering how best to go about it.

"I am sure you are employed for some reason other than to stare at me." He said without looking up from the paper.

"Yeah well at this point I'm employed to be your babysitter so it's all part of the job." She sat down in the chair opposite him. "So, listen, I've been reading this book for the past few days."

"Congratulations, I was not aware that you could read." He said, again without looking up.

"Do you have any mode other than sarcastic?" She asked. "Anyway. The book is about you."

At that he glanced up, albeit momentarily. He picked up a sheet of paper and started critically scanning it. "I see. Did you learn anything interesting?"

"Well it's funny you should ask." She said, trying to hide her smile. She pushed the open book in front of him. "It's a book on mythology and it says some stuff about you and well, I was just wondering...are you really the mother of horses?"

He looked up then from his work, eyebrow raised. "Excuse me?" He asked, affronted.

"Because look," She said, raising her hands in surrender. "whatever you choose to do is cool with me but like, dude, I used to love ponies and well, some things are better kept to ourselves. Self control, you might want to get some."

He raised his hand to his temples and started rubbing them.

She was properly giggling now. "So I guess what I'm saying is: Did you really fuck a horse?"

He gave her a look of pure loathing. "No I did not have sexual intercourse with a horse." He said as though the answer were obvious. Then again she supposed it ought to have been. He sighed. "Mother-of-horses used to be a generic insult on Asgard," He explained. "The same way your Fury says...what is it? Uh..."

"Son of a bitch?" She suggested. "Motherfucker?"

"Yes yes," He said hurriedly, "Either of those. Well one time when we were on Midgard I prevented a war from starting and Volstagg who had been looking forward to it called me it. I suppose a Midgardian heard and decided to spread the tale." He looked at her in annoyance. "Midgardians do believe whatever they are told, I hear."

"Yeah yeah, save it, horse-fucker." She joked.

He rolled his eyes. "Why ask for the tale if you do not care for the truth?"

"Because the lie is so much funnier." She answered. "One sec." She said, pulling her phone out. He returned to his work.

"Okay, once and for all. Did you give birth to a six legged horse?"

He looked up agitated. "I have told you-" Darcy pressed the button on her phone and the flash went off, startling him.

"Got it!" She said gleefully. "Sorry but I needed a photographic reminder of this delightful conversation."

He inhaled slowly. "Mortals." He said as though it were a huge insult.

"Why do you call us that, anyway?" She asked, smiling down at the picture of Loki's offended glare on her phone and thinking what a shame it was that she couldn't post that one on facebook. If her one of Thor got eighty likes, she could only imagine how many Loki would get. "Thor told me you die too."

"A slight difference of around five thousand years." He answered, annoyed.

"God, you're grouchy today." She said. "What do I have to do to make you happy?"

"Leave?" He suggested.

"Woah. De ja vu. You've only said that one like a gazillion times." She said.

"And still you do not understand."

"Yeah well look how cute you are." She said, waving her phone at him. "Do you practice glaring in the mirror because you really convey your hatred well."

"You know," He said calmly. "There is a race of elves on Alfheim who are famed for playing petty tricks on the villagers. Even they are not as annoying as you are."

"I feel like I'm supposed to be offended but I'm not the one that gave birth to a horse." She said, a hint of humour in her voice. "What about the other stuff? It says you're married. Who's Sigyn?"

"Who?" He asked, looking up from his work the way he sometimes did when reading, with a look that clearly said he was busy and didn't want to talk.  _Oh well_ , Darcy thought, she was having too much fun to stop.

"Uh here." She said, turning the page and reading. " _'In both the Poetic Edda and the Prose Edda, the goddess Skaði is responsible for placing a serpent above him'_  uh that's you. ' _while he is bound. The serpent drips venom from above him that Sigyn collects into a bowl; however, she must empty the bowl when it is full, and the venom that drips in the meantime causes Loki to writhe in pain, thereby causing earthquakes_.' Okay so horses and bondage. Any other kinks I should know about?"

Loki shook his head in exasperation. "Even your mortals' imaginations are pathetic."

"So it's not true?" Darcy found herself kind of happy for some reason. She knew the horse thing wasn't real but she thought perhaps the Sigyn stuff might be.

Not that it would have changed anything.

"Obviously not." He answered.

"What do you mean, 'obviously'?" She asked.

He smirked at her. "Do you not think if I had a wife she might be searching for me?"

"Well you've not exactly done things that make you perfect husband material." She pointed out. Loki rolled his eyes and deigned not to reply.

"I take it you never looked like that as a teenager either then?" She asked, pointing to the picture of the goblin like creature on the page. "I mean puberty can be tough but I doubt anyone as cut as you are could ever have looked like that." She realised what she'd just said and blushed furiously. How hard was it to just keep her mouth shut?

Luckily Loki was still writing and didn't look up. "Apparently crude portraits are all the human skill is able to produce." He said.

She scowled at him. "You insult species an awful lot-" for someone who is ashamed of his, she had been about to say but just thinking the words gave her a guilty kick to the stomach. She would happily say a lot of things to him but that was kind of below the belt.

"You are insufferable." He told her, drawing an effortless straight line across the page to connect two points. She liked watching him work, it was kind of pen porn compared to Jane's scrawls and her own messy loops.

"I try." She said happily. At that she heard the door open and looked over to see Jane walking back in. But she wasn't alone.

"Banner?" Darcy asked shocked. She'd never met the guy but they'd conversed a few times in emails.

"Miss Lewis." He nodded politely before his eyes fell on Loki. She looked at him too. He'd stopped working and was looking up with the expression of vacant boredom that filled his face when he was surprised or curious. "Ah," Banner said. "They told me you'd be here. I have to say I didn't really believe them."

Loki said nothing.

"Now we haven't really met. I mean, I heard the other guy did." Banner continued.

Loki smirked. "You still pretend that you and the creature are separate?"

Banner smiled slightly. "Well last time I checked I was definitely not a green monster."

Loki leant back in his chair. Darcy bit back a smile. He was a dick but he was a funny one. Plus it was nice to hear him insulting someone else. "You may pretend that he is not part of you but that excuses the horrors? You think that you are not still responsible for everyone that monster has killed? No. I think not. I see how it haunts you. No matter how much you joke you still picture the scenes and you know that you are the one responsible. You will never escape that. You can try to convince yourself otherwise but you are just as much a part of that thing as it is of you."

"Loki!" Jane said. "Enough."

Loki grinned even more. "Oh but it is the truth."

"Cute." Dr Banner said, utterly unperturbed. "But I think if that's true then I am the one that slammed you into the floor of Stark towers. You know that's the only bit Stark didn't fix? He practically framed it, maybe you can see it one day."

Loki snorted softly. Darcy kicked him under the table and gave him a "too far" glare. To her surprise he stopped.

"Now," Banner said, turning to Jane. "You think nuclear fusion might aid the portal?"

"No," Jane replied, pulling over notes. "I think it might be a part of it. You see when I add-"

She cut off at a knock from the door.

Matt was there, opening it at Jane's nod. "Oh uh," He said as he saw Banner. "Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt.

"Don't worry," Jane said. "What is it?"

"Oh well," He looked at Darcy. "I just thought I'd let you know there's a room on the eleventh floor free if you wanted to practice there."

"Now?" She asked, her mouth gaping open. Floor eleven meant weapons. She was trying to hide her excitement.

"Well yeah." Matt said.

"Cool, come on." She said to Loki.

He looked up at her coldly. "I'm busy."

"Nu uh. Come on, I'm going and so you have to."

"I don't have to do anything." Loki said.

"Fine, stay here. Excruciating pain when I leave and of course I'm sure you and Banner can practice your fighting skills." She pointed out.

He sighed and stood up. "You are ridiculous." He stated.

"Yeah, you've said." She said happily, looping her arm through his. He winced as she did so, out of more disgust than pain. The prod of pain she felt was a reminder that he really didn't like her. She kept having to remind herself of that. She was normally a pretty good judge of character but Loki didn't play by any of the usual rules given that, well, he hated everyone.

Matt led them down to floor eleven in silence as she nattered meaningless drivel to Loki that even she couldn't remember afterwards. She had bad enough verbal diarrhea as it was but silences with Loki fluctuated between being natural and comfortable and cringeworthy and painful.

Dan was on guard duty on the floor and stopped them.

"Are you insane?" He asked Matt. "You can't take...him down here!"

Matt sighed. "I've been in a room with him armed. Don't you think if he wanted weapons he could have got them by now?"

Darcy felt a rush of relief towards him for standing up for Loki. He hadn't exchanged more than a terse nod at the start of each session with him but here he was, pointing out to Dan what ought to have been obvious.

"That doesn't mean you can show him them." Dan said. "He might not have wanted them before but if he sees them-"

"Whilst I'm sure the Norse God is likely to be so awed by our impressive mortal array, given that he saw better last year, I'm sure you are more than competent enough to stop him." Matt said. Darcy grinned. Now Dan either had to admit that he wouldn't be able to stop him or let them through. Any sane guard would have replied with "are you crazy? Of course I wouldn't be able to stop him!" Dan's pride was far too big.

He looked at the three of them, from Darcy who was grinning to Matt and his fake innocent expression and finally to Loki who didn't even look like he was paying attention. Dan's eyes lingered for a moment on Darcy's arm entwined with Loki's before he nodded at them.

"Fine." He said.

"Oh you so did that on purpose." Darcy whispered to Matt as they walked down the hall. Unlike most in the SHIELD compound, the walls were metal rather than glass.

"I may have known he was on guard." Matt said, a sparkle in his mischievous eyes.

Darcy laughed. She was practically leaning on Loki now due to their considerable height difference. He hadn't pushed her off yet though so that was a plus.  
They stopped about halfway down the hall and Matt had to input some security passwords into a small tablet by the wall.

"Uh you cleared this with Agent Hill, right?" She asked. Given that Fury went everywhere, Hill was their official commander except for when Fury was in the compound.

"Yeah, you know how she is. The more training someone has the better so she was all for this."

The 'this' in question was a large room made of the same ridged metal that made up the hallway. Brackets along the far wall held a dozen different types of guns, crossbows and other weapons that she couldn't identify. She saw Loki looking at them, a hungry gleam in his eye though nothing else had changed.

He caught her looking and raised a nonchalant eyebrow. "No touching." She said jabbing a finger at him.

"You severely overestimate my respect for your weapons." He said in his usual sarcastic voice.

"Okay," Matt said, walking over to her before she could retort. "We won't have long so let's get started."

"Cool, what do I get?" She asked, eyeing the wicked looking weapons on the wall. She was rather attached to her taser but she was more than willing to trade up.

"Let's start with this." He said, picking up a rather pathetic looking pistol in comparison to the other stuff on offer.

It was a gun at least. "Cool, gimme." She said holding her hands out and grinning.

"Oh hell no," Matt said. "Not like that."

"Gim-me." She said, enunciating each syllable.

"Darcy," He said sternly. "We are surrounded by more weapons than you've ever seen in your life so can you please act like an adult for once."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "If you give me the gun."

Loki snorted. She threw him a quick glare.

"I'm trying to teach you how to do it properly." Matt said. He curled his fingers round it. "This is how you hold it, notice my finger is not actually on the trigger. Think you can try?"

She rolled her eyes but nodded. He gave it to her with an expression like he was handing a bomb to a child. He was waiting for it to explode.

The gun felt warm in her hand. Not really how she'd expected a gun to feel. It could kill. It ought to have felt cold and menacing and alien to her. Instead the grip and weighting made it feel like an extension of her hand that even someone as clumsy as her couldn't mess up. And most of all it made her feel powerful and she knew that that was wrong but she also knew that she was really enjoying it.

"That's..that's not bad actually." Matt said, appraising her.

"It's not exactly hard." She replied curtly.

"You'd be surprised." He answered. "Right um, the targets on the wall. I want you to aim for the middle one, see the barrel, you form a straight line leading to the target with that. And then you squeeze the trigger gently. The gun will kick back so you have to keep it steady."

She nodded and raised the gun. "Now?" She asked.

"Yeah." He said, with a voice so low it felt like he was just waiting for something to go wrong. "Just remember to turn the safety off."

She clicked the little switch and squinted slightly at the target. From the corner of her eye she could just see Loki watching her curiously. She squirmed slightly, she'd be bad enough without the added pressure.

"Okay," She breathed. She lifted the gun and aimed it at the target. She pulled the trigger as she inhaled. The gun slammed backwards, throwing her off balance as her bullet went flying into a metal corner and ricocheted off.

"Holy shit!" She had time to yell as Matt pulled her down to the ground. She gasped as she hit it, his arm coming up to covering her head. She heard the bullet clatter away and the hand let her go only when she looked up, Matt was lying opposite her, meaning the one who had pulled her down was Loki.

He was watching her now, the arm that had covered her head gone but his other still holding onto her arm.

"Are you all right?" He asked sincerely, the worry in his voice surprising her.

"That was..." She started shakily. "The most stupid design for a room ever!" She yelled, regaining her composure quickly. "Who the fuck designs a room to fire bullets that'll reflect them?"

"In their defence," Matt said climbing to his feet. "They probably weren't expecting someone as uncoordinated as you."

Loki helped her up, still looking at her with concern. "I'm fine." She hissed at him. She hated being looked at like a wounded puppy.

"I don't think someone with your co ordination could be classed even by the loosest definition of the word as 'fine.'" He stated in his modulated voice. Matt laughed. He had a surprisingly low but breathy laugh. He stopped himself looking shocked and looked at Loki appraisingly. She supposed it was the first time he'd seen Loki with...well a personality.

She was suddenly very aware of how bad that personality was.

Unfortunately, sarcastic dicks weren't appreciated by most people.

Not that she appreciated it but... she forced herself to focus on the gun.

"Okay okay, if you two are done. Jesus, you should be a double act. How am I supposed to fire a gun?"

"I think it would be best for everyone if you just didn't." Matt said grinning. Loki was kind of smiling too. Dear lord, if she had known they'd get along...

"You really want to taunt a girl with a gun?" She asked.

"If you're firing it I think we're fine." Loki said with a smirk. She hit his arm, a lot harder than she normally would but seeing as she didn't feel anything she assumed he didn't either. Stupid God.

"Honestly Darcy..." Matt said seriously and rather uncomfortably. "I don't quite know what to...I've never really taught anyone before and someone so...unique..." He trailed off a Loki moved over to her.

He stepped behind her and put his arms round her. She jumped about a foot. "Hey keep your hands to yourself!" She said. Instead his right clasped around hers and his left guided her other hand to the gun as well so that she was holding it in both hands.

His arms were around her. She was very aware of them.

"Allow me." He said, his breath tickling her ear and sending goosebumps racing down her back and setting her heart on accelerate. He raised her arms and lowered his head so that it was level with hers to focus her aim. "You need to aim higher to make up for your lack of height." He said.

"Huh?" She asked. She was certain that was an insult but the smell of his soap and leather and something vaguely minty was intoxicating, sending her mind spinning.

"Concentrate." He told her, sternly but with amusement.

"Right." She said, suddenly unable to say more than one word answers. Very unlike her. His hands were surprisingly soft.

"Do you find something about this distracting?" He practically purred in her ear, the humour in his voice saying he already knew damn well the answer. His taunting snapped her out of her daze.

"Absolutely not." She answered straightening up in his arms and gripped the gun a little tighter.

She pulled the trigger. This time the bullet went flying into the target, only just missing the bullseye.

Loki let his arms drop and she span round to face him, grinning.

"Great," Matt said. "So you'll be able to fire a gun if you have a Norse God handy."

"I like to think if I have a Norse God handy then I won't have to revert to firing a gun." She told him.

Matt shook his head. "Just try again."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from The Maine's Everything I ask For. Merry Christmas everyone, hopefully I'll be able to update again before New Year. Thanks for the reviews and just generally reading this thing.


	12. A Little Truth

Loki went straight to his room when they got home. Darcy felt strangely lonely with him gone despite the fact that she ought to have been used to that by now, he was spending more time alone.

"I can't believe Bruce came!" Jane squealed the moment they got in, collapsing onto the sofa.

"Oh so he's 'Bruce' now?" Darcy asked.

"He was telling me loads of stories about Thor when he visited."

"And when he didn't visit you."

"And he had some really interesting insights into the research."

"What's for dinner?"

"He thinks there is definitely a nuclear element involved."

"I am invisible."

"And he's staying for a few weeks to work on it!" Jane finished.

Darcy rolled her eyes. "If you're done fangirling-" She stopped as she heard a ringing come from her bag. "That's weird. I don't normally get signal here." Darcy said as she reached for her cell.

"I'm going to read over Banner's notes." Jane said, hopping up from the sofa.

"Don't forget you're cooking tonight!" Darcy called after her whilst resigning herself to the fact that she would have to end up making dinner again. She sighed. At least if she made it it'd be edible.

At last her hands found her phone and pulled it out.

"Hello?" She asked, not having had time to check the caller ID.

"Darcy!" The voice on the other end said. Darcy felt her stomach drop.

"Mom." She stated.

"Hello darling," Her mom replied. Darcy was strongly resisting the urge to fling the phone out of the window.

"Hi." She replied instead, walking into the kitchen. She headed straight for the fridge and pulled out the bottle of wine.

"Is that all I get?" Her mom said. "I haven't spoken to you in months and I get 'hi?'"

Darcy rolled her eyes and got a glass. "I'm sorry mother." She said sarcastically. "How are you?"

"Oh well I'm fine thank you for asking. We had a fundraiser at church last week which went very well. You would know that if you ever bothered to call in on us." She said. Darcy poured herself a generous glass and ignored her.

 _I'm fine too,_  she thought.  _Got shackled with a God who may or may not be utterly psychotic. Under house arrest. Whatever. Thanks for asking._

"Anyway, dear." Her mom continued. "I was just phoning to ask what time we should expect you on thanksgiving."

Darcy chocked on her wine. "W-what?" She stuttered.

"Are you eating?" Her mom scolded. "That's very rude, darling."

Darcy had to physically bite her lip to stop from retorting. "Thanksgiving?" She prompted.

"Yes, what time will you be here?"

"I can't come." She said quickly.

"What? You can't just not come. What would the neighbours say?"

"I don't really give a damn what the neighbours say, mother." Darcy replied unable to contain herself anymore.

"Darcy Lewis! Watch your language!" She answered.

"Oh I'm watching it. It's great." Darcy replied.

"I don't know what has gotten into you." Her mom said, annoyed. "Now why is my only daughter telling me she is not coming to thanksgiving?"

"I'm just really busy at work." She replied, ignoring the many sarcastic retorts that popped into her head.

"Your brother is coming all the way from California!" Her mom's shrill voice got even higher.

"Well that's great, mom. However I don't think Liam's journey is affecting how much work I have."

"It's ridiculous! You ought to complain. It's not like you're an important worker. They can't keep you from enjoying thanksgiving with your family."

 _I don't think enjoying is quite the word_. "Yes well I'm not coming."

"I can't believe you're doing this to us! I didn't raise you to be so selfish. Holidays are for family."

Having almost drained the glass of wine and on the verge of screaming Darcy decided to end the call. "Sorrry...I...I think...signal...going...shskihaiw" She hissed into the phone and hung up.

Her throat burned and her eyes stung but she refused to cry. Her mom hadn't said anything that bad but she always managed to make Darcy feel incredibly aware of just how worthless she was.

She'd been planning on going for a run but at that moment hitting the magical Loki barrier seemed like more fun. Instead she decided to make cookies. It was impossible to be sad when you had cookies, after all.

At the moment she finished mixing the dough, the doorbell rang. She looked up from the bowl expectantly, waiting for someone else to answer it before realising how low the odds of Jane or Loki answering the door were.

She checked her reflection in the window before she left. She'd had another generous glass of wine but the only sign was a slight redness in her eyes.

"Darcy." Adam greeted when she opened the door. Her eyebrows rose in response. She hadn't spoken to him in a few weeks.

"How are you?" He asked.

"Fine thanks, you?" She asked, somewhat awkwardly. She realised that she'd never actually told him that whatever thing they had was over. It was an unfortunate habit of hers, getting bored of boys.

The last thing she wanted to do right now was to officially break up. He was like a giant puppy.

"I'm...can we talk?"

Her eyes flicked to the side in confusion. "Uh we are talking."

"Yeah but..." His looked fleetingly at the guard. "In private?"

"Sure." Darcy said. "Um come in."

They walked into the living room. He went to sit in the arm chair.

"Not there!" She said, realising as she did so how silly she was being. It's just that that was Loki's seat, whether or not he had left his room in the last fortnight.

"Um okay." He answered, moving to the sofa.

"So what did you want to talk about?" She asked, leaning against the wall opposite him.

"Oh God." He said, running his hands through his hair. She felt a spark of annoyance. "Okay I'm just going to say it."  
She looked at him. She should have felt awkward, it sounded like he was breaking up with her, not that they were together but still. Instead, she just didn't care.

"Some of the guys at work were saying that you and Loki were...um...together." He said looking at her expectantly.

A few seconds passed and she burst out laughing. She carried on for a few moments, her sides ached and she clutched them, doubling over and unable to stop.

"Loki and I?" She asked. Tears were springing in her eyes.

"Yeah." He answered. She just about managed to calm herself down.

She couldn't imagine Loki liking anyone let alone romantically liking someone. The guy was too in love with himself.

"What did they say?"

"Just that you and he were quite close." He said, messing his hair up again.

"Well yeah we're friends." She said, the words sounding odd on her tongue but she knew they were true as she said them. It was a complicated as hell friendship but friendship nonetheless.

"Right but more than that." Adam said.

She looked at him sceptically. "And you believed them?" She realised she was getting angry. It was one thing for someone to say it as a joke but for people to actually believe it. For him to accuse her of what in his mind must have been cheating. She felt her hands curl into fists and hid them by folding her arms.

"Well..." He started.

"What because if Jane's fucking one brother I must be doing the other?" She suggested calmly.

"No!" He answered hastily.

She snorted. "Because only I would be stupid enough to fall for the villain?"

He didn't answer. Her words hung heavy in the air.

His silence was answer enough.

Something was clawing the inside of her throat but she wouldn't, she absolutely would not start crying in front of that dick.

"Get out." She said quietly.

"Darcy!" He said, getting up and walking towards her.

"Get out!" She shouted. "Get out of my house! Now!"

He looked desperate but he shook his head and left. She slammed the door after him and stalked back to the kitchen, grabbing her bowl of cookie dough. She didn't want to be alone. If she did she wouldn't be able to stop crying. The idea of going to Jane, however, didn't quite appeal. She wasn't the most sensitive person and she'd want to talk through what happened which was the last thing Darcy wanted to do.

She ended up outside Loki's door, horribly conscious of how odd it was she was going to him but knocking anyway.  
He opened the door, looking at her with confusion.

"Darcy wha-" He stopped as she squeezed under his outstretched arm and walked into his room. "Please, do come in." He added sarcastically.

She looked round his room, realising it was the first time she'd seen it. It comprised mainly of dark wood and green like it had been especially designed for him. The bed had been pushed into the corner as though sleeping were unnecessary, the bed itself tightly made and looking thoroughly unused. The desk contained a neat stack of papers and a Harry Potter book lying face down as though Loki had been in the middle of reading it.

She laughed. "Harry Potter? Really?" The idea of Loki reading it was just too hard for her to imagine.

"What are you doing here?" He asked from behind her. His room was so neat it made her feel guilty about her own mess. And that was nothing compared to Jane's.

"Something happened and I need you to use your sunny personality to cheer me up." She said, sitting on his bed and kicking her legs out.

He jutted his jaw out and looked down in exasperation. "How did I end up your designated entertainment?" He asked.

"Because Jane is busy sciencing."

"She always is." He said. "But that does not explain why you are here."

"Oh stop complaining, I brought cookie dough." She tempted.

"I dislike Midgardian food." He reminded her. She dug her spoon in and filled it with a huge blob of the dough.

"Yeah but this is like... _cookie dough_." She said as though this were answer enough in itself.

He sat down next to her on the bed, still looking at her in the half curious, half annoyed way that he usually did.

"Open up!" She sang, waving the spoon. He sighed in exasperation. Darcy felt the corners of her lips twitch. He took the spoon, his fingers brushing against hers for just a moment. He looked at it with slight disgust.

"How far the mighty have fallen." He said with fierce self hatred before sticking the spoon in his mouth. Darcy had to stifle a giggle, he was acting like it was poisonous.

"Calm down there drama queen, it's just cookie dough." She said with a slight lift to her voice. He chewed for a few moments with a look of silent concentration. Darcy had to bite her lip to stop from laughing. He swallowed with what looked like difficulty then turned to look from her to the bowl and back again.

"Perhaps," He said slowly. "You could stay for a few more moments."

She grinned and leant forward to snatch the spoon back. He scowled slightly at her. The look was amusing, kind of like a pout.

"What? You think I brought this all for you?" She popped a large spoonful in her mouth and held the spoon back out for him.

He took it sceptically and pulled more out of the bowl.

"So," She asked. "Harry Potter? Dreaming of getting your Hogwarts acceptance letter?"

He looked at her coldly, as though she had said something greatly offensive. Her skin burned under his angry gaze, making her want to grow smaller and smaller until she disappeared. Then he looked away as though ashamed.

"No," He said quietly. "Not quite."

 _Okay_ , she mouthed. His melodrama was exhausting.

"You called me Sirius Black once." He said after a few moments, looking at her with a slight smirk. "I believe I understand that reference now."

"Oddly appropriate." She said thoughtfully. "Yeah, that was a good one. Go Darcy!" She celebrated with another spoonful of cookie dough. "So you think you'd be in Gryffindor or?"

He smirked, the familiar sarcastic, self-depricating smile. She didn't realise how much she'd missed it while he'd been shut up in here. "By all Midgardian standards I'd be in Slytherin."

She shrugged. "I don't know, you could be in Ravenclaw. All smart and stuff." She shoved another spoonful into her mouth.

His eyebrows lifted so that he looked almost impressed. "I see. And you would be where?"

"Hufflepuff." She replied with certainty.

He grinned. "You could be Gryffindor, you know."

"Nah, bravery? I'll take the kitchens."

"It takes a certain degree of bravery to be here." He reminded her. She thought about that for a few moments. She couldn't even think of Loki as intimidating anymore. He was just an adorable sulky guy who lived with her.

She laughed. "Oh God I'm such a nerd. Hogwarts houses? Really?"

He took the spoon from her, the bowl almost empty.

"Oh well." She sighed. "I guess I ought to be allowed to talk about whatever I want seeming as I can totally fire a gun now." She gave him a slight smile. "How did you know how to fire one anyway?"

"Mind control over several SHIELD agents." Loki said casually, not looking up from the bowl. Darcy felt her eyebrows lift at his nonchalant answer but other than that just felt vague amusement that something like that was just normal for him. Of course Hawkeye would probably disagree. She swung her legs round and got up, walking over to his desk.

"Don't!" He said, as she picked up the nearest sheet of paper.

His notes were arranged the same way as his ones at SHIELD but these were all about magic. Scribbled ideas that she recognised from the books she'd leant him.

"Why are you taking notes on magic?" She asked through a mouthful of cookie dough. She swallowed and read some more. The notes were slightly messier than his SHIELD ones, with crossings out and scribbled annotations.

"Stop." He said, walking up beside her and putting his hand on hers to stop her reaching for another sheet.

His touch startled her and she turned to look at him. He was so close but for once it made her thinking clearer rather than more blurred.

"But you're like the master of magic. You can't expect to learn more through fiction." She said, the gears in her mind whirring quickly.

His eyes were bright with alarm, his lips tight and panic-stricken.

"Unless," She said quietly, the idea finally clicking into place in her mind. "You're starting from noth-"

His hand was over her mouth and he had spun her against the wall. She stopped in shock, too startled to even think about biting his hand.

"Enough." He hissed. He was leaning over her, using his height to his advantage as he glared menacingly down at her.

She narrowed her eyes at him questioningly. His hand was clamped around her mouth so tightly that she couldn't move, his other on her arm to keep her against the wall. Her heart was racing in fear. He looked murderous. He looked away quickly. She would have said it was guiltily were it not for the fact that it was Loki.

He closed his eyes slightly as though concentrating and she felt a sharp stab of pain go through her head. She tried to gasp in pain but his hand was still covering her.

He looked at her intently. "I've disabled the monitoring devices in this room but you must be quiet." He whispered seriously. "I am going to take my hand away now."

He lowered his hand slowly at the same time she brought hers up. Her slap broke the silence in the room like a clap of thunder. His head snapped to the side before turning back to her angrily.

"What the fuck, dude?" She hissed annoyed but still keeping her voice down. Her own cheek tingled slightly, shared pain that Loki felt. She cursed once again the fact that she couldn't hurt him more than that.

He brought his hand up curiously to his cheek and looked at her accusingly. "You hit me." He stated.

"You shoved your hand over my mouth!" She retorted angrily, fighting back the urge to swear so much even Fury would be perturbed. "Now, explain!"

He opened his mouth and closed it again, looking away awkwardly.

"Aren't you supposed to be the fricking silver tongue?" She asked him. "What, now you can't speak?"

He opened his mouth slightly, his eyes looking down in a look of such great sadness that she felt her fury start to ebb away and had to fight to remain angry.

"You can't do magic?" She asked, slightly gentler this time.

He turned away. "I can do magic." He said softly, the pain that had been in his face filling each syllable despite his evident fight to remain controlled. He stood motionless, his back to her as he continued. "I can do  _some_  magic." He corrected.

"Please," She begged, scared he would stop talking any moment if she stopped prompting him. "Can you pretend I'm like human and explain?"

He took a deep breath in, when he spoke his voice sounded steadier though strained. "My memories of magic were removed." He said, turning to her. She couldn't bring herself to move from the wall. "You cannot remove the ability to do, as you call it, magic. It is not a physical part of you that can be simply cut off, it is more like the blood. It flows through you."

He spoke of magic with a kind of reverence, a respect for it that she hadn't heard him have for anything else.

"The most that they could do was to take the memories." He said. "But creating illusions is equal parts logic and skill. My knowledge has been removed but the skill remains. In short, I can use magic clumsily, worse than I did as a child. It requires more thought and I can do nothing too complex."

His eyes finally met hers. She saw how much it was destroying him, admitting his weakness like that. She felt vaguely honoured that she'd been trusted with it. Darcy wondered how long it had been since he'd opened up to someone like that.

"That's why you haven't tried anything." She said, more pieces falling into place. "None of your crazy world domination stuff. You don't have the power."

Loki smirked and looked up in annoyance. "You think my brother would have sent me here if I did?"

"Okay but..." She trailed off, still trying to make sense of it all and wondering when having a rational conversation about magic became a part of her life. "You used magic before. That illusion with the spiders!" She pointed out, still not having entirely forgiven him for that one. "And just now with the monitoring equipment!"

He shook his head in shame. He looked so upset, she'd never seen him like that before. True on anyone else the difference would have been negligible, on Loki however the slight crease at his eyes and downturn of his lips were heartbreaking. She'd never expected to feel such sympathy towards him.

"Simple tricks." He said in disgust. "They ought not even need to be conscious. In my present state they exhaust me."

She recalled the pain she'd felt when he killed the recorders. The headache at the spiders. The fact that her and Loki had both been ill the next day...

"And you won't tell Fury?" She asked.

Loki laughed mirthlessly. "And he will of course help me to get my power back?"

"Well no but-"

"You won't tell him." He stated.

"Excuse me?" She asked, insulted. "I'll tell him if I damn well want to. You're still kind of public enemy number one. Technically, just talking to you kind of makes me a traitor to my own species."

"But you won't tell him." He repeated, this time with a slight smirk.

She thought for a moment, wondering where her sudden loyalty for Loki came from but knowing that it was definitely there. She was so screwed...

"No, I suppose I won't." She agreed reluctantly. "So who took your magic? Or your memories of it or whatever?"

Loki smiled and shook his head slightly. She found herself covering the few steps between them, her hand resting comfortingly on his arm. "My mother. Presumably at the same time she placed the binding curse." He said at last.  _Curse?_  Wow, that word stung a bit.

"Frigga?" Darcy asked, remembering Thor talking about her. "But I thought she was nice?"

Loki closed his eyes for a few moments before looking away from her and taking a few steps away. She waited a few moments to see if he said anything but he remained silent.

"You didn't tell me." She said, feeling rather pathetic the moment she said it.

He smirked up at her. "What is the Midgardian saying? What you do not know of me could fill a book?"

"Yeah well you can read it for me and make notes." She said, glancing over at the neat stack of papers. There were an awful lot of them. "Um...just how close are you to figuring out magic?"

He glanced at her. "You are still scared?"

"Of you having magic?" She asked. "Of course I am! You haven't exactly given up your plans of world domination."

"And let me ask you, Darcy Lewis," He said, advancing on her, his use of her full name too intimate, sending shivers down her spine. "If I did, what would  _you_  do?"

"I..." She managed. His eyes were locked on hers, to look away was to fail, to maintain contact was to suffer in defeat. "I'd stop you." She answered defiantly.  
He laughed. Not his usual self mocking laugh but a cruel, vindictive one which stabbed at her like knives. She fought the urge to flinch."What exactly would you do?" He was as close to her now as possible, her back arched against the wall, face looking up at him. Well they were either going to have sex of kill each other then, part of her brain thought. She wasn't sure which idea was more repulsive.

"Whatever it takes." She said.

"You ought to be careful, saying such things could be dangerous." His voice was low.

She couldn't hold up the seriousness anymore and broke into snorting giggles. Loki looked confused. "Oh come on!" She said, through laughter. "I'd probably just get the Black Widow. And besides, you can't get away with that intimidating 'fear me!' stuff anymore, like I just shared cookie dough with you."

He smiled with only one side of his mouth, a kind of exasperated amusement. "You are ridiculous."

"You've said." She agreed. "Now come on. You can't do magic, boo hoo. I can't do science."

"A slight difference." He pointed out.

She lowered her voice into a deep, appallingly bad English accent. "But you come from a place where they are one and the same."

Loki laughed and she tried desperately to hide the fact that his laugh was one of the most beautiful things she'd ever heard. Much nicer than the earlier one. It wasn't that she liked Loki in that way or anything, just that it was pretty damn hard to ignore the fact that everything about the guy from his chiselled features to his leather swathed figure hinted that he ought to be the God of sex not lies.

Darcy ignored all thoughts of how they could go from fighting to joking in seconds. Instead, they worked on a compromise that night, adding more things to the list of things they mutually but not consciously agreed not to talk about. Darcy didn't mention his lack of magic and it wasn't until she left his room well past midnight that she realised she hadn't thought about her mom or Adam. Despite his obvious flaws, she had to admit, he was a pretty good distraction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title from You Me At Six's A Little Bit of Truth. Writing to avoid the pain of Doctor Who...thank you for the reviews, some of them have been the nicest things I've ever read so thank you so much.


	13. Another Night Another Score

"Hey!" Darcy yelled, slamming her fist into his door. "It is morning so get your ass out of bed!" She smiled, waking Loki up was one of the only things that got Darcy through the morning these days.

The door swung open and she blinked up at him in shock. This was her first time knocking.

He was dressed already, or maybe that was still dressed as his pale skin had gone almost pallid and the shadows round his eyes made her own panda eyes look bare.

"Did you sleep at all?" She asked, squinting up at him in concern.

"I was busy." He answered, his eyes slowly taking in her crumpled up fluffy pyjamas, bed head and glasses. She felt a blush creep into her cheeks and pulled on the hems of her sleeves.

"Busy doing what?" She asked, trying to divert attention away from how she was dressed.

"It doesn't matter." He said. He leant against the edge of the door and raised a condescending eyebrow at her. "So do you always have hair like that in the mornings."

"Oh you would love to know." She joked before realising that she'd never jokingly flirted with Loki before like she did with everyone else and if possible his skin had gone even paler. "An..anyway," She stuttered trying to recover. "it  _does_  matter. Magical bindy thing." She gestured between them. "So what were you doing?"

"Drop it." He whispered, dangerously.

"But-"

"Leave it." He snapped, stalking past her. She was going to protest but ended up shaking her head in exasperation. It was too early in the morning for his mood swings.

Banner was still in the lab when they arrived. He nodded curtly to them and Loki migrated to his usual space. He'd been silent the rest of the morning, nothing out of the ordinary there but given their talk last night she thought maybe his month's silence would be over.

No such luck.

"Darcy!" Jane called, interrupting her from a very detailed doodle of a dinosaur.

"Yeah?" She asked, looking up. Her and Banner were in the corner and she was gesturing frantically for her to come over. Darcy pushed her glasses back up her nose, her conversation with Loki that morning meaning she had to skip putting contacts in.

"Could you come over here for a moment please?" Darcy scowled and glanced over at Loki who wasn't paying attention.

She walked over. "S'up?" She asked. She crossed her arms over her waist.

"Can you explain?" She asked, turning to Banner.

"Right," He said, turning to her. "Hi, I'm Dr Banner, I don't know whether I got a chance to introduce myself yesterday-"

Darcy waved him away. "Yeah yeah big green monster kinda hard to miss, I know who are." "Darcy!" Jane scolded.

"Sorry," Darcy said, turning to him, really not meaning it and not sounding like she did either. She was having trouble mustering her usual bubbly hyperness."Was that rude? She thinks I'm rude."

Banner laughed slightly. "I worked with Tony Stark, I think I can handle a few references to the other guy."

"Good to know," Darcy said. "So what's up?"

"We need to run a few in lab experiments. A little bigger than can be done in here. I'm told you're the person who can arrange that?"

Darcy shrugged. "Yeah sure, just write down what you need and I'll send the right emails." She turned to Jane. "Is that it?"

Jane lowered her voice into a whisper. "No um, Loki looks kind of tired. Like, especially so." Loki had looked progressively more exhausted over the month.

Better, without the wounds, but exhausted nonetheless. Today was evidently even worse.

"Yeah, so?" Darcy asked, blowing a bubble with her gum.

"Well do you know why?" Jane whispered.

"Why would I know?" Darcy asked a little defensively looking down at the floor.

"Come on, Darcy." Jane demanded. "You're the only one he talks to."

"I don't know anything." She said, painfully aware of how badly she was lying. It was true she didn't know why he was so tired but surely their late night was at least part of that?

"Uh huh." Jane said, clearly unconvinced.

"About your relationship with uh the God of leather." Banner said to her. "The guy's only got crazier since I saw him last. You want to be careful."

"Thanks." Darcy said to him, pressing her lips into a thin line to stop from telling him that she'd already figured that out.

"And other people might notice." He said.

"What do you mean?" She asked, for the second time that day colour flooding her cheeks. Had he heard the same things Adam had? Oh God, she really didn't want to have  _the talk_  with the Hulk. How embarrassing...

"I mean that if people find out that you and he are in any way...friendly. They could use you as leverage against him. It's not just he that might hurt you."

The warning seemed rather eerie what with the precautions Matt gave her during every self defence lesson. She could almost hear his voice: "Come on, Darce, this is important. Pay attention." Did no one get that she realised how dangerous her situation was? She was very much aware of it but she couldn't maintain a level of fear for months. She'd just...acclimatised to it.

"Thanks." She replied. "I'll uh, bear that in mind."

He nodded and turned round to write down what he needed for the experiments. Darcy then spent a busy morning sending emails before typing up Loki's notes. She kept expecting someone to come in and yell at Loki for the lack of recording equipment in his room last night but no one did.

It was only when she thought about why they wouldn't that she felt slightly uncomfortable. She certainly knew what she would think if two people were in a bedroom together and cut the cameras. She'd done it with Adam...

She was surprised to find she didn't particularly care. If they thought she was doing Loki then they clearly overestimated her ability to talk to him.

She looked at him as he worked, biting his lip in concentration. Oh yes, there were definitely worse rumours in the world.

Darcy's night to cook meant that everyone ate decently for once. Having had a decent meal of pork chops, potatoes and gravy, everyone seemed to be in a good mood. Jane was practically skipping because they were so close to building a bridge to Asgard, Darcy was happy because Banner meant that work was happy and Loki...well Loki wasn't really the sort to be happy unless people were kneeling down in front of him so he didn't count.

Jane decided to go to bed early so that she'd be good for work tomorrow leaving just Loki and Darcy in the kitchen.

"Wine?" She asked. He hesitated before nodding. "What?" She asked. "Not retreating to your batcave tonight?"

"My what?" He asked, squinting at her in confusion.

"Don't worry. Look we're having half decent stuff because we're celebrating the near end of Jane's bridge thing." She handed him the glass and grinned. He smiled slightly in return.

"What will happen when it is completed?" He asked.

Darcy thought for a moment. "Well Fury will go ape shit at Thor for sending you here to us. Probably demand he take you back." She paused, realising that she'd somehow managed to forget that slight point of the whole experiment. "If...when that fails," She said because she refused to accept the alternative of

Loki going off to more torture. "I guess we'll start work on improving it."

Loki nodded, thoughtfully.

How had she managed to forget that the thing they were working so hard to build was being constructed to deliver Loki back? Her eyes wandered guiltily to the scar on his eye.

But then why would he help? It was the question she'd been trying to answer for so long. Last night she thought she'd found the answer. The maths and the science were probably helping him figure out his magic.

But was figuring out magic worth being sent back to a place they could take it away again?

"Are you all right?" Loki asked, watching her with slight concern and sounding as though worried she had mental problems.

"Yeeees." She said slowly, wondering why he'd asked her.

"You look...pained." He said.

"I was just thinking." She said awkwardly. She had two answers. Either he was secretly building something else, which Jane would notice or...he wanted to be back in Asgard? Wow. She didn't think her company was that bad.

"Ahh yes that explains it." He said. She scowled at him. He smirked in response beforehis smile suddenly dropped. He glanced to the right and her eyes followed, wondering if Jane had appeared but no one was there, when she looked back at him his eyes were closed.

"What are you doing?" She asked. He gripped the glass too tightly, glass shattering all over the floor and spilling wine everywhere. "Loki?" She asked, panic rising in her voice which she desperately tried to quell. She realised suddenly that it was the first time she'd said his name to him but the full effect of it was lost.

She rushed over to him, gripping his arm. Beads of sweat were forming on his forehead.

"Loki!" She shouted. "Jane!" She screamed, trying desperately to find help. She shook him but his eyes remained clenched tight, his body slightly shuddering.

"Loki!" She shouted again at him, tears springing to her eyes in her panic.

Suddenly, he gasped, his eyes springing open and latching onto hers. Distantly she heard Jane's running footsteps.

He looked at her intently, the one second lasting a life time. "I'm sorry." He said. He seemed to her to glow green for a moment and then she felt like she'd been set on fire, the flames starting at her toes and springing to her head in fiery pain. Her vision went black and she screamed. When she fell to the floor she wasn't even conscious of Loki falling with her.

Darcy's first thought when she woke up was that she was hungover. This thought was founded on a number of reasons.

The first was that her head felt very groggy, so much so that it took a while even for this thought to form because she felt like she was swimming in her own mind. He brain seemed to be pulsing against her skull, threatening to break free and cause her considerable pain in the process.

The second was that she was not in her own bed. She could feel a papery thin sheet draped around her and cold sheets pressed up under her back. The mattress was thin but comfortable. Definitely not her lumpy but familiar mattress of home.

The third was that she was naked. This one was pretty self explanatory. It wasn't exactly her first time.

And finally, she could hear rhythmic beeping which at first she assumed was in her head.

She opened her eyes and flinched back at the bright white light that greeted her.

"Darcy!" A voice said. She opened her eyes slowly this time, trying to get them used to the light.

"Darcy." The same voice repeated. She located a woman standing near her, she looked familiar but she couldn't place her. She was wearing bright white which made Darcy's eyes sting a little.

"What-" She started but her voice was hoarse, flame burning in her throat when she tried to speak.

"Oh careful," The woman said. "It might be a little sore."

 _A little?_  She thought,  _how about we swap and you tell me how much it hurts then?_ The woman pressed a paper cup to her lips and she gulped the water down desperately. She felt like she hadn't had a drink in days. The water burned pleasantly as it travelled down.

When she was finished she tried again. "What happened?" She managed to whisper.

"I'm not quite sure I'm the best one to answer that, honey." The woman said patronisingly. "I'm going to go fetch Dr Foster now, okay?"

Darcy nodded once, as much as she could lying down. She seemed to be in some kind of hospital, she was in the kind of hospital gown things found there but that didn't make sense. She hadn't been in an accident. She tried to think and at once the grogginess cleared. She remembered her panic, Loki glowing green and the pain, the searing pain that flared through her before she slammed into the kitchen tiles.

She felt bile rise in her throat but she swallowed it quickly. She would not be sick. She wouldn't.

So she'd been moved. She couldn't be in a hospital because that would involve taking Loki there too. Then she realised why the doctor was so familiar. It was the same one that had tended to Loki when he first arrived. She was in SHIELD then. Darcy's bed was slanted slightly so that she was sat up to face the room, meaning she could see Jane arrive.

"Darcy!" Jane squealed as she ran in.

"Jane." Darcy greeted questioningly. She was acting ridiculously excited.

"You're awake!" Jane pointed out.

"Yeeeeeaaah..." Darcy said, waiting for a bit more of an explanation. "Don't act too surprised, I do wake up occasionally."

"Yes but," Jane stood by her bed. "You've been out a while."

"What like a few days?" Darcy asked, confused. It didn't feel like she'd had more than a few hours of sleep.

Jane's face paled and she fiddled with the bracelet on her wrist nervously. "Darcy," She said, her bedside manner scaring her. "You've been out for three weeks."

"W-w-what?" Darcy stuttered. "No. No I haven't."

"It's the eleventh of December." Jane said gently. "You've been out for three weeks and two days." Her voice broke slightly. "We didn't know if you'd wake up."

Darcy let that sink in for a few moments. That was almost a month of nothingness in her life. "Did I miss much?" She asked at last.

Jane shrugged. "Banner's still here. We're so close to building our own bridge."

"That's good." Darcy acknowledged. "But I meant, like, in the wider world."

Jane blushed, evidently aware of the fact she'd gone straight to science mode. "There have been some terrorist bombings, some guy called the Mandarin."

"Adam mentioned him!" Darcy said, glad to have something she knew a bit about then feeling guilty that she was slightly happy over some terrorist bombings.

"Yeah, he visited you a few times, by the way. I told him to leave you alone when I found out." Jane said, a set to her jaw. "Anyway, Tony threatened him...The Mandarin, that is, not Adam."

"He did what?" Darcy asked, her mouth gaping slightly. Even Tony Stark wouldn't be so arrogant to threaten a terrorist, would he?

"He threatened the Mandarin. Gave him his home address. SHIELD's gone insane, they couldn't block the footage in time. This was yesterday. We're all awaiting developments but it's kind of frantic round here." Darcy supposed if anyone would it'd be him. Or maybe Loki.

"So..." Darcy started awkwardly. "What happened?"

Jane frowned slightly. "I was hoping you'd be able to shed some light on that."

Darcy shook her head. "The last thing I remember-" she stopped herself. She couldn't say about Loki. Not until she spoke to him about it at least. "We'd finished dinner and I was getting wine."

Jane looked at her steadily. "I was in my room and I heard you shouting. You were screaming Loki's name and mine once. When I got to you, you and Loki were both unconscious."

"Is he-" Darcy asked quickly, forgetting to mask the panic.

"Alive?" Jane asked and laughed. "He's fine. He was unconscious for three days."

Darcy nodded, relief flooding through her. "Where is he?" She asked. "Shouldn't he kind of be here?"

"He's next door." Jane said, looking down in a way Darcy recognised as not the whole truth. She was about to comment when Jane continued. "He's been asking after you."

"He has?" Darcy asked in surprise.

"Well he asked twice." Jane conceded. "But given that he hasn't said anything to me that isn't insulting or strictly science related it's practically begging."

"What he didn't visit?" She asked, oddly insulted that he hadn't wanted to see her.

Jane fiddled with her bracelet again. "Umm yeah he was going to. How are you feeling?" She asked.

"Fine." Darcy said, narrowing her eyes at her. "Jane, what aren't you telling me?"

"I..." Jane started, looking hopeless. She was an awful liar. Worse than Darcy.

"Dr Foster?" Jane was spared answering by the return of the doctor.

"Yes?" Jane asked in obvious relief, spinning round to face her.

"I'm afraid we really must run some tests on Miss Lewis." She said.

"Ahh right. Of course. I'll be in the lab. Could you get me when you're done?"

The doctor looked from Darcy to Jane, raising her eyebrows at the later. Jane gave an almost imperceptible shake of the head.

"What the fuck is going on?" Darcy asked, annoyed at such obvious secret keeping.

"Director Fury says that if she passes the tests then she's to be moved immediately."

"What?" Jane asked, angrily. "That's ridiculous! She's only just woken up for God's sake!"

"I'm sorry Dr Foster, I don't make the rules." The doctor genuinely looked apologetic.

"At least let her rest a bit longer." Jane pleaded.

"There's really nothing I can-"

"Until tomorrow?" Jane suggested.

"Hello?" Darcy shouted at them, her throat burning but feeling it was worth it.

The doctor swallowed and looked at the clip board in her hands. "I suppose should she fail one of the final tests she'd need another night in here."

Jane grinned. "Thank you so much." She turned to Darcy. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah?" Darcy replied, half annoyed and half confused. Jane kissed her forehead and left the room.

Darcy felt exhausted. "I don't suppose you're going to tell me what's going on tomorrow?"

"I'm afraid you don't have the clearance." The doctor said gently. "Don't worry, it's nothing bad."

"Yeah it sure sounds it." Darcy grumbled.

"I have to run a few tests if that's okay." She replied in a way that left it clear there was no room for disagreement.

"All right but not the mental kind, right?" Darcy checked. "Because I feel like I have a hangover the kind high school students can only dream of."

The doctor smiled kindly. "No, nothing like that."

Those words did not prepare Darcy for the kind of poking and prodding she was expected to endure over the next hour. By the time she finished, she was barely able to keep her eyes open and succumbed to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from All Time Low's Stella. This may not flow particularly well, it was two separate chapters and then I added some stuff in while editing but thank you for reading and I genuinely started crying at some of the reviews because they were so nice so please stop being so cute or I won't be able to break your hearts with this fic...(I'm joking) (I hope)


	14. Where Do You Run?

When she woke next, she felt a lot better rested than she had the day before. Her head was clear and the light didn't burn so much.

"How are you feeling?" The doctor asked, walking over to her calmly, clip board in hand.

"Better." Darcy said, in a surprisingly good mood for a morning. "I'm starving though."

The doctor smiled again. "Yes, being fed by a tube will do that. I'll have someone bring you some food down. You passed the tests yesterday but I just need to do a quick check up."

The tests took less than ten minutes, much quicker than they had been the day before for which Darcy was very thankful. The doctor removed some bandages from her arm and told her that she'd been on an IV drip for a while. Darcy was glad she hadn't woken up while on it, she wasn't fond of needles and probably would have yanked it out, even with Jane's rants every film they watched that 'you must never , ever do that Darcy, those things are in you for a reason'.

The doctor showed her a small bathroom at the end of her room so Darcy was able to take a ridiculously long hot shower to wash off the rest of her grogginess. She liked hot showers anyway, it was the only way she felt clean but this was like rebirth.

There was no hairdryer so Darcy settled for plaiting her hair into two long braids. Jane had moved some clothes into her room for her when she first arrived so she was even able to get dressed into something other than a hospital gown which she would deny she ever wore in the first place.

By the time she returned, her food had arrived along with Jane.

"Hey." Darcy greeted. Jane was sat in the chair next to the bed with some journals spread open on her lap.

Jane looked up like a startled rabbit. "Oh hi, sorry I was just-"

Darcy waved away her explanations, she was used to Jane going sciencey. "It's fine." Darcy said, hopping onto the bed on top of the sheet and pulling the tray of lasagne towards her. It must have been quite late for her to be served dinner food. She wondered how out of sync she was but turned her attention back to her food.

It was a disappointingly small portion. She stuck a forkful in her mouth hungrily.

"How are you feeling?" Jane asked her.

"Better." Darcy said. "Fine actually. I guess I can come help you and Banner in the labs today."

She took another bite, eying Jane's reaction carefully. As predicted, Jane looked away at that moment. "Yeah." Jane said, her voice wavering slightly. "Oh I forgot to say. Your mom phoned about a week ago asking when you'd be over for Christmas. Don't worry, it's all arranged plane tickets bought and everything."

"What?" Darcy asked sharply.

"I thought you would..." Jane looked disappointed, she'd clearly expected it to be a pleasant surprise. Darcy sighed, she couldn't blame Jane. It's wasn't like she ranted openly about her family, she just kind of ignored them in the hope they'd ignore her. It wasn't even like she had anything to rant about either, they weren't bad people they just didn't get along.

"It's fine. Thank you." Darcy said. "But what about Loki?"

"He would go too." Jane said.

Darcy stared at her to see if she was joking. She could just imagine walking up to her traditional mother with leather clad Loki and introducing him as the Norse

God of Mischief. "You expect me to take Loki with me to see my family?"

Jane shrugged. "It was Fury's idea. He thought you could introduce him as your boyfriends or something."

"My what?!" Darcy stuttered. They were joking. They had to be joking.

"You can sort out the details later. Anyway, I brought you this. It's a simplified version of the bridge, thought you might want to read it." Darcy was still trying to process all the stuff about Loki and Christmas but she figured she could think about it later. She was very good at putting off thoughts. She focused on the book.

"Right," Darcy said through lasagne, trying to show some enthusiasm. "Yeah."

She took the battered book and attempted to read it but it was still way over her head. Instead she skimmed the bits she understood. "Woah." She said, on her final bite of lasagne. She was surprisingly full. "Is this right?"

She pointed to the figure Jane had written. Jane leant over and checked it.

"Yes." She confirmed.

"Jane that's a lot of energy." Darcy pointed out.

"I know."

"Yeah but we can't make that kind of energy!" Darcy added. Jane looked like she was on the verge of correcting something she'd said. You probably couldn't make energy or something but Jane didn't mention it.

"True." Jane said slowly. "But I think I know someone who can."

At that moment they heard running outside in the corridor. They both looked up simultaneously, to each other and back to the door. In seconds they were joining the people running along the corridor.

"What's going on?" Darcy shouted.

"I don't know!" Jane shouted back from next to her.

Everyone was gathering in a room at the end. Darcy and Jane entered. It was one of the information rooms, they had one on every floor but Darcy had never seen one so busy. Everyone was surrounding a TV screen where a news report was playing.  
"...gathered around millionaire Tony Stark's home in Malibu which just a few moments ago was the scene of a mass organised attack by The Mandarin. Mr Stark, best known for his invention of the Iron Man suit and his participation in The Battle of New York, had previously taunted The Mandarin to come.

"Having given out his address a few days ago, Mr Stark was assumed to have gone into hiding but it has been confirmed that he, his partner, CEO of Stark Industries; Miss Virginia "Pepper" Potts and scientist; Maya Hansen were present when the Mandarin attacked. Miss Potts and Dr Hansen are well but there has been no sign of Mr Stark. The search continues but at this stage hope of survival is very slim. Mr Stark is presumed dead."

Everyone in the room started talking, drowning the rest of report out. Darcy turned to Jane whose face was ashen.

She opened her mouth to speak but the loudspeaker blared over her. "Everyone stay calm." Fury's voice said. Darcy sent a querying look at Jane who shook her head. So Fury wasn't on base. She assumed every SHIELD compound was hearing this then. "Stark ain't dead. We've picked up the suit's energy signature. I want you finding him. Everyone return to your normal duties."

The intercom beeped out. "Well that was dramatic." Darcy said cheerily.

"Hey!" A voice shouted at her. She looked up to see a guard walking towards her. He was dark skinned and almost as big as Thor had been. She didn't recognise him. "You aren't supposed to be out."

"Out of where?" She asked. "The hospital room? Yeah but I'm fine now."

Jane was looking guilty, only staring at the floor.

"You were supposed to be taken downstairs when you woke up." He said gruffly.

"I was?" She asked, glancing at Jane.

"Yeah, taken to your buddy." He said, annoyed.

"Loki?" She asked, surprised.

"Yes." The man confirmed. Darcy grinned.

"Great. I have some choice words for him." She said, the man gripped her arm which she didn't think was entirely necessary but she let him anyway because she couldn't really be bothered to protest.

"See you later!" She called to Jane.

They got the lift to the floor below. The number of the floor slid into view as the door opened. Floor 14. The holding cells. There weren't many because the New Mexico base was primarily for research but there were enough for emergencies. Apparently that's what she qualified as.

She gave the guard a look of disgust.

"Don't worry." He said, surprisingly gently. "It's only for a few days until the people up above think of something else."

"Yeah well they can go fuck themselves." She told him. Eloquent as ever. Jane had known about this. Jane was going to pay.

He snorted softly and led her to a stop about halfway down. There were guards at every single door. The one outside this one scanned her card across it to open it.

The cell was small but clean and made of metal like the training rooms. A padded bench ran along the furthest edge of the cell. Loki was sprawled across it in the far corner, one of his hands handcuffed to a hook on the wall.

He jumped up when he saw her, a look of shocked happiness on his face. She had to refrain from smiling, it was nice that he was so happy to see her but he'd change his mind soon after she started shouting at him. She had a lot of shouting planned. Thank God her throat was better.

"Darcy." He breathed with relief. She nodded at him, not trusting herself to speak with the guard present.

The one that was stationed outside the door handed a set of handcuffs to the one that had led her there. She raised her eyebrows at him sceptically.

"You have got to be kidding me." She said.

The guard shrugged. "Sorry, standard procedure."

She rolled her eyes, she couldn't really hold it against the guard guard though it didn't stop her feeling annoyed with both of them. Fury however would be getting an earful when she got out. The guard gestured for her to sit on the opposite side of the bench to Loki and he cuffed her hand to a metal hook on her side.

The guard nodded and left, the cell door shutting firmly behind him, sealing her in with Loki.

"Darcy," He started.

Her head snapped to face him. "You used magic." She said calmly with a hint of hardness to her voice.

He looked slightly taken aback at her directness. "I...yes I did." He admitted.

"A lot of magic." She added.

He hesitated and nodded.

"Why?" She asked.

"I can't tell you." He answered quickly.

She leant back against the wall and stretched her legs out along the bench before raising her head to stare at him coldly. "Why not?"

"Because I can't." He snapped.

Her face remained the same but she lowered her voice.

"Why not?" She repeated.

"Because I can't." He repeated again, angrier this time.

Her hand that was chained to the peg hung limply slightly level to her shoulder meaning that the cold hand cuff was cutting into her skin but she ignored it. She  _would_  get answers.

"You used magic." She said, the same monotonous tone to her voice.

He said nothing.

"And you can't tell me why." She added.

He remained silent.

"Jane said they didn't think I'd wake up." She told him, the coldness in her voice cutting at him like a knife edge. "I almost died and you won't tell me why."

"It's better if you don't know." He said calmly, his eyes pleading with her to accept that which only infuriated her more.

"I ALMOST DIED, LOKI!" She shouted at him. "Do you not care about that?"

"Of course I do." He retorted angrily, standing up.

"I mean for more than the stupid magical reasons!" She shouted back, standing up too. "I mean don't you care that I almost died?"

"I...yes." He said, looking as though it pained him to admit it.

"Then why," She asked tears filling her eyes. She'd thought she'd got past the point of him caring as her only as a magical hostage. Apparently she was wrong. "Did you think that it was worth risking my life to do your little magic trick?"

" _I can't tell you_." He said slowly, sneering each word as if to a child.

"What because that knowledge is too much for me?" She asked sarcastically.

"Yes, it is." He growled.

"Urgh!" She screamed. "You pretentious, horse-fucking bastard! That is not your choice to make!"

"If there was another way then I would have done it." He said calmly, regaining control in the face of her fury.

"And you can't tell me why?" She asked, her pitch rising.

"It is not my duty to tell you anything." He sneered. "You are human."

"Oh don't you fucking dare go back to your 'Asgardian prince holier than thou' routine. Yes I am human. I'm Darcy Lewis. I'm the woman who wakes you up in the morning. The one who lends you books. The one who knows your big M word secret. And, oh yeah, that's right, the one who you almost just kill-"

Her words dissolved into a scream as the world shook and she went slamming into the side of the wall. A blast went off in her ears so loud that she could only hear ringing. Dust was raining from the ceiling and parts were falling down.

The whole world was falling apart. Or so it seemed.

A chunk of plaster fell from the ceiling, smashing into her leg. Her frightened shreak morphed into a scream of pain as more rubble fell. She coughed on the dust as the world span around her. She shut her eyes to protect them from the dust. When she could no longer feel it raining down on her face, she opened them.

She blinked a few times as the rubble cleared. It was still falling but Loki was over her, protecting her from the worst.

"What was that?" She asked through dust.

"Shh." He whispered urgently. She stayed still, trying to ignore the burning pain in her leg which was making her vision go black at the edges.

Finally the world stopped shaking and she could see the wreckage. The structure was still standing but the walls around them had caved in so that a maze of wreckage was formed, rubble in every direction. They were lucky the entire compound hadn't collapsed. The smell of burning hung heavily in the air wrenched apart only by the shrill screams emanating in the distance.

She shoved the plaster off her leg with a lot of effort, biting her tongue to stop from screaming from the pain and thankful she still had some painkillers in her system. Her ankle felt pretty smashed.

"This was no accident." Loki said, his voice low and serious.

At the moment he said that they could hear bullets being fired.

"Someone's ambushing SHIELD?" She asked, panicked. SHIELD was supposed to be untouchable. Loki glanced towards the exit.

For a moment she thought he was going to leave her, after all what better time to escape? He hadn't cared about her dying when he did magic, he clearly didn't care about leaving her now. She felt a punch of betrayal and cursed herself. Any idiot would have it in to their heads by now that Loki didn't care but

Darcy kept managing to convince herself otherwise.

But he couldn't leave her. He could be next door or the floor below but further than that and they'd both be writhing on the floor. As if remembering it at the same time as she did, he turned back to her.

"Can you walk?" He demanded.

"Dude, you're lucky I'm still conscious." She replied.

His lips curled up in disgust but he leant over and wrapped an arm behind her back and another below her leg so that he was carrying her. She bit her tongue so much she tasted blood as her ankle flicked but he noticed this and re-arranged his hands.

He picked his way through the rubble out of what used to be the cell door. Darcy tossed her broken handcuff off of her right wrist, the wall it was attached to barely still standing, and wrapped the arm closest to Loki round his neck so that she was easier to carry. She didn't want to be any more of a burden.

"We need to get out before the support gives way." She told him.

"Yes I'm well aware." He snapped.

He made it outside the now redundant cell wall before he stopped. The guard that had been outside the cell hadn't been as lucky as they had, she'd been hit in the head by one of the metal support beams, her crumpled form lying bleeding on the floor, covered in dust.

Darcy's hand gripped Loki's leather collar. His face fell to the woman with a passive glance. She couldn't tear her eyes away from the woman. Death seemed to have such a quiet captivation over her, she was unable to look away from the scarlet blood blazing against the pallid skin. She recalled the anger she'd felt towards the woman as she'd been locked in the cell, the woman whose name she did not know but who now lay dead, one among countless others that she could see scattered across the hallway.

"We need protection." Loki's voice told her calmly.

She frowned at him. "Like what?"

"Like the weapons found on your agents." Loki said simply.

"No." She said, eyes widening in horror. "No we can't...we can't rifle through dead people's possessions!"

"At this moment we have no choice." Loki said, crouching down next to the woman, balancing Darcy on his knee. It would have been romantic were the circumstances different. "And I don't think they will miss them, if it's any consolation."

"This is stupid!" She protested, dust was still raining from the ceiling. "We can't waste time, the whole place will collapse!"

Loki leant over to the woman's pockets, running his pale hands through them in desperate and quick search. "What is waiting up there is far worse, believe me."

"How do you know so much about it?" She demanded. "Why can't you just tell me for once?"

"Can you use this?" He asked, handing her a small black box.

"Yeah sure," She said, distracted for a moment with a slight grin. "It's a taser, I once got your big bro with one."

"You will have to tell me." Loki said distractedly without a hint of a smile. He was still focused on finding something else. "A gun though it is beneath me and above you..."

"Hey!" He threw the gun to the side.

"Ahh!" He said happily, pulling a dagger out of a holder on her belt. "Right, now we go."

He slipped the dagger into a compartment hidden in the leather and in one swift moment had picked her up and was running. He wasn't looking at her, his focus undivided from the task at hand.

"We can't go straight up," She said. "We have to check Jane's okay."

"She was with the monster, I believe she will be fine." He said.

"You don't know that!"

"We do not have time to check. We must get away from here."

"What?" She asked, looking up at him. "Get away from here? How are we supposed to do that?"

They heard movement from the end of the hallway and froze. Darcy could feel Loki's heart beating incessantly quickly and felt her own race to meet his. Loki was scared, or at the very least anticipating something scary and that was good enough for Darcy to believe she wanted to be a thousand miles away.

She heard footsteps running towards them. At first she thought they were SHIELD agents as they were dressed in navy but as they reached them she saw that it darker, almost black. Their faces were covered but they all seemed to be following one person in front.

There were five of them, carrying huge guns that made the guard's pistols look like water guns. Ordinarily, she wouldn't have been quite so scared, after all she had a God on her side. However, currently that God was carrying her and rather out of practice.

Her heart hammered in her chest, adrenaline pumping through her veins.

Loki's arms tightened around her protectively.

"Give us the girl." The man in the front said.

Her hand on Loki's collar tightened even more, sudden panic building in her. Loki wouldn't give her up, if for no other reason than because the magic between them meant he couldn't.

To her surprise, he smiled. He was perfectly still and she realised he'd expected this to happen, none of it surprising him.

He pulled her as close to him as possible so that she was curled up against his chest, her vision went black and the next thing she was conscious of was snow falling against her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title from Brighten's I'll Carry You. Apparently I scared some people with my message on the last chapter. Whilst I would love to remind some of you that there are far worse things that can happen to characters than death...I feel that would be rude so I guess I'll just say that I will try to be nice in this fic. (I'm sorry, fic writing is too much power...Is this how Moffat feels?)
> 
> Oh and I think some people were concerned about the tests SHIELD were running? I assure you they were purely medical.
> 
> As always thank you for the reviews and have a great New year. Thanks for reading.


	15. Wishful In The Night

Darcy must have passed out because the next thing she knew she was lying on the ground rather than in Loki's arms. She jumped as the first snowflake hit her, forgetting about her crushed ankle and ending up letting out a high pitched scream. Her eyes scrunched up as she winced, it felt like she was being stabbed in one place by a thousand tiny needles.

"Stay still." Loki said, placing his hand on her ankle.

She whimpered slightly but managed to not move it.

"It is not broken." He said after a few moments, removing his hand. "Just badly bruised. I could attempt to fix it with magic but..."

"No." She agreed, thinking that she would rather lose the use of her ankle than be knocked out for another three weeks. Her teeth chattered as the biting wind cut through the holes in the knitting of her jumper.

"Do you have any knowledge of where we are?" He asked.

She sat up and looked round. It was night, or very early in the morning and light powdery snow floated in the air, the kind that doesn't actually settle on the ground. Thick trees surrounded them making Darcy feel miles away from anywhere.

She hugged her arms, it was freezing wherever they were.

"No." She told him, looking at him shrewdly. "How did we get here?"

"I brought us." He told her. "I can bend the distance between places occasionally, I have heard your kind refer to it as apparition."

She recalled Thor telling her about Loki's visit when he was being held prisoner by SHIELD that time he'd tried to get mjolnir back. She knew he could, like,  _appear_  but something still didn't make sense. "I thought you kind of collapsed if you used magic?" She asked confused.

"If I use magic poorly. Luckily I have done this before, it requires a lot of energy which is why it can only be done rarely, especially when with two people but it is rather easy even in this state, so long as I do not think it through too much."

"Riiiight." Darcy said, not really understanding at all. One thought continued to cross her mind: Loki had known it was an attack before they saw the attackers. She sought around for a way of asking which didn't sound like an accusation. "But who were those people? You knew them, right?"

"I cannot tell you." He said sharply.

"We're in the middle of nowhere, I almost died, I know about your magic." She listed, bored with having the same conversation. "I think we are through the point of keeping secrets."

He smiled, the intimate smile he sometimes used when laughing at himself. "Darcy, there is so much more about me that you do not know than you do, if you were wise you would endeavour to keep it that way."

"Yeah yeah I've heard the secrets, horse-fucker."

He sighed. "How many times must I tell you that I-"

"Dude, chill. I'm just joking." She said, smiling. He looked at her astounded. "Yeah yeah I know, I use humour at bad times. Anyway the point remains. Even you have to admit, you owe me some kind of explanation."

He shook his head slowly but in defeat rather than refusal. "First we must find out where we are." He said.

"We need to get back to SHIELD." Darcy said, eying him warily. After all, wouldn't now be the perfect time to escape? Find some allies and destroy the world? Why on Earth would he willingly go back to SHIELD?

He nodded. "Obviously but..." He trailed off slowly and looked at her intently, his clear green eyes boring into her blue ones with startling intensity. "These people are dangerous. They could find out where we are just as easily as SHIELD can. We must find SHIELD rather than relying on them to find us."

Darcy nodded slowly, suddenly scared. SHIELD probably already knew where they were and if that was true then the other people did too.

But then, SHIELD had been destroyed. They would be busy sending out rescue teams to New Mexico and the ones that didn't would be out looking for Tony Stark. Her and Loki would be last on that list, after all, they had the avengers to sort Loki out should he try anything.

And that meant that this other group, whoever they were, were probably already looking for them. Especially if, as Loki was hinting, they only attacked the base to reach them.

Loki bent over to pick her up and she cringed away.

"What?" He scowled.

"You aren't carrying me like a kid." She said. "Just, I don't know, help me up and I'll hop."

He smiled slightly at her and shook his head as though he were humouring her. "Fine." He said, leaning over and slipping his arm round the back of her shoulders and under her arm. She leant against him, using him to pull herself up and keeping all her weight on her right foot rather than left.

She shivered still from the cold and by the time she was upright her breathing was short and sharp. It was the kind of cold that you could smell, the dry cleanness of it scraping relentlessly against her throat.

"Which way?" Darcy asked. The forest all looked the same. She looked round, as did Loki.

"This way." He nodded forwards.

"Why?" She asked, looking up at him suspiciously. "You are so just making that up."

"There is a path." He said bluntly. She looked and saw that he was right, there was a faintly discernible trail through the frozen dirt.

Her lips thinned into a taut line. "Fine." She snapped.

Loki rolled his eyes and started forwards, Darcy hopping to keep up. After a few steps he stopped. She almost lost her balance, her grip on him tightening.

"This is preposterous." He said.

"Oh shut up." She said, she could barely mover her lips they were so cold.

His arm round her shoulders pulled her down. Caught off guard, she lost her balance but before she hit the floor his other arm had swept up to catch her legs so that he was carrying her.

"Put me down." She said, pushing his leather wrapped chest.

"Stop acting like a child." He told her, already starting to walk.

He didn't understand: it wasn't about annoying him or anything. She just wanted to be able to walk, to do something. The compound had come crashing down and she'd been trapped. They'd been attacked and if it wasn't for Loki she would probably be wherever they wanted her to be right now. She already felt helpless enough without him carrying her.

For the first time she registered their words. "Give us the girl."

A chill ran through her that had nothing to do with the cold. Why had they wanted her? She was just a research assistant. Her only use was the bond with Loki and he'd been right there, they could have just taken him. Suddenly she didn't want to run anymore, she wanted to curl up and hide somewhere no one could ever find her again.

She decided that fighting against Loki was futile so instead hugged her arms in and pressed herself against his chest, allowing his arms wrapped around her to warm her up. She was uncomfortably aware of his breath against her neck and the way his hands were holding her as though she were breakable.

She inhaled his scent unashamedly, mentally screwing any implications that might otherwise have had because she had no idea what was happening to her and at least Loki was familiar. The smell of his leather and the almost spicy smell of his skin was like the smell of home, it made her back muscles relax despite the cold. No matter who or what Loki was, to her at least, he was the feeling that came from being safe.

God that was ironic but nobody was getting to her with him around.

She closed her eyes against the wind, thinking of what she would be doing right now if she wasn't in the middle of nowhere. She liked to think that she and Jane would be watching old episodes of Friends with a bowl of popcorn like they used to in the few months where she wasn't obsessively looking for Thor: once she'd gotten over the shock of him leaving and before Loki came and sped up the process of finding him. Only in her little fantasy, Loki was there too. He was in the corner reading and ignoring them as they giggled but still he was there.

Of course she knew that in reality Loki would be in his room researching magic. Jane would be in _her_  room researching Einstien Rosen Bridges. And Darcy would be in  _her_  room researching shoes or music or anything to stop her thinking about messaging one of her college friends or even Adam because she just wanted someone to talk to. In the end she'd probably settle for watching TV with a glass of wine or lying on her bed with her iPod.

She preferred to think of the fantasy. Loki would be snapping at them to be quiet and she'd make some snide remark which would receive a glare but with the slight twitching of his lips which meant he was trying not to smile while Jane told her not to provoke him.

It was only a few hours later when she woke up that she realised it'd been an actual dream. The smell of old tobacco and musty sheets filled her nose before she was fully conscious and she coughed.

She opened her eyes and saw that she was in what appeared to be a cheap motel, gaudily decorated in faded greens and purples. The shower was on in a room to her right, the noise of the water echoing loudly through to her. Light was filtering under the old door and some of the steam was even causing the windows where she was to fog up.

She wondered how many times she was going to wake up in strange beds. She at least deserved to get properly drunk first, right?

She stretched her limbs to try to shake off the grogginess. Surely three weeks ought to have been more than enough sleep. She wanted to get up but her ankle felt stiff this morning. Or maybe it was evening. It was all rather confusing.

And oh God had she fallen asleep in Loki's arms? She groaned internally and really really hoped she hadn't snored.

The shower clicked off and a few minutes later Loki came into the main room, fully clothed unfortunately. She'd seen Thor shirtless and her general impression of Asgardians was that they looked much better uncovered.

"You're awake." He scowled as he saw her. His damp hair was pushed back even more than usual, accentuating the sharp planes of his face.

"I should hope so." She replied. "I've had more than enough sleep recently."

"You need rest." He said, still frowning at her.

She rolled her eyes. "I'm fine." She didn't even feel tired anymore.

Loki nodded though she could tell he didn't believe her. "Let me see your ankle." He commanded. She obliged, shifting her leg out from under the thin sheets and blankets. He'd managed to bandage it somehow and she thought about him doing it while she slept. He must have been the one who put her into the bed. That was just so weird she couldn't even fathom it.

He sat at the bottom of the bed, Darcy's lack of height meaning there was easily enough room for him. He expertly unwrapped the bandages and too late

Darcy realised she should have averted her eyes. Her ankle was swollen and purple. She almost gagged.

Loki looked dejectedly at the strips of fabric which she realised were torn off of the bed sheet. They both knew it wasn't enough. She needed a cast, not bandages.

He looked up at her and smiled reassuringly. "It is healing well."

She sent him a disbelieving look. "Liar." She said.

He ignored her and wrapped it back up with fresh sheet strips.

"How do you know so much about it?" She asked, watching his hands move gingerly across her ankle.

"Wounds?" He asked. "My mother taught me basic war field healing. She is far better at it, I excelled more at illusions."

Darcy smiled, it was nice hearing him talk about his mother. Nice to know he actually cared for someone. Then a sudden thought occurred to her. "And how come you don't have a bruised ankle?"

"Evidently it healed faster." He replied quickly.

"Oh okay." She said before looking round the room, anywhere but at him because she generally believed that people who looked good with damp hair weren't to be trusted and damn he was living up to the title of the God of Lies on that front. "Are we in a motel?" She asked.

Loki shrugged. "An inn of some sort."

"Okay...why?" Darcy asked curiously.

"As we do not know where we are there was no point walking aimlessly in the hope that we found SHIELD." Darcy had to agree.

"And you just...walked up to the front desk and asked for a key?" As if the idea of Loki doing that wasn't funny enough, his clothes and her limp body made it down right ridiculous.

He shook his head with a slight smile. "I took a key."

"Thievery?" She asked. "I feel like I shouldn't condone but it's better than world domination so go you! Progress!"

Loki raised an eyebrow. "Well that all depends on where you're standing."

Darcy laughed and fell back against the pillow. "I really don't get you. You try to take over the world and then you seem perfectly fine imprisoned on Earth."

"I do well at adapting." Loki said with a slight tone of amusement as though he'd made some joke only he would understand.

"Adapting?" She repeated. "Yeah right. You're up to something, what is it?"

He finished wrapping her ankle and stood up so that he was looking down at her. "Now that you ask me you expect me to answer?" He asked slightly bitterly.  
She felt a slight twinge of guilt. "What do you mean?"

"Your act of friendship." Loki told her cooly.

"Oh uh...you knew about that?" She asked, a leaden feeling in her stomach.

He smiled at her condescendingly, a slight curl in his lip. "Believe me, I recognise lies."

"Yeah well I guess you're familiar with them." She said jokingly. It was only when she saw his smile slip away that she realised her statement, referring to his being the God of them, could be interpreted in another way. Namely, in the secrets kept from him by a certain All-Father. "I didn't mean..." She started, unsure how to finish.

 _Nice one, Darcy_ , she thought. Maybe one day she would be able to control what came out of her mouth.

Loki had gone silent. She could almost feel him pulling away from her. It felt like she'd just kicked a puppy or something.

"Loki," She said gently, his head snapped to her, his eyes glaring. Okay not quite a puppy. "It's true, I was acting but that was like a month ago. I couldn't act for that long. And I'm sorry I ever tried."

His face remained impassive. She felt her guilt ebb away, she would not deal with him sulking. As though he'd read her mind, his face softened and he looked away.

"I do not know where we are." He said finally, inflecting boredom into each syllable.

Darcy nodded slowly. "I'll find out." She said. "Just...can you tell me what happened? Please?"

He watched her intently for a few moments, probably shocked that she was being polite about it. She felt a bit bad, she  _had_  bombarded him with a lot of questions recently. He deserved them of course but perhaps there may have been a slight chance that shouting at him wasn't the best way to get answers.

Loki sighed. "What do you want to know?" He asked after a few moments.

"How did you know who those people were?" She asked, the question that had been on her mind the most escaping from her lips before she could think of a more important one. She propped herself up on her elbows so that she could watch him pace.

He scratched the back of his neck in frustration before clasping his hands behind his back.

"I received a certain...message." He said at last, his voice gaining the silky smooth quality she tended to associate with him hiding something.

She glared at him, very unimpressed. "Uh huh." She said. "And?"

"The person who sent it was responsible for the attack." Loki answered.

"And what did the message say?" She asked.

Loki didn't answer immediately. "Tell me the truth, Frost Brain. All of it." He raised an eyebrow. "Umm please?" She tried, she wasn't the best at this politeness thing.

The corners of his lips twitched like he was trying not to smile. Darcy was glad he didn't, a smile of endearment from him would probably have distracted her from further questions. Why couldn't he be an ugly God?

"That would be unwise." He replied.

"I don't care." She answered. "Just stop with the secrets."

"Secrets are knowledge." He told her. "And knowledge is power."

"And debating the nature of knowledge is one way to avoid sharing it." She retorted. This time he did smile, as though she'd impressed him and she felt a small trill of pride go through her. Even she was shocked. Maybe she was spending too much time with Jane.

"They were threats." He said, wiping away her smirk. "That is all I will say on the content."

Darcy's mouth gaped open and she felt goosebumps go up her skin. For a moment, she was unashamedly selfish. If someone had been threatening Loki then weren't they threatening her too what with the magical link? She cast around through the thousands of questions running through her brain. "How did they get you a message?" She asked, imagining some dark clothed villain trying to fly paper aeroplanes through Loki's window.

"Telepathically." He answered.

Telepathically? What the hell? So this person either had powers, not so unusual given the people SHIELD worked with but surprising nonetheless, or they weren't human. And if it was another Asgardian would Loki be able to protect them both? She'd kind of assumed that the only one that could hurt her was Loki given that he'd protect her from anyone else. She gulped silently. He was staring at her and she raised her head to meet his eyes. They both understood the danger then.

"You got a message." She said, something clicking into place in her mind. "That night that you went all funny and we collapsed."

Loki hesitated in his pacing and nodded. He clearly hadn't expected her to work that out. She felt a satisfied smile pull at her lips.

"So that's why you used magic?" She asked. "That's why I was unconscious for three weeks?"

"Yes."

"Then what did you do?" She asked desperately, sitting fully up to ask him, her eyes bearing into his. "What could you  _possibly_ do?"

"That knowledge is best kept secret." He answered.

"Oh my God, Loki!" She sighed in exasperation. "Secrets aren't good! Believe me, I work at SHIELD! I see what they do to people!"

"Knowledge is also dangerous." He told her firmly. "At this point I am protecting you."

"I didn't ask to be protected."

Loki smirked. Her hand itched to slap it off of his face. "Well then you should be thanking me for doing it anyway."

She clung to her anger, not letting herself feel amused or pitiful or whatever other unexplainable emotions she might have felt. Anger was safe and understandable. "I am currently in a motel in the middle of nowhere after being in a terrorist attack." She spat. "Where exactly in all of this am I protected?"

He leant against the wall, slowly. He seemed to be doing it just to infuriate her. She wanted quick exchanges and raised voices. He was giving her lethargy and calmness.

 _Why did every other conversation they had end in an argument?_  She thought, exasperated.

"You have to trust me." He answered smoothly.

There it was again. That word. Trust.

There was a list of people who Darcy trusted explicitly.

The List: 1. Jane

That was it. And even then it came with conditions. She did not, for instance, trust Jane to tell her the truth. She did trust that if Jane lied to her, however, it was for a good reason.

Loki she did not trust. Not to tell her the truth. Not to have good reasons. Not to even be himself seeming as he alternated between hilarious and friendly...to her at least, and vicious and hurtful.

Did she trust him with her life? Darcy thought about how stupidly easy it had all seemed in TV shows. You become friends with someone and they trust each other. Sometimes they would trust a complete stranger because they had an unexplainable connection.

But there were so many details. She trusted Loki to protect her from people. That was true. But it was more that she trusted him to protect himself. She was under no delusions, she told herself. If the magic left her then he'd use her as a human shield, and that was even if they didn't just out right kill her.

It was too complicated, she decided. She would just go for not trusting him and take it from there.

 _No_ , she thought. "Fine." She said.

He nodded, his eyes flicking down in relief. Darcy couldn't help finding it adorable, he was so stoic around everyone else that it was kind of remarkable seeing him with any emotion on his face. When she did it was normally pain, this made a nice change.

At the same time, however, a more important thought was brought to the front of her mind. She was lying to the God of lies. And he hadn't even noticed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Canterbury's Heavy In The Day. Thanks for reading and reviews.


	16. Control The Audience

With each step, Darcy felt like shards of glass were shooting from her ankle through her body, slicing up her spine and leaving her in agony. Maybe Loki was wrong and her ankle had broken because it definitely felt like the fragments were cutting away at her.

She gritted her teeth in determination. Loki was watching, hidden and she wouldn't let him see that he was right. He'd all but begged her not to do this but she'd pointed out that the man at reception was rather unlikely to be working for a terrorist organisation. Of course she then had to put up with him sulking but he was moody enough as it was that that really just meant extra pouts.

Darcy smiled up at the guy behind the counter. He was in his early twenties, about her own age, but he still had a face full of acne and stringy blond hair that fell in a tangled knot across his head.

"Hi." She said, as she reached the counter. She leant against the desk to take some of the weight off of her ankle and waited for the room to stop spinning.

The guy looked at her, his mouth gaping open slightly and his eyes falling to her breasts. Darcy refrained from rolling her eyes. Boys were idiots. Did they really think she couldn't see them ogling her? She wanted to punch him but decided his stupid idiocy would probably help her.

"My car's broken down." Darcy told him in what she hoped was a convincing way. God, she hated lying. And wow was she bad at it, even she was aware of the flicking down of her eyes at the end.

Then again, she'd lied to Loki, she remembered proudly.

"Oh no." The guy said, eyes not lifting from her chest. Okay so he might be slightly easier to lie to than she'd been expecting.

"Yeah," Darcy said, clearly this dude was lacking in the brain department. "I was just wondering where the nearest town would be?"

The guy scratched his pimply chin and finally looked up at her. "It's about a half hour's drive." He said. "I live there myself."

 _Great_ , she thought,  _thanks for that information I didn't care about._

"Wow," She said, trying to sound interested. She could visualise Loki's smirk. He would know just what she was thinking. The dick.

"I finish my shift in about an hour, I could give you a lift." He offered. She almost laughed, of course she would get into a car with a random stranger who'd done nothing but leer at her.

"You have a car?" She asked, smiling at him. He pulled the keys out of his pocket. The sight of them gave her an idea.

"Yeah, she isn't anything pretty but she works." He said. Darcy nodded with a smile while internally questioning whether she'd ever met anyone who referred to their car as a "she" who wasn't a total douchebag.

"Do you know much about cars then?" She asked.

He shrugged. "I know a bit."

"I don't suppose you'd mind having a look at mine?" She asked.

He shrugged again. "Sure, just show me where it is."

"Actually," She said, hugging her arms. "Do you mind if I stay here? It's reeeaaally cold out there." Her voice had gone kind of high pitched but he didn't seem to notice anything.

He grinned at her, his eyes leering at her boobs again. "Sure thing, honey."

She smiled. "Thanks."

She watched as he left the front door. The moment he did so she ran behind the desk, ignoring the pain in her foot.

Loki materialised in front of her. Well he walked but she was too busy rifling through the drawers to notice.

"That performance was pitiful." He said.

"Yeah well that boy was stupid." She answered. She located a business card for the motel and shoved it in her pocket. Darcy hit the button on the cash register and started piling the cash into her pocket as well. "Besides," She told him. "Slight change of plans."

He raised an eyebrow at her curiously. She tried not to think about the fact that he looked very attractive when he did that.

Before she could explain, however, the door opened and she only had time to jump back round to the other side of the desk before the receptionist came back in.

"I couldn't find- who're you?" He asked, looking at Loki with an expression of nervousness. Loki didn't exactly dress normally but people tended to find him too scary to laugh at. Except for Darcy. And Jane now, of course. And the avengers. She stopped her list. Okay so  _normal_ people found him scary.

Loki looked at Darcy, his expression clear. "Should I kill him?" It read.

She narrowed her eyes slightly in a "no!" before returning to the receptionist. "This is my friend." She said bluntly, hands on her hips as she gave up the pretence of innocence she'd had while putting up with him. Her right hand inched subtly towards her pocket.

The guy was walking back to his desk now which was good because Darcy didn't want to walk to meet him with her ankle in its current state.

"Well I couldn't find your car." The guy said. He was level with her now.

"Oh sorry." She said, pulling the taser from her pocket and digging it into his side.

The guy hit the floor in under a second and Darcy pulled her taser off. She missed her one which she could use at a distance but she supposed she couldn't be too picky with stolen weapons. She'd used up one of the charges, though. It only had one left. She placed it back in her pocket before crouching down to get his keys from his pocket.

She realised that maybe she ought to have felt guilty for that but he was only unconscious, he'd be fine. And if she hadn't felt guilty for tasing Thor, she wasn't going to feel guilty about tasing some jerk who saw her as a walking pair of boobs.

When she stood back up, Loki was staring at her.

"What?" She snapped. She didn't like the way he was looking at her.

He raised his eyebrows and frowned. "Impressive." He stated.

She felt her lips twitch towards a smile and kept hem consciously kept at a thin line. "Yeah well help me to his car." She said. "I am not walking anymore on this ankle."

Loki nodded, the ghost of a grin on his face as he picked her up. She felt more comfortable in his arms this time, less like an irritating child. It was only then that

Darcy could truly appreciate what it meant that he'd told her about the threats. He trusted her. Kind of. He wasn't questioning her about the car or anything.

She clutched the keys in her hand as they left the warmth of the motel into the bitter cold of the outside. It was the kind of light morning that came only from the fact that a thick layer of snow now coated the ground. It must have continued while she slept. Loki walked her to the car park to the right of the motel where a few cars were parked.

Darcy pressed the button on the key and a battered, red car in the corner beeped. She shared a look of disappointment with Loki before he walked them over. She supposed the tiny vehicle was a bit of a step down from the black SUVs of SHIELD.

Loki opened the driver door and placed her inside the seat before getting in on the passenger side. It was only as she did her seat belt up and went to start the car that she saw the flaw in her plan.

"Uh." She said uncomfortably, placing the keys into the ignition.

"Problem?" He asked curtly, turning to her in his seat.

 _I can't drive with this ankle_ , She thought. But there were two alternatives. Either they faced the cold or Loki drove. She wasn't sure which idea terrified her more.

"No." She answered firmly. "I just remembered this." She dug into her pocket and found the business card for the motel. It was so faded it looked like it was printed in 1980. Despite that, an address was just legible.

She put the card down. "We're in Oregon." She told him, letting that thought settle with her. She was from Connecticut. She couldn't really get much further from home without leaving America. "Portland then. That's our best place to reach SHIELD."

Loki nodded blankly. Evidently the words meant nothing to him.

She started the car.

Expecting warm air to greet her, she was thoroughly disappointed to find that the heater was broken. Her skin was still covered in goose bumps from the cold. She looked round desperately and saw a coat lying on the back seat. It was a man's but it was below freezing and she wasn't bracing the cold in just her jumper. At least it was clean she thought as she shrugged it on, she'd been expecting some smell of cheap cologne.

Now she knew that driving with one foot was probably one of the most stupid things she'd ever done, right up there with taking the internship with Jane, but Darcy Lewis wasn't really one for caring about danger. She laughed as she drove, the jerky movements of her feet on the already old car throwing them both backwards and forwards in their seats.

She managed to sneak a glance at Loki from the corner of her eye whose face had paled, something she didn't think possible, and was warily holding onto the side of the car. She couldn't help but laugh at his expression.

She saw him turn to look at her. "You are going to get us killed." He stated bluntly. He didn't sound like he particularly cared whether that happened or not.

"If you can handle Jane's driving then you'll be fine with mine." She answered though she wasn't so sure herself. Sure Jane had hit a guy...twice... but at least she had control of the brake and clutch at the same time.

After an hour though she'd managed to get a hang of it and their driving went a little more smoothly. Loki didn't say anything else and she thought maybe he might have been sleeping but when her eyes flicked over he was just staring thoughtfully out of the window.

The sun was rising now, washing him in a kind of orangish glow. It looked nice. Like really nice. He was most attractive like that, she decided, when he was lost in thought. There was a kind of calmness to it rather than his usual shrewd calculating expressions and sneers. That combined with the way his jaw jutted down to look out the window, enhancing his already sharp cheekbones...she snapped her heads back to the road, she'd almost forgotten she was driving and had been veering off into the ditch.

 _No,_ she told herself firmly.

What she had with Loki didn't make sense. They were friends and that was weird enough given that her Loki was someone entirely different to the one everyone else saw. She did not need to add any romantic attraction to that and if there was one thing that Darcy knew well it was that drooling over someone's cheekbones was not a great start to a platonic friendship.

 _Stupid Asgardian Gods_ , she thought bitterly.

There were more cars on the road now as well, given that sunrise in December meant it was about eight in the morning.

Darcy liked Oregon. The green fields and mountains they were passing were a lot prettier than the barren deserts of New Mexico.

Still she could not help but feel out of place. This was unfamiliar. She'd never been here and she didn't fit in. At least in California or New York she could find a shoe store and be in her natural habitat. Green fields, as pretty as they were, weren't really cutting it.

After a few hours her mind had begin to wander. What would they actually do when they reached Portland? How did you get the attention of SHIELD without attracting attention from unwanted third parties?

Her stomach churned unpleasantly. She didn't want to admit it but she was kind of scared. It was perfectly reasonable of course but she was so used to being surrounded by people who were immune to fear that she felt weak for her nervousness.

But those people were fear free because they could protect themselves. Darcy...well she only had one charge left on her taser. She decided she had to ask him.

"Loki?" Darcy asked after they'd been in the car a few hours.

"Yes?" He asked.

"When SHIELD exploded..." She started, not really knowing how to voice the question and focusing on driving so that she didn't let too much emotion into it. She didn't want to sound too worried despite the fact that she felt sick whenever she thought of it. "When those people reached us...one of them said 'give us the girl.'"

Loki didn't say anything. Her eyes flicked to him and she saw that he had his 'I am betraying no emotion' look that he had when she'd said something hurtful or that he didn't want to talk about.

"Do you know why?" She added.

Loki took a deep breath. "No."

"Look," She said wearily. "I'm really tired of arguing with you. Just this once can you not be an asshole and tell me the truth?"

"This is the truth." He said and she saw him turn and look at her out of the corner of her eye. "I do not know why they said that."

She was inclined to believe him but given her resolution to no trust him she merely gave him a terse nod and wondered why, if he did know why they wanted her, he would keep it a secret.

His eyes lingered for a few moments on her and she could tell he was calculating whether or not she believed his answer. She felt her heartbeat speed up slightly under his gaze.  _Stop looking at me_ , she wanted to snap, feeling slightly self conscious. Instead she focused on maintaining her passive look of concentration and not blushing.

At last he looked away and they fell back to silence.

She had to stop for gas at one point, using up the majority of the money she'd stolen from the motel and spending the last bits of change on coffee for her and Loki.

She felt like maybe this plan would work out. She and Loki could just drive to Portland, contact SHIELD somehow and have them retrieve them and take them some place far away from any threats.

That was until she saw the black SUV turn off the same junction as her. She realised she'd been seeing it in her mirror for far too long.

"Loki," She said, her voice firm with forced calmness though the panic lifting the pitch slightly. He sat up in his seat and turned to her, sensing the urgency in her voice. "We're being followed."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Jimmy Eat World's Action Needs an Audience. Bit of a short filler chapter, I apologise. I was going to add some more but honestly I think it works better as part of the next chapter. I have coursework and mocks over the next few weeks so updates may be a bit further apart but I shall endeavour to not make you wait too long, and given that it's me I'll probably choose fanfiction over revision anyway.
> 
> Thanks for the reviews.


	17. Thought The Lions Were Bad

"Ahh yes," He said, leaning back in the chair again. "I was wondering when you might notice."

"What?!" She asked, managing to keep her voice down though knowing if she got any higher only dogs would be able to hear it. She was certain if she'd had two working feet she would have slammed the breaks but her foot instead pressed the accelerator, jolting them forwards and causing the engine to rev.

"They've been following us for about half an hour." He said bluntly.

"Dude!" She scolded. "If you see a car following us after people blow up SHIELD to get to us, then you fricking say something!" She would have pulled over to shout at him were it not for the whole 'car full of people trying to kill us following us' thing. Of course they could be SHIELD agents but given Darcy's luck she highly doubted it.

"I wanted to see how you would react." He answered calmly, staring out of the window as though none of this bothered him.

"I'm going to react by strangling you!" She muttered under her breath. She clenched her teeth but forced herself to focus. She could throttle Loki later; there were more pressing matters at hand.

"You might want to do something about the people following us first." He said as though he'd read her mind.  _Wait_ , she thought,  _could he read minds? Shit what if he'd heard all that stuff about him being hot? Shit if he hadn't then he'd hear it now. Don't think about sex. Don't think about sex. Shit.  
_

 _Darcy_ , she told herself firmly, being only slightly aware that normal people didn't tend to talk to themselves in their thoughts.  _He can't read minds. And even if he can it is a problem you can deal with later._

She inhaled deeply.  _Focus_.

They were coming up for a crossroads and she frantically tried to remember everything she could from car chases in films. She signalled to turn right but as soon as she reached it she swung the steering wheel to the left, receiving several angry beeps from other drivers and causing her and Loki's seatbelts to pull tight as they were whipped round.

"I'm going to try to lose them." She explained, cursing as she saw the SUV still behind her. "Think I can?"

"I doubt it. There are three cars."

"What?!" She snapped for the second time. "There's only one SUV!"

"Yes and there is a blue car and a white...I do not know the name for it, a larger vehicle...that have also been following us."

Darcy checked the mirror and saw that he was right, a white van and a navy sedan also seemed too familiar, just not as obvious as the SUV.

"Any other information I should know?" She asked through gritted teeth, annoyed that he hadn't volunteered his knowledge earlier.

"We will not make it to this Land of Port." Loki replied, inflecting his voice with fake innocence.

"You are such an asshat." Darcy mumbled, realising she was driving in circles. "Right okay, we won't make it to Portland because the blue car is now in front of me and the van is trying to get to my right so they're blocking us off. I think I know what I'm going to do."

"Then do enlighten me." He said, sounding bored.

There were few cars on the road and she could see a big empty parking lot looming on her right, one that she'd been following signs for since she saw the cars. She really,  _really_  hoped this plan worked.

"I'm going to let you handle it." She said as she turned into it. She parked the car at the very end so that it was one less direction they could attack from.

Within seconds the three cars that had been following them were on the road and turning into the parking lot.

Loki quirked his eyebrows appreciatively and grinned. "Wise choice. Get out of the car."

She felt her mouth gape open slightly as he managed to get from his seat, out his door, round the car and to open her door in under a second.

"How did you-"

"Is now really the time?" He asked, offering her his hand. She took it and let him pull her out. She felt her stomach turn to jelly as she saw their attackers emerge. There had to be at least twenty of them. Loki's hand stayed steady though, his arm around her shoulders like they were enjoying a nice stroll through the park.

"Are you sure you can't just teleport us out of here again?"

"I'm afraid it would be...too difficult." He said bitterly. She felt slightly sorry for him but the reminder he was low on magic was not exactly reassuring.

He looked down with slight concern at her ankle.

"I'm fine." She said, letting go of his hand and removing his arm forcefully so that she could lean back against the car. He threw her one last concerned look before turning round to face the approaching group who were forming a jagged semi circle around them.

She saw a brief flicker of doubt in Loki's eyes, his lips momentarily twitching into a frown before he turned fully enough that his back to her. Her stomach dropped and she felt adrenaline race through her.

Maybe she was wrong. She'd been confident with this plan because...well because she had a God on her side. He'd been worthy of fighting all of the avengers at once and he'd only just lost. But that was before he had the treatment of Odin and his memories of magic snatched and the doubt that showed on his face was currently making her heart race.

Her hands started to shake and she curled them into fists.  _Get a grip_ , she told herself.

Loki stood in front of her, as though shielding her from their view. She'd known he was tall, of course but only now did she truly come to appreciate the near foot in height difference between them. It made her feel safe. Protected.

She'd expected some kind of conversation. Wasn't that what they did in the movies? But their attackers were too well organised. She saw the glint of silver as Loki slipped the dagger into his hand.

Her heart pounded loudly, so loudly she felt certain they could hear it. She wanted to run and curl into a ball at once.

The first person sprang at Loki, their black clothed figure running towards him. Loki span faster than she thought was actually possibly, dodging the attack with ease and skewering the guy with the dagger. He pulled it out forcefully, blood dripping from its blade and flung the limp body to the ground as more people rushed in.

It was mesmerising in a sick kind of perverted way, Loki span and dodged like he'd had a millennia of practice. He was a swirl of leather and green as he moved away from her in his attempt to evade the attackers.

After Loki had killed three of them (Darcy tried not to think  _too_  much about this as she cowered against the car) they decided they could risk shooting him.

Loki managed to throw up force fields to deflect the bullets but each one drained him, she could see it in the sweat beading on his forehead and in his slightly slumped shoulders. He was losing. There were too many of them.

"Run!" He screamed at her, panicked as he continued to jab and duck. He may have been a God fighting mortals but he was a God without power. Or much of it anyway.

"I can't!" She screamed back. Had he forgotten about how she'd kill them both if she tried to get away from him? Or about her ankle?

She heard footsteps to her left and turned to see one of them making their way towards her. The roaring in her ears had been too loud and they were too close. She stumbled away, her fingers clutching desperately at the side of the car for some kind of handhold. Finding nothing she felt herself fall to the ground though the adrenaline running through her stopped her from feeling any pain.

"Come with me." The person said, they were male, their voice commanding. It wasn't a question. She scrambled on the rough gritted floor to find a way out; her finger nails breaking in the process. She managed to inch away slightly. Her ankle didn't even hurt anymore, the progressive ache gone.

 _I'm going to die,_  She thought, but he wasn't even pointing a gun at her. Terror seized her, gripping her throat until she could barely breathe, raw like sandpaper it scraped against every inch of her as the man closed in on her. Her muscles clenched in fear.

Because if they'd wanted her dead they would have shot her. And she wasn't wanted because she could give something to them. She finally understood and the clear truth of it all was more terrifying than her situation. It wasn't like she could offer them anything other than her attachment to Loki. Her imagination ran wild, imagining every possible form of torture they could have lined up for her in the knowledge the Asgardian Prince would feel it too.

And even worse than her fear for herself was the knowledge that if she got caught it was all over for Loki too.

The man had reached her, his hand clutched at her arm like talons, tearing into her skin. Instinctively she yanked it away. She could see his eyes through the slit in his mask, narrowed in fury. She marvelled for a moment that her self defence class had actually worked but her mind was fuzzy, her panic stopping her from thinking of anything else she'd learnt. He made a rough grab for her again, catching her awkwardly under her arm. She grappled for her taser. He laughed, pulling her backwards towards their van.

He must have thought she was just pointlessly struggling, she realised, shoving her taser into the exposed skin of his hand. She managed to push him away from her as he fell so that he didn't take her with him and she realised she was standing, weight distributed evenly on both feet and she didn't feel a thing other than a slight stiffness.

 _Wow! This adrenaline stuff is amazing!_  She thought giddily her heart still racing.

She glanced over at Loki who was still fighting a load of soldiers, his responses slowing, becoming sloppier. He looked exhausted she thought, unsteady on his feet. Like the footage she'd seen of him after he came through the tesseract.

Her elation at having tasered the guy who'd attacked her fled as her panic returned. Loki couldn't possibly fight all those people at once. Not in his current state.

She bent over the soldier she'd knocked out. He had to have something that could help. Another taser would have been nice, seeming as her one was out of juice.

Her fingers trailed inside the silken pockets in her frantic search until they closed around a gun.

She pulled it out slowly. This wasn't like her one time of practicing. This was real. Did she really have what it took?

Loki had his back to her as he desperately fought the best soldier who'd somehow managed to remain fighting him the entire time, discernible only by the fact he was almost as tall as Loki.

But there was another guy behind him who was raising a pistol.

Darcy squared her feet and aimed, Loki's voice in her head telling her to aim higher. Without thinking, she squeezed the trigger.

It was too easy, she thought, that such a slight movement of her finger could cause the man to fall. She'd been aiming for his back but as she saw the red of his blood splatter from the wound in his neck she realised it didn't make much difference. A bullet was a bullet.

Loki's dagger entered the side of the person he was fighting and he span as though sensing someone behind him in time to see the man she'd just shot fall.

He looked around taking deep, heavy breaths. They were the only ones left, in the middle of a parking lot and surrounded by dead bodies.

She looked at him and his eyes found hers. Darcy started trembling, the gun falling out of her limp hands.

Loki was in front of her in a second, concern etched across his face.

"What's wrong?" He asked, desperately, clutching at her hands, his own feeling cold as ice. "Are you hurt?"

Darcy opened her mouth to reply and instead burst into tears. Loki pulled her to him, encircling her tiny body in his arms. She was shaking but he held her close, whispering soothing words in her ear which she couldn't quite understand.

She knew she was being ridiculous but she couldn't stop shaking and her heart was racing. Later she would find out at that she'd gone into shock. At the time she just felt pathetic, the thought only causing her to cry even more.

She didn't know how much longer it was, it could have been seconds or minutes but she managed to stop shaking. She curled herself into Loki nonetheless, enveloping herself in his comforting smell of leather and sweat and now the smell of cheap soap from the motel.

Inside his arms she was safe. She didn't have to think about what she did.  _Oh God what she did.  
_

She pulled away though he kept his arms around her, looking down at her with concern.

"I...I killed someone." She stated. There. She'd said it. It seemed ridiculous, saying it to someone who'd killed so many but he didn't laugh at her or point to the eighteen bodies he was responsible for. Instead he just nodded, understandingly.

"I know," He said gently, a tone she didn't think he was capable of. "but I would not have been able to stop them, a bullet for me would have meant one for you too. You had no other option, it was self defence."

"That doesn't make it right!" She protested, pushing his chest so that he let go. She took a few angry steps back. "I can't just excuse killing someone because they were trying to kill me!"

"And the alternative?" He demanded.

"I..." She trailed, her hands reaching to her face as she found herself nervously pacing. "I still killed someone, Loki. I can't...make that go away by saying I had no other choice. Don't you understand that?"

"I may have survived the bullet." He stated. "You would not. You wish for me to blame you for sparing me the pain of seeing your corpse on the ground?"

She looked at him, startled. "What do you care? You'd be free the burden of being bound to me."

He sheathed the dagger back in his pocket. "You believe I see you as a burden?" He attempted a smile. "Darcy, you may talk incessantly but I would not say that it was enough to be a burden. A nuisance perhaps..."

She rolled her eyes. God that jerk was annoying, though she found herself smiling slightly. He cared enough to not want her dead. How sweet. "I still killed someone." She said, unable to get it off her mind. "They probably had a family. Or a pet. Oh God what if they had a puppy?"

Loki shook his head slowly in exasperation. "You know, you are right. You killed someone. What makes you and I so different? One person, a thousand? You are tainted. You look down upon myself and yet you kill just like I."

"Hey!" She protested because being compared to him was a little too far. "That's not fair! I didn't do it out of some perverted sense of entitlement! I did it because he was trying to kill me and I shouldn't be blamed..." She narrowed her eyes at him, realising what he'd done. He smirked mischievously, amusement sparkling in his eyes. "I hate you." She said.

He laughed. It felt oddly soothing as it floated over her. She would happily drown in that laugh right now.

"No. No, I hate you." She said before laughing too and clearing the tear streaks from her cheek. She wanted to hug him again, just for comfort but figured that might be pushing her luck.

"You do not hate me." He said smiling.

"No." She said, sadly agreeing. "But I should. God only knows why I don't."

He smirked, she recognised it as his self mocking grin and felt her stomach clench. She realised she didn't quite like it when he made fun of his own situation. She supposed it was nice that he wasn't taking himself too seriously but still, the pain behind the statements was always there, not in his voice or what he said but...there.

Hell, she'd been spending too much time with him.

"You are not the only one questioning the friendship."

"So we're friends?" She asked with a smile. He ignored her. "Oh go on Frost Brain," She teased. "say we're friends."

He smiled wearily and she noticed fully how exhausted he looked. His pale skin looked downright pallid, his hair was plastered to his head and he looked like he could barely keep his eyes open. Just how much had the battle cost him?

 _The battle_. Darcy became suddenly aware that they were standing, making jokes while surrounded by bodies. Vivid red blood splattered the snow around her, looking brighter than blood was supposed to against the clean white flakes. She felt a chill fall over her. That was sick.

"We should go." She said, her voice falling to a cold seriousness she did not think herself capable of.

Loki nodded in agreement. "The car will not work, they will have ensured we had no escape."

"We could take one of theirs?" Darcy suggested, throwing a sceptical look at their cars. On the inside they looked pretty hi-tech.

"No." Loki said. "They could track us. We will have to go on foot."

Darcy nodded and worked in silence with Loki to find a path. They had to follow the road to Portland but they didn't want to be too close to it. They decided in the end to walk along the furthest edge of the fields surrounding the highway. The snow was thick there, it had apparently continued through the night and now that she wasn't in fear for her life she felt the chill cut through her.

Darcy was too busy wondering at how she was still able to walk, after all, the affects of the adrenaline ought to have slowed now, that she didn't see Loki lose his balance and stumble the first time.

The second, she looked up to see him lose his balance and trip forwards a few steps. She opened her mouth to make a sarcastic remark on his elegance but stopped when she saw the strain on his face.

"Loki?" She asked uncertainly instead. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Fine." He gasped before collapsing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Bastille's Daniel In The Den. I kind of wanted to post this chapter just because it was really fun to write but I don't know if I'll be able to update again this week, if I do it'll likely be Sunday. Thanks for the reviews.


	18. Where My Demons Hide

Darcy wished that she could say she crouched elegantly by him, clasping his hand in hers. When she whispered his name, his eyes would have flickered open and met hers, already a smile to be seen in them before his lips began to twitch into a grin so blindingly beautiful it would make her heart go all fuzzy.

After all, wasn't that what was supposed to happen when you have a gorgeous guy faint next to you?

Instead, Darcy swore very loudly and leant next to him desperately, panic already returning as she poked him in the cheek.

"Loki!" She said loudly. "Loki?"

No response. Her fingers searched along his neck and she tried not to think about the last time she'd looked for his pulse, before she knew him and when his beaten form lay at the entrance to SHIELD.

She sighed in relief when she felt the quick flutter of his heart beating beneath her finger tips. She leant back on her feet and forced herself to take a few steady breaths.

He was alive, she reminded herself. No immediate worries, of course she was pretty screwed if they were attacked again but she  _was_  in the middle of a field. She assumed she'd see them coming and then she would...what exactly? She grinned despite herself. She would beat them all up with her epic combat skills, she thought. Okay, so she would probably surrender...she mentally crossed her fingers hoping no one came.

No  _immediate_  threats then. It didn't take her long to realise why he'd collapsed, he'd looked exhausted. He'd had no sleep last night from what she could tell and then he'd used magic despite not being able to properly. She kind of imagined Loki using magic as the equivalent of her attempting to run a marathon, she could run yes but not to that level and if she tried she'd get hurt. So Loki would just had to recover from mental strain or the Godly magical equivalent.

But that didn't answer why she hadn't collapsed. When Loki had last used magic she'd been knocked out for three weeks and this time she didn't even feel woozy? It made her head swim just thinking about it. For not the first time she wished she was Jane, she didn't really understand much of anything but Jane would.

 _You're not Jane_ , she told herself firmly,  _wishing you were is not going to help you so why don't you try to actually think rather than just whining?_

Okay so she figured if she was out three weeks and he was out a few days last time...then he'd be out for less this time seeming as he'd been walking around for a bit afterwards rather than collapsing straight away, right? With luck he'd only need half a day's recovery.

Unfortunately, given their current situation they couldn't really afford to waste, well, any time.

Darcy looked down on him. He looked kind of peaceful, no hate or sneer on his face. No stoic expression of hidden emotions like he had when talking to her. Just...peaceful. Like he didn't have to keep secrets when he slept.

Darcy found herself smiling. He was such an idiot with his secrets. She knew he didn't think much of mortals, they were all just ants to him but he really had to stop underestimating her. He may have been an expert at lying but if so that was only because he did it so much. Her favourite moments were those when he forgot himself for a moment and a smile of genuine happiness spread across his face when he didn't have on the forefront of his mind the fact that he was supposed to despise all mortals.

She knew it was wrong but she liked that the only person he ever let his guard down for, even if it was just for a moment was her.

Thinking about it she found her fingers brushing gently against the smooth skin on his hands. She didn't want to wake him up when he looked like this.

His words rang in her head: explaining that he couldn't do magic, explaining the death threats and how he was trying to protect her. She knew the good majority of that was him not caring if she knew because she was mortal and most of the protection was covering his own back. But the fact that there was a small part, a very small part, that saw her as a friend whilst being nice was currently making her life very, very hard.

Darcy liked honesty. She liked clear boundaries and set roles. Matt was her friend. Adam had been her boyfriend. Jane was practically her sister. And Loki was what? Too many things all at once and none of them as well.

Oh God, she really didn't want to wake him up.

"Loki!" She shouted. He didn't budge. She shook his shoulder. Nothing.

She thought about it for a few minutes. The people looking for them would assume they had ran as far away as possible, they wouldn't expect them to be so close. Of course she could be wrong but the odds of Loki and her getting back to SHIELD were pretty low now anyway.

Darcy made up her mind to wait it out a few hours. It would probably be better to have a slightly more revived Loki on her side than an exhausted one. She just hoped she wouldn't freeze to death by then.

She sat by him and watched the wind ripple across the tall grass. It was mind numbingly boring and she found her thoughts wandering. She thought mainly of Jane. A heavy leaden feeling appeared in the pit of her stomach. She'd barely thought about her friend but the research facility had exploded and she'd been inside. Jan could have been hurt.

She picked at the grass. She had to trust that she hadn't. She'd been with Banner so the main problem would have been him hulking. No, she told herself, Jane had to be alive. She was Jane. And if...something had happened, she couldn't know. There was no point worrying. She had to prioritise. Focus on getting herself safe first which was pretty hard given that she was sat in a field in Oregon with an unconscious, magically exhausted God.

It was hard to tell time without a watch but she was pretty sure it was around midday now. The clouds were penetrated by a slight glow in roughly the centre which she took to be the sun.

No pain had returned in her ankle, despite her being calm by now. Well except for her various worrying. Curious, she pushed aside the sheets/bandages that were covering it. Gone was the hideous wound of before. The bruise was barely even yellow. Her eyes widened as she stared at it so she quickly pulled it back up, unable to understand what had happened.

She tried to think back to when she'd stopped feeling the pain. It was in the middle of the fight. What had happened?

Loki had told her to run...and she'd replied that she couldn't.

_No..._

He wouldn't.

No.

But the proof was before her. He'd been relatively fine with the force fields and fighting, it was after he'd said that that he'd become clumsier, more drained. No. She refused to accept it.

From behind her came a desperate gasp for breath. Loki scrambled up, panting heavily and staring around warily, his eyes eventually resting on Darcy.

She stood up too and glared at him. She ignored his weird, panicky way of waking up in favour of more important things.

"You idiot." She growled at him, fury spiking the words with venom.

He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

"You absolute idiot!" Darcy screamed, hitting his arm.

Loki took a step back. "What have I done now?" He asked.

"You fixed my ankle?" She asked, screaming. "Are you that stupid?"

He looked at her in disbelief. "Excuse me?"

"You were in the middle of a fight, Loki! And you wasted your magic on fixing my stupid ankle? Do they not have brains on Asgard?" She shouted, unbelievably annoyed. Her blood felt hot as it raced through her veins.

"I healed your ankle so that you could escape." He told her pointedly.

"I couldn't have escaped. Or have you somehow managed to forget this magical connection you're always moaning about?" She reminded him while wondering what he was hiding, he wouldn't have actually forgotten that so what was he covering for? "You were just being stupid! And say I had managed to get away, they would have had you."

"Concerned for my safety?" He asked in a mocking tone.

Yes, she thought, though she wouldn't admit that. "Newsflash," She said condescendingly. "They torture you, they torture me too."

"I healed your ankle." He stated. "Shouldn't you be thanking me?"

"Thanking you?" She repeated scornfully. She turned away. This was pointless. He wouldn't see reason anyway. "That's the last thing on my mind. You just collapsed because you stupidly decided my ankle was more important than our survival. You're so lucky we escaped or they would be the least of your problems."

"Yes, you are truly terrifying." He said sarcastically.

She glared at him. "We need to go." She said tensely, deciding to drop the subject.

"Oh I wouldn't be so sure about that." A female voice said from behind them.

Darcy span round, the voice oddly familiar.

A tall woman stood about twenty feet away from them. She was slim with an athletic build and her straight black hair pulled into a ponytail. She was evidently from Asgard with a red and gold shirt worn under armour and red boots. Her sword was drawn and so too was her shield, she was pointing both at her and Loki.

"Sif!" Darcy greeted, trying to sound happy. She remembered the goddess from the time she'd come with the warriors three to rescue Thor. They hadn't spoken much but she seemed nice. Also terrifying in a way that only Natasha Romanoff could hope to emulate.

She was glaring at Loki with pure hatred. "Darcy." She nodded, eyes not moving from Loki. Darcy felt startled; Sif had actually remembered her name? Thor hadn't even learnt her surname and he'd lived with them. "Loki." She spat.

Loki's lip curled in disdain. "Sif." He said curtly. "To what do I owe the... _pleasure?_ "

Sif's expression of hatred turned to one of anger. "You dare ask me such a question?" She fumed.

Loki looked around at the fields and rushing traffic before he smirked at her. "Well I assume you didn't come for the scenery."

"You defied the All-Father's commands." She snarled. "You evaded your punishment and-"

"I don't quite know about evaded." Loki interrupted. "Perhaps more cut short."

"So you admit that you did escape the dungeons!" Sif smirked as though she had caught him out.

Loki shrugged. "Of course. I'm merely stating that it was a reasonable action to take."

"It was not for you to decide your punishment was over." Sif said hostilely

Loki smiled. "It was not I who decided."

Sif glared at him. "Your lies and tricks will not save you." She pointed her sword at him. "I will drag you before the Allfather myself."

Darcy was pretty much terrified at this point but Loki just raised a sceptical eyebrow at Sif. "Really Sif?" He gave her a condescending smile. "So rash. Your skills were never a match for mine and you believe you can take me single-handedly back to Asgard? Tell me, who will tell Odin my location when you lie cold upon the ground a victim of your own foolishness."

Sif narrowed her eyes at him. "You think I would be so cowardly as to-"

"No Sif, I believe for once you might actually  _think_  and see that the wiser choice would be to leave."

Sif pressed her lips together. "And why would you be so willing for me to return with an army?"

Loki smiled. "Well I'm not actually going to sit around and wait for you. I shall no doubt have left this rock when you leave but it is surely still better for you to report where I was than to...well to visit Valhalla a little prematurely?"

Sif sniffed. "I will die a warrior's death. With dignity. To fall to you would disgrace me."

"Then I suggest it's not worth the risk." Loki said. Darcy was fairly sure he was bluffing. His magic was gone and he'd just been unconscious but she found herself praying that Sif accepted the bluff.

"I will return." She stated. "With the might of Asgard behind me."

Loki gave a little smug smile that even Darcy wanted to slap off his face. "I look forward to it."

"Although, if I may ask, why Midgard?" She asked.

"I thought I might seek refuge where my brother fell." He answered.

Sif's eyes narrowed suspiciously at him before eventually moving to Darcy. "You aided him?"

Darcy, whose attention had been flicking between them like she was watching a tennis game, was on the verge of saying yes when she saw Loki imperceptibly shake his head. "Ye..No. A bit. Maybe. I didn't really have much choice."

Sif looked at her suspiciously. "What do you mean?"

Darcy was saved answering by Loki stepping forwards, grinning at Sif. "She is my insurance."

Sif snapped her head back to Loki. "What do you mean?"

Loki snorted. "I thought even you might be able to sense the enchantment."

"Which enchantment?" She growled.

"A binding charm."

Sif's fingers tapped the hilt of her sword. "You dared use a binding charm upon a mortal?"

Loki shrugged. Darcy felt a bit offended. It was one thing for Loki to sneer "mortal" at her, it was expected of him. With Loki, the fact he was even talking to you was a reminder that you weren't as unimportant as he made out. Sif however made her feel utterly worthless. It was only when she realised that Sif was probably referring more to how breakable mortals were and thus how foolish it would be to have a binding charm with one rather than how useless mortals were in general that Darcy began to feel a bit better.

"You are lucky I have orders to return." Sif hissed at him. "The Allfather has us scouring the nine realms. If you try to leave we will find you."

Loki rolled his eyes. "Yes yes I'm sure. Shouldn't you be off?"

Sif smiled at him menacingly. "I look forward to seeing you bound at the Allfather's feet."

One of his eyebrows rose sleekly. "An unusual fetish though I would expect nothing less from you."

Sif glared but at that moment a bolt of light hit her. She shimmered for a moment and Darcy stared transfixed as she disappeared. A rune was left scorched onto the ground where she had been standing.

Loki's face fell. "By the nine realms..." He muttered. His eyes locked onto her and he grabbed her hand. "We must go. Now."

"What?" Darcy asked but she ran anyway so that he didn't have to pull her along so much. She had to take three steps for every one of his.

Loki looked over his shoulder before back to her, grim determination on his face. "The charm upon us has prevented Heimdall from seeing us but he will now know we are. They will be able to find us again. With any luck my brother or mother will be able to intercept Sif but we must not count on that."

"Can't you just teleport us away?" Darcy panted. He was fast.

"No." He snapped. She glared at him.

"Just because you're having problems with your magic doesn't mean you can take it out on me." She told him, already irritable due to the stitch in her side.

"My magic is the only reason we are alive right now." He retorted.

Darcy shrugged. He had a point. "That and your fighting skills. You are pretty amazing with a dagger."

"I should hope so. My fa- The Allfather insisted I learnt how to handle a weapon. Illusions he saw as little help on the battlefield."

"Really?" Darcy asked, intrigued to hear more about the life he left even if he was telling ehr while making her run. "If you trained with a dagger then how come the chitauri gave you a sceptre?"

"Oddly my weapon of choice did not come up as they tortured me." He muttered. Darcy stopped.

"What?" She managed. Loki, who'd been pulled to a halt when she stopped turned ashen though his face itself remained expressionless.

"I..." Loki started. Darcy's eyes widened and she felt tears spring to them. The shock of what he'd said was bad enough, she couldn't really handle the fact that he so obviously hadn't meant to say it.

"They tortured you?" Darcy whispered, aghast. She was still holding his hand and gazing up at him with pity. All thoughts of the following Asgardians had fled from both of their minds.

Loki swallowed and looked away. "Yes." He said at last. "They needed me to retrieve the tesseract."

"So...all that stuff that happened last year?"

"Don't." He said softly. He'd shut his eyes. She could see beads of sweat glistening on his forehead.

"Loki, please." Darcy squeezed his hand.

"You wish for me to say that it was not my fault?" He asked, a sudden harshness to his voice. "No, the actions were mine. I admit had it been for myself I would have been more subtle. I would have kept the tesseract without letting the chitauri through. I would have perhaps been less afraid of failing..." He winced and opened his eyes, turning to look at her. "The parts that bother you? The loss of life? I am afraid I cannot say that I would have cared. You may rest assured that I am still the villain your kind see me to be."

"Loki..." Darcy said. She wanted to be sympathetic. And she was, the guy had been tortured even before Odin started his punishment? No wonder he brushed it aside like it was not big deal. She'd read the documents from the invasion, he'd been practically tortured to insanity and Odin had tried to just torture him back. Darcy just wanted to keep him away from them all.

But she still couldn't stand his whole "I'm the villain" thing. He kept talking as though he was a monster and had no choice in the matter which was complete and utter bullshit.

She'd never been at such a loss for words before.

Loki smirked. "You were so keen for me to tell you, were you not?"

"I...it's good that you told me." She said. "You shouldn't keep that kind of thing to yourself. I just...I really, really wish it weren't true."

Loki looked down. He seemed to be at just as large a loss for words as she was. She almost had to refrain from smiling, of all the people to have nothing to say it never would have been them...

She wondered whether anyone had ever told him that they were sorry for what happened. She assumed it was probably a lot of shouting at him for his actions. And obviously that was necessary too but dear God, under the circumstances they couldn't just leave it at that could they?

She thought back to his self hatred...his comments...fuck. His words rang in her mind:  _Everyone kneels in the end_... _freedom is an illusion_...the way he'd winced when she said Chitauri...fuck. She really hadn't wanted to understand Loki. She really really hadn't.

Sympathy she could handle. Understanding...understanding was dangerous.

And worse yet was the thought that came unbidden into her mind that if she ever met any chitauri or the Allfather she'd probably kill them.

Her arms reached round Loki. He froze slightly, startled by her sudden affection but his arms awkwardly patted her back in response. She smiled against his chest. He'd hugged her earlier and seemed perfectly fine with it and now he was acting like a twelve year old boy who'd just discovered what girls were.

So calm and in control all the time except for when she surprised him.

He gave surprisingly good hugs, she thought.

Fuck, she thought again. She pulled away. She'd enjoyed that hug far too much.

"You really didn't deserve all that." She told him. It was a little sappy for her but she felt like she had to because she doubted anyone else ever had.

"Yes well..." He obviously hadn't expected that. He struggled to regain his composure. "I suggest we keep walking unless you wish for the Allfather to continue what he-"

"Oh my God!" Darcy shrieked, interrupting him. She started hitting his arm excitedly. "Look!"

He looked at her in confusion before turning to look at the plane that was flying in the sky behind him. It was large and black, definitely not your average airline.

"Is that a SHIELD logo?" She asked him excitedly.

"Darcy," He turned to her intently. He sounded rushed, did he not understand that they were safe? "There is something you must know."

"What?" She asked, slightly distracted by the fact the plane was landing right in front of them. Wheels unfurled from the plane as it aimed for the field in front of them.

"When we are taken back to SHIELD, they will probably-"

His words were drowned by the plane touching ground and rushing along the field. It screeched to a stop in front of them. No sooner had the plane stopped than a ramp was being lowered. A man in a suit stood silhouetted against the open doorway. But that was impossible.

The man walked forwards.

No. She was imagining it.

He removed his sunglasses and lifted his watch to his mouth.

"That's right, sir." He said speaking into it and looking at her and Loki with satisfaction. "We've got them."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Imagine Dragons' Demons (because that song is perfect for this fic). I know some of you won't like the whole torture thing but there's no way, in my opinion, that he couldn't have been from the state he was in when he came through the tesseract. Either way I probably won't mention it again. Thanks for the reviews and your patience in my updating.


	19. Questions of Science

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Song title from Coldplay's The Scientist. Yeah...please excuse the science in this...AS biology is the extent to my scientific knowledge but I figure if Thor: The Dark World can get away with "gravitational thingies" then I can have magic is energy. As always thanks for reading and reviewing, somedays they're all that keeps me writing.

"Miss Lewis," Agent Coulson said, walking forwards down the ramp. "I believe you are supposed to be in New Mexico."

"And I believe you are supposed to be dead." Darcy replied, still unsure of whether he was actually standing in front of her or not.

Coulson smiled at her. "A little trick of Fury's to motivate the avengers." Two people came running out on either side of Coulson as his eyes moved to Loki.

Before Darcy knew what was happening, they were either side of him, one of them yanking his arms back and the other slapping a pair of handcuffs onto them.

Loki, to her surprise was making no attempt to resist them and instead had the bored look to his face that he normally had at SHIELD.

"Ward?" Darcy asked, her mouth gaping involuntarily as she recognised one of the people arresting Loki. The other was a woman with long dark hair wearing a leather SHIELD uniform.

The man's eyes flickered up briefly before returning to Loki whom having been firmly cuffed was being led forward, the two agents holding one of his arms each.

Darcy ran to keep up with them. "What the hell are you doing?" Darcy asked Coulson, gesturing to Loki.

"It's standard procedure." Coulson said, staring down his sunglasses at Loki. "I wish I could say it was a pleasure to see you again."

Loki looked at him questioningly. "Have we met?"

Darcy rolled her eyes. Of course he remembered Coulson. Stupid God of lies.

"Met isn't the word I would use." Coulson answered calmly. "You shish-kebabed me and I blasted you through a wall." Three more people had arrived in the doorway, all of them watching the confrontation.

Loki raised an eyebrow. "I'm afraid that's really not worth my remembering."

"Yeah well we'll see how you feel in a few hours." He turned to the people whose hands were clamped on either of Loki's arms. "Take him to the cells." The two agents led him into the plane, Ward glancing up briefly to meet the eyes of one of the standing women who gave him a nervous smile.

Darcy turned to Coulson. "Why are you arresting him?"

He took his sunglasses off before he answered, slipping the pair into his pocket. "Miss Lewis, the compound in New Mexico was attacked. Fourteen people died-"

"What?" Darcy interrupted, her heart skipping a beat.

"Don't worry. Miss Foster is fine." Relief flooded through her but it didn't stop her worrying about Matt or Adam or...well everyone really. "The attackers seemed to be searching for him," Coulson continued. "And he promptly disappeared. You understand that these are suspicious circumstances."

"But he didn't organise it!" Darcy replied, fighting to remain calm. "He just let us escape! If you need more proof of that you'll find about twenty of the attackers dead about half a mile that way."

She pointed down the field. Coulson followed her gaze and tapped a few buttons onto his watch. "I've called it in. Don't worry." He said reassuringly. "It's only a two hour flight to New Mexico. It's a very fast plane and the cells are quite comfortable, a lot more than he deserves."

Darcy scowled but didn't push the subject further. She didn't need more rumours flying over her attachment to Loki.

"Now come on board. We should probably get you checked over in the medical wing." He looked up at the crowd. "Fitzsimmons, would you show Miss Lewis the way please?"

She threw a quick glare at Coulson but walked up the ramp as two people stepped forwards.

"Yeah come on," A woman said. She was quite tall and had a pleasant English accent. It made her think of Loki though.  _He is not your responsibility_  she told herself. He'd be fine, she was just annoyed because he'd saved her life and everyone was treating him...well like a criminal.

"We'll show you the way." The man said, his accent Scottish.

"I don't need a medical check up." She snapped at Coulson.

"It's standard procedure." He said. Darcy rolled her eyes but followed Fitzsimmons, who were apparently two separate people, up the ramp anyway.

The labs were only a minute away. They were smaller than Darcy was used to but still their effect was comforting. She knew barely anything about science but she knew labs and the familiar surrounding was nice. She vaguely wondered if that was how Loki felt in a cell and made a mental note never to ask him if she didn't want to leave the conversation in a body bag.

Fitzsimmons shrugged on lab coats as they entered and Darcy stood awkwardly at the side.

"Just sit down here." The woman said, tapping a low counter in the middle of the room. Even so, Darcy had to jump a little bit to reach it. "I'm Simmons by the way. That's Fitz."

Fitz looked up from the cabinet he'd opened and gave her a quick wave. Simmons was smiling so much she thought her face might break.

"Hi." Darcy greeted with an anxious grin. Her anger was fading into contentment. So what Loki was in a cell? It was unjust but it was only for a few hours. At least they were safe. Better in a cell alive than on the run from people intent on killing you.

The plane suddenly jolted and Darcy clung onto the edges of the table. "What was that?" She asked, her voice rising to an incredibly high pitch.  
The plane was now shuddering.

"Oh just take off." Simmons told her.

"You hardly feel it on this plane." Fitz added.

"Oh." Darcy said, slightly embarrassed at how she'd reacted. "Okay." She let go of the table edge and tried not to blush.

"So we're just going to run a few tests." Simmons said.

"Nothing to worry about." Fitz added.

"They're all standard procedure."

"We do them all the time."

"Despite neither of us being Doctors."

"Hmm we do a surprising amount of medical work for two scientists."

"We should get paid extra."

"Anyway..."

"Shall we begin?" Simmons finished at last. Darcy's eyes had widened slightly. It was official. All scientists were insane.

"Uh sure." Darcy answered.

Fitz picked up a rod which was glowing purple slightly and waved it up and down in front of her. Darcy felt slightly self conscious with them both staring at her like that. They seemed nice, she supposed...in moderation.

"So, you work for Dr Foster?" Simmons asked, picking up a tablet.

"Well with her..." Darcy answered. Technically Jane had higher clearance but given that without Darcy Jane would probably still be moping over Thor she wasn't willing to reduce her role to that.

"Ahh she is so amazing." Fitz said, giving Darcy a final wave.

"Her theories on the Einstein Rosen bridge are inspired." Simmons added, tapping something on the block. "Umm would you mind letting us see your ankle, please?"

Darcy's eyebrows lifted in surprise. "Okay." She said, pulling off her boot.

"And Foster Theory was pure genius." Fitz continued.

"Yeah she's great." Darcy said fondly, resisting the urge to make a comment on her ability to focus on anything other than science or Thor. It hadn't even been twenty four hours and Darcy just really missed her.

Simmons was bending over her ankle, unwrapping the bandages. "These have practically been professionally done."

"Yeah Loki did them." Darcy replied. Fitz and Simmons froze and looked at her in shock.

"He bandaged your ankle?" Fitz asked.

"Loki?" Simmons added.

"As in Destroyer-of-New-York-Loki?"

"Bandaged your ankle?"

"Really?" They asked in unison.

Darcy bit back a smile. Fitz and Simmons ought to either hate each other or love each other. Watching them, Darcy decided it was definitely the latter. And it was the kind of slow moving adorable love where they held hands and went on dates and did cute stuff like that. Or as Darcy liked to refer to it, the love that sounds great in theory until you get horny.

"Yeah." Darcy said. "He's really not that bad."

"Not that bad?" Fitz stuttered.

"Well to me." Darcy ventured. She wasn't sure if they had the clearance to know about the charm or not.

"Oh yes." Simmons said. "The magic thing."

Fitz looked at her curiously. "I forgot about that."

"I wonder if there is any sign of it."

"We could run a few tests?"

"Ohh the radio-"

"Guys!" Darcy interrupted. "I'm right here! And I'm not a science experiment!"

"Oh right." Said Simmons.

"Sorry."Added Fitz.

Darcy rolled her eyes.  _Scientists_.

"Can I ask you guys something?" Darcy asked. "How did you find Loki and I anyway?"

"Oh well," Fitz said excitedly. "We picked up some unusual energy patterns over here about the same time as the explosion and were sent to check them out. We ended up in this wood or something." Darcy tried not to look like this meant anything to her but it looked like they'd gone to the same one her and Loki had ended up in. "Then we got the message that you and Loki were missing and we thought it might have something to do with it so we kind of just circled the area until we saw this gold beam leading to a field near where we found you."

So they'd seen Sif too. Or her transport at least.

Darcy looked curiously over at Simmons who'd been surprisingly quiet for all of Fitz's speech.

She was looking from Darcy's ankle to the tablet while Fitz measured her pulse with a metal thing on her wrist.

"This is really odd." Simmons told Fitz. He moved over to look at the tablet.

"Umm sorry? What's odd?" Darcy asked, tying to keep her voice at a steady pitch. That was kind of the last thing she wanted to hear while having a medical examination.

Fitz's eyebrows had furrowed as he stared at the screen and the corners of Simmons' mouth were turned down thoughtfully.

"We could try x-rays?" Fitz suggested.

"Or an MRI scan?"

"Blood samples?"

"Cell scanning?"

"Or," Darcy interrupted. "You could tell me what is going on?"

They shared a look of worry before turning to her.

"You appear to be radiating energy." Simmons told her.

Darcy scowled in confusion. "So?" That didn't really mean much to her but she did know a bit from high school physics and just generally hanging around Jane and Selvig. Wasn't, like, everything energy? Light and heat and stuff? All humans radiated that. "It's not nuclear is it?"

"Well that's the thing..." Fitz said awkwardly, absently scratching at his wrist.

"It's not anything." Simmons added, looking at the tablet.

Darcy narrowed her eyes at them. "So I'm radiating energy but it's not anything?"

"Oh I'm sorry." Simmons said worriedly. "We didn't really explain that very well did we?"

"Not really, no." Darcy replied. She found she couldn't really get worked up about it. She'd just had the weirdest twenty four hours of her life. Why not add radiation to the mix? It worked out pretty well for Banner...

"Well we have readings for radiation. All the different types seem to be about average for a normal human." Fitz explained. "The thing is, the total is a lot higher than it should be. It's like there's another type being picked up but not identified."

"Very similar to the energy we detected in the forest. It's present everywhere." Simmons said, gesturing to Darcy. "Although there does seem to be a heavier concentration around your ankle but all I could find was some faint bruising which definitely wouldn't be responsible for it."

"Umm." Darcy started, a blush threatening to creep into her cheeks. "My ankle got injured in the explosion. Loki kinda healed it." She winced as they looked at her in shock again. If they'd barely been able to handle the news of Loki bandaging her ankle they were completely startled by the fact that Loki had used magic to heal it.

 _Loki,_  she thought absently _, why can't you just act how we'd all expect you to?  
_

She realised that would mean mass destruction and quickly amended it to  _behaviour they wouldn't find shocking.  
_

They looked at each other as though to check the other one was just as surprised as they were before returning to Darcy. Simmons swallowed.

"Well...that could explain it." Simmons said then began to smile and looked excitedly at Fitz. "What if we could identify it?"

Fitz frowned at her. "Why would we mess around with magic?"

"But imagine if we could isolate it and-"

"Jemma the last time we went near anything like that you almost died!"

Simmons sighed. "Oh Fitz, that was one time!"

"Twice!" Fitz retorted, staring at Simmons like she was insane. "You almost died twice! Once from that virus and once from jumping out of the plane!"

Wait? Scientist Simmons jumped out of the plane? Woah. Darcy wondered what freaky circumstances lead to that but after her experience with SHIELD decided some things were better left unsaid.

Simmons rolled her eyes and turned away, arms folded. "Just imagine if we could manipulate it." She said, back still turned.

"It's too much." Fitz argued. "At least right away, we'd have to do some serious energy research first. Get in touch with Stark and Selvig."  
Simmons span. "So you think we should do it?"

Darcy observed their conversation like it was happening on TV.

Fitz's lips pressed into a thin line. "We could look into it." He said reluctantly.

Simmons practically squealed. Darcy grinned, another thing which was familiar: scientists getting excited over science.

"And kiss." Darcy said. Both of them jumped as though they'd forgotten she was there before looking at each other and then away again, blushing. Darcy smirked. They were cute together.

"You can put your boot back on now." Simmons told her, seemingly suddenly realising that Darcy was still there. Fitz looked at her too as she reached for her shoe, she could feel their eyes on her.

She zipped up her boot and when she looked up she saw that Fitz was fumbling with a thin silver rod while Simmons rummaged through a different cabinet. So they hadn't been watching her...Darcy picked at the hem of her jumper. There was a slight chance she'd become ever so slightly paranoid in the last day. Or maybe it was since Loki. Either way she figured someone as hyper as her really didn't need paranoia as well.

"This may hurt slightly." Fitz said, gingerly picking up her hand and pricking her index finger with the silver rod. Darcy almost laughed. After having her ankle crushed that was nothing.

Darcy had warmed up a bit since entering the plane but the cold from the metal table was now seeping through her jeans.

A screen in the top corner of the room flicked on and the three of them looked up. The dark haired woman who'd arrested Loki was on screen, not looking at it but at somewhere slightly to the right.

She had a headset on and was busy doing what looked like flying the plane. Darcy severely hoped she was wrong about that. The last thing she needed was their pilot delivering the in flight entertainment.

Fitz and Simmons looked at each other in confusion and then back up to the screen.

"I didn't know she could do that, did you?" Fitz whispered to Simmons.

"Nope." Simmons answered.

"How long have you been on this plane?" Darcy asked in dismay.

"A month." Simmons answered.

Darcy shook her head in dismay. Was this what Coulson had spent his 'not being dead' time doing?

"Is everyone listening?" The woman on screen demanded.

"Yes." Ward's voice sounded.

"Uh yeah?" A woman's voice asked uncertainly and Darcy wondered if Fitzsimmons were the only ones who didn't know about this feature of the plane.

"I'm here." Coulson said.

Fitz and Simmons looked at each other. "Yes?" Simmons asked hopefully. Her voice echoed back from the screen.

"Oh great we're being listened to." Darcy muttered, if there was one thing that had been nice about being on the run it was not having to worry about what they said in case someone listened in.

"We had a message from SHIELD headquarters. We need to go to New York after New Mexico." The woman said.

"Stark?" Coulson asked.

"Yes. An emergency apparently though we aren't needed immediately." The woman said. "We should be fine to go to New Mexico first as long as nothing changes. Especially given our current passenger." Darcy somehow didn't think they were talking about her.

"Details?" Ward asked.

"I'll patch them through, one moment." She answered.

The screen flickered and she was gone. In her place were several rectangles of footage showing some kind of fight. Iron Man like suits were flying round fighting actual people in the top corner. The people were glowing orange and fighting with, well, fire. They seemed practically indestructible jumping back up whenever they were knocked over and regrowing body parts even as they were blasted off.

Along the edge a figure in another of the metal suits was strung over a vat of oil, long strands of rope connecting him to the scaffolding on either side. A man was running along the edge, trying to untie the ropes. Darcy couldn't be sure but she thought the person in the suit looked an awful lot like the president.

There was text in the central panel but Darcy was too far away to read it. She felt slightly guilty for trying because she was certain she didn't have the clearance but...well she'd always been too curious for her own good. In fact she probably wasn't supposed to be seeing this at all.

And along the bottom more of the robots or suits were swarming but this time it was around three people. They were all beaten and bloodied. One looked like Tony Stark but he wasn't in his iron man suit. His presence explained the rest of the suits, at least. One of them didn't make any sense. It looked like Pepper Potts in yoga pants and glowing red but...that really really didn't make any sense whatsoever. Pepper was far too business minded for that. Darcy had only met her a few times and that was one fact of which she was certain. The third person seemed to be half fire, as Darcy watched the Pepper looking one attacked him. Definitely not Pepper then.

Darcy glanced at Fitz and Simmons who both looked just as confused as Darcy felt. Last she'd heard Stark was presumed dead, now he was in the middle of some kind of battle with mutants?

When did life stop making sense?

The screen flickered back to the original person.

"May, can you send me the information?" Coulson asked.

"And me." Ward added.

"And me." The female voice added.

"You don't have the clearance for this, Skye." Coulson told her.

"I don't have the clearance for anything and yet here I am, on this plane!" She retorted.

"Skye, do you have to do this over the intercoms?" Ward sighed.

"You want to do this in person?" Skye said cheerily. "Great."

"The information," May interrupted, annoyed. "Is being sent to those of you with clearance. Which would be everyone but Skye. And Darcy." She added as an afterthought.

Darcy scowled. She could hardly wave the information in front of her then deny it.

The screen clicked off.

"Did he say May?" Darcy asked Fitzsimmons. "As in Melinda May? As in The Cavalry?"

"Yeah she kind of flies the plane." Fitz said.

"You have The Cavalry as a pilot? As in the woman that trained Romanoff?"

"That's the one." Simmons said. Her eyes flickered quickly to Fitz. "Um Darcy?"

Darcy's eyes narrowed at her suspiciously. "Yeah?"

"Well your medical is done." Fitz said.

"And we kind of have some information to go through." Simmons added.

"Information that you don't have clearance to."

"So umm would you mind..."

"Leaving?" Fitz asked cautiously.

Darcy tried not to laugh. "You mean you can't tell me what's going on and want me to leave so you can discuss it? It's fine. Believe me, it's really not my first time." She hopped off of the table.

"Thanks." Simmons said.

"We'll show you to the common room." Fitz said.

"Skye should be there. You can hang out with her." Simmons said with a smile as they walked down the halls. They clearly both felt bad about Darcy having to leave so she couldn't feel too annoyed with her.

Fitz stopped outside a door and inserted a card from his pocket. "Well here we go."

"It was nice to meet you." Simmons said.

"Yeah you too." Darcy replied.

"See you." Fitz said. They walked away and Darcy could hear them talking science. She smiled and rolled her eyes.  _Scientists_  she thought in exasperation.


	20. Enough To Be Dumbstruck

"Look, you'll get clearance gradually. You can hardly expect to be given access to all of SHIELDs secrets in a few months. Especially given your background." Darcy heard Ward say.

"I get that but everyone else on this plane has access. I'm part of this team too." A female voice answered. Darcy supposed it was Skye as May was flying the plane and Simmons was British.

"And we all trust you." Ward said sternly. "But that doesn't mean you can expect the rest of SHIELD to."

The woman sighed.

"I have to go read the files now, I'll see you later." Darcy heard another door in the room shut.

Happy to have avoided walking in on that confrontation Darcy waited a moment and pushed open the door. The room had the usual curved white edges of a plane but wooden walls separating it from the other rooms. It was bright with lights practically everywhere and white fabric sofas and chairs. In fact the whole place looked like it was either white or dark wood, ultra modern like how Darcy would have expected Tony Stark's plane to look. It was a nice change after the blueness of the lab.

A woman about Darcy's own age sat with her legs stretched out on the sofa, typing something on her laptop. She looked up as she heard the door open and smiled.

"Hey you must be Darcy." She grinned. "I'm Skye."

"Hey um," Darcy started, having trouble thinking of anything other than how awesome the plane was. "I just finished with Fitzsimmons and-"

"And they freaked you out so much you ran to better company? I get that a lot." Skye joked, she put her laptop down next to her and gestured to the seats.

Darcy sat in one of the chairs near her.

Darcy smiled. "Unfortunately I'm way too used to hanging around erratic scientists. But no they sent me here because they had to read that information we're not allowed to see."

"You don't have clearance either?" Skye asked.

"I'm level one." Darcy said. "Need to know only. You?"

"I'm not even that." Skye said. "I'm on probation." She waved her arm where a silver bracelet glittered. Darcy recognised it as a tracking device some of the agents sometimes used.

"Wow." Darcy said. She didn't even know SHIELD did probation, she was under the impression it was kind of a one chance or you're out place. "What did you do?"

Skye shrugged. "It's a long story. I used to work for this group, The Rising Tide." Darcy's eyes widened. "After I left them they kind of did some stuff. We had to hunt them down but uh...my boyfriend still worked for them. I warned him and I uh got caught."

Darcy tried not to convey any emotion. Having just been in several life threatening situations she was prepared to be annoyed at anyone with any connection with that group. Not that she knew they were behind it but they could have been.

Skye seemed nice though so she cast around for something else in what she'd said to comment on. "You have a boyfriend?"

"Ex." Skye said firmly.

 _Yeah I'll bet_ , Darcy thought, thinking of Skye and Ward.

"Anyway, I'm glad you're here actually." Skye said. "I read through your file and-"

"You read my what?" Darcy asked. She wasn't even aware she had a file.

"Your SHIELD file." Skye said. "It said you hacked SHIELD when you were in Norway."

"Umm maybe a bit." Darcy said blushing. Breaking into SHIELD was really not her proudest moment but they'd been desperate.

"Impressive. Do you know much about programming?" Skye asked.

"Really no." Darcy answered. "I just used some stuff I learnt at college. I did the website design for student societies and stuff."

"And that helped you hack SHIELD?" Skye asked looking seriously impressed. Darcy smiled, while she wasn't necessarily proud that she  _had_  hacked SHIELD, she was proud that she was  _able_. Like an "I tasered Thor" kind of proudness. "Wow, it took me like five years. That's how I got on SHIELD's radar. I hacked them." Skye said bluntly.

Darcy's eyes widened in understanding. "Are you telling me that they put two of the only people to successfully hack SHIELD in a room together after telling them they weren't allowed access to really cool information?"

"That's exactly what I'm saying." Skye said with a mischievous grin that reminded her of Loki. She wondered how he was doing in the cell but figured two hours to an immortal God was nothing. "So what do you say? Fancy some access to that stuff we're not supposed to know about?"

"Yeah!" Darcy said excitedly. "Umm I don't think I'll be much help though."

Skye shrugged. "Maybe but at least if it's both of us then it's shared blame." She patted the sofa next to her and budged up to make room for Darcy who got up to sit next to her.

Skye pushed her laptop over so that Darcy could see what she was doing.

Darcy was right. She wasn't much help. What Skye was doing was well beyond Darcy's level of skill. Norway hadn't been hard because literally every communication in SHIELD was about what was happening in New York, clearly this stuff was a lot more discreet and a lot harder to get into.

The laptop screen was a blur of black and green as Skye typed. Occasionally she'd get stuck and pause or groan and start again. Darcy was content to watch in amazement. Why was everyone so talented when Darcy's only skill was making killer playlists?

After about half an hour Skye swore and shoved her laptop onto the coffee table angrily.

"I can't get onto it." She fumed. "It's too well protected."

"Well you got further than I ever would be able to." Darcy said in an attempt to cheer Skye up. "What is it you were doing, anyway?" She added curiously.

Skye pushed her hair back in annoyance. "I was hacking into the core of the network, where the information is stored. It's like a maze. I'd need to write a program to crack it and even then it would take at least a few days and that's without the security codes changing every few seconds."

Darcy bit her lip for a moment, she had an idea but Skye knew about a gazillion times more about computers than she did, she didn't want to sound stupid.

Then she decided that sounding stupid wouldn't exactly be a first for her. "What if you could hack someone who had access to the information rather than the information itself?"

Skye's eyes widened momentarily before breaking into a grin so big it made Fitzsimmons look grumpy. "Darcy that's...that's brilliant!" She told her before reaching for her laptop and typing rapidly.

Darcy smiled happily.  _Brilliant_. She could get used to that.

"We're in!" Skye squealed. Darcy leant over to read the words that now filled the space on the monitor.

It was a load of stuff about Stark. From what Darcy understood, a lot of it required previous knowledge or understanding which she didn't have, The Mandarin was a cover from some group called Extremis who'd been genetically engineering people with side effects of them blowing up. The president had been attacked and apparently, Pepper had been kidnapped and turned into one of them and Stark had attacked a load of them with Christmas baubles.

Darcy would have thought she would be used to weirdness by now.

She kept reading, the footage now making sense until she reached one sentence that was just too weird.  _Preliminary medical tests on Stark suggest he may be suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder._  Tony Stark? PTSD? Darcy felt her eyebrows rise. The people with mental illnesses always surprised her... _nope...not going to think about that_ , she told herself.  _Nope nope. Think of Christmas baubles._

"I used to think that the public needed to know all the information SHIELD kept secret." Skye told Darcy. "Now that I'm a part of SHIELD I realise that some things are definitely better kept secret."

"You regret reading it?" Darcy asked with a smirk.

"No." The other woman said with a grin. "No I want to know but could you imagine how much the public would freak out if they knew all this stuff had happened?"

"True." Darcy conceded, her thoughts wandering to a certain other person whose involvement in a certain attempt at world domination had been hidden from the public. "Sometimes secrets are necessary."

"That was genius though. You think like a hacker. If you ever want to learn I'll happily show you." Skye closed her laptop. "Right. If they ask we didn't read it."

Darcy's insides squirmed in slight alarm. She'd somehow managed to forget the fact that what they were doing would get them into a load of trouble if they were caught. Not that it would have stopped her but she really had to stop being so impulsive or it would get her too many problems.

"Oh...What would happen if they found out?" She wasn't that worried for herself, oddly Loki was as much her leverage as she was his. Skye however was already on probation.

She waved the question away as though it were unimportant. "Oh I'll probably get an "I'm disappointed in you" from Coulson and shouted at by Ward."

The corner's of Darcy's lips were tugging into a slight smile. "You spend a lot of time with Ward?"

"Quite a lot I guess. He's my supervising officer."

"Mmmhmm. And I'm sure that's all he is." Darcy said with a pointed look at Skye. "What?" Skye asked quickly. "What else would he be?"

"Puh-lease." Darcy said. "You and Ward are perfect together."

"Ward?" Skye repeated, aiming for disgust but Darcy didn't believe her.

"So you have Fitzsimmons. Are you two Skyeward? Skard?"

"No!" Skye protested. "I mean, don't get me wrong I like him but he's got an emotional wall the size of the empire state building."

Darcy tried not to grin. She knew another guy who fit that description. "Yeah but he totally likes you." She argued.

"How would you even know? You've been here like half an hour."

Darcy grinned. "I notice things. And I've met him before. The most arrogant person I've ever met. Flirts with anything that moves."

"Ward? Grant Ward?" Skye asked. "Have we met the same person?"

"See that's my point. He's still arrogant obviously, same aloofness in that 'my job is more important than yours' kind of way."

"That's not fair," Skye argued. "It kind of is and you don't know his past."

Darcy smirked. "Are you defending him?"

Skye bit her lip to stop from smiling. "See, you do like him." Darcy said.

"No no." Skye muttered but they both knew she wasn't being entirely truthful. "But even so, he doesn't like me.  _Like like_ me that is."

Darcy leant back in her chair. "See this is my point. Something's changed in Ward. He's gone from 'I save the world everyday, you're welcome, now adore me' to 'I save the world everyday but please don't mention it' and let me tell you that kind of change does not come easily. I'd say something had happened to him." She grinned at Skye. "Or someone."

"That's ridiculous." Skye said, her gaze dropping to the floor.

"The last time I met him he told me he knew over seven hundred karate moves but that he'd saved a few moves of a different kind just for me."

"Eww he said that?"

"Yep. And now he's barely glanced at me. But you should see the way he looks at you."

Skye smiled and shook her head. "I guess you'd know all about guys who hide their emotions. After all, yours is in a cell right?"

Darcy felt her eyebrows rise. She hadn't expected this change in the conversation. "Loki? Just a friend."

"Oh he so is not." Skye argued, grinning now that it was her turn.

"Honestly, the guy-" What? She'd been about o make a reference to his craziness or his moodiness but she'd got past that to be friends with him. She didn't really care herself and if anyone else had said it she would have defended him. Darcy just wasn't mean about her friends. Well in a non jokey way at least...

"Just no..." She said rather pathetically.

"You are so into him." Skye grinned at her.

Darcy felt herself blush. "I'm not."

"The way you defended him to Coulson?"

"The way I'd defend a friend!" Darcy protested.

"Coulson goes on about that guy like, at least once a day. 'I got stabbed!' 'I almost died!'" She said, imitating Coulson in an over the top low voice. "From what I hear, even befriending him is impressive."

"Yeah but that's it. That's all there is to it." Darcy told her.

Skye smirked at her again. "Nuh uh. Even talking about him your eyes are lighting up."

"They are not." Darcy said with an eye roll, now Skye was just being ridiculous.

"They are. And you can't deny that your cheeks are." Skye pointed out and Darcy felt herself blush more. "He likes you too."

"Okay now you're definitely wrong."

"So I wasn't before?" Skye said with a laugh at the look of horror on Darcy's face. "Doesn't he like, hate everyone? If he has ever shown you the slightest moment of affection, the slightest weakness, anything at all then it means he cares for you a heck of a lot more than you are willing to believe."

Darcy shook her head. "That doesn't mean a thing."

Skye smiled knowingly. "You have a crush on him."

"I don't." Darcy said, again. Even as she said it though she felt his arms around her, his breath on her cheek as he spoke to her. She could smell the intoxicating mix of his leather and soap and sweat. She could hear his taunting as he helped her fire a gun. She saw him smile and remembered every time she'd ever felt like she could drown in his gorgeous laugh or get lost in his eyes.

_Shit.  
_

_Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit._

"Shit" She said out loud as though containing that one thought was too much.

"Fuck." Skye said next to her, copying her tone exactly. The women looked at each other in horror.

"I think I have a crush on Ward." Skye said as though this statement was horrifying.

"There's a slight possibility that I like Loki." Darcy said, Skye's confession prompting her own.

"We're screwed." Skye said.

"Well...not yet." Darcy replied, unable to resist the perfect opportunity.

"Darcy!" Skye said, shocked before they both dissolved into laughter. "Oh my God I can't believe this."

"I...how..." Darcy managed.

"I need a drink." Skye said, walking over to a cabinet at the side. "You want one?"

"Oh god yes." Darcy answered, needing anything to get that thought out of her mind. Liking Loki was like that embarrassing crush you had when you were twelve only worse because you ought to have a reasonable opinion by the time you were an adult.  _Fuck_.

She started pacing the plane, unable to remain seated.

"What do you want?"

"The strongest thing you've got." Darcy answered. Skye pulled out two glasses and filled them with an amberish liquid.

"I need to distract myself." Skye said.

"A distraction. Good." Darcy answered. Why the hell had this revelation panicked her so much? Was it really because he had such a poor reputation?

Well partly, a part in her brain admitted. Mostly it was the fact that Loki was off limits. Not because of his actions but because he would never ever like her back. She was like a pet to him. Someone he was slightly fond of. Someone utterly beneath him, in his stupid mind at least. And most importantly someone he would happily cast away should he have to.

He'd saved her but he'd had no choice. They had that magic thing.

If he could have escaped SHIELD, with his magic restored, Darcy had no doubt in her mind that he would.

That calmed her slightly. Loki was never going to like her. At least she didn't have to put up with the constant "what ifs." and "maybes".  
Skye handed her a glass.

"To shitty crushes." Darcy said, raising it.

"Too true." Skye said, knocking hers against Darcy's. They both took a few large sips.

Darcy continued pacing. "This just makes no sense. I don't get crushes."

"Me neither." Skye said. "Normally by the time I like guys they already like me so we go straight to dating."

But that wasn't true for Darcy. She chose her boys based on difficulty and looks, getting bored of them just as quickly as she could get into them.

And how did she feel towards Loki? She really wasn't sure. There was definitely something there. A warm fuzzy feeling of safety and happiness that she got when she thought of him. An almost giddy feeling.

But if she couldn't define her feelings then maybe they didn't matter? She could definitely put up with the butterflies if they were it.

Comforted by the fact her feelings for him weren't as great as she'd feared, she took a few more sips.

She'd have to get rid of the crush or whatever it was, though. Like she'd realised earlier, he would never feel anything so what point was there to her liking him? And even worse was the fact that the feeling made her feel vulnerable and she didn't like that. Not at all.

She liked not needing anyone. She didn't want a relationship. She looked at couples who are so sappily in love, hello Jane and Thor, that they practically come apart when they are away from each other. Why on Earth would Darcy risk that?

She finished her glass.

"So what are you going to do?" Darcy asked Skye.

Skye took a long gulp. "See if I can work out if he likes me back? I mean I'm not too bothered, I came here to find out about my parents, they worked for SHIELD. I have more priorities than romance. What about you?"

"Try to get out more. Apparently only seeing one guy," Darcy deigned not to include any SHIELD employees in this. "For months is not good for my judgement."

"Sounds good. More alcohol?" Skye asked as she too finished her drink. At that moment, however, the plane juddered like it had earlier. "Oh we're landing." Skye said, taking Darcy's glass and placing it on the side.

The door opened and Coulson walked in. His eyes wandered to the empty glasses on the side. "You look like you've been having fun."

"Oh yeah, a party." Skye muttered. Darcy tried not to smile.

"Well we've landed." Coulson told her. "I'm afraid I'll have to escort you into the compound, Miss Lewis. We just have a few questions to ask you."

"Seriously? You think I attacked SHIELD?"

"If we thought that then you would be in a cell right now rather than in here." He said.

"Wait, you don't think that Loki did it do you?" Darcy asked. 'Standard procedure' her ass, she'd been a fool to trust them.

"We have a few questions to ask him too." Coulson said. "We think it more likely he had something to do with it than you did though honestly we do not believe either of you played a part. We only put him in a cell because of his dangerous past."

Darcy rolled her eyes. SHIELD were more than happy to use Loki for his help in the labs but they'd still rather he stayed in a cell. They were such hypocrites.

"I guess this is goodbye then." Skye said, interrupting them and looking at Coulson with an expression almost identical to her own "be nice!" face she often gave Loki. "I hope I see you again soon. This was fun."

"Yeah, you too." Darcy said, meaning it too. Despite their topic of conversation, she quite liked Skye.

"Miss Lewis if you'd like to come this way." Coulson said. Darcy sighed and followed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Bastille's The Silence. I wrote this before the second half of the agents of shield series so some stuff may not fit in with new developments. I probably won't be able to update again until next week because I have a load of school work but thank you for reading and reviewing.
> 
> Also no more Agents of Shield heavy chapters for those of you who don't watch it.


	21. Show Me Proof

Coulson led Darcy back to the ramp off of the plane. It opened into a bright white room. She couldn't quite understand how they'd managed to fly inside but supposed it must have been some space garage or something. It looked pretty similar to the car park at SHIELD but it was full of helicopters and planes.

"This is the New Mexico base?" Darcy asked, trying to take in as much of the unexplored part of the building as she could.

Coulson smiled. "I assure you it is New Mexico."

"Umm wasn't the New Mexico base kind of, sort of, destroyed?" Darcy asked.

"Part of it." Coulson answered. "I'm sure Director Fury will explain the rest."

"Fury?" Darcy asked. "Here?"

"He will be conducting your interrogation." Coulson informed her, leading her towards the lift at the end of the room.

" _Interrogation_?" Darcy glared at him. "So much for a 'few' questions."

Coulson smiled. "It's just-"

"I swear to God if you say 'standard procedure' one more time I will personally get Loki to kill you. Successfully this time." She muttered.

Coulson laughed. They stepped into the elevator.

"Speaking of Loki," Darcy continued. "Where is he?"

"He'll be escorted just after you." Coulson said.

Darcy nodded and the doors opened.

"Darcy!" A voice said and then she couldn't see because there was a load of fabric in the way as the owner of the voice hugged her.

"Matt?" Darcy asked, hugging him back. "Oh thank God you're okay."

"Me?" He asked, pulling away and placing his arms on her shoulders as he scrutinised her. "Darcy you have no idea how worried we all were."

"I didn't know...Is everyone okay? The explosion?" She asked.

"No one you know was killed." Matt said. His voice strained a little as he spoke so she assumed that he knew someone even if she didn't. Her hand covered one of his on her shoulder reassuringly. He smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. "Dan did break his leg, however. He's off for a few months to recover. We are all greatly upset about this, of course."

"A real shame." Darcy said with a grin.

"Are you all right though?" Matt asked, his eyes running over her anxiously as though expecting her to start bleeding at any moment.

"I had a medical on board. No injuries." She answered.

"That's not what I asked." He told her, staring at her intently.

She squirmed uncomfortably, not really wanting to say it but opening her mouth to tell him about the attack. After all, he was probably the only person she knew who would understand her guilt about having to kill someone.

"Uh Miss Lewis," Coulson said awkwardly before she could start. "We shouldn't keep the Director waiting."

"Right." She nodded. "See you later."

Matt went back to guarding the hall and Coulson led her into a room.

Fury wasn't there. She hadn't really expected him to be. He liked to make a grand entrance; you waited for him, not the other way round.

She was reminded of when she'd first got chained with Loki. She'd been in a room identical to this one. That seemed like years ago but it was only slightly over two months.

A lot had changed, she supposed.

She took the seat at the far end of the table and Coulson stood silently by the door. The minutes dragged by and Darcy began to feel slightly nervous. Yesterday. She'd been at SHIELD yesterday. Like Loki's arrival, it too felt ages ago. When she had been here though, they'd handcuffed her in a cell. Would she be returning there?

Not if she could help it.

At last the door opened and Fury entered. He nodded to Coulson.

"Oh and Miss Lewis," Coulson said to her, inching toward the door. "I'd appreciate it if you kept the fact that I'm alive a secret."

"Sure." Darcy said, knowing it wasn't a question.

Coulson left and a guard who had accompanied Fury took his place by the door.

"Miss Lewis," He growled in greeting, moving to stand behind the chair at the opposite end of the table.

"Director." She greeted coolly. She'd done nothing wrong, she reminded herself. They couldn't do anything to her.

"You are, I trust, familiar with the events that occurred yesterday evening."

"Not really, no." Darcy answered.

Fury leant forwards, resting his arms on the back of the chair in front of him. "What do you mean?"

"I mean I was unconscious for three weeks and when I woke up SHIELD exploded. Only it seems perfectly fine today."

Fury glared at her for a few moments as though determined to see if she was lying. She determinedly did not look away from his eye.

"Do you really think we built this division so that one bomb could bring it all down?" Fury asked her. "They very specifically targeted the section of the building you and your little God were being kept in. It was almost as though they knew just where you were."

"Ahh and you think I somehow managed to send a message from within SHIELD saying 'hey everyone this is where I am, come and blow me up if you think you're man enough'?" She asked, annoyed. She'd had a very stressful day and all she wanted was to go home.

"Miss Lewis this is no time for jokes." He said.

"Really because I'd say this entire interrogation is one." She retorted.

"Fourteen people have died!" He snarled. "Someone bombed a top secret research head quarters and then sent a hit team in, a hit team which went straight to your cell before you promptly disappeared!"

"Loki teleported us out of there!" She defended. "You expected us to just stay and let them shoot us? Or go wherever they wanted to take us?"

"And why did you not contact us sooner?" Fury asked.

"We had no idea where we were!" Darcy replied. "Loki isn't exactly the best with Earth geography. And we didn't know how much info that other group had. I mean, if they were able to bomb SHIELD then they could have found us. And they did, before you did, I might add. We were on our way to Portland. We figured that was our best bet to make contact."

"And why did this group target you two in the first place?" Fury asked.

Darcy rolled her eyes. "Wow I don't know, why would  _anyone_  try to attack Loki. He's been so nice to everyone on Earth."

He narrowed his eye at her. "You seem to get along pretty well with him."

She crossed her arms. "Is that really what we're discussing here? Yeah because clearly they decided to target Loki because I'm friends with him." She swore she wasn't always quite this sarcastic. Too much time spent with Loki, she supposed. "Just because I've got past all that New York crap doesn't mean the rest of the world has."

"That New York crap where thousands of people died?" Fury asked her.

Darcy sighed. "Yeah and then he was tortured by his Dad. Even you didn't punish him further, I think everyone agrees he's had enough. If you didn't want me to forgive him that stuff then you shouldn't have made me live with him."

"And neither of you had any clue about what was going to happen?" He asked, ignoring her.

"Not to my knowledge." Darcy lied smoothly. Wow she was getting better at this, she thought proudly.

Fury glared at her. "You ran into these people again, correct? Did they say anything then?"

"Nope." Darcy answered. "Can I go home now?"

"No." He snapped. "Miss Lewis do you understand how serious this is?"

"No funnily enough I hadn't gathered that from the fact that I've been on the run for the last twenty four hours."

"Enough snarky replies." He snapped. "You ain't that important that you can talk to me like that."

Darcy froze. It was one of those moments where someone says something in passing but it ends up hurting anyway and his words were ringing in her ears.  _You ain't that important. You ain't that important. You ain't that important._

And Darcy had had enough.

She looked at Fury, making eye contact. "Fuck. You." She told him.

He was silent for a moment. "The hell did you just say to me?" He asked, taken aback.

Darcy faked a confused expression. "Well I believe I said 'fuck you.' Would you like a definition?"

"I could have you-"

"Fired? Arrested? Killed?" She interrupted. "Oddly enough I've got that. But I am so sick of this stupid bullshit. I have been through hell and I want answers."

He glared at her. "You have clearance level one."

"Then upgrade me." She said.

"That is not going to happen."

She rolled her eyes. "Oh wow I so did not see that coming."

Fury shook his head in annoyance. "You think you can act like this just because you've got some magical connection to Loki?"

"No. I think I can act like this because you're treating me like shit and I am through with it." She answered, crossing her arms and leaning back in her chair.

"So what, you're quitting?"

She let out a humourless laugh. "You and I both know that if I quit the first thing you're going to do is throw me in a cell because I'm part of a package deal now." Fury went to interrupt her. "Yeah yeah I know, as soon as the spell is gone you're so going to fire me or whatever. Stop threatening me and give me some answers."

"I can't upgrade your clearance. It comes with your job." He told her.

"Clearance One is need to know, right? Well I need to know this. You have recorders everywhere, you know what those people said when they reached Loki and I in the cell. This concerns me." She argued.

Fury groaned and sat on the chair, glaring at her in annoyance. "Those people that attacked us." He started. Darcy tried not to look shocked. She hadn't actually expected it to work. "They're part of a huge group. The problem is, we have absolutely no idea what they want.

"We sent in some people, undercover of course. The most successful one was there two days before their reports stopped. We currently have his body down in the morgue because he was one of the people that attacked us."

"What?" Darcy asked. "You killed him?"

That didn't sound very SHIELDish. She thought they'd interrogate him a bit first.

"Of course we didn't kill him." Fury told her as though this were obvious. "The moment the agents surrounded them they all crunched cyanide pills. All of them were dead before they hit the ground, let alone before we could get them to the med-bay.

"From what we can tell, they are all about gaining power. Stealing weapons that sort of thing. But the only thing they've acted on is getting to you and Loki. We don't know if they want to kill him or sign him on as part of their team but either way it ain't good for us. That's all we know." Darcy thought about what Loki had said about them getting a message to him telepathically. She was so confused. And what about "give us the girl?" Maybe they just thought that because she'd be less able to fight back she'd be easier to kidnap and if they had her then Loki would have no choice but to come too? But then why try to get to her when he's there anyway?

And how did they know where they were unless they had an insider? She felt sick. She trusted everyone in SHIELD, even Dan. Would they really be spying?

"So what now?" She asked.

"We go on as normal." Fury answered. "We've increased security. I see no reason to change your Christmas plans." Shit she'd forgotten Christmas. "We're sending Romanoff in the New Year. And from the looks of things you and Loki can handle it if they attack you."

Darcy nodded. "So can I go now?"

"You can wait here for me to finish my interrogation of Loki." Fury told her, standing up. "Then you will both be escorted back to your house."

"Can't I see Jane?" She asked.

"Miss Foster is currently having a day off. You'll see her soon enough."

"Woah." Darcy interrupted. "Jane doesn't have days off. She literally comes home from work and does more work."

Fury sent her a final glare and moved to the door. He opened it and paused, looking back at her. "And Miss Lewis," he said, a warning edge to his voice. "If you ever talk to me like that again you'll be out of here before you can mutter an apology, is that clear?"

She sighed in response. He shut the door.

Darcy began to ponder everything that Fury had told her but this quickly turned into her sitting there smugly marvelling at the fact that she'd somehow managed to swear at Fury and not only survive but also get the answers she wanted.

She couldn't wait to tell Loki.

Darcy wasn't the best at telling how quickly time passed. It felt like five hours but it was probably barely one. The guard who was stood by the door's pager started beeping.

"Miss Lewis," She said. "Come with me please."

"Umm okay." Darcy said, following her out of the door. Darcy wondered why she was getting an armed escort as they got into the elevator. She was perfectly capable of walking to the parking lot by herself.

The guard led the way to, surprisingly, a black SUV. Darcy's teeth clenched. She was so sick of seeing those cars.

The guard opened the back door and Darcy smirked. She supposed she could get used to this treatment.

She slid into the back seat and a few moments later the other door opened and Loki got in.

She wanted to hug him but didn't think he could handle three hugs in one day. Instead she settled for grinning broadly at him.

"Hey." She said gleefully. It seemed like ages since she'd last seen him though it was only a few hours. Before the plane. The plane...where Skye had said...

Darcy stopped grinning. She tried not to think about how his legs shouldn't look so nice as he got into the seat but now that Skye had said it she was finding it difficult to stop thinking of Loki that way.

He didn't return her smile. He didn't even look at her.

Her eyebrows furrowed as she looked at him curiously. "What's up with you?" She asked.

The door shut next to him and he turned to her. "What were you asked?" He whispered quickly, urgency showing in the planes of his face.  
Darcy faltered under the intensity of his gaze. "Umm I uh..."

"What were you asked?" He hissed again.

"They just uh asked me what I knew." She mumbled, then remembered how to speak. "They asked me if I knew anything about the attackers." She realised why he's asked her. "Which was ridiculous of course because why would I know anything about it? Fury seemed a bit pissed off when I told him that though."

Loki's eyes scanned her face quickly, reminding her of the way Matt had looked at her though where with Matt it had been concerned worry, with Loki it was almost menacing as though he were threatening her if she was lying. Even Darcy felt slightly intimidated. He nodded, the corner of his lips twitching.

"I take it they asked you the same?" Darcy asked.

"Yes." Loki said, looking out of the window. "Though I do not know why they expected me to know anything given that I have been under their constant surveillance."

"And I assume you told Fury this?" Darcy asked, smiling. Oh she wished she could have seen that. It was nice watching Loki being a sarcastic dick to people that weren't her.

"Yes though I'm sure those weren't my precise words." Loki muttered. She grinned, she could just imagine his precise words. A lot of insults, presumably.

"Yeah well they can't be much worse than my precise words."She said.

Loki scowled at her but she caught a hint of amusement dancing like green fire in his eyes. "What did you do?" He asked, trepidation thinly veiled under his words.

"I may have uh...swore at him..." Darcy said

Loki's lips quirked in amusement. "And when shall I expect your execution?"

Darcy rolled her eyes, knowing he was joking but still revelling in the opportunity to call him a jerk. Which she promptly did, of course. "Actually he told me some stuff, in the biggest plot twist since 'Luke, I am your father.'"

Loki frowned in confusion so she hurriedly explained what Fury had told her. He listened quietly, a look of calm thoughtfulness crossing his face until she finished.

"They are sending in the Black Widow?" Loki asked, his eyebrows knitting together in concern.

"Yeah...?" Darcy said, elongating the word in her confusion. "That's good." She reminded him. "She's, like, the best. She got through to you didn't she?"

Loki snorted. "My own idiocy and complacency, no success of the woman."

"I can't tell if you are being sexist now or just rude but I'm gonna hit you anyway, kay?" Darcy said, prodding him in the stomach.

"I assure you it was the latter." He clarified dryly.

"Mmhmm." Darcy replied, not sure if she believed him. He had called Natasha Romanoff a mewling quim, after all. Then again he hadn't been misogynistic in the slightest since being with them. He  _had_  been a major drama queen during his last Midgard visit, maybe sexist asshole just went with the role of psychotic world-dominator?

"So," She asked. "Why the sudden concern for Romanoff?"

Loki smirked. "I am not concerned for her sake. Believe me, nothing would please me more than to have any member of the so called 'avengers' destroyed. It merely seems to me that if this group managed to turn one of your best agents against you then it is probably best not to give them a better one to send back against you."

"But Romanoff would never go against SHIELD." Darcy said, realising that this wasn't exactly true. Natasha was good but she was ambitious. Darcy had no doubt that if SHIELD threatened Clint or freedom or something then Romanoff would be their biggest problem.

"Darcy, do you truly believe it was that agent's loyalty which was at fault?" Loki asked solemnly.

Darcy narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously. "Do you know something that you aren't telling me?"

A short chuckle escaped his lips. "Many things."

"You know what I mean." Darcy snapped. God, how was she attracted to that arrogant dick?

"I know nothing of the people attacking SHIELD." Loki said, looking as though he were about to laugh again.

"But you just said-" Darcy sputtered.

"I know nothing." Loki repeated. "This is the truth."

Darcy pondered this for a moment. Of course he could be lying but Darcy didn't think so. Then again the words didn't exactly ring true. "The whole truth?" She asked, glaring at him distrustfully.

He smiled at her like she'd worked out something incredibly complex. "Never tell the whole truth." He said knowledgably. "Then you have nothing left to bargain with."

Darcy crossed her arms and looked at him with scepticism, unable to tell if he was being serious or not. The slight grin on his face suggested he was mocking her but it did sound like something he'd say. "Care to share the rest?"

He laughed. Honestly, the nerve of him. Stupid, fricking, idiotic, oddly attractive God of Mischief. "The rest are educated guesses which I will not share as you would take them seriously then irritate me with your worrying."

"My..my...what?" Darcy stuttered, unable to believe he'd actually just said that.

An insult rolled to the tip of her tongue but he was saved her voicing it by the sight of their house. She grinned carelessly at Loki who gave a slight, tolerating smirk in response. They were home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Mallory Knox's Hello. Thanks for your patience as well as for reading and reviewing.


	22. No Need To Worry

"Darcy!" Jane yelled, running out of the house. Darcy had barely got out of the car before the physicist was hugging her.

"Woah," Darcy gasped. "Can't breathe!"

"I don't care." Jane said, if anything tightening her vice like grip. "You're alive."

Darcy hugged her back. "Yeah, it's great to see you too."

"Where were you?" Jane demanded, finally letting go leaving Darcy wondering if her ribs would ever be the same. "What happened? Are you all right?"

"Uh..." Darcy started, looking round at the smirking guards. "Maybe we'd better do this inside."

Jane nodded. "I'll go make some coffee."

"Maybe I'd better do that." Darcy suggested, barely concealing her smile. "We want it to be drinkable, after all."

Jane beamed and shook her head. "Oh God I missed you."

Darcy laughed as she entered the house. "I've only been gone a day, Jane."

"But before that you were in the hospital wing and Fury was talking about having you arrested and oh God, I'm so sorry I let them put you in that cell. I argued but they wouldn't listen and I figured there was no harm for a few days and-"

"Jane!" Darcy interrupted, grinning endearingly. "It's fine. I'm fine. Sit down. I'm making coffee." She turned to Loki. "And you Frost Brain, with me. In the kitchen. Now."

She was met with a sleek eyebrow lift from Loki as he sent her a disbelieving look.

"Nu uh, don't make me say it twice." She told him, grabbing his hand and pulling him into the kitchen as Jane looked confusedly between them.

"What?" He viciously asked. "I do not appreciate being ordered around by a mortal."

Darcy rolled her eyes. "Have you even been paying attention to our conversations? It's hardly the first time. Sit." She gestured to the kitchen chairs.

Loki laughed then realised that she was still glaring at him. His smile faltered into his regular cocky smirk. The sight sent butterflies to her stomach so that she wasn't sure if she wanted to smack it off or kiss it away. Wow, she must have been hornier than she thought to find Loki's sarcastic smirk sexy. She felt a bitter surge of hatred for both herself and Loki for feeling that way. "Oh come now, you are not being serious."

Darcy pressed her lips into a thin line, her refusal to dwell on her attraction on Loki diminishing her ability to put up with him somewhat. "Do I look like I'm joking?"

His forehead creased with amusement. "Am I supposed to find this intimidating?"

"Sit down." She told him again. His lips twitched but he sat down anyway, still smirking with his hands raised in fake surrender.

"Any other commands _, your majesty_?" He mocked.

Darcy grinned, knowing it would irritate him. "Your majesty, huh? I could get used to that."

"Yes well it is unfortunately hard to get mortals to take up such titles." Loki said. "Apparently you need something more than a vessel of ancient power and a chitauri army."

"Not to mention your glowy-stick thing." Darcy added, turning round to make coffee. "I've said it before but come on: compensating."

Loki did not seem impressed with her comments. "Is there a reason you demanded I follow you in here? Or was it just for you to pointlessly insult me?" He asked.

"Oh Frost Brain, there's always a point to insulting you." She said with a smirk of her own. "I just can't tell you because you ought never tell the whole truth."

Loki's eyes followed her intently round the kitchen. She pretended not to notice.

"Is that what this ridiculous charade is about?" Loki asked. "Darcy, I have told you all that I know."

"Yeah and I don't believe you." She said casually. He opened his mouth to argue but she cut him off. "Nevermind that now, I need to talk to you."

"And you felt all this was necessary?" He asked, folding his arms and looking at her judgementally. The effect was almost comical and she had to bite her lip to stop from laughing.

"I needed you to take this seriously." She said, jabbing a spoon at him. "And that's impossible seeming as the only time you ever take anything seriously is when we you're almost dying."

"I do not recall you having a problem with that when I was protecting your life as well." He stated.

"I am not trying to fight with you." She hissed, glancing nervously at the door in case Jane heard. "I just need to make sure you...look I don't think we should tell Jane about everything that happened."

Loki's surprised expression quickly morphed into a questioning frown. "Why?"

Darcy sighed as she stirred sugar into hers and Jane's cups, Loki preferring his without and with only a dash of milk. Oh God, she knew how she liked his coffee.

She rolled her eyes, they were practically a married couple already. At least it explained the bickering, she supposed.

She felt her stomach twist as she realised she didn't quite know how to explain it to Loki. He didn't really do the whole "emotions" thing unless it was pain or anger. "Because she'll be worried. And we've already put her through enough."

"You do not think she will be able to tell that you are not being truthful?" Loki asked. "I've met children who are better at lying."

Darcy rolled her eyes. "Is everything you say covering a thinly veiled insult?"

Loki shrugged. "Occasionally I make it more obvious for the more dim-witted to understand."

"You're a dick." She stated.

"Yes, I feel you might have mentioned that." He said putting on his bored tone.

She sighed in annoyance. It was like he'd been so nice when they were in trouble that he now had to use up all the time he missed to be an asshole.

"Just," Darcy said, trying to stay calm and in doing so clipping the words. "Don't say anything about them coming to get us specifically back at SHIELD. Just say we saw them and panicked, okay? And don't mention them finding us again. Or Sif."

Darcy looked out of the window. The barren landscape she was so used to seemed different somehow like she was seeing it from different eyes. So much had happened which she hadn't even taken in. It was a lot to occur in twenty four hours, she supposed. A wave of longing for her old life crashed over her. She felt her throat tighten like she was about to cry, she didn't feel sad exactly. Just nostalgic for simplicity.

"Darcy?" Loki asked. She could tell he was trying to sound bored but she caught the sharpness to his voice, it was the way he'd spoken when she was in danger.

"Hmm?" She asked, turning to him. She'd been kind of lost in thought.

"I do not pretend to be an expert on the behaviour of mortals, by the Nine Realms who'd want to be...though you do not seem quite yourself." He said. Back to his barely concealed insults then.

She shook her head. "Asshat." She said.

To her surprise he smiled. "I see you are back to your usual behaviour then."

She pushed the mug of coffee she'd made him towards him. He took a sip and smirked at her. "Well it is better than what you bought earlier."

Was the coffee from the gas station really this morning? Wow she needed to go to bed. Today was quite possibly the longest day ever.

"Just promise you won't tell Jane." She pleaded.

" _You_ are asking  _me_  to lie?" Loki asked, half smiling and half looking at her with faked concern.

Darcy rolled her eyes. "Don't get used to it."

Loki shook his head, the slight smirk still on his stupid face. "You seem to be omitting one crucial detail."

Darcy sent him the best unimpressed look she could muster. "And what would that be?" She asked, placing a hand on her hip.

"That I will actually speak to Jane." He said.

Darcy sighed in frustration. "Oh and one more thing. Fury and Jane are sending me home for Christmas. Uh it's this kind of festival thing." She explained at his look of confusion. "Oh come on, it was in half the books you read. Anyway, you're going to have to come too, obviously, so can you please act normal?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Normal? Certainly, do you perhaps have an army to spare?"

"Normal as in human normal, Loki." She said, aggravated. She was too tired to be amused by him right now. "No no, don't pull that look of disgust, we are all very familiar with your feelings about us. That means wearing human clothes and being polite and, well, lying so I suppose you'll have no problems doing it. Okay?"

He frowned as though she were incredibly stupid. "No." He said like this answer were obvious which, she had to admit, it very much was.

"Oh come on, Thor said you visited him in a suit and I've seen the footage of Stuttgart." Darcy protested.

"They were merely illusions, to actually wear..." Loki was apparently unable to finish the sentence because of the look of disgust he was currently pulling.

She sighed and felt a smile inch across her face. "I had a feeling you might say that. Well I asked nicely. Either you do it, and I'm talking proper silver tongue charm here, or I  _tell_." She didn't want to elaborate too much given that the whole house was bugged but given the glare Loki gave her she assumed he understood.

"An empty threat." He said dismissively.

"No. Not really. See I don't really care much for my family, I'm only going because Jane went to all that trouble. Frankly I think it'd be hilarious if they had to put up with...well you. Unfotunately word of who you are would be dangerous. I have a whole SHIELD team on my side ready to wipe the memory of my parents but I doubt they'd extend the same courtesies to  _the person_  I tell." She didn't want to say Fury because she knew he'd drag her back to interrogate her again about this conversation.

"I told you that-" He started angrily.

"Yes. Rather foolish of you really." She interrupted with a smug grin. "Never tell the whole truth, it gives people something to bargain with."

Loki did that incredibly hot thing he sometimes did where he jutted his jaw out and rolled his eyes. Then he exhaled softly and shook his head. "Very well." A moment later he smirked again. "That was well played, I'm impressed."

Darcy grinned and tossed her hair back. "Yeah well I'm not just a pretty face." She walked to the door. "Now come on."

"Ahh getting coffee for Jane," Darcy said as she walked back into the living room. "It's like my life is back to normal already.

"Thanks." Jane said, still ridiculously grinning as she took the cup. She took a quick sip. "oh God I missed you."

Darcy grinned. "I missed you too."

Loki sat in his arm chair, somehow managing to obtain a book. His legs were stretched out in front of him and she could truly appreciate for the first time just how long they were. Long and thin and...

She shook her head.  _Why him?_  A voice in her head pleaded as she tore her eyes away from him. She should not find things like the way he sat attractive because quite frankly he sat like a whore.

She wondered if she could somehow get Loki to go clubbing with her on their Christmas trip because she clearly desperately needed to meet other guys.

Then the answer came to her: the SHIELD Christmas party.

Finally a good opportunity for her to get Loki out of her system. A thousand crude jokes popped into her head which she chose to ignore. She suddenly realised Jane was talking and tried to pay attention.

"...them three hours to clear the majority of the rubble and realise that neither of you were there. Then people checked the video footage, people were already looking at the stuff of the attacks but no one thought to check up on you two."

"But what about you?" Darcy asked. "Were you in part that collapsed?"

She thought of what Fury had said about the way the building was structured. She really didn't get how that could work but thought it was probably better to just accept the fact that it did.

"No, it just kind of shook slightly. We thought it was an Earthquake. Wrecked our experiment. SHIELD thought maybe they might have been after Banner so they sent him to somewhere safe. I don't know what happened after that, about an hour later Fury came in and demanded I left, escorted guard home and everything."

Darcy had a vague idea of what had happened. They'd seen that the attackers had gone straight for her and Loki and wondered, rather foolishly, if Jane had had something to do with it.

"Anyway." Jane said. "That's enough about me. What happened to you?"

Darcy glanced at Loki who was still reading in the corner but his eyes weren't moving. He was evidently eavesdropping then, she thought, only just refraining from rolling her eyes. He was so ridiculous.

"Well..." Darcy started. One word lies were about as much as she could handle. She supposed she may as well give it a go anyway. She started fiddling with her nails to distract herself. "The room started shaking, like you said and we thought it was an Earthquake too so Loki teleported us out only...we somehow ended up in Oregon and we...had to walk a while to try to find SHIELD but then a SHIELD plane picked us up and here we are."

Jane scowled. "But how did they find you?"

"Something about Loki's magic being traceable energy." Darcy said.

Jane gave Darcy a withering look. "And how do you know that?"

Darcy shrugged. "It's what the scientists on the plane said."

"Okay." Jane said, giving Loki a shrewd look though he continued to read. She turned back to Darcy with a smile. "I'm just glad you're safe, I was worried."

"You too." Darcy said, she felt like they were repeating the same conversation but she didn't mind. It was nice to know that Jane cared for her, a lot more apparently than Darcy had thought.

"We have no food in." Jane said, standing up. "I'll go get something from town. That is, if the agents let me." She glanced nervously out of the window.

"It should be fine." Darcy said, thinking of how Fury had said they should act normally.

Jane nodded, grabbed her car keys and left.

"Thanks for the support." She said to Loki when she was sure that Jane was gone.

"You were forewarned of the lack of it." Loki replied, bored.

"Whatever," She sighed. "I'm going upstairs; I've had more than enough time with you." She added jokingly.

"The feeling is more than mutual." Loki replied, the soft curl to his lip that suggested he was not being serious either.

Darcy got her laptop out when she reached her room and started rush Christmas shopping while she waited for Jane. The sudden realisation that Christmas was a week away was startling. Darcy tended to leave her shopping quite late, normally being so busy up until Christmas that she didn't realise just how little time she had left. Even so, she normally had at least half of her presents ordered by now.

Oddly Jane, who despite usually forgetting everything that wasn't science to make room for more science was quite organised. Probably because she remembered a month before and ordered everything then because she knew she'd forget again.

She wavered for a moment as she ordered stuff from her first website. She couldn't very well put in the address of their top secret SHIELD-owned house. In the end she typed in Matt's address. Hopefully he'd give her everything at work. Would she have to do this every time she ordered stuff? How long would Loki be with her anyway?

She thought of herself in ten years time in the same situation and felt a shudder of repulsion run through her. She loved her job, she really did but she wanted to do something more fitting for her. She doubted Jane could continue for much longer with an assistant who knew nothing about science anyway.

She bit her lip as she reluctantly opened an email. It couldn't hurt to enquire about it.

_Hey Skye, it's Darcy. I was just wondering, about what you said on hacking..._

She reread her email several times. It seemed okay, not too forward and not too casual. She hit send, an odd feeling of guilt twinging in her gut. She felt like she was cheating on science and therefore on Jane.

Half an hour later, Darcy heard a car pull up outside.

She ran back downstairs, only just realising how hungry she was. All she'd had since that tiny lasagne was coffee and she'd done a lot more on it than she was used to.

"I'm back." Jane called unnecessarily as she came back inside because they were all there anyway. She'd brought Chinese take away and Darcy's stomach rumbled hungrily as she piled noodles onto her plate.

The greasy food had never tasted so good. And they had entertainment in the form of Loki attempting to use chopsticks. He mastered it extremely quickly but still the first few mouthfuls were amusing.

"So," Darcy asked through a mouthful of food. She swallowed it hastily. "What are you doing for Christmas?"

"Selvig is coming over." Jane said.

"Oh." Darcy replied. She would have much rather stayed at home for it. Christmas with Jane and Selvig sounded a lot more fun than with her family. Then again it probably wasn't the best idea to have Loki and Selvig in the same room together.

"Yeah...you guys will be gone right?" Jane checked, as though reading her mind.

Darcy's eyes flicked to Loki whose eyes had been glinting with amusement from the mention of Selvig. "Definitely."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title from Forever The Sickest Kids' That For Me. As always thanks for reading and reviewing, your support means the world.


	23. Risking It All

Darcy surveyed herself critically in the mirror as she applied her lipstick, the deep red making her blue eyes look brighter in comparison. She wore a black lace dress which synched at the waist before flowing out to about halfway down her thighs. The plunging neckline was not her usual style but she kind of liked it and it would hopefully work for her aim of getting laid that night.

Her hair was set in tighter curls than her normal lose waves and she slipped on her heels to walk across the hall, sure that she looked as good as it was going to get.

She banged on Loki's door. "I do not care if you don't do Midgardian clothes, get your butt out here or we're going to be late."

The door swung open. "A true travesty, I'm sure." Loki said sarcastically, stepping out.

Darcy's eyes widened, startled. She had expected a lot more fighting to get him into the suit she'd ordered for him but there he was, wearing it. She'd been worried it wouldn't fit but...well the only word in her head was an appreciative "damn."

She didn't think a suit would look good on him, and indeed she saw as predicted that the black and white did make his skin look paler and his hair look darker.

But she also saw that it made his eyes almost glitter... _God he had nice eyes_. The trousers made his already long legs seem never ending, the shirt wasn't too tight that it strained but was tight enough that she could tell he was pretty cut. She'd always thought of him as skinny and she supposed he was slim but that must have just been due to his height to weight ratio because there were definitely some very fine abs under there.

He'd stopped too and was looking at her almost in awe. It wasn't a possessive leer like most guys looked at her body with, he was looking at her with the kind of reverence one might have held for a work of art. His eyes travelled up and down her, maybe lingering a fraction longer on her breasts than anywhere else but it was all done with a kind of wonder.

Darcy felt herself turn a similar colour to her lipstick.

Both of them must have suddenly realised they were checking the other out because they both looked away awkwardly.

"We should go." Darcy said and Loki nodded.

"I still do not understand why you are dragging me to this." Loki said to her as they reached the car. He opened the door for her and she almost died of shock.

"Because, Frost Brain," Darcy said, trying not to look at him as it was very bad for her already confused feelings towards him. "It is Christmas. And Christmas is a time to get drunk on company expense."

"I think most people would say Christmas is a time for family or giving, Darce." Jane called from the front seat, a hint of amusement to her voice.

"Well those people would be wrong." Darcy replied. "And you've never met my family." She added under her breath though Loki must have heard it for he looked over at her with an odd expression on his face.

Jane laughed. "Well I have no family." She said. "So I guess I'll have to make do with your form of Christmas."

"And just how do you plan on driving us back if you're drunk?" Darcy asked.

"Already cleared it with SHIELD." She said smugly. "The guards will be coming back with us anyway, right? Well one of them's going to drive."

"So where is the party?" Darcy asked.

They used to have it in The Hub which Darcy had managed to work out was like the SHIELD main base but then this Serbian spy had come as a plus one with one of the agents and well...apparently that was the unofficial start of the cold war.

Then they'd set up this moving hyper secure base thing, Darcy didn't know the exact details but found that New Mexico was actually a pretty good place to keep it because of the vast expanses of nothingness.

Even so, no one actually knew where it was, Jane just had to follow the directions coming up on her sat nav.

How did Darcy know all this about the base? Well, she'd got a reply to her email.

At Skye's suggestion she'd enrolled on this online course that Skye's friend ran and after three lessons had managed to hack into SHIELD's oldest server. It was actually vaguely worrying that it had been so easy.

"I still do not understand why I must go." Loki said.

"Because you just couldn't wait for a chance to wear your Earth clothes." Darcy said with a smile.

Loki glared in response but remained silent for the rest of the drive. It was December 23rd and Darcy and Loki were supposed to fly out to Connecticut tomorrow. She really hoped she wouldn't have to put up with him glaring at her the entire time though she supposed technically she  _had_  blackmailed him into going in the first place, some glares were to be expected.

The place was too big for Darcy to take it in, especially in the dark and they were soon led inside where it resembled any other hallway in any other building in the country. Loki, Darcy and Jane walked along it together until they reached the doors at the end.

The most surprising aspect of the room inside was the fact that it was owned by SHIELD. This was because it looked like some high class club you'd find in a penthouse in New York.

It was dark with flashing coloured lights, a bar at one end and plush chairs and sofas around the edges of what was presumably a dance floor while club music blared. There were also various exits for all the different entrances into the place that people would be taken to.

It was already packed. The good majority of SHIELD employees would be here tonight.

Darcy's eyes immediately wandered to two people making out against a wall, oblivious to their surroundings. With a start she realised it was Skye and Ward and looked away awkwardly though smiling. Whilst she didn't want to watch, it was nice to know someone was successful with their crush.

Darcy's eyes turned instead to Loki who was looking around with an expression of distaste on his face. She forced herself to tear her eyes away and survey the other people instead; the whole point of her even going tonight was so that she looked at other people than him.

"I'm going to the bar." Jane yelled.

"Good idea." Darcy shouted back, it was hard to hear with the sound of the music. "Come on." She said, grabbing Loki's hand and grinning at him. His eyes met hers with an odd reluctance, like he too was trying not to look at her that way. That was ridiculous though, if anything he was enjoying making her uncomfortable. Either way, he let her pull him through the crowds which was good because she needed to get properly drunk, something she hadn't done since before he arrived.

"Vodka and coke," Darcy ordered. "And a mead, please." She added for Loki.

He raised his eyes at her sceptically as the bartender got their drinks. "Mead?"

Darcy shrugged. "Not everyone at SHIELD is American, they serve stuff for everyone."

He laughed. "And that includes drinks from Asgard?"

"Well technically I think it's probably European or something." Darcy said, smiling too but secretly thinking that he really shouldn't be smiling when he already looked so hot in the suit because it just wasn't fair to her lady parts.

They got their drinks and Loki took a tentative sip. "Not bad." He said, mildly impressed. "Though it is nothing compared to the drinks of Asgard."

"Even the dungeon ones?" Darcy queried.

Loki grimaced. "Hmm perhaps not them."

Jane had managed to disappear so Darcy and Loki wandered over to the edge of the room, not quite at the level of intoxication that would allow them to dance yet. Darcy smirked and was about to make a snarky comment on Loki's dancing ability when he spoke instead.

"You look beautiful tonight." He said quickly.

Darcy looked at him suspiciously. She couldn't quite discern an insult in that statement. Figuring she'd play along, she smiled. "Thanks, you don't look too bad yourself."

Loki looked unconvinced. "This attire is horrendous, yours however is a vast improvement."

Darcy laughed. "Wow you really know how to compliment a girl. And put your eyes back in, Frost Brain, I think I just found them down my dress."

He looked confused and she laughed again. She took a large gulp of her drink. It was very strong, she could feel the acidic bite of the alcohol as it slid down her throat. She finished it quickly.

An hour later, Darcy was still rather depressingly sober. She supposed she'd built up quite the intolerance to it due to her perhaps excessive drinking in the past. She'd danced with three different guys, none of them able to hold her interest for long so she kept returning to Loki at the edge of the room where he'd been glaring at them. He was probably annoyed that she'd dragged him along just so she could dance with people. Oh well, she thought, after all he'd put her through he could hardly complain.

She'd just sent him off to get them more drinks.

"Darcy!" A voice shouted over the music.

She turned round, trying to locate the owner of the words. She almost didn't recognise Matt without his usual SHIELD uniform. The black suit made him look taller somehow, though he didn't look as great in it as Loki did in his.

"Hey!" She grinned.

"Darcy this is Priya. Priya, this is Darcy." He said by way of introduction, gesturing to an Indian woman who Darcy only just realised was with him and not just a passing worker. She was small, a few inches smaller than Darcy even with some killer heels on only unlike Darcy she was very thin. She had pretty light brown skin and silky black hair through which gold earrings glittered. She wore a gold sequined dress which brought out gold flecks in her dark brown eyes. Matt's pixie-ish looks seemed to fit right in with her because she looked kind of like a fairy. Darcy half expected to see gauzy gold wings.

"Hi." Darcy greeted with a smile.

"Hey." The woman said, grinning nervously.

"Priya does the guard training for new recruits." Matt added.

"You do?" Darcy asked, impressed. She could hardly believe someone as small as Priya could train people to kick ass.

"Yep, kicked his butt more than a few times." She said with a mischievous grin which just added to the impression that she was a fairy.

"You did not." Matt scowled.

"Yes darling," She said, giving him a cute smile. "You believe that."

"That's how we met." Matt explained. "I was showing her some new moves."

Priya snorted softly and gave him a disbelieving look. "Matthew Garcia teaching  _me_  martial arts. That'll be the day."

"I believe I beat you two out of three." He retorted.

"Yes but I then won three out of five." She argued.

Darcy laughed. "I'm sure you can both beat each other up perfectly well."

They moved away from each other slightly as though only realising just how close to each other they'd gotten. Aww, they were so cute. She'd wanted to meet Matt's girlfriend for ages.

Matt's smile suddenly slipped away. "Where's your babysitter?" He asked, having only just noticed Loki's absence.

"Getting us drinks." Darcy said.

"Ohh okay." He added to Priya. "Want to dance?"

"Sure. Nice to meet you, Darcy."

"Yeah you too, see you later."

No sooner had they left before two other people took their place. The music seemed to have increased in volume.

"Hello." Simmons greeted.

"How are you?" Fitz added.

Darcy laughed, she'd forgotten their whole tag team speech thing.

"I'm good thanks." Darcy grinned. "How's the plane without me?"

"Oh far too exciting, like always." Fitz sighed.

"It would be nice to have a few quiet days." Simmons added, almost reluctantly. "Coulson's not happy with you, though."

"Really?" Darcy asked in surprise. "What did I do?"

"Well he says you and Skye hacked the information on Tony Stark." Fitz said.

"Yeah well he stole my iPod so we're even." Darcy replied.

"He what?" Simmons asked.

"He stole my iPod. Long story. I'd downloaded new songs. I was pissed."

"Umm right." Fitz said.

"So," Simmons started, grinning at Darcy in a secretive way which implied they had some shared inside joke. "Where is Loki?"

"What?" Darcy asked a little too quickly.

"We expected him to be with you." Fitz said.

"Oh yeah. Right," Darcy said, wondering why her heart was racing. "He's just getting us drinks."

"Oh you've got him getting you drinks?" Simmons asked, smiling at Fitz who made possibly the most ridiculous whipping motion she'd ever seen with his hand.

"Am I missing something here?" Darcy asked, feeling like she was being mocked.

"Well you know..." Simmons said.

"You and Loki..." Fitz added.

"I hear he's a Frost  _Giant_." Simmons said with a grin.

"You want to examine his sceptre." Fitz added.

Darcy's insides squirmed with repulsion. Eww. How could they just...say stuff like that?

Simmons was giggling. "Ohh good one Fitz."

"Oh my God." Darcy sighed in exasperation before leaning in to hurriedly whisper. "Can you two drop it? Believe me, it is  _very_  unrequited."

"I'm sure that's not true."Simmons said, grinning and not keeping her voice down in the slightest.

"He's not exactly going to show it like a normal human, is he?" Fitz pointed out.

"That's true." Simmons added. "He'd probably get annoyed at having feelings for you. Not to mention very confused."

"Probably isolate himself to see if it went away."

"Because he didn't want to admit it was ever there in the first place."

"Then he'd realise he couldn't."

"And come running back." Simmons finished like it was some romantic fairytale. "But I suppose he hasn't done anything like that?"

Darcy swallowed. Her stomach twisted unpleasantly. He had. He'd done exactly that. A month of ignoring her. But they were wrong...that was just...him researching magic...he wouldn't. No, she told herself firmly, they were wrong. She wouldn't let herself become hopeful. She just wouldn't. "How do you even know about it?" Darcy asked instead. "Did Skye tell you?"

"Skye?" Simmons asked at the same time Fitz said, "No."

They both looked genuinely shocked.

"Then how did you know that I..." She trailed off, unwilling to say it in the middle of a room full of SHIELD agents.

"Oh it's actually very simple." Fitz said.

"See the physical response to attraction is very easy to measure." Simmons added.

"When we were discussing Loki on the plane, your eyes dilated."

"And your heartbeat increased."

Darcy was gaping.  _Okay, calm_ , she told herself, aware of the fact her heart was beating extraordinarily quickly. She swallowed and grinned. Fine, two could play at this game.

"You two think you know so much about attraction?" She asked.

"Well it is just science." Fitz said as they both rigorously nodded.

Darcy smirked and pushed them both so that they were facing each other. "Just science huh?" She asked. "Well, look how dilated their pupils are." She leant in and whispered. "And how fast is your heart racing?"

Darcy took a step back to admire her work. Fitz and Simmons were both staring at each other like they'd never seen each other before.

"I'm gonna get a drink." Fitz said breathlessly.

"Just going to pop to the loo." Simmons said, eyes wide.

And they both ran in opposite directions.

She smiled smugly, and looked round the dance floor for Loki. A guy a little away from her caught her eye but looked away quickly. She pondered him for a moment. He was average height, had vaguely messy brown hair like it was usually untidy but he'd tried to tame it. He wasn't drop dead gorgeous but he was rather good looking she supposed.

He glanced up as though sensing her looking and smiled.

Taking it as her cue, she walked up to him. The first three guys had failed; she may as well try number four.

"Hey, I'm Darcy." She said by way of introduction, smiling up into brown eyes so dark they could have been black.

"Mark." He replied with a nod, returning her grin. His eyes slowly dropped to her body before meeting her eyes again. She felt a vague stir of annoyance at his blatant staring at her but ignored it. She'd already been there over an hour, she was getting desperate. "It's nice to meet you."

"Yeah you too." She said. "I love this song, want to dance?"

"Sure." He said, smiling intimately as he met her eyes.

She moved closer to him, she could feel the heat of his body and his warm breath on her skin, the tang of alcohol carried on it. Her heartbeat quickened.

Yep, definitely a great candidate to get Loki out of her system.

She sensed him before she saw him, as though her thoughts had summoned him to her side, she felt the unmistakeable though not unpleasant shiver down her spine that meant he was standing right behind her.

He placed a hand on her shoulder and she turned to face him.

"Hello?" She asked pointedly, annoyed that he was interrupting her and ignoring the pleasant pressure of his hand on her. He was glaring at Mark, a look of annoyed hatred on his face.

"Can I help you?" He asked, his tone not openly menacing but with a subtext of threat.

Mark looked terrified, his eyes jumping from her to Loki.

"Y-y-ou're that Darcy." He said, his eyes flicking up at Loki warily. She felt a tight not in her stomach. Of course, it was a SHIELD party. Everyone there knew about Loki. "I'm just gonna..."

And he was gone.

"Dude!" Darcy turned on Loki. He let go of her and walked back to the edge of the room. She followed angrily, taking her annoyance at Mark's cowardice out on he who had triggered it. "What the hell was that about?"

His expression betrayed no emotion. "He looked as though he was bothering you."

"If he was bothering me I would have told him myself, I don't need you to appear and chase him off!" She told him.

"My mistake." He said with a slight twitching of his lips. She bit her lips in annoyance, she now needed to find someone else to get that asshole off her mind.

She supposed she couldn't blame him though, in his own twisted mind he'd thought he was helping. After all, he probably didn't know their true intentions. Otherwise he...well she didn't quite know but Loki probably didn't understand flirting. Did he?

"Did you get me my drink at least?" She asked haughtily.

Loki handed her a glass as though he'd summoned it from thin air. She drank half of it in one go.

"Is it wise to drink so much?" Loki asked, slight concern on his face.

"Definitely not but wise was never really me." Darcy replied, putting the incident with Mark out of her mind. "What about you? Can you get drunk?"

Loki smiled mockingly. "It would take a lot more than some Midgardian drinks to intoxicate me."

"What if I got drunk? Would you then get drunk?" Darcy asked curiously.

Loki glared at her. "I suggest we don't try it."

"You!" An angry voice shouted and Darcy looked up to see Clint Barton and Natasha Romanoff storming up to them. Barton seemed to be the one who'd yelled though Natasha wasn't really doing much to restrain him.

Darcy had met them a couple of times before but they weren't talking to her now.

"They told me you were back." Barton spat at Loki. "I thought they might have the decency to at least lock you up."

Loki smirked, one corner going up slightly more than the other. "Agent Barton, you look well."

Barton's fist connected with Loki's jaw before Darcy even knew what was happening. She couldn't really blame Barton for hitting him either, after what Loki had done to him, he definitely deserved it.

"Clint!" Natasha yelled, grabbing his hand to pull him back and walking in front. "That doesn't solve anything!"

Loki's hand reached for his jaw in shock at the exact same moment Natasha Romanoff's hand slapped his cheek. "You want to do it more like this." She told Clint. "It hurts more, see." She said, her other hand coming up. Even over the music Darcy could hear the deafening clap that sounded as her hand cracked across his face.

"That's for what you did in New York." She snarled at him. "And that's for what you said to me."

Barton was smiling with pride as Romanoff took his hand again. "Come on, Clint."

She led him away.

"What do you imagine that was for?" Loki asked, a hint of humour in his voice.

"Well most people don't like being called trembling vaginas. Nor do they like having their mind controlled." Darcy replied.

Loki looked at his hand in wonder as though he'd never been hurt before and he was wondering what pain was. His jaw was jutting forward in that way that ought to have been illegal.

But, Darcy realised, she didn't feel anything. Her glass fell out of her hand and smashed on the floor.

Loki scowled at her but she wasn't watching anymore. Her hand reached for his wrist and before he could react she was pulling him out. She couldn't think. It was too loud. The music was blasting into her ears and drilling all thoughts out of her head except for the crushing certainty that she had to get out. She had to.

She'd felt it when she'd hit him. Faintly but still she'd felt something. But now that two master assassins hit him, she felt nothing? Something was wrong.

The room was surrounded by doors and Darcy was able to make one out though the rest of her vision was going sort of fuzzy. She headed for it, not knowing if it was the right exit but any exit was better than nothing.

Loki was saying something, presumably asking her what she was doing but his words merged with the music in the buzz of her mind.

She pushed the door open and burst through into the white corridor, the door slamming shut behind them and immediately blocking out all the music.

It was like sudden clarity had returned as the coldness of the corridor slapped her.

"Darcy?" Loki demanded from behind her. His voice sounded like it was in HD, suddenly clearer than usual.

"How long?" She asked without looking round, her voice quavering slightly.

"What?" Loki asked annoyed, apparently assuming she wasn't making sense.

Darcy curled her hands into fists to stop them from shaking. She turned on him, staring intently, thankful that her heels made her closer to his height. "How long?" She repeated. His face was a mixture of confusion and annoyance. "How long has the link between us been broken?"

"What?" He asked again though he looked slightly panicked, his eyes flicked down at the end, his long eyelashes casting shadows across the very tops of his cheeks. He leant against the wall as though to regain his casual composure.

Darcy didn't know how to feel, her insides felt like they would burst. "How long has the link been broken?" She repeated again, her voice eerily calm. His scream to run as they were attacked rang in her head like a ghostly echo...he hadn't forgotten the link, he'd been telling her...he'd been saving her...

Loki looked at her, his green eyes meeting her blue ones as a mutual understanding passed between them. They both knew that he wouldn't lie, for whatever reason. He would tell the truth.

"It is only temporary." He answered, his voice oddly composed and velvety smooth. Darcy's mouth felt dry but she managed to choke out words through her constricting throat.

"How long?" She asked, stepping forward in her desperation. Because that's what she wanted to know. Because logically it would have been when they'd been knocked unconscious. And if that was true then he had not needed to save her from the collapsing building. But he had. And if he hadn't done it to save himself...

Her head was swimming.

He took a deep breath, the moment between them seeming to stretch a lifetime yet his answer seeming abrupt. He must have known exactly what she was thinking because his eyes met hers, now rather close to his own, his pupils large and intense.

"About a month." He said.

"Why?" She breathed, needing the answer like her life depended on it.

"Because I realised..." He muttered, his gaze trailing down her face before returning to her eyes. "That I don't hate you."

And then her lips were pressing against his. She wasn't sure who'd reached for whom but she didn't care because the only part of her that mattered were the parts touching him. Her hands reached for the lapels of his suit and pulled him closer, her eyes closing. He uttered a startled gasp but then his lips were responding to hers, softer than she ever would have imagined and with all the skill his nine hundred years of practice had given him as his tongue ran gently along her lips.

His hands reached round her back, pulling her closer to him. His long fingers traced her back sending shivers down her spine. A flood of excitement clouded her head as a rush of blood roared in her ears.

Unable to stop herself, a small moan escaped her lips and her fingers worked to the back of his neck.

At her touch he tensed suddenly and she paused. He stopped kissing her and his hands gently but firmly pushed away.  _  
_

She took a step back, her insides twisting with humiliation. They were both breathing heavily. Loki was looking at her shocked but whether that was pleasantly or unpleasantly surprised she couldn't tell. The tips of his ears were pink but Darcy was too busy wondering if his heart was beating as fast as hers was or if he felt so dizzy he was unstable on his feet.

Oh God what had she done?

She liked him...a lot apparently. She couldn't do that...she could never...because he would never...not to the extent that she wanted him anyway...so why try it?

"I...I'm sorry." She panted because he hadn't said anything.

"Sorry?" Loki repeated, seeming dazed.

"I shouldn't have done that." The words burst from her. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that." And suddenly she felt so embarrassed that she felt her eyes sting with tears. "I shouldn't have done that." She repeated again as though wrapping her head around the enormity of what had just happened.

She started towards the door.

"Darcy!" Loki called after her, his hand reaching for hers.

She managed to raise her head to meet his eyes which were staring at her with the strangest expression of longing that she was sure she was reading it wrong. "I'm sorry. Please," She said. "Can we just forget that ever happened?"

"I..." He said before shaking his head and letting go of her hand. It felt empty without his. "Very well." He nodded.

Darcy smiled weakly and left before he could follow. She'd managed to get out of the building and into a SHIELD car before the tears started streaming down her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title from Every Avenue's I Can't Not Love You. Wow that was a long chapter but I probably won't be able to update again until next week so hopefully this should suffice. Thanks for reading and reviewing.


	24. Regrets Are Useless

Loki must have left straight after her because she managed to sleep through the night without being woken by angry demands as to how they could be away from each other. As it happened, Darcy managed to sleep in through the good majority of the morning and woke feeling refreshed though utterly humiliated.

Last night had been a jumble of incomprehensible feelings, now she was free to make sense of them all.

She'd kissed Loki.

And not just kissed, either, full on lip action that would put any teenager to shame.

And he'd kissed her back until...he didn't.

She burned with embarrassment again. She fell onto her bed and buried her head in her pillow.

 _Darcy why did you kiss him?_ She asked herself in frustration.  _On what world would that have been a good idea?_

She didn't really understand it, he'd been perfectly happy kissing her and then he'd just stopped.

Was he taken by surprise by the kiss and responded instinctively, pushing her away when he realised what was happening? No, somehow she didn't feel that was right. She might have surprised him but Loki wasn't that slow and his repulsion ought to have been automatic.

So that struck off her second theory, that he was still disgusted by mortals. His reaction would have been quicker. And he wasn't...repulsed by mortals. Or her at least. He hugged her and held her hand and carried her. For God's sake he'd even called her beautiful.

She felt a smile creep across her face. She rolled onto her back on her bed, staring at the ceiling. He'd called her beautiful.

She froze. And sat back up with a questioning look . 'He'd called her beatuiful'? Had she really just thought that? With that giddy a reaction?

 _Woah there girl,_  she thought,  _you might like him in a 'damn he's hot I want to fuck him' way but you are Darcy Lewis. You do not get crushes. Let alone that kind of crush._

She shook her head as though to clear it, an image appearing in her mind of Loki in his suit, his cocky smile on his face. Yep, definitely an "I want to fuck you" crush.

But why had he pulled away? She wondered, her frustration mounting. Maybe he was sacred it would go further?

All right but if the stories were true, he was definitely no awkward virgin. Then again given his uh...type of lover in the stories she kind of hoped they weren't entirely truthful.

 _You'll just have to ask him_ , she told herself. Her cheeks got hotter as she thought that, knowing the conversation would be mortifying. But Darcy wasn't easy to humiliate and her desperation for an answer was outweighing her aversion to asking. She always had been rather forward.

And...she was kind of hoping he didn't do it because he was repulsed by her or something.

 _I realised I didn't hate you_.

She found herself flushing at the thought of the words, her insides squirming. They were utterly the opposite of romantic yet they made her grin in a way that made her want to bury her face into her hands.

She attempted to make herself look presentable, her mind still racing like her heart had been the night before. It wasn't really until her advances were rejected that she realised just how much she wanted them to succeed. And that was the most confusing part. She just...never got crushes on guys. She saw them as a challenge and normally got bored once she'd slept with them.

But Loki...

She stopped that train of thought. He'd got past his aversion to humans long enough to kiss her back but there was no way that he'd be able to put aside those prejudices far enough to actually like her. As in like her in a way that was more than just attraction. Maybe that was why he'd pulled away. He'd assumed she wanted all that.

 _Well, what do you really want?_  She asked herself.

She smirked self-deprecatingly as the answer came to her.

_I want to not have any feelings for him that go beyond platonic._

_Wow, well done Darcy. Always go for the easy answer.  
_

She decided that she was just going to have to ignore the feelings in the hope they went away.

She let out a groan of self loathing. Darcy was the last person to sit around moping over boys. It was just that nothing like this had ever happened before, when she liked a guy she'd flirt until she was sure she had them and then they would kiss and all the rest of it. She was impulsive in every other aspect of her life but now...she groaned again.

Realising that she couldn't put it off any longer, she left her bedroom and went downstairs.

Loki was sat in his armchair, back in his usual leather. He glanced up as she entered, his eyes resting on her for a fraction longer than they usually did. Her stomach flipped as she recalled the way his eyes had looked last night before they'd kissed: bright and clear, framed by those gorgeous lashes...

 _For fuck's sake_ , she told herself, angry at the butterflies in her stomach.  _He doesn't like you that way, get over it._

"Where's Jane?" She asked, proud of the way her voice sounded normal.

Loki's lips thinned like he was trying not to smirk, which was amusing because he never normally held in the opportunity to mock someone. "I believe she is still in her room. She came home rather late last night."

"You were still awake?" She asked. He shrugged. "Don't you sleep?"

"I try." He answered distractedly as he turned the pages in his book.

"What do you mean?" Darcy questioned. He didn't answer. She rolled her eyes. She couldn't tell whether he was being exceptionally cold to her after last night or he'd just gone back to being the vague, annoying prick he'd been pre-SHIELD-exploding-drama. "Whatever, have you packed for tomorrow?"

He sent her a sceptical look. "And what do you expect me to bring to a celebration with mortals?"

She grinned at him. "Come on, you're going to have to be a lot happier than that. It's Christmas and you promised you'd be good."

He sent her a glare which made it clear he did not think "promise" was an adequate word to describe his compliance in her threat.

"Don't you celebrate Yule or winter solstice or something?" Darcy asked.

"We have a winter celebration, yes, I doubt this 'Christmas' will compare."

"Oh my God," She sighed in exasperation, throwing her head back as she sat on the sofa. "Are you always this negative?"

"Are you always this slow?" He retorted.

Her skin itched with irritation, she hadn't felt this annoyed by him in a while. "Whatever."

She'd expected him to catch the change in tone and send her a questioning look like he normally did but he ignored her. It was like they'd had a fight but she couldn't quite remember why, each one of them challenging the other to act less bothered by it.

She wanted to bring up last night desperately but couldn't think of a way to do it that couldn't be incredibly awkward. But she had to see her family tomorrow and for that she needed Loki on her side because she couldn't deal with being at war with both him and them.

"About last night..." She started. Loki's expression didn't change but he tensed slightly and his eyes stopped moving across the page. She suddenly lost her motivation to carry the sentence on. "Um...you got home okay?" She finished lamely.

"Evidently." He answered. His snappy answer made her agitation rise again.

"Okay but about what happened..."

"I believe you said you wished to forget it." He interrupted bluntly, still not looking up from his book.

Darcy felt colour rise to her cheeks and was glad Loki wasn't watching. "Oh yeah I do it's just...you..."

He sent her a withering look over the top of her book. She opened her mouth to make a snide remark, the conversation so serious it was making her uncomfortable but he sighed a short exhalation of breath. "Darcy, you were inebriated. Your behaviour was obviously not of your own will." He added that sentence in the same silky voice as usual but his words seemed clipped somehow, like he was trying to get through them quickly. "I do not hold them against you."

She pressed her lips together. He thought she'd been drunk, that she hadn't actually wanted to kiss him. For a moment she considered telling him the truth, just to see how he'd react.

But she felt like she was dangling on the precipice of their already fragile relationship. It was probably best not to push it too far.

_You've been offered an excuse, Darcy, just take it.  
_

She stepped down off the ledge.

She wanted a reason for his behaviour but she felt like it wasn't worth risking a negative answer, not before they had to spend a few days together.

"Yeah." She said, aiming for her usual perkiness. "Glad you understand. So anyway I'm going to go pack because apparently I have to pack for you as well."

He didn't say anything as she left and she wondered vaguely if he'd been hoping for her to give a different answer.

Darcy had been busy all day making sure everything was ready and she'd slept most of the overnight journey meaning that the next time she got a chance to speak to Loki was at the safe house they were staying in.

Normally Darcy would have roomed in a hotel, not wanting to spend more than a day at home but they couldn't really let Loki near civilians. Darcy found this utterly ridiculous, he'd made no effort to hurt anyone and he'd been in a motel without killing anyone or causing world war three.

Nonetheless SHIELD had insisted on sending them to a two bedroom house on the outskirts of Hartford and therefore about an hour away from her family.

They had an hour to get ready before they had to leave.

Darcy was glad she'd packed Loki's stuff because he'd made no effort to remember and probably would have purposefully turned up in his leather ensemble just to spite her if she hadn't brought the clothes she'd bought to him.

She sat sleepily in front of the mirror in her room, a mug of coffee steaming in front of her which she wearily wrapped her cold hands round. Having spent the early part of the morning sleeping on a plane and then in a car with a God who apparently never slept, she was not in the most festive of spirits.

"Merry Christmas to me." She muttered bitterly under her breath as she started putting her make up on. The bad night's sleep had made her almost as pale as Loki.

Her parents insisted on a formal code for Christmas so she always went slightly beneath this to annoy them. Her dark purple dress, tights and boots looked more like a nice casual outfit but last time she'd worn formal she'd kissed Loki.

_Go on, blame the outfit.  
_

_Oh shut up_ , she told herself, why couldn't she be pleasantly delusional? Why was there always that small part of her brain which insisted on being truthful?

 _You're just not a natural liar_ , that truthful part of her brain said. She cursed herself for having fallen for the God of them.

In her sleepy state she'd slipped while applying her heavy eyeliner and had to wipe it off to start again.

Half an hour later she emerged. Loki was lounging on the cheap couch like it was a king sized bed. How did he do that? She wondered, was he just so arrogant he made everything around him seem more important?

"Merry Christmas," She said, stifling a yawn.

"If you say so." He replied snidely, turning the page.

She smiled, his sarcasm seemed funny again now that it wasn't after an awkward kiss. Well the kiss itself wasn't awkward, no that was nice.

"You know you're going to have to cheer up before you meet my family right?" She checked.

"Yes yes I'm aware." He grumbled.

"Getting all your misery out now?" She teased.

"I have no idea what you are talking about." He said.

"Yeah I'm sure you don't, Frost Brain. Go get ready." She commanded.

His eyes lifted to her lazily and she pretended not to notice as she took the seat opposite him and pulled her phone out. She heard him skulk off to his room and grinned with satisfaction. So the threat was still working. Darcy texted Jane Merry Christmas, knowing that her friend wouldn't be up yet and that she wouldn't have a chance to phone her later.

After briefly scrolling through social media sites, briefly because the Merry Chirstmas messages on there were frankly nauseating, Loki returned.

He was wearing dark trousers and a deep green button down shirt. It looked kind of like the Earth version of his Asgard clothes, all he needed was a leather jacket. Again she'd expected him to put up more of a fuss about having to wear human clothes but he walked with his usual confidence, his arrogance evident even without the leather.

Once again Darcy couldn't help but notice that the shirt was very well fitted. She was going to have to bookmark that website she'd ordered the clothes from.

"Oh before we go," She said, suddenly remembering the bag of Christmas presents she had in the other room. "I have a Christmas present for you."

She dashed back into her bedroom and brought the bag out, knowing she'd have to bring the rest with her anyway.

"Here," She said, holding out the hastily wrapped present.

He looked from the present to Darcy in confusion.

She rolled her eyes. "It's part of Christmas. You give presents. Just take it."

She walked over and pushed it into his hands, heinously aware of their finger tips brushing.

He still looked slightly confused. "You unwrap the paper." She explained, biting back giggles at the fact that she had to explain this.

Loki smirked as though aware of his own lack of knowledge in the area of presents. He may have known maths but if he couldn't even figure out a present then Darcy suddenly feared for the future of Jane's experiment.

Carefully she watched as his elegant fingers peeled off the tape rather than tear the paper revealing the battered leather book within.

His look of confusion intensified, his eyebrows furrowing and his mouth gaping in slight shock before quickly scowling at her in suspicion. "Darcy..." He started, his voice the kind of low smoothness she associated with him trying to think of how best to phrase something. "This is in ancient Asgardian...where in the Nine Realms did you find it?"

Darcy beamed. "You like it?"

"Of course," He muttered, gazing at the cover in awe before returning his narrowed eyes to her. "But where did you get this?"

"My friend Skye," She answered. "She works for this separate section of SHIELD. They met this Asgardian a few weeks back. His stuff was confiscated and this was with it. I don't know whether you're supposed to have it but yeah. They're hardly going to take a book off of you. She started working on decoding it but it's quite complex. Definitely nothing to do with uh...that thing you're researching which would possibly give you the skills to maybe take over the world. Sorry I'm not aiding in that." He smiled mischievously at her words, whether because he did want world domination or he was amused at the way she'd phrased it to prevent SHIELD understanding she didn't know. "Merry Christmas." She added.

Loki was still looking stunned. "Now come on, we have to go." She said.

Loki appeared to slip the book up his sleeve but as it was much too large to fit she assumed he was storing it in some magical invisible place or something.

"This present giving," Loki asked, sliding into the passenger seat as Darcy got behind the wheel. "Was I supposed to get you one?"

Darcy looked away so he wouldn't see her smile. Not exactly the kind of thing she'd expected  _him_  of all people to ask. "Yes." She replied. "Don't worry though, you can just get me a better one for my birthday." She added jokingly.

He scowled. "And I suppose my presence today is not gift enough?"

Darcy frowned. "I can't tell if you're joking or not. If you are then haha no. Present necessary. Ask Jane for further details. If not then a) You're supposed to be happy if you give a present, you look pretty miserable which leads me onto b) Your presence is not the happiest of things now. We're supposed to be a happy couple, remember?"

Darcy was driving and thus looking at the road, nonetheless she could practically sense him roll his eyes. "That will take quite a bit of acting." He muttered.

"I'm sure you'll manage." Darcy snapped, feeling somewhat offended.

"I was referring more to your part in this." He retorted dryly. "Though yes, I'm sure I will struggle too."

Darcy was, for once, speechless. Loki thought it would be hard for her to act like they were dating? Did he not own a mirror?

They drove the rest of the way in silence. Darcy's parents lived in a rather unremarkable suburban house. The kind that was surrounded by other houses to give an impression of community but each house could have fit at least three of the same size between it and the next leaving none of the residents pressured into anything more than polite conversations with their neighbours.

The house had a string of Christmas lights dangling from the roof and a wreath of holly fastened to the door.

"Well we're here." Darcy said, rather agitatedly. She saw an SUV park at the end of the road and knew that SHIELD would soon have the house subtly surrounded.

She grabbed her bag of presents and climbed out of the car. She looped her arm through Loki's and walked up the footpath. She hadn't thought to bring a coat or anything for him and could feel the warmth coming from beneath the shirt which compared to his usual leather was remarkably thin.

She sensed his eyes on her and forced her own to not wander from the door, determined not to let her own feelings interfere with the image they had to put across today.

She knocked on the door, Loki's arm moving around her shoulders like it had when they were on the run. God that felt like years ago.

The door opened onto Darcy's mom who was standing there with a knife in her hand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Green Day's Whatsername. Sorry for the wait, especially after that ending but I had coursework and a certain production of Coriolanus to go see...(not that I'm bragging...but I am kind of). This was originally going to be one chapter but I've had to split it in two because it's quite long but that should mean I can update again soon. Thanks for reading and reviewing.


	25. Don't Tell A Soul

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings: suicide and depression

Darcy looked at the knife alarmed and couldn't help but laugh as the thought "So you've heard of Loki?" flitted through her head.

Her mom's eyes looked from Darcy's shocked expression to the knife in her hand and laughed nervously. "Oh sorry, I was just chopping vegetables, come in." She said, ushering them inside.

Loki laughed as well, the deep resonances of it rolling over Darcy giving her an odd tingly sensation. His damn laugh.

Her mom started walking down the hallway so Darcy and Loki followed, after shutting the door, into the kitchen. As soon as her mom had turnt her back Loki sent Darcy an exasperated look like "do I have to laugh at every stupid mortal joke?" She replied with a "Yes! Be good!" glare.

The kitchen was covered in Christmas decorations, red and gold practically gleaming from every available surface. A large tree stood in the corner, the smell of it mingling with the smell of the cooking food.

When they reached the bigger room her mom put the knife down and grinned at them happily. Darcy had inherited her height from her mom, the woman was just as short as she was. She also had her blue eyes but other than that they were very different. Her mom was slim with a short blonde bob and a few freckles dotting her cheeks like someone hadn't finished drawing them on.

"Mom," Darcy said, forcing a smile. "This is Loki." Her mom's eyebrows twitched into a slight frown at the name, only noticeable because she knew her so well, though Darcy supposed Loki would notice it too with him having the unfortunate combination of being both perceptive and manipulative. "Uh he's Norse." She added in explanation.

Her mom smiled at her condescendingly. "I believe the term is Scandinavian, dear."

"Nope, definitely Norse." Darcy said with a grin.

Loki stretched his hand out and her mom shook it uncertainly. "Pleasure to meet you, Mrs Lewis."

Darcy's eyebrows rose impressed. Who knew he could be polite?

"You too." Her mom said. Darcy refrained from rolling her eyes. Anyone else would be like "Call me Susan" but no, her mom probably loved him being all formal.

"David!" Her mom called. "Darcy's here!"

Her mom turned back to the cooking. "Well it's nice that you bothered to come today." Her mom said.

Darcy clenched her teeth. "Well it is Christmas." She said, instead of the sarcastic reply that rolled to the tip of her tongue.

"Didn't bother for thanksgiving though, did you?" She added, smiling like it was some happy conversation.

"I told you, mom." Darcy said, her voice a slightly higher pitch. "I was busy at work."

"Oh you two aren't starting already are you?" Her dad's voice said from behind.

"I did nothing." Her mother sniffed.

"Dad." Darcy grinned, thankful for the distraction, hugging him and ignoring her mom. Her dad was by far her preferred parent though even he grated on her after a while. At least he didn't get offended by everything like her mom.

It was from her dad that she got her dark hair and his side of the family that her curvy figure came from. She'd always lamented the fact that she never got his height, though.

"Hey Darce." He said, happily. "I'm glad you came."

"Dad, this is my boyfriend, Loki." She said gesturing to Loki, the words feeling odd on her tongue.

"Boyfriend, eh?" He asked, his demeanour changing. She could practically see him look down his nose at Loki as he shook Loki's hand. His eyes fixed on Loki's shoulder length hair. Her parents tended to disapprove of anything out of the ordinary. "I was wondering when you were going to bring a boy home. I have to say, he's quite tame by your standards."

"Um.." Darcy said, a blush rising to her cheeks.

"Tame?" Loki enquired, evidently amused by the comment. Him being the guy responsible for the Chitauri invasion, Darcy was pretty amused too.

"I uh, went through a phase of only dating guys that wore eye liner for a while." She explained. Which she had, not that she'd ever liked it that much, it was more anything to annoy her parents.

"I see." He said, still with the note of amusement to his voice. Darcy wondered if her parents would still say that he was 'tame' if she'd brought him wearing his usual clothes, complete with reindeer helmet and introduced him as the guy who started the battle of New York.

"Well have a seat, Loki." Her mom said politely. "Can I get you anything? Coffee? Wine?"

"I'll do coffees." Darcy volunteered, feeling in desperate need of more caffeine or better yet alcohol. Then she remembered what had happened last time she'd had alcohol and decided that maybe more coffee was better.

"Anyone else want one?"

"No, we're fine." Her mom said as Loki took a seat at the kitchen table, her dad sitting opposite him. "And then you can help me with the vegetables."

"Where's Liam?" Darcy asked.

"In the front room." Her mom said warily.

"Why isn't he helping?" Darcy asked, her mom usually got really irritated when she didn't help with Christmas dinner so she was wondering why Liam wasn't helping out to stop her jumping down everyone's throats.

"Do you really want your brother anywhere near dinner?" Her mom replied.

"Liam cooks just as well as I do." Darcy replied.

"No he does not." Her mom snapped as though having a son with the ability to cook was a great insult. Darcy sighed. Ordinarily she would have pointed out the sexist bullshit her mom was saying but decided it would be rather hypocritical to make Loki play nice and then snap at everyone herself.

Loki smirked and she resisted the urge to flip him off.

"So how long have you known Darcy?" Her dad asked Loki.

"A few months." He replied.

"Oh. Don't you think that's a bit soon to be spending Christmas together?" He asked.

"Dad!" Darcy interrupted. "No harassing Loki."

"Right, sorry." He said to Loki who was smiling politely though looking rather awkward to Darcy. He then began interrogating him again. Darcy rolled her eyes, trusting Loki to come up with reasonable answers to her dad's 'boyfriend' questions.

"Where's Anna?" Darcy asked, assuming her mom would have made Liam's wife help even if she didn't want the men doing it.

"She's upstairs putting Ryan to bed. He was up all night with a cough, the poor thing." Her mom said.

"And Liam's just in the front room?" Darcy asked.

"Yes." Her mom said, the hint of warning back to her voice.

"Let me guess, Anna was up all night with Ryan." Darcy said.

"Your brother is on holiday." Her mom snapped. "He deserves a break."

"Right, because I'm sure Anna spending all day at home with Ryan doesn't count as work." Darcy commented.

"Darcy," Her dad interrupted as her mom's mouth opened. "Anything new?"

Yeah, her dad really wasn't the best with subtle argument interruption. On the bright side he'd apparently finished with Loki, for now at least. She supposed that meant he'd passed round one of  _So You Want To Date My Daughter?  
_

 _Oh just a bit_ , she thought. "Nah, not really." She said.

"I saw about that Earthquake down in New Mexico." He said. "You weren't affected by it were you?"

"Earthquake?" Darcy asked.

"Yeah on the 13th December." Her dad clarified.

Darcy shared a brief look of knowing with Loki. That was the day the building had exploded and they'd ended up in Oregon. "No not really." She said, her voice a higher pitch than normal.

"I've told you it's the supports in the buildings down there. Now I don't know what you do for a living but I own a construction company..." Her dad told Loki and went off on a long spiel about projects he'd had and how the economy was affecting it and a load of other boring stuff. Wow, it had taken him less than ten minutes to get back onto his favourite topic of conversation: himself.

She realised she was probably being a bit harsh but she'd had twenty three years to tolerate her family. She seemed to get irritated quicker with each visit.

Maybe in a few years time she'd arrive and leave again a second later.

Darcy passed Loki his coffee and took the seat next to him. He draped his arm round her shoulders again and she leant against him. Just because it was all pretend, she decided, didn't mean she wasn't allowed to enjoy it.

Her mom glared at her for not helping with the cooking but she'd had a long night, she at least deserved to enjoy her coffee.

Loki nodded politely as her dad spoke and actually seemed to be listening. Darcy tuned out after a few minutes and began thinking of Jane spending Christmas with Selvig. She wished she was there.

"...but I enjoy it." Her dad finished modestly, contrasting greatly to his rather pompous way of discussing business, like it was the most impressive thing in the world. "Woah, I feel like it was just me talking."

"That's because it was." Darcy muttered

"So Loki," Her dad said. "What are your intentions for my daughter?"

Even Darcy's eyebrows rose in shock. He'd moved onto round two awfully quickly. He really had to work on less awkward changes of conversation.

Loki swallowed his coffee so quickly had he been mortal he'd have been stuttering. "I'm not quite sure I understand." He said slowly, an adorable crease appearing between his eyebrows. "I have no intentions for Darcy. She presumably has intentions for herself though it is not for me to say what she does with her life."

Darcy froze, unsure how to tell him he'd completely missed the point of that question but her mom threw her dad an approving glance and her dad's lips quirked into a slight smile.

"So you have no plans for her?" Her dad clarified.

Loki's frown deepened and he threw Darcy a quick confused glance, smirking slightly though she was sure only she noticed the slight change. "Of course not, I would never be manipulative enough to scheme another's life for them." Darcy took a quick sip of her coffee to mask her derisive snort, God of lies or not there were just some things that were too funny hearing him say.  _What next 'I would never attempt to kill my brother and enslave humanity'?_  "What Darcy does is entirely her own choice."

Her parents seemed to find this an acceptable answer. Her mom was now grinning at him indulgently and her dad was quiet which was odd because the interrogation of anyone she brought home usually lasted longer.

"Why aren't you celebrating Christmas with your own family, Loki?" Her mom asked, her voice softening as she spoke to him now that she approved or whatever. "Not that you aren't wanted here, of course."

Darcy, still curled up against Loki's chest felt him go still. She glanced up, his face impassive.

"Loki was orphaned mom," Darcy explained gently, knowing it was a sensitive issue for him. "He doesn't really get on with his adoptive family."

He gave a sharp exhalation and when she looked up she saw the same barely perceptible smirk. "That might be a slight understatement." He muttered so that only she could hear. Darcy tried not to grin in case her family thought she was laughing at him being adopted or something.

"Oh that's a shame." Darcy's mom said, frowning with sympathy. "Lunch is ready." She said. "Darcy will you go get Anna?"

"Yeah sure, come on Loki." Darcy said.

She hopped up off of Loki and took his hand in his. It was slightly cooler than her own, his long fingers enveloping hers easily.

She poked her head into the living room as they walked down the hall. "Yo Liam, food is ready."

"Okay." He answered. She hadn't seen him in a year. She didn't have a problem with him or anything, she didn't get annoyed like she did with her parents. Her brother was simply the most boring person in the world.

He looked very similar to her but with her dad's brown eyes rather than her mom's blue. She also saw as he stood up that he was developing a bit of a beer belly.

Darcy continued upstairs, pulling Loki with her. He was still holding her hand despite there being no one around to watch. Maybe he was just being careful.

Either way, Darcy wasn't complaining.

The guest room was right at the end of the hall and assuming that this was where Anna and Ryan were likely to be she headed straight towards it.

She hesitated before knocking, not wanting to wake Ryan up. "Uh Anna?" Darcy asked.

The door opened and Anna walked out. She was tall, slim and wearing a pretty floral dress that would have made Darcy look about twelve. Her normally curly blonde hair was tied into a flyaway messy bun and she looked like she hadn't slept in days. She had dark shadows under her eyes and her tanned skin looked washed out and faded.

"Darcy." She whispered happily, pulling Darcy into a hug and beaming despite her evident exhaustion. "How are you? It's been too long."

"Yeah, I'm good thanks." Darcy said. "You?"

"Oh I'm fantastic." She said, her eyes flitting to the door closed behind her. "I've only just got him off to sleep. I uh may have given him a slight overdose of cough medicine."

Darcy laughed. "I'm sure he'll be fine." Anna's eyes were wandering over to Loki with curiosity, lingering on his hand holding hers. "Oh this is Loki." Darcy added.

"Hi, I'm Anna." She said and threw her arms round Loki's neck. Loki's hand tensed and he glared furiously at Darcy over Anna's shoulder.

Nonetheless, he didn't push her away or anything, just looked so insanely uncomfortable that even Darcy felt sympathetic rather than amused.

"Lunch is ready." Darcy told her, to get her off of him.

She extricated her arms quickly the hug having lasted no longer than a few seconds.

"Oh great," She said happily. "I'm starving. I'll see you down there."

And then she actually skipped away.

"She seemed..." Loki started unsurely. "Enthusiastic?"

"Unnervingly happy?" Darcy supplied.

"Yes." Loki confirmed quickly.

"Yes well believe it or not she's the only one I like so be nice." Darcy told him.

"Nice? Me?" He started, an impish smile unfurling on his face. "Why Darcy, what are you implying?"

"Do you really want me to answer that?" She asked, it was nice to have a conversation with sarcastic Loki rather than the fake polite one. The latter was scary.

They were about to walk down the stairs again when Darcy saw a glimmer of light through an open door.

"What is it?" Loki asked when she stopped.

"It's..." Darcy started, transfixed by the door. "It's my room."

Loki frowned. "What do you mean your room?"

But Darcy was already walking over towards it. The light steps she heard behind her obviously meant he was following.

She could see a glimpse of pink painted walls through it but that didn't make sense, her parents would have redecorated years ago.

The room was just as she'd left it four years ago. Rather large and painted pink, dominated mostly by a large bed in the middle of the room. Her wardrobe would be empty and she'd taken the majority of the decorations with her but one part was still as she remembered. The wall opposite her bed was covered in hundred of pictures, collaged or tacked up with pins and tape.

Darcy stared at it, her hands clapping over her mouth in shock. She turned her back to the pictures, suddenly repulsed by them. Loki was watching her warily.

"My parents..." Darcy mumbled, feeling the need to explain to him. "They told me they were clearing my room. They literally counted down the days for me to go to university since I was like twelve. They...they never really cared."

Loki stayed silent but he was watching her intently, the kind of look she'd never received from anyone before that showed she held their complete, undivided attention. Somehow it made the words easier.

"Just what we could show off, you know? Grades and popularity and awards. Never really for like...us. My brother and I that is." She was aware that she was rambling and hurried on rather self consciously. "And so all they went on about since I was young was me going to a good university and getting a husband and having kids and it was like they had my whole life mapped out." She laughed mirthlessly. "Maybe that's why I went so far the other way.

"Anyway when I did get into the university of New Mexico they said they were going to turn my room into a gym or a study or something. I never imagined they'd...Otherwise I would have cleared all this."

Loki walked towards her but she was still frozen in place. His hand cupped her face, his thumb wiping away the tears she hadn't realised she was crying. The hand was gone before she realised what was happening and he was moving away towards the pictures.

Darcy's insides constricted uncomfortably. Here came the awkward questions. She felt the inevitable certainty of his prying words puncture her skin like stab wounds. The air felt heavy with the unavoidable silences looks of pity she was sure to evoke.

She sat down on her bed. Well if it was going to happen she was at least not going to cry. She told herself, wrapping her arms round her knees.

"This girl," He asked, his finger pointing to one of the pictures. Darcy couldn't see which one he was talking about but she knew who he was talking about. She was in the good majority of the pictures.

"Izzy." Darcy told him.

Loki turned so that he was facing her rather than the wall of pictures. "You lost her?" He asked.

Darcy snapped her face up to look at him, her shock at his words stopping her from feeling upset or anything. She was so used to having to explain it, like she had to Jane or Eric or her college friends. No one had ever...guessed.

"How did you know that?" Darcy snapped harshly, too busy being surprised by his knowing about it to moderate her tone.

Loki smiled without humour, more in gentle understanding. It was weird. That look did not belong on his face. It was like he didn't want to actually say anything. "Darcy," He said softly. "Only someone scared of silence would talk as much as you do."

She picked at a stray thread on her bed, focusing on the details of the woven design to stop her mind from racing. She was already struggling to breath but she hadn't had a panic attack in six years, she wasn't going to have another one now.

"You do not have to tell me." He said, walking over and sitting next to her on the bed. "But you know far more about myself than I ever would have willingly told another."

"She killed herself when we were sixteen." Darcy said blankly, distancing herself from the pain. The words were well rehearsed from the people she had told, rolling off her tongue like grotesque lyrics to a morbid song. "She was my best friend. She'd apparently had depression for a year."

"She was my best friend." She repeated again hollowly, the words felt thick all of a sudden. Telling Loki was somehow different to telling the others. Like admitting it to herself. "And I never even knew."

"It was not your fault, Darcy." Loki told her.

"I know." Darcy said. She'd spent years blaming herself, the streams of tears and panic attacks. She'd finally come to terms with it but to have the pictures suddenly sprung on her. She got through it by denying it ever happened. Probably not the best coping technique but it worked because thinking of it was like having a knife twisted in her gut. She remembered the time she'd screamed at Loki that he wasn't the only one with problems and smiled sadly at the irony.

She never thought she'd be telling Loki hers, never thought she'd be able to confide in him with a relationship between them closer than friends.

Loki's hand covered hers. She hadn't realised how cold she'd been before he'd touched her. "I mean it." He said.

She bit her lip. "I...I get that. It's just," And the words were rushing out of her. Things she'd only ever told her therapist and even then it had taken weeks.

"Was I that bad a friend that she couldn't tell me? Did she try and I just not listen to her? You know I was out with my boyfriend when it happened? I should have been there for her."

"Darcy," He said weakly, obviously at a loss for words. He wrapped his arms around her and she leant in against his chest. She was shaking but she didn't feel like crying. She'd already done enough of that. Now she just felt numb.

It was true she ignored what had happened but she did wonder sometimes whether it still affected her. Was that why she'd helped Jane all those years? Far surpassing any duties she'd had as a two week intern because she was terrified of letting someone else down?

She didn't want to think anymore. She wanted to get drunk but that was out of the question because she had to drive home.

Loki's breath was warm on her skin. She wanted more. She wanted the warmth to pass through to her because she felt so, so cold.

Had he been anyone else she would have said he knew what she was thinking because he hugged her tighter. She leant her head against his chest for a few moments, enjoying the contact. It helped her stabilise her breathing.

_Come on Darcy, pull yourself together._

She sighed. She couldn't let herself get trapped in those thoughts. She had to distract herself before it got to that point.  
Darcy swallowed, her throat feeling drier than sandpaper.

"We should probably go back down." She said feeling better though slightly unnerved. She grinned at him weakly. "Mom will be wondering what we're doing."

Loki rolled his eyes. "Yes I'm sure the woman's worry will be quite frantic."

"Come on." She said, his mocking of her mom having cheered her for some odd reason. It was nice to know she wasn't the only one annoyed by her family. "I am hungry and there is food downstairs."

"If we must." Loki replied, standing up and following Darcy downstairs.

"Where have you two been?" Her mom demanded as they stood under the doorway.

"I was showing Loki round the house." Darcy lied easily, silently lamenting the effect Loki was having on her. Two months ago she would have been stuttering excuses.

"Oh!" Anna squealed, pointing excitedly above her head. "Mistletoe."

Darcy felt herself flush. Loki who was hovering behind her shoulder seemed not to notice. "I do not understand the significance of mistletoe." He whispered to her so her family couldn't hear.

"It's a Christmas thing." She explained. "If two people stand under it, they're supposed to," She stopped. She remembered the last time they'd kissed and the embarrassment she'd felt.  _Oh it's mistletoe,_ she told herself,  _stop being ridiculous it doesn't mean anything.  
_

_Brain, I like the way you think.  
_

She span round on tiptoes and brushed her lips against Loki's, pulling away before Loki could do so himself. He looked ever so slightly startled again. Darcy felt her lips break into a ridiculously big grin, unable to stop herself.

"...well do that." She finished her sentence and turned back round before anyone could say anything. "Sorry, like I said, he's Norse. I guess they don't have mistletoe there."

"Actually I believe my namesake once killed someone with an arrow of mistletoe." He informed her, having recovered and followed her to the table.

"Yes but that was just a myth, right?" Darcy asked sternly.

"I believe it far more likely that this 'Loki' was simply clever enough to work out the weakness of Odin's enemy and supply the knowledge of his weakness rather than be the one who actually fired the bow." Loki answered smoothly.

"Well I suppose that's not too bad then." Darcy said. "That Loki guy sounds quite a character, glad he's just a myth."

"Wait," Darcy's dad interrupted. He looked put out. That definitely counted as the kind of weirdness her family wished not to associate themselves with. She swore they made the Dursleys look accepting sometimes. "You're named after the Norse God of evil?"

"Mischief, I believe." Darcy interrupted, then looked at Loki with a slight grin. "Far more attractive."

"Okay!" Her mom broke in, her voice shrill. "Not at Christmas dinner please." It wasn't until her mom said that that Darcy became aware of the fact she'd been flirting.

"You're Norse?" Anna asked Loki curiously. "How come you have an English accent?"

"He studied in England." Darcy answered because Loki looked lost.

"Really?" Darcy's mom asked, suddenly curious. "What did you study?"

Loki sent Darcy a fleeting look. "Science." He said.

"Science?" Liam piped up, sending Loki a disbelieving look.

"Thermonuclear physics." Darcy clarified, figuring she must have read that word somewhere because she had no idea what it meant. "He works in the labs with Jane."

"How is Dr Foster?" Her mom asked.

"Jane's good." Darcy answered, slowly. She knew where this conversation was going and she didn't like it.

"And you're still her assistant?" Her mom asked, her slender eyebrows rising condescendingly.

"Yes, mom."

Her mom sighed. "I don't know whether to give up on you or keep telling you to get a better job."

Darcy looked up sharply from her food.  _You could accept that I like my job and be happy for me_ , she thought. "Is my job not good enough for you?" She demanded.

Her mom looked exasperated as though the answer ought to have been obvious. "What am I supposed to tell my friends? That you're a research assistant in a lab? It's not very impressive dear."

"Right," Darcy snapped. "Because that's what I look for in a job, it to be impressive."

"Look I know you enjoy it but..."

"Right." Darcy said abruptly. "I enjoy it. I get to work with Jane. I make decent money, a lot more than anyone else with a political science major in this economy."

"Oh but darling who cares about Einstein rosie bridges."

"Einstein Rosen Bridges." Darcy said through gritted teeth. "And Foster Theory has changed the way-"

"Exactly!" Her mom said, grinning cruelly in triumph. " _Foster_  Theory. Is it Foster-Lewis Theory?"

Darcy rolled her eyes. "Oh don't be ridiculous Jane did all the science side of that."

"I believe she had some help from a certain...visitor." Loki muttered so that only she could hear.

Darcy grinned and carried on. "And besides. It's government funded. I can make connections and stuff."

"And have you?" Her dad asked. She'd been waiting for him to join in her mother's crusade.

"Yes!" Retorted Darcy who immediately regretted it, knowing she wouldn't be allowed to name anyone.

Luckily her mom went down a different track. "Don't you think about your future?"

Darcy thought for a moment. "Actually no. Not really. I'm a 'live in the moment' kinda girl." Her parents exchanged a look. This was clearly not what they'd been hoping to hear.

"Loki," Her mom begged. "What do you think? You think she should get a better job, right?"

Darcy turned in her seat to look at him, seeing whether he'd back her up or join her parents just to irritate her. He smiled and looked into her eyes.

"I do not quite know about what she  _ought_ to do," Loki said, his voice melodic. "I do however know that she is far above the other mortals that reside here, something she does not seem quite aware of."

He seemed so sincere as he said it that Darcy's heart skipped a beat, it was so intimate that everyone else seemed to melt away. She remembered their presence with a jolt. "Humans." She stuttered, looking round at her family. "He meant humans, not mortals. His English teacher was a bit odd."

Her mom still seemed annoyed but they let the conversation drop. Her brother and dad started talking about business and the rest of the afternoon passed quickly with polite but shallow conversation. Everyone else got drunk but Darcy had to be sober enough to drive and Loki's disdain for her family prevented him being happy enough to touch the alcohol. They exchanged presents, Darcy putting on a rather good show of liking the perfume and bath stuff she received.

Darcy only wore the same brand of perfume and she didn't even own a bath.

"We'd better be off." Darcy said as the clock on the wall struck seven in the evening. "We have to get a plane and stuff." And she was still exhausted from her poor night's sleep due to travelling.

"Bye, Darcy." Anna said, hugging her and then Loki. Her mom and dad both hugged her goodbye, her mom whispering "I like him, don't mess this one up" into her ear as she did so, and all said cheery farewells to Loki. Liam was upstairs with Ryan, at last, so Darcy just yelled bye to him and left.

"Thanks." Darcy said, when her and Loki had been the car for a while. "I...really thank you so much. I didn't expect you to be so...nice?"

Loki laughed. "I suppose as the God of Lies I must be able to use pretence to my advantage."

"Really?" Darcy said, feigning innocence. "Any chance you can do it more often?"

"Absolutely not." Loki grumbled. "That almost made me miss the hospitality of the Allfather."

"Really?" Darcy asked sceptically. "My family are irritating but worse than torture?"

"Your family are the most mundane mortals it has ever been my displeasure to meet. I could practically feel my intellect dying." He complained.

"Well thank you anyway." She said, determinedly not being amused by his comments. "I guess that just shows that blackmail is highly effective."

To her surprise, Loki laughed. "I suppose some parts were not quite so terrible."

Darcy frowned. "Like what?"

But he smirked mischievously and would not elaborate.

It was eight o'clock by the time they got back to the SHIELD house and Darcy was so tired she wasn't sure she'd even be able to make it inside. As if sensing this, Loki opened the door for her and gave her his hand to help her out.

She looked at him curiously, wondering why he was being so gallant.

She opened the door to the house and flicked the light on.

Darcy stifled a yawn.

"Thank God Christmas is over." She said.

"It's not quite over yet." Loki reminded her.

"The worst part is." She told him, smiling.

"There are some parts of this holiday I feel I may need clarification on." He told her.

"Can it wait until morning?" She asked, looking longingly at the door to her room. She froze, her tiredness evaporating and her heart quickening.

Above the door to her room was a garland of mistletoe, the exact same one that had been in her parents' house.

"Did you," She started, stumbling slightly on the words because Loki was walking up to her. "Steal that from my parents' house?"

"Is that a problem?" He asked, his voice sounded deeper and even more melodic than usual, somehow. Her heart began to hammer in her chest. One of his hands reached out for her face and cupped her head in his hand like he had when he'd wiped away her tears. It felt like years ago.

Everything seemed to slow. "Absolutely not." She mumbled. His eyes really were very nice, she thought, clear and bright like frosted grass. He brought his lips down to hers and she melted into him, it was a slower, tenderer kiss than the one at the Christmas party. His lips lingered on hers gently as though he had been waiting to kiss her for years. The blood racing through her veins made her head spin.

She slid her hands round his neck only this time instead of pulling away, he leant in closer so that they were pushed together. She pulled her head back for breath, feeling slightly dizzy and was about to ask him why he was kissing her before deciding that at that moment she really didn't care. Her questions could wait until later.

She pressed her lips back to his, her top lip in between his so that she could easily part them, his warm breath filling her lungs. She bit lightly down on his lip and his caressing fingers moved from her cheeks to her hair. She felt weightless.

Her fingers fumbled for the top button of his shirt, thankful she didn't have to bother with the straps and buckles of his leather. The button slipped open beneath her fingers and everything sped up. The kiss became more intense, his touch more urgent and together they went stumbling into her bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Check Yes, Juliet by We The Kings. Thanks for reading and reviewing. If this chapter makes no sense I apologise, the cons of running on four hours sleep.


	26. Searching Days Are Done

The sunlight filtered lazily through the hazy curtains pulled across the windows of Darcy's room. She woke slowly, gradually becoming aware of the body next to her, the arms draped around her and the gentle breathing mingling with the sound of the wind outside.

She opened her eyes indolently, realising that she hadn't woken so calmly in months. She sighed in contentment and nuzzled further into Loki's arms. She realised that as soon as he woke up he'd probably run a mile so she was going to enjoy it while it lasted.

"Darcy?" His voice murmured in her ear half an hour later.

"Hmm?" She breathed.

"What time is it?" He asked. Her peaceful feeling stopped rather abruptly. That wasn't quite the question she thought he would have asked.

"Late morning?" She suggested judging by the winter sunlight filling the room.

"Hmm." Loki answered, sounding slightly surprised.

"I guess that's quite early for you?" She teased.

He let out a sharp breath of amusement which tickled her shoulder. "More surprised that I slept through the night."

She rolled over in his arms so that she was facing him and scowled. "Do you not normally?"

"Not quite." He answered, trailing his fingers across her bare skin absent-mindedly and she felt the ghost of last night's shivers tremble across her. "You have been holding out on me."

She looked at him sceptically. "How so?"

He smirked, his eyes running from her face to the top of her breasts, just visible from above the duvet. "I believe you told me you did not look good in the mornings."

A blush crept across her cheeks so she leant further into his muscular chest to avoid him seeing. The smell of his skin filled her nose and she had to refrain from inhaling that particular euphoria too deeply. "It's the absence of the cookie monster pyjamas." She said with a smile.

She felt rather than heard his laugh as his chest lifted.

"Besides," She added, starting on the subject that she still didn't fully understand. "I thought you didn't do mortals."

Loki laughed. "I believe I provided evidence to quite the contrary last night."

Darcy grinned but didn't let him see. When she managed to pull her lips taut again she leant away from him again, his hands still draping over her waist but with a slight distance between them. "And quite the change of mind it was too."

"Meaning?" He inquired.

She raised her eyebrows and tried not to sound too whiny as she spoke. "Meaning when I kissed you at the Christmas party you pulled away."

"Darcy, you were intoxicated." He said gently, his thumb still circling her waist.

She narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "And what, you wouldn't take advantage of that?" Somehow she did not quite believe it. Wasn't his whole MO taking advantage of people?

His eyes hardened as he looked at her, a sudden seriousness to his gaze. "I did not want you for just one night."

She bit her lip. "So what changed?"

His thumb stilled on her waist, her skin underneath prickled with goosebumps. "I decided that one night with you would be preferable to none at all."

Her blush deepened. "I wasn't drunk." She mumbled. "At the party. I mean, give me some credit, it takes a lot more than a few drinks to get me drunk. I was practically sober."

Loki scowled. "Then I still do not understand. I assumed that your inhibitions were lowered. I could find no other feasible explanation for your acts."

She smiled impishly and placed a hand on his abs. She never would have expected him to be quite so cut, it was a very pleasant surprise. "And you don't think your rippling abs provide explanation for that?"

His hand left her waist and took the one that was still lying gently on his chest. She looked up from his muscles and found his eyes looking at her with shocking intensity the way he had before he'd kissed her last night. "I did not quite think my past acts of attempted world domination would have endeared you towards me."

Darcy smiled. "I never said it made any sense. Then again the same could be said for you wanting to fuck a lowly mortal." She added sarcastically.

Loki bit his lip. "I admit at first I resented the attraction."

"And you suddenly felt a great love of humanity?"

He laughed. "Hardly. I realised I would have resented anyone, be they human, Asgardian or any other. Then it didn't particularly seem to matter."

"Umm sorry, is that supposed to be a compliment or something? 'I hate humanity but you are the exception?'" She mimicked him.

"Not quite my exact wording," He said with a slight grin. "Though I suppose you have captured the sentiment."

"You can't just insult my species and then make exceptions. That's kind of racist." She told him.

He smirked as though he were tolerating her.

She clenched her teeth but refrained from rolling her eyes. She somehow doubted she could lecture him into loving humanity. "So why last night?"

"You acted while I knew you to be sober." He answered.

"The mistletoe?" She asked. "But I could have just been acting or something."

"Yes but you are an appalling liar." He replied with a smirk.

This time she did roll her eyes. "Jerk." She muttered. He grinned at her. "Uh, Loki?" She asked. "There are no...cameras or anything in here, right?"

"No." He said. "Worry not, no one need know what happened."

"Pfft," Darcy retorted. "I don't care about that. I just don't want anyone actually watching."

"You do not care about anyone knowing?" He asked, raising a sceptical eyebrow at her.

She grinned at him. "Why not? They all think it's happening already. Why not make it actually true? Give them something to really talk about."

His eyes narrowed at her in bewilderment. "You mean continue this when we return to New Mexico?"

"Yeah." She answered firmly before realising that he might not actually want to. For all his 'one night' stuff he may have changed his mind. Oh well, she thought, if he didn't she'd already pushed it over the limit. She may as well proceed. "Dude, this is far too much fun to stop. I mean, purely no strings attached, friends with benefits stuff. None of that romantic crap. Just the sex."

His eyes widened in surprise. "You actually wish to proceed?"

Darcy rolled her eyes in exasperation _. YOU ARE SEXY AS HELL AND GOOD IN BED, OF COURSE I WANT TO KEEP SCREWING YOU!_ She wanted to scream. "No. I changed my mind." She said, a playful smile on her face. "I think I need more convincing."

He laughed, leaning towards her. "Well, if you insist."

"I'm having a shower." She said later, rolling out of bed. He watched her, his gaze half admiring and half prideful. An 'Yep, I chose well' kind of look that made her skin tingle with the memory of his exploring lips. She was kind of sore like she'd exercised too much the day before but she was determined not to wince or anything as she moved because she really didn't think he needed another confidence boost.

She grabbed her towel off of the chair she'd thrown it unceremoniously onto while rifling through her suitcase the day before. "We have a plane to catch this evening." She carried on, placing her hands on her hips though realising that she might not be quite so intimidating given that she was, well, naked.

"You will be on that plane." She said firmly. "So I suggest you go pack or whatever."

Loki rolled his eyes. "Yes ma'am." He muttered sardonically.

Grinning, Darcy went into the bathroom. Darcy normally took showers that were as hot as she could possibly stand but the shower didn't go up very high, the pathetic drizzle could barely be called warm. She felt like she hadn't managed to effectively wash last night from her but she found she didn't mind as much as she normally would.

She dressed into her usual jumper and jeans and went into the main room. Loki, dressed once again in his usual leather, was lounging on the sofa, the book Darcy had given him in his hands.

The kitchen was part of the living room, separated only by a long counter. Darcy's stomach was the kind of empty that surpasses growling straight into a dull ache that clawed at her insides. The kitchen was practically empty but she managed to find ingredients for pancakes so she figured that would have to do for their Boxing Day meal.

"Who did you say this book belonged to?" Loki called, not looking up from it.

"Ummm," Darcy thought while stirring the batter. "Elliot Randalph I think Skye said his name was. I assume that's not his real name." Darcy grinned, momentarily amused by the idea of an Asgardian warrior called Elliot. "He was some warrior, I think. It was a big thing on the news a while ago, something about a beseecher staff or something."

"A beserker staff?" Loki asked hurriedly, sitting up, his body rigid with tension.

"Yeah I think so."

"One exists on Midgard?" He asked, a hungry gleam in his eye.

"No." She told him, jabbing her wooden spoon threateningly in his direction as she realised what he was hinting at. "No, you are not getting access to it. No powerful weapons for you. Besides, it was destroyed."

Loki looked slightly disappointed for a moment but he quickly smiled again. "What happened when it was found?"

"Some cult wrecked Oslo." Darcy stated simply, refusing to give any extra details because he probably got off on that kind of destruction.

"There was a tale on Asgard of a Beserker warrior who went missing." Loki told her and when she glanced up again she saw that he was lying back down, his eyes scanning the pages of the book.

"What are they?" She asked.

"Specially selected warriors. Beserker staffs transform anger and rage into extra strength and often agility." He told her.

"Yep." She said firmly. "Definitely not letting you near one of those."

He laughed. "Don't you trust me, Darcy?"

She could tell he already knew her answer. "Absolutely not." She said simply and truthfully.

She poured the batter into a pan and set to trying to work the oven out. She didn't do very well with appliances that were not her own.

"And speaking of the might of Asgard," Darcy said, having looked for an opportunity to ask him before this but never being anywhere that there was no chance of SHIELD hearing. She figured the absence of recording equipment made this an ideal place. "No sign of Sif or the Asgardian armies."

"No." Loki agreed, idly flicking a page in the book. "It appears my brother was successful at stalling her. Though knowing Sif it is only a matter of time until she thinks of a reason to tell the Allfather."

"And then what?" Darcy asked, having managed to turn the oven on.

Loki exhaled softly. "Then Asgard begin searching Midgard for me."

"Do you think they'll find you?" She asked.

"Yes." Loki replied bluntly. "On their own it could take years. The problem exists in that when SHIELD discover their intentions...well they are hardly going to keep me hidden."

Darcy felt momentarily awkward. Just a few months ago even she would be supporting them in the idea of chucking Loki straight back to Asgard.

"I don't know," She reasoned. "They might quite like having a God on their side. I think they'd protect you. For a bit at least."

"I am not 'on their side.'" He said, his words clipped in annoyance. She folded her arms and glared at him. Unfortunately, he did not look up from his book to see her annoyance. "And even if I were, the choice between being allies with myself and with the might of Asgard is a simple one to make, even mortals could rationalise such a decision."

"Are you just prejudiced against every single species?" Darcy asked, shaking her head in exasperation. "Anyway, what will you do when they come?"

Loki was silent for a few moments. "I do not know." He admitted at last, as though embarrassed at the lack of manipulative plans.

Not wanting to push the subject any further, Darcy changed tact. "And have you heard any more from the people who attacked SHIELD?"

Loki stilled. "No." He said.

Darcy narrowed her eyes at him. "And will you tell me if you get any?"

"Of course." He said quickly.

 _Yeah I don't believe you_ , she thought. She knew that pushing him on the topic would just make him more likely to shut her out. She placed the pancakes onto two plates, grabbed some cutlery and walked over to him.

"Here." She said, putting it on the coffee table for him before taking a seat on the sofa opposite the one he was sprawled on. The first bite slithered down her throat like she hadn't eaten in days. It was probably because she'd eaten so much the day before.

"And the magic bond?" She asked. "You said it was only temporarily broken, right? When does it come back?"

"It would remain broken for no more than a month." Loki told her. Darcy thought back. She'd technically only been awake for a week and a half but Jane had said she'd been unconscious for three weeks. The bond would be back then. "Though I suggest we do not test it in order to check." Loki added and Darcy remembered the pain of walking into the barrier.

"No." She agreed. "Definitely not. And uh Loki?"

"Yes?"

"Why did you break it in the first place?"

His eyes stopped moving across the page. "I believe I informed you of the threats." He said slowly as though carefully calculating each word.

Darcy quickly swallowed more pancake. "Yeah but, like, why did you think breaking the bond would help?"

Loki sighed and closed his eyes. He creased the corner of the page and placed it carefully on the table before sitting up to look at her. "I assumed that if I broke the link between us then I would be able to leave in search of the sender of the threats and put a stop to them."

"But?" She asked.

"But you did not recover as I expected from my breaking the charm. I...I wished to stay. To ensure you were healed before I left as it was I who had caused your injuries. And, moreover, I did not think it prudent to test the success of my attempt to break the bond while you were weakened." He told her.

She felt oddly touched. He had, even then, been concerned. "But wait," She said, realising a sudden flaw in his plan. "How can you go after the guy who sent you the threats when you don't have magic?"

It was true his magic had gotten a lot better. He'd gone from exhausting them both with illusions of spiders, though she still shuddered at the thought, to being able to fight off twenty people less than twenty four hours after teleporting them. Still, she didn't think that would mean he was able enough to take on some super being who could communicate telepathically.

Loki looked away briefly as though thinking of his next words.

"Stop sifting through the information you have to find something worth telling me." She snapped at him.

He laughed and looked at her smiling. "The truth is that I had hoped, at the least, to draw them away from you." She froze in shock at his words until he carried on. "I had hoped by distancing myself they would ignore you. By injuring you they could have injured me and it would be much easier to capture you."

"So is that why they came searching for me?" She asked. "They'd assumed you'd gone?"

Loki's eyebrows rose quickly in surprise. "Yes, I suppose so."

So they had Asgardians and some telepathic dude after them? Not to mention some magical bond that meant she was in all this with Loki whether she wanted to be or not? The threat of imprisonment from one and torture from the other. And at least one of them completely unavoidable.

Darcy found herself laughing. Loki looked at her curiously.

"Oh God, Loki." She laughed. "What are we going to do?"

He smiled secretively, a knowing look like an inside joke only he understood.

Unperturbed, she continued laughing. "Oh wow, we are so fucked."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Divided By Friday's Face To Face. I know this is a short chapter but this is my third update in a week, I'm practically spoiling you all. Think of it as a "my coursework is done and I'm free until exams!" celebration gift. Also I'm on half term so (fingers crossed) I will be able to write loads. Thank you so much for reading, reviewing and the few messages I've received on tumblr, you guys are so cute. I hope you like it.


	27. Who Has To Know

"Wait, explain that again." Darcy demanded.

"I just told you!" Jane said, sounding exasperated. "Naked in nothing but a santa hat singing Rudolph the red nosed reindeer."

"Selvig?" Darcy asked, unable to comprehend it. "Dr Erik Selvig?"

"Yes." Jane confirmed. She glared at Loki in the mirror of the car. He was sat next to Darcy reading. "Apparently," She added loudly so Loki would definitely hear. "Having a God in your brain doesn't do wonders for your mental health."

"I assure you I never planted  _those_  ideas in his head." Loki replied curtly, not looking up from the pages of his book. "Nor did I ever gain access to those particular thoughts."

Jane sighed and shook her head in annoyance. "Are you seriously justifying it? All I know is before mind control he was perfectly sane, after mind control...well let's just say I won't be forgetting that Christmas in a hurry."

Jane pulled into the SHIELD entrance and drove to the car parking space. Darcy had oddly spent the whole morning talking to Jane, not having to get her iPod out once. And that was the new one Jane had got her for Christmas with more memory and everything.

Having parked and left the car, Jane began an incessant rambling about science.

"You have not told her yet?" Loki murmured in her ear.

Darcy had no delusions as to what he was talking about. "Dude it's not her business. It's not like we're eloping or anything."

"...so we have to finish by then." Jane concluded as they reached the labs.

"Uh, what?" Darcy asked, having listened to approximately none of what Jane had just said.

"Darcy did you seriously listen to none of what I just said?" Jane complained.

"Nooo." Darcy denied, walking to the coffee machine. "I obviously hear everything."

She saw Loki shake his head out of the corner of her eye as though amused with her ridiculous lying ability.

"I said," Jane bristled irritably. "That Stark will be here in the middle of January. They've already started making the prototype but we have to make sure it's all finished by the time he gets here."

"Wait, Stark is coming?" Darcy asked. The information of Stark's adventures swam to the forefront of Darcy's mind.

"Yes," Jane sighed in annoyance. "I just said that."

"Hmm." Darcy sighed. "I would have thought he'd want to spend more time with Pepper."

Jane looked at her suspiciously. "He spent the holidays with her. That's why he wasn't at the Christmas party. Why would you think he wants to spend more time with Pepper?"

Darcy's words froze on the tip of her tongue. She wasn't supposed to know about Stark. "Oh you know, just that stuff that happened in New York and with the Mandarin." Darcy said vaguely, trying not to go into anymore detail than the press would have released.

"Right." Jane said. "Okay Darcy can you get up the measurements for the asjokajvciahwdiw." Or at least that's how it sounded to Darcy.

She smirked as she remembered her parents' criticisms of her job.  _Yeah right,_  she thought,  _I'll be lucky to keep it what with, you know, my complete and utter lack of scientific knowledge.  
_

Sighing, she set to work looking for the stuff Jane had asked her for.

Later that night Darcy and Loki had disabled the recording equipment in her room. Jane was still downstairs working so they didn't think they'd be missed. Not that either cared about her knowing, they just didn't feel the need to advertise the fact.

Loki was running a trail of kisses along her collarbone when there was a knock at her door.

"Darcy!" Jane's voice called urgently.

They froze. "Uh, one moment!" Darcy called back, hastily pulling her underwear and jumper back on. The jumper was oversized so she didn't bother with her jeans.

"Um yeah?" Darcy asked, opening her door but blocking her room from sight.

Jane didn't say anything about her clothes; it was hardly the first time Darcy had lounged around the house in giant jumpers.

"Loki." Jane said, worriedly. "Have you seen him? I can't find him anywhere and someone's unplugged the security cameras."

"Right," Darcy said slowly, realising that now was as good a time as any to tell her. She pulled the sleeve of her jumper over her hand nervously. "About that..."

"You were looking for me?" Loki asked from right behind her. She jumped, not expecting him to be so close. She turned round to face him in alarm and saw, thankfully, that he was fully clothed. Her panic over fumbling with the leather had been easily rectified with the fact that he could apparently magically make them disappear. Apparently it was just as easy to get them back.

"Yeah..." Jane said uncertainly, frowning at him. "I wanted you to read over some notes but...why are you in Darcy's room? And why were the cameras-"

She cut off and her eyes widened with understanding.

Darcy smiled hopefully at her, praying she wouldn't freak out.

"WHAT THE HELL?" Jane yelled.

Darcy nodded, her smile turning into more of a grimace. Apparently Jane would indeed overreact.

"Tell you what," Darcy told her. "We'll have a nice chat in a moment. Let me just get some more clothes on."

"That's right you'll put some more clothes on!" Jane fumed. Darcy closed the door and ran over to where her jeans lay discarded on the floor.

"There may be a slight chance that Jane does not approve." Loki told her.

"Oh really? I never would have guessed." Darcy replied, equally sarcastic. She caught sight of herself in her mirror, her hair looked like she'd been dragged through a bush. "She couldn't have knocked before we fucked, she had to do it after..." Darcy complained as she tried to flatten it.

"Yes but then we wouldn't have actually-"

"I'm aware." Darcy snapped. Basically there was no good time for Jane to knock when they were doing that. Darcy was just annoyed Jane had found out so quickly, she kind of liked, though she didn't want to admit it, keeping her arrangement with Loki secret. It made the excitement of screwing a villain even better.

"She'll be fine." Darcy told him though really attempting to reassure herself. "She'll just be angry I didn't tell her. I mean, it's not like she can do anything even if she does have a problem."

"And you still think this worthy to continue?" He asked carefully.

Darcy glared at him. "Oh yeah, now your mouth says that when the last thing it was doing was-"

She was cut off by his laughter. He placed his hands on her shoulders and lightly kissed her forehead. "I do not wish to stop either, it is just that I would rather you were entirely comfortable with it."

She leant into him, inhaling his scent as though it would give her strength. "I am." She assured him before pulling away. "Right, wish me luck."

Darcy found Jane pacing the living room. She looked up as Darcy entered, an expression similar to the one Darcy's mom had worn when she was fifteen and snuck out after curfew. Darcy's stomach tensed like she was in trouble.

"Sit." Jane demanded, her voice scarily taut like she was fighting to remain calm.

Not wanting to anger her anymore, Darcy took the nearest seat on the sofa, perched on the edge as though ready to run if she had to.

"How long has this been happening?" She asked.

Darcy shrugged and picked at a stray thread in her jumper. "Since Christmas."

Jane let out a breath she'd evidently been holding. "Good." She said. "Well not good, obviously but not that long."

"Jane if you're going to lecture me can you just do it already?" Darcy asked wearily.

"Oh don't you take that tone with me." Jane said, actually pointing at her.

"Jane!" Darcy protested. "You're not my mom."

"Well someone here has to think about things rationally and clearly it isn't you." She snapped. "What the hell are you doing?"

"Uh I think it is fairly obvious what we were doing, you want more details or something?" Darcy asked, half smiling. Jane didn't return her grin so Darcy quickly dropped it.

"Are you two dating or something?" Jane asked.

"No." Darcy replied instantly. "Just sex."

Jane shook her head slowly. "I don't know if that's better or worse. Why?"

Darcy shrugged again. "Because sex is fun and God knows he needed to get laid."

"Why him?" Jane demanded.

"Uh have you seen him?" Darcy replied as though it were obvious. "The guy is sexy as fuck."

Jane closed her eyes as though wincing. "Please never say that about Loki again."

Darcy grinned. "All right just because you prefer his brother..."

Jane shook her head with exasperation. "I just don't understand it, Darce. If half the guys at SHIELD found out you wanted casual sex they'd come running. You could have any one of them."

"I don't want any one of them." Darcy retorted.

"What you want Loki?" Jane asked incredulously.

Darcy thought for a moment. It was a question that if asked a few days ago would have baffled her. Thankfully now she was perfectly happy with her current standing with Loki. She wanted nothing more and nothing less. "Yeah." She answered. "He's good looking. He's great in bed." Jane grimaced. "And he's convenient. He's always here."

"Oh right because I'm sure Loki's proximity is the only reason you want to go at it with him."

"No I just told you it wasn't." Darcy snapped in irritation. "Look Jane, I get it if you don't like it but we're both consenting adults and-"

"' _Consenting adults_?'" Jane repeated shrilly. "Darcy this isn't some boy I don't like! He's a psychotic mass-murdering alien who attempted to take over the world!"

Darcy jumped up angrily. "Wow Jane thanks for telling me that because I obviously didn't already know!"

"Clearly you don't!"

"You don't have a problem with said 'psychotic mass-murdering alien' when he's helping you with your little experiment!"

"That's different." Jane said through gritted teeth. "The whole point of it is to get Thor to drag him back to Asgard and throw him in a dungeon where he belongs. Him helping me with the Rosen Bridge does not establish a dangerous attachment between us."

"Dangerous attachment?!" Darcy repeated in anger, not trusting herself to respond respectably to the first part of Jane's reply. "It's just sex!"

"But it's not just sex, is it?"

"You're the one who told me I should be friends with him." Darcy pointed out.

"I said you should be polite. You're practically best friends. Even that I could let slide but jumping into bed with him?"

"In case you haven't noticed," Darcy said coolly. "I already have a dangerous connection with him just through magic. And I dare you to go through what I have with him and not end up friends."

"Friends." Jane repeated. "Friends I could understand. But this?"

"We are friends. That's exactly what we are. We just happen to have sex. For God's sake Jane stop being so fricking Victorian about this."

"I don't have a problem with you having sex. I have a problem with you having sex with him." Jane retorted angrily. She was breathing heavily. Darcy glowered sullenly. Apparently nothing she said was going to convince her. "I'm sorry. I don't want to fight with you, especially not about Loki. It's just...you're making a mistake with him."

"I don't care."

Jane shook her head sadly. "You could do so much better than him."

Darcy didn't say anything, just carried on picking the loose thread on her jumper. There was of course very little doubt that Loki was not perfect but Darcy couldn't really think of much else she wanted. You know, except for sanity. It would be nice if he could have that. And not be on the run from his home planet. Or an alien. Or...

Okay but no one was perfect, right?

"Jane," Darcy said slowly. "I get where you're coming from, I do. And I totally should have told you what was happening it just never seemed like a good time.

Like 'oh how was your Christmas?' 'fabulous oh and by the way Loki and I are banging now' wouldn't really cut it." Jane smiled weakly so Darcy continued. "And I like him, I know you might not think I should or whatever but I do and there's nothing  _I_  can really do to change that. There's a lot  _he_  could do, don't get me wrong, I just mean I can't make a conscious decision to stop being friends with him. We really are just friends with benefits."

Jane frowned. "I suppose that makes sense but really, when has friends with benefits ever actually worked?"

"That's just because stupid people try it who have romantic feelings for each other." Darcy said, ignoring the fact that she definitely had feelings for Loki. "But Loki's got an emotional void the size of the grand canyon and you know how I feel about crap like that."

"Crap like emotions?"

"Like romance," Darcy corrected. "I'm getting all the good stuff of a relationship without the messy relationship stuff."

Jane sighed. "Okay, Darce. If you're sure. I have no right to tell you not to. It's just that I worry about you."

"Well don't." Darcy said, not unkindly. "I'm a big girl, I can look out for myself."

"All right." Jane said grudgingly. "Just do me a favour, next time you have sex with a villain straight out of a comic book please tell me."

Darcy laughed. "Don't worry, I think Loki counts as more than enough weird guys for a life time." She was picturing his golden horny helmet and glowy-stick at this point.

"How did it happen anyway?" Jane asked, finally sitting down on the sofa next to her. She put on a ridiculously low and posh British accent. "Why Darcy you are a mortal and I utterly despise your very species but you were born to be ruled so let us start in the bedroom!"

Darcy's mouth gaped open in shock and she choked out breathy laughter. "Jane!" She scolded.

"Oh come on," Jane said with a grin. "Just tell me, please because I'm really having problems picturing how this came to be."

Somehow Darcy was reluctant to divulge the truth about it. The thing with the mistletoe was too intimate and...sweet. Of course the look of lust on his face as he'd kissed her wasn't quite sweet but the action kind of was and that was definitely not a word she ought to have associated with him. Of course he'd probably done it to impress her or be clever. Whatever his motivation, however, the fact remained that it was undoubtedly romantic, far too romantic for their current meaningless, at least to him, sex. And much too romantic to tell Jane.

She'd probably get the wrong idea if she said that and think that Darcy liked him romantically. Which would of course be completely right only Jane would then think Darcy wanted a relationship. Which she truthfully did not. Her romantic want of Loki was being perfectly fulfilled without that.

"Uh we got kind of drunk on Christmas and-"

"We?" Jane clarified.

"Well I did. He had a lot of wine too but I doubt he was drunk because he's Asgardian or whatever." Darcy rambled quickly, aware that she was inadvertently describing Loki's perception of their first kiss. "And when we got home I kissed him and he just went with it I guess because next thing I knew we were in bed together. It was fun so we figured we'd continue."

"And you realise, right, that everyone at SHIELD will know?" Jane asked cautiously.

"There are already rumours." Darcy said. "Adam told me."

"You didn't tell me!" Jane said accusingly. Darcy felt slightly guilty, she hadn't really told Jane a lot recently. She thought of the hacking lesson she had planned on reading through after she'd finished with Loki. Jane didn't know about that. Or the truth about just how much danger she and Loki were in. Or the obvious truth about how much she actually liked Loki.

"Must have forgotten." Darcy said hollowly though perhaps subtly as Jane did not apparently hear her tone. "Anyway, I don't really care. I only talk to Matt and he'll be fine with it." Oh God she hadn't prepared herself for Matt's jokes about it. She cringed, that was almost worth reconsidering sex with Loki.

"Okay then." Jane said, standing up. "I'm going to go start cooking. Just as long as you've thought this through."

"I have." Darcy answered, hoping desperately that this was the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title from The All-American Rejects' Dirty Little Secret. In response to requests for me to write a sex scene believe me when I say that's a really bad idea. I can't even read make out scenes let alone sex. Any that I wrote would be like "and then they did the sex and it was gross but they liked it for some reason" so yeah, this is better. Thanks for reading and reviewing. Your reviews are the driving force behind this fic so thank you to everyone who takes the time, I'm appalling at replying to them because I really don't know what to say to most of them but thanks all the same because they mean a lot.


	28. The Sons of Regret

Jane kept them so busy working over the next few weeks that Darcy was hardly aware of the New Year flying by until, before they knew it, it was the day before Stark's visit.

Darcy was sat on the floor of the living room painting her toe nails out of sheer boredom more than anything else. Loki read in the corner, apparently unaware of the fact her eyes continuously wandered to him.

"What?" He asked as he looked up, having caught her eye.

"Just..." Darcy started. "Nothing."

"Very well." He answered, returning to his book.

Darcy's eyes went skyward.  _Lord give me strength_ , she thought. "You don't seem very...perturbed."

He glanced up, his eyebrow quirked. "Perturbed?" He repeated incredulously.

She scowled. "What?" She said, a little defensively. "I read. Anyway, shouldn't you be a little more anxious?"

"Should I?" He asked, his tone one of airy nonchalance as though he were merely commenting on the weather. He returned to the book.

"Yes you should." Darcy told him.

"Care to explain?" He asked, again with a tone implying he didn't much care.

"Well for one Stark is coming tomorrow." Darcy pointed out. "And he's one of the guys that sent you packing to Asgard."

"With the assistance of six others." Loki retorted. "Not to mention a nuclear bomb."

"Yeah well I wouldn't put it past Stark to make a miniaturised one or something." Darcy said. "And anyway, there's the reason he's coming." Loki didn't respond. "You know, so that we can form a bridge to Asgard. So that Fury can yell at Thor to take you back to Papa Odin."

He glared at her, suddenly angry. "He is not my father." Loki spat. Darcy jumped in shock. It wasn't that he'd never spoken to her like that; it was just that she was so used to his sarcastic retorts that one of uncontrolled anger surprised her.

Darcy took her time replacing the lid on the nail varnish bottle before she replied to him. "He raised you." Darcy pointed out. Loki opened his mouth to respond so she hurried on. "Look I'm not defending him or anything. He is an absolute asshole from my understanding but just because he's a shit father doesn't mean he's not actually your dad."

Loki looked like he was going to argue back but apparently decided it was pointless so returned to his book.

Darcy bit her lip, she didn't quite buy his act of not caring about tomorrow. The problem was she couldn't tell how he felt. Anxious? Scared? Excited?

She supposed there was no point in asking given that he only gave a straight answer five percent of the time. She'd just have to wait and see.

"Uh Jane?" Darcy asked. "SHIELD is that way."

She saw Jane roll her eyes in the mirror. "Darcy, do you even pay attention to anything I say?"

"That may just be the most hypocritical thing you've ever asked me." Darcy replied. Jane laughed.

"Okay, you have a point. But surely you paid attention to Thor arriving? And...leaving?" Jane asked, clearly still touchy about the latter.

"Kind of hard to miss." Darcy replied. "What with the giant storm and then you hitting him with a car."

"That was an accident." Jane hurriedly said as Loki looked up from his book, an almost impressed look on his face.

"Yeah yeah and so was my tasing him."

" _Anyway_ ," Jane said, not wanting to have that conversation again. "That 'giant storm' was an Einstien Rosen Bridge."

"Yeah Jane I'm aware, you only go on about them like five thousand times a day."

"Then you should know that we couldn't possibly create one in an underground research facility." Jane snapped. "How exactly do you propose we create a storm inside?"

Darcy was on the verge of asking how they were supposed to create one outside but realised that that was kind of what they'd been researching for the last two years. "So we're going to an outside base?" She asked instead.

"SHIELD have put up a portable research lab like they did around Mjolnir." Jane asked.

"Ahh mur-mur," Darcy said with a contented sigh, turning her head to Loki. "Jane, remember when that was the only Asgardian thing we had to put up with?"

Loki flicked a page. "It may be more insulting if you could pronounce Mjolnir properly."

"Pfft, whatever." Darcy replied.

"Right we're here." Jane said happily. She'd pulled up outside what looked like a small marquee. It was surrounded in every direction by barren desert.

Darcy got out to inspect it better. The guards were getting out of their SUVs and positioning themselves around the area. Outside the warmth of the car, the bitterly cold air bit at her skin. She shivered and wrapped her arms round her chest.

"If you told me we would be outside then I would have brought a coat." Darcy grumbled.

"I did tell you, Darce." Jane said, her voice sounding strained and when Darcy turned round she saw why. She was attempting to pull all the equipment out of the car by herself.

She went over to help but before she got there Loki appeared next to Jane and took, or more aptly snatched, the heavy boxes from her arms and marched them inside, looking annoyed.

Jane looked vaguely shocked. Darcy however felt a ridiculous surge of jealousy. He was only ever nice to her, why was he suddenly being nice to Jane? Painfully aware of how ludicrous and petty such thoughts were, Darcy cringed with self hatred.  _Stop being so idiotic_ , she told herself.

"Since when does he help with...well anything?" Jane asked.

"I have no idea." Darcy said, trying to keep her voice level.

Loki re-emerged from the tent to retrieve more equipment from the boot of the car. Jane continued to look wary.

"Yo why are you helping?" She asked him.

He paused and frowned at her. "Am I not supposed to?"

"Supposed to?" She repeated. "Since when has that mattered? You're Loki, remember?  _YOU DO WHAT YOU WANT!_ " She mocked his voice. "And that's never included helping before."

Loki had rolled his eyes and continued walking past her. "If these instruments had been dropped and broken then they would take weeks to repair. I would rather not prolong this."

Jane raised a sceptical eyebrow. "And you want us to do this experiment?"

Loki ignored her. As much as Darcy wanted an answer to that question too she couldn't help feeling a little smug that Loki wasn't answering Jane.

_Get a grip._

"Speaking of the experiment." Darcy said. "Wasn't the whole point of it for Fury to yell at Thor to take Loki back?" Her voice had gone slightly higher towards the end of her sentence so she paused to regain control of it. "Shouldn't Fury be here?"

"This is just to test the prototype." Jane said. "I doubt it'll actually work."

But apparently Darcy's voice wasn't the only one betraying their feelings. Jane's wavered in her final sentence. Darcy knew very well that Jane had not quite managed to quell the hope, however slight, that it would work. That she would see Thor today.

Darcy hoped it worked for Jane's sake, managing to separate that from the hope that it didn't for Loki's. The failure of this experiment would no doubt mean a return to the kind of sadness that had plagued her friend when Thor had left.

"And what about Stark?" Darcy asked to distract Jane from thinking about Thor.

Jane frowned slightly and looked around the vast expanse of nothingness. "He should be here any minute now." Then she looked at the tent. "We should probably get everything set up."

Darcy followed her through the fabric door. Inside looked just like their lab back at SHIELD only with white tarpaulin walls rather than shiny metal and glass.

"Can you set up the computers while I do the rest?" Jane asked.

"Yeah sure." Darcy replied, pushing her glasses back up her nose. Jane's stressing over today had made her rush and therefore she hadn't had time for contacts.

"I swear I can't remember you being so good at this." Jane continued.

"Umm yeah, just practice I guess." Darcy replied, still having not told her about the programming/hacking course. Skye's friend who was in charge of the course had placed Darcy on the accelerated course because apparently she showed a 'natural talent' for it, which was nice. She felt Loki's eyes on her as she walked to the computer. Loki knew about the course, obviously and was presumably confused about why she hadn't told Jane.

Darcy was kind of confused herself, it just felt like by announcing the course it would seem kind of ungrateful for the job she was already lucky to have.

It was a little more tricky than usual to get everything running: the distance from SHIELD was making the computers slower and to worsen this it sounded like a storm was coming. The wind was howling through the thin tent walls so that Darcy was convinced she'd never be warm again. When she voiced her concerns over the weather to Jane, however, she was told that if anything a storm would be good for contacting Thor.

An hour later, Darcy was putting the final touches on the programmes. Jane was frantically pacing outside because Stark still hadn't turned up.

At last there was just one computer left to sort out, unfortunately it was being incredibly slow. Like something from the nineties. Darcy almost expected to hear the dubstep of the dial up tone as she typed.

She muttered insults at it as she pressed the keys.

"Problem?" Loki's voice asked in her ear and she felt his arms wrap round her waist from behind.

Darcy tensed slightly, surpassing butterflies in her tummy. At this point they felt more like kangaroos jumping about inside her stomach. "Just a slow computer."

She answered, managing to keep her voice steady. She carried on typing, resisting the urge to melt into his arms. "Shouldn't you be busy sciencing with Jane?"

"It's all done." He replied. "We are merely waiting for the man of Iron."

"Is that why you're getting so cuddly?" She asked, the warmth of his arms blocking out some of the cold. "You're scared and need my protection?"

He laughed and the kangaroos did backflips. "Hardlly." He chortled. "I simply thought you might be a tad more dismal."

She scowled and continued typing. "Why?" She asked, feeling like she was missing something.

"My brother might appear," Loki said, a hint of humour in his voice. "He may drag me back to Asgard. And what would you do without my company?"

Darcy grinned, glad that he couldn't see. She pressed enter on the computer. It was finished.

Still smiling she turned round in his arms so that she was facing him and cupped his face in her hands, pulling him level with her and pressing her lips to his, slowly and gently. She pulled away, still holding his face and still grinning.

"I guess you'll just have to try your hardest not to be." She answered.

Loki shook his head in amusement and Darcy instead crossed her arms. His hands had fallen to her hips when she'd kissed him and he now looked at her hungrily, like he was trying to savour the sight of her in case this really was his last time seeing her.

"I mean it." She told him crossly. "Even if they do take you back, they'd have to take me too because of the spell and I doubt they'd let us stay together. I will really not be happy if that kiss was the last thing I have to remember you by." He smirked. At least they were agreed in their approach to the matter, it was quite nice that they both tended towards the 'treat everything like a joke until it's a threat' option of coping.

"No," He agreed. "We definitely could not have that." He lifted her up so that her face was level with his but before their lips could touch a deafening roar seemed to fill the marquee.

They jumped apart abruptly; their proximity had somehow managed to convince them both that they were alone. Now however Darcy recognised the sound as a very fast sports car driving nearby.

She ran out the tent entrance, Loki beside her and watched as an inky black convertible hurtled towards them.

It stopped with a screech outside the tent, billowing dust up so that the driver was obscured. When it cleared she saw Tony Stark, sunglasses on despite the grey clouds covering the sky, hopping out over the top of the door.

He removed the glasses and looked at them all. His eyes lingered a little longer on Loki, a hatred so fierce in his eyes that Darcy could almost have convinced herself she'd imagined it as she'd never seen Tony Stark so bothered about anything before. Instead, however, the file she'd read on Coulson's aeroplane drifted to the forefront of her mind. She was willing to bet a good part of his Post Traumatic Stress Disorder had something to do with Loki throwing him out of a window and generally invading the world.

She felt a sudden rush of admiration for Stark. It must have taken some serious guts for him to come here, knowing Loki would be here. Loki might not have scared him but he'd probably be trigger worthy or something, right?

The hatred was gone in a second, instead he was cockily grinning. "Are you all just going to stand around and stare? I thought we were here to build a Rosen Bridge?"

Jane seemed to recover first. "Yeah, we were here an hour ago."

Stark shrugged. "I stopped for breakfast, great cafe in Sante Fe. Best waffles in New Mexico."

Jane mumbled something unhappily and stomped back inside to check on the experiment. Darcy felt slightly awkward as she stood there with Stark and Loki glaring at each other.

"I swear I didn't defeat a Chitauri army just for you to turn up in New Mexico." Stark said after a few moments.

"As I recall, it was not you who defeated them." Loki answered.

"I went through a wormhole with a nuclear bomb." Stark snapped. Darcy felt startled, this was the first time she'd ever seen him lose his cocky persona. "I almost died and you turn up here? Now? Is a year the standard punishment for attempted world domination in Asgard?" He spat.

Loki smirked. "Perhaps you ought to give me the drink next time."

Stark's lips twitched with amusement, apparently unable to stop himself.

"Well from what I hear," He said, his eyes flicking to Darcy. "Your stay here on Earth has been quite nice. You know, the people quite hospitable."

Darcy looked at him warily. "What exactly are you implying?"

"Implying?" Stark said, sounding offended. "I'm not implying anything, I'm asking. Are you or are you not fucking Rudolph over here?"  
 _Just how far had the news spread?_  Darcy smiled despite herself.  _Rudolph_ , she thought,  _she'd have to remember that one._ "Rudolph? Hell no. I'm fucking Loki, yeah but no horned helmets allowed in the sack."

Stark laughed appreciatively, apparently approving her use of crude language. Personally Darcy was glad that Jane wasn't around to hear her speak of her and Loki so bluntly. She'd probably have a coronary.

"I thought you had a thing for Rogers?" He asked.

"Rogers?" Darcy asked confused then realised he was talking about Steve Rogers aka Captain America. "Oh no, that was one kiss. We were both drunk."

Stark raised an eyebrow.  _Oh shit another person who can do it?_ Darcy thought _, this is just getting unfair._ "The Captain can't get drunk, part of his super humany powers."

"Well, I was drunk at least." Darcy retorted unabashed.

"You kissed Captain America?" Loki asked, looking slightly disgusted.

"I was drunk!" Darcy protested.

"Yes," Loki replied. "I was merely under the impression you had taste."

"Yeah well you'd know all about her taste, wouldn't you Reindeer Games." Stark smirked.

"Anyway," Darcy interrupted, not sure she wanted Stark to continue discussing the details of her sex life. She might have been on better terms with him than any other avenger but she would still like to keep that topic away from him. "Don't we have an experiment to run?"

She turned before they could comment. Stark's reaction was reminding her too much of Matt's very cringeworthy response:

"Look I didn't believe the rumours at first but do you think I'm blind? You can barely keep your hands off each other." He'd said, a few days after her talk with Jane when he'd been stationed outside their lab. She hadn't really understood what he'd meant at first because her and Loki were keeping all affection strictly for her room but she soon started to notice her shoulders brushing against him when she passed him or his fingers purposely grazing her own as he passed her notes.

"So I basically just have a few questions? How does it even work because he's an alien so like, normal anatomy or what? And does he even know how to do it or do you have to show him? And what about protection because he totally seems like the kind of guy who'd say he's too big for a condom."

Unable to form words for a few seconds after his rapid questioning, it had taken her a while to tell him that he was being a dick.

"Okay seriously, though, you don't want some ice kid. Or what about a Godly STD or something?"

She'd tapped a thin black line on her arm. "Hormone implant." She'd said. "Stops me getting pregnant for five years and I only got it half a year ago. As for any illnesses I'm going with the assumption he can heal them if that situation arises."

This had shut him up for a moment as apparently he hadn't expected her to answer him, nor had he expected so graphic answers. A few seconds later he looked at her thoughtfully. "Does he make you kneel?"

She'd refused to respond to anything after that.

She tried to put these memories out of her mind as she double checked all the computers were working.

Stark walked in and, despite the cold, threw his blazer over one of the computers. Jane pushed it off, annoyed.

It was only with the absence of the blazer that Darcy noticed something different.

"Uh, aren't you supposed to have a glowy blue thing in your chest?" Darcy asked, certain she would be able to see the blue glow through his white t shirt.

Stark tapped the bit of his chest where it ought to have been and where presumably a different sound would have been made than the soft tap of him poking his chest. "I had my  _miniaturised arc reactor_  removed. It was a distraction."

"Did you bring it?" Jane asked.

"Darling, I always bring it." He grinned.

"The arc reactor, Stark." Jane snapped, clearly not over him being late. "Not your ego."

"I'm accompanied by both." He said, pulling a small blue ring out of his pocket.

At this Jane smiled, apparently getting over his lateness in response to his actually bringing their power source.

"Thanks," She said, taking it from him. "Come on, we should go do it."

She led them out back where a light rain had begun to fall. Just outside the tent was the contraption they'd been working on for the past month. SHIELD must have brought it here because it was much too big for them to fit in their car.

In the centre of the mass of metal was an arch, eight feet high with wires running round the edges. One of these led to a control booth a few feet away with an array of buttons and dials. Jane walked up to the arch and inserted the blue circle into a groove for it. Immediately the whole thing started to whir.

Darcy felt slightly disappointed. It looked kind of like a time machine from a film from the seventies. Definitely not powerful enough to actually work.

"Quickly!" Jane said, anyway. She was fiddling with the arch as Stark moved to the control panel.

Darcy stood next to Loki, watching as neither of them had anything else to do.

The rain which was at first a gentle drizzle was now getting heavier and heavier at an unnatural pace. The equipment was practically roaring and shaking dangerously.

"Should I continue?" Stark shouted.

"Yes!" Jane called and Darcy saw an almost wild glee in the physicist's face.

Darcy turned to Loki in concern. "Is this safe?" She asked.

He shrugged. "Hopefully."

Darcy's concerned expression morphed to one of fear as she glanced at Jane's proximity to the machine.

Loki laughed, apparently mistaking her expression. "You have no need to worry, Darcy. If something goes wrong I can easily teleport us out of here."

"It's not me I'm worried about." She told him. Jane looked far too much like a mad scientist with her hair whipping round her face in the fierce wind.

Darcy shivered; she was drenched, the rain so thick it was more like having a bucket of water poured over her.

She watched as Stark grit his teeth and pulled a lever down.

The effect was immediate. A reverse bolt of lightning rose from the metal arch, striking the sky. The rain stopped like someone had flicked a switch on it and the air in the arch moved like heat waves.

When it stilled, she could not see the barren land on the other side of the arch but rather smooth cobblestones and the distant goldish gleam of a city. More importantly, she saw Thor, a look of surprise on his face.

"Jane!" He shouted, a childish grin breaking across his face, transforming him from fierce warrior to the pancake loving guy who'd smiled for her facebook picture. He ran through the arch and enveloped Jane in his muscular arms. Jane wrapped hers round his neck as he lifted her up.

"That's disgusting." Darcy said as she watched them kiss, unable to turn away.

"They look like two bilgesneip fighting over food." Loki said with equal disgust. Darcy didn't know what a bilgesneip was but she could see what he meant, they kind of looked like they were eating each other.

"Don't worry, we look much better." She whispered to him.

"Honestly, do they not need to breathe?" Loki asked, not troubling to keep his voice down so that it instead carried across the desert.

Thor put Jane down, her grinning uncontrollably and him smiling too as he cradled her face in his large hands. His eyes didn't move from Jane but when he spoke it was to Loki. "Brother, must I have your lips sewn shut again?"

Loki glared at him.

"Wait," Darcy asked him. "That actually happened?"

She recalled reading a myth about that.

"Yes." Loki muttered bitterly, as though the memory of the stitches was still fresh in his mind.

"You seriously bet someone your head?"

Loki shrugged. "I was drunk. It was Alfheim."

"I see." Darcy said, taking in this news. "Next time you're drunk can't you do what normal people do and get into a fist fight or something?"

"I'll try." He answered, a slight smile on his face.

"Jane," Thor said affectionately. "How I have longed to see you again."

Jane frowned. "Then why didn't you?" And her voice rose. "Two years!" She shrieked and stepped back so that his hands fell limply back to his sides. He looked like a kicked puppy.

"I was making the universe safe! The nine realms have been plagued with violence since a certain attempt of genocide was made on Jotenheim."

Darcy narrowed her eyes at Loki, certain that he was probably responsible for that. He shrugged in response and she rolled her eyes.

"Any other attempted genocides I should know about?" She asked.

"No just the one." He said.

"Oh well as long as it's just the one." She muttered sarcastically.

Thor's eyes flicked to Loki before returning to Jane. "What has he done?" Thor demanded. "Well really," Stark said, having remained unnaturally quiet this entire time. "I think it's more a question of who he's done."

Darcy rolled her eyes again and crossed her arms _. Not this again_ , she thought with irritation.

"Stark," Thor nodded in greeting as he saw him. Then he frowned in confusion. "I'm afraid I don't understand."

"Well," Stark said with amusement, clearly revelling in being the one who got to tell Thor. "You see, Darcy over there has been finding out exactly why they call your brother the silvertongue." Thor sent her a bemused look as though wondering how she fit into any of this.

"Darcy." He greeted with a grin.

"S'up." She replied, smiling. "How's space?"

Thor frowned before looking vaguely amused. "Space is fine." Then he turned back to Stark. "I still don't understand what you are suggesting, Stark."

Loki rolled his eyes and muttered something that sounded suspiciously like "dim-witted oaf" and given that he'd called Natasha a "mewling quim" Darcy felt this insult was a bit soft.

Stark grinned, clearly enjoying himself far too much. "He's had access to her tesseract if you know what I mean."

"Do you have to be a walking innuendo?" She hissed at Loki.

He did not deign to reply.

"Her tesseract?" Thor asked.

"Darcy and Loki are having sex." Jane explained.

Thor's lips formed an almost comical "o" of realisation before he scowled at Darcy. He seemed almost determined not to look at Loki and Darcy felt some definite chilly vibes coming from him that made her wonder if Loki wasn't the only one with Jotun blood.

"You could do far better, Darcy." Thor told her sincerely. Jane smiled smugly.

"That's what I said."

"I don't think you are in any position to talk." Loki retorted. Thor ignored him.

"Jane, I am of course overjoyed to see you." He said, turning back to her. "But it is incredibly dangerous for me to be seen here with you. I assume you didn't build a portal just to tell me of my brother's exploits."

"Right," Jane said nervously. She was close to Thor again though Darcy hadn't seen her move. "Well we didn't actually think it would work. Fury wanted us to build it so he could tell you to take Loki back."

Thor's lips tightened at the mention of Loki's name. "So he has done something?" He asked.

"Nothing other than New York." Jane said, her voice implying that New York was more than enough, which Darcy happened to agree with. She didn't need him doing something else. Not when she wasn't entirely sure it wouldn't stop her liking him.

"I see." Thor said, after a moment. "If I take him back, however, he will most likely continue in the punishment of the Allfather. My Father is a great king but I cannot help but feel he is wrong about this. As much as I am loathe to admit it, he does not quite deserve that."

"I get that," Jane argued. "But you can't just send him here."

"I could see no alternative."

"What than sending him back to the planet he tried to rule?!"

"Please do continue discussing what ought to happen to me." Loki interrupted sarcastically.

"Shut up, Loki!" Jane and Thor said at the same time.

"Loki is staying here." Darcy interrupted. Everyone went quiet and looked at her. She squirmed uncomfortably under their gaze and tried not to blush. "We are not sending him back to certain torture." She told Jane who at least had the decency to look abashed. "He hasn't done anything while he's been here. Actually he has, only those things were saving my life at least twice. Maybe more. I don't care if that's because you put a charm on him or whatever. He's paid for New York." She said, her eyes flicking to the faint white scar across his eye, the only remainder of his marks from Odin. "Unless he does something else we shouldn't even consider further punishment or whatever."

"Uh he threw me out a window." Stark called. "Is everyone forgetting that?"

Everyone ignored him, something Darcy was sure was a first in his life.

"Darcy," Thor said in a tone that said he thought she was being unreasonable. "I appreciate what you are saying but he has shown no remorse. I am glad you do not object to him staying but it must only be short term, until a more suitable way of holding him can be arranged. He has changed." Thor's voice hardened.

"The boy worth protecting is gone. I see only the man who sees cruelty as a game and would not hesitate to play again."

"Well then maybe you should look closer. Or you know, actually look at him." Darcy snapped.

"Darcy," Loki said. "That is enough. I will not have you vouching for my good nature when you and I know very well it is a lie. I will not pretend to be content with this pitiful life. Nor will I beg to remain free of the All Father's punishment. And I will certainly not have you begging on my behalf."

Darcy turned on him, her eyes stinging slightly from his words. She was only trying to help but if he was going to start acting like it was distasteful to have her arguing for him then he could go fuck himself because she certainly wasn't going to keep doing it.

He refused to look at her, instead still staring daggers at Thor.

"Do either of you plan on telling Fury this when he tries to order Thor into taking you back?" Jane asked.

Before either could answer, however, the machine started whirring again and the landscape behind Thor wavered.

"I must go." He told Jane, kissing her on the head. "I beseech you not to contact me again. I shall come to you when I can be certain it will not place you in any further danger."

And he stepped back into the portal just as it clicked off, disappearing with the rest of the image of Asgard as rain started thundering down again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title from The Gaslight Anthem's Orphans. Thanks for reading and reviewing.


	29. This Fuse Is Burning

The ride back home seemed to take five times as long as the journey there. Jane was staring fixedly ahead, her hands rigid on the wheel. Darcy hadn't wanted to let her drive but she'd insisted.

Loki was staring sullenly out of the window on his side as Darcy glared angrily out of hers. The rain continued to beat incessantly against the window like it was racing to match the pounding of blood in her ears.

Occasionally her eyes wandered to Loki as though to see if he was looking at her but saw that his gaze was set firmly outside, lost in apparent thought.

When they finally arrived home Jane ran inside. Darcy followed as quickly as she could but she heard the door of her friend's room slam shut, the sound reverberating deafeningly throughout the house. The silence teemed with the humid air seemed somehow thicker, like it was forming a physical barrier far more effective than the door which prevented her from comforting her friend.

Annoyed, she threw herself onto the sofa, trusting to Loki to close the door.

She pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged them. She wanted to scream and cry at the same time but resolved to do neither, instead sat hollowly staring at nothing in particular.

She felt like she was being ridiculous. So what Loki had shown that he still despised her? Hadn't she known that all along? He may have enjoyed her company, apparently even been attracted to her but what use was that when at the very core he despised her for what she was? A human? It wasn't like she could change that and, she thought with defiance, she didn't want to. Just because he thought living like a human was a...what was it he'd said? A 'pitiful life'?

" _I will not have you begging for me."_  His words rang her head, exactly the way he had said them. The soft curl of disgust on his lips, the loathing oozing from the sharpness of his every word. The way he'd emphasised " _you_ " like she was something filthy, something less than he.

And she couldn't even find it in her to be properly angry with him because she felt like she had known this all along, had been kidding herself to believe anything different.

 _Did you not gather his utter contempt for humanity when he was yelling for them to kneel at his feet?_  She asked herself.

_I thought it was an act. Something for the attention of his brother, of the family that had hurt him. I thought living with us might have changed that. After all how could someone with such deep self hatred as she sometimes glimpsed in him still believe he was better than everyone else? I thought he liked our friendship, I knew he despised the necessity of it but I thought he liked it, being able to actually talk to someone, someone who didn't hold his past against him.  
_

_Well, you foolish idiot_ , she told herself scornfully,  _you thought wrong._

 _Fine,_  she resolved,  _we're over. I'm not having sex with him if he's just putting up with my species to satisfy himself._

And as soon as she had said the words his others, from longer ago, came back to her.  _"I realised I would have resented anyone, be they human, Asgardian or any other species. Then it didn't particularly seem to matter."_

So of course he didn't actually want to have feelings or attraction for anyone, understandable enough she supposed given that his preferred method of dealing with things was to build a wall and not let people get too close. She'd managed to get through that somehow but that didn't stop his inherent princely prejudices.

 _Jane was right,_  she thought,  _I can do better.  
_

 _You don't want better._  That truthful voice in her mind said.

 _Shut up, Brain_. She retorted.

He walked in, she recognised his light footsteps though she didn't look up. He sat in his chair in the corner but he didn't speak.

She felt an itch of irritation. Why wouldn't he just leave her alone?

Or more importantly why had she gone to the living room rather than her bedroom if she wanted to be alone?

"Darcy?" He asked, she could discern a faint note of worry in his voice, though only, she thought, because she knew him so well.

"Mmm?" She replied, not trusting herself to look at him without shouting.

"Are you all right?"

"Fantastic." She snapped, the words coming out more abruptly than she'd realised.

"Right..." He said, his tone sarcastic. "You sound it."

"Oh shut up, Loki." She told him, cringing internally as she realised she was echoing Thor and Jane.

She felt rather than saw him shake his head in exasperation. "Fine." He said and fell back into silence. She paused in her mental contemplation of his words. Loki would never normally pass up an opportunity for sarcastic insults. Her eyes flicked to him briefly. He was staring at a spot on the wall, his sharp jaw was tilted up slightly so that his hair fell back like raven feathers. She was sure his thoughts were elsewhere.

After ten minutes he attempted to speak again. "May I ask what I have done?"

This time she did turn to look at him. "You actually have to ask?" She said, the words coming out before she could stop them. She didn't want to voice her concerns. She feared they would sound even pettier spoken than they did thought.

He thought for a moment. "Ah." He said as though suddenly realising. To her surprise he did not smile or mock her. "What I said about returning to Asgard."

"You don't want  _me_  begging for you?" She snapped, unable to stop herself.

"Darcy, please let-"

"What?" She asked shrilly, figuring that she'd already said too much to ignore it so she may as well confront him. "I'm good enough to sleep with and confide in but you're too embarrassed by me to let me speak to the Asgardians?"

"It's not that." He said quietly. It was his tone that made her pause. He was supposed to be shouting back his defences, not muttering them under his breath like he was ashamed of them.

"Then what is it?" She asked, her blue eyes like chips of ice as she watched him warily.

He ran his hand through his hair as he thought. It was an action so human her heart skipped a beat. His eyes met hers almost pleadingly.

"You must know that they will come...eventually." He said.

"Yes." She said. She'd been trying to ignore that fact but she couldn't deny it.

"You will already be targeted due to the binding charm." He said each word bitterly, spitting it out like it caused him pain. "They will no doubt attempt to use you."

"Okay..." She said, wondering what this had to do with the original question she had asked. Maybe he was trying to scare her with tales about Asgardians to get the questions of his contempt for humanity out of her mind?

He stood up and walked over to her. She was still huddled on the sofa so that she was looking up at him. As though he sensed how much she disliked that he sat down next to her, the tips of her toes nudging his leg slightly. She was suddenly remembered of the time they'd been ill on the same sofa, the way he'd flinched with disgust when she'd touched him now compared to the ease he sat with her now and the careful way he was looking at her.

She bit her lip to stop from conveying in her expression anything about what his proximity was doing to her.

He stared at her for a few seconds though she had no urge to prompt him, it was very obvious he was selecting his next words with care.

"Darcy they cannot find out about our relationship."

"Relationship?" She squeaked, unable to prevent herself. Perhaps relationship meant something different on Asgard than it did in America because she was certain it did not quite cover what she and Loki had.

"You are the first person to whom I have shared, have opened up to since long before I discovered my true parentage." His green eyes were intense on hers and she found herself unable to look away. "The first person I have truly cared for outside of my former family. If they found out your significance to me they would exploit that friendship. I have no doubt in my mind. They will have learnt that physical pain I am well accustomed to. You are a mortal, Darcy." And he did not say it with contempt but with undeniable truth and vulnerability, as though that one term was dangerous. "They will have no qualms with using you to..."

He stopped and looked away, apparently unable to continue. He didn't have to, though. She knew what he was saying, even if he couldn't finish it. The fact he'd told her anything was extremely unexpected, just this tiny glimpse into what lay behind the emotional walls he had built was more than she ever thought she would get.

She felt her anger melt away. She took his hand in hers, running her thumb reassuringly up and down the smooth skin of his fingers.

He glanced back to her at her touch. "I could not allow them to think that I held anything more for you than the disdain they would expect."

She leant across the sofa and wrapped her arms under his, resting her head in the crook between his shoulders and neck. She closed her eyes as he hugged her back, wanting to savour the moment of Loki admitting their friendship. In that moment she didn't care that it wasn't anything more, perhaps she ought to learn from Thor. With Loki, anything beyond malice was remarkable.

"I'm still angry with you." She said after a moment.

She felt his chest rise with laughter. "I would expect nothing less."

"Okay your turn." She said, pulling away to sit facing him on the sofa, her legs lying across it so that her feet tucked comfortably next to him.

"What?" He asked, looking at her with confusion.

"That talk with Thor obviously upset you too. It's Thorapy time with Darcy." She joked.

She could almost feel the wall he threw up but could only watch as his jaw tightened and he looked away in anger. "Why in the Nine Realms would such a talk with that oaf upset me?" He hissed.

She bit back the sarcastic answers and jokes that rolled so easily to the tip of her tongue. "You don't have to get annoyed with yourself for feeling something." She told him. "You can't just keep denying that you have emotions until they lead you into acts of genocide."

"I don't see that I have anything to talk about." He said, frowning in confusion. "My brother is an idiot and a fool. Nothing more."

"Okay, fine, act like you don't care about him. I saw the look on your face when he ignored you. Don't pretend like you don't crave his attention, even if he's angry with you." She told him, he continued to act as though what she was saying was false but she saw through the slight narrowing of his eyes that he recognised truth in her words. "If you don't want to talk about it then fine. I'm here for you though, if you ever want to."

"I'll bear that in mind." He said, aiming for his usual condescending tone but missing, his heart not quite in it. She could tell he would never willingly talk to her about it, she'd just have to ask again some other time. Maybe once the encounter with Thor wasn't so fresh in his mind.

"I'm going to check on Jane." Darcy said and he nodded again.

The walk to Jane's room was full of continuous guilty twinges that she hadn't checked on her earlier but she knew that Jane wouldn't have wanted her to.

She could hear her sobbing on the other side of the door as she nervously knocked. There was no reply but she hadn't told her to go away so Darcy let herself in.

She realised with a start that she'd never been in Jane's room before. It was light blue and cream, the bed pattern and curtains featured a gentle swirling pattern of the two colours. Science articles and papers littered the floor, the desk and every other available space. Jane's three degrees were framed over the chest of drawers but other than that she had nothing on the walls. On the bedside table was a framed photo of an eight year old Jane with her mom and dad which must have been taken shortly before they'd been killed in the car crash.

Jane was sat huddled on top of the bed, her head in her hands.

Darcy didn't even think before she sat on the bed and pulled her into her arms, hugging her as she cried.

"It's okay." She told her. Jane was shaking but she hugged her anyway. She'd learnt the hard way that there were few things worse than crying alone. Even if crying with company wasn't much better.

"I'm sorry." Jane muttered, wiping her eyes though they remained watery.

"Don't," Darcy replied. "You have nothing to apologise for."

"You must think I'm pathetic." She said, clearly not listening to her.

"Jane," Darcy said firmly. "You are not pathetic. You're in love, I mean, that might be pathetic..." Jane gave a watery laugh. "I get it, it can't be easy being in love with a God from another realm."

Jane bit her lip. "It's just...seeing him today. I didn't even get ten minutes with him, Darce. And what did I do? Got angry with him for leaving and shouted for him to take his brother back."

Darcy laughed. "Both perfectly reasonable things to do."

Jane smiled slightly though Darcy could tell she wasn't really amused. "What if he doesn't come back?"

"He will. Then again he was gone for two years last time..." Darcy only realised what she'd said when she saw the worried look on Jane's face. "Shit. Sorry. I'm really not good at this cheering up stuff am I?"

Jane laughed shakily.

"We can contact him again, can't we?" Darcy asked.

Jane shook her head as though at a loss for words. "You heard him, he said not to."

"And you're going to let that stop you?" Darcy asked, smiling slightly. "He's not exactly always right."

Jane shrugged. "I guess not, I mean the portal or bridge or whatever is far from finished."

"So we can do it again?" Darcy asked.

"That's another thing. The conditions that day; the storm, the humidity, the temperature, all the other factors that affect it. And most importantly the specific waves and currents...you know what? Let's just stick to 'all the things that affect it'," Jane said endearingly at the lost look on Darcy's face. "They all have to be so specific. It could take years."

"Well then what are you doing up here crying?" Darcy asked with a grin. "You have work to do!"

Jane nodded. "I guess you're right." She rolled off her bed and walked over to the computer on her desk. "I may as well get started."

"I've got it!" Jane yelled happily the next day at work.

Darcy turned to her in shock. "So much for years..."

"All the conditions! Even better than all the conditions! Selvig's there at the moment. He told me the laws of physics are literally shifting! We have to go!"

"Well where?" Darcy demanded.

"London!" Jane replied happily.

Darcy's mouth fell open. "I don't suppose you mean London, Connecticut do you?" She asked, she hadn't quite expected somewhere so far away.

"Nope. London, England." Jane said. "Why? Is that a problem?"

Once over the shock of it being so far away, Darcy was able to truly appreciate what that meant. "Problem? Are you kidding me? We get to go to Europe? And it's all paid by SHIELD?!"

"Yep." Jane said happily.

"Oh my God when do we leave?" Darcy asked.

"Next week, hopefully." Jane said.

"Oh my God I have to tell Matt." Darcy replied and ran out of the lab to where Matt was standing guard.

"Why were you so happy?" He asked, having watched them through the window.

"We're going to London!" She said, the words rapidly escaping her lips.

He frowned. "When?"

"Next week probably." Darcy said, grinning.

"Well that's great." He said, though he didn't sound it.

Darcy's grin fell away. "What's wrong?" She asked.

"Nothing." He said. "I'm just not that jealous. London sounds pretty dull to be honest. I mean yeah sure it's supposed to have history and stuff and I'm sure the architecture is great but I never particularly cared about any of that stuff. I just don't see the appeal."

"Yeah but dude it's England, hot guys with British accents."

Matt looked at her pointedly and she suddenly realised that despite being from Asgard, Loki was technically a hot guy with a British accent.

"Say nothing." She said grimacing. He laughed.

"All right, Darcy." He said. "You do realise it rains a lot in England, right?"

"It rains a lot in Connecticut too." She told him.

"If you think that's anything compared to England then you're in for a surprise." He said with a grin. "And it's February, that means frost as well, you'll break your neck with your co-ordination."

"Won't they grit the roads?" She asked.

He grinned. "I believe England is notorious for their poor handling of their weather."

Darcy waved away his complaints. "I'm going to England and I'm excited. A few details like that won't change anything."

"Wait," Matt stopped her. "When did you say you were going?"

"Next week." She repeated.

He narrowed his eyes at her. "Before or after the seventh?"

She felt her eyebrows lift with shock. "You actually remembered? Who are you and what have you done with Matt?"

He laughed. "Priya wrote down everyone's birthdays. She's been reminding me for the past two weeks that I have to get you a present."

"And have you?" She asked curiously.

"Obviously not but if Priya asks of course I've ordered it." He said, his usual impish grin on his face. "So are you going to England before or after your birthday?"

"After, I guess." Darcy replied, picking at the edge of her jumper. "It doesn't really make much difference. As much as I'd love to go to Disneyland or clubbing in LA I'm afraid my birthday plans currently consist of films and a double date with Ben and Jerry."

Matt laughed. "Well I'd take you out but I think you're still technically under house arrest."

"I don't mind." Darcy said. "My birthday's just another day."

"I know you don't believe that." He said. "You made far too big a deal of it last year."

"Okay fine," She admitted. "I normally love my birthday but I'm trying to convince myself that it's no big deal if I'm doing nothing on the day that I turn twenty four so shush you are not helping."

"All right." He agreed. "But you have to tell me when the date is confirmed. There's no way you're running off to another continent without saying goodbye."

"Okay. I'd better get back." Darcy said.

She returned to Jane on the phone with someone, presumably Fury, trying to arrange flights and accommodation in London.

"What is this London?" Loki asked.

"A place in Europe, near Stuttgart." She said.

"I do not understand why you are so excited."

"Because it's Europe!" Darcy told him. "The only time I've ever been outside of America was when we went to Norway to hide from you. Kind of ironic really, hiding from a Norse God in the land the myths came from." She'd always wondered why he'd never come for them, after all he'd gone to Germany so geography clearly wasn't an issue. After finding out about how the Chitauri treated him though it was no surprise, he was forced to do it, given the choice of that or more torture. It wasn't the act of revenge against Thor SHIELD had thought it to be, though obviously he hadn't been exempt from having a bit of that as well what with Erik.

"And they speak like you there." She added.

"Excuse me?" He asked, looking affronted. He clearly thought this was some way of her insulting him.

"The same accent." A sudden thought occurred to her that she'd never wondered before. "Why do you have an English accent? And why do you even speak English?"

"I speak the common tongue." He explained. "It translates itself to the listener's own language. If you hear a specific accent it is the one most desirable to your ears."

"So say I had a thing for Irish accents..."

"Then no doubt you would hear that." He said. She had a sudden and comical image in her head of Loki giving his Stuttgart speech in a strong West Country accent.

"I think everyone hears English though." She argued.

He shrugged. "Then perhaps it translates to whichever accent most people would prefer. I do not pretend to know the exact details of it."

"I see." Darcy said. "Well I like your voice."

He smiled. "Good. Though I suppose that means I must fear your attraction to another with it in this London?"

Her eyes caught on his cheekbones, his strong jaw, his green eyes alight with mischief and framed by eyelashes she would have killed for. "You have absolutely nothing to worry about."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from This Century's Young And Useless. Thank you for reading and reviewing.


	30. Every Reason To

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: suicide

"Tickets...keys...transfers...Am I missing anything?" Jane asked, going through the contents of her handbag.

"Umm not that I'm aware of." Darcy answered. "And we've still got a couple of days."

They were going on Thursday evening. Given that it was Tuesday, the majority of their stuff was packed and ready to be sent to London. None of them knew quite how long they would be in England for, so they figured it was best to take everything with them.

"Fury sent through the finalised copy of the details today." Jane said. "The equipment is being sent ahead as we speak. He's managed to get us a SHIELD house in East London though we're going to have to be a lot more discreet than we are here because everything is going to be so much closer together in a city."

"And what about work?" Darcy asked.

"We'll get escorted to the London SHIELD centre next week, they're giving us a few days to settle in."

"And Selvig?" Darcy asked.

Jane blushed. "Umm...they've kind of lost him."

"What?" Darcy asked. "How do SHIELD lose someone? And someone like Selvig?"

"Well apparently he thought he was being watched by the government who he believes are all under Loki's control so he fled. Actually doing a pretty good job of avoiding them as well, though I suppose having his current level of paranoia is going to help things."

"He does realise Loki's not dangerous anymore, right?"

"I wouldn't say not dangerous..."

"Jane." Darcy said, a hint of warning to her voice.

"Oh fine. Not quite as dangerous. Anyway I did tell him at Christmas but I don't think it helped. If anything it made it worse because he probably thinks I'm under Loki's control too and trying to get him back or something."

Darcy sighed. "So we'll spend the first few days in London trying to locate Selvig?"

"I assume so." Jane said. "Have you told your family?"

"No." Darcy said bluntly.

"Darcy..." Jane said, echoing her own earlier warning voice.

"Do I have to?" She whined.

"Yes." Jane said firmly. Darcy glared at her, she liked it much better when Jane was being sisterly rather than motherly. "Now." The physicist added.

"My phone never gets any signal here." Darcy told her weakly.

"Oh what a shame." Jane said sarcastically. Darcy looked at her in shock. Jane was never sarcastic. "You can use mine." She said, handing Darcy her phone.

"But I-"

"Now Darcy." Jane told her, her tone making it clear she would argue no longer.

Darcy scowled. "Fine." She snapped.

Darcy walked into the living room and punched her parents' home number into the phone, praying that her dad would be the one who answered.

"Hello? Susan Lewis speaking."

"Hi mom." Darcy said, trying not to sound utterly miserable.

"Darcy?" Her mom sounded shocked. Her voice instantly morphed from welcoming to stern. "What have you done?"

"Nothing!" Darcy protested, annoyed. She was forcibly reminded of how Thor had spoken of Loki and she was certain that she did not deserve similar treatment. After all she hadn't tried to kill her brother or commit genocide or destroyed New York...

"Oh well why are you phoning?"

"Nice to know you missed me." Darcy said, unable to stop herself.

"Oh stop, I phone you once a month. It's you who never calls. You can't blame me for wondering what's happened." Her mom said. Darcy supposed she had a point though her conversations were never enjoyable. Her parents just reminded her of that time in her life when she'd thought nothing would be right and instead of helping her, they'd blamed her. How was she ever supposed to get past that?

"Right well I'm only phoning to tell you that I'm going to England."

"Oh on holiday?"

"No I'm moving there. With Jane." And Loki.

"What?" Her mom sounded disbelieving.

"We leave on Thursday."

"WHAT?! Darcy Lewis you cannot just move to another country!"

"Umm I'm twenty four. As of tomorrow, at least." Her mom mumbled something like 'happy birthday' but she ignored it. "I can do what I like. And I don't know how permanent it will be, it depends on how long the research takes."

"I...well I suppose that's good. Oh wait until I tell everyone you're moving to England, they'll be ever so jealous."

"Ahh that is my one aim in life."

"Wait, what about Loki?" Her mom asked. "He's from England, isn't he? Or he went to university there?"

"Yeah uh well he's a SHIELD scientist too so he'll be going too."

"Oh well that's nice." Her mom said, clearly teetering on the edge of being glad Darcy was in a relationship that serious and being annoyed at how 'serious' they were becoming. "And I suppose you can still visit on holidays, it won't really be any different to you living in New Mexico. It's just...the idea of another country."

"Yeah." Darcy said, having grown bored with the conversation. "Well bye."

"Darcy! We've been talking for a minute in which you've told me you're moving to a different country!" Her mom's shrill voice sounded.

"So what?" Darcy snapped. "What does it bother you for?"

"You're my daughter!"

Darcy laughed dryly. She was sick of being made to feel guilty about not phoning a family that didn't care for her. "I haven't been your daughter since I was sixteen."

"Darcy!"

"What, mother?" She asked. "You disagree?"

"Of course I disagree! Darcy we love you."

"No, mom. You love who you think I am."

"Well what's the difference?"

"The difference is between what's actually going on and what you know about!"

"Well," And her mom was shouting now though Darcy had gone eerily calm, she felt like this had needed to be said for a good few years. "How do you expect me to know if you don't tell me?"

"I tried telling you." Darcy replied bluntly. "I tried telling you when I was sixteen."

"Is this about Isabelle again?" Her mom sounded annoyed. "You aren't over that?"

"No I'm not over it!" Darcy shouted, finally angered. "She was my best friend and she killed herself and all you could tell me was how she was selfish for doing it and how I was better off without her and how I was being ridiculous crying over losing someone who obviously didn't care about me enough to stick around!"

"Darcy, that's not what I said." Her mom said, her tone patronising.

"That's exactly what you said!"

"Well I didn't use those words." Her mom replied. "And either way, dear, it's true. She was only thinking of herself."

"WHO CARES?!" Darcy screamed, her eyes stinging with tears but she felt liberated and furious all at once. Words she'd always wanted to scream at her family but hadn't came falling freely from her mouth. "I don't think it was selfish but who gives a fuck if it was?" Her mom gasped at her language but she heedlessly continued. "Is that supposed to make me stop missing her? Is that supposed to make me believe she deserved it?"

"Is this really about a friend you had when you were sixteen?"

Darcy froze, staring uncomprehendingly at the phone. How could anyone be so...insensitive? She felt a thousand retorts spring to her tongue about how belittling their friendship was hardly going to help but instead her mom's outrageous comment made her calm. What was the point in shouting when she was too set in her own opinions to even consider what she was saying?

For fuck's sake, a homicidal God of lies had been more sympathetic to her than her own family. What the hell did that say about them?

"No mom." Darcy sighed, and it was true. There was a reason Darcy was so absorbed in the present, the here and now. The past still felt like a razor blade.

"It's not about Izzy. It's about how you didn't care. It's about how dad told me to get over it and you still felt the need to yell at me about my grades when I was having panic attacks at the table and falling asleep crying. It's about how even now you don't give two fucks about me, just about how I make you look."

She felt the guilt that she'd felt for years whenever she'd thought her parents were bad at parenting flare inside and she pushed it away angrily. She'd spent years telling herself she was ridiculous. Her parents had never hit her or anything. Now she was realising that they didn't have to physically hurt her to being abusive.

Their insults echoed in her mind. When she'd gone to college, she'd seen a therapist over Izzy. She hadn't been very helpful but she had said one thing. 'What right do I have to be sad over this when she was struggling for years?' Darcy had asked and she'd replied: 'Your feelings are valid by the simple fact that you feel them.'

Her mother went silent. After a moment she spoke, her voice sounding strangled. "You're ungrateful. Spoilt. Selfish." She hissed. Words Darcy had heard before. "If you think we're such bad parents then don't bother talking to us anymore."

She probably wanted Darcy to apologise or something but what sort of parent made ultimatums like that? "Fine." She answered instead.

She waited for her mom to say something but instead Darcy heard the blank tones that meant she'd hung up.

Darcy pulled the phone away from her ear, unable to take in what had just happened.

And then, slowly, she smiled. She'd finally said stuff she'd kept bottled up for almost a decade. And it felt...exhilarating.

She practically skipped back into the kitchen.

"I heard shouting." Jane said, looking up at her with her eyes narrowed suspiciously. "What did you do?"

"That, my dear Jane," Darcy said happily. "Was me breaking off all ties to my family."

"W-w-what?!" Jane stuttered. "Darcy that's not what I meant when I told you to tell them you were moving to England!"

"Yeah I'm aware Jane, I didn't accidentally interpret what you'd said the wrong way. It just happened." Darcy explained.

"Really?" Jane sounded annoyed. "Tell me how does becoming estranged from your family 'just happen'?"

"Jane," Darcy said slightly guiltily. "I know how you feel but my parents aren't like yours were." Jane's face hardened but Darcy figured she may as well continue. "I know you miss them and everything but just because my family are still alive doesn't mean I have to put up with them. I don't owe them anything just by being related to them and...they're poisonous Jane." And at these last words she thought of every single time she'd been told she wasn't good enough. That her degree or her job or she herself was worthless...

She tried not to smile. She was free from them. And she was good enough. Good enough for what she wasn't quite sure but that didn't matter because if she was managing to be happy with all the current 'being hunted by Loki's hunters' crap then she had to be in a good place.

"But family Darcy..."

"You're my family." Darcy said firmly. "You and Selvig and Loki and Matt." Jane's eyebrows rose at Loki's name but Darcy didn't care.

Jane sighed. Darcy prepared herself for Jane's lecture over how she should phone her family back and make up. To her surprise, Jane got up and hugged her.

Darcy hugged her back uncertainly. When she let go she saw that there were tears in Jane's eyes and she felt vaguely embarrassed.

"All right." Jane said. "It's your family and you're choice. I'll be here for you either way."

"Uh thanks Jane but no you won't. You'll be sciencing." Darcy said with a grin.

"Darcy!" Jane tried to sound annoyed but it was obvious she was trying not to laugh. "I am trying to be nice!"

Darcy laughed. "And I appreciate it. I'll let you get back to science panicking for England."

"Okay but remind me not to ask you to make any more phonecalls." Jane said.

"Will do." Darcy said, leaving the kitchen. Loki wasn't in the living room so she walked upstairs to his room.

"Helloooo." She sang, knocking and opening the door.

He was lying on his bed reading. His head lifted as she entered, when he saw it was her he returned to his book though he was smiling slightly. "You do realise that opening the door and knocking utterly defeats the purpose of knocking?"

"You sound like a whiny teenager complaining to his mom." She told him, sitting on the bed next to him. She kissed his cheek and snuggled against his chest.

His arm moved almost absent-mindedly around her shoulders.

She could hear his heart beating under her ear. The sound was oddly relaxing, that of another living being there with her. She was suddenly very aware of how right she'd been, she'd chosen the people who mattered.

"What're you reading?" She asked him.

" _Trying_  to read might be a more apt question." He replied but showed her the cover of the book she'd given him for Christmas anyway and now that she looked she saw that the words printed on the page were indeed not in a language she recognised.

"Trying?" She queried.

He smirked down at her. "I seem to be distracted by certain people who are unable to keep their voices down. May I ask why you were shouting?"

"Oh you're hardly one to talk about keeping your voice down, I wasn't screaming 'kneel!' to the population of Stuttgart." He laughed, his chest moving beneath her.

"That was  _one_ time." He joked. "And the explanation for the shouting is?"

"Is that I officially no longer have to talk to my family." She told him.

He closed the book and placed it on the bed, turning his head slightly to look at her.

"What?" She asked, slightly unnerved at suddenly having his full attention.

"What happened?" He asked.

"Oh just...you know. They didn't want to face the truth so I left." She said, not wanting to go into much detail. Her tone made it clear this was not a loss.

To her surprise, Loki smiled. "That sounds rather familiar though I assume your way of leaving was not falling off of the bifrost into the void of the universe?"

Realising what he was suggesting, she laughed. "No." She answered. "And I didn't attempt to kill my brother on the way out, either."

"No Chitauri involved?" He asked casually.

"Nope. And the world is currently safe from any plans for me to rule it."

"That," Loki said. "Is a terrifying thought."

"What?" She asked. "I'd make an amazing ruler. Tasers and alcohol for all."

"My point may have just been proven."

"Excuse you I did political science.  _Politics,_  Loki."

"And you believe all politicians are fit to rule the world?"

"Oh God no." She laughed. But suddenly she was thinking about what would have happened under Loki's rule, if he had won the battle of New York. He wasn't exactly fighting because something annoyed him about Earth, he was just doing it to get revenge on Thor. Would anything have actually changed? I mean she could see him making them have Loki day parades once a week or something but other than that?

She didn't really think so. Not that it meant he should have won or anything, it was just interesting to wonder.

"Loki?" She asked.

"Yes?" He replied.

"Why didn't you come after Jane and I? Last year? I mean we were sent to Norway but clearly by your stunt in Germany geography was hardly a limiting factor." After all, it was all to get back at Thor. I mean he was obviously stealing the tesseract for the Chitauri but ruling Earth? That was definitely his God complex shining through.

He stilled but betrayed no other emotion. "My priority was to secure the Earth. Then...I admit I had plans. Plans I do not wish to think about."

Her insides squirmed uncomfortably. Okay so maybe not everything would have remained the same.

He looked at her like he was waiting for a reaction. "Good thing you lost then." She grinned, her smile morphing into a yawn. "I'm sleepy." She stated, as though to explain the yawn. "What's the time?" But she glanced down at her own watch to save Loki struggling to use a clock. Bless him, some human inventions still eluded him.

It was ten o'clock. Too early for her to go to bed normally but she was really tired.

"I'm going to go to sleep." She told him, extracting herself from his arms. "Night."

Despite her tiredness, it took her a while to fall asleep. Her large bed felt oddly lonely, despite her not having literally slept with Loki since Christmas. Just sex and he was gone. She hated to admit how much she missed it. Maybe she could convince him to join her again in England...and on that happy thought she fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Coffee Break by Forever The Sickest Kids. Thanks for reading and reviewing. Only a short chapter but it means I should hopefully be able to update again on Sunday.


	31. These Unforgiving Stars

Darcy woke with a start as a hand clamped over her mouth. It did not cross her mind to even attempt to scream, her panic rendering her quite silent. She couldn't think, her mind still groggy from being asleep.

She searched for the owner of the hand in the darkness, lying still in terror, her eyes wide.

"Darcy," Loki's voice came from above her.

"Loki?" She tried to ask but his hand muffled the sound. She was going to kill him. She was going to brutally murder that asshole.

"Shh," He whispered, removing his hand. "I've disabled the cameras but I believe they have listening devices hidden."

"So?" She hissed.

"I had to wake you up." He said simply.

"And why did you have to do that?" She found herself whispering anyway. "And next time just say my name or something don't put your hand over my mouth like that, Jesus Christ."

"It was to prevent you speaking...like you are now." He pointed out.

She opened her mouth to retort but her eyes had adapted to the dark so that she could see him a bit better. "Are you in Earth clothes?" She asked in shock, forgetting her annoyance with him. It looked like he was wearing a green top that clung to him in a way that made her stomach do flips, the kind that had a few buttons at the top but not all the way down. And, perhaps most weird of all, he was wearing jeans.

Darcy recognised the outfit as one she'd ordered for him for him to wear over Christmas but that didn't explain why he was wearing it now.

"Yes." He answered and her curiosity was so strong that his method of waking her up fled her mind. "You have ten minutes. Get dressed."  _Ahh so close to the perfect sentence,_ she thought sadly.

She frowned at him. "Why?"

"I can't explain." He said. Still confused, she opened her mouth to ask another question but he cut her off before she could. "I will tell you soon."

He was at the door before he stopped and turned back round, grinning mischievously. "Oh and Happy Birthday."

And then he left. Gobsmacked and still unsure as to what exactly was going on, she pulled on her clothes absent-mindedly. She realised as she pulled on tights to match her denim skirt that this might not be the most practical outfit so she swapped it for a pair of jeans. She didn't have time for contacts so pulled on her glasses. As she sat in front of her mirror to quickly put some make up on she realised she was wearing the same purple jumper she'd worn on the day she'd stumbled across Loki.

Her curls had managed to survive the night but it was a bit frizzy on top. With no time to fix it, she grabbed a purple beanie from her drawer and grabbed her phone and some money before she went downstairs to look for Loki. The windows showed darkness and there was the kind of empty silence in the air that only accompanied an early hour. Just what time was it? If Loki had woke her up at six she was going to murder him more painfully than she was already contemplating for his hand over her mouth antics, her annoyance had returned to her as she'd got dressed.

"You're ready." He said, looking up as she walked into the kitchen.

"Ready for what?" She demanded.

He didn't answer, instead walked over to her and took her hand. She continued to glare at him, wanting an explanation for the early hour.

Suddenly, her vision went black like her eyes had been forced shut. She felt her feet leave the floor and felt a rushing sensation like she was in a strong wind that she couldn't feel. Before she was even truly aware of the feeling, her feet found the ground again.

Blinding sunlight burnt her eye lids and she opened them warily.

"What the hell?" She asked, finding Loki. It was warm, not hot but compared to New Mexico it was boiling.

He was looking at her uncertainly. "I was under the impression you wanted-"

"OH MY GOD!" She interrupted him excitedly, having looked round and seen where they were. She and Loki were stood behind a building so that they were out of the way but she could see people, loads of people and from the way they were dressed the majority were tourists. It hadn't taken her long to realise why, even from here she could see the palace towers. "We're in Disneyland?!"

Her arms wrapped round him before he could pull away, apparently frequent sex hadn't enabled him to handle her touching him much outside of the bedroom.

His arms were pinned to his sides. "Thank you thank you thank you! Ohmygod you're the best!" She squealed.

"Yes..." He said, extricating himself from her arms. "But do you think you could let go?"

Her arms fell to her sides but she was still grinning wider than she had in months. "How did you know?" She asked, he was unlikely to have googled tourist attractions. Come to think of it, she hadn't even told him it was her birthday.

"I overheard you telling that guard." He said.

She raised her eyebrows. "Okay you know his name, you can use it." She said but the reprimand was lost somewhat because she couldn't stop grinning. "But oh God, what about SHIELD?"

"I am preventing them tracking us." He told her.

She grinned. "Your magic is getting better then." Even this couldn't worry her, after all they were at the place where magic was practically created. "Come on, we'd better get in before the queue gets too big."

She and Loki walked with the crowd through the gates, Darcy gazing excitedly at everything. Loki had at least surpassed the toll gates when he'd transported them. Now that she knew she was in Florida the early awakening was explained, it had to be at least two hours ahead of New Mexico. And she'd dressed appropriately, at home her jumper wouldn't have been enough without a coat but here it seemed perfect.

"Seriously though, won't they worry when they can't find us?" She asked, thinking mainly of Jane.

"I left a note explaining that we would be back in the morning." He said.

"In the morning?" Darcy asked, smiling slightly. "That was...presumptuous of you."

He smirked, amused like he normally was when she used a big word. "Was I perhaps too early in my assumptions?"

"Dude," She grinned. "You took me to Disneyland. I'll wear nothing but the horned helmet if you want."

He laughed and looked at her teasingly. "That could be interesting..."

"I'm just joking, before you start with a list of weird fetishes." She said.

They were through the gates now, staring up at Disney's giant castle. "I want a castle." She decided.

Loki laughed. "You ought to see the palaces of Asgard."

"Yes but that would probably not be under the best of circumstances." She replied. He was watching her carefully, the way parents around them were looking at their children, waiting to see some sign of awe and happiness on her face.

"I kind of forgot you were technically a prince." She said as they continued to walk. "They should so make a Disney film about you. You know, to give little kids a realistic image of what they should expect from princes."

"Are you suggesting that I am not quite what you had in mind?" He smirked.

She looked at him appraisingly. "Well you've certainly got the good looks." She said. "Just not quite the character I was expecting."

He put his arm across her shoulders so she hugged his waist as they walked. "May I ask what part does not live up to your expectations."

"Well they rarely have the princes destroy cities in films. That's normally the job of the villain. The princes are a bit more like your brother." She told him.

He frowned at the mention of Thor.

"Don't worry," She carried on, trying not to grin at how cute his scowl was. Woah 'cute' was definitely not a word she would have used for Loki. "They aren't nearly as attractive. You're much more my type."

He didn't look like he was listening though, he was instead looking around uncertainly. At last he turned to her and shook his head in exasperation. "Only you would choose to go to a child's resort."

"Loki it's Disney. This is like an everyone resort. You either love Disney or you're lying." She explained. "We should go do Space Mountain before the queue gets really big."

He still looked grumpy but he went with her anyway. Up ahead she could see a white and green building designed to look like some futuristic space station. The kind people from the 60s thought would exist by now. A big sign in front read Space Mountain.

Only a few people were going in. Most were leaving as soon as they arrived, frowning slightly and glancing to the same patch of blank wall.

"Why are they leaving?" Darcy wondered aloud as she and Loki followed a pair of teenagers into the building.

"Well I imagine," Loki said and when she looked over she saw his lips twitching like he was trying not to smile. "They may be seeing a sign that says this place is closed."

She froze, her eyes widening. "Are you serious?" He didn't say anything. "Okay," She said, her lips falling easily into a grin. "You are officially the best. You're like some personal fast track." She wondered why people were still in there but supposed they hadn't read the sign or Loki's limited magic stopped everyone being able to see the illusion.

"As per usual I have absolutely no idea what you are talking about." He said.

"I know, it's what makes you so adorable." She told him. He narrowed his eyes at her. "I know I know," She mocked with a grin before he could start. "You're not adorable, you're evil and fear incarnated and the threat of death or whatever."

He smirked with slight affection. "You are quite ridiculous."

"Yeah you say that a lot." She said happily.

They'd reached the front of the queue and Darcy had to refrain from running into the seat on the rollercoaster. Loki's brow was furrowed but he sat next to her anyway.

"What exactly is this?" He asked sceptically as the shoulder restraints fell into place.

With no time to explain she simply smiled. "You'll see." She said and the ride started. It wasn't the scariest of rollercoasters in the world but she still felt the rush of happy adrenaline only a rollercoaster could bring. They shot through coloured tubes that were supposed to be spacey and into complete blackness before it suddenly plummeted.

Loki didn't scream like everyone else on the rollercoaster but he did inhale sharply at this point, sending Darcy into uncontrollable fits of giggles.

As it pulled back into the entrance she grinned at him. "Did that scare you?"

He looked at her with disdain. "Is this really what mortals do for fun?"

"Oh come on, you enjoyed it!"

"It was utterly pathetic." He said. "Some poor substitute for the thrill your ancestors found in battle."

"Okay now you sound like your brother." She told him.

He glared again.

She nudged him with her hip. "Can you please be happy?" She asked. They were walking through the exit when she saw the photos. They must have been taken in the darkness, she looked like she was smiling though she knew she'd really been laughing. Loki looked faintly alarmed, it must have been just after the drop. Anyone else would have said he looked bored but she saw the faint widening of his eyes, his lips pressed into a slightly thinner line.

"You cute shit." She told him, the most affectionate thing she could think of. He looked angry, like he was annoyed his photo had been taken. "I'm buying it."

She said, running up to the counter. She didn't want to carry around the picture so bought the key ring version and put it in the pocket with the rest of her money.

They spent the rest of the morning riding the other rollercoasters, which with Loki fake shutting them down meant that they'd finished by lunch. He'd even managed to not be as annoyed by everything as he normally was though he did continue to glare at the other park visitors like they were vermin.

"Hot chocolate." Darcy said, handing him a cardboard cup. They were sat on one of the benches at the edge of the park. She wasn't that hungry so they'd just bought the drinks.

He scowled. "I asked for coffee."

"I know but, like, this is  _hot chocolate_." She said as though this were explanation enough. "It's better than sex."

He raised a sceptical eyebrow. "Really?"

"Less doubting the all-knowledgeable Darcy and more drinking liquidised heaven." She commanded, drinking her own.

He did so, looking mildly impressed by the drink.

"What now?" He asked. "I believe we have covered the entire park."

"They're showing the new Disney film." Darcy said. She'd seen posters advertising it. "Frozen. It's not supposed to come out until November but I guess they're letting people in the park watch it early."

He shrugged in response and together they found the cinema showing it. They found seats in the back and she snuggled against Loki as he put his arm round her like they were teenagers at the cinema. It was kind of nice, Darcy thought.

They played some documentary at the start about the making of the movie so that by the time they finally left the cinema it was dark out.

"I'm starving." She said as they left, having not had anything to eat since the day before.

"I suggest we find food then." He said, walking the short distance back to the castle. He turned into it.

"Oh no, that restaurant will be really overbooked." Darcy told him.

"I'm sure it will be fine." He replied.

"And I don't really have enough money for it."

He waved this concern away. "I can easily fix that."

Shrugging she followed him. "Uh table for two?" She asked hopefully to the waitress.

To her surprise the waitress nodded and led Darcy and Loki to a small table in the corner of the room. The inside of the castle was exactly how insides of palaces were supposed to look; embroidered fabrics, crystal chandeliers and plush carpets.

"How did you manage this?" She asked Loki in awe. He said nothing but smiled slightly.

There was only one set course on the menu so they ordered some wine and waited for their food.

"What did you think of Frozen?" She asked Loki.

He frowned. "I did not understand why they repeatedly sang."

"Because it's a musical."

"But normal mortals do not randomly burst into song."

"That's because normal mortals suck." She said.

He laughed. "I see you are finally coming round to my way of thinking."

She grinned too. "Just because they aren't musically inclined doesn't mean you can attempt to subjugate them."

He smirked. "Well perhaps if someone had told me that..."

She couldn't stop herself from laughing. "So is that what happened when you found out you were a Frost Giant? You accepted your magical powers, grew a sparkly dress and sang 'Let It Go'?"

His smile lessened slightly, evidently an unfavourable topic of conversation. "Somehow that was not quite my reaction."

"See how Elsa's sibling still loved her though, despite her magic ice powers?" Darcy asked, knowing she was pushing it too far but somehow needing to say it.

His smile was completely gone now. "Her powers did not change her species. They did not make her into a creature they were both raised to hate."

Darcy felt bad for bringing it up. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have..."

Loki laughed mirthlessly. "No, why shouldn't we discuss it. Tell me, where shall we start? The favouritism of my brother? Or perhaps the tales the Allfather told of the monstrosity of the Jotuns?"

"Loki." Darcy said gently reaching her hand out over his, surprised by his outburst. He didn't exactly ever want to talk about stuff in his past.

He seemed to suddenly realise what he'd said. "Nevermind." He said abruptly.

The waitress returned with their starters forming a welcome distraction. Loki had finished his wine already and she poured him another from the bottle at their side.

Loki seemed to be ignoring their discussion, talking to her like he normally did in his usual mocking sarcasm as though the earlier comments had not been made.

"Thanks for taking me here." She said, feeling like it needed to be voiced. "I mean it was unexpected to say the least."

Loki shrugged. "I am told the anniversaries of mortals' births are important. I suppose they would be with your limited life spans."

She sighed. "You're doing something nice. Can't you just accept that rather than turning it into another 'mortals fail' comment?"

He was running his finger absent-mindedly along the rim of the wine glass. "Believe me, it brings me no small amount of pleasure to be aware of your mortality." He said. "What age are you?"

"Twenty four today." She said.

He shook his head and spoke more to himself than to her. "A child."

Darcy frowned, offended. "And how old are you?"

"In Midgardian years? One thousand and forty eight years, I believe." He answered as if commenting on the state of the weather.

Darcy whistled. "Well you look good for your age. Wait, how long do Asgardians live for?"

He frowned as he considered her question, moving his head thoughtfully. "Around five thousand."

Maths wasn't her forte but Darcy did some quick calculations. "So in proportion you're like seventeen. Oh my god does that mean New York was just your rebellious teenage tantrum phase?"

He scowled. "I don't think that's quite how it works."

Darcy laughed. "Does that mean SHIELD grounded you?"

"I am no adolescent." He protested.

Darcy froze. "Oh God I had sex with a minor!"

"Darcy, please stop." He begged, smiling slightly.

When they'd finished eating, one of the Disney princesses that had been milling around the room walked over to their table.

"Hello, thank you for joining us in the palace today. Care for any pictures?" Darcy grinned realising it was Elsa.

"Yes!" She said, pulling out her phone. She'd had to put it on airplane mode so SHIELD couldn't track it but her camera would still work. "Loki, pose with Elsa."

He gave a look that clearly showed he thought she was insane. "No." He answered, shaking his head in disbelief that she'd even asked.

"Aww come on," She pouted. "Thor took pictures for me."

He unhinged his jaw in annoyance. God that shouldn't have been so Goddamn sexy.

"In case you have not noticed," He said slowly, "There are more than a few differences between my brother and I."

"Come now," Elsa said. "One picture won't hurt."

She leant next to Loki grinning in the photogenic way that all people working at Disneyworld had. Darcy snapped the picture before he could protest.

The waitress came over with the bill.

"What are you doing?" Loki demanded, annoyance in his voice. "You've just done that."

The waitress looked blank rather than confused and nodded before leaving with the unpaid for bill.

"Did you do magic?" She asked.

"I have no idea what you are talking about." He said, barely suppressing a smile.

"I don't like robbing Disney. It feels wrong." She said, though she supposed after the amount the franchise made it wouldn't make that much difference. She still threw the contents of her purse on the table though, as a tip.

"Well it was me, not you if that helps to absolve your guilt." He answered.

They left back into the grounds. Stars were twinkling over head, the castle glowing purple in the background. The park was almost empty. They could have been on another world where magic and palaces were normal.

On a sudden whim she slipped her hand into Loki's.

The contact sent shivers up her arm like they'd never touched before, which was ridiculous of course.

She had to strongly resist the urge to start making out with him in the middle of Disneyworld.

They were at the edge of a hill with a barrier running round the edge to stop kids running down it but it over looked the Mickey Mouse shaped lake which reflected the stars like shining diamonds.

She leant against the barrier, looking out at the park and the silhouetted attractions. Loki's fingers were still entwined in her own.

"Thanks." She said again. "I think this is the best birthday I've ever had."

He was smiling at her. "I'm glad you enjoyed it."

Up ahead fireworks started and Darcy looked up to watch. She'd always wanted to see the Disney world fireworks. Her smile became a full grin as she watched, the colourful sparks flying in all directions.

She glanced at Loki to see if he was watching too. He was, looking slightly impressed. He seemed to sense her gaze and his eyes met hers.

She'dalways thought it was cliché in films when couples kissed under fireworks. Now though she could see the appeal. The air seemed alive with beauty, the light from the fireworks falling over him, the dim colours making his cheekbones sharper, his eyes brighter. He looked frozen in time, the kind of beauty found in art, not actual people. Only in Gods...

He must have been thinking along similar lines because he lowered his lips to hers and she wrapped her arms round his neck, arching her back to kiss him. The fireworks seemed dull compared to the feelings his touch sent jolting through her skin.

She felt her feet slip beneath her, plunging her back into darkness, air squeezing out of her. Before she could react her feet slammed back into the floor and Loki's hands moved to her waist, goosebumps burning wherever his fingers traced. She was in a hotel room of some sort. A classy one. She was a tad too preoccupied to take it all in, only one thing on her mind.

Only later as they lay curled in bed, his arms wrapped round her could she appreciate how large the place was. She was panting heavily, her heart still racing.

"So hot chocolate?" Loki asked.

"Heinously overrated."

The hotel room they were in was so posh that Darcy felt very out of place. The room was the kind of modern design you expected straight out of a furniture catalogue. The shower had three different heads, each pouring steamy water. Unfortunately Loki decided he wanted to shower at the same time as her the next morning. Well really there was only one thing to be done.

Afterwards, Darcy dressed into yesterday's clothes, Loki somehow managing to get hold of his usual leather. She was pulling her hat back on in front of the mirror when he hugged her waist from behind and kissed her neck. She sighed, leaning against him.

"Do we have to go back?" She asked. The last day had been like a page from someone else's life where they were free to do regular things like go out on their birthday with their boyfriend and not be placed under house arrest with a criminal.

She frowned at the injustice of it all and then:

_Holy shit did I just refer to Loki as my boyfriend?  
_

Her eyes widened and she was happy Loki couldn't read minds.

"Unfortunately." He answered, still holding her.

"Shouldn't you be the one begging me not to go back?" She asked his reflection in the mirror.

He smirked. "May I remind you that SHIELD are not the only ones looking for us right now. We may already have pushed our luck by surviving this long."

She groaned slightly. "SHIELD are going to crucify us when we get back."

Loki laughed. "Probably but we are already guarded, what more can they do?"

"Uh throw us in a cell?" Darcy suggested.

He kissed her exposed neck again. "And give us more time for this?" He asked.

She felt a sly grin slip across her face, a most unDarcy-like smile. "Separate cells." She clarified.

Loki smirked mischievously. "SHIELD never were very good at keeping me locked anywhere."

She rolled her eyes and turned to face him instead of his reflection. "Oh you are so not letting that one go, are you?"

He grinned in response. He held his hand out for her. "Are you ready to go?"

She sighed. "I guess." She was dreading the yells she would undoubtedly receive when they returned but she placed her hand in his anyway.

She was, for the fourth time in her life, pushed into weightlessness. It seemed quicker this time.

Her feet had barely touched the ground again when rough hands grabbed her from behind, pulling her away from Loki and back into the darkness.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Old White Lincoln by The Gaslight Anthem. Yeah this was a bit like the chapter where they were ill, I wrote it to get past writers block then decided I could include it in the plot so yes, unbearable cuteness before...well the plot resumes. Inspired by Fae Idrus's art because her tasertricks drawings are possibly the most perfect thing in existence and her disney bits made me squeal for days so yeah you can view that at for anyone who hasn't already. I should probably start changing these end notes to make them A03 specific so thanks for the comments and kudos.


	32. Throw Away That Key

Her feet slammed into the ground with jarring force, shock from the impact bolting up her body. She would have stumbled had the hands holding her arms not been tighter than vices.

She felt a split second of pain like someone was carving out her insides with a toothpick. A scream was wrenched from her lips but the agony was over as soon as it had begun. It was the pain she associated with breaching the confines of her bond with Loki so she assumed that because it was over he must be near.

Someone else grabbed her too, before she could check for Loki and her arms were forced behind her.

She opened her eyes, terror forcing adrenaline to pump inside her. She was momentarily blinded, everything gold about her. Her eyes focused and she saw that she was in a round room of some sort, around twenty soldiers clad in gold armour surrounded her.

Loki stood a few metres from her. He'd been grabbed too only he had four people restraining him compared to her two. If the people who were holding her were doing so roughly, it was nothing compared to Loki's captors who seemed to be trying to cause him as much pain as possible. To her annoyance he wasn't responding, letting them push him about without fighting back.

She looked away, back around the golden room.

It didn't take her long to realise where she was.

Asgard.

_Shit.  
_

Of all the times she'd dreamt of seeing it she never imagined it would have been like this.

One of the men holding her dragged her arms in front of her and slammed them into each other with unnecessary force. She felt ice cold metal bite into her wrists and looked down to see them secure the gold manacles into place.

"What the hell are you doing?" She asked, the words tearing free of her mouth before she could think. Talking was her go to coping technique but she doubted it would be of much use in such circumstances.

They didn't answer. The guys had to be at least as tall as Loki. Surrounded by people pushing six foot she felt even smaller than usual.

The guy putting the manacles on her had clearly tightened them as much as necessary for he let go, one hand still clutching her bicep with pinching fingers.

Without his grip she would have keeled over. As it was, she simply arched forward, the manacles far too heavy for her to even attempt lift. They were thick and golden with runes carved into them and were dragging her to the golden floor.

They didn't look real, she'd never seen any like them and she would have thought they were toys if they weren't so heavy or cold: for some reason they seemed to be refusing to be warmed by her skin.

She glance at Loki to see what was happening to him and saw that they were chaining him too, him still making very little effort to resist. It was like Coulson's team arresting him all over again.

"Um excuse you," She said to the guards. "Only I get to put chains on him."

She saw a vague flicker of amusement in his eyes but clearly the situation was preventing him expressing more than that.

"Is now really the time?" He asked, vague amusement on his lips.

Somehow his response to her joke comforted her. Her heart was racing in terror but at least she wasn't alone in this.

The guards ignored her but one of Loki's guards forced his head backwards and she watched as they forced a metal clamp around his jaw, smothering his mouth to stop him from speaking.

Hot anger raced through her blood, this action annoying her more than anything else. Loki's best power was his voice and they were taking it away from him.

The ones by her were picking up more chains. She saw that her captors were both men, wearing helmets that obscured most of their faces. One with darker skin rammed a chain around her neck forcing her to cough.

When they were done, her ankles were shackled together, her hands cuffed, the collar tight around her and all of it connected to a long chain that five guards were holding. The chain was the only thing keeping her standing, the combined weight of the chains around her weighing her down so much it was effort to breathe, let alone make more joking comments.

She glanced up at Loki through the tops of her eyes because the collar was pulling her head down. He kept glancing over at her, looking furious. She'd never seen such uncontrolled emotion on his face.

He seemed to be decked out in the same chains as her only they'd added a waist one as well. What did they think he was going to do? Twerk his way out?

_I mean, don't get me wrong, I'd chain that ass too.  
_

_Brain, Loki was right, is now really the time?  
_

_It's always the time.  
_

She rolled her eyes, exasperated at her own thoughts. Was this really her way of coping with the fact she was being arrested and sentenced to death by an abundance of chains? Couldn't she cope by fighting her way into an epic escape? At least that would be useful. No, she just got the excess of innuendoes.

"Walk." A strong voice commanded from one of the nameless guards. Darcy saw a guy with gold eyes standing in the middle of the room looking on with an odd mixture of curiosity and pity. She felt anger burn within her. Why look at her with pity if he wasn't even going to help?

Her anger enabled her to take the step forwards.

The guards around her pulled her chains, forcing her to keep walking. Or perhaps dragging was a better word, the chains so heavy that after that first step the most she could do was not resist their pulling her forward.

A rattling behind her led her to believe that Loki was following.

She was dragged out of the golden room and onto a bridge made of swirling colour like a rainbow had been frozen solid. Beneath the bridge water ran black and vicious, from the sound of it disappearing like a waterfall beneath her.

And in the distance was the most dazzling city she'd ever seen: gold buildings that defied architectural laws, metallic roads connecting the labyrinthine complex and in the centre like an organ's pipes; the palace of Asgard.

And here she was being dragged to it in chains like some highly wanted criminal.

By the time they reached the palace she was gasping for every breath, each one costing her strenuous effort. She seemed to be inhaling shards of ice because she'd never had so many stitches nor any so bad.

She didn't know if anyone had said anything, if they had then she hadn't heard it because her chains were so loud and she was focusing so much on moving forwards.

They removed the clamp around Loki's mouth but he remained silent anyway, cold fury burning in his eyes. The gates opened and she entered, her chains rattling the call of death.

She was led into what was obviously the throne room or whatever the technical word for it was. It was huge, the ceiling so high she could barely make it out, connected to the floor with sculptured beams.

At the end sat Odin himself. He probably looked impressive in his throne with his staff in hand but after all Darcy had heard of him he looked like a pathetic decrepit old man in comparison to the grandeur she'd pictured.

A woman stood to his side, hair sat in elegant curls and a blue dress sweeping the floor. The room was wide so they pulled Loki to her left so that she was level with him. She saw with jealousy that he was able to move with his chains, they were obviously an effort but they weren't crippling him like they were her.

"Loki," The woman called, running forwards. She took her son's cuffed hands in her own. Loki looked at her coldly, not responding to her touch with warmth but not pulling away either. "I'm so sorry." She whispered. To the others it would have been an expression of empathy. Darcy knew better, Frigga was apologising for her plan for her son's escape failing.

Loki looked at her without emotion but Darcy saw that he was clutching her hands like they were the only thing stopping him from falling into another abyss.

"Save your tears, mother. They will not change the course of today."

"Enough," Odin's voice commanded and Loki's chain pullers tugged him in front of her as her own pulled her along too. Loki reluctantly let go of his mother's hands and walked in the direction he was being pulled.

They reached the front of the chamber and Darcy could see why they used the chains. Odin's throne was already high enough that they had to look up at him. With the added collar and chains forcing them to be pulled like dogs on leads the effect was humiliating.

Darcy glowered at the injustice. She'd done nothing wrong and she was being treated just like Loki. Not that Loki would have deserved this either but he definitely deserved it more than she did.

"You are on trial for defying your sentence for your wrongs on Midgard." Odin's voice boomed. "Is there anything you wish to say in your defence?"

Loki was looking at him with such hatred Darcy almost flinched, praying she was never on the receiving end of that look. "You expect me to apologise for defying the justice of Asgard?" Loki asked incredulously. "You chained a mortal in runed cuffs and forced her to walk the bifrost for no other crime than a charm she shares with me yet you expect me to respect your judgement?"

Darcy was practically lying on the floor, her knees hovering inches from it, only prevented from falling by the chain on her wrists. Odin's eye fell on her, an expression of disgust on his face. She felt the anger inside her burn more fervently than ever before.

After a moment he spoke. "Remove all but the cuffs around her wrist."

Two guards ran over and took the collar off her throat first. She panted, trying to get air into her lungs, only with the absence of it did she realise just how restrictive her breathing had been. No one said anything as she coughed and spluttered air in her hungry need.

She managed to breathe steadily just as the chains from her ankles were removed. She was still bent forwards awkwardly from the handcuffs but compared to the other chains it felt like she'd been freed from the burden of the world.

"Now, what say you of your escape?"

"Oh I'm ever so sorry," Loki said, his voice oozing so much sarcasm even Darcy was impressed. "I deeply regret not enduring the rest of the torture you deemed appropriate."

"You have been frolicking among the Midgardians you attempted to enslave instead of facing the justice you deserve." Odin replied angrily.

Loki rolled his eyes, his exasperation clear. "Yes because I clearly enjoyed it. Living among such pathetic creatures. Personally, I feel you should be commending me for taking on a worse punishment than the one you sentenced me."

"Your punishment was not yours to choose!" Odin roared. "You act as though my only purpose in it was to cause you pain. I attempted to re-educate you. I see now my attempts were futile."

The image of Loki when she'd found him flitted through Darcy's mind. The scar on his eye had finally faded so that the thin white line was only found if you searched for it but when he'd come to earth he'd been covered in still bleeding cuts. His skin had been a collage of bruises. That wasn't re-educating. That was a sadist asserting their power.

"Dude," She spat, her voice slightly hoarse from the collar. "Most parents use time outs. You use fucking torture. That says more about you than him."

Odin was glaring at her but she refused to look away from his eye.

"Darcy, don't-" Loki started.

"Don't what?" She snapped at him. "Don't point out to your dad all the utter bullshit he's spewing?"

"I did not ask for the opinion of a mortal." Odin said icily. "If you speak out of turn again I will have you gagged, is that understood?"

"Fine," She retorted, furious that he would dare chain her then continue making threats. Utterly humiliated at being dragged to his feet she really didn't think she had much left to lose. "Do it. You've just kind of abducted me and now you expect me to not even defend myself? Or Loki? Gag me and let everyone see that the king of Asgard does not hold a fair trial."

She glared smugly, glad that her Political Science degree was finally coming in useful. She knew how governments worked, even the corrupt ones. She knew he wouldn't want to be seen as unfair at a trial, despite the fact that he obviously was.

"I would not expect a mortal such as yourself to understand." Odin said with disdain.

"Oh you utter bastard." She told him in annoyance. "You are such a fucking hypocrite. Loki looks down on mortals and 'you didn't raise him that way' but when you do it it's just you being 'King Odin'"

"Enough." Odin spat. "I will not be spoken to like this."

"Why?" Darcy asked. "Because you'll punish me?"

She laughed in hysteria. If anything her terror at the whole situation was pushing her to be braver.

"The mortal is right." Loki added with a sneer. Darcy tried not to flinch at him calling her a mortal in that tone of voice. He hadn't done that for so long it took conscious thought to remind her it was just for show, why she didn't quite understand yet but she trusted Loki. "This trial is a farce. Everyone in this room knows that you are set in your decision. Nothing either of us say could change that. So proceed, show everyone how their noble kind will sentence a mortal to Asgardian punishment simply for a magical bond."

"And your own son to further agony!" Darcy added in fury.

Loki glared at her at that but it was nothing to the anger on Odin's face. "He is not my son. I believe he has shown his true feelings for me openly enough."

Loki rolled his eyes. "I was never your son. Not in truth nor in treatment. Do not convince yourself that you ever cared."

"You're seriously going with the whole 'he's not my son' route?" Darcy asked in disbelief. "You're kidding, right? I'm not saying his actions were right, for fuck's sake it was  _my_  race he tried to rule. But you are responsible for part of that whether you admit it or not! You can't just fuck up his life then disown him when it turns round to slap you in the face."

Odin looked furious, Loki annoyed with her words. Apparently neither of them wanted to accept any relation to the other. Her eyes wandered to the woman standing by Odin's throne. She was watching her with a kind of curiosity and, Darcy was sure she was wrong, admiration.

Odin stilled. "I revoke my last sentence. Clearly it was a fruitless punishment."

Darcy would hardly have called all those wounds 'fruitless.'

"You refuse to see the error of your ways." Odin continued. "And now you have dragged a mortal into your mess. You see what your greed has done? Your sense of entitlement-"

"Right," Loki said, his sarcasm mounting. "How could I possibly feel entitled to a throne when I was raised with the belief it was my birthright? Do forgive me."

"I made it clear during your last trial that your only birthright was to die." Odin thundered, his words clipped and short. "You still fail to show respect for those who saved your life! Without me taking you in you would be dead!"

Even Loki looked shocked at his words but the brief hurt she saw was instantly replaced with incredulity.

Darcy knew how he felt, even she couldn't believe Odin had sunk so low. Once again she found herself unable to hold her tongue. "That is such emotional blackmail!" She told him. "'I took you in and therefore you have to put up with all my shit parenting because without me you'd be dead!' You're such an asshole.

Just like you banished Thor for acting the way you raised him. Stop blaming your kids for your awful fathering. I'm not saying it's not their fault but you are the worst-"

"Enough!" Odin shouted. Darcy was breathing heavily, resentment for the man in front of her pouring out of her like she'd never felt before. He epitomised everything she despised: bad parenting, pretentious self-entitlement and an unashamed disregard for the truth. And why should she keep quiet when he was going to punish her either way? She could barely call this excuse to publicly disown Loki a 'trial'.

"You may spend the rest of your days in the dungeons." He told Loki who glared at him. "The mortal shall be incarcerated there as well. You evidently care for her-"

"I?" Loki laughed. "Care for a mortal? How low do you believe my standards have fallen? No, I simply use your treatment of her as an example of your hypocrisy. You speak of justice but deal in punishments, negating the differences. This is what Asgard expects of its king?"

"Either way she shall go too to the dungeons." Odin said dismissively, turning to glare instead at Darcy.

"Perhaps it shall teach her respect for the king."

Darcy laughed, clinging to her right to mock him because it was all she had left. Now she understood why Loki used unflinching remarks so much. Like him she'd hid behind humour all her life, it seemed only fitting that she would now adopt his talent for painful truths.

"Teach me respect? Why don't you earn it?" She suggested. "Or better yet why not torture it into me, that is your style right?"

"Take them away." Odin said.

Darcy wanted to stay and shout at him so more. Every time she'd ever felt pity for Loki welled inside her. Overwhelmingly the time he'd told her about his treatment by the Chitauri. Had he told Odin? She assumed he'd said so under torture but that Odin had ignored or not believed him. She wanted to scream abuse at the king in front of her.

Instead the guards tugged on the chains still connected to her wrists.

Loki walked out with contempt. She followed, she had the choice of walking with the guards or being dragged by them. With only her wrists chained she was able to stumble forwards, albeit with her spine arched absurdly.

Of course the end result would not be changed but somehow the difference seemed important to her. Maybe her words to Odin would mean more if she left silently rather than raving insults.

The guards made her walk at a steady pace, marching her to the dungeons. Outside the door one of them blindfolded her.

"I'm sorry," He said. "It's a necessity, you can't see where the cells are."

Darcy paused. Maybe not everyone was as impressed by Odin's idea of justice as she'd thought. Maybe some saw what Loki had said, Odin asserting his power over humans by sentencing her for something she had not done.

She kept walking, the blindfold itching at her skin and she thought of every Asgardian she'd ever met. There was Thor of course: arrogant but sweet. He'd saved them when Loki had sent that robot. Sif: scary and badass, the only person who'd ever intimidated her outside of the Black Widow and Hawkeye. Volstagg: Friendly and boisterous. Fandral: flirtatious and suave. Hogun: clever and ruthless. Loki: oh God let's not go there. And Odin: A bastard and a dick.

Apparently she wasn't going to be able to just typecast all Asgardians.

She was led through so many corridors and down so many stairs she wondered whether they were actually taking a direct route to the dungeons or whether they were trying to confuse her so she couldn't find her way out again.

Darcy thought that was pretty pointless given that she was sure she wouldn't be able to escape the cell anyway so the exit route was unnecessary.

She couldn't hear Loki's chains either so she assumed they'd taken a different journey.

Speaking of journeys, she was supposed to be going to England today. Instead she'd found her way somewhere a little further away.

Did Jane know what had happened? She and Loki had reached home and then been dragged here so it stood to reason that the Asgardians had been waiting to ambush them. That must have meant Jane knew? Were SHIELD in on it? Had they somehow managed to build a bridge and alert Asgard to let them know their location?

 _Wondering whether Jane and SHIELD were in on it is not going to help your situation_ , she told herself. It would only frustrate her more, wondering if she'd been betrayed.

Would Jane still go to England without her?

Too many questions and what did they matter when Darcy was going to spend the rest of her life rotting in a cell?

The air grew colder until at last a guard removed the blindfold.

When they'd said dungeon Darcy had been imagining a dark, damp room with manacles on the walls and rats scampering across the floor.

Instead she was in a bright room with cells on either side separated what at first she thought was glass but she saw instead was some kind of energy. The cells looked pretty basic, all with a bed a hole in the corner which Darcy told herself she'd never use though how she planned on not using it she'd have to work out later.

Darcy appreciated that somehow the brightness was worse. In the dark it would be easy to blame Asgard, to harbour resentment. In the brightness there was nowhere to hide, no way of avoiding your own guilt. If she had any, that was. Which she didn't.

At the end she saw Loki in a cell. They'd stripped him of most of his leather so that he was in a very basic outfit she would have imagined as Asgardian peasant clothes. She could only imagine how much that would infuriate him.

Apparently her own clothes were demeaning enough to not need change.

He watched her as she passed, an unreadable expression on his face.

They stopped at the cell next to his and the guards untied the manacles around her wrists.

The one who'd grabbed her right at the start pushed her roughly through the magical barrier which bent around her to allow her through. The guards left and she looked round at the cell, her home for the remainder of her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from All Time Low's Come One Come All. Thank you for leaving kudos, comments or just reading.


	33. To Be Honest

The cell was cold, the sudden silence oppressive after the rattling of her chains and the march of armoured feet.

 _Why was everything so white?_  She wondered. It didn't feel real. Nothing was that white. It reminded her of a mental institution. Padded rooms and a straightjacket. She felt like she was in one too; discarded, separate and different from the rest of humanity.

Was this how Loki had felt? Cast out to die alone?

She looked round the cell. It felt so hostile. It seemed to scream to her. Invisible letters scratched:  _you will die here._

She wrapped her arms round her waist, unsure whether it was for comfort or warmth. It wasn't dangerously cold, she supposed, just cold enough that she was uncomfortable. Everything in the cell seemed to be designed to make her feel that way.

Her body felt exhausted from hauling the chains, it was taking every effort she had not to collapse. She slumped against the wall of the cell instead, her arms moving to hold her legs too. She couldn't even tell how much time had passed. Was it a few seconds? Minutes? Hours?

Twenty four years old, she thought, and this was it.

Her anger had evaporated and she was struggling against the desire to cry. What was the point in curling into a ball and weeping? Her tears would change nothing? She would stop crying and be in exactly the same situation she was now.

What was the point in doing anything?

Her throat burned from the effort of restraining her tears.

"Oh Darcy," She muttered to herself. "Why did you have to shout at him?"

But she didn't regret it. She needed to say those things. If she hadn't she'd be here anyway but with the guilt that she'd made no effort to fight.

Somehow the knowledge that she wouldn't have done anything differently comforted her.

She sat up a little straighter against the wall, taking in her room.

An ornate bed stood slightly off centre, closer to the wall opposite her. It looked like something she would find in a Victorian mansion, just slightly smaller. There was an empty table opposite her made of dark wood. A jug was placed on it, a silver cup next to it. The one wall that wasn't white stone was yellowish energy, gridded. Outside the corridor was dark, the cell opposite her empty.

It gave her the unfortunate impression of being shoved into an alcove in the wall, filed away and hidden from sight. Forgotten about.

She pushed her glasses back up her nose, thankful that she'd had no time to put in contacts before they'd gone to Disneyworld because the thought of wearing the same pair of contacts for the rest of her life made her eyes sting.

"Come on, Darcy." She said. "You aren't just going to sit here doing nothing, are you?"

"I'm not doing nothing," She replied. "I'm talking to myself. Wow sure sign of insanity that." She was somehow unable to stop herself. It had been quiet too long.

She heard Loki's words echo through her head:  _Only someone scared of silence would talk as much as you do._

But Loki was locked away. The knowledge that he was in the cell next to her was even more infuriating than if he were in a different planet. He was so close and yet she could not see him.

Her arm fell from around her knees and pressed against the wall behind her as though he could somehow know that she was pressed against it, as close to him as she could get against the cold stone and craving the warmth of his touch. Nothing sexual just enough to know that he was alive and she wasn't alone in all this.

And the desire to cry swept over her again.

Because as much as she was scared she'd never see Jane or Matt or Earth again it was Loki she was most scared of losing. She reached her hand into her pocket and pulled out the key ring she'd bought yesterday, the picture of her and Loki on the rollercoaster. It felt like a life time ago.

She put the key ring back.

"You're pathetic." She told herself.

She jumped up, channelling her sadness into a restless energy.

"You are not going to cry." She told herself. "You are not going to weep over yourself or Loki. Self pity never solved anything, I thought you'd learnt that lesson. And yes you are talking to yourself right now, yes that probably is something to worry about but I'm sure it is not at the top of your list of priorities, right now. At least if you're talking to yourself it's fabulous company."

She laughed nervously, verging on hysterically.

 _I'm insane._ She chanted.  _I'm insane. I've been in here...I don't even know. Less than a day. Probably less than an hour._

She pushed these thoughts aside, walking purposefully over to the bed for something to do. She would have killed for her ipod or a book or a laptop or anything really. Was she really supposed to just spend the rest of her years doing nothing? She had to do something so decided to investigate the place.

She poked it tentatively and sat down. Contrary to its elaborate expensive look, it was rock hard. Clearly substandard for prisoners only. The sheet seemed to be a part of the mattress, less materials for her to use to attempt to escape.

Her eye flickered to the energy barrier. Would it allow air in or would she suffocate long before old age? Did Asgardians even need oxygen?

A sudden thought struck her; if she died of old age would Loki die too?

She felt suddenly very and unreasonably guilty for her morality.

She walked over to the jug on the table. Would they feed her in here? Would she even be able to eat Asgardian food?

She poured the cup full of water, her hand shaking so much that water sloshed out of the sides and splattered to the floor. The level in the jug hadn't changed. 

At least it magically refilling meant she wouldn't die of thirst.

She forced herself to drink it all; she hadn't eaten since last night. She needed something in her. The water tasted funny, metallic from the cup but also foreign like water abroad. It burned as it slid down her dry throat, still stinging from nearly crying and sore from the weight of the chains.

She smiled self-mockingly. From Disneyworld to a cell.  _Well Loki, you did say I should see the palace of Asgard. Is this quite what you imagined?  
_

She clutched the cup tightly, her knuckles turning white. She just wanted to have a grip on something.

She couldn't spend every day like it. She had to get out.

_It's a cell in Asgard and you think you can escape?  
_

_I've got to try,_  she decided. She walked over to the magical barrier. There was only one way to find out what would happen.

She grit her teeth, preparing for pain. She wasn't disappointed. Her finger hit the shimmering air like it was a solid barrier, a pulse of needles running up her arm. She pulled it back quickly, her arm numb like she'd been stung by the wall. She didn't want to think about what would have happened if she hadn't let go.

She frowned at it. There had to be some way out. She thought of her programming course. There was always a flaw.

 _Except this is centuries old magic and not a computer programme,_  she thought derisively. She knelt down careful not to touch the barrier and leant her head to the ground. The barrier stopped about ten inches from the ground where it ran into a ledge of the same smooth white stone the rest of the cell was made of.

She squinted, trying to see if it did connect to the wall.

"I'm afraid you won't be able to escape." A female voice said behind her. She jumped, freezing into place. She recognised the voice but how Frigga had got into her cell she did not know.

Anger at her situation itched at her again. "Well I've got to try." She spat, running her finger along the white ledge, careful not to let it get too close to the magical barrier.

"It is ancient Asgarian magic." Frigga said gently, sounding unperturbed by Darcy's tone. "Many before you have tried and failed."

Darcy sat up and turned to look at her with narrowed eyes. "What and I'm just some stupid mortal?" She asked harshly, standing up. "If all those noble Asgarians have failed why should I succeed?"

Frigga smiled almost apologetically. "I did not mean that. I simply meant that you are wasting your time searching for an escape."

The words set Darcy's teeth on edge yet she was finding it incredibly difficult to get mad at Frigga, it was more just frustration at her situation. "' _Wasting my time?'_ " Darcy repeated scornfully. "In case you haven't noticed I've got plenty. The rest of my life, in fact. Locked up in a cell."

Frigga was looking at her curiously. Darcy realised with sudden embarrassment that she'd just been shouting at the queen of Asgard.

 _Oh well,_  she thought, what  _are they going to do? Throw me in prison?_

"I have told my husband that he is being foolish. Unfortunately he is often too rash with his mind, his heart in the right place." Frigga said. Darcy had to stop her jaw from gaping. How could Frigga still defend him? "He is wrong." She added, as though to clarify for Darcy's anger. "He is wrong to have you incarcerated here. He has never set great store aside for the lives of mortals, it means very little to him that you are in here so long as Loki is as well. I have spoken to him and will continue to until you are free. Unfortunately that is the most I can do."

Darcy thought that she could probably do more, after all she had broken Loki out of prison but given that the Queen of Asgard was begging for her release she thought it might sound a tad ungrateful to ask for more.

Close to, Darcy saw just how stunning Frigga was. Tall, slim and undoubtedly powerful, Darcy felt a surge of jealousy.

"Thank you," She said, for Frigga asking for escape. "Although..."

"Go on." Frigga prompted.

"Just...if you don't mind me asking, your majesty," She added uncertainly. "What are you doing here?"

Frigga smiled and waved her hand. Two chairs appeared in Darcy's cell, high backed and ornate. About a thousand times comfier looking than the floor she'd been pressed against. At Frigga's indication, Darcy sat in one and she sat in the other.

"Well, my dear." She said, once they were sat. "I was hoping I could talk to you."

Darcy frowned in confusion. "About what?"

"Well first I wanted to thank you." Darcy's surprise must have shown because Frigga smiled and continued. "At the trial you stood up to my husband, saying things I myself have been trying to get him to realise, albeit without your...ah... _creative_  use of language."

"Oh well it's fine." Darcy said bashfully. "I mean, someone had to do it and it's not like he listens to Loki when he stands up for himself." Of course Loki did have a tendency to outwardly blame everyone else for the things he internally blamed himself for.

Damn, when did she understand him so well?

"That brings me onto my next question." Frigga said.

"Which is?"

"What exactly is between you and my son?"

Darcy's breath caught in her throat and she looked at Frigga in shock. She was looking at her shrewdly, gauging her reaction.

"Uh," Darcy stuttered. "Currently? About two feet of stone?" She looked at Frigga hopefully, wishing the literal response would suffice.

Frigga smiled gently, slightly condescendingly but in a motherly way. "I meant in terms of relationship."

Darcy paused, her heart beating rapidly in her chest. Well  _there_  was a question she'd been ignoring for a while. She did a quick count in her head. What  _was_  between her and Loki? Friendship, closer than that, she supposed. There were a lot of emotions and things she'd shared with him. Not to mention the very obvious answer of sex. Oh shit how was she supposed to explain friends with benefits to Loki's mom? The thought made her shudder.

"I'm not really sure." Darcy admitted, completely honestly.

"He cares about you a great deal." Frigga stated.

"He told you that?" Darcy asked quickly, blushing as soon as the words were out of her mind. She was like a high school student with a crush.

Only she didn't have a crush on Loki anymore, she was more than happy with their current arrangement.

Well not  _current_ , obviously. What they'd had before they'd been locked in separate cells. Frigga smiled as though she knew exactly what Darcy had thought.

"And here I thought you knew my son better than that." She smiled like they were sharing an inside joke. "He would never openly admit to that. He keeps his thoughts locked tightly in his heart. I have observed his affection for you."

"I'm sorry?" Darcy asked, not getting what she was saying.

"He hides his emotions well." Frigga said. "Despite this his mask of anger slips when he looks at you."

"That's ridiculous." Darcy said. "Uh your majesty."

Frigga smiled affectionately. Darcy felt her throat constrict, her own mother had never looked at her like that. "Please call me Frigga.

"Okay, uh, Frigga," Darcy stated helplessly. "Have you asked him about this?"

Frigga nodded. "I have just come from his cell, I merely wanted your own account."

"Riiiight." Darcy said, trying not to sound as perturbed as she felt. She'd mocked Loki for meeting her parents; she never thought she'd have to meet his and have  _the talk._

"My dear you know that he is fond of you."

"I..." Darcy started. Frigga was prompting her to admit stuff she'd only ever thought. Could she trust her? Darcy had the distinct impression she was talking to the only other person in the universe who cared about what happened to Loki. "He is, yes." She said. "I think I'm the only person he's spoken to properly in years, apart from yourself of course. That charm you put on us, I think it helped. We somehow became friends and...He's told me things I don't think he would ever have willingly shared with another and he knows things about me I never would have wanted anyone to know, but I don't mind with him, for whatever reason."

Frigga nodded so Darcy continued. "I really don't know how he feels about me. He cares for me, I know that. And beyond caring for me simply because the charm means he has to. He trusts me. And I think he's attracted to me...we've uh done stuff." Darcy blushed but she felt she had to disclose everything now that she'd started. "But I don't think he cares anymore than a close friendship. Even that with him though..."

"Is remarkable." Frigga finished. The queen leant back in her chair, wringing her hands together and sighed. Darcy became fixated on her hands, it was only when she saw Frigga do it that she realised Loki did it quite a lot too. There was something to her son about her, despite them not being genetically related.

"Odin would not see reason." Frigga said. "He took Loki's fall, both literal and metaphorical, as a personal insult. Loki and Thor were a reflection of his success, when Loki was captured he felt he had to be shown to be punishing him and, if he could, to teach him better. I told him his methods were not right. I begged and pleaded. I had no choice but to aid his escape, it was that or...you saw the wounds I believe. I could not let my son go through that.

"I sent him to Midgard in the hope he might find safety. After the wrongs he had done your people I knew he would not be allowed free where he would be a danger but you are all so concerned with your morality I knew he would not be in quite so much danger of pain." Darcy thought of Hawkeye and the Black Widow. They probably would have made Odin's treatment look like a few scratches.

"I thought he might be safe there, for a few years, at least, until I managed to convince Odin that the punishment was not right. I knew he would not be able to hide indefinitely. I took his memories of magic and placed the binding charm on him so he would be less of a threat. I never imagined he would find something other than sanctuary in Midgard."

Darcy felt herself turn a similar colour to Thor's cape. "I'm really not...I mean..."

"There is one more thing I wished to ask you." Frigga said. Darcy was finding Frigga's questioning awfully invasive and didn't particularly want anymore. She liked the queen, though, and didn't really see how she could tell her to mind her own business. After all, raising and dealing with a son like Loki couldn't have been easy, she did kind of deserve to know that he had something in his life other than intentions for mass destruction. Even if that something was just someone he didn't want to kill.

_Oh wow Darcy, do you know how to pick guys or what?_

"Go ahead." Darcy said wearily to Frigga.

"How do you feel about Loki?"

" _That,_ " Darcy said slowly, trying not to look to put out. "Is a very good question."

Frigga waited, the silence stretching between them.

"I assume you asked Loki all these questions?" Darcy asked.

"The very same."

"And I assume he answered them?"

"More or less."

"So less." Darcy sighed.

Frigga smiled. "You know him well."

"You don't have to know Loki well to know he'd never answer questions like that. He'd just...let it slip. Accidentally. And then be furious with himself for showing vulnerability. And then be hostile to you." Darcy rambled.

Frigga laughed. "I am glad he does not just do that to me."

Darcy grinned slightly too.

"Now I believe I asked a question." Frigga prompted.

Darcy's grin fell.

"I like him." She said with a shrug. "I think he's attractive and I like his personality. I don't know, he's funny..." She'd never seen sexier sarcasm. "And he's saved my life before." Although he was a right ass about it. "I just wish..."

"Yes?"

"He acts so broken sometimes." Darcy said, feeling both thankful to talk about it and guilty that she was talking about Loki behind his back. "Just comments or he'll look sad or something. And it hurts because he's my friend and I want him to be happy. I want to make everything better. I want him to see that he's worth more than he believes. I mean, don't get me wrong, he is a right asshole at times. Uh, no offence. It's just I get the feeling that a lot of the time it's self fulfilling prophecy. He's told he's actually from a race he was raised to believe were monsters so he becomes the monster.

"From the sounds of it, and I might be reading into this a bit much, he chose Asgard and you. He tried to destroy Jotenheim right? I'm really not saying it was right but I think it was his way of showing just because he was from there it doesn't mean he was part of them, you know? He was showing he was choosing Asgard over Jotenheim and the way he was expected to be if he chose the latter, and became that monster in the attempt.

"And then...well he fell. I think that's what Thor said to the avengers. He let go. He thought he was going to die and I think he just wanted it to end and instead he ended up captured by Chitauri and tortured into acting for them. I just...I want to remove all that. I look at him and I don't see the guy that tried to rule my planet because that was all an act in the first place. I just want him to realise that he's...not always destined to be the villain. He's not always doomed to lose."

Frigga was silent for a few moments. "You really understand him." She said at last.

"Yeah," Darcy said with a slight smile. "Believe me, I never wanted to."

"You seem a remarkable mortal, Darcy." Frigga said. "I am truly sorry we had to meet under such circumstances."

"Yeah well feel free to drop by my cell anytime." Darcy said, aiming for lightheartedness. She could joke about her situation. Why not?

"I wish I could remove the binding charm." Frigga said apologetically. "I assume Loki explained that it was too complex and dangerous?"

"Yeah." Darcy said. "Though if you feel like breaking him out again...?" Darcy suggested hopefully.

"I'm afraid I cannot." Frigga said. Darcy had been afraid of that. "Last time Loki was physically weakened, the security on his holding cell was minimum owing to the fact he was too weak to use it. Here...only someone in the bloodline of the king may remove prisoners, or someone with their permission. The warriors three for instance. Odin knows what I would do, I do not have that. For Loki I believe only my husband or Thor can release him."

"Thor?" Darcy asked. "He can let us out? Great let's go get him!"

At this Frigga frowned, looking rather apologetic. "I do not think he will enable Loki to escape."

"What? But he let him out last time!"

"That was different. Loki was being tortured. Here he is in no pain and he cannot hurt anyone. Loki attacking Earth was the ultimate betrayal to Thor. He had thought his brother dead and instead found him fighting the planet he loved. He gave him many chances to stop, to redeem himself. I think his trust in his brother is completely gone. Loki has hurt him too much." Frigga's voice was tight. Darcy felt a sudden wave of pity for her. Her family had torn itself apart. She seemed to be the only one who did not play a part in the destruction and yet was the one who had to put up with the consequences.

"But...you're queen!" Darcy protested desperately. "Couldn't you talk him round?"

"My dear, if I were able to convince my sons of anything do you really believe one of them would be in the dungeons?" She said sadly.

"But couldn't you command it?" She begged.

"I'm sorry." Frigga shook her head. "I cannot enable your escape."

Darcy sighed, her stomach plummeting. Her hope when she discovered Thor could break them out dissipating and leaving her empty.

"Okay." She said. "I understand."

"There is one thing I may be able to do." Frigga said.

Darcy's head snapped up. "What is it?" She asked, trying not to let her hopes get too high.

"The security in the cells is high, higher than anything I could break. Most of it directed to the entrance." She gestured to the energy barrier.

"But you're here?" Darcy asked confused. If Frigga could get in, surely they could get out?

"I am but a mere projection. My physical form remains in my chambers." To demonstrate this she leant closer and placed her hand over Darcy's. All the latter felt was a slight vibration in the air. "However the power between cells is rather weak. After all what use would it be to simply move to another cell?"

"So you could..."

"Would you like to?"

"Yes!"

Frigga smiled, a little too knowingly. "Take my hand, child."

"Uh won't it just disappear?" Darcy asked, after all if Frigga was just a projection she didn't really see how that would work.

"Do not worry about it." Frigga said, reaching her hand out. Again Darcy felt the vibration of air. And then she was pushed into blackness. It was different this time, however. Instead of being knocked completely off of her feet she felt like she was simply being pushed sideways. Away from the loneliness and into Loki's cell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Carolina Liar's No More Secrets. Thank you for reading.


	34. Gospel For The Fallen Ones

She stopped falling like she’d slammed into a wall, her head snapping up at the impact.   
                “Loki!” She squealed happily, running to him before the shocked expression could leave his face. She slammed into his chest and he instantly wrapped his arms round her. She inhaled his scent, wanting to commit it to memory. There had been a moment in the cell where she had thought she would never see him again.   
                “Darcy?” He said in reply, his arms tightening around her. She pressed her body against his chest, hearing his heart beat under her ear. She savoured the noise, after the silence of the cell, the heartbeat of another being was like a symphony.   
                She wasn’t sure how long the hug lasted but it was definitely a lot longer than usual. At last he pulled away.   
                “How are-” He started but then his smile at her presence morphed into a look of fierce anger. His hand gently lifted her chin and he stared furiously at her neck.   
                At the same moment, he saw his mother, the projection of the queen had been standing watching with a contented smile in the corner of the cell.   
                “You see,” He spat angrily. “You expect me to make amends with the Allfather and he does this.”  
                His thumb gently traced where the collar had cut into her skin. She assumed she must have had a red line or something there. It stung slightly as he touched it but tingled too. She noticed he had a thin white line round his own neck though whether they were from his own chains or his share of her wounds she did not know.  
                “He did not order the use of the chains.” Frigga said. “The guards merely used them because they are normally required to.”  
                “Those chains are designed to be difficult to hold for Asgardians.” Loki hissed. “And the Allfather did not think to say not to use them.”  
                Frigga said nothing and Loki turned back to Darcy, one arm still wrapped round her waist as the other tilted her chin up. He moved the hand from her chin to one of her wrists, still pressed against his chest. There too she saw angry red lines where the chains had rested.   
                At his touch a similar tingling sensation spread across them like ice on a burn. She watched with a childlike fascination as the wounds disappeared. He quickly healed her other wrist too.   
                “Now would someone explain why, and how, you are here?”  
                “I cannot help you to escape.” Frigga said. “I am afraid the most I could do was to ensure you were together. I shall tell the guards the binding charm was affected by the magic of the cells, that you needed to be placed together. It is the most I can do,” She repeated. “For now.”  
                Loki nodded tersely.   
                “Thank you.” Darcy said.   
                Frigga smiled once more at the sight of them, neither having let go of the other yet.   
                “I daresay you will wish to have some discussion without me here to listen. I shall visit again soon.” She said.   
                Loki nodded his goodbye, clearly too wary to use words but too conflicted over his affection for his mother to ignore her completely.   
                Darcy said bye and Frigga disappeared like she’d never been there at all.   
                Darcy buried her head back against Loki’s chest. She didn’t know how long she stayed in his arms. Neither said anything, she just stayed clutching onto him, his arms tensed around her, holding on just as desperately.   
                He was here. He was real. She wasn’t alone.   
                And what was the point in saying anything when they both knew exactly how the other one was feeling?  
                What was the point in leaving his embrace? It wasn’t like they had anything else to do.   
                “Darcy,” He said after a while, his voice muffled against her hair. “I am truly sorry you were ever-”  
                “No.” She interrupted him. “No don’t apologise. It wasn’t your fault. And...I’d rather be here.”  
                He pulled away, placing his hands on her shoulders and looking at her as though in fear for her sanity. “You would rather be here?” He asked disbelievingly. “ _Here?_ ”  
                “Well I don’t mean this is a great place to be.” She explained. “But I’d rather be here with you than...you know, you having to be here alone.” As much as being alone in a cell was bad for her, she could only imagine what it would do to Loki’s messed up mentality.   
                He searched her face, for what she did not know, perhaps a sign of her lying? His face was passive, the only change a slight tightening of his jaw. She determinedly stared into his eyes, wanting him to find the truth here.   
                Being alone was horrible. The knowledge that you would be alone forever... At least they were locked away together.   
                After what seemed like an eternity he nodded.                  
                She walked away, feeling awkward. They’d been too serious for too long and it had left her feeling slightly embarrassed. A bit too clingy.   
                “So your father,” She started, aiming for jokey airiness. “He’s uh, quite a character, huh?”  
                She sat on the edge of the bed, Loki watching her from the opposite wall.   
                He shook his head slowly and sat on the floor, leaning against the wall with one leg outstretched and one bent. She looked away from his legs because they were stupidly long and stupidly attractive.   
                “You should have seen him at my first trial.” He said. “If it can even be called that.”  
                “Really?” Darcy asked, the trial seemed amusing again now that she wasn’t looking at spending the rest of her life alone. “What did he say?”  
                “‘Your birthright was to die,’” Loki imitated, sounding bored but she could see the slight rigidity in his posture that meant he was on edge. She had to resist the urge to hug him because the last thing he ever wanted was sympathy. “‘Frigga is the only reason you live and you will never see her again.’”   
                “Jesus Christ,” Darcy said. “And I thought my parents were dicks. And he seriously raised you and Thor telling you that you were both born to be kings?”  
                “Yes.”   
                “Despite there being only one actual throne?”  
                “There was the throne of Jotenheim.” He answered bitterly. “Had he placed me there he would have ruled both the Asgardians and the Frost Giants.”  
                “So wait he raised you to hate the citizens of Jotenheim, not telling you that you were technically one of them, favoured Thor, told you both you were to be king and then just expected to be able to spring a sudden ‘hey Loki, Jotenheim needs a king and guess what, you fit the species’ on you so he could rule through you?” She asked, unable to comprehend this all.   
                “Apparently so.”  
                “And he thought you’d be okay with that? And be like some puppet king for him to control? Like, has he even met you?” Darcy asked. Loki smirked. “I don’t know Loki, maybe you should be thankful you aren’t genetically related to him. You could have ended up with his brains or something.”  
                This time he did laugh. “Well I think Thor benefitted from that particular gene.”  
                Darcy rolled her eyes and fell back on the hard bed. “I so did not start this conversation so we could start bashing Thor.”  
                “Ah well I suppose we have plenty of time to get to that.” He said, rolling his head to face the ceiling.   
                “Speaking of,” Darcy asked. “When are we getting out of here?”   
                “I do not know.” He answered.   
                “What?” She asked, sitting up. “But you’re Loki!”  
                “Yes and I do not know.”  
                “But,” She frowned. “You can’t expect me to believe you plan on staying here forever! You’re the king of escapes!”  
                “Don’t be ridiculous.” He answered shortly. “Of course I plan on escaping. I just do not know how yet. I have no doubt an opportunity will present itself soon enough.”   
                Darcy felt irritation prickle beneath her skin. “Oh well take your time.” She said. “As long as you need. Of course some of us don’t have quite as much time to spend waiting as you do. But yeah, let me know if you escape in a few hundred years. Don’t forget to take my skeleton with you.”  
                “You will not die.” He said quietly, looking at the floor.   
                “And how exactly do you expect to stop me?” She snapped.   
                “I mean that you cannot die.” He answered, looking up to meet her eyes. She looked at him carefully. He didn’t look like he was lying but she could never tell with him.   
                “What...I...Explain.” She said, lost.             
                “These cells are designed to prevent escape of all kind. Death included. While you are here your life stretches to last that of an Asgardian.”   
                “So what, I’m Asgardian now?” She asked, unable to quite wrap her head around what he was saying.   
                “No.” He said. “Only the Allfather has the power to make a mortal Asgardian. I somehow doubt that after your words he would extend that courtesy to you.”  
                Darcy frowned. “But if he can make people Asgardians then why is Thor falling for Jane such a problem? Can’t you just, I don’t know, make her the Goddess of Physics?”  
                “The process is dangerous.” He answered. “Five have been attempted in my life time. Only one was successful.”  
                “And the ones that weren’t successful?” She asked.   
                He did not answer her but looked at her with resignation.   
                “They died?” She asked, her throat feeling tight.   
                He gave a sharp nod.   
                “Right... well maybe we should keep Jane away from that then.” She answered. She let his words register. So realistically she could spend eternity looking at these walls? As the world moves along without her? Her friends getting old and married and having children and dying while she’s stuck in a white box on Asgard?  
                “I can’t believe I finally get to be immortal and it’s so that I can spend forever in prison.” She said at last.   
                “We will escape, do not worry.”   
                She sighed. Reminding herself that while her current situation wasn’t great, it was better than being alone in her cell. Even being with someone else stopped it feeling so cold.   
                “What did Frigga say to you?” Darcy asked, remembering what she had said about visiting Loki first.   
                He looked away. “Nothing of importance.”   
                She felt her lips tug into a smile. He may as well have blushed. So she had asked Loki about her. Darcy was hit by the sudden and intense desire to know what Loki had said in reply.   
                 _Don’t be ridiculous,_  she told herself,  _you know full well he will have said that at most he likes fucking you and I somehow doubt he’d say even that to his mother of all people._    
                “Did she say anything to you?” He asked.   
                “Just said she could place us in a cell together.” Darcy lied quickly. Loki narrowed his eyes at her suspiciously.   
                “You are lying.” He stated. “What did she say?”  
                Darcy picked at her nails. “Nothing of importance”   
                He looked at her warily. She expected him to demand she tell him the truth. To her surprise, he simply smirked.   
                Shit, had he guessed that she’d been asked the same stuff he had?  
                But then what did that matter either? He will just have assumed she gave the same answer he did.   
                 _But why didn’t you give the same answer he did?_  She asked herself.   
                 _Oh don’t be stupid, brain. I couldn’t have put it that bluntly to his mother, the queen of fricking Asgard. Don’t go reading into some stupid extra feelings for him.  
_                 A sudden noise interrupted her thoughts and made her jump, like a sharp high bell abruptly cut off.   
                “What was that?” She asked Loki.   
                “I believe that was our meal arriving.” Loki said, gesturing to the table where a tray had appeared. He walked over to it and picked it up. “Two plates so I assume mother has spread the news of our current living arrangement.”  
                Darcy rolled off the bed and sat cross legged on the floor where Loki placed the tray, wishing they had a table or something.   
                He sat opposite her. “Not quite the match of last night.” He said. She thought back to their three course meal in the disney Castle and looked dispiritedly at the meal in front of them. Whilst it wasn’t gruel or anything, the portion was tiny and it certainly wasn’t the best quality. The food was clearly Asgardian but it looked to her like grey mashed potatoes, bruised carrots and the tiniest slice of beef she’d ever seen.   
                “This is seriously it?” She asked, prodding the plate which would have been too small for a slice of toast.   
                “You may have mine.” He said, shoving the plate towards her.   
                “Nuh uh.” She said. “You don’t eat enough as it is, I’m not eating your food for you.”   
                He shrugged and began to pick at his food in that annoying way of his.     
                She took a tentative taste of the grey potatoes. They tasted like rubbery pasta. She ate the whole plateful in under ten bites.   
                Given that the last meal she’d eaten had been last night she still felt rather hollow. They’d placed another cup on the tray as well so she filled it with water from the jug, getting Loki one too and returning to the floor.   
                “So is this what they fed you last time?” She asked.   
                “I was sent it.” Loki said, pushing his empty plate back onto the tray. “More often than not I was too weak to eat it.”  
                She felt another wave of hatred towards Odin. Physical repulsion that made her skin burn. She’d never felt such hatred towards anyone.   
                “Odin just gets better and better.” She replied, pouring herself another drink. “I wish I could say it was nice to have a night off from cooking but I’d rather do it if it means the food is nice.”  
                Her mind wandered down to Earth. Would Jane cook tonight? Alone in their house? Would she still be there? Or would they send her back to their old home now that they didn’t need a secure place to keep Loki? Or would she have still gone to England? Would Darcy’s arrest change her desire to build the bridge?  
                A sudden tug of loneliness pulled at her gut. She wanted to be back home so desperately.          She forced herself to look at Loki, sat opposite her. It wasn’t enough. He was still too far away.   
                She moved closer, knocking the trays between them out of the way.   
                “What-”  
                “Shush.” She said, kneeling so that she was the same height as him sat down. She took his face in her hands, holding his jaw steadily.   
                He looked at her intensely and she stared into his eyes. Focusing on the black island in the sea of green. He was here and she wasn’t alone.   
                The tips of her fingers tickled the back of his neck.   
                His hands moved to hold her waist but didn’t go beyond that, letting her watch him unashamedly. Maybe he understood her need to truly register that he was here. Maybe he just thought it was some weird human display of love. Either way he remained silent, staring into her eyes as she ran hers down the length of him, from his ink black hair, across the planes of his face to the pale thin lines that were his lips.   
                Her thumbs traced the sharp cheekbones she loved, warm and smooth and  _real_  under her touch. She stroked the gentle slopes of his face, trailing along his jaw and into his hair. She returned her eyes to his. Somehow she never quite got used to the intensity of them. Their green was the most comforting colour she could think of.   
                She was breathing shakily, his own chest rising and falling evenly.               
                “Promise you won’t leave me.” She said, the words tumbling out of her mouth before she could stop them. It was truly unlike her and she surprised herself with them. He too looked slightly surprised.   
                “Darcy, you know that I would never-”  
                “Please.” She said again, repulsed by the vulnerability she heard in her voice. What could she say? In a single day she’d been torn from her home planet and thrown away today. Removed from everything she knew. Loki was the only thing left and she was suddenly desperate to make sure he was a secure thing to have.   
                “Darcy,” He said firmly, his eyes locked on hers. “I assure you I will not leave you here. Even if the bond between us broke, I would ensure you were free.”  
                Her stomach tightened. She felt relief at his words, at the fact he hadn’t mocked her for demanding them. But she also felt cripplingly embarrassed that she had asked for them.   
                “Thanks.” She mumbled, her hands falling from his jaw to rest on his shoulders. She leant the tip of her head against his forehead, her lips opening to apologise but before she could say anything his hand moved from her waist to tilt her chin up like he had when he’d healed her neck, instead taking advantage of her parted lips to press his against them.   
                And her embarrassment was gone, only Loki there, with her mattered. She moved so that she was straddling him, sat on his lap against the wall of the cell. His hands were back on her waist, beneath her jumper, electric on her naked skin.                   
                She bit his lip and a small moan escaped him. For a while all they did was kiss, varying from sweet and gentle to passionate and forceful in seconds. He pulled the jumper off from over her head, discarding it against the floor of the cell.   
                His prison clothes looked easier to get off of him than his usual leather so she tugged his jacket off, revealing the green shirt underneath.   
                His heart was thumping under her hand, his fingers working to her bra. It was only then that a sudden thought crossed into her mind. She pulled away, gasping. His chest heaved underneath her.   
                “They can’t see us right?” She checked, her voice coming out as a gasp.  
                Loki looked confused for a split second but then seemed to realise what she was talking about. His eyes flicked to the energy barrier.   
                She watched as it went black and frowned at him, her heart still beating rapidly.   
                “An illusion.” He said. “No one can see.”   
                “Thank fuck.” She said, returning to where she’d left off.   
                Maybe being imprisoned with Loki wouldn’t be too bad after all. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Title from This Is Gospel by Panic! At The Disco. Thank you for reading, leaving kudos and commenting. I was going to reply to a few comments here but I can't remember what I was going to say, just know that they're all appreciated.


	35. Do My Time

Darcy struggled to sleep that night. Loki had told her to take the bed but she'd called him an idiot, as she so happily did, and insisted there was room enough for both of them. And there was, that wasn't the problem. It was just that his deep breathing beside her just made her more aware of the fact that she was still awake.

Maybe it was just because it was her first night in the cell. She was just having problems adjusting.

 _You just had sex on the floor of the cell,_  a voice in her head said,  _don't tell me you can't adjust to sleep in it._

It was just as bright, the lights not getting any dimmer now that it was night. Well they'd assumed it was night given that they'd been sent dinner but that was the only way of telling time down there.

Loki had managed to project darkness around them, like he had done to the barrier to give them more privacy. She'd asked him whether that would be allowed; surely the guards wouldn't want to be unable to see them but Loki had said it was only black from their side, from the other it would look like they were both there, on separate sides of the cell. She couldn't help but find this amusing because they'd just been as close you could physically be but were still keeping up a pretence of having no feelings for each other for the Asgardians.

No, she didn't know why she couldn't sleep, just that it was damn annoying.

Loki muttered something in his sleep and she turned to watch him, wondering if there was a way to watch someone sleep which wasn't entirely creepy.

 _God I'm becoming a fucking twilight vampire._  She thought, wondering when she'd start to sparkle.

Loki suddenly started twitching.

Darcy jumped up, worried.

"No..." He muttered. She stood watching, wondering if she should do something. He was panting as though strangled for air and she could see a cold sweat beading on his face.

"Loki," She called, running forwards and shaking him. "Loki, wake up."

His breathing became more desperate like the air was disappearing.

She slapped him. He sat up so fast she had to jump out of the way to avoid her head hitting his.

"What...?" He asked, breathing heavily.

"Are you okay?" She asked, walking back to him.

"Fine." He said, throwing his legs out of bed and walking to the jug and cup on the table. His hand was shaking like hers had been yesterday as he took a long gulp from the cup.

"What was that?" She asked, watching him warily.

"Nothing." He snapped. He looked so pale he almost glowed in the dim light. His hands were still shaking, clenched at his sides.

"That wasn't 'nothing.'" She started furiously in response.

"It just happens sometimes." He shouted angrily. She saw that his eyes were glistening, filled with tears that he refused to shed.

She swallowed, her throat dry. She wanted to tell him not to take his anger out on her but knew he was only being a dick because he didn't want her pity. He was far too proud for that.

"Okay," She said, gently. "Bad dreams?" She asked.

He laughed derisively. "An understatement."

"Chituari?" She asked.

He glanced away, looking for a moment like he was going to deny it. "Yes." He said simply, his words clipped and tight. "Most of the time. Occasionally it is...other things."

She nodded slowly. "How often?"

"It is rarer for it not to happen." He said. She thought back, remembering the abrupt way he'd jumped up when he'd collapsed in Oregon. Had he had a dream of torture then? That first night they'd slept together.  _'More surprised that I slept through the night...'_  she hadn't even registered the comment properly then.

She didn't really know how to react. Clearly nothing sympathetic, he'd only hate her for it. But she couldn't ignore it completely.

"If it happens again," She said after a few moments. "Wake me."

He glared at her. "I do not think that will accomplish anything."

"I won't be able to stop them," She agreed. "But you shouldn't have them alone."

He paused and contemplated her words before nodding. It was the closest thing to a thank you that she thought he was capable of.

She stood up and walked over to him. He looked at her doubtfully, perhaps scared that she would start kissing him or something. Darcy rolled her eyes. Did he really think that she was so horny that she couldn't control herself at a moment like this?

She took his hand in hers and pulled him back to the bed.

She sat down and after a moment of hesitation he got in too.

"You should sleep." She told him.

"Why were you awake?" He asked.

"I couldn't sleep." She replied.

"Then you are hardly one to lecture me." He said.

"I'll sleep if you do." She retorted.

And they did.

She woke in the morning to the sharp ding that meant food had appeared. In the place of the plates of yesterday sat two, equally tiny bowls.

She stretched and yawned while Loki got up and brought the tray back.

"Breakfast in bed." She smiled mockingly. "Well I guess it's as good a start as any to day two of prison living."

He frowned. "Perhaps you ought to wait until you try it before declaring that statement."

He was right. It tasted like sour yoghurt. It slightly lessened her hunger but not by much. Shouldn't her stomach have shrunk by now?

"Are you all right?" He asked as though questioning her sanity. She'd crossed and uncrossed her legs about ten times and he appeared to believe she had a leg spasm.

"Oh...uh...I kind of need to pee. But I am so not using a hole in the ground in a room with a see through wall." She said.

"Right." Loki said, flicking his hand. Immediately walls appeared in the corner, a door in the middle around the hole.

"Yay portable bathroom." Darcy said, not managing to convince herself. Walls or not, there was no disguising the fact that it was quite far removed from yesterday's bathroom at a five star hotel.

She grabbed the jug from the side. "I'm going to attempt to shower as well."

Well it could have been worse. Showing with the water jug was unpleasant, the water was steady but her arm grew sore from holding it above her head and she had no soap or anything.

She pulled back on her clothes, now being worn for the third day in a row, she wished she had some new ones. She walked back out, pulling at the strands of her hair in an attempt to get the knots out.

When she emerged, she saw that Frigga was visiting.

"Oh hey." She greeted, wishing she had some hair bands or something so that she could at least braid the wet strands.

"Hello, dear." She said. Loki was standing a few feet from Frigga, looking hostile.

She saw something else had changed as well. In the corner of the cell stood a small mountain of books.

"Oh my God you brought books!" Darcy squealed excitedly.

"Yes." Frigga said. "I thought they may ease your time spent here."

"Wow, thanks." Darcy said in awe. Her eyes flicked to Loki who still looked annoyed. "What's the matter with you?" She asked. "You love books."

His lip curled in disgust. "Enjoying reading and being expected to spend the rest of my life ploughing through books are two very different things."

"I don't know," Darcy said. "Being expected to spend your whole life doing nothing but reading seems pretty great to me."

"Yes but you are-"

"A mortal?" She finished for him. "Not really, not while I'm here."

"I did not mean-"

"Yes you did." She replied. "Don't lie, we all know you're prejudiced against mortals, no matter how long you've spent living with us."

"I did not intend to insult you." He said.

"No I get that." Darcy answered, leaning against the wall, facing him. "You were just using it to excuse any opinion I have that differs from yours."

"And," Frigga said loudly, interrupting their argument. "No one expects you to spend the rest of your life reading."

"Right," Loki said, his usual sarcasm back. "I forgot that you have some plan to get me out of here. Only it involves telling the Allfather to release me. Well forgive me for not being quite as assured of your plan's success as you are."

"Loki, you just need to give him some time."

"In case you have not noticed, mother, his plans simply become more set over time. Or have you neglected to notice that in your time married to him?" Loki spat.

"Loki," Darcy snapped. "Stop being such a dick."

"I was under the impression you wanted to leave too." He turned on her.

"I do," She retorted angrily. "But you shouting at your mom is really not going to help that. And you know it won't so stop taking your anger at your family out on the one person in it who actually still cares for you."

"Your brother cares for you too." Frigga added.

"Yes I'm sure my imprisonment must be hard on him. Tell me, does he ask after me every waking moment?"

"I swear to God Loki if you keep whining I'll-"

"Caring for you and wishing for you to escape are two different things, Loki." Frigga interrupted. "Your brother loves you dearly but you must accept that he has reason enough to distrust you."

Loki turned away from her in annoyance.

Darcy felt guilty by association.

"I'm sorry." She said, apologising for the way Loki was acting.

Frigga laughed. "Do not apologise, my dear, I am more than used to my son's behaviour. I believe he gets his stubbornness from his father."

Darcy sent a nervous look in Loki's direction, expecting him to break out a rounding rendition of "he's not my father" but he was sulking and not paying attention. God, he could be annoying sometimes.

_Someone remind me why I put up with him.  
_

"Thanks for the books." Darcy said.

"Oh that's quite all right." Frigga said, smiling. Okay, Darcy really loved this woman. "I brought you this as well."

She gestured over to a small pile of fabrics with some toiletries on top: glass bottles filled with coloured oils and gels.

"I thought you might wish for a change of clothes." She explained as Darcy took them. "Though I am afraid we have none of mortal design."

"Oh, thank you so much." Darcy replied, slightly overwhelmed. This was not part of the prison deal she'd been expecting.

"Let me know if there's anything else I can get you." Frigga said. "Anything that would aid this unjust sentence."

Darcy could think of many things: more food, her ipod, alcohol, hot water, internet connection and a phone- hers must have fallen out when the Asgardians had grabbed her- to name a few. Given that Frigga had already given her more than she'd expected, however, she didn't feel right asking for anything else.

"I will." Darcy lied.

There was silence for a few seconds. "Well uh..." She started awkwardly. "I'm going to go change into something that I haven't been wearing for three days."

She left back into the 'bathroom' and took the jug with her because she figured dousing herself with the water didn't really count as a proper shower.

She picked up an orange bottle from the top, expecting it to smell like oranges or something. Instead there was a somewhat spicy floral scent, presumably some plant from Asgard.

Once showered, she dressed into one of the gowns Frigga had brought her. Unfortunately Frigga hadn't brought her new underwear but that was a tad too embarrassing to ask the Queen of Asgard for. After all how were you supposed to ask someone for pants when their son had been in them?

The dress was a bit tight around the chest area but not uncomfortably so. It was made of some dark purple fabric which was softer than silk and had a darker purple pattern on it but it was so intricate Darcy couldn't tell what it was supposed to be. It had capped sleeves but was thick enough that she didn't feel like she needed a cardigan or anything. There was a dark bronze metal plate like a belt where it cinched below her boobs and, wow, Frigga had even included matching metal cuffs.

By the time she'd managed to squeeze her wrists through it, her hair had dried. The gel or whatever it was that she'd rubbed into it had dried it quicker than was possible with a hair dryer and forced it to dry into ringlets without her having to curl it.

She was going to have to take some of that stuff back to Earth.

Unsure of what to do with her clothes she left them in a pile by the fake wall Loki had created, wishing she could wash them. As pretty as the dress was, Darcy wasn't really a gown kind of girl and she just really wanted her jumper back.

When she went back into their main room, Frigga was gone.

"Why can't you be nice?" Darcy asked Loki, playing with the cuff round her wrist.

"Why do you expect me to be?" He retorted. He was sat on the ledge by the barrier with a book. The image of Loki sprawled out reading was so familiar she let his comment slide in place of a smile of endearment.

"Are the books any good?" She asked walking over to the pile of them.

Loki glanced up from his page. "By the nine realms," He muttered.

"What?" She asked, then realised he was checking her out. "Dude seriously? Asgard fashion is what gets you going? I knew metal was your thing!"

He was still watching her, the way he'd looked at her that night of the Christmas party. "If only you had access to a looking glass, you would see why I am currently finding myself speechless."

"Yeah you sure sound speechless, silvertongue." She retorted, picking a book off the top of the pile. "We can fuck later, I want to read."

"You expect me to be able to concentrate on a book whilst you look like that?" He asked.

"If you're using your dick to read then I hate to break this to you but I think you're doing it wrong." She said calmly, secretly enjoying teasing him but determined not to show it as she sat at the other end of the ledge, her bare toes tickling his shoes.

He smirked. "Do you realise how many people would reply with a sentence like that?"

"Nope. Do you know how many people have leered at me like that?" She replied. Though it wasn't quite true. Yes there was a certain hungriness to Loki's gaze but there was also respect, a reverence that not many other guys would have had.

She turned the front cover and saw that it was Asgardian. Of course if she'd thought about it she would have expected as much but the sight of books had convinced her that they would be in English.

Still she could not help but trail her fingers over the words printed on the page. Books had been the one constant through all the shit in her life and she loved them. But it was more than loving reading; it was loving the smell of books, their weight and shape in your arms, the mesh of paper you only found in books and the way it felt on your skin. The way that printed words looked so smooth on the yellowish pages. It was, literally, loving books.

She may not have been able to read it but the comfort the book exuded was enough to give her the same comfort that Loki's touch had given her yesterday.

"Darcy, you can't read Asgardian." Loki told her.

"Yes I just realised that fatal flaw in my plan to ignore you." She answered.

He smirked, his eyes falling from her curled hair to her dress. So much for her not caring that it was a bit tight at the top. "Does that mean you require alternate entertainment?"

She frowned. "No I require the same entertainment just in a different format."

"Meaning?"

"Read to me." She said.

He raised an eyebrow sceptically. When she didn't say anything he shrugged.

"Very well." He began to read, translating the Asgardian into English.

Asgardian books were different to Earth ones. More like classic books where what was written was just as important as what they were trying to say; plot important but also written like poetry.

With Loki's smooth, low voice she didn't really stand a chance as he read to her.

It seemed to be outlining some battle on a place called Alfheim. Loki was good at reading, she decided.

After a few hours their lunch appeared. Darcy didn't even pay attention to what it was she was eating, just knowing that it wasn't the nicest food in the world.

She felt full at the end though which was kind of worrying because it was a tiny portion again.

"Was it true?" She asked Loki. "That battle? Or was it fiction?"

"It was true." He answered. "I was there."

"You?" She asked in surprise. "But it was like five hundred years ago...oh yeah you're ancient. I forgot. What was it like?"

"I just read you-"

"No but what was it like? Not what happened but what did it feel like? And what did you do there?"

"Am I to entertain you with stories for our entire imprisonment?" He asked.

"Yes." She replied. And so he told her. She liked hearing stories about Loki before her turned all hurt and evil. Stories where he saved Thor and spoke words of wisdom rather than destruction. Ones where he readily admitted needing the help of others like the time he'd been captured by dwarves and the warriors three and Thor had rescued him.

Being arrested was certainly more enjoyable when in a prison cell with a Norse God to keep you entertained.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Dust Bowl Dance by Mumford and Sons. Thanks for reading and reviewing. Thor: The Dark World spoilers for the upcoming chapters so if you haven't seen it (I'm assuming if you're reading fanfiction then you've seen the films but just checking) I suggest you watch it first.


	36. Not Very Sensible

"Okay but remember that time we were sick and we watched the Lord of the Rings and you were all grumpy over soup?" Darcy asked, a grin falling effortlessly into place.

"I believe you tried to convince me you owned a magic blanket." Loki said. She tilted her head up from where she lay against his shoulder and saw that he too was smiling, though of course with him it was always more of a smirk.

"Yep well your face at the soup was hilarious." Darcy told him.

"Perhaps but what about when I created the spider illusions?" He retorted. "It was far more amusing. You were hardly the picture of calm serenity."

"Yeah I still haven't entirely forgiven you for that one." She replied bitterly. Loki kissed her forehead.

"I suppose I shall have to make amends."

"Definitely." She agreed, turning to kiss him but his arm around her tightened, holding her in place.

"Your distraction will not work." He said sternly.

She sighed. "You can hardly pretend that you'd rather teach me Asgardian than have sex."

"Oh definitely not but equally you cannot turn to seduction every time you struggle with a word."

She pouted. "Seduction is a coping mechanism."

The corner of his lips twitched slightly.

"Read the sentence, Darcy." He said calmly. "I believe learning Asgardian was your idea."

"That's before I knew how hard it was." She muttered but returned to the pretty lettering anyway. The book was propped up against Loki's knee. "Okay soooo 'The first of the nine realms is Nilfheim, referred to as the world of fog and...and...marsh?'"

"Mist." Loki corrected.

"Right. So '...the world of fog and mist. Beneath its surface lies Helheim..." Darcy continued. She was growing rather good at reading Asgardian now.

Then again she should hope so given that they'd been in the cell for three months and hadn't really had much else to do. The first few weeks hadn't really been that bad. It felt kind of like she was on holiday.

After that it was surprisingly easy to grow accustomed to the cell, so that she no longer felt quite as bored or restless as she first had at being locked away.

Just because she'd grown used to it, however, didn't mean she didn't still desperately want to escape. Didn't want to tear Odin limb from limb for putting her there...

Her mind wandered town to Earth. Of course it was possible that time moved differently in Asgard than it did on Earth but if not then it would be May. Trees would be green again, it would be too hot in New Mexico for her jumpers and if she let herself get too caught up in the half fantasy, half memory of New Mexico spring then she could even smell the barren sandy desert burning in the heat.

Of course she'd actually be in England so it would probably be raining but she had even begun craving the sound of water hitting pavement as the humidity that accompanied it crushed like a warm breath against her skin, her hair frizzing in protest.

That was one of the things Darcy missed most; knowing what the weather was doing. The colour of the sky, the feel of the sun, the strength of the wind...the time...

"Your Asgardian reading is coming along magnificently." A female voice said.

"Hey Frigga." Darcy greeted happily, glad that she was past the awkward phase of not knowing how to communicate with the queen.

Loki closed the book and put it aside. Darcy moved over, allowing him to stand up, restless as he always became in the presence of his mother.

"Loki," Frigga said gently, watching him with a loving expression that Darcy was certain her own mother had never attempted. Not unless someone was watching to praise her fabulous mothering, that was.

"Hello mother." Loki said, not looking at her.

Darcy felt her heart squeeze as it so often did when she watched them together. She felt oddly like a therapist as she watched them. She wanted to tell Loki that he didn't have to close his mother off, that she truly cared for him. She thought maybe he knew that but his doubts over anyone's affection for him tended to beat any certainty he felt in regards for it.

And she wanted to tell Frigga the same. That Loki loved her but struggled not to show it, scared that to love anyone was to risk being hurt; like he had with Odin. With Thor. Darcy was the exception; a mortal he befriended and fucked but a mortal nonetheless, incapable of hurting someone with his level of pride.

Not for the first time, Darcy felt sympathy for Frigga. What was it like to love someone whose whole ethos was to wear his hate like a shield? Despise him in return and what does it matter if he can pretend he hated you first? It doesn't hurt as much, right? Clearly he was too busy convincing himself of his hatred for everyone to recognise their love.

Darcy and Frigga; the two exceptions who for some unfathomable reason Loki couldn't convince himself he hated.

Darcy leant back against the wall, tired of her psycho analysis of Loki and watched them. Why did she have to understand someone so completely who was so complex? So ready to believe they were broken?

A wry smile crossed her face. It was becoming an unfortunate habit of hers.

He walked over to the edge of the energy barrier. She knew why he did it; Frigga was just a projection. He kept his distance because he craved her love so much it scared him, easier to deny it at all.

Darcy rolled her eyes.

_Are you really going with the 'Loki is a scared boy who just wants his mother's hugs' excuse?_

Okay so it wouldn't fix him but at the heart of all his problems wasn't there rejection? Surely a hug couldn't hurt?

_Well you've done a lot more than that._

A hug from someone who wasn't her, she corrected.

 _Not excusing Loki's actions_ , she chanted to herself.

Frigga turned to Darcy. "Your friend Jane is on Asgard."

"WHAT?!" Darcy asked, scrambling to her feet. She was wearing a different long dress today, blue this time, but no matter how many she wore she just couldn't get used to the length of the fabric. "Jane's here? Why?"

Frigga smiled indulgently. "It appears her research into the bifrost had progressed much further than we had expected. It caused her to fall ill-"

"Is she okay?" Darcy asked frantically. Three months and she'd heard nothing of Jane, suddenly her stomach was contracting painfully at the thought. And she was ill? Oh God she missed her.

"She is fine. For now." Frigga said. "Nothing serious at the moment."

"At the moment?" Darcy repeated.

"She seems to have connected to some form of energy. At the moment it is protecting her. We are preparing, however, for the instance that it may turn against her?"

Darcy flicked her eyes desperately to Loki, begging him to explain because her mind couldn't understand any of his. He stood facing the barrier, arms folded behind his back.

Her eyes stung with suppressed tears. "She's okay?"

"For now." Frigga confirmed.

"Will you...let me know if anything changes?"

"Of course." Frigga nodded.

"And..." Darcy didn't want to sound too desperate.

"Yes?" Frigga prompted, a knowing smile on her face which implied she already knew the question.

"Can...can Jane visit?" She asked, her voice sounding pathetically hopeful even to her own ears.

Frigga's lips tightened and Darcy felt her stomach sink.

"I am afraid the Allfather has forbidden it."

"The same way he forbids your visits?" Darcy asked, a tad more hostility in her voice than she had intended.

To her surprise Frigga smiled. "I shall try to send a projection."

Darcy grinned. "Thank you!" She would get to see Jane. Jane! Someone other than Frigga and Loki!

There was silence, Darcy marvelling in the fact that she could have her friend visit as awkward silence developed between Frigga and Loki.

After a few moments Loki spoke. "Odin continues to bring me new friends.  _How thoughtful_..." He said, turning back to face them, his self-mocking tone in place.

Darcy looked out the barrier and saw that he was right. In their three months, more and more prisoners arrived. She assumed that meant there were more wars across the nine realms. This time, a group of prisoners were placed in the cell opposite theirs.

Darcy wondered if this was supposed to be part of Loki's punishment from the Allfather: to be with common prisoners.

If it was, it was probably working to annoy him; she doubted his pride could take it.

Frigga looked mournfully at the expression of mocking hatred on Loki's face. She turned instead to the pile of books.

"The books I sent, do they not interest you?" She asked. Darcy knew what she meant, did they interest him rather than something to occupy her with.

"Is that how I'm supposed to while away eternity? Reading?" Loki asked spitefully, so familiar an argument to the one they had had months ago it made Darcy almost nostalgic.

"I've done everything in my power to make you comfortable." Frigga said, gesturing to Darcy.

Loki ignored her reference to Darcy, he had eyes for no one but his mother and they were narrowed in annoyance. "Have you? Does Odin share your concern?" 

He snapped. Frigga said nothing. That was a mistake, you had to argue back or he just kept on going. "Does Thor?" He continued, true to Darcy's predictions.

"It must be so inconvenient for them, asking after me day and night."

"You know full well it was your actions that got you here." Frigga said.

Well Darcy couldn't argue with that one, if Loki hadn't gone all diva none of this would have happened. It would be an appropriate punishment, Darcy thought, locked here for the rest of his life. Or until he showed remorse that was, which amounted to the same thing.

If it weren't for the fact that Odin had seen fit to torture him first.

"My actions?" Loki started angrily before turning his lips into a sneer. "I was merely giving truth to the lie that I've been fed my entire life. That I was born to be a king."

"A king?" Frigga retorted, Darcy was glad to see that she was fighting back. "A true king admits his faults! What of the lives you took on Earth?"

"A mere handful compared to the number that Odin has taken himself."

"Dude!" Darcy protested, angrily. His eyes flickered briefly to her as though only just remembering she was there but then he was back to staring at his mother with defiance.

Frigga looked at him sadly. "Your father-"

"He's not my father!" Loki snapped, sudden hurt filling his voice. Darcy would feel bad for him if he hadn't just tried yet again to defend his attempted world domination.

"Then am I not your mother?" Frigga challenged.

A long, pregnant pause filled the silence. "You're not." Loki muttered at last.

A brief look of hurt flashed on Frigga's face before she smiled.  _Smiling through obvious pain, Loki? And you have the nerve to say she's not your mother?_   _You do the exact same thing!_  Darcy thought.

"Huh." Frigga said. "Always so perceptive about everyone but yourself."

To Darcy's surprise, Loki looked remorseful. She knew he loved Frigga of course but this was one of those rare moments that she saw proof of it.

He stepped towards Frigga, covering the distance he usually so desperately kept and placed his hands on her upturned palms. The moment he touched her she dissolved.

Darcy felt her heart tug. Had he really forgotten she was a projection?

Loki looked down and closed his eyes, clearly affected by what had happened. Darcy had to look away, his own pain and self hatred hurting her too much.

She wanted to shout at him for still blaming everyone else for what he'd done. But he knew he' gone too far. Somehow his own guilt was worse because it was so unnatural. Loki wasn't supposed to feel guilty. That was the one thing he just wasn't supposed to do.

But there he was, guiltily staring at the ceiling, a look of deepest self loathing on his look just made her want to hug him.

He swallowed and lay down on the bed.

Darcy felt like she ought to say something, she needed to. But she couldn't think of anything to help and as she thought desperately for something to say the time for her to speak passed so that if she had it would have been awkward.

She figured the best thing would be to just let it pass. Darcy tried to convince herself that he would forgive himself, apologise to Frigga next time he saw her and move on.

But Loki forgiving himself was even more unlikely as him feeling guilt. Of the few times he'd felt the latter he'd never been able to do the former.

He'd told her about the time he'd let a frost giant into the Allfather's room and Frigga had been hurt. Guilt with no forgiveness.

She remembered another example. When he'd destroyed the bond between them and she'd been hurt, hadn't he spent the whole time afterwards trying to protect her? Trying to make amends?

Lokiiiii, she thought affectionately. Why can't you just be normal?

It was the kind of irritated, annoyed affection that she associated with fictional characters she'd loved on TV and in books. Going through pain again and again.

She supposed it made sense. Loki's life was so painful it could have come straight out of a film.

And she was equally responsible. Because she'd forgiven him for what he'd done. He'd been punished enough, she thought. Forgiving him had allowed her to befriend him and now here she was getting upset over his pain.

 _You're kind of pathetic, Darce, you know that?_  She thought.

_Yeah brain, thanks. Very much aware._

She pulled a book from the pile, trying to read to distract herself. She couldn't focus on the words, they swam on the page and never had Asgardian letters looked so foreign.

When she glanced up, Loki was throwing and catching the cup on the bed absent-mindedly. She watched him for a bit. He always got this eerie beauty about him when he did things like that, slow, peaceful contemplative things. So different to the rash God everyone else knew.

She expected him to make a sarcastic comment about how she should stop watching him but no such comment came.

Suddenly the sound of electricity screeching filled through the cell. Darcy jumped, startled. Loki was on his feet and looking round. Slowly, Darcy got to hers too.

The aliens in the cell opposite them were fighting, one huge scary looking guy with horns was holding the other one's head to the energy shield.

The horned guy dropped the alien he was holding where he hit the floor, dead. The monster one started hitting the barrier.

"Holy shit is he breaking out?" Darcy asked, watching as the energy splintered, cracked and fractured, tumbling away into unnecessary matter.

The monster started smashing the energy barriers on other cells.

Loki was smirking as he watched.

Darcy's heart leaped. Would the monster let them out? Were they finally escaping?

She grinned. It was about time.

The monster walked over to them. Darcy's heartbeat sped rapidly as he approached in anticipation.

He looked not at her but at Loki who was still grinning smugly.

It appeared to consider him as he drew closer. Time seemed to stretch, the seconds dragging by as though they could sense her need for freedom.

And then it left. Darcy stared in shock. She'd been so certain it would let them out.

She looked at Loki to see how he was handling their inability to escape.

To her surprise, he was still smiling.

"You might want to try the staircase to the left." Loki said clearly. The monster paused as though to take in his words and then continued smashing in the other cells.

"You gave it directions out despite it not letting us out?" Darcy demanded. Loki picked up a book and sat on the ledge, opening it to where she'd left off.

"Yes." He said, turning the page and not looking at her.

Her mouth gaped. Did he love mischief that much that he didn't care who caused it as long as it was against Asgard?

"But we could have escaped!" She protested.

"Yes but clearly it did not wish to let us out."

Darcy was struggling to remain calm. Her fingers curled into fists. "You said we had to wait." She snapped. "You said if we waited then an opportunity would come."

"Yes and one did. I'm sure we can wait for the next one." He said calmly.

"We can  _wait_?" She repeated, her voice rising now.

"You are immortal here." He pointed out.

"Immortal or not I don't want to stay here!" She screeched.

Outside chaos was reigning but in here Loki was reading, his eyes finally lifting to her with a disdainful expression. "Is escaping Asgard something that you really wish to risk failing?"

She bit her lip. "No." She admitted.

"And do you not think we could wait for a more subtle moment to make our great escape than in the middle of a prison mob?"

Her eyes flicked to the corridor. She saw Fandral and Volstagg run past, swords swinging.

There was no way that Loki, Asgard's most wanted criminal, would escape now without them noticing. They'd probably make a priority of catching him over everyone else.

And she may be immortal on Asgard but she was no Asgardian . She'd probably get hurt out there. One sway sword stroke and she'd be dead.

"Fine." She said. She felt eyes turn to them, ensuring that they were still in their cell. She sat opposite Loki on the edge, her toes brushing his. It had become a comforting place to her over her time in the cell, like a favourite armchair. Though of course when she'd said she wanted a window seat when she was younger this hadn't quite been what she'd meant.

She narrowed her eyes at Loki. At least the prison break out had cheered him from his guilt over his words to Frigga.

"You know it's a bad sign, don't you?" She said to him. "When the evil alien decides it's better to keep you locked up?"

She saw him smirk over the top of the book. He didn't care what happened out there now. He was just content with the fact Asgard were having trouble.

She sighed and leant her head back against the wall. "One day all this mischief is going to turn on you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from I Predict A Riot by the Kaiser Chiefs. Thanks for reading and leaving kudos and comments.


	37. Into Eternity

It had been two days since Frigga's visit and the prison outbreak. There had been longer gaps between Frigga's visits before but something seemed different out there. The guards looked at them more, occasionally with looks of pity.

She wondered why but the only explanation she could come up with was that they pitied them for not being part of the break out which didn't really make sense, given that they were guarding them.

Darcy just wanted Frigga to come. She'd promised to try and bring Jane with her. She couldn't help worrying that the reason Frigga hadn't visited was because that energy in Jane had got worse.

Surely she would have sent someone to tell her that, though, if she couldn't visit herself? How long did it take to just send a note?

Loki seemed fine, back to his normal self. The guilt or whatever it was from Frigga neatly bottled away and sure to be a problem in the future but she could deal with it then.

"I'm bored." She whined, leaning against the wall.

"I do not know what you expect me to do about that." Loki muttered from beside her.

None of their usual entertainment seemed interesting enough to distract her from worrying about Jane. Asgardian books weren't distracting enough and sex seemed rather inappropriate when her best friend was ill.

"You should think of something because I'm just going to annoy you whining otherwise." She said to him, nudging him with her shoulder.

He sighed. "Next time I'm locked in the dungeons, remind me to ensure I am not with someone so irritating."

She grinned, knowing he wasn't being serious. She recognised his surrender.

"Here." He said, placing an arm round her shoulder.

"Uh I love hugs and everything, Loki, but I was kind of hoping for something a bit more exciting."

She could almost hear his eye roll.

"Close your eyes." He told her.

She smiled. "I didn't mean that kind of exciting, big boy." She joked, complying nonetheless.

"You may open them." He said.

"Well that was quick," She muttered, opening her eyes and immediately grabbing onto Loki. "Holy shit!" They were falling, wind rushing up past her hair as her weight pulled her done.

Around them blue sky and white clouds rushed past.

Loki laughed. "Just an illusion."

Realising she was safe she laughed too with exhilaration. "This is so cool." She said, realising she was still clutching him and doing so slightly less aggressively.

Around them the scene changed and she was floating in space, stars twinkling in every direction. Loki winced.

"What?" She asked, wondering if she'd gripped him to hard.

He shook his head and smiled. "Do not worry."

"No seriously, what?"

"Just believe me when I say that falling through space is not quite as pleasant as this." He said.

"Oh." She replied rather awkwardly, not quite knowing what else to say.

And she was falling again, this time back through the sky. They landed on a cloud, white mist around them. Loki entertained her for a while with coloured lights flashing in every direction like fireworks. The white vapour of the cloud drifted past them like the steam from the showers in the hotel they'd stayed in after Disney.

He was on top of her, she still clutched his arms as she had when they were falling.

He was so close. "Your hair's getting a bit long." Darcy said, her mind addled.

A low laugh escaped his lips. "Is that truly all that you can say." With a wave the illusion was gone and she was back in the cell, her arms still on Loki as she looked up at him.

Before she could do anything, however, he stood up and went to sit over by the ledge of the cell.

"That was amazing." She said, still smiling and unperturbed that he'd left. "Your magic is epic!"

"Yes it does seem to have improved quite a-" Loki paused, his face pulling into a frown. "I can remember magic again...but why would my mother release those memories?"

Darcy shrugged, the knowledge that Loki was back to full power would ordinarily have made her anxious but now she just felt it would help with their breaking out of prison. "You can ask when she visits. Can we do the illusion thing again?"

Loki narrowed his eyes at her. "I was under the impression that entertaining you would then allow me to read."

She smirked and went to sit opposite him, nudging his foot with her toes. "Oh come on you love making me happy."

He returned to the book. "The only thing I am fond of is reading in peace."

She grinned. "You know for a God of Lies you are a very bad liar."

Loki looked up and frowned, not at her but at the energy barrier. Sensing someone was there she turned in that direction and saw an Asgardian watching them.

"Fandral?" Darcy asked.

He nodded at her but turned to Loki, he looked sympathetic.

"I...I thought someone should tell you." He said, his voice sounded cracked and hoarse. Not his usual smooth, flirtatious self. His eyes flicked down before he looked at Loki again. "Queen Frigga passed away two days ago...Her funeral was today."

Darcy's heart gave a painful lurch, knots forming in her stomach. Frigga couldn't be dead. She couldn't.

"Dark elves." Fandral continued. "A Kursed one who was responsible for the prison breakout."

Darcy felt tears prick at her eyes. Frigga was dead. And then she remembered Loki, someone who would be taking Frigga's death a thousand times worse than she was.

She turned to him, her hand going to him, not caring that Fandral was watching and just wanting to comfort him.

He flinched away from her touch.

He gave a short curt nod, eyes on Fandral. "In which case I suggest you remove Miss Lewis from my cell." He said, his words short like his throat was tight.

"What?" She asked in shock but Loki was ignoring her.

"I don't understand." Fandral said, eyebrows furrowed.

"Then allow me to explain," Loki spat, harshness filling each syllable though Darcy could tell he was fighting for control. "My mother placed the binding charm upon us. With her death it will have broken. I have no need of the mortal now. I suggest you remove her or," He turned to her, an expression of disgust on his face that made her flinch. "I will kill her." He said simply.

"What?" She breathed, unable to hide her hurt.

Fandral looked shocked but he reached through the barrier and gripped Darcy's arm.

"Get off!" She shouted at him, fighting back but his grip was too tight. "Let go!"

"I'm sorry, Lady Darcy." Fandral said gently as he pulled her through the barrier.

"Loki!" She screamed, her voice scratching her throat. He was reading again, not even glancing up as she shouted.

"Lady Darcy, please." Fandral begged, pulling her away from his cell.

She couldn't see him. "No," She begged. "No please you can't let him be alone. You can't. Not after that."

Frigga. Dead.

Tears sprung free of her eyes. Frigga who had made sure she was in a cell with Loki. Frigga who had brought her clothes and cleaning products. Frigga who had been the only access she'd had to the outside world.

"I'm sorry but he would kill you." Fandral said.

"He wouldn't." Darcy said, shaking her head. "He wouldn't kill me."

Fandral frowned at her forlornly like she was some stupid kid who didn't understand that their crush was a dick. "I wish I could believe you." He said sadly.

"No please you can't let him...he can't grieve alone." She begged.

"He seemed to handle the death well." Fandral said, glancing back to the cell.

"He's lying! Or acting or whatever you want to call it! Hiding his emotions like he always does!" She shouted.

Fandral gave a final look in the direction of the cell, his hand still clamped tightly around Darcy's wrist. He looked like he desperately wanted to believe that she was telling the truth about Loki.

And it was this that finally made the tears spring free of her eyes. She collapsed against Fandral's chest. Startled, he let go of her wrist and awkwardly patted her on the back.

"Did it hurt?" Darcy asked, her voice thick with tears.

"She..." Fandral started. "No, no it didn't hurt."

He was lying. His pathetic attempt of avoiding the truth made her want to go running back to Loki.

She pulled away from Fandral, wanting to put distance between herself and anyone who wasn't Loki. If she'd been with him she wouldn't be sad now, she'd be pretending to be strong for him. Inadvertently keeping herself together to stop him from falling apart.

Fandral held her wrist again, to make sure she wasn't going to go running back to the cell.

"Please let me go back to him." She begged, her voice barely a whisper.

He shook his head. "I'm sorry, Lady Darcy. Truly, I am."

"He lied." She said. "The bond isn't broken, Frigga wasn't the one that put it there."

To her surprise, Fandral smiled. "I know that is not true. Firstly, we were all told of Thor and the Allmother's hand in Loki's escape when Sif returned from Midgard with news of him. Secondly, had the bond not broken you could not be so far from him right now."

She blinked a few times as his words registered, clearing the tears from her eyes. She looked round. It was true, the dungeon corridor was long. This was the furthest she'd been from Loki since she'd met him. She should be writhing in agony right now.

Proof that Frigga was gone seemed undeniable.

And she missed Loki even more now that the thing that connected them was gone.

"Come," He said, pulling her along gently. "I shall take you to Lady Jane."

"Jane?" Darcy repeated. The word sounded so strange on her lips. Her last three months seemed so separate from the rest of her life that she could hardly fathom how Jane could be a part of this world though of course it was Jane who had introduced her to this madness.

"Yes." Fandral confirmed, leading her up some stairs.

The staircase to the left. The one Loki had told them to take. 'Them' being the people who had killed his mother.

Darcy's heart gave a painful tug and she felt another urge to run back to him. He'd blame himself. Of course he would.

She could only imagine what he'd do. She pictured him tearing at the walls, his nails bleeding raw as he tried to escape. Or creating projections of Frigga, making them scream at him, desperate to be punished for her death. Or clawing at his own skin in desperation to transform that mental pain to physical.

She imagined him doing all of this so clearly that it made her want to cry again.

But then...he'd sent her away. And if he was doing all that then maybe she'd understand why he sent her away; he didn't want to show the weakness of grief but knew he would be unable to hide it. So why was he just reading like none of it bothered him? Why send her away if he was just going to act normal?

She felt the sudden urge to laugh. The one person who could answer her questions was the very one she was being marched away from.

 _He'll be okay_ , she told herself,  _he's been through worse._

But even so she didn't know if she believed that.

 _Oh God_ , she thought desperately,  _hasn't he been through enough?_

"She has been confined to her rooms." Fandral said, guiding her through more halls, his grip on her hand not lessening.

"Oh yeah Jane's here a day and gets rooms but after three months I'm still in the dungeons." Darcy muttered but it sounded bitter rather than jokey even to her own ears.

Fandral gave her a strange look as though trying to determine if she was joking or not.

The halls were gold, decorated with art and tapestries. She wished she could admire them given that she'd been blindfolded last time but she barely even registered them as she walked past.

"I shall let Jane explain the nature of her situation." He decided.

Darcy nodded simply.

"Come, Darcy." He smiled, a mere shadow of his old confident smile. Apparently grief over Frigga's death was not confined to just her or Loki. Somehow instead of uniting them it just made her feel even more isolated. "You must at least be happy to be free of the cells."

Darcy didn't dignify that with a response. This was really not how she expected to be freed. With the loss of Frigga and a death threat from Loki.

They were fairly high up now; Darcy could see most of the city out of the windows. Night. It was night. The city was filled with long shadows and silver moon light.

Had Frigga's funeral been earlier? During the day? Or had they specifically waited for night? Had Fandral come straight from the ceremony?

Darcy had so many questions but no energy to ask them.

Up ahead, one of the rooms had two guards standing outside. They wore gold armour and helmets like they were expecting an attack. Darcy couldn't help but throw them a dirty glare as she approached. She could only link them in her mind with the day she'd been arrested, their tight grip leaving bruises before they'd chained her, resulting in cuts.

Fandral nodded to the guards. "The Lady Darcy is to join the Lady Jane."

The guards looked at each other. "Is the Allfather aware of this?" One asked.

"No. I am on my way to tell him now. Loki threatened her life, I assumed it better to move her than risk her dying." The guards looked sceptical so Fandral smiled and added: "Unless of course you don't believe you can guard two mortals."

Immediately both guards straightened up a little more. Darcy rolled her eyes, not even trying to hide it.

"We can guard the mortal." One said. The other nodded.

Fandral nodded. "I thought as much." He turned to Darcy. "I must leave to inform the Allfather." He said, walking to the door and pushing it open for her.

"Farewell." His hand on her wrist pulled hers up and he brushed his lips gently against it.

Startled, Darcy did nothing but watch as Fandral walked back down the corridor.

The guards were watching her so she decided she had no choice but to enter the room. And, the part of her that wasn't crying over Frigga or worrying for Loki really wanted to see Jane.

The room was huge. A plush carpet tickled her bare feet and made her aware of just how cold the floor in the halls had been. She realised she'd left her boots in the cell.

Everything was red and gold. Thick red curtains were pulled across the two windows opposite her. The furniture was dark brown wood and in the centre of the room stood an island of a bed, a red quilt embroidered with gold thrown over it and swimming in the pillows the collapsed figure of Jane.

Darcy wondered whether Thor's colour scheme had been used on purpose.

She took another step into the room, unsure of whether or not Jane was sleeping because she was lying face down.

As she stepped however, Jane's voice called out. "For the last time, I do not need a handmaiden to help me get ready for bed. I am perfectly capable of doing it myself."

"Well, honey, I'm proud for you and everything but I didn't come to offer my handmaidenly services." Darcy retorted, the edge gone from her voice. Jane, she was actually seeing Jane.

Jane jumped a foot like she'd been electrocuted, rolling over on the bed so that she was sat up and looking in her direction. Her eyes scanned her in confusion, starting at her unnaturally curly hair and falling to her dress which Darcy realised was the purple one she'd first worn.

Frigga had taken her clothes when she visited and returned them clean. Darcy had wished she'd been able to do that with her jeans and jumper but supposed Asgardian wear was easier to slip in with the washing.

The thought of this made her smile sadly. Frigga had been so good.

"Darcy?" Jane asked in shock.

"Yeah well don't be too surprised." Darcy said. "You don't exactly look like the Jane I know either. What happened to your sneakers and flannel shirts?" Jane too was in Asgardian dress: a draped blue dress, gold cuffs and plating and a lighter blue shawl. Where Darcy looked like a kid playing dress up- unless you asked Loki who apparently quite liked her Asgardian clothes- Jane looked every bit the Asgardian princess.

"Oh my God, Darcy!" Jane grinned, running over to her.

Darcy opened her arms, expecting Jane's bone crushing hug. Instead she stopped suddenly, glancing at Darcy with slight trepidation.

"Uh...I'm sorry I probably shouldn't."

"Oh..." Darcy said, lowering her arms. "Well yeah it's probably best, I've spent three months in dungeons, I probably stink."

"Three months in dungeons?" Jane asked, her hand going to her mouth in shock.

"Well yeah." Darcy said. "What? Did you think King Odin had sent Loki and I on holiday or something?"

Jane teetered on the edge of saying something else. "I think we have a lot to talk about." She said. "Sit down."

Darcy went and sat on the bed. It sank beneath her, startling her. It had been so long since Darcy had sat on something so soft that it shocked her. She wondered how she'd cope with a hot shower.

Jane sat on the other side, the bed bigger than Darcy's room back home.

She wondered if all the rooms had beds this big, thinking of Loki and how much fun that would be. Her stomach twisted and it took Darcy a second to realise why.  _Loki. Ah fuck, can I not even fantasise about sex without imagining him crying in the dungeons?_

Okay, that too sounded slightly kinky.

_For fuck's sake Darcy, his mom just died can you not be appropriate?  
_

_Being inappropriate is how I cope_ , she thought but remembering Frigga did sober her from these thoughts.

"Okay," Jane said. "You first. Everything that's happened since I last saw you."

So Darcy told her: about Loki taking her to Disneyland for her birthday, about coming back and being dragged o Asgard, about her 'trial' with Odin, her chat with Frigga, being able to share Loki's cell, Frigga's visits and the prison break out right up until when Fandral had come.

At Frigga's name Jane had started blinking back tears and Darcy wondered if she'd been shown the motherly treatment for dating Thor as Darcy had received for fucking Loki. Probably, she decided. Frigga wasn't the Allmother for nothing, unlike her worthless husband who locked mortals up.

"He threatened to kill you?" Jane asked at the end.

Darcy shrugged and looked down. "I think he was just trying to get me out so he could be alone, you know? To...cope."

Darcy expected Jane to protest and say that Loki really did intend on killing her. To her surprise she nodded instead. "And the bond between you is broken? Like permanently?"

"Yeah." Darcy confirmed. "I think so." She thought of Loki's magic. How he'd said he could remember. Was that too because Frigga was gone? She supposed so.

"It's my fault." Jane said after a moment's pause. "Frigga died protecting me."

"I'm sure that's not true." Darcy protested. "But I believe it's your turn to share either way."

Jane pushed back her hair absent-mindedly. "From when you left? Okay well I woke up to SHIELD agents swarming the house saying that you and Loki had disappeared. They found the note he left and went ape shit. I think they put the entire company on the task of finding you but oddly no one thought that mass murdering Loki would be taking a nice little trip to Disneyland."

Darcy looked at her in shock. Since when was Jane sarcastic? Jane smiled. "What? I missed you, okay? Someone had to fill the sarcastic hole in my life that you left. Anyway, about halfway through the day all these Asgardians turn up, saying that they managed to trace that bridge we made back to New Mexico and assumed Loki was there so I tried phoning you but your phone was off and anyway we didn't see you come back but on camera you and Loki just kind of flicker and then immediately afterwards the bifrost appears and you're both gone.

"Then SHIELD managed to trace where you'd been by some picture the rollercoasters had taken." Darcy felt the keyring which she'd tied to a string on the inside of the dress press against her skin. "So I went to England because I figured the only way to get you back was to build another bridge and that seemed to be the only way to do it.

"Only I was supposed to meet Erik out there but he never showed up and we kind of needed his research to progress beyond the prototype form of the bridge. So my intern and I-"

"Wait," Darcy interrupted. "You got a new intern?"

"Yeah, his name's Ian. He's British. You'll like him, the kind of guy you'd date for a few weeks before you got bored."

"Yeah okay but a new intern?" Darcy felt slightly hurt. She may be Jane's assistant now but intern was still a title that she felt was hers.

"I needed help!" Jane replied. "It was all to get you back. Well and to get Thor too but still. So I put ads in local universities. I even managed to get an actual science student this time."

Darcy tried to raise an eyebrow in imitation of Loki's disbelieving look and instead both eyebrows tugged up.

Jane blushed. "Not saying he's better than you. I mean sciencewise yeah but his coffee is vile. He insists on tea instead. And it's always breakfast tea. I asked for green tea once and he gave me a look of confusion and returned with breakfast tea with food colouring in and yes I am aware that I'm rambling. Okay so where was I? Oh right, England. Okay so we did a load of research.

"We still didn't manage to track Selvig down but with luck maybe Ian will have that sorted by the time we return. And we tracked down the perfect place to run the bridge because gravitational forces were acting weird so we went to check it out and ended up in this big abandoned truck warehouse or something.

"And these weird gravitational fields had appeared like warp holes. Scientifically impossible stuff. So I was walking along, tracing the source of it and suddenly I was in this room. There was this stone memorial or something and all this reddish light but it was like in tiny balls or something, I don't know it's hard to explain so I went to look at it and the moment I touched it-"

"Oh yeah, of course you touched the weird red light. Not like you've learned in this job to phone straight for SHIELD or anything. No, you just had to touch it. For science I'm sure." Darcy muttered, realising how much she'd missed Jane's eccentric science excuses.

"Anyway I touched it and it kind of went inside me and I blacked out for a few hours. And then I went outside and Ian was panicking and to be honest I really missed your comments because I could have used some humour then. I was kind of scared."

Jane paused, wincing. Her skin glowed faintly red.

"Holy shit!" Darcy yelled, leaning across the bed, completely unsure of what to do.

The light faded and Jane opened her eyes. "I'm fine."

"That is so not fine!" Darcy said. "That's like...world's worst sunburn."

Jane laughed. "I'll get to that. Anyway so I came out of the building and it was raining everywhere except for where I was and then Thor was there."

"Thor?"

"Yeah, you know that guy from Asgard who you tased and also happens to be my boyfriend." Jane explained.

"I know who Thor is." Darcy replied with a smile. "I just meant what was he doing on Earth?"

"Apparently Heimdall had been watching and then couldn't see me or whatever and sent Thor. So I started shouting at him asking him where he'd been, you know, four months after he'd said he'd come back and everything and to be honest I was a little sick of hearing 'I'll come back for you' so I slapped him and-"

"I love how casually you mention slapping the God of Thunder."

"I also hit him with my car once."

"Twice." Darcy corrected.

"Okay fine twice. I don't know. All of this seems so normal and so weird all at once." She said gesturing round the rooms. Darcy knew how she felt. It was like how she did waking up in Loki's arms a week after being imprisoned and not thinking anything weird about it.

"So yeah he brought me back to Asgard for medical tests because of that weird red light thing. It was so cool actually, they put me in a, well  _they_  call it a Soul Forge but it's actually a Quantum Field Generator."

"Yeah, Soul Forge makes more sense to me." Darcy replied.

"And they found that this energy was inside me. It's called the Aether and apparently it has the power to destroy the universe. It transforms matter into dark matter and that must be magic because scientifically I can't wrap my head around it. Whatever it is, it kind of latched onto me and it protects me, like if someone attacked me it would attack them back...but it's also kind of draining me. Thor doesn't know how long I'll be able to last." The room filled with silence. Jane was dying? But this was Asgard. Surely they could just magic it better?

"Anyway this Aether thing used to belong to this race called the Dark Elves. It was their weapon and when the Asgardians defeated them centuries ago they buried it. Only I kind of walked into that chamber and now the Dark Elves can sense it."

"But how?" Darcy asked, putting all thoughts of the effects of the Aether from her mind for now. "I mean, why you? The Aether's been locked up all this time and you just stumble into the cavern where it's been hidden? What are the chances of it being you, one of the only people with a connection to Asgard?"

Jane smiled. "Believe me, I've been asking the 'why me?' question too. The realms are aligning, it's really rare. And it kind of causes gravitational disruptions in Yddrasil which basically opens portals into other realms, completely randomly.

"So the one into the Aether's chamber just purely by chance opened into London. Maybe it's opened in other places as well, more rural or uninhabitable places. Either way it latched onto the most powerful person there."

Darcy gave Jane's five foot three frame a sceptical look. She was smaller than Darcy and that wasn't even taking weight into consideration.

Jane laughed, evidently aware of what Darcy was thinking. "I don't mean like that. It's just like you said, I've had access to Asgardians." Jane ignored Darcy's suggestive look at that sentence. "And exposure to the Bifrost and Einstein Rosen Bridges so I was the most powerful, magically at least, in London. I'm sure if the gravitational disruption had happened in New York or something then it would be Tony Stark dealing with the Aether right now and not me."

Darcy nodded, still trying to understand how so much had managed to happen while she'd been in the dungeons. She'd felt so removed from time down there but apparently it had kept passing for everyone else.

"Anyway they were doing medical tests and then Odin comes in and...well he's not too happy about a mortal being on Asgard."

"Hypocrite." Darcy muttered.

Jane's lips twitched but other than that she ignored the comment. "But then Thor told him about the Aether and...well he didn't really have a choice about letting me stay. I spent a lot of time with Frigga, she's lovely. I mean, was. Oh God I can't believe she's dead. It's all my fault."

"How is it your fault, Jane?" Darcy asked.

"I...the Dark Elves came. Apparently they sent one, a Kursed, into the dungeons and it escaped and then more elves came. They wanted the Aether so Frigga told me to hide and that she'd distract them and she created a projection of me and they found her and she refused to tell them where I was so..." Her voice broke and Darcy looked away, feeling like she was intruding on Jane's pain. "They killed her." She finished in a whisper.

"And no one...no one thought to tell Loki of this?" Darcy asked, wondering how it took them two days, until after her funeral, to think to tell her son. And it was Fandral. Where the hell had Thor been?

"Thor...he's so upset. I don't think he wants to talk to Loki over it because as far as he's concerned he doesn't deserve it. Isn't capable of loving her or missing her."

"Bullshit." Darcy replied. "Loki's done some major crap but Thor has to stop ignoring him completely. He loves Thor, whatever he says and if Thor doesn't start talking to him soon...well Loki'll go to any lengths to get his brother's attention. He doesn't particularly care why he gets that attention either."

"I know but how do you tell someone they have to visit and grieve with their brother who's tried to kill them countless times?" Jane said.

"From the stories Loki told me he used to put up with a lot of shit that Thor did. He was exiled to Earth for a reason. And there's a reason Loki's so jealous of him." Darcy said. She liked Thor, she did but she was finding it hard to feel anything but animosity towards him given that he hadn't helped her leave the cells.

Jane shook her head, eyes looking up. "I can't with this, Darcy. I'm sorry. I can't forgive him like you did. I can't...believe better of him."

"You can't believe better of him? He's currently breaking down over the death of his mother and you want to tell me he can't love or feel pain?" Darcy asked, suddenly annoyed. What did Jane know about Loki? Had she been locked in a dungeon with him for three months?

Jane's eyes were cast downward. Darcy knew she didn't want to believe what she was saying. "She said she knew you." Jane said after a few moments of pointed silence. "Frigga, that is."

Darcy nodded. "She made sure Loki and I were in a cell together rather than alone. She used to visit us as well. She was the only one I spoke to in all that time apart from Loki. And she brought me clothes and toiletries, even brought us food sometimes because...well let's just say there wasn't a lot of it down there and it wasn't the nicest food in the world."

And now Frigga was gone? Darcy pulled her knees up to her chest and hugged her arms around them. She realised belatedly that her cheeks were damp and wiped the tears from them hurriedly.

She felt somehow apart from her grief because no matter how much she missed Frigga it was so much worse for Loki.

She had a thousand questions for Jane but she wanted to be alone. Guilt twisted her insides. She'd waited so long to see her and now she just wished that she would leave.

She turned her back on her, lying down on the huge bed. Jane didn't say anything else, just blew out the candles beside the bed and buried herself under the covers.

Darcy ended up on the floor, there was plenty of room on the bed but after months of the unyielding mattress in the dungeons she found herself more comfortable on the carpet. She didn't know how long she stayed awake for but eventually she fell asleep, hoping that Loki might be able to do the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from the Thor: The Dark World soundtrack, the song that played during Frigga's funeral. It seemed to perfect to change. God that was a long chapter but hopefully it'll act as an apology for this: I got my exam timetable last week which means I'm revising from here on out. My aim is to update once a week, probably on a Tuesday but I may do more or less depending on circumstance. Sorry. Thank you all for reading and leaving comments and kudos though, it means a lot.


	38. Ash And Dust

Darcy woke with a start. Something was wrong. She sat up, coated in a cold sweat and looked frantically round the room.

It took her a moment to realise that it was simply the absence of Loki lying beside her that had thrown her.

She was on the carpet in Jane's chambers in Asgard. The room was dark, the curtains still pulled and no candles or lanterns lit.

Jane was asleep on the bed, her deep breathing filling the room.

Darcy clambered up, not wanting to remain on the floor and not wanting to wake Jane up either. Instead she headed for a door in the wall.

Opening it she found a huge bathroom. In the centre was a bath the size of a small swimming pool, set deep within the floor and glinting with gold taps, a dozen differently coloured bottles on the edge. Fluffy towels sat in a pile on the edge. The floor beneath Darcy's bare feet was marble but pleasantly warm.

Darcy shut the door behind her. A bathroom. An actual bathroom. Not a water jug over a drain with projected walls.

She beamed at it all like she'd never seen anything like it before. She would have been happy with a trickling shower with rusty water and instead she got a spa.

Before she knew it she was filling the tub, the taps pumping steaming water and filling the huge tub in a surprisingly short time. She stripped, folding the clothes neatly in a pile, treating them with the respect a gift from Frigga deserved and climbed into the bath.

The hot water burned her skin pleasantly. Darcy always liked hot showers but she hadn't realised just how much she'd missed them. She buried her head under the water. The floor was sloped but Darcy swam anyway, the water carrying away whatever of the dungeons she carried with her. It felt like rebirth.

She grabbed one of the bottles from the side- a green one with gold swirls- and used it as soap to scrub her skin raw. She showered every day in the dungeon but it never made her feel clean, just slightly less dirty.

She even found a vial of the orange stuff Frigga brought her for her hair and rubbed it so hard into her scalp that it began to sting.

After so long spent in it, the water had cooled to room temperature, Darcy climbed out. After she'd dried off she dressed back into the purple dress and laced the metal back up. The key ring from Disneyland fell out and she stared at it.

They looked so young and innocent. Even Loki and "innocent" just should not have been a word anyone ever associated with him. Her heart tugged.

 _Loki, please be okay_ , she prayed.

She strung the key-ring back inside her dress and walked into the bedroom. Jane was sat on the bed looking exhausted. Maybe the Aether was draining her?

"You were gone for ages." She said when Darcy entered. Even her voice sounded tired. The curtains were drawn back and in the morning sunlight she looked awfully pale.

"Sunlight!" Darcy yelled, running over to the window. She felt it hit her skin, it didn't feel quite how she remembered it but that might just have been because it was some other star. She let it wash over her for a few seconds before remembering Jane. "Oh right, yeah well you had a bathroom and I got excited because there wasn't one in the dungeons."

She turned and saw Jane watching her, a sad expression on her face.

"Are you okay?" Darcy asked. Jane's lips twitched with concern into a thin line.

"There were no bathrooms?" She asked.

"No." Darcy replied, leaning back against the sunlight and smiling. "I had to shower with this magic jug. It refilled with water."

Jane continued looking at her with sympathy. Darcy felt awkward; it wasn't  _that_  bad, was it?

"And sunlight?" Jane ventured.

Darcy laughed. "Yeah for some reason it was absent in the dungeons." She looked round the room, remembering what Fandral had said about Jane being confined to chambers. Apparently she was fucking the wrong brother because Jane's accommodation was a lot nicer than hers. "Fandral said you were locked in here."

Jane nodded, glancing at the door. "They think the Dark Elves will come back for the Aether. Odin wants me to stay and set the might of Asgard against them..."

"But?" Darcy prompted.

"But Thor wants to protect his people. And he wants the Aether out of me before it...gets worse. He thinks it would be better to take me to the Dark Elves, have them remove the Aether and while it's not in a host it'll be easier to destroy."

"But the Asgardians all those years ago couldn't destroy it? They just had to bury it? What makes him think he'll be able to?"

Jane shrugged. "He has Mjolnir. I don't think Asgard has ever had a weapon so powerful. I don't know if it'll work but it  _is_  the best chance we have of destroying it."

"So Odin locked you up to stop Thor leaving with the Aether?" Darcy asked.

Jane nodded.

Darcy looked at her friend. The idea of some energy living in her was beyond disturbing. "Jesus, Jane." Darcy sighed. "I get arrested and you have to go and one up me by channelling some other worldly force."

Jane started to laugh but she lurched sideways suddenly, as though she'd fallen over. Darcy reached out to stop her but Jane jumped back frantically.

"NO!" She shouted staring at Darcy's outstretched hand in fear. She lifted her eyes directly to Darcy's, her brown meeting Darcy's blue. "D-d-don't touch me. I mean it, Darce. You'll get injured...I-I can't control it and...and if I hurt you." Her eyes were filling with tears.

"Woah, okay." Darcy said. "No touchy. It's fine Jane, you're fine."

Jane still looked scared.

The door opened and a guard walked in with food.

"I'm not hungry." Jane said shakily, still clearly distraught.

Darcy was watching Jane warily so she didn't see what made the sudden sound of something heavy hitting metal.

Her head snapped up and she saw Sif standing over the crumpled form of the guard delivering breakfast. He was wearing a helmet so she doubted he was dead.

"Good." Sif said urgency in her voice as she flipped her sword. "Let's go." Her eyes flicked to Darcy. "Both of you." She added and turned.

Darcy looked at Jane in alarm and then both scrambled to their feet and ran after the warrior, trying not to trip over the hems of their dresses.

Sif was striding down the hall, her sword swinging with each step.

"What's happening?" Jane asked as they caught up with her. Darcy and Jane were both short and Sif was tall so Darcy was feeling a mix of intimidation and awe in the face of the war Goddess.

"I am breaking you out of your confinement or was that not obvious enough?" Sif asked a hint of irritation to her voice.

Darcy had got the sense when she'd visited Thor a few years ago that she didn't like Jane very much. Apparently she also didn't like defying the Allfather for her. She must have been extremely loyal to Thor to go against the king for Jane.

"How?" Jane asked.

They'd reached the end of the hall where two more guards stood. They turned as they saw them coming, reaching for the swords but Sif's blade was a flash of silver in the air. They hit the floor and the women kept walking.

"I am getting you two." Sif explained. "Thor is busy getting Loki out of the dungeons."

"Loki?" Darcy asked, her heart skipping a beat. He was part of their escape plan?

Sif's nose crinkled with distaste. "Unfortunately he is necessary to escape without detection. Though I doubt he will consent to Thor's plan."

"To go to the Dark Elves?" Darcy asked.

"Yes." Sif confirmed.

"The ones that killed Frigga?"

"Yes."

"He'll come." Darcy said.

"I hope for all our sakes you're right." Sif said, taking down two more guards. "If you do not escape successfully we'll all be for the axe for treason."

"What do you need him for?" Darcy asked.

"He is the only one who knows undetectable routes out of the realm." Sif said, her voice firm making it clear that she wanted no more questions about Loki.

Given that she was breaking them out of Asgard, Darcy was happy to oblige.

They rounded the corner and Darcy saw them, Thor and Loki walking side by side down the hall.

"Thor!" Jane yelled running up to him. He was wearing a poncho for some reason.

Darcy hesitated, watching Loki approach. She wanted nothing more than to throw her arms around him but he wouldn't appreciate that in front of people. And besides, the last time she'd seen him he'd kind of threatened to kill her.

He was wearing leather again. God she'd missed it though it did made him look even skinnier. There hadn't been a lot of food in the dungeon but she hadn't lost any weight so she could only assume it was at least nutritious. Loki, however, looked more stick like than ever. His hair reached his shoulders and she wondered how she hadn't noticed before just how long it had gotten. It was straggly and knotted, a way it certainly hadn't been when she'd last seen him.

He was in front of her. Her stomach twisted. She waited for him to say something but apparently he didn't know where they stood either.

What was the point in asking if he was okay, anyway, when she knew full well that he wasn't?

"Well it's about time, Frost Brain." She managed to choke out. "What kind of time do you call this?"

She saw relief in his eyes and she couldn't take it anymore. After all, she wasn't used to not being impulsive. She flung her hands around his neck but his hands didn't move around her. Nonetheless she breathed in his leather like a long lost friend.

When she pulled away she saw the explanation for why he hadn't hugged her. His hands were in manacles again. Sif hadn't said anything about handcuffing him again.

"What did he do?" Darcy asked Thor, looking at the handcuffs.

"Nothing." Loki said.

"His usual tricks." Thor said at the same time, throwing an annoyed look at his brother. Darcy saw he was supporting Jane with his arm round her waist. She looked more exhausted than ever.

"I did nothing." Loki assured her.

"You're still talking." Thor said pointedly. "So I can only assume the shackles did not serve their purpose."

"Maybe you need another one of those muzzles." Darcy said with a grin. Loki glared at her.

"Are we not supposed to be escaping?" Jane asked, her voice barely louder than a whisper.

"Right," Thor looked at her doubtfully before sweeping her into her arms.

A distant sound of footsteps could be heard running toward them.

"Go," Sif said, looking only at Thor. "I'll hold them off."

Thor nodded and turned to walk.

Darcy started to follow but a sudden glint of silver out of the corner of her eye made her pause.

She turned to see Sif with her sword at Loki's neck. He arched it and smiled at her, a grin that Darcy often wanted to smack off so she commended Sif on not slitting his throat for it.

"Betray him and I'll kill you." She hissed.

Loki laughed. "It's good to see you too, Sif." He grinned.

Sif glared at him and slowly lowered her sword before running in the distance of the approaching footsteps.

Darcy shook her head in exasperation at Loki.

"Problem?" He asked, mock politely. She pulled his arm and started running towards Thor and Jane.

"You practically got off on that." She said.

"She had a sword to my throat." Loki said as though this would make her statement false.

Darcy closed her eyes to prevent from rolling them. She thought of the way he'd arched his neck. "Dude you were fucking presenting."

"Are you jealous, Darcy?" He smirked.

They'd caught up with Jane and Thor. Apparently so had Volstagg because the bearded warrior was now with them.

"You know what." She told Loki. "This might not be the best place to discuss your weird kinks."

They ran down the hall, more footsteps coming up from behind so Darcy assumed there'd been too many guards for Sif to hold off.

They were in the throne room. It wasn't as Darcy remembered it. Only half of the pillars still stood, the rest were crumpled to rubble. The throne was empty and in the middle of the room stood a huge outer spacey ship.

"We're escaping in that?" She asked.

Loki looked at it disbelievingly then at Thor. "He always goes for the subtle option."

Darcy shook her head and ran towards the ship but before they were even half way across the room, guards spilled in through the doorway.

"I'll buy you some time!" Volstagg called.

He too, however, turned and stopped Loki from walking, his muscular hand on Loki's chest.

"If you even think about betraying him-" He started.

"You'll kill me?" Loki frowned as though considering before smiling. "Evidently there will be a line."

And then Volstagg was gone and they were running for the ship again.

"You know," Darcy told him. "If they kill you, it's your own fault."

Loki looked offended. "It's almost as though no one trusts me."

She shook her head and tried not to laugh. "God, you just make friends wherever you go, don't you?"

Jane stood in the back of the ship looking exhausted. Thor was staring at the buttons helplessly.

A crash sounded outside and Thor started desperately pressing random buttons, unsure of what he was doing.

"I thought you said you knew how to fly this thing." Loki said, walking over to stand by his brother. Darcy joined Jane in the back.

"I said 'how hard could it be?'" Thor retorted. The inside of the ship looked just as high tech and confusing as the outside, Darcy felt like she'd walked into a sci-fi film.

Another crash sounded outside and Loki looked out the window. Darcy turned too and saw Volstagg attacking the guards.

"They're on the ship!" Loki said, glaring at Thor who continued to whack random buttons. "Well, whatever you're doing, brother, I suggest you do it faster."

"Shut up, Loki." Thor said. Loki continued to look on in annoyance.

Darcy turned to Jane. "Are you okay?"

Jane smiled weakly. "I've felt better."

Darcy flicked her gaze anxiously outside again. Volstagg continued to battle. He was ridiculously good.

Thor was still frantically pressing every button. What if he couldn't do it? He didn't look like he could. Would it really be like Sif said? The axe for all of them?

Jane swayed on her feet. Darcy pressed her lips together in determination. Well if they were going to do die it might as well be trying to save Jane from this Aether thing.

"You must have missed something." Loki said reasonably.

"I didn't, I'm pressing every button on this thing." Thor said. Darcy had to admit he had a point.

"No, don't hit it, just press it gently." Loki said, reaching out his handcuffed hands as though trying to calm Thor.

"I AM PRESSING IT GENTLY." He roared, slamming the buttons harder than ever. "IT'S NOT WORKING!"

Suddenly the ship lit up, the lights red and blue. She felt a slight vibration under her feet as the engine came to life.

Thor laughed, his loud laugh filling the small space. Darcy felt suddenly hopeful as she felt the ship start to rise. She looked out and saw the wings were spinning like a helicopter.

They jolted forwards, the wings slicing into the few remaining columns.

Loki sighed in agitation. "I think you missed a column."

"Shut up!" Thor snapped.

With a crash they shot through the wall. The floor beneath her lurched and Darcy clung to the edge to stop from falling over. The ship was spinning and Darcy felt like she was going to be sick.

"Look, why don't you let me take over, I'm clearly the best pilot." Loki suggested. Darcy kind of hoped Thor agreed because his flying was nauseating.

"Is that right?" He asked, a hint of humour in his voice as he tapped the buttons. "Well, out of the two of us, which one can actually fly?"

 _Yeah by throwing your hammer,_  Darcy thought,  _clearly that does not transfer to great ship piloting_. And Loki had flown those Chitauri things so she had a lot more faith in him.

Before she could say anything, Jane collapsed.

"Oh, dear." Loki said sardonically, without turning around. "Is she dead?"

Darcy ran to her best friend, too busy making sure she was alive to shout at Loki but hoping that Thor hit him or something. Then hoping that Loki hit him back because she was still pissed with Thor too. Stupid Asgardian princes.

"Jane!" Thor called. Darcy's hand closed on Jane's wrist. She was burning up.

The ship lurched as Thor's attention was drawn away from flying.

Jane raised her head, looking weak. Darcy had never seen her so pale. She made Loki look tanned.

"I'm okay." She whispered.

They continued to soar through the air. Suddenly the ship hit a massive building, tearing part of it off and sending it crashing to the ground. They all jolted at the impact.

"Not a word." Thor said to Loki who had obviously opened his mouth to make a sarcastic comment.

"Don't touch me." Jane whispered to Darcy.

"Screw that." Darcy said, one hand clutching the wall, the other still enclosed on Jane's wrist. "I'm practically your seatbelt right now and with Thor flying you need one."

"Now they're following us." Loki said, annoyed. Darcy hoped he wasn't talking about Asgardians. Maybe he meant some pigeons or something. Suddenly the ship started rolling from side to side like Thor was dodging something. Darcy held onto Jane tighter. "Now they're firing at us!" Okay definitely not pigeons then.

"Yeah, thank you for the commentary, Loki!" Thor shouted. "It's not at all distracting!"

Darcy looked up to see what was happening just in time for the ship to hit a massive stone statue of some king, slicing the head clean off as they flung themselves into a cavern.

"Well done, you just decapitated your grandfather." Loki said with a grin.

"Are you sure you don't have any of those muzzles?" Darcy asked desperately. She was worried for Jane and Loki was  _so_  not helping.

Thor laughed but didn't reply. She looked up, the smaller ship still following them.

"You know, this is wonderful. This is a tremendous idea." Loki said with levels of sarcasm Darcy didn't think possible. "Let's steal the biggest, most obvious ship in the universe and escape, flying around the city, smashing into everything in sight so everyone can see us. It's brilliant, Thor! It's truly brilliant!"

Darcy lifted her head to yell at him to shut up in time to see Thor push him out of the door. Darcy's mouth gaped open, had Thor seriously just thrown Loki off the ship? He was annoying, yeah but didn't they kind of need him?

He laughed at her expression as he turned and walked to her. The ship shuddered as no one steered it.

"Worry not," He said. "Irritating though he is, I require his use yet."

He picked up Jane like she weighed nothing and placed his other hand on Darcy's arm. His hands were so much bigger than Loki's.

He guided her to the door and before she could prepare, he jumped, taking her and Jane with him.

Their combined weight was considerably more than Loki's so they fell faster, wind whipping past her and reminding her of the illusion that Loki had conjured in his cell.

Her feet landed with a slam, Thor's flying skills meaning that it didn't hurt too much though she did feel the impact rattle her skull.

They landed a split second after Loki and watched as he stumbled, no brother who could fly helping him and his hands still shackled so that he couldn't use them to balance himself.

Darcy looked round. They appeared to be on a smaller ship. She saw the one they'd just been on crash into a building with no one left to fly it.

"I see your time in the dungeons has made you no less graceful, Loki." Fandral called jovially.

Darcy looked and saw he was the one flying their new smaller ship. Loki ignored him but Darcy smiled. Everyone else had threatened to kill him if he betrayed Thor but Fandral just mocked his landing after he was thrown out of a moving ship.

"You lied to me." Loki said to Thor who was laying Jane down at the back of the ship. Loki frowned as though considering this. "I'm impressed."

"I'm glad you're pleased." Thor said irritably. "Now do as you promised. Take us to your secret pathway."

Loki smiled and moved over to where Fandral was stood, taking the steering from him. Apparently the manacles didn't prevent him from steering the ship. Now that Loki was still she saw that the chains had runes inscribed on them. She attempted to decipher them. 'He who wields this hammer commands.'

She bit her lip as she tried not to laugh. Loki had to wear cuffs which essentially said "Thor's bitch" on them?

The ship became considerably smoother as Loki flew so Darcy turned her attention back to Jane. Thor had draped a blanket over her and she looked like she was sleeping.

The ship swerved suddenly. Loki had apparently just dodged a hit from the Asgardian ships which had started firing at them again.

Darcy looked at Thor panicked and he in turn looked at Fandral.

"Fandral." He nodded.

"Right." Fandral replied, picking up a rope and stepping on the edge of the ship.

"For Asgard." He said and jumped off, using the rope to swing onto the Asgardian ship following them.

Darcy's jaw dropped. He may have been a show off but apparently he had good reason to be.

"Nothing personal, boys!" She heard Fandral call as he knocked out the three guards on the ship before saluting Thor.

He was gone in a second, Loki steering them over water, the ship skimming the surface and throwing up spray.

Ahead was a pile of mountains rising directly from the water. Loki was heading straight towards it.

"Loki!" Thor warned, clearly noticing.

"If it were easy, everyone would do it." Loki replied, pushing the lever down. His hair was flying across his face which somehow made his manic grin worse.

"Dude!" Darcy called in warning.

"Are you mad?" Thor shouted.

"Possibly." Loki replied, staring intently forwards.

 _Definitely_ , Darcy answered for him.

She looked at Thor, hoping he'd knock Loki out and steer them somewhere that wasn't a mountain side.

He walked past her and held onto Jane.

Apparently he trusted Loki not to ram them into the mountain side. Darcy wasn't so sure.

She squeezed her eyes shut as they approached. They were going to hit it. She tried to prepare herself for the feeling of being smashed against rock but given that it would be a completely new sensation she didn't get very far.

She squinted her eyes open. They would hit it in three...two...one...

And they were through, Loki having steered into a tiny crack in the mountain wall. They were in the mountain and then Darcy felt like all the air had been sucked from her lungs.

She gasped and realised she wasn't breathing the air of Asgard. It was more bitter, everything acidic, the smell of charcoal overwhelming.

They crashed out of a mountain in wherever they were, the ship plummeting in the new atmosphere.

They hit the ground and she was knocked onto her back on the floor.

The ship bounced across the ground. They'd made it, they were wherever they needed to be.

The ship smacked towards the ground again. She would never say Loki was a better pilot again.

As though sensing her thoughts, his voice rang through the dead air. "Ta-da!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Radioactive by Imagine Dragons. Mixed responses to the last chapter but thanks for making all your criticisms constructive, I'll try to take it all on board. I would just like to defend one thing though, some people said Frigga's death was too sudden. I only wrote it like it was in the film, from Loki's perspective it is that sudden so given that he is in the dungeons when it all happens. Thank you though for the comments and for being supportive over my updating less. Thanks for reading.


	39. The Journey Will End

Darcy watched as Thor fussed over Jane, feeling completely useless. The whole journey she'd done nothing but help Jane and now Thor was doing that better than she ever could.

"So we're out of Asgard now?" Darcy checked.

"Yes." Thor said, standing up.

"Good." Darcy grinned and then her open palm connected with the side of his face.

He looked at her in shock, clearly not hurt but confused. Darcy's hand stung but she shoved it angrily back to her side.

"Don't you ever." She snarled. "Put me in the fucking dungeons again."

He frowned. "I had to-"

"No you didn't." She retorted. "I know what your reasons were. You were wrong. And I don't want to hate you for it, Thor, so learn your stupid lesson."

He still looked startled but nodded, his hand hovering in confusion above his cheek.

She refused to look at Loki, knowing he'd be smirking or something and she hadn't slapped Thor for his sake.

After her confrontation, they lapsed back into silence. Thor went back to Jane and Darcy went back to watching her friend fearfully.

"What I could do with the power that flows through those veins." Loki said. She turned and saw him staring hungrily at Jane.

"It would destroy you." Thor said.

 _Yeah, or you'd destroy everything,_  Darcy thought.  _Either way, no super powerful forces for you.  
_

"She's holding up all right." He said, nodding at Jane before his smile twisted viciously. "For now."

"Oh fuck off." Darcy told him, looking at her best friend. She was dying and Loki was  _still_ making fun of her.

"She's strong in ways you do not know." Thor told him

"Say goodbye." Loki jeered.

Darcy narrowed her eyes at him. If he wanted to taunt Thor then fine but he could find a subject other than Jane. He wasn't looking at her, however.

"Not this day." Thor resolutely replied, turning to glare at Loki.

"This day, the next," Loki said cruelly. "A hundred years. It's nothing. It's a heartbeat. You'll never be ready. The only woman whose love you ever prized will be snatched from you."

Darcy's rebuke caught in her throat. Loki's words were intended to hurt Thor so why did she feel like he'd thrown them like knives at her? Because it was true? Because she would die and he would live? But it wasn't like she didn't already know that. It wasn't like their arrangement would last forever, either. She'd grow old and he'd get bored. She'd meet someone and get married and have kids and he was certainly not going to be up for that part of her life.

She supposed it was just that she didn't like Loki reminding her of it.

Though of course as much as she meant to Loki, she was at the end of the day just his friend. His only friend, yes. A friend with benefits, yes. But still just a friend.

Hardly the star crossed lovers that Jane and Thor were. They were the epitome of a fairytale. Loki and Darcy were more like some budget Hollywood movie.

"And will that satisfy you?" Thor demanded.

"Satisfaction's not in my nature." He sneered.

"Surrender's not in mine!" Thor replied.

"Will you two stop?" Darcy asked. "We're in the middle of a wasteland and you're busy bickering! What if you attract the Dark Elves or whatever?"

She may as well have not spoken for all the notice they took of her.

"The son of Odin." Loki said derisively.

"No, not just of Odin." Thor snapped and Darcy could tell his patience was wearing thin. Which of course was exactly what Loki wanted. "You think you alone were loved of mother? You had her tricks but I had her trust!"

"Trust?" Loki spat. "Was that her last expression? Trust? When you let her die?"

Darcy's heart beat nervously in her chest, her eyes snapping from one brother to the other, unable to think of anything to say as she watched them, shocked.

"What help were you in your cell?" Thor taunted.

"Who put me there?" Loki shouted, his face contorting in rage. "WHO PUT ME THERE?!"

"YOU KNOW DAMN WELL WHO PUT YOU THERE!" Thor screamed, grabbing Loki. He tried to fight back but his hands were cuffed and even if they weren't she doubted he'd be able to fight Thor off.

Loki stumbled back, Thor gripping his throat and pushing him against the back of the boat. He raised his fist and Darcy gasped, unable to look away and unable to fathom that Thor would actually hit him.

Loki's eyes followed Thor's hand, for a second there was actual fear on his face.

Thor froze, his fist still hovering in the air, his other hand still roughly gripping Loki. "She wouldn't want us to fight."

He let Loki go and turned away, as though the sight of his brother was painful.

Loki stayed against the back of his boat, looking slightly dishevelled. He smiled tentatively.

"Well she wouldn't exactly be shocked." Loki replied, smiling still as though daring Thor to smile back.

Thor's lips twitched despite himself. He looked at his brother for a few seconds. Darcy felt she could have cut the tension with a knife.

At last Thor sighed and looked at Loki sadly. "I wish that I could trust you." He said and Darcy wondered whether he was seeing the Loki in front of him or the one he had grown up with, played with, bickered with...

Loki's expression sobered like he too felt the loss of their old relationship. She wondered whether he'd taken Thor's trust for granted. Clearly Loki wasn't the only one who'd changed over the past few years. Thor looked older...more pained than he had while jovially demanding another coffee.

"Trust my rage." Loki said and with the wind pushing his messy hair across his face he truly looked deadly, like he intended to make the most of his freedom.

In the light of Svartlefeim Darcy could see dark shadows under his eyes. He had always had sharp cheek and jaw bones but she'd always found them attractive, a symbol of his high birth or something.

Now they just looked gaunt.

As she looked into his eyes she saw that they looked slightly hollow too. She wanted to comfort him. Wanted to tell him it wasn't his fault but the words he'd yelled at Thor still rang in her ears. How desperate was he to blame someone else for her death? How much was his own guilt eating away at him?

He turned to her as though sensing her gaze.

She smiled weakly at him. She hoped it looked reassuring.

His own lips twitched ever so slightly but otherwise he didn't respond.

She turned her attention back to Jane. Her eyes were open but they were completely black; no pupil, iris or otherwise.

They gave her a sort of cruel beauty, like a demon. Someone who would kill by stabbing the heart with their high heeled stiletto before dancing on the pieces.

She shuddered and looked away, feeling guilty. She couldn't help and she couldn't even look at her friend without getting scared.

She hugged her knees to her chest where she was sat and looked out at the wreckage of the planet. It certainly looked like an apocalypse had happened.

Darcy hoped that didn't foreshadow anything and set her eyes on the horizon, dreaming of when all this was over and she could go back to listening to her iPod and replacing Jane's burnt cooking and getting them all coffee and all the stuff she used to be bored by. Her simple life seemed like a distant dream, a fictional land that she wanted to live in.

 _You'll have it soon_ , she promised herself.  _This madness can't continue._

 

They'd been flying over the planet for about half an hour. Thor was crouched over Jane and Loki was steering. She watched him for a while, his elegant hands working carefully. It was the same feeling she'd had while watching him throw the cup in the cell, an awe of his calm beauty.

She climbed up and walked over to him. He glanced up from the lever he was using to steer and frowned at her questioningly.

"I need to talk to you." She said, hoping Thor was busy with Jane.

Loki gestured vaguely around. She took this as a go ahead motion.

"I just want you to know," She said. "That if you  _do_  betray Thor, then Sif and Volstagg will be the least of your problems."

He cocked his head to the side, an easy smile falling across his face. Her blood boiled in anger. She wanted him to take her seriously, not laugh her words off.

"Are you threatening me, Miss Lewis?"

"Yes." She retorted, glaring at him in what she hoped was a dangerous way.

He laughed. "Don't you trust me?"

"I trust you with a lot of things, Loki." She said seriously. "Being faithful to your brother is not one of them."

"And what, may I ask, do you plan on doing if I do betray my brother?" He smirked.

She looked at him, disgusted. "You're actually turned on right now, aren't you? Jesus Christ, okay tell you what, if you're good and don't make some dick move then we'll do the whole thing. Chains, whips, whatever you want."

Loki laughed. "Bribery suits you much better than threats."

Before she could reply Thor spoke.

"Jane." He said and Darcy looked to see Jane struggling to lift her head. She seemed fixated on a point in the distance.

"Malekith." She said, nodding.

Darcy looked and saw a huge ship like the one they'd escaped Asgard in. Long, thin and reminding Darcy of the point on Loki's sceptre. She shuddered at the thought.

"Right," She asked because no one else seemed to be talking. "What's the plan?"

Thor turned to her and frowned. "I will take Jane to Malekith. He will remove the Aether from her. I shall destroy it. Kill him and return."

"Riiiiight." Darcy sang. "Because nothing's going to go wrong with that."

"What do you mean?" Thor asked.

"Well for one, won't they question why you're handing over such a dangerous weapon to them? They might get suspicious and kill you before they take it out of Jane. Or, I don't know, take her and remove it somewhere else?"

"Well what can I do?" Thor asked.

"I'll do it." Loki said.

They turned to look at him.

He met Thor's gaze without blinking. "I shall take Jane to the Dark Elves. They will believe I am doing it to betray you. They will not question it."

Thor regarded him for a moment. Battling between his learned distrust of Loki and the logic he saw in his argument.

"And how will you destroy the Aether?" Thor asked at last.

"How were  _you_  going to destroy the Aether?" Darcy asked Thor, not so sure he'd thought it through.

Thor furrowed his eyebrows like the answer were obvious. "I shall destroy it with mjolnir."

Loki smirked patronisingly. "You know, hitting doesn't solve everything."

"It will solve this." Thor replied bluntly.

Loki lowered the ship. Darcy's teeth jolted as it hit the ground and rattled in her head as they skimmed the terrain below.

"So I shall deliver the mortal and when they remove the Aether you shall ah..." Loki glanced at Mjolnir. "Destroy it."

Thor watched Loki for a few minutes, checking for any signs of him lying. Loki returned his look steadily. Thor gave a sharp nod.

Loki lifted his handcuffed hands. "You may have to remove these."

Thor smirked. "Later." He said. "Why not let's make it part of your act."

"Wait." Darcy said, realising suddenly she had no part of this plan. "What am I going to do?"

Thor and Loki both turned to her, similar looks of confusion on both of their faces.

"You shall remain here." Thor said and Loki nodded.

Darcy folded her arms. "I am not staying here."

Loki glared at her. "Brother," He said without looking at Thor. "I require a word with Darcy."

He walked off the boat, expecting her to follow.

She was tempted to refuse but she glanced at Jane, saw the reddish aura surrounded her and decided she shouldn't really prolong her getting the Aether removed.

"What?" She hissed at Loki. They'd stopped a little way from the ship so that Thor couldn't hear them. The mulch like floor tickled her bare feet.

"You are not coming." Loki said, his tone implying there was no room for argument.

"You can't stop me." She said.

He glowered at her, using their height difference to his advantage. "If I must, I shall request that Thor chain you to the ship. My brother allowed me to escape the dungeons, I believe he must have brought some chains with him else he's a bigger fool than I took him for."

Darcy's throat felt tight. She wouldn't be chained to a boat and yet she had no doubt that Loki was telling the truth. "If you're going then I'm going." She said.

"I," Loki said. "Am of the realm eternal. You are of Midgard. I assure you, your body is far more breakable than mine and far less suited to a confrontation with Dark Elves."

"So what?" She retorted, her voice rising now. "I'm supposed to just wait here while you all wander off? What if something happens? I won't know!"

"Darcy," He said, his voice straining. "It's too dangerous."

"But-"

"I have lost my mother." He interrupted, pain in his voice and she saw with a start that his eyes were watering somewhat. "I beg you not to risk my losing you too."

Darcy's protests faltered on her lips. She blinked and realised that she too was on the verge of tears.

"And what am I supposed to do?" She asked, her voice coming out as a whisper. "If I lose you?"

His lips were on hers the moment the final words were out of her mouth. He kissed her like he'd never kissed her before, full of pain and hurt and loss and the fear of losing her all at once. Putting all the words he was too proud to say into that one action.

She kissed him back, her head spinning.

They broke apart, both breathing heavily.

"Let me watch." She implored. "I'll stay at the edge, I promise, just please. I...at least let me know what's happening."

He looked like he would protest again but instead he shook his head, not in refusal but in regret at what he was agreeing to. "Very well." He said.

She nodded and they returned to the ship. She expected some comment on their kiss from Thor but either he hadn't been watching or he didn't care.

Instead he nodded at them and jumped down from the ship, supporting Jane in his arms.

They started trekking up the rough mountain side, rocks and metal mixing in the ground. Darcy didn't want to think about how many cuts her feet were going to have.

_Oh God, what if they get infected with some strange alien Svartalfheim disease and then I get ill and they can't cure it and I die and it just says on my gravestone: here lies Darcy Lewis, cause of death not wearing shoes on an alien planet which was really stupid but hey it's not like she had a choice because there were much more important things happening-  
_

_More important things like what is happening right now,_  she thought angrily. Jesus Christ this is why no one wants you there.  _You are really not suited to this 'serious confrontation with destructive aliens' thing._

They were reaching the top of the hill. Loki turned and glared at her.

She looked round frantically and saw a large rock, perched on the top of the hill. She tried not to smirk at the thought of her crouching behind it.

"I'll, uh, go hide over there." She said. He nodded. She twisted her thumbs together. Her blood was pounding in her ears. She admitted, she was scared. For herself and for Thor and Jane and Loki.

"And, uh," She said nervously. "Good luck."

And she didn't care that Thor and Jane were there because she was terrified and the memory of their kiss was already too distant. She grabbed his leather coat and pulled him down to her with surprising force, covering his lips firmly with hers.

She pulled away before he could react, her sudden movements shocking them all. She saw Thor and Jane share a look from the corner of her eye.

His touch had filled her with confidence, enabling her to turn and walk away, fumbling behind the rock. Her heart was still beating quickly but she could almost convince herself it was from the kiss and not because of how terrified she was.

She'd been right to choose the rock as a hiding place. She could see perfectly over the valley below.

Her stomach jolted and her heart beat violently against its bone cage. She could see Malekith and the other dark elves crossing the valley. Suddenly her plan to watch seemed very, very stupid.

She glanced over at the others where they stood in plain sight. Loki was crouched, peering over. His leather stretched over his thighs in a way she really shouldn't have been thinking about when there were literally homicidal elves in the vicinity.

She hadn't realised how much she'd missed his elaborate leather and metal attire. It was weird, that much she couldn't deny but it fit him sooo well...

 _Darcy, focus, elves_. She told herself, cursing her short attention span.

"Right, are you ready?" Thor's deep voice rolled over the hills like he had purposely projected it. He had his back to Darcy but as he directed his words to Jane she could almost see the gentle, worried expression on his face.

" _I_ am." Loki interrupted, glancing at Jane in distaste. Darcy didn't even try not to roll her eyes. She half expected him to start jumping up and down with his arm flying in the air going "Thor! Pick me! Love me more!"

She assumed Thor glared at Loki or something because he continued. He stood up, his long legs stretching gracefully and glanced down the valley like he hadn't been surveying it a moment before.

"You know this plan of yours is going to get us killed?" Darcy heard Loki ask.

"Yes, possibly." Thor's voice replied.

Loki raised his handcuffed arms pointedly. Thor did nothing. "You still don't trust me brother?" Loki said, a hint of amusement in his voice.

Thor shook his head and grabbed Loki's hands. He removed the handcuffs. "Would you?" He asked in reply, handing Loki a dagger. It was long and thin and elegant, beautifully inscribed with runes that caught the light. In short, it was exactly the kind of weapon Darcy imagined Loki wielding. It suited him far better than a sceptre. More subtle and less ostentatious.

Loki smiled, something more to the usual mischievousness. Something like cruelty and victory. "No I wouldn't." He said, thrusting the blade at Thor.

Darcy's eyes widened in shock as Thor plummeted down the rocky slope.

"Thor!" Jane screamed, looking just as shocked as Darcy felt as Loki ran after him.

Thor raised his hand and Mjolnir flew towards him. Before he could grab it, however, Loki's blade became a silver gleam in the air. He sliced Thor's hand off and Darcy actually gasped.

 _Holy shit,_  she thought panicked,  _this is all part of the plan right?  
_

"You really think I cared about Frigga?" Loki spat, rage and pain pouring into his voice. "About any of you?" He added in a hiss. "All I ever wanted was you and Odin dead at my feet!"

Darcy's hands had curled into fists and she felt her nails break skin, reminding her forcibly of the day she'd met Loki. Now she understood why no one trusted him. Either he was telling the truth in which case he was a dick and had betrayed them all or he was lying which meant he was a damn good actor.

Darcy prayed desperately for the latter. _  
_

Loki returned to Jane, roughly grabbing her and dragging her to Malekith and the Dark Elves who had been watching the confrontation. At the same time as her horror for his acts she couldn't help feeling a slight awe at the power of his body as he pulled Jane, one arm wrapped tightly and aggressively around her waist.

"Malekith!" He shouted, feet from the elf. "I am Loki of Jotenheim!" Darcy flinched, knowing how much those words must have pained him to say. That or he didn't care anymore, which somehow scared her worse. "And I bring you a gift." He threw Jane at the floor. Darcy wanted to run forwards and scream at him but she managed o remain rooted to the ground. "I ask only one thing in return: a good seat in which to watch Asgard burn!"

The elves conversed rapidly in some strange language. Darcy saw the one with the horns that had been in the cell. Her skin itched in anger. The one that had killed Frigga.

And suddenly Darcy trusted Loki to be acting. It was like he'd said to Thor "trust my rage". If there was one thing she could count on, it was his desire to avenge his mother's death and assuage any guilt he felt in relation to it.

Malekith looked down at Jane before turning his white head in the direction of Thor. "Look at me." He said, his voice cracked and words twisted like they were difficult to pronounce.

Thor lifted his head and at the same time Malekith flicked his hand. Jane floated eerily up into the air, her hair flying around her in the wind, arms outstretched like a rag doll.

Adrenaline raced in her veins like liquid fire as Darcy watched her best friend be lifted by the evil elf.

She watched, wishing desperately she could do something to help, as red tendrils started to appear. Jane's back was to Darcy but she still saw the red energy swirl out of her. Abruptly Jane fell to the ground.

"Loki, now!" Thor shouted, thrusting his arm out. Loki twisted his hand, his whole body turning gracefully. The illusion disappeared rapidly, Thor's hand reappeared and Mjolnir flew swiftly into it.

Loki raced to Jane, covering her body with his. Darcy smiled despite the situation at the sight of him protecting her.

Thor pointed Mjolnir to the Aether and summoned lightning.

Blinding light erupted when they made contact, so bright Darcy had to look away. She heard an explosion like a sonic boom and looked back to see dust covering the scene. She watched as it cleared. Loki was over Jane, shielding his face with his arm as he looked round nervously.

Thor looked uncertain and after a moment Darcy saw why. Red petal-like flakes were floating upwards around them, the remnants of the shattered aether. And all at once they sped up, regathering and spinning until the red energy hovered once more. Malekith stretched his arms out and Darcy watched in horror as the energy filled him.

When he looked up, even from her distance Darcy could see red eyes shining out of his hollowed sockets.

He looked at the horned warrior, the one from the prison and nodded. His army advanced as he turned and left, retreating towards the ship.

Thor swung his hammer, knocking the warriors out the way.

Darcy watched the horned one, saw as it pulled out a rock glowing with red like glistening blood and threw it.

She let out a startled breath before seeing that she wasn't the only one that had seen it. Loki pushed Jane out the way as the rock flew towards her, stopping in the air and exploding into a black hole which would, without Loki have taken Jane.

Loki tried to run but he couldn't move, the hole dragging him back.

Darcy screamed, unable to take hiding anymore and ran forwards, with no plan as to what she could possibly do to help.

Loki flew up and she heard her screams fill the air without being aware she was making them. His face was one of shock and horror, his eyes met hers for a moment and she saw in them an apology.

 _Sorry I'm going to die_ , it read,  _I did it to protect them.  
_

And the look was so foreign in his face that she halted. And then a streak of red and silver appeared as Thor tackled Loki out of the way.

Darcy let out a startled breath of relief, only now aware that every muscle in her body had contracted painfully with fear and tension.

Thor and Loki hit the ground, a trail of dust blowing up about them but it was okay. They were alive. Loki panted in relief and Thor glared at him furiously, hating him for risking himself even if it meant Jane lived.

Slowly they clambered up. Malekith's ship was thundering red.

 _Jesus_ , she thought,  _don't they have any other colours here?_

Thor swung his hammer round in a quick circle and flew towards it. He tackled the horned one. The  _Kursed_ , Darcy thought it was called.

The ship flew away and Darcy looked desperately for Loki, surrounded by all the other elves. He looked at them as though wondering how he ended up with the luck of having to fight all of them and Darcy was reminded of him fighting the twenty people that had tried to blow up SHIELD to get to them.

Just like then he flew into action only this time even more rapidly, his blade disappearing as he himself became a green and black blur with his magic returned to aid him.

She heard footsteps on the rough ground and turned.

 _Oh fuck_ , she thought,  _I was wrong. Not all of them were attacking Loki._

One of them was waving their sword at her as they approached.

She froze in fear and then, without realising how it happened, flew into action.

She swiftly aimed a kick at its elbow, hoping to whatever God was listening that it was a weak point on Dark Elves like Matt had shown her it was on humans.

The blade fell as the creature's arm jolted up.

Darcy swooped on the sword, turning round and driving it with the full force of her body into the being that had tried to attack her. It sank hilt deep in the creature's body and the elf crumpled. She yanked the blade back out again and looked at in awe.

Unlike the person she'd shot, she didn't feel guilt. She hoped that was because the Elves weren't really registering in her mind as human as the blood that coated the blade was black and not because she just wasn't bothered by killing anymore.

"I," She muttered proudly, still staring at the sword. "am  _such_  a badass."

A hand gripped her elbow, forcing her round and she turned, staring into the furious face of Loki.

"I told you to stay back!" He shouted, rage contorting his normally calm face.

"I did!" She screamed back, the adrenaline preventing a quieter conversation. "Until it attacked me. And I'm fine!" She gestured to the fallen creature and waved the blade, perhaps a bit too enthusiastically because Loki stepped back slightly. "I am a badass." She repeated.

He looked from the creature to her and slowly grinned, looking at her proudly.

She glowed and smiled back. "Uh," She said a little reluctantly. "Aren't we in the middle of a war?"

This snapped Loki into action, he turned and she did too, the Kursed was apparently beating Thor into a fine pulp.

She turned her head to tell Loki to help but he was gone, already running with Asgardian speed towards his brother.

Darcy stayed, her sword clutched tightly in her hand.

She watched as Loki picked up a fallen sword and thrust it deep into the Kursed's back.

She grinned.  _Yay Loki!_  She thought.

The beast turned, the blade protruding through its chest. And in one fluid action, it thrust itself forward, shoving the end of the blade into Loki's chest.

Time seemed to freeze around her, her breath caught in her throat, her eyes stared without understanding and her blade fell out of her limp hand. She watched as Loki fell, as if in slow motion, backwards to the ground. His impact sent up a cloud of dust and his hands hovered over the hole in his chest.

"Noooo!" Thor shouted, running to his brother.

The kursed seemed to suddenly realise the blade was on his own rock thing.

"See you in hell, monster." Loki spat at it, leaning up as far as he could. The monster exploded.

Loki collapsed backwards and Darcy was suddenly able to move again. She ran to him, as fast as her short legs could carry her but she was so very far away.

"No, no, no." Thor muttered, his voice carrying across the barren landscape as he stared at Loki. "Oh you fool, you didn't listen."

He was holding Loki whose pale face had drained of the little colour it had, turning it an almost bluish colour.  _No, no, no. He couldn't die_. "I know," He whispered. 

"I'm a fool. I'm a fool."

"Stay with me." Thor said as if he could command him into staying alive.

"I'm sorry." Loki looked like each word was causing him pain. Darcy had a stitch in her side but it was nothing compared to the pain in her gut. Fuck she was so far away. "I'm sorry." Loki repeated.

"It's okay." Thor said comfortingly. "I'll tell father what you did here today."

Darcy was almost there, metres from them.

Loki took one last rattling breath. "I didn't do it for him." He breathed.

And was still.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Wake Me Up by Avicii. So yeah...the next few chapters should be fun... *hides*
> 
> As always, thanks for reading and reviewing.


	40. They Can't Hurt Him

Darcy stared at Loki's still form in Thor's arms.

"NOOOOOOOO!" Thor screamed.

But Darcy didn't understand why. She stayed, watching Loki, her breath held as she waited. He would breathe again. He'd jump up and laugh. He'd think this was funny. Some joke. And she'd get furious at him for it and he'd laugh and she'd hit him and he'd laugh more and then she'd crack a smile at how much of an idiot he was.

So she stared, waiting.

Her hands shook at her sides and she was cold, so cold, but it didn't matter.

She didn't dare blink in case she missed the fluttering of his chest.

Thor moved but she didn't care. Loki was lying still on the ground, skin rapidly greying.

He'd move. He had to. He couldn't, couldn't be dead.

And then the impact of what had happened hit her like a physical blow to her stomach and her knees buckled beneath her. She doubled over tears wetting her cheeks as she repeated his name, over and over again like if she said it enough she could call him back from wherever it was he'd gone.

 _"See you in hell, monster."_  His words echoed.  _No, no,_  she thought desperately,  _no no Loki, you won't you won't be in hell._

"Darcy," Jane's voice said in her ear and she realised the physicist was hugging her. She was aware of the arms around her but she couldn't feel anything, like the grief was forming a physical barrier between her and others.

She also became aware that her body was shaking, Jane trying to stop her.

"Darcy," She consoled. "It's okay, it's okay."

But why was she saying such empty words? Loki was gone: Loki who had kept her company in dungeons, Loki who had her saved her when SHIELD had exploded, Loki who had held her while she sobbed with guilt over killing someone, Loki who had comforted her when she'd gone through shit with Adam and her family without even realising it, Loki whose lips were still imprinted on her own...

She choked on her tears. He was gone. How could any of that be okay?

She sniffed, forcing herself to stop crying. She felt Thor and Jane watching her, judging her for her tears and she felt guilty for even caring.

She blinked, lifting her head slightly so she could see his body through the mop of curls in front of her eyes.

She forced herself to stare at him, bottling her sadness up. She was reminded forcibly of Izzy, the only other time she'd broken down. How she had done just what she was doing now whenever someone said something, how she had managed to save her tears for the night when she was free to spill them.

Jane helped her to her feet. Her cheeks were damp but she didn't care. She looked at Loki without emotion, feeling hollow. Complete absence of anything.

"Darcy?" Jane asked uncertainly.

Darcy didn't trust herself to speak without crying again.

 _Feel nothing,_  she told herself,  _nothing._

She turned to Thor who was watching her carefully.

"We should..." He said awkwardly. She'd never seen him be awkward before and it was vaguely unnerving watching this six foot four, armour clad warrior look at her anxiously. "Malekith escaped. We should go after him."

Darcy nodded and forced her feet forwards. She felt clumsy, like a toddler learning to walk.

Jane's hand stayed on her arm but Darcy refused to look at her. She could almost picture the look of sympathy. She hardened her expression.

She didn't really know where they were going, she was just trying to put one foot in front of the other.

 _Loki died for this_ , she thought. And somehow it was enough to push her forwards.

She curled her hands into fists. They were going to go and they were going to kick Malekith's ass and send him and every other fucking dark elf into oblivion, preferably in the most painful way possible.

Thor led them into a cave, the floor beneath Darcy's feet turning to even rougher, sharper stone. The air smelled damper and everything grew darker.

"What do we do now?" She heard Jane ask like she was a thousand miles away. "We don't have...anyone to show us how to get out."

Darcy's hands started to shake at her sides so she wrapped them round her waist.  _They couldn't even say his name?_ She thought angrily,  _he'd just died to save_ _Thor. Risked being pulled into a black hole for Jane and they. Couldn't. Even. Say. His. Fucking. Name?!_

"I do not know." Thor said, looking around, carefully avoiding looking at Darcy who was glaring at him in anger. Shouldn't he be a little more upset that his brother was dead? He frowned at the ground. "Why are there so many shoes in here?"

Darcy looked round and saw he was right, there were shoes littering the floor.

"Don't you have a pair like that?" Darcy asked, pointing at a pair of sneakers.

Jane looked at her in shock. Darcy looked at her questioningly, her stomach knotting.

"Yeah..." Jane said after a moment. "But I threw them into- Oh my God I'm such an idiot, these are ones we threw into the portal. It must have come out here!"

"You threw shoes into a portal?" Darcy asked questioningly. "Shoes?"

"Yeah..." Jane said, giving her a strange steady look. "Those are my car keys!" Jane said, picking up a pair of keys with her atom key-ring on.

Before she could say anything, however, rap music filled the cavern.

Darcy looked round in shock, seeking an ipod or something.

"It's not me." Thor said.

"Oh it's me!" Jane said suddenly, pulling out a phone. Darcy looked at her sceptically. Rap wasn't exactly Jane's kind of music. "I couldn't figure out how to change it."

Darcy nodded.

"Ian?" Jane asked answering the phone. "Oh thank God."

She gestured for them to follow her deeper into the cave.

Darcy didn't really understand why but she followed anyway.

"You've got Selvig?...Naked on TV?! Why didn't SHIELD stop the broadcast?!...But you got him out of the institute?" They carried on walking. "Okay the signal's getting stronger, keep talking."

And then Jane disappeared.

Darcy looked at Thor in surprise and he nodded to the shimmering air. It must have been another of those portals.

She hesitated for a moment and then followed Jane, trying not to think about how they really were leaving Loki now.

They were in some parking lot next to a derelict building. Jane was still on the phone but walking over to a red car. The windows were smashed in and someone had painted graffiti on it.

 _Nice neighbourhood_...Darcy thought.

The sky above was an overcast grey and Darcy realised she was in England. It didn't really feel all that different from America.

"Ahh fuck!" She shouted as she got into the car.

"What?" Jane asked in a panic. She'd hung up the phone.

"Nothing," Darcy said, glaring at the glass littering the floor and jumping into the back seat instead. "I just cut my foot on some glass."

"Your foot?" Jane asked, not understanding and glancing at Darcy's extremely dirty and now bloody feet. "You don't have shoes? Why didn't you say anything?"

"We were kind of busy escaping Asgard." Darcy said, aiming for jokey but her voice sounded hollow.

 _Act normal,_  she told herself in annoyance.

"Still, you should have said something." Jane said, pulling away.

"So who is Ian?" Thor asked from the passenger seat.

She turned to send a look to Loki but was struck by the empty seat. She winced and her hands started shaking again. She blinked back the tears that sprung from her eyes. There would be time for grief later, where people couldn't see her and she didn't have to act fine.

The drive to Jane's London house went quickly. Soon they'd pulled up on a street ringed on both sides by houses.

"Why are they touching?" Darcy asked, scowling at the houses. There were literally no gaps between them. They'd been shoved up against each other as closely as possible.

"Most houses in England are like that." Jane said. "Especially in London."

Darcy frowned, it made her feel exposed. Especially in her Asgardian clothes. Together, in the middle of London they looked like they were going to comic con.

And again she missed Loki and his ridiculous leather.

She hurried into the house. It was warm and cosy looking with carpet and cream walls. A man came out of the door ahead of them. He was about her age and carrying a load of scientific equipment.

"Oh hi," He said. He had a nice English accent that made her long for Loki even more. "I'm Ian."

"The intern?" She asked, scrutinising him. So this was her replacement?

"Yeah..." He said then spotted Jane behind him. "Oh Dr Foster! Everything's set up."

"Good." Jane said, locking the door.

"Jane!" Erik said, running out of the room. He wasn't wearing pants. "Darcy!"

"Erik!" She said, pretending to be happy. "Uh, where are your pants?"

"He says they inhibit his flow." Ian said.

"Riiiight." Darcy replied.

"Thor!" Erik said, freezing. "Your brother isn't coming is he?"

Darcy looked away, digging her nails into the unhealed cuts in her hands.

"Loki is dead." Thor replied. His words echoed in her head.  _Loki is dead. Loki is dead. Loki is dead.  
_

_Not Loki died or Loki passed away or anything like that. Loki is dead. Because the dead stay dead. The bastards.  
_

She felt a tear tumble from her eye and wiped it away quickly, hoping that no one saw.

"Oh thank God." Erik said. Her head snapped to glare at him. He was still looking at Thor but he must have glared at him too because he hurried to correct himself. "I mean, I am so sorry for your loss.

"Come on Darcy," Jane said. "I'll show you to your room."

"I have a room?" She asked.

"Of course." Jane replied as though this were obvious and led her up the stairs.

On the landing, Jane grabbed her arm.

"Whaa-"

"Are you okay?" Jane asked.

Darcy felt her stomach clench. What kind of a question was that? Okay was kind of the opposite of how she felt. She forced herself to smile. "Absolutely fantastic." She replied. It sounded falsely cheery even to her own ears but Darcy didn't care.

Jane glared at her. "Look I know you-"

"Can we not do this now?" Darcy asked abruptly, feeling on the verge of tears again. "Just, let's destroy every last Dark Elf and then we'll talk, okay?"

Jane frowned at her for a few minutes before nodding. "Fine. Your room is through there."

She nodded at the door behind her so Darcy went in, not looking at Jane on the way in.

She closed the door and leant against it, wanting only to curl into a ball and disappear. To allow the sorrow that threatened to drown her to spill free. But she still had a job to do, a job Loki had died doing.

She pulled open the chest of drawers but there was only a pair of tights in the first drawer. She frowned and rummaged through the rest. All the clothes were hers but together she found the tights, a few pairs of underwear, a baggy band t-shirt, a red beanie, blue scarf, grey coat and the purple skater dress she'd worn on Christmas.

She silently lamented the fact there were no jeans present as she pulled the dress and tights on. Not the most practical outfit for saving the world. Luckily there was also a pair of boots.

She went downstairs, carrying the coat, hat and scarf.

"Jane," She asked. "Where are all my clothes?"

"Oh right," Jane said. She was wearing jeans and a flannel shirt. Darcy liked dresses but she would have gone for a bit more variety right now. Jane was blushing. "I kinda needed your suitcase space for equipment."

"Oh." Darcy replied. She couldn't really find it in herself to care very much.

"How do we know where Malekith is going to be?" She asked Erik who was sat at the table.

Darcy wandered over, hugging her coat to her chest. He rambled something about people leaving clues and drew some lines on the map.

"Greenwich?" Jane asked. "Right, let's go."

 

 

"Right, Darcy. I need you and Ian to go and place these at intervals around the square." Jane said, shoving some long metal rods into Darcy's arms.

"Intern!" She called. He turned to her.

"Actually my er name is Ian and-"

"Yeah whatever, intern." She said. "Hold these."

He held his arms out and took all the rods. She tried not to grin. Having an intern was fun. Was this what Jane had been like to her for their first few weeks?

"Right, focus, this is serious." She said to him but mostly to herself as they ran off across Greenwich.

He was struggling to keep up what with all the rods in his arms.

"Dr Foster mentioned you." He said.  _Well I should hope so_ , Darcy thought. "I thought you were her assistant, shouldn't you have been here?"

"I was in prison." She replied.

"What?" He stuttered and she smirked. He was exactly the kind of guy she would have gone for in the past...he would be mesmerised by her oddness and their relationship would be over in a month at best.

He almost dropped the rod in his shock.

"Careful!" She scolded. "Do you have any idea what this stuff does?"

He frowned. "No."

She bit her lip. "Okay well neither do I but it's important!"

He looked a little shell shocked by her. Yep, definitely the kind of guy she would have gone for.

"Okay let's put one there." She said, taking one of the long rods from the pile Ian was holding and shoving it into the grass.

They did so periodically. "Woah what's that?" She asked, pointing to a fountain which was hovering in the air.

"The gravitational anomalies Dr Foster's been researching." He answered. She looked at him blankly.

"The universes are aligning." He explained. Well she knew  _that_. "It's causing all these gravitational disruptions. That's one of them."

"Cool." She said, forcing herself to be cheerful.

Malekith would be here soon. And then he would pay for what the Kursed did to Frigga and to Loki.

She felt a quiet resolve take hold of her. "Come on." She told the intern.

They only had a few more rods to stick in the ground when the ground beneath them shook.

Darcy threw her arms out to steady herself, looking round rapidly to see what had caused it. It didn't take her long to find out.

Malekith's ship was gliding towards them, hovering over the Thames as it approached.

She swore, grabbing Ian's arm and pulling him forwards.

"Shit shit shit, we have to get these sorted." She told him, thrusting one of the poles into the ground.

The ship cracked into the land, tearing it apart. It tore straight past them, heading for the middle of the garden.

Darcy had no time to look, taking the remaining pole from Ian and sticking it in the ground. They hurried back, watching as Thor flew through the air, swinging Mjolnir. Malekith stepped out of the ship, raising red energy around him and throwing it at Thor like knife blades. If he'd been human he would have been shredded.

Thor tackled him. They rolled over, once, twice and were gone.

"Yes!" Darcy said happily. "Jane's machine worked!"

And then she saw Jane, running down the steps of the white building, Selvig in tow.

She ran towards her, Ian at her shoulder.

Up above Thor reappeared with Malekith and then disappeared again. That was the least of their problems; more elves were running out of the ship, firing their weird weapons.

Jane twisted a button on her remote and two elves disappeared in a blast emitted from the nearest pole.

"Yay! Go Jane!" Darcy said, grinning broadly at the sight of the elves being destroyed.

Another one ran towards them and Jane pressed another button only this time Darcy felt herself pulled backwards. She looked round and saw she was in a completely different part of Greenwich. Ian was there but so were about a dozen elves.

Ian looked panicked at something behind her.

"Duck!" He yelled. She didn't think twice and dived to the ground.

She peeked up to see him throw a car at the elves behind her, taking them out like bowling pins.

She stood up clumsily. "You saved my life." She said shocked.

"Yeah." He shrugged.

Darcy turned away, closer than ever to bursting into tears. She remembered the last guy who'd saved her life.  _Twice._

 _Loki,_  she thought desperately,  _why did you stab the Kursed?  
_

She blinked and when she looked up she and Ian were back with Jane and Erik.

"Darcy?!" Jane asked, looking at the tears tumbing down Darcy's cheeks.

"Jane!" She replied, shocked.

"Ian?" Erik asked.

"Dr Selvig." Ian greeted.

"Mur-mur!" Darcy said to distract Jane from her tears, pointing as the hammer flew past them to wherever Thor was summoning it.

Darcy watched as one by one, Jane took out all the elves with her remote. Thor flitted in and out but Darcy was too distracted to pay much attention.

Eventually all the elves were gone.

They were just waiting for Thor and Malekith.

"Look!" Ian pointed and they looked up. Floating above Malekith's ships were circular tears in the air, each showing a different realm. Darcy recognised Svartalfhiem, the grey wasteland.

The grey wasteland where Loki died. Where his body still lay.

She looked away from it, into the other more colourful realms. Maybe if they'd gone to one of those then nothing bad would have happened.

Suddenly Malekith fell through one of the holes, Thor not in sight. Jane looked terrified, worried, no doubt, for Thor.

He stood up as he hit the floor, stretching his arms out. Wind swirled around him, picking up dust and dirt so that the whirlwind was so thick they could barely see through it.

The portals above shifted, moving closer together. Aligning.

And then Malekith began to rise into the air, like Jane had.

The portals merged into one huge circle. Jane swore and started running towards it.

"Jane!" Selvig yelled, going into dad mode and running to stop her.

He stopped as she sped up.

The red beads of the Aether swirled around Malekith's ship.

Darcy ran to the edge of the building. Where the fuck was Thor?

The red energy formed tendrils, winding up the ship and reaching like desperate hands for the portals above. They reached it and Darcy's breath caught in her throat. And then they moved through.

"Shit." She swore.

The darkness joined the red and the whirlwind became destructive, tearing at anything in sight.

Jane and Selvig were gone, Ian was not helping, Thor was nowhere in sight.

She gripped at the edge of the barrier, almost wanting to run into the destruction.

 _If it happens let it happen_ , she thought _, let me join him._

And then she saw Thor, running with Jane's equipment straight into the whirlwind.

The sight of him jolted her from her thoughts with sudden guilt. Had she really been on the verge of wishing that?

She dug her nails into her hands again. She'd probably have permanent scars soon but the pain was the only thing keeping her grip on reality.

Her heart beat quicker as she strained her eyes for any sight of Thor or Malekith.

Mjolnir sailed past, into the whirlwind.

"Come on, Thor." She pleaded.

And suddenly the whirlwind stopped, the dirt clearing and Darcy watched as Malekith flew into his ship, one of Jane's poles sticking out of his chest. He seemed to be missing his arms.

Jane must have pressed the button on her remote because a white light appeared and he was gone.

And then Darcy saw Thor, he was lying face down on the cracked ground. The ship started to teeter, it was going to fall. The bottom of it crumbled.

She was about to run to him when Jane came flying out from the side, throwing herself on top of him and trying to drag him away. She managed to roll him onto his back and tugged helplessly at his arm.

Darcy ran forwards to help but it was Loki all over again. She was too far away and probably couldn't have helped even if she wasn't.

She ran anyway and suddenly arms were around her. Tall arms.

"Loki?" She asked, her heart jumping and when she turned she saw Ian. Stopping her from running to Jane.

She felt her eyes water,  _again._  She felt foolish for thinking it was him and her eyes burned. She kicked out against hm.

"Let go!" She screamed.

"It'll crush you!" He replied. But Jane was in the way; Jane was going to be crushed and Thor too.

And Loki had died to protect them both.

She struggled against Ian, watching as Jane gave up and hugged Thor.

"RUN!" She screamed at her friend but she just held onto him tighter.

And then it was gone. The ship disappeared in a swirl of blue and she saw Erik holding Jane's remote and an empty space where the pole he'd thrown at the ship had been.

Jane looked up at him smiling and then lay back on Thor, clutching onto him.

They'd done it. Malekith was defeated. Jane and Thor were alive. The Dark Elves had lost.

And finally Darcy let her tears fall freely. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Sleeps Alone by Two Door Cinema Club. So that's the end of most of the Thor: The Dark World stuff...Thanks for reading and commenting


	41. Too Much To Lose

Darcy wasn't quite sure how she got through the next couple of days. It was funny how time did that. It was like she'd blinked in her haze of sadness and suddenly it was the next week while every individual second seemed to drag for years. Maybe that's how people got through grief. They just kept blinking in the hope the fog of tears would lift.

She was exhausted. Mentally and physically. She was tired of pretending to be okay to everyone and then retreating to her room to just lie there. She was tired of forcing herself to get up each morning. Tired of pleading in the middle of the night to whatever God or force of nature might be there to let them trade. Tired of being envious of Loki's peace when she had to suffer.

It was always her. Izzy...Loki... they just got to sleep. Darcy had to put up with the hole they left. Darcy had to be the one who struggled on. Darcy was the one who had to get up again and again and again.

Darcy hadn't slept in three days.

It was a week after the defeat of Malekith. Her alarm went off and she listened to it beep. She should turn it off. She should turn it off and have a shower and get up. And then she'd come back to bed and have to do it all over again the next day. And the next. And what was the point?

She let it beep.

Then she realised Jane could probably hear it through the walls and turned it off.

She rolled out of bed and rubbed her eyes. She tried to think whether she'd even dozed at all but decided she hadn't.

She showered, making the water hotter than she could stand because at least if it hurt then she was feeling something.

She changed into a skirt and jumper: Jane's jeans were too small for her to borrow and the jumper was Ian's. She needed to go shopping for more clothes but she just couldn't motivate herself. SHIELD would even be paying for it all.

She stared at herself in the mirror. Gaunt face and limp hair. She looked like she'd aged ten years in the past week. It didn't help that she didn't have any make up.

God she needed to go shopping. She looked at the clock on the side. It was a Saturday. Maybe that's what she'd do today, if she put it off much longer then people would get suspicious and she was putting on a very good show of not being pathetically upset over the death of a guy.

She went downstairs where everyone was sat around the table having breakfast.

"Hey Darce." Jane grinned. Jane was Darcy's biggest problem, she seemed to be returning the care Darcy had given her when Thor left which meant she noticed if she didn't eat anything, had shadows under her eyes and if she was quieter than usual.

"Hey." She said smiling. It made her cheeks hurt.

She sat down opposite Jane and poured herself some cereal.

"I'm going to go shopping for clothes today." Darcy told her.

"Oh great." Jane said, grinning with obvious relief. So apparently her putting it off hadn't gone unnoticed. "Want me to go with you?"

"You?" Darcy asked. "You hate shopping."

Jane laughed. "True."

"I'm good to go alone." Darcy said. She liked being alone a lot more recently, she found other people annoyed her much easier these days. She didn't know if this was because she'd grown accustomed to only being with Loki or because it was a part of her coping with his loss. She didn't really care.

"You shouldn't be alone." Jane said.

"Why because you're scared I'll break down and follow him?" She snapped. Every face on the table looked at her and she smiled as though she meant it as a joke. She thought of Izzy and instantly felt guilty for so casually referencing something like that.

How could she act like this just because he was gone? So many people had it so much worse. She had no right. None at all.

Her stomach rolled and she felt repulsed by the food in front of her.

"You know what," She said, pushing the bowl away from her. "I'll get breakfast while I'm out."

"Darcy!" Jane called after her as she walked down the hall.

Darcy didn't reply.

 

 

Darcy had managed to sleep at last. She'd got a whole four hours. Then she'd woken up in a cold sweat. She'd dreamt of Loki's death. She was running towards him and he was bleeding and calling for her but she never got any closer as she ran.

He was mocking her, smirking as his life's blood poured out of him. And she kept running. And suddenly she was near him but as she reached her arm out a blackhole opened behind him

"NOOO!" She'd screamed as he was lifted up into the air.

"If you'd only run faster." He said, sounding disappointed in her. And then he was gone, the blackhole shutting behind him. She'd broken down on the dead planet, sobbing for him to come back.

She'd been scared of sleeping after that.

 

 

Twelve days. Twelve days since Malekith. Twelve days since Loki.

Darcy stared at the ceiling. Rain was pounding against the window incessantly as it so often did in England. Wind howled outside and her hands outside of the duvet were like blocks of ice.

It felt like pathetic fallacy.

It was odd. After they'd got back, Darcy had slept. A lot. But she hated it. She hadn't dreamt at all.

She'd kind of grown to feel like without dreams there was no point. She felt miserable all day and then there was nothing but a blink of blackness before she had to wake up and face the light again.

Now she felt like she'd give anything to have dreamless sleep. Whenever she dozed, even for an hour she had vivid nightmares that left her shaking.

And she hated the dark. The days were horrible; she had to pretend to be happy. And sometimes she was happy and that was even worse because she felt guilty for it.

At night...the night was different. It was stupid really but in the darkness she felt more exposed than if she was in a lighted room. In the light there are places to hide, she can pretend. In the dark she was exposed, her secrets and pain raw and she felt every inch of it.

 _You're pathetic._ Her brain said.  _You know how many people would laugh if they knew how you felt? Some stupid girl who became friends with a God?_

She felt like one of those annoying heroines in novels whose whole lives revolved around a guy. Of course hers didn't, she had Jane and work and interests.

But at the moment her life seemed fixed on the loss of Loki.

_Don't be ridiculous, of course you're allowed to be upset.  
_

_"Your feelings are valid for the simple fact that you feel them."_  Her old therapist's words rang in her head. And she repeated them to herself. Clinging to them like a raft. She was terrified of drowning.

 

 

Fourteen days.

Darcy's alarm beeped and she lay there. She let it go off for longer and longer each day now. It took her longer to feel like pressing it.

"All right that is enough." Jane said bursting into her room.

Darcy could barely motivate herself to turn her head in Jane's direction.

"Oh, sorry." She said, tapping her alarm.

"This is getting ridiculous."

"What is?" Darcy asked innocently, reaching over for her glasses on her bedside table and stretching like she'd just woken up.

"I've booked you an appointment with a therapist." Jane told her, folding her arms across her chest.

"You what?" She asked, jolting up in bed.

"I've booked you an appointment with a therapist." Jane repeated, leaning against the radiator opposite Darcy's bed.

"Why?" Darcy demanded.

"Why?" Jane repeated incredulously. "Why? You know damn well why!"

 _"You know damn well who!"_ Thor's scream at Loki sounded in her mind and she looked away, remembering the fight they'd had on the ship.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Darcy replied, her eyes dropping to the floor.

Jane glared at her. "Your alarm was going off for ten minutes." She pointed out.

"Ahh right of course not turning my alarm off is a clear sign that you must rush me into therapy." Darcy said, falling into her defence of sarcasm.

"Darcy," Jane said, a hint of warning to her voice showing that Darcy wasn't convincing her.

Darcy rolled out of bed and started pulling her outfit for the day out of her closet as an excuse not to look at her.

"Darcy?" Jane asked.

"Yeah?" She replied, pulling a pair of jeans off of a hanger.

"When was the last time you slept?" She asked.

Darcy dropped the jeans in shock and hurriedly picked them up. "Last night." She said, a fraction too late.

"Don't lie to me." Jane said. "You never were a very good liar."

"I slept last night." Darcy insisted, turning to face Jane with her arms crossed, mirroring Jane's stance.

"Darcy, enough!" Jane almost shouted.

Darcy jumped, the raised voice like a canon blast to her sleep deprived ears.

"I-"

"Stop lying!" Jane said in frustration. Darcy was shocked to see tears shining in her friend's eyes. "Stop pretending you're fine all the time! Stop it. You don't have to hide your grief from us; we're all here for you."

Darcy sat back on the bed, her fingers fiddling with the jeans in her hands. She'd hidden her grief because no one wanted to be around someone who was miserable all the time. But maybe she was right...maybe she didn't have to grieve alone this time.

It was just hard, she'd shared it last time with people she thought she could trust and her family had turned on her. What if Jane did the same?

 _She won't_ , a voice said resolutely in her head.

She bit her lip, tempted to laugh at the irony in the fact the person she wanted to talk to about Loki's death was Loki himself.

"How did you know?" Darcy asked instead, her voice scarcely louder than a whisper.

"That you were upset?" Jane asked in confusion, that answer was clearly obvious enough.

"No, that I haven't been sleeping."

"Oh." Jane said, shrugging. "Well other than the fact that your eyes are so dark they look bruised, I haven't heard you."

"Hear me sleep?" Darcy replied sceptically.

"You whistle through your nose when you sleep." Jane told her, shrugging. "It used to get kind of annoying, actually. So when was the last time you slept?"

Darcy swallowed. "A few nights ago." She decided there was no point lying now.

"For how long?"

"A few hours." She replied.

"Jesus Christ..." Jane said. "I didn't realise things were that bad. Why didn't you say anything?"

"What, I was just supposed to announce it over breakfast? Like 'hey guys I haven't slept in three days because when I do I have nightmares over the god you all hate dying.'" She hadn't intended on saying these last words and clapped her hands over her mouth when they escaped her.  _Stupid sleep deprived brain lacking even more filters than usual_ , she thought angrily.

Jane ran over, flinging her arms around Darcy. Darcy didn't hug her back, knowing if she did she'd break down. Instead she tensed, waiting for Jane to release her.

"I'll go to the therapist." Darcy muttered.

"Good." Jane said, finally letting go. "It's next Tuesday at ten o'clock. Want me to go with you?"

Darcy was on the verge of saying no, that she'd be fine when the idea of saying the word 'fine' in relation to herself felt so repulsive she couldn't utter it. She hesitated. "Yes please." She said in a small voice.

Jane nodded.

"I'm going to have a shower." She told Jane, hinting for the other one to leave. She appreciated it and everything but she really did like being alone.

"Okay, I'll see you downstairs."

Darcy spent longer in the shower, trying to fathom what had just happened. She would be getting help? Professional help? And Jane didn't think she was pathetic for needing it?

Somehow she couldn't make the thoughts work together in her mind. It was like the idea of Jane preaching creationism: something that just clashed too much to make sense.

She pulled on clothes, thankful that she'd bought some of her own. After weeks of borrowing from various members of the household she'd almost forgotten how comfortable jeans and jumpers were.

She even brushed he hair. Most days she couldn't see the point so just tied it up to make it look presentable. It did take a bit longer to get all the knots out though.

Eventually she went downstairs and saw everyone seated at breakfast.

"Hey." She greeted with a forced grin. Jane narrowed her eyes at her as though she knew just how fake she was being but no one else commented.

Darcy reached for cereal.

"Have you got the bridge working yet?" Darcy asked Jane.

Jane sent a shocked look to Selvig and Darcy wondered if they'd been talking about her behind her back. "No, not yet." Jane answered.

"Any sign from Thor?" She asked.

Jane choked on her orange juice. "No. Well it's only been two weeks, so."

"Did he say anything before he left?" Selvig asked.

"Yeah he had to figure some stuff out with his father. He kind of committed treason...on our way out."

She continued eating breakfast quietly. Suddenly thunder cracked overhead like their discussion of Thor had summoned him.

Jane jumped up, running faster than Darcy had ever seen her, swinging the back door open and flying through it.

Darcy stood up clumsily, as did the others, and followed Jane to the door.

Outside she saw Thor and Jane kissing in the rain.

She thought of the bridge Jane had made in New Mexico, when she and Thor had kissed then.

Darcy longed to share sarcastic remarks with Loki. She closed her eyes tightly, refusing to let them water. She couldn't keep crying every time she thought of him.

"Jane." Thor said, looking at her with a grin that said he had never been happier to see anyone else. Their love was so cute it made Darcy sick.

"Is everything...?" Jane mumbled. "I mean is your dad...? Oh you know what, just come in."

Thor laughed and nodded, walking to the doorway.

He paused as he reached Darcy and nodded at her, watching her carefully. He'd never looked at her so much, he'd always been so captivated by Jane that he'd never really spared her a glance but now he was looking at her like he expected her skin to sprout words which would outline her every thought.

"Darcy." He nodded grimly.

"Thor." She grinned, her lips hurting with the effort.

She retraced her steps back to the table to allow Thor and Jane back into the small kitchen.

Thor stayed standing as everyone else sat down. Darcy had the odd feeling she was being lectured at.

"What did your dad say?" Jane asked hurriedly.

"He forgave the treason." Thor frowned. "He took it remarkably well. He commended our actions and even accepted that I do not wish to be king."

"Well that's good isn't it?" Jane asked.

"Yes." Thor said, grinning. "It is just odd to accept. I have spent so long arguing with him that to have him finally agree is a strange feeling indeed."

Darcy wondered if she could go back to her room. Listening to them all talk about Asgard was painful.

"And...how is he? Without Frigga?" Jane asked.

Thor looked pained suddenly, the pain of his mother's death evident on his face. "He grieves her. I do not know if he will truly recover. He spends increasing time alone."

Jane reached out for his hand, taking it gently in hers. He smiled at her thankfully.

"He has sent you a formal invitation to visit Asgard." Thor said abruptly.

"What?!" Jane asked. "But that's insane! He called me a goat!"

 _Yeah and he kind of arrested me_ , Darcy thought but it was too much effort to speak and she doubted anyone would have actually cared.

"I know." Thor agreed. "It is most odd. He...He has agreed to a formal ceremony...for Loki." Darcy tensed, unable to look away from Thor. For the first time since his death someone else had said his name with the pain she felt and she realised suddenly that just because Frigga was gone didn't mean she was the only one who cared for him. Thor...how could she forget? "I did not know that he would...I thought perhaps he may simply ignore it. He seems to have forgiven him, however and accepted that he died nobly. He was...truly worthy...in the end...when it mattered."

Darcy had never seen Thor at such a loss for words.

She glanced away and saw to her surprise that Jane was watching her, not Thor.

"Father has offered both you and Darcy," He nodded at her. "An invitation to stay in the palace for the duration of the ceremony and for the days surrounding it."

"Oh god." Jane said. "I mean I'm happy he's fine with me visiting, I just wish it was happier circumstances."

 _You're telling me_ , Darcy thought bitterly.

"As do I." Thor told her.

"Do you want me to go?" Jane asked.

Thor looked intently into her eyes. "Please." He said softly. "I...do not think I can handle my brother's funeral alone."

"I'll be there." Jane smiled sadly but reassuringly at him.

"And you Darcy?" Thor asked, lifting his head to face her.

"Go to Loki's funeral?" She asked. She hadn't even considered this, never imagined they would hold one for him. She missed him so much, would she be able to handle his funeral?

 _Well, if there was ever a time to cry over him it would be at his funeral_ , she thought.  _And don't you at least owe him your attendance?  
_

"Yes." She said simply.

"When is it?" Jane asked.

"Tomorrow." Thor said.

 _Tomorrow? So soon?_  The room began to spin around her.

_What difference does it make? Tomorrow? The day after? You'll never be ready._

And she remembered Loki's words as he taunted Thor for loving a mortal.

 _You were supposed to be immortal_ , she thought angrily.  _This wasn't supposed to happen._

"And you're sure your dad is okay with this?" Jane asked sceptically.

"He insisted upon your presence." He replied.

Darcy doubted Odin wanted to see her very much but she wouldn't not go just because he would be there. The main problem would be trying not to cause a scene at the funeral by shouting at him.

"Darcy," Thor said, his voice serious. Darcy turned to him in confusion, she didn't think he'd ever spoken directly to her like that. "I know you miss him."

Darcy froze. Was he joking? Obviously she fucking missed him. But he carried on, looking like he did not understand how best to phrase the words.

"I just thought you ought to know that he truly cared for you too."

"I know." She said, really not wanting to have this conversation.

"I am told he sent you away from his cell when he found out about Mother's death." Thor said, he had an unnerving way of looking so intently at a person when he spoke to them that she found herself fidgeting nervously, rather unlike herself.

"Yes." She said, her voice coming out clipped though she didn't mean it too. "I assume he wanted to grieve in peace."  _Hint hint_.

"His cell was destroyed." Thor said, his words weighted with importance. "He lost control of his magic, releasing it in the face of her death. I believe he managed to control it for your sake at first and sent you away so that you were safe."

Darcy's hands were shaking slightly at her sides but she managed to prevent tears slipping into her eyes.  _Loki, did you really do that?  
_

She didn't trust herself to speak so she nodded.

"I must return to Asgard to inform them of your visit. I will return tomorrow morning to accompany you on the bifost." Thor said.

Jane ran to kiss him one last time but Darcy had turned back to her room, praying that the funeral would give her the closure she so sorely needed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Terrible Things by Mayday Parade. Thanks for reading and commenting.


	42. A Lie When They Smiled

Darcy's hand slammed her alarm off before the first buzz had chimed through her room. She sat bolt upright, more awake than she'd ever been at that time of the morning without her usual caffeine fix. She hadn't slept properly but she'd dozed for the majority of the night which was at the least a large improvement.

She rolled out of bed, the red numbers on the alarm glaring at her. Eight o'clock. They didn't have to go to Asgard until this afternoon. Jane told her that Frigga's funeral had been at night and Loki's would probably be the same.

She sat back on the bed, her breathing shaky.

She screwed her eyes tightly shut.  _Not going to have a panic attack,_ she told herself firmly. Though she still hadn't had one in years, she'd come closer of late than ever. Her heart would speed up, her throat would close and her limbs would tingle as they began to go numb. To her surprise, she'd mostly managed to stop it getting further than this though a few times she'd also started to hyperventilate.

She dragged in air through her nose, held it for a few seconds and blew it out through her lips.

She felt her heart rate slow again.

In her mind she saw flashes of memory: a black dress, a wooden coffin, the monotonous drone of someone who didn't even know Izzy lament her loss.

Bloody palms and scratched skin.

Darcy hadn't cried at Izzy's funeral. She'd sat there, numb to the world and empty.

But her nails had scratched herself raw.

Darcy brought her hands to her face, pushing her hair with shaking fingers out of her face. This wouldn't be that bad. It couldn't be. People went to funerals, it was a normal thing to do. They all coped. She'd be fine.

 _Maybe it's me,_  she pondered.  _Izzy...Loki...Jane and Matt are the only close friends that have survived knowing me. So far, at least. Give me a few more years and we'll see._

She pushed herself up, knowing that Jane would wonder where she was if she stayed in her room much longer and the last thing she needed was her to book more therapy.

She hadn't given any thought to what she would wear tonight so decided she should have breakfast before deciding.

When she entered the kitchen, however she saw Thor sat at the table in her usual seat, shoving as many pop tarts into his mouth as possible and filling any remaining space with coffee. Erik and Ian were nowhere in sight.

"Darcy!" He greeted, after hastily swallowing.

"Hey Thor." She said, sounding slightly weary.

"Darcy," Jane said from the side where a suspicious amount of smoke was rising from the toaster. The smell of burnt food was so normal now that Darcy had stopped doing the cooking that she hadn't noticed it. "We-"

"Jane," Darcy interrupted. "Toast."

"Shit!" The physicist swore, swinging round and popping the toast up. Had they not just come out of a toaster, Darcy would have wondered what the black bricks in Jane's hands were.

She waited patiently while Jane threw the toast into the bin and popped new bread into the toaster. The toaster had a timer. How Jane had still managed to burn it Darcy did not understand.

"Anyway," Jane said, spinning round and looking slightly flushed. "We aren't leaving until five."

"Okay." Darcy said, filling up the kettle and wondering if she'd be able to make her coffee Irish without Jane noticing. Deciding she wouldn't and that to do so would only cast more suspect on her already doubted mental health, she gave herself an extra tea spoon of sugar instead. She'd been a bit too distracted to appreciate most of England but this was definitely one she'd noticed: coffee made with a kettle tastes much nicer than filter coffee.

It felt like a betrayal to admit anything tasted better than that.

"They'll expect you to wear Asgardian clothes." Jane said. "Thor brought some over."

Darcy sent Thor a quizzical look. He wasn't exactly the type she'd imagine to be considerate enough to remember to bring them clothes.

"My mother's former chamber maids reminded me that it may be...necessary." Thor explained. "Apparently she held your separate wardrobes in her own room." 

His voice had gone very steady like he was forcing calmness.

"Your stuff's there." Jane said, nodding to a pile of clothes that rested on the arm of the chair. It looked like all the clothes she'd had in the cell with Loki.

She nodded slightly, trying not to think too much of the memories associated with them.

Darcy poured cereal into a bowl and ate it silently while Thor and Jane discussed arrangements for tonight. They would get the bifrost to Asgard at five and go straight to the edge of the bridge for the funeral ceremony. Afterwards they would return to the palace where a feast would be held in Loki's name. At some point they would be shown their chambers. They would be staying for two or three days, Jane was yet to decide.

It was obvious that they were stretching out the conversation. Darcy got the message they were trying to hide anyway, neither of them being the most subtle person in the world. They wanted to be alone, presumably to run straight to Jane's room to celebrate being back together.

Darcy finished her cereal quickly. "I'm going back to my room."

"Oh but..." Jane looked worried. Darcy was getting very irritated with that look of concern. It was like she expected her to burst into tears at any moment. With the exception of the day he'd died, Darcy hadn't cried in front of anyone.

"To read." She clarified.

"Oh okay then." Jane looked considerably happy and sent what she probably felt was a subtle smile to Thor.

And Darcy did read. She'd picked up some books when she'd gone out for clothes on a rare whim of motivation, carefully avoiding anything which could possibly mention magic. This mainly resulted in a lot of classics which she hoped were safe.

So she spent the day reading  _The Fountainhead_  where the only magic was found in art.

At three she decided it was okay to start to get ready. She knew it was extremely early but she wanted to look hot enough that Loki would cry in Valhalla for not being with her.

She showered and spent a long time doing her hair because she'd let it get into a right state over the past few weeks. She wished she had some of that magic curl and dry shampoo from Asgard but resigned herself to the fact she'd have to do it manually.

Deciding it would be best to be dressed before properly styling it, she wandered to the pile of clothes she'd laid on her bed.

She began to rifle systematically through them. They all appeared to be ones she'd worn before. That was, until she reached the bottom dress.

She lifted it up, allowing it to fall out of its neat folding. It was low cut with short sleeves that would fall just off her shoulders. Unlike most Asgardian dresses, instead of flaring out it fell straight, tight at the top and falling to the floor in an elegant swirl.

None of this was what made Darcy's eyes linger on it, however. No, what captivated her attention was the fact it was a rich, dark green. Black beads had been stitched onto it, shimmering in the light. Her fingers traced the silky material, marvelling at how heavy it was.

It was certainly not standard funeral attire but to her it seemed perfect.

Thor said it had been in Frigga's room but she'd never seen it. Was it truly a coincidence that a dress of Loki's colours had been found with her others?

She shook such thoughts from her mind and pulled it on, her fingers lacing up the back with ease of practice. She pulled the gold plates and cuffs out of her drawer, having worn them out of Asgard.

She resisted the urge to look in the mirror immediately, instead waiting for her hair and make up to be done so that she could see the effect in full.

She switched her curlers on, thankful that Jane had brought them from New Mexico. She did her make up while she waited for them to heat up, realising as she did so that she hadn't worn makeup in months, not since New Mexico.

It was shocking she still managed to successfully handle eyeliner. Not that she was complaining because that one skill had taken her long enough to master.

By the time she was finished, perfume, hair, makeup, bag, everything ready, it was quarter to five. She turned to her mirror which was on the door of her closet.

She grinned in satisfaction, she looked like she belonged on Asgard. Her hair was pinned into an elaborate knot on the back of her head, a few curls left to frame her face. Her eyes scanned her outfit: green, gold and black. The colours suited her, making her blue eyes look more teal and bright.

How desperately she wished Loki could see her.

She reached for her clutch before realising she had no need for her mobile or money on Asgard and left it instead on the bed as she went downstairs.

Thor and Jane were waiting for them, Thor wearing his usual clothes and Jane in a beige Asgardian dress, looking stunning but slightly apprehensive on Thor's arm.

"Wow." Jane said as Darcy entered.

"Thanks." Darcy said, blushing.

"Shall we move outside?" Thor asked.

They followed him out the door, thankful that, for once, it had stopped raining.

"So does Heimdall know when to-" Darcy's question was cut off as she was pulled into the air. Her breath caught in her throat, wind rushing past her as she rushed upwards in a swirl of colour.

She thought she'd travelled on the bifrost before, when they'd taken her and Loki back to Asgard. That had been just like travelling with Loki though so they must have transported her a different way. That or she'd been too scared and shocked to notice the rainbow surrounding her.

Her feet stumbled against floor and she threw her arms out in an attempt to steady herself. The gold room was spinning.

"Heimdall." She heard Thor greet.

"It takes some getting used to." Jane said shakily at Darcy's side. Darcy laughed nervously in agreement. Being sick on arrival in Asgard would probably not be a good start.

"They await you." Heimdall said.

"Thank you." Thor said.

The room had stopped spinning and she managed to walk in a fairly straight line after Thor, Jane at her side rather than Thor's for which she was thankful.

It had registered once more what she was here for: Loki's funeral.

They stepped out of the observation room or whatever it was and onto the bifrost. It was night, the stars shining above and casting Asgard into a hazy beauty Darcy found even more breathtaking than the glittering city she'd seen before.

Only the Bifrost remained lit, the colour itself gleaming like it didn't know it was night.

Darcy wondered vaguely how night and day worked on Asgard given that the planet wasn't round and didn't orbit a sun or anything.

She could ask Jane later, she planned on studying the qualities of a disk planet as soon as she finished with Einstein Rosen Bridges.

She followed Thor onto the bridge and walked to the city, remembering when she'd walked with Loki.

_Oh God, are you getting nostalgic about being arrested?  
_

_Yes_. She replied _. I miss him_ , she admitted to herself though that was perhaps an understatement.

When they reached the end of the bridge, Thor led them not towards the palace but to the edge of the water where she saw a crowd of people.

They looked mournful, tears gleaming on cheeks as they spoke in hushed tones.

Darcy bit her lip to stop from crying. She'd never expected so many people to come out to say farewell to Loki, not given who he was. But she supposed immortals must be willing to forgive change far more easily than humans, they had after all adapted to Thor when he was no longer an arrogant prince.

Or maybe it remained the fact that Loki was a prince. Or maybe they mourned on behalf of Thor and, her blood boiled at the thought, Odin who had lost two members of their family.

They hushed as they approach. At first Darcy thought it was because of Thor but the people began pointing to her and Jane.

"I guess they don't get a lot of mortals here?" Darcy whispered to Jane.

"I think we're the first in a while." Jane whispered back, smiling at the crowd.

Darcy couldn't bring herself to join her, instead looking forlornly about and thinking how much Loki needed to see his own funeral.

They reached the front, water glistening in darkness in front of her.

Thor handed her what at first she thought was a lantern but realised quickly was pure light. It warmed her hands pleasantly, comforting as she tried not to cry.

From somewhere, music began. It was the most beautiful noise Darcy had ever heard. It was light and sad; it seemed to speak of the loss of Loki and reflected the way she had felt so recently. But it was also comforting, speaking of Loki's life and, despite his mistakes, how he had died valiantly and of every good thing he had ever done in his life.

Tears spilled out of her eyes and she sent a silent thank you to whoever had invented waterproof make up.

Darcy saw Sif and the Warriors Three a short distance away, to her surprise all, Sif included, looked upset.

The music grew louder and she looked round, expecting someone to say something. She saw Odin a short distance away, his face stoic and expressionless.

She sent a questioning look to Jane who shook her head slightly. No one would talk.

The music filled her ears and she realised they didn't have to; it was already beautiful enough without it.

Instead she said her own silent prayer as she looked out across the inky water, reflecting the stars that must have seen countless funerals. The music lifted.

The stars would have seen it all: love and life and pain and death. They must grow weary even of the immortals.

The music swelled, the melancholy chords stretching out across the crowd.

Thor nodded at someone Darcy couldn't see and she watched as a boat, filled with flowers was pushed out. Loki lay in the middle of it, his eyes closed. His skin could have been grey because of the moonlight and he could have been resting.

But there was a stillness to death. The absence of the chest rising, the eyelashes still. And it clung to Loki. She felt the first of her tears fall from her chin.

Someone sent a flaming arrow towards the boat and Loki went up in a swirl of fire.

The boat reached the waterfall, Darcy waited for it to fall but it instead scattered into light, rising into the stars. It was beautiful. She was reminded of the fireworks at Disneyworld, the way Loki had looked as they lit up his face and felt the warmth from the light in her hands fluctuate as though it sensed her sudden sadness.

Around her people lifted their globes up and they floated in the air, filling the sky. Darcy raised her own.

 _I hope you find peace in Valhalla, Loki_ , she thought as the globe through from her hands.  _God only knows you deserve it._

They watched in silence as the last of the light faded away. And then as though given a signal Darcy could not see, everyone dispersed.

"They will go back to the palace for the feast." Thor said, his voice slightly hoarse. She saw with shock that he had tears glistening in his eyes. Her stomach twisted at the sight. Thor, the warrior who had saved New York, who had watched his brother die with regret on his face, was not supposed to cry.

Darcy nodded. She couldn't help but feel slightly disappointed; the funeral beautiful though it was didn't seem enough. But then she wondered if anything would be.

She followed Thor, focusing on not tripping over the hem of the dress.

"Why didn't Odin say anything?" Jane asked. "He did at your mom's..."

"It took long enough for me to convince him to allow a funeral for Loki to be held." Thor said. "A public memory of the son who...well you are familiar with what occurred. I believe he hoped that by not saying anything it would not be such a large event."

"What?" Darcy asked angrily. "He wanted people to just ignore Loki's death?"

Thor shrugged. "He is conflicted over the events...forgiveness is not something which comes naturally to him."

_Darcy folded her arms across her chest. How could he? Loki had died and he wouldn't even speak at his own son's funeral? The bastard. The complete and utter bastard._

At that moment a man clad in the gold armour of the guards walked up to them.

"What is it?" Thor asked as the guard opened his mouth.

"My liege," The guard knelt. "The Allfather has requested an audience with the mortal."

Thor and Darcy turned to Jane.

She looked confused. "Me? But why?"

"Forgive me," The guard said, still kneeling. "I believe he referred to the other, the one who was held in the dungeons."

"Me?" Darcy asked in surprise. "Why?"

"As to that I cannot say, my lady." He said. Lady? Last time she'd met one of those guards they'd thrown her in a cell. Now she was getting 'My lady' from them?

Thor opened his mouth to protest.

"No." Darcy interrupted him. "The Allfather wants to see me? Great, I've got a few things I want to say to him myself."

"Darcy," Jane warned. "Don't say anything-"

"Beware what you say-" Thor started at the same time.

"He threw me in the dungeons." Darcy interrupted, raising her voice above theirs. "I'm saying what I like. Show me." She said to the guard who stood and started forwards. "I'll be fine." She told them before following the guard.

He didn't say anything as they walked back to the palace. Darcy was too angry at Odin to take in much of the scenery but she felt the people of Asgard watching her.

They stopped outside of the great golden doors of the throne room. She knew the feast was happening somewhere in the very palace but the room was silent as the grave.

The two guards on either side of the door opened it and she stormed in. Odin was sat on his throne, legs stretched in a way that reminded her of Loki so much she wanted to punch him for having the nerve to sit like his son.

"What?" She snapped at him as she stormed in, the words filled with such hatred she half expected him to flinch.

He stared at her as she approached, not responding to her comment. When she reached the front of his throne he tore his gaze from her, looking at the guards.

"Leave us." He commanded. They hesitated before leaving.

Darcy's stomach flipped.  _Shit, what if he'd sent them out to kill her or something._

Well there's no point in stopping now. "Why am I here?" She demanded. "You summon me to what? Insult  _him_ more?" This was, she thought, the only explanation. "Well you know what? Fuck you. Loki was twice the man you could ever hope to be, worth a thousand more than scum like you."

As she watched a slight smirk stretched across his wrinkled lips like her comments amused him, only serving in infuriating her more.

"Is that," His deep voice grated across her skin. "How you greet your king?"

She felt herself flush with anger. "No see I would greet you by sticking a knife in your gut but I'm told that would be somewhat hostile."

To her surprise he laughed, grinning. He stood up and she had to refrain from stepping back, certain he would strike.

His eyes scanned her up and down and she felt a wave of repulsion.  _Jesus Christ, he was pervy._

He took a step towards her and as he did so his whole body shimmered with green light. He took another, his clothes turning darker.

And in an instant where Odin had stood was Loki.

Her breath caught in her throat as she stared at him, eyes wide. He continued walking towards her, grinning.

Her heart hammered in her chest, her brain unable to comprehend what she was seeing as her body responded.

_Loki? No he couldn't be, he's dead. But it is. It is him. How? How? How?_

He was in front of her by the time her dry lips managed to choke out words.

"Loki?" She whispered, staring at him through widened eyes.

"Yes." He said with a smile, lifting her hand to his lips. His fingers on her palm. Real. Solid. Here. She was in too much shock to react as he brushed his lips against them.

"H-h-how?" She choked.

He laughed, the sound sending goosebumps over her skin. He couldn't be. But he was. "Am I alive?" He asked. "I think that matters not."

"How are you alive?" She demanded, her voice hardening as she at last managed o grasp what was happening.

"Very well." He said with a grin, taking a step back from her so he could see her better, his green eyes hovering over her. "I healed the wound of the Kursed and created an illusion of a further wound."

Her heart beat so violently in her chest it was a wonder he couldn't hear.

"What?" She asked, her mind spinning. "You faked it?"

"Yes." He said, a smile playing on his face.

And she wasn't quite sure when she decided to do it but her fists were connecting with every part of him she could reach.

"What are you-" Loki protested, trying to block her blows. It was ridiculous of course because if he'd wanted he could probably have flung her across the room.

"You-bastard!" She screeched at him, punctuating each word with a punch. "You- complete- and- utter-asshole!" She continued to screech profanities at him.

He took a few steps back and she brought her fists to her side, physically shaking with anger. "I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!" She screamed, the words being wrenched from her mouth to fly at him like bullets. "YOU LET ME THINK YOU WERE DEAD! YOU BASTARD!"

He was still smirking,  _that arrogant douchebag!_  "I thought you might be pleased I lived, not angered!"

She fought to regain control of her voice. "You think I'm angry because you're alive?" She hissed. "I've been praying for this! At four in the morning when I couldn't sleep because I was too busy missing you because you, the fucking dick that you are let me think that you were dead!"

She couldn't deal with it. She'd had nightmares of his death, woken clawing at the empty space on the bed next to her, cried so much that rivers would dry up in jealousy. And all that time he'd been here, alive.

"What is the difference?" He asked in confusion.

"The difference between me thinking you were dead and thinking you were alive?" She snarled, furious he even had to ask. "Did you hear me?" She screamed.

"You were there! You faked your death? Did you hear me screaming for you? Did you hear me crying? You bastard!"

"Darcy I had to," He hurried to explain. "In order to secure the throne. I had to let them think I was dead."

"Oh well if it was for the throne!" She spat sarcastically. "Is that really all you care about? Is the throne more important to you than I am?" She asked, her final sentence wavering with doubt.  _Was she more important to him?  
_

His smile fled from his face, he was glaring at her as though angry she did not understand. "I was not aware," He said coldly. "That I had to choose."

"What you thought I would be okay with this?" She asked, verging on hysteria.

"Why not?" He demanded, walking taking a step in her direction. "Do you not see what I am offering you? Stay here. Join me in Asgard."

She laughed scornfully. "What as your mortal whore while you rule the realm?"

This time he truly did glare at her, anger flickering in the black pits of his eyes. "You know full well that you are far more than that."

"Do I?" She asked. "Because that's really the impression you gave me! And in case you haven't noticed, you're kind of impersonating Odin. What would they say when your dad got a mortal consort?"

"You believe me to take notice of what the common people think?" He asked, his lip curling.

"And what about Thor?" She asked.

"He I care about even less!"

"Bullshit!"

"Excuse me?"

"Bull-shit." She enunciated. "Don't you fucking dare give me that crap. You care about Thor."

"I tried to-"

"Kill him?" She laughed, her voice like daggers. She wanted to cause him as much pain as he'd caused her. "You faked your own death. And in your last words you apologised. Because no matter how much you deny it you crave his love, his acceptance, his forgiveness. If you didn't you would have used your death to spite him! To let him know how your final thoughts of him were filled with hatred. Because underneath everything Loki, you want your brother back."

She'd never seen him look so angry.

"This is not about Thor!" He spat, breathing heavily as though forcing himself to be calm. "This is about you."

"You think I'd stay?" She asked. "Tell me Loki, where's the real Odin? Dead? Tortured?"

"In the dungeons." Loki replied, jutting his chin out. "A prisoner in his own home just as I was. I have of course charmed him to resemble a prisoner."

"Am I supposed to be proud of you for that?" She asked in disgust. As much as she hated Odin...no she did want him punished but not like this.

"For offering you the chance to join me in the realm eternal?" He asked in disbelief that she could look down upon such an offer.

"While you do what?" She spat. "Rule?"

"It is my  _birthright_." His own gaze was menacing.

"Birthright?" She repeated. "Birthright? Don't make me laugh! You don't deserve the throne! You don't know what to do with one. I know you, Loki. The fun's in the game not in the winning. In all in the tricks to get it, you don't give two fucks about ruling just about kicking everyone else to the ground on the way. You risked everything for that throne!"  _Including me,_  she thought bitterly. "And I give you two weeks before you get bored and risk losing it all just to enjoy yourself again."

"I will be king." His eyes were slits.

"Once perhaps. Maybe once you could have been happy with the crown. Not now. No because the thrill is in the chase for you."

"You are wrong. Darcy," He said her name gently, stepping towards her so that he was but a step away. His eyes trailed up her dress and she realised who had arranged for it to be sent to her. And she'd consented, worn his colours. His mark that she was his.

She felt...betrayed.

"Stay with me." He begged, his eyes finding hers. Pleading with her. "Here."

Parts of her raged at war with herself. Half of her yearned to say yes, to run to his arms and dissolve in his kisses. Half wanted to stamp through his heart with her stiletto and dance in the blood.

"I can't do this." She said, her voice barely audible. She shook her head, he'd hurt her too much. She'd been pushed back to the precipice she'd lived on after Izzy's death. Consumed by sadness and loneliness and he'd caused that. "I can't do this." She repeated. She turned away and started to walk away.

"Darcy!" He called out. "Why not?"

Tears were filling her eyes, her blood pumping quickly. How could he ask that? How could he? Her blood boiled. Did he not understand what it was like thinking he was dead? Was he that incapable of empathy? Was he that inconsiderate that he couldn't even realise how much he'd put her through.

She turned, opening her mouth to scream all this at him.

"Because I love you!" She shouted instead, the words tearing free of her lips before she'd even thought them.

The room was silent, the stone cold. The only sound was her heart racing in her chest, her breath coming short and sharp. She realised only as the echoes of her words died out that they were true. That she meant them. She had never thought them before but she felt their truth with a sort of undeniable certainty that she had never before experienced. She shuddered, her certainty in their truth overwhelming her. The silence seemed to last an eternity, a thousand beats of her heart filling the gap.

"Oh my god," She whispered with dawning comprehension. "I love you."

Loki had frozen at her words. Now his eyes moved to hers, walking towards her. The corner of his lips twitched, his eyes creasing as he smiled.

"Darcy," He said gently, saying her name as though it were a caress. "Is that not even more reason to stay?"

"No." She replied.

"Why?" He asked, his smile disappearing into a frown of confusion.

"Because...because loving you is stupid. You...you don't care."

"That's not true-" He began t protest.

"Yes it is," She replied simply, her voice icy. "Loving you is just going to get me hurt."  _It has already,_  she thought as she remembered her last fortnight of agony. 

"I can't...I can't love someone who puts me through this. I can't love someone who would play with my emotions like that."

His eyes burned into hers, begging her to stop. To forgive him. To love him.

Her tears stung her eyes.

She couldn't be his play thing to exploit whenever it suited him. He'd let her think he was dead, how could he manipulate her like that?

"I can't do this." She repeated, unblinkingly.

She wondered if she would be able to get Heimdall to send her back to Earth. She refused to look away from his eyes, knowing it would be the last time she saw them.

Before her swam words from the book she'd read only that morning, fully appreciating just how beautiful and heartbreaking they were. She met his green eyes, memorising every single detail of them.

' _I could die for you, but I couldn't and wouldn't live for you'_ , she thought as she looked at the need in his eyes.

"We're over." Her words rang in the room like they rang in her ears, the implications deafening.

This time when she turned away from him, he didn't try to stop her.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Disenchanted by My Chemical Romance. I'm kind of overwhelmed by the amount of reviews I got on the last update because I seriously never thought anyone would read this but thank you so much, you are the most adorable people ever and your feedback means the world. And thank you too even if you only read because if you're still reading it at chapter forty two, I'm assuming you like it. And thanks for being so patient with the gaps between updates, only two more months of exams.


	43. Last Days of Silence

Heimdall had indeed sent her back on the bifrost, not even asking her why she was leaving so early. She landed on the burned gold imprints of runes that decorated the paving stones in their garden and ran inside.

Ian and Selvig were watching soccer on the TV and didn't even look up as she entered. She ran upstairs and threw the stupid green dress on the floor, tears already on her cheeks.

 _Have you not cried enough?_  She thought angrily.

She pulled the pins out of her hair and wiped her make up off, feeling ridiculous and threw on pyjamas instead.

She went to sit on the bed but decided she really needed alcohol so went downstairs to find wine. Ian and Selvig had gone to bed so she poured herself a glass of wine, grabbed a tub of Ben and Jerry's and sat on the sofa under her old purple blanket.

She turned the TV on, flicking for something decent to watch. It was fairly late and most of it was teleshopping programmes so she settled for some British programme she didn't really understand but it featured a hot guy with some very great hair in a suit who seemed to be running round London after aliens. There was a blonde girl with him and another guy in a trench coat who was also good looking. It was okay, she supposed, until they all climbed into a police box.

God, British TV was weird.

Anyway she wasn't really paying much attention to it, just focusing on the creamy goodness of the ice cream and focusing on the hair of the man on TV to stop from thinking about what had just happened.

How did someone deal with thinking the man they loved was dead, finding out he'd faked it and didn't care about how you felt thinking he was dead, broken up and then had to keep all this secret lest he get thrown back in prison for usurping his dad?

_When did my life get so complicated?_

_"I love you!"_  She thought of the words she'd screamed at him and drew her legs closer to her chest. She hadn't intended to say them, hadn't even  _thought_  them before.

But there was no doubt in her mind that they were true.

Fuck.

Darcy had never gone out with anyone she' d ever liked enough to be upset about when it ended. In fact she'd ended every one of her relationships when she'd got bored. And technically she'd ended whatever she had with Loki but he'd provoked it. She still felt like he'd broken up with her.

It felt like a physical piece of her was missing. And not just missing, like someone had torn it out of her chest and left a gaping bleeding hole. Before she could stop it, tears sprang from her eyes in a steady stream so that she was full on sobbing.

The door behind her burst open and she turned to see Jane walk into the room. 

“Why are you back here?” Jane asked, looking at Darcy’s form on the sofa.

Darcy took a startled, gasping breath and wiped away the tears, forcing herself to calm down. “The funeral was too much.” She lied smoothly. 

Jane's eyes remained on her for a moment before she nodded. "Give me a second." She said, walking upstairs.

Confused, Darcy returned her attention back to the TV. Apparently Mr Hot Great Hair Guy also had a glowy blue stick. Jesus, like she needed to find another guy with one of those attractive.

A few minutes later, Jane returned. Her hair was pulled into a ponytail and she too was in pyjamas.

"Budge up." She said, sitting on the sofa and pulling pat of Darcy's blanket over her.

"Uh why are you not in Asgard?" Darcy asked.

Jane looked at her as though the answer was obvious. "You left. And then Heimdall said you'd come back and given that you'd been in a meeting with Odin...well Thor went to talk to him and I came back to check you were okay."

"I'm fine, you should have gone back."

"Yeah you sure look fine with your ice cream and...are you watching Doctor Who? That is so not the kind of show I imagined you liking." Jane said as the TV caught her attention.

"It was just on." Darcy said shrugging though she had to admit, once she got past the ridiculous premise of the show it was kind of good.

"So what happened with Odin?" Jane asked.

Darcy shrugged, picking at a stray thread on the blanket. "He just told me that he wasn't going to throw me back into the dungeons. He just took a long time to say that."

"And you left because..."

"He just didn't seem to care about Loki. It was upsetting." Darcy was wondering when she'd learnt to lie so well.

"And now?" Jane asked.

Darcy sighed. She faced a very difficult problem. She had to somehow get over breaking up with Loki whilst appearing to the outside world that she was getting over his death.

She had no idea why she was keeping the fact he was alive a secret. She didn't want to dwell on her reason, certain that it would probably not be compatible with getting over him.

"I don't know. I feel better. Calmer." And she did though that was only because he was now alive and a dick rather than dead and...well still a dick but not quite so much. "I think I'll be okay." She said with a sigh before smiling at the physicist.

Jane smiled too and Darcy felt happy that Jane didn't think she was lying about that. She felt like Jane had doubted everything she'd done recently.

"You really cared for him." Jane said, not a question. "Loki...God if I'd told you that a year ago what would you have said?"

"I would have asked if I could take whatever you were on." Darcy said. She rubbed the palms of her hands across her face. "Urgh." She sighed, letting her hands fall to her lap. "I'm just...a stupid girl that fell for a god."

Jane smiled slightly. "We could form a club."

A short laugh escaped Darcy's lips. "A girl band." She suggested.

"We'd be famous." Jane grinned.

"At least you had the good sense to fall for the God of Thunder." Darcy added. "The future king and what not, I got the evil one."

At that moment the door opened again, wind outside howling. Thor walked in, hair looking slightly damp. Darcy supposed it was raining then.

"What did he say?" Jane asked.

"He refused to speak to me." Thor said, looking at Darcy, not Jane. "He retreated to his chambers and has not emerged."

"He didn't go to his own son's funeral feast?" Jane asked in shock.

Darcy tried not to look guilty, tried not to look like she knew it was Loki sulking over their break up rather than Odin being a shit dad.

"Darcy what did he say to you?" Thor asked. Darcy repeated what she'd told Jane.

Thor frowned. "That is most unlike him."

"You're telling me." Darcy muttered.

"Are you going?" Jane asked.

"I must, without father...well one of us must be present. I shall return tomorrow."

Jane nodded and Thor left.

Jane looked back at Darcy, a serious expression on her face. "Right, if we're doing girls night, we're doing it properly. I'll get the popcorn, you choose the film."

 

Darcy had her therapist appointment a few days later. She went, rambled a bit about how much she missed him: not having to lie at all, just adapt it a bit. The therapist nodded sympathetically. Darcy told Jane that she hadn't helped at all and Jane, seeing how much Darcy had improved since Asgard, reluctantly agreed that she didn't have to go anymore.

It wasn't that she wasn't upset because she was; it was just so much less to what she'd been feeling for the past two weeks that she could almost convince herself it was happiness.

She was no longer in catatonic mourning, just sad break up mode.

A week after the funeral Darcy had decided she had to move on with her life, which was kind of hard given that she was living in a new country.  
She opened her emails, finding herself shocked as she did so to find a string from Skye.

_Darcy, holy shit tell me the rumours of you being kidnapped aren't true. Tell me you are safe at home and not in prison on Asgard. Shit. Email me as soon as you get this. Skye._

_Okay apparently you are in Asgard. No chance you get cell signal up there?P.S. SHIELD are going ape shit over Asgard not removing the magic (which I totally don't know anything about if they ask but yeah, your file was kind of irresistible, his too) and returning you. Working to try and get you back, if you are reading this then Fitzsimmons send their love._

_Darcyyyy! You're back! Don't get me wrong, I'm insanely happy but just a quick question: could you not have made a less spectacular entrance? Only we just spent the entire morning cleaning up after you and your Asgardians. We have to meet up so you can tell me all about life on Asgard. Also want me to get my friend to start your hacking course again? She said you're her most talented pupil since me so that's saying a lot because I'm awesome. Okay let me know._

_Shit. I'm sorry. I just heard about Loki, are you okay? I know how much you...well yeah how are you holding up?_

_Darcy please reply, I'm getting worried._

_Heard you went to Asgard for the funeral. Please just reply so I can know you're okay._

Darcy felt a twinge of guilt as she read them, not realising just how much she'd put her friend through. And just how much she'd missed her friends.

She opened a new email to reply, telling her that she was fine and that she'd love to start the hacking course again. So much had happened on Asgard that it felt odd to be contemplating her future at SHIELD again, though oddly comforting.

She phoned Matt as well, feeling insanely guilty about not talking to him. She was on the phone with him for two whole hours discussing Asgard and SHIELD and everything she'd missed on Earth. He obviously knew she was upset and cheered her up the only way he knew how: incredibly lame jokes. By the time she hung up her sides ached from laughing.

The labs in London were a lot nicer than the ones in New Mexico. For one they were above the ground and they didn't have glass walls. Other than that they were fairly standard.

Jane and Erik were conferring on all things science while Ian ran around them like an excitable puppy. Darcy sat in the corner on one of the computers, biting her lip in concentration as she tried to wrap her head around firewalls. She'd mastered all the programming stuff so now she was starting on hacking. Frankly it was making her head hurt.

 _You can't expect to master hacking in a few months_ , she told herself.

She glanced up, watching the other three gathered in the opposite corner and then around at the empty laboratory. It was only with Loki gone that she'd noticed how much difference he made to the speed of their work.

God she missed him, she needed someone to make sarcastic comments with.  
 _No, no,_  she told herself firmly,  _he was a dick. You're better off without him.  
_

_I don't feel better off without him.  
_

_Yes that's because you're in the whiny annoying stage of break up._

She returned back to the sheets she'd been sent on the structure of the internet. Damn it was complicated- apparently there was a lot more to it than just pressing search on google.

Still, she thought with pride, a slight smile flickering on her face, Skye's friend had said she was the best student she'd ever taught. That really was a first in Darcy's life: her politics teacher had mostly got frustrated that offering cookies as a sign of peace was her answer for every political conflict in the world.

Whatever, she obviously had never tasted Darcy's triple chocolate chip cookies. They could definitely bring about world peace.

Jane didn't even bother asking her what she was doing anymore; just accepting that she'd rather stay out of the way.

 _The sooner I finish this course the better_ , Darcy thought.

 

Darcy pulled out the chopping board and propped the recipe she was following up against the toaster.

"Hey." An English voice said behind her, making her jump and almost slice her finger rather than the beef she was supposed to be cutting.

She turned round to see Ian awkwardly watching her as he entered.

"Oh it's you." She said, not admitting who she thought it was. Somehow no matter how long she grew used to England, or how many times Thor visited (every night, God he and Jane were loud) she still associated that accent with someone else.

"You're cooking dinner?" He asked.

"Yep." Darcy said with a grin. "Unless I utterly fail in which case we will be ordering take away."

"Umm don't we have take away every night?" He asked as he got a bottle of coke out of the fridge.

"That's because no one else here can cook." She replied. Give Erik and Jane a cook book and they'd be more likely to make it into a paper nuclear fusion reactor than something edible.

"And you can?" Ian asked.

"Is that scepticism I hear, my dear intern?" She asked. "I will have you know that I am an amazing cook."

"Really?"

"Well no." She answered as she continued to dice the meat. "I'm okay. Compared to Jane and Selvig though I'm Gordon Ramsay."

"Oh." Ian said. "My mum did all the cooking at home. I used to go bird watching with my dad and we'd come back to this amazing pie she'd made."

"What kind?"

"Steak." He said, a dreamy expression on his face.

"You put meat in pies?" Darcy said in disgust. Pies were for fruit. "British people are weird."

"You deep fry hot dogs." He pointed out and she couldn't really disagree with his logic. "And microwave tea."

"So you do science?" She asked to change the topic from Britain versus America.

"Astrophysics at UCL." He said as though that meant something to her.

"Nerd." She replied. Why did she decide to go into a career in science?

Ian looked like he didn't really know what to say. "Well I'll let you get on with...yeah." He said before leaving.

Darcy sighed, wondering why she felt the need to insult anyone willing to put up with her. She shook her head slightly and returned to cooking.

 

It was June in England which meant the sun was shining more often than not and that people outside were wearing summer dresses and clothes. Darcy didn't really get that, it was warm yes but given that she was used to New Mexico this weather could barely be classed as spring.

She went out one weekend to get more summer clothes though. A great mistake as the tubes were sweltering and packed.

The air conditioning in the labs was a lot louder than the barely audible one in New Mexico. Then again she supposed they needed it a lot less so there was no point in buying a better one. It was better than their home though, which having no air-con they settled for flinging the windows open and hoping for a non-existent breeze to float in.

Darcy clicked on the little icon on her computer one morning, her boredom mounting at work. She peeked out from behind the monitor and saw Jane frown at her screen.

Darcy smothered a snicker as she entered more lines of code, causing another cat to appear on Jane's monitor.

Jane glared at the screen before her eyes narrowed in Darcy's direction.

Darcy quickly closed the windows of code and tried her best to look innocent.

"I got a letter a few days ago." Jane said, arms crossed as she spoke to Darcy.

This wasn't quite what Darcy had expected so her shock was not faked. "Saying what?" She asked.

Instead of answering she handed over a sheet of folded paper that Darcy hadn't noticed she was holding.

_To Darcy Lewis,_

_For the final module of your Computer Programming and Hacking course you will require specific equipment. I have mailed this rather than emailed in order to verify the address is correct before posting it. Please reply upon receiving this letter._

_Viper._

She glanced up over the sheet in her hands to look at Jane, her skin burning red. "I don't think this letter is addressed to you." Darcy said, her voice taut.

"It wasn't addressed at all." Jane said. "Blank envelope."

"And you got this when?" Darcy demanded.

"Three days ago."

"And you didn't tell me?"

"The same way you told me you were taking a computer programming and hacking course? Hacking? Seriously? You do know that's illegal, right?" Jane asked.

"I'm hardly going to use it illegally." Darcy said with an eye roll.

"Your teacher's name is Viper." Jane said with distaste as though to point out how this would obviously lead to illegal acts.

"It's a code." Darcy said. Jane raised a pointed eyebrow. "Oh calm down, what do you think I'm going to do, overthrow a government with my hacking ability?"

Jane didn't crack a smile. "Why are you doing it then?"

At this Darcy shrugged and looked away awkwardly, she didn't want to tell Jane it was so she could get a better job. "I just...I hacked that computer in Norway and then I met this woman on the flight back from Oregon who hacked for SHIELD and we got to talking and she said I was a natural at it and put me in touch with her friend who ran the course so I figured I may as well."

"And what are you hoping will come of it?" Jane asked, still looking like she thought Darcy was planning on causing mass-mayhem at SHIELD.

"Uh the ability to redirect you to every time you try and do something on your computer?" Darcy suggested.

"Darcy..." Jane said in irritation.

"Oh fine I thought it might help me here." She said.

"Here?" Jane asked, clearly taken by surprise. "What do you mean?"

"Well I'm no scientist." Darcy said. "Though I'm guessing you gathered that much. And I don't know... I  _am_  quite good at this computer stuff. I thought programming might help. Like if you needed programs or something for building lab equipment."

Jane frowned. "But there are people who work in other departments who do all that stuff."

Darcy shrugged. "Yeah I know but I thought it might make me slightly more useful around here."

"You are useful, Darce." Jane said.

"Yeah but it's not...I mean...I'm grateful and everything but I don't want to be getting you coffee for the rest of my life." Darcy explained. "I thought this way I could still work with you but do something that actually mattered."

Jane remained frowning or a moment before she grinned. "But that's a great idea! Why didn't you say anything before?"

Darcy looked back at her computer screen awkwardly. "I just didn't get a chance."

"You've been doing it since Oregon?" Jane asked. Darcy nodded.

"Well I think it's great that you're doing something..." She trailed off, her unspoken words echoing in the silence nonetheless.  _I think it's great you're doing something other than moping about Loki._

"Yep well I'd better reply to the letter." Darcy said.

Jane nodded. "Wait was that why you were so good with computers all of a sudden?"

"Um maybe." Darcy replied.

"I thought you were just really good!" Jane said. "And you were actually taking a course in it?"

"Excuse you, it's a hard course." Darcy protested, somewhat offended.

"Oh right," Jane said, realising what she'd just said. "Sorry. One more thing, I get programming but why hacking?"

Darcy met Jane's eyes, grinning. "Well that just makes it more interesting."

Jane shook her head in exasperation. "Loki was a bad influence on you."

Complete silence followed her words. Jane only seemed aware of what she'd said the moment the words were out of her mouth and Darcy was hit with another pang of missing him.

 _He's alive_ , she told herself,  _he's alive and he let you grieve for him. He's selfish._

 _So what he was selfish, I still miss him,_  she thought before wincing at how much it reminded her of what people had said about Izzy. That was a very different thing.

"Yeah well..." Darcy said, trying to cover up the awkward silence. "I'll let you know if I have any plans for world domination."

Jane gave her an odd look. Darcy realised she'd surprised her with her handling of the situation. Jane was probably thinking about how she was recovering after his death when in reality she was just overreacting slightly from the break up.

Jane nodded and turned.

Darcy took a deep breath and decided she could make Jane's home page before she logged off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from You Could Be Happy by Snow Patrol. I'm still in shock at the responses to the last chapter, I know it was pretty intense but thanks for your response, you people are the absolute best. I promise there will be more plot soon. Thanks for reading and commenting.


	44. The World Keeps Spinning

"We're moving." Jane told her at breakfast a few months later.

Darcy slowly lowered her spoon back into her cereal bowl to narrow her eyes at her friend. She'd only just got used to life in London (and by life she mainly meant driving), they couldn't move now.

"Where to?" Thor asked from beside her, frowning at Jane.

"New York." Jane said.

Darcy gaped at her friend, struggling between really wanting to go to New York and not wanting to move from London.

"New York?" Thor repeated.

"Yeah you know," Jane said smiling. "That place your brother kind of destroyed."

Darcy tensed involuntarily. Two months and she still wasn't quite over him.

 _Try completely hung up on,_ she thought bitterly.

 _Shut up, brain._  She snapped. It wasn't like she hadn't tried. She'd mastered her computing course in a month trying to distract herself from him. Of course it helped that she was still finding it hard to sleep and programming was something she could do in that time.

Jane glanced at Darcy from the corner of her eyes as she suddenly realised what she'd said. Darcy made an effort to not look bothered.

"What about Erik?" Darcy asked. "Or the intern?"

"Ian has to stay for university though of course he'd be welcome to visit and Erik doesn't trust SHIELD enough to go back to America so he's staying here." Jane said with a nod towards the front room where Ian was still trying to explain to Erik how English football leagues worked.

"I do not understand." Thor said. "Why must you leave London?"

"I need Tony Stark to sort out the energy source. That means we either have to go to New York or Malibu and I chose the former." Jane said. "We're staying with him in Stark tower and he has his own labs there as well so we get a nice break from SHIELD. You'll be able to visit us there, right?"

"Of course." Thor said with a nod.

"And you're okay with it?" Jane asked Darcy.

"Dude, it's New York!" Darcy replied, grinning. "Where next? Paris? Tokyo? God I love this job."

Jane beamed. "Great, Stark's private jet picks us up tomorrow."

Darcy felt her eyes go wide. "Did you just say private jet?"

 

 

When Jane had said private jet, Darcy's hopes had been set pretty high. Nothing could have prepared her for Stark's party jet which looked like it was practically made of money. She couldn't take in all the cool details like the leather seats which reclined into beds or the wall to wall plasma screen TVs. Yep, plural.

The ten hour flight to New York simply wasn't long enough.

They drove to Stark tower when they landed. Darcy couldn't believe it was only three in the afternoon when they'd left that morning. Stupid time zones.

The city had been completely rebuilt since the chitauri attack. No one would ever have guessed Loki had been there.

Stark tower was in the middle of the city, towering above the tops of even the tallest sky scrapers. Stark had never replaced the sign, leaving it as the A which had become the symbol for the avengers. Darcy even saw figures and displays in windows of shops for their figurines, posters...

Jane looked slightly shocked to see plastic versions of her boyfriend.

Unsurprisingly, Loki did not have a figurine. Darcy was glad Loki wasn't there with her; he probably would have gone all moody and sullen at not having his feats recognised.

 _He was moody a lot_ , she thought.

She wondered what he was doing up on Asgard. Thor kept saying his dad was keeping to himself out of grief for Frigga. Did he have time for missing her what with missing his mom? Would he even miss her anyway? He'd cared for her but then he'd...done that...maybe she was wrong. And even so his feelings for her were clearly worth less to him than the throne.

 _Let him go_ , she told herself for the thousandth time.

_I can't.  
_

_Why not?_  She somehow never got round to answering that question but here in New York she felt like if she was going to have a clean start she may as well be honest.

_Because I still love him.  
_

_Even after all he did?  
_

_Yes._  She thought angrily. She would have given anything to not love him like she did.

Maybe that was how he'd felt when he'd first realised he was attracted to her.

She wished she could just forget him or something. She hadn't even looked at another guy in that way since she'd got back from Asgard and that was really saying something because there were some cute guys in England.

 _Maybe that's your answer_ , she thought,  _you need to sleep with someone to get him out of your system.  
_

_Yeah but you had that plan before, remember? When you got your crush on him? Only instead you ended up...yeah brain, I know what we ended up doing._

Darcy groaned, wishing she had a laptop or something so she could distract herself with computer codes.

She shook such thoughts from her mind, the last thing she needed to be doing while near Tony Stark was pathetically mope about Loki.

They walked in to an ultra modern reception area.

"Miss Foster! Miss Lewis!" A woman Darcy recognised as Pepper Potts said as they entered. She was wearing killer heels and a business suit. She was also holding a clipboard.

"Hey." Jane greeted. "And just Jane and Darcy is fine."

Pepper nodded. "Well I'm Pepper."

"Aren't you, like, CEO of Stark Industries?" Darcy interrupted. "What are you doing greeting us?"

Pepper grinned. "I like to personally meet everyone who's staying with us."

"Oh, okay." Darcy said, wondering how she managed to find the time.

"I've sent people ahead to collect your baggage; it should be waiting for you in your rooms. All scientific equipment has been sent to the labs. Come with me, I'll show you where you'll be living." She started briskly walking towards an elevator so Darcy and Jane had to walk quickly to keep up.

"I believe you know Thor?" Pepper asked as the doors closed.

"Yeah well he's kind of my boyfriend." Jane said, somewhat awkwardly.

"Yeah and I just tag along." Darcy said grinning, not wanting to think of her affiliation with his brother.

"Must be a lot of work," Pepper said. "Dating Thor."

"I imagine no harder than dating Tony." Jane mocked with a smile.

Pepper laughed. "I'm sure he could quite easily give the Asgardians a run for their money."

The elevator pinged open and Pepper's heels clacked away on the floor. Darcy glanced from her clipboard to her posture and decided that if anyone in the universe were capable of keeping Tony Stark in line, it would be Pepper.

The halls were blue, the floor made of white tiles. White doors lined either side, all with keypad locks. Pepper led them to two rooms at the very end of the hall.

"These are yours." She said, pressing her hand to each pad so that the doors clicked open. "They're fingerprint controlled."

She pushed open the doors and Darcy saw that the one furthest away had her suitcase in. "Jarvis is on hand in both rooms, just talk and he'll hear you."  _Okay so the room is bugged_ , Darcy thought. She hadn't worried about stuff like that since trying to keep chats with Loki secret. It was August. He'd arrived last September. It had almost been a whole year.

And she thought her life reached its peak of weirdness when she met Thor...

"I'll leave you to get unpacked. I'll be back in about an hour to take you down to the labs." Pepper said.

"Oh quick question," Jane stopped her, her cheeks flushing. "Do you maybe have a roof?"

Pepper looked perplexed though slightly amused. "Yes..."

"It's just...Thor said he would visit later...He can only really transport outside and..."

Pepper laughed. "Yes that's fine. Will the helipad suffice?"

"That'll work, thanks." Jane said before raising her voice slightly. "Hear that Heimdall? Send him to the helipad."

Pepper looked amused rather than concerned for Jane's sanity. "I'll see you in an hour." She said with a nod.

Darcy and Jane went into their separate rooms.

"Holy shit!" Darcy exclaimed as she entered. Her room was huge. Bigger than their house in New Mexico. About the same size as Jane's room on Asgard had been. Against the wall to her right was a king sized bed, modern with a chrome headboard. Opposite, the wall was made entirely of glass, looking out at the New York skyline.

The wall with the door she'd just stepped through was covered in cupboards she assumed were closets. Opposite the bed was a giant TV with sofas set facing it. There was also a miniature kitchen in the corner, a stereo that probably cost more than everything she owned, a desk with a laptop that probably wouldn't come out in stores for three years and so much more tech that she could barely register it. A door near the bed presumably led into a bathroom which when she checked reminded her of the one in the posh hotel she'd stayed in with Loki after Disney world.

The room made modern decor look old fashioned, all of it in shades of blue and white.

She walked over to the window, admiring the view. A sudden thought hit her.

"Does this have blinds or something?" She wondered aloud. "Because that would be really pervy otherwise."

"Yes, Miss Lewis." A posh British voice said as though it were standing next to her. She jumped back as sheets of white chrome fell from the ceiling and rose from the floor to cover the windows, making it look like just another wall. "Anything else I can do for you?"

"I take it you're JARVIS?" She asked, amused.

"Yes, Miss Lewis." The voice said.

"Well it's nice to meet you," She glanced at the computer. "I can only imagine how much programming would be needed to make you."

"It took Mr Stark two days to complete my design, ma'am." JARVIS said. If computer programs could sound prideful then he did.

"Well maybe one day I can be as good as Tony Stark." She said, becoming aware that she was talking to a computer program. "For now though can you leave the windows up, please?"

"Of course, ma'am." He said, the sheets sinking back into their alcoves.

"And uh, can you put some music on?"

"Anything in particular?" JARVIS asked.

"Surprise me." She replied.

To her shock, he started playing her favourite band. She supposed he must have got it from her iPod or something. Grinning she set to work unpacking her belongings which took about twenty minutes.

She spent the rest of the time playing with all her new toys.

A knock on her door made her drop the wii controller she'd been holding.

"Shit, JARVIS turn everything off." She said.

"Yes ma'am." He said, sounding amused.

The TV and music shut off. "Not the lights!" She scolded as she was plunged into darkness.

"Sorry Miss Lewis, perhaps be more specific next time?" JARVIS suggested.

"Don't get sassy with me." She told it.

"Darcy?" Jane's voice called.

"Coming!" She called as she ran towards the door.

"What took so long?" Jane asked as Darcy closed the door behind her.

"I was arguing with JARVIS." Darcy told her and Pepper who were waiting.

"Oh, I thought it was only Tony who did that." Pepper said.

"How can you argue with a computer?" Jane asked.

"Stark needs to phone MIT's artificial intelligence department because I think JARVIS is miles beyond anything they've got." Darcy said. "Serious tech."

"Thank you, ma'am." JARVIS's voice rang out through the hall. Pepper was smirking.

"I can't believe the first friend you made in New York is a computer program." Jane said, amused.

"Yeah well he's much better company than most." Darcy retorted pointedly.

Pepper led them back into the elevator.

"What time is Thor getting here?" Darcy asked.

"Well he said eight so I'm assuming about half ten." Jane replied.

The lift opened into a glass corridor that reminded Darcy of the one at SHIELD. They walked past labs where truly amazing things were going on. Robots were being built, lasers being shot, all the kind of stuff that looked so cool in movies but couldn't actually work in real life.

Pepper smirked at their awed expression.

"I thought you didn't sell weapons anymore!" Darcy asked in shock as she saw someone fire a laser through five inches of metal.

"We don't." Pepper confirmed. "But that doesn't mean we don't still make them. Or research them at least."

"I imagine SHIELD doesn't like that." Jane said.

"They haven't said anything yet." Pepper said.

She led them to the end lab where Darcy saw all their equipment stood assembled. When they entered Stark stood up from where he'd been crouched over the portal, screwdriver in hand.

"What are you doing?" Jane asked, her words coming out quickly.

"I'm improving it." Stark said.

"Excuse me?" Jane asked affronted.

"Look, you've got all the science stuff down. Even I couldn't figure all this out." He said as thought his were some huge compliment. "But your design lacks a certain elegance."

"Right because elegance is what we were going for when we tried to build an Einstein Rosen Bridge Generator." Jane said, her sarcasm shocking Darcy.

"Relax." Stark said, flipping the screwdriver.

"Tony," Pepper said in a tone of warning. "Don't antagonise our guests."

"I think they're my guests." Tony said.

"I'm CEO." Pepper said, smiling. "Stark tower is mine, remember?"

Tony rolled his eyes like a kid being told off by his mom. "Anyway, you've advanced this pretty far." He said with a nod.

"Yeah well it was mainly Darcy." Jane said.

Stark looked at her in surprise. "You?" He said, quirking an eyebrow.

"Don't be so surprised." She told him grinning at him. "I'm awesome."

He looked round. "And where's your fuck buddy?"

"Tony!" Pepper scolded.

"We broke up." Darcy said.

Jane frowned at her then turned to Stark. "Loki died."

 _SHIT!_  Darcy thought furiously.

"Well I mean," She stumbled. "That's one way to break up, right?"

"I guess..." Jane said, looking at her suspiciously.

"When?" Stark asked.

"A few months ago." Darcy said.

"Well I'm sorry to hear it. The guy threw me out a window but I always enjoyed mocking him." Stark said.

Pepper shook her head in exasperation. "I have to go back to work. Try," She begged Tony. "To behave yourself."

"I'll try." He said, winking at Darcy and Jane causing Pepper to shake her head again. He kissed her cheek and she left.

"So how'd old Reindeer Games bite the dust?" Stark asked. Jane looked startled at his frankness but rude though it was, Darcy kind of liked it. It was nice not to have someone tip-toeing on egg shells around her.

"He was stabbed rescuing the Nine Realms from a race of Evil Elves." Darcy said.

Stark looked at her to see if she was joking. "That's going to take some more explanation."

"Later." She said.

"All right so do you want to tell me how you managed to reprogram this entire thing?" Stark asked instead.

She sighed. "Well I hacked into it because I was bored and changed it so that it started flashing different colours, you know disco ball style. Then Jane got mad..." She looked at Jane who still looked furious, her arms crossed at the mere mention of it. "And made me put it back...and I had to use all her notes and stuff but I didn't put it back right."

"She put it back better instead." Jane said, almost proudly.

"Yeah well I have no clue what it is. I just kind of read what she wanted it to do and the individual steps make sense even if I have no idea how it works as a whole." She said.

Stark nodded. "Okay that I get but I mean how did you do it? I thought you were a Sociology major."

"Political Science." she corrected. "And I took a course on hacking and programming." Darcy said.

Stark nodded. "Some course. Right well we should get started."

 

 

Darcy couldn't decide if she liked or hated working with Stark. On the one hand he was hilarious and a welcome distraction from the boring science. Equally, though, he was irritating and openly mocked her and Loki. He obviously didn't mean anything cruel by it but still. She liked him but she didn't know if she wanted to work with him.

He seemed fond of her at least. She supposed there weren't many people who gave as good as they got when it came to him.

They ate dinner that night in Stark's penthouse apartment with Pepper and him. Pepper seemed really nice too, not as intimidating as Darcy would have thought she would have been.

And at night when Jane went to the roof to meet Thor, Darcy returned to her room. She assumed Thor and Jane had gone back to her room but thankfully the walls here were significantly thicker than the ones back in London.

All in all it was a great first day in a new city. She stayed up watching the lights of New York change.  _The city that never sleeps,_  she thought,  _what better place for the girl scared of sleeping to live?  
_

_Well okay, not so much scared of sleeping anymore. I just...can't.  
_

"Jarvis, I don't suppose you can bring sleeping pills?" She asked hopefully.

"In the medicine cabinet in the bathroom, Miss Lewis." JARVIS replied.

She went and got two of the pills, filling a cup with water from the tap.

She climbed into the ridiculously comfortable bed and took a last glimpse of the city before telling JARVIS to block the windows.

 _To new starts_ , she thought as she swallowed the pills.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from High Hopes by Kodaline. Thanks for reading and commenting.


	45. The Man Who Would Be King

Jane swirled her spoon around her bowl of cereal absent-mindedly as she stared out of the window of Stark's penthouse.

"You know you're supposed to eat cereal not mix it, right?" Darcy asked.

Jane looked at her in shock like she'd forgotten they were all there.

"Are you feeling okay?" Pepper asked.

"It's not your time of the month is it?" Stark asked.

Pepper glared at him.

"I know I know," He said before she could rebuke him. "Just because a woman is upset doesn't mean it's a hormonal thing. Normally it means I've refused to sleep with them."

Darcy rolled her eyes. "If you've ever refused to sleep with anyone in your life I'll be shocked."

"Excuse you; I happen to be in a happy and committed relationship." Stark said with a grin in Pepper's direction.

She looked like she was trying not to smile.

"So Jane," Darcy said, returning to her friend who was staring outside again. "Why aren't you eating?"

"I'm not hungry." She said.

Darcy narrowed her eyes at her. "Okay so that means it's love. Love for science or for Thor?"

"Well the bridge is coming along well," Stark said. "Now that you've got professional help. So I guess it's not that."

"So Thor?" Darcy prompted, wondering what was wrong in paradise. Jane and Thor were so cute together it was almost sickening.

"He hasn't visited in three days." Jane admitted reluctantly, looking like she expected them all to mock her.

"Well did he say anything?" Darcy asked.

"That he'd see me tomorrow. Three days ago." Jane said.

"Well he can't be gone as long as he was last time. Two years is hard to top." Darcy said. Jane gave her one of her infamous looks. "Okaaay." Darcy continued, not wanting to suffer another glare. "Well don't get too worried. Odin might have sent him off to some other realm for a while."

"But if he didn't have time to tell me then it might be serious! And he said Odin had been acting really funny lately. What if he's banned Thor from visiting mortals or something?" Jane said, her voice rising.

 _Loki's been acting funny,_  Darcy thought,  _not Odin. What are you up to? I swear if I have to go to Asgard just to slap you then I will._

"If that's the case." Stark interjected. "I suggest we finish building the bridge sooner rather than later."

"True." Jane said, picking up her spoon again.

"And you." Stark said, turning to face Darcy, a mischievous grin on his face.

"What about me?" Darcy asked cautiously.

"It's August." Stark said.

"Yeah I know what the month is, Tony." Darcy said.

"And I know you loved sleeping with the God of Antlers but he's been dead over two months." Stark said.

"Yeah, and?" Darcy said, an edge to her voice. She really didn't want to think about Loki because then she'd have to think about the way her heart skipped a beat at his name even now when she was supposed to be remembering what a complete and utter dick he was.

"And I think it's time you got over him." Stark said.

"Tony," Pepper said, the warning to her voice that only ever tainted it when she spoke to Stark.

"Someone has to say it." Stark replied.

"I am over Loki." Darcy said, firmly. "There was never anything to get over. We were friends, that was all."

She almost started laughing at those words.

"Great." Stark said. "Then you'll be happy to go on a date with Justin from accounts?"

"Hmm let me think about that for a moment." Darcy said sarcastically. "No."

"Why not?" Stark demanded.

"Because I've never met Justin from accounts. And I don't want to go on a date." She replied.

"Come on," Stark said. "It doesn't have to be Justin. How about Josh from administration? Or David in personnel?"

"I don't want to go on a date, Stark." Darcy retorted.

"Why not?" He demanded.

"Because I don't want to, I don't have to justify myself."

"Just one date." Stark begged.

"Why do you care so much?" Darcy demanded.

"Because it pains me to know that someone lives under my roof who hasn't got laid in over two months. I call it taking care of my own." He grinned.

"If I go on a date will you shut up?" Darcy asked.

"Probably not." Stark said. "But I'll stop badgering you to go out with people."

Darcy rolled her eyes. "Fine. But not accounts. Nothing that boring."

Stark grinned. "I'll see what I can do."

 

 

Darcy was under no delusions. The absolute last person she wanted setting her up on a date was Tony Stark.

Nonetheless as she got ready that night she figured she may as well make the most of it. She couldn't just reject all guys forever. It had been two months and she'd heard nothing from Loki, not even the whisper of an apology. It was kind of foolish to keep waiting for one.

She opened her wardrobe to examine the contents.

"Jarvis," She asked. "Do you know where Stark is sending me?"

"A restaurant ma'am." Jarvis said.

"Oh great," She muttered, looking at the fabric hanging in the space. "I have absolutely nothing that's appropriate."

"Miss Potts had some items sent up earlier." Jarvis informed her. "Second closet from the right."

Darcy frowned. Pepper had a killer figure and her taste tended to match that. Darcy doubted anything Pepper liked would look half as good on her.

She walked to the closet and opened it to find that the rack was filled with formal dresses. Darcy pulled one out at random; a red chiffon one that flared out. At least it was a style that suited her. She put it back, not wanting anything red given that the last time she'd worn a red dress it was the Christmas party which was the first time she'd kissed Loki.

Eight months...She realised in shock.

She pulled out a navy lace skater dress instead. To her knowledge she'd never worn anything blue on a memorable occasion with him and the colour suited her well; making her blue eyes brighter.

She straightened her hair because Loki always liked it curly and went for pink lipgloss and minimal eye make up because her chosen looks were heavy eyeliner or bright lipstick.

She slipped on a pair of heels and found a bag that matched the dress in one of the cupboards. Just how long had Pepper spent shopping for her?

 _Well I look nice,_  she thought as she looked in the mirror.  _I mean, I don't look like myself much but new starts and what not._

Maybe she'd dye her hair or something...for a change. Then she realised with hair as brown as hers she'd probably have to bleach it first and there were too many ways that could go wrong.

 _Well here goes nothing_ , she thought as she left her room and headed back to the ground floor.

Outside, a black car with a Stark logo on was waiting for her. She couldn't help but think it was a lot of fuss for Stark to go to just for her to go on a date. Oh well, he had insisted...

She was in the car for around ten minutes, with traffic, before it pulled up outside a restaurant so posh it had a queue leading up to the door.

"Darcy!" A voice called. Its owner was average height with short brown hair, a strong jaw and grey eyes framed by expensive glasses. He looked like one of the models on posters in opticians.  _Wow, well done Stark._  She thought.

"Hey." She said, her awkwardness evaporating leaving her the usual confident person she was on dates. This was her territory. She grinned as she walked up to him, her eyes falling almost as of their own accord to his cheekbones. Nothing spectacular.

Closer to, she saw his eyes were slightly small in comparison to the rest of his face. He was still hot but... _Will you stop thinking of all the things wrong with him?!_ She thought angrily.

She hugged him, he smelt of soap and lynx. His arms seemed awkwardly bent around her. Or maybe she was imagining all that.

"I'm Alex." He said, letting go. He looked at her, his eyes lingering on her boobs for a fraction longer than she would have liked. "You look beautiful." He said. At least he met her eyes when he said it.

Despite herself, she felt a smile creep across her face. "Thanks."

"We should probably go in, I think Stark said he booked a table but I think you have to book really far in advance..." There was doubt in his voice.

"Stark will have managed it." Darcy said.

At that moment a woman ran out from the restaurant. She wore a black dress that clung to her lanky frame and she looked physically exhausted.

"You are here from Meester Stark?" She asked. She had an accent that Darcy couldn't quite place. Maybe Eastern European?

"Yes?" Alex said uncertainly, sending Darcy a quick smile.

"Come right in, please." She said, gesturing for them to follow.

Darcy and Alex followed her into the restaurant, receiving filthy glares from the people queuing.

Darcy had to try not to grin.

Inside, the ceiling was high with crystal chandeliers. Tables were candlelit with white table cloths, about fifty utensils and a single yellow flower in a vase on each table.

The woman led Alex and Darcy to a table in the back next to a large oil painting of a boat on an idyllic ocean.

They took their seats and Darcy reached straight for the wine list. The cheapest was over a hundred dollars.

She smirked. Well if Stark was paying she was going to milk it.

She swapped to the main menu, her eyes falling straight to the most expensive dishes.

A waiter appeared within a few moments, smiling greasily with a thin moustache perched on top of his thinning lips. "May I get you anything to drink?"

"Yeah, we'll take the most expensive wine you've got please." Darcy said.

The waiter frowned at her. "Are you certain, ma'am? That is quite an expen-"

"Tony Stark's paying." Darcy said with a grin.

The waiter smiled and nodded. He asked if they were ready to order the rest, which they were. Darcy was having a lobster cocktail for a starter and steak for her main meal.

"Do you always have tastes this expensive?" Alex asked, amused once the waiter had left.

"I do when Tony Stark is paying." Darcy replied with a grin. "I don't get paid enough."

"You work for STARK?" Alex asked.

"Nah I work for the government." Darcy said. "We're just kind of staying with STARK for a while."

"We?"

"My friend and I. Well technically she's my boss but yeah. Government funded science, we needed Stark's help." Darcy said. "What about you?"

"I work in the IT department." He said with a shrug. "I'd hoped to do something a little more important , you know? But I guess I'll have to work up. IT at Stark Industries though..." He trailed off modestly. Darcy knew what he was hinting at. Stark, or she supposed Pepper, only employed the best.

"IT?" She asked. "So like programming?"

"Well tech support." He clarified. "But my degree was in programming."

"No way! I did a programming course too." True it wasn't a degree but...well she was fairly certain it was at least to that level. Jesus, how had Darcy done it in half a year? She'd never been stupid but she'd never been a high flyer either. She supposed she really must have had a natural talent for programming like Skye had said.

They spoke programming for a while, confirming Darcy's suspicions. She did know more than he did, especially with hacking. She felt almost guilty. Some people spent years learning it and she mastered the skill after a chance plane trip?

Then again after all she'd gone through she supposed she deserved it. Day and night programming. Stupid Loki.

She could tell she was impressing Alex and he seemed to quite like talking to her.

"So do you have Tony Stark arrange all your dates for you?" Alex asked as their main course arrived, their talk on programming having carried them through the first course.

She couldn't really think of a way to answer that wouldn't make it sound like she hadn't wanted to come.  _He's attractive_ , she reminded herself. She was sort of worried that she had to keep reminding herself.

"Not all of them." She said. "So have you lived in New York long?"

He gave her his whole life story about how he'd been raised in New Jersey and then gone to Princeton where he'd been scouted by Stark's people.

It was a boring story she supposed but he told it well, he was one of those people who could probably make mathematics interesting if they used the right tone. Articulate people. She definitely wasn't one of those.

"What about you?" He asked. "What's your story?"

She hesitated. That was long and complex. No straight progression from happy family to college to career to happy family to have kids to continue that wonderful cycle.

 _New starts_ , she thought.

"Indiana." She said, deciding it wouldn't be an outright lie given that her brother lived there. She had some connection to the place at least. "I lived there until I was fourteen." She said, having fun inventing this past and resisting the urge to say something like 'and then I joined the circus.'

"And then we moved to Washington. I majored in political science," She said, not wanting to renounce the degree she'd worked hard for. "At Columbia. Then I interned for Dr Foster and became her assistant."

"And then you did the programming course?"

"Yeah." She confirmed.

"And what about guys?" He asked. "Have there been many?"

She scowled, she always got some variation of this question on dates and it never endeavoured her towards them. Why did guys care? If she'd had guys they were gone. They were competing with ghosts and they still wanted to know how many there were.

She realised with a shock that Loki was probably the only guy she'd dated who hadn't asked some form of the "How many guys have you slept with?" question.

_Probably because he was so arrogant he knew it didn't matter. That he'd be the best.  
_

_Well he wasn't wrong_ , she thought bitterly, wishing she could insult him in that department.

She pondered Alex's question for a second.

 _New beginnings_ , she reminded herself. "No." She answered. "Well nothing serious at least."

This amused her. Loki and she may never have been official but serious was one thing they'd definitely been. Even before they'd slept together there was definitely something serious about a magical bond that meant they literally could not be apart.

"What about you?" She asked.

"My longest relationship? My last girlfriend. Five months." He said.

Okay so he was in the same boat as the imaginary Darcy she was pretending to be.

They carried on talking about insignificant things. Family and interests, that sort of thing.

When they left, they left a tip of thirty percent on top of an already expensive bill. It was all Stark's money anyway and he'd forced her onto the date.

It hadn't been the worst date in the world, she supposed. In fact it would probably have been one of the best if she'd been in the mood for it. But she was struggling to think of Alex in any way other than as a friend.

They walked back to Stark tower because traffic was at a standstill and it was only twenty minutes away.

Very few Stark Industries workers actually lived in Stark tower despite it being easily big enough to house them all. Darcy wondered what other industries and departments Stark and Pepper had in the building if the other floors weren't taken up as accommodation.

Alex was one of the majority with apartments elsewhere in New York.

He kissed her in front of the tower, just a quick brushing of lips.

"I had a great time." She said because she hadn't disliked it and that was the thing to say.

"Me too." He said. The air around them was warm and heavy, the August breeze thick. "Maybe we could do this again some time."

"I'd like that." She said, really meaning that she'd like to like that.

"Stark gave me your number, I'll phone you." He said. She nodded and turned into the building.

Her feet in her heels were killing her so she slipped them off as she walked into the elevator. Her finger was a millimetre from the button for her floor when Jarvis spoke.

"Miss Lewis, Mr Stark has requested your presence in his suite."

"Urgh, can't I go tomorrow?" She asked, the last thing she wanted was Tony Stark grilling her like some hormone crazed teenager about her date.

"I've been given instructors to let you out at no other floor." Jarvis said.

The doors were already shut so it wasn't even like she could take the stairs. And she supposed Jarvis wouldn't let her into her room.

Jarvis was Stark's way of ensuring he got what he wanted. Dammit.

"Fine." She sighed, punching the button for Stark's floor and knowing Jarvis would take her there anyway.

"Why are you back?" Stark demanded, the second the doors opened. "Why are you not in bed with...whoever it was I sent you out with."

Darcy rolled her eyes, seeing that Pepper and Jane were also in Stark's room.

"It was a date. Everyone knows you aren't supposed to have sex until the third."

Stark snorted. "Never did pay much attention to that rule. I actually think I've been on three dates on my life and all of those were with Pepper. I was under the impression you had a similar attitude regarding relationships?"

Sex without relationship. Yep that was Darcy's preferred way. But that was before she got feelings for a certain God that she'd like to replace with feelings for someone else, someone who preferably did not own a horned helmet. So far, at least she hoped, Alex was fitting that description.

"New city," She said, waving her arms around. "I figured I'd give it ago."

"But-"

"Oh she went on your date, Tony." Pepper told him. "Leave her alone."

Stark practically pouted at Pepper. Darcy grinned.

"See, I'm not-"

Her words were cut off by a high ringing noise.

"What's that?" Jane asked.

"Sir," Jarvis said, for a computer his voice sounded awfully strained. "Incoming transmission. Overriding protocols."

Stark swore. "I thought I'd fixed it so they couldn't do that. All right Jarvis, it'll be SHIELD. Play the transmission."

Stark had a TV that made cinema screens look small. At this moment it clicked on, the rest of the lights seemed to dim by comparison.

Fury's face filled the screen and he didn't look happy. "All right," His words were tight, clipped. Like he was being forced to say words he didn't want to utter. "This is going out to all SHIELD employees and affiliated colleagues.

"The world has been under threat too many times lately. The council has decided that we need to stand united, under one rule." Fury glared at something out of sight quickly. "There's going to be a change in how things are run here...and it is my...pleasure...to introduce you to our new leader."

The camera spun and Darcy almost jumped, her heart racing so quickly it may as well not have been beating at all. "King," Loki's familiar voice corrected. "I believe that was what I told you." He turned to the camera, an expression of furious anger and smug satisfaction on his face at once. "If you are seeing this then you ought to be aware that I shall be ruling here. I plan to lead you into a new age, starting here at SHIELD." He sounded charming and persuasive. She felt like she was going to be sick.

"On the most part, things shall run the same. You will be expected to act on the orders of your superiors." Who would be under his control... "You will, all of you, remain where you are until you receive further instructions. Co-operate and you shall be rewarded."

His voice hardened. "However, I know some of you shall react aggressively. I have the control here, access to every weapon, agent and monitoring device in this wretched realm. I will see." And she swore his eyes stared directly into hers at his next sentence, his pupils alight with menace. "I hardly need to warn you what will happen if you attempt to act against me. Know that  _anyone_  who tries to resist in any way, shape or form," A bone chilling smile filled his face. "Shall be destroyed."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from 20 Dollar Nose Bleed by Fall Out Boy. So you all said you wanted Loki back.....Thanks for reading and commenting.


	46. Brush With The Devil

Darcy's heart was racing as the room revolved around her. It was like she could suddenly feel every mile travelled by the Earth as it hurtled round the sun. She expected heads to turn in her direction but they didn't, everyone in the room had their own problems with Loki that they were too busy thinking about to think of any that she might have.

_Loki, oh God what had he done? Loki..._

Everyone looked equally horrified, scared and - though she didn't want to admit it - hopeless. She wiped her sweaty palms on her dress.

Her eyes turned to Stark, his face had gone ashen, his breathing sharp.

 _Fuck_ , Darcy realised,  _Loki might be a fucking trigger.  
_

He took one straggled breath. Pepper's head snapped in his direction and she placed her hand reassuringly on his shoulder.

This seemed to give him some hold. "Jarvis, lock down the building." Stark said. "I don't want any SHIELD members getting in."

Stark turned to face them all. Darcy was having trouble standing still and was pacing.  _What the actual fuck had just happened?_

"We need to get out of here." He said.

"Obviously." Jane replied, her voice somehow calm. "But where? Fury was there...if he really does have control of SHIELD then where can we go?"

"I know a place." Stark said. "Jarvis, send details of Protocol Delta to Romanoff. She's with Cap and Barton, I think. And details to Banner."

"Details to Miss Romanoff sent. Dr Banner has been compromised, sir." Jarvis stated in response.

" _What?_ " Stark spat, he too was walking in circles, his hands wringing together like he was building something with them.

"Dr Banner was in a SHIELD research centre, sir. He was escorted to a holding facility shortly before the message was broadcast."

"Before?" Pepper asked. She turned to Tony. "That means they'll be on their way here already, right?"

Darcy was confused for a moment then realised what they were talking about. Loki ruled SHIELD. He had power again. And what would be the first thing he'd do with that? Get revenge on the people who had shipped him back off to Asgard...

Darcy turned to Jane who looked terrified and realised why. Thor hadn't visited in a while...shit what had Loki done to him?

Anger replaced the blood in her 'd trusted him. She hadn't told anyone he was still alive. And he'd done this! This! His own brother? What the hell had he done? Betrayal stung tears into her eyes but they were tears of fury. What the hell had he fucking done? _  
_

"Right, we are going." Stark said, walking purposefully in the opposite direction to the elevator. They all followed hurriedly, Darcy's stomach twisting in knots at the thought of SHIELD finding Stark.

She wanted to know where they were going but she didn't trust herself to speak. And she didn't want to draw attention to herself. What if they somehow thought she was working with Loki?

Stark flung a door open and Darcy saw that it led to a dingy set of fire escape stairs.

He started running down them and the others followed, Darcy still clinging onto her heels.

Stark's penthouse was on the top floor of the tallest building in New York. Darcy was soon clutching a stitch in her side but the adrenaline kept her going.

"Sir," Jarvis said, for a computer he sounded awfully panicked. "Sir my systems are being overridden."

"Shit, what do you mean?" Stark snapped.

"SHIELD are hacking into my systems, sir."

"They can't hack into your systems! I designed you myself!" Stark sounded slightly offended.

"Well they are sir, it appears your design is fallible." Why had Stark programmed him to be sarcastic?

"Shit, okay..." Stark ran a frantic hand through his hair. He straightened up with resignation. "Delete everything. I don't want them to be able to access anything. Delete the back ups. And the back ups of the back ups. Shut everything down."

"But sir-"

"Jarvis just do it!" Stark snapped. "And then...Jarvis I need you to delete your programming."

There was a pause. "Yes, sir. Pleasure working for you, sir."

"You too, buddy." Stark said. He turned on the women gathered around him, his every muscle tensed. "Just need to wait for..."

At that moment the lights in the stairway turned off, plunging them into darkness. Darcy jumped in fright, wondering if that meant SHIELD were here. Her hand clutched Jane's arm.

"That." Stark said. "Right, this way."

Jane led her in the direction of Stark's voice and Darcy kept holding her arm in case they got separated.

"Where are you going?" Jane asked as he walked through a door off the stairs. There was no way that was the whole building.

"That's a fire escape." Stark said. "That's one of the first ways they'll go."

"So we're going where?" Jane asked.

"You think the only exits are the ones on the blueprints?" Stark asked condescendingly.

"You have secret tunnels?" Darcy asked, her shock breaking through her current fear.

They turned suddenly leading Darcy to assume Pepper was dragging Jane like some kind of conga line.

"Of course." Stark said like it was obvious.

An alarm suddenly shrilled through the building.

"A fire alarm?" Pepper asked. "They're think we'll leave if they turn the alarm on?"

"Let's just hope it's not an actual fire." Stark replied gravely.

They continued running through the darkness, Darcy losing track of just how many turns they took.

A few minutes later they stopped abruptly. Stark was breathing so quickly he was almost hyperventilating and Darcy was sure it wasn't just from the exercise.

"Here." He said. Her eyes had adapted to the darkness so that she could see his dim outline fiddling with something on the wall which looked rather plain to Darcy's eyes.

In the distance she could hear footsteps and screams.  _What was happening?_  She wondered desperately.

"Get in." Stark snapped, still hyperventilating.

She saw that a panel of the wall had been removed revealing a dark rectangular room, slightly smaller than an elevator.

Pepper and Jane ran in, Darcy running quickly after them.

The footsteps were getting closer. Stark darted in and started trying to slam the door closed but it was stuck.

"Shit shit shit." He chanted.

Darcy saw his hands were shaking slightly.

She leapt forwards, helping him shove it closed just as the first voices could clearly be heard.

That had been far, far too close.

"Breathe in through your nose and out through your mouth." Darcy whispered to Stark from the corner of her lips so that the others couldn't hear.

He looked at her in part shock and part doubtfulness.

"Just trust me, it helps." She said.

The room began to slide slowly down like an elevator running on batteries.

"Where are we?" Jane asked.

"Emergency escape." Pepper said, throwing a look at Tony which Darcy could just see in the darkness. Apparently she too was worrying over Stark. "Completely manual so they can't trace the electrical usage but it does make it slightly slow."

Around them were more bangs and screams.

"All members of Stark Industries," A female voice said through loud speakers. Darcy recognised it as Maria Hill. "Are to report to reception immediately. Anyone who does not shall be severely disciplined. Stark, if you fail to surrender yourself you shall be arrested for treason punishable by death upon your capture."

"Yeah because if I go to you then I will, of course, be shown to a five star hotel." Stark muttered, his breathing had slowed slightly. He flexed his hands tentatively.

Darcy wondered if they'd gone numb. Hers used to do that sometimes when she had panic attacks. Surplus of oxygen or something.

The wait in the lift was excruciating. Each second seemed to last an eternity as each one of them remained silent, too scared and worried to say anything.

Darcy was still holding her heels. Of all the things to take with her.

At last it slammed into the floor, sending tiny jolts up her legs.

The door pinged open and they emerged into an equally dark room. It was long and low and flat with bare, unpainted walls. It looked like the gap between two floors. There was a kind of density down there that Darcy recognised from SHIELD and she wondered just how far underground they were.

"Right," Stark said. "We need to go down there."

He started right so they followed him, too confused with everything that was happening to question how Stark knew his way in the darkness.

They crept along the hallway, the walls barely wide enough apart to let them through and so low that Pepper and Tony had to bend down to walk.

Darcy's mind wandered to Banner. What would Loki do to him? She thought of their time in the research facility. She shuddered to think what Loki would do to him now he had power given that he'd been insulting enough without it.

She didn't have time to think properly. Her heart was beating so fast she was sure SHIELD would be able to chase them just from the sound of it.

The hallway widened into a low bunker, fluorescent paint on the walls giving the only lighting and making the room glow with a green tinge.

Cars were lined up along one side.

"We need inconspicuous." Stark said. "Go to the end."

They nodded and followed, marvelling at their surroundings.

Why had Stark gone to such lengths to prepare escape routes? Stark of all people ought to have felt free from threat.

She'd have to ask him when they weren't busy running for their lives.

"I believe," A voice said behind them, sending chills racing across Darcy's skin. She froze in fear. "I told you to remain where you were."

She turned to see Loki walking confidently towards them, eyes only on Stark.

Her stomach flipped at the sight of him; his leather and pale skin. He'd cut his hair so that it was halfway down his neck. His eyes were chips of ice.

Her heart raced, if possible, even faster.

 _Fuck,_  she thought. How could she still have that reaction to him? It wasn't fair.

"Yeah well forgive me for not obeying, oh supreme overlord or whatever it is you're going by now." Stark said mockingly.

Loki's eyes became slits. "I think a special punishment is in order for your disobedience."

"Yeah I'm sure." Stark said, glancing at Pepper. Darcy realised he was playing for time. At least his panic attack seemed to have stopped. "What is it, spanking? That your kind of thing?"

In other circumstances she might have smiled and her heart yearned desperately for that time. Instead her teeth clenched in fear.

Would he hurt her? She didn't think so. Would he hurt her friends? Most definitely.

She moved without thinking, a quick step to the right to shield Jane from view.

Her movement snapped his gaze to her, noticing her for the first time. She froze, her blood roaring in her ears.

" _You?_ " He snarled in anger. She flinched, he'd never taken that tone with her and it was terrifying. It promised pain and anguish with a slight undertone of betrayal like she was the one who had turned on him. "What are you doing here?

If her heart beat any faster it would have jumped out of her chest.

She couldn't think of words, her mouth had gone dry and her lips stumbled soundlessly.

She saw Stark shuffle sideways and hoped he had a plan.

They needed a distraction.

Loki was still glaring at her with such fury it was terrifying. They didn't have time.

She threw her shoe, without thinking, straight at him.

He stepped easily aside as it sailed past him and he glared at her.

"What, going to spank me too?" She asked, having found her voice. It sounded choked and startled.

It had given Stark time to grab whatever it was he'd been reaching for.

"Run!" He shouted, smashing something on the ground at her feet.

She didn't have to be told twice, her legs ran like they'd never run before.

Jane seemed frozen into place so Darcy grabbed her arm and dragged her.

Darcy didn't look round; she didn't want to know what had happened to Loki. Was he still chasing them or had he moved?

Either way she bolted for the car they were aiming for. Her fingers closed around the smooth handle like it was a lifesaver.

She pushed Jane into the car, making sure they were all in.

She turned to see Loki standing where they'd left him, white smoke clearing around him from whatever device Stark had thrown.

He met her eyes with anger, the expression feeling like a slap.

Jane pulled her into the car before she could do anything.

The moment she was in, the car started, propelling her ungracefully across the seat.

"Shit." She swore, thinking of the expression on Loki's face.

 _None of this makes sense,_  she thought. Everything had happened so quickly. What the hell was going on? What had happened? Her whole brain felt like she'd been given a PHD level maths equation to solve.

She scrambled to sit up, glancing out of the back window.

Loki was gone.

Shit.

At least if he was there then she knew where he was. Otherwise...well not knowing was scarier.

She turned to see Pepper driving, flooring the accelerator as they whipped round corners.

Stark was rummaging in the glove compartment for something and muttering directions to Pepper.

Darcy turned to see Jane looking at her. Her friend was paler than she'd ever seen her and had tear stains on her face.

Darcy looked away. She really did not want to have a heart to heart right now and that was exactly what Jane would want.

They flew through darkness and then all of a sudden there was light and other cars zooming past.

"Tony!" Pepper said in alarm.

Darcy turned to see what the problem was, adrenaline rising again.

Stark's head snapped up but his shoulders quickly relaxed. "It's fine." He said. "The car is capable of driving itself. It's just recognising the route."

Pepper shook her head in a way that suggested she was used to being surprised by Tony's weird inventions.

She tilted her head to face the mirror. "Why isn't he following us?" She asked.

Stark shrugged. "Who knows, the guy is crazy. Don't count out SHIELD finding us though, we need to go quickly."

They burst out of the tunnel and Darcy saw with shock that they were on the edge of New York. Just how quickly had they been driving? The tunnels must have acted as some kind of short cut.

"Where are we going now?" Darcy asked, her voice small.

She couldn't get the image of Loki's anger out of her head.

"I have a safe base just outside the city." He said.

Darcy frowned, grasping on the topic to distract her. "Why?" She asked.

"Sweetheart, do you know how many legal battles I have been in over possession of my Iron Man suits?"

"You still have suits?" Darcy asked hopefully. Maybe if he did they could face Loki.

"No." Stark said, sounding pissed off. "What on Earth possessed me to destroy them? I could have done with one today."

"You got us out of there without one." Pepper pointed out. "You're the hero Tony, not the suit."

Stark sighed like this didn't mollify him. "Yeah well whatever. That'll be the first thing I do when we get to a safe house. I need a new suit. Something powerful enough to face him."

"Why didn't you tell me you had a safe house?" Pepper asked, pretending to drive so that the drivers around them didn't give them funny looks.

Stark looked at her like the answer was obvious. "I built it because I thought the American government might try to take possession of a highly weaponised super-suit I built so that I might fight back. SHIELD obviously don't know about it. You're telling me that's something you would have been okay with?"

"No." Pepper said reluctantly before glaring at him. "But just because I wouldn't be okay with something doesn't mean you keep it from me. In fact that's more of a reason to tell me because God only knows I'm the rational one in this relationship."

"Yeah well how would rationality have done getting out of there?" Stark snapped.

Pepper glared at him but didn't argue. Everyone in the car knew he didn't mean it; he was just unnerved by what had happened. Arguing among themselves would not have helped and with no better alternative, Darcy and Jane were in no position to argue over where to go.

They continued to drive, everyone alert and on edge for SHIELD cars, helicopters...whatever.

Darcy still had a shoe, which was one more thing to throw.

The New York skyline was shrinking rapidly behind them.

The adrenaline rush had left Darcy. She felt hollow and cold, still too confused by everything that had happened to think it through.

The buildings turned to fields and still they drove, still waiting for some disturbance.

Where the hell were SHIELD who were supposed to be chasing them?

The car turned right suddenly and they all jumped, even Stark. The road had been long and straight for so long that Darcy had almost forgotten that junctions existed.

They flew down a dirt road at the same speed they'd been doing on the highway, billowing up a cloud of smoke in their wake.

At the end, Darcy saw an old barn. It looked like half of it had been burnt down, the rest barely standing. This had better not be Stark's idea of a safe house.

The car slowed as it approached.

Darcy watched in amazement as the front of the barn lifted like a garage door and the car slid slowly into it.

She looked round as the car stopped but before she could ask if this was it, the floor itself began to slowly swivel down, lowering them into a pit beneath it.

They were in another garage, three other cars littered the area. One expensive Ferrari, one van and one bland saloon much like the one. Something no one would notice.

The car slid forwards, parking itself in one of the bays. With the metal walls and bluish light it reminded her more than anything of the car park at SHIELD.

The floor of the barn disappeared out of sight to become the ceiling of the garage.

Stark and Pepper got out of the car so Darcy and Jane followed.

Darcy wrapped her arms around herself, shivering. She wished she'd worn a coat with her sleeveless dress but it was August. The metal room didn't seem to care about what season it was outside, it was apart from the rest of the world and so were they. It ran on its own time and apparently it had decided to be cold.

She looked down at her dress. She'd managed to tear it at one point so that the lace overlay had a huge rip down the side. So much for navy, she thought. Another colour she couldn't wear without associating it with Loki.

She followed the others out of the garage, her bare feet walking on the sheets of metal reminding her of their walking on the dirty ground of Svartalfheim.

They walked through the door at the end and into a metallic hallway.

Stark led. He knew the way like it was his house, not a safe house to only be used in emergencies.

The corridor twisted, other rooms branching off until they emerged into a huge, warehouse sized room of the same metal so that it felt they were inside one of the huge metal container that littered barges in the New York harbours.

They were on a metal platform that ran around the edge, a metal staircase leading to the floor which they all descended down.

Their footsteps echoed in the vast emptiness but it was lit, presumably by its own generator.

On the floor were large sofas, brown fabric which didn't look used giving it an abandoned feel. They were centred around a huge television screen. Darcy saw pool tables and foosball sets, stereos and some form of gaming system. Stark had made sure he had all the comforts in a back up facility.

There was a long dining table at the end for around twelve people which felt vaguely lonely given that there were just four of them. In the corner was a set of smaller TV screens showing footage of the place like a security guard's station. The place looked huge.

Stark collapsed onto one of the sofas, staring at the metal ceiling.

"Well," He sighed. "Welcome to your new home."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Whispers In The Dark by Mumford and Sons. Not that great at action chapters but I hope you liked it. Thanks for reading and commenting


	47. A Sin To Confess

Darcy looked helplessly from Stark to Pepper to Jane. What were they supposed to do now?

The reality settled in. Loki – Loki who she loved and trusted and protected – had taken over SHIELD. And given that SHIELD was a part of the government she assumed that effectively meant he was pulling the strings in the rest of the world.

 _But why?_  She thought desperately.  _He had Asgard!  
_

She thought of the rage on his face when he'd seen her, felt it stabbing her gut.

He'd taken over the world... _but he wouldn't do that! Loki, her Loki, wouldn't do that!  
_

 _Oh who are you kidding? You thought you changed him that much? Don't be ridiculous. Your Loki physically_ couldn't  _do that. He always_ would  _have done in a heartbeat._

She sighed, wondering just how much she'd kidded herself about him.

Jane turned to her and Darcy prepared herself for the inevitable talk about what had happened.

At that moment, however, Pepper ran forwards. "Tony!" She said, pointing to the TV screens in the corners.

"What?" Stark asked, sitting bolt upright.

They ran to the monitors, fear clawing Darcy's insides. Was he here? Had he found them?

Instead she watched one on the corner. It showed a wide shot of one of the fields outside. A faint movement was rippling through the tall grass of whatever crop grew and upon closer inspection she saw two motorbikes.

The one in front had two people on. Darcy's eyes widened in panic before she recognised them.

The Black Widow was driving, nose pressed close to the machine as they flew forwards at what was probably law breaking speeds. On the bike with her was Hawkeye, no hands gripping her waist and instead holding his bow, an arrow tight on the string.

On the other bike was Captain America: in full costume.

Darcy wondered what kind of mission they'd been on but the sight of them lifted her spirits immeasurably. Four of the six avengers had escaped Loki.

That was better than just the one she'd thought had.

Stark leapt at the keyboard by the monitors and started rapidly pressing keys.

"What are you doing?" Jane asked him.

"Disabling the security systems." Stark said. "They aren't arriving in registered vehicles...I'd rather they weren't incinerated."

"Yeah probably for the best." Darcy said.

After a few more moments, Stark pressed a final button and waved his hands in a  _voila_  kind of way.

"Right, let's go greet them." Stark said.

He led them back the way they'd come to the garage. They'd timed it well; the ceiling was descending with the three of them on bikes just as they arrived.

They drove forwards and parked, climbing off far more gracefully than Darcy would have managed.

"Yay!" Stark mockingly cheered. "You didn't get captured by our new overlord!"

None of them laughed. Romanoff and Barton positively glared at him.

"Yeah well we ran into some of his minions." Steve said angrily, throwing his helmet onto his bike. "Do you know what it's like to have to shoot innocent men down?"

Stark clapped him on the shoulder, grinning. It was obvious he was happy they were here. "Yeah well that's all over now. You're here so I can give you the grand tour."

Romanoff strutted forwards without waiting for Stark. They all followed her as she'd probably expected. "What I want to know, Stark, is why you even have this place."

"In case SHIELD sent agents like you after my suits." Stark explained, narrowing his eyes disbelievingly at her. "Are you telling me you don't have your own places to go should SHIELD turn on you?"

She ignored him which they all took to mean yes.

Darcy watched her with vague awe. She walked with such confidence that left no one in any doubt that she could kick butt and look after herself. She wore skinny jeans and a brown leather jacket that made her look so hot Darcy couldn't tell if she wanted to be her or be in bed with her.

Damn the Black Widow was cool.

No wonder Barton looked so proud to be with her all the time. He walked to her side, slightly behind and wore all black. She saw that he still clutched his bow tightly.

She sneaked a sideways glance at Steve. A year ago the sight of him in his Captain America costume would have done things to her but now all she felt was a vague appreciation for his damn fine ass.

"So how come you got here so quickly?" Stark asked.

"We were on our way to New York anyway for a mission brief." Steve said. "The plane landed in New Jersey and we saw the message. Then we got the hell out of there. We were halfway to New York when Natasha got your message."

They walked into the main room. Romanoff walked right to the middle and stood with her arms crossed, surveying the area.

The others settled onto the sofas.

"So..." Stark started. "We may as well address the real issue. How did the guy we worked so hard to send back to Asgard manage to...well let's not beat around the bush here. How did he manage to take over the world?"

"We only managed to access a few reports." Steve said.

"Somehow he managed to rule Asgard, hence no help from Thor." Romanoff added. "And then with the might of Asgard behind him it wasn't particularly hard. SHIELD surrendered almost immediately"

"You should have let me stick an arrow through his brain when I had the chance." Clint said, fingers tapping the edge of the arrow.

Darcy looked away, not wanting to admit how much that idea scared her.

_Oh get over it, he's evil! He took over your world! You can't still love him!_

"But that's the problem." Pepper said, she threw an anxious look in Darcy's direction. "By all accounts he was supposed to be dead."

"He's died before." Romanoff pointed out. "Remember Thor said he fell from that bridge of theirs. He's faked it once."

"How exactly did he die?" Steve asked, leaning forwards on the sofa. He was on the opposite one to Darcy and looked at Jane when he spoke.

Darcy looked away, guilt filling her quickly. If she'd just told Thor that Loki was pretending to be Odin then Loki wouldn't currently be forcing them all into hiding. 

He'd be safely tucked away in a cell.

Why the hell hadn't she said anything?

Jane, like Pepper, sent a quick glance at her. "I assume you read all about what happened with Malekith and the Dark Elves in London?"

They all nodded so she continued. "Loki died trying to stop them on Svartalfheim. Thor broke him out of prison so that he could help us escape and he got stabbed by one of the Dark Elves."

"You saw him die?" Romanoff asked, raising an eyebrow.

Darcy was too busy feeling guilty to even feel jealous of her eyebrow raising ability.

"Yes." Jane said. "We saw him...he was dead."

"Then how come he is currently ruling SHIELD?" Barton demanded.

"He obviously didn't die." Steve said. "Like you said, it would hardly be the first time someone has faked their death." He turned to Jane. "You say you saw him die though? I can't think of how he would have faked it."

"It was an illusion." Darcy muttered. She didn't think she could take the guilt anymore. If she'd only spoken sooner...

All heads turned to her as though only just realising she was there. Darcy couldn't bring herself to meet any of their eyes, just kept her eyes focused on the hands in her lap.

"I've seen you before...you were with him at the Christmas party?" Romanoff asked.

Darcy nodded, still not raising her head.

"What did you say about Loki's death?" Stark asked.

She took a deep breath. "It was an illusion." So she told them in one steady stream, no one interrupting her, what had happened at the funeral. Only the more intimate details removed.

She could feel Jane watching beside her and her stomach twisted at the thought of the expressions of betrayal she'd find if she looked up.

When she finished, there was a pause of a few moments. "He said what to you?" Steve asked in confusion.

Darcy bit her lip, reluctant to repeat anything. "That he wanted me to stay up there with him..."

"Loki?" Barton asked disbelievingly. "Loki of Asgard?"

Darcy nodded.

"They were close." Jane said.

"They fucked too," Stark said, he sounded slightly betrayed. "I assume you heard the rumours. Well you must be great in bed to get him begging for you to stay with him."

For once Stark's humour made her feel worse rather than better.

"Tony!" Pepper scolded.

"And what did you say?" Stark asked.

"I called him a dick and said that he couldn't let me think he was dead then expect me to forgive him." Darcy said.

"You stormed out on the God of Drama Queens?" Stark asked, amused. "Oh I bet he didn't like that."

"Not particularly." Darcy said.

"So wait," Steve said. "You knew Loki was alive and pretending to be the king of Asgard and you didn't think to tell anyone."

Darcy shook her head helplessly. She deserved this, she knew she did but...oh God she was an idiot.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Jane asked. "Or Thor?"

"I'm sorry," Darcy said, her voice cracking. But how could she explain her loyalty to the man they'd almost died trying to arrest?

"Enough." Romanoff said. Darcy was so surprised she looked up to se Romanoff glaring at everyone. "Stop attacking her. It doesn't matter how he's alive, the truth is that he is. You can't blame Darcy for this. She didn't tell anyone he was alive, that's all. She didn't make him come to Earth and take it over."

Darcy felt such a wave of thankfulness towards the Russian woman that she had to strongly resist the urge to run over there and hug her.

"So what happened your end?" Romanoff asked Stark.

He explained what had happened, starting with them alone in the penthouse and leading to Loki finding them in the garage.

"And he just didn't go after you?" Steve asked. "Why?"

"Hell if I know." Stark said.

"So what do we do now?" Darcy asked, desperate to fix the mess she still felt she'd helped create.

"Well protect you, obviously." Romanoff said.

Darcy frowned. "Why me?" The others were a lot more valuable.

She looked round; everyone else looked just as confused as she felt.

Romanoff looked at their blank faces with exasperation. "Well it's obvious, isn't it?" She asked. Everyone continued to look confused so she continued. "Loki's MO is showing off, flaunting power in public. He wants admiration and all that stuff."

"Yeah," Stark said, watching Romanoff carefully as though scared she'd lost it. "But in case you haven't noticed he's not doing that this time. He's operating behind the scenes."

"Exactly." Romanoff said. "Last time he'd been denied the throne. He wanted Earth in return. This time...he's been denied Darcy."

"So what?" Darcy asked, her stomach tightening. "He wants me back?"

Romanoff frowned almost pityingly. "I don't think so." She said. "He was rejected by Thor and tried to kill him. He was rejected by Odin and tried to kill him. Now he's been rejected by you..." The room went silent; any animosity anyone had held against Darcy for keeping Loki's secret evaporating instantaneously. The temperature seemed to have dropped at least five degrees.

Darcy's every muscle tensed. She looked nowhere but at Romanoff. "You think he wants to kill me?" She asked, proud of how strong and utterly not terrified her voice sounded, contrasting greatly to how she actually felt.

"I'd say he probably plans a fair bit of torture first." She said with a shrug like she was commenting on the weather. "Sorry," She said at the look of fear on Darcy's face. "That's just what I think he'd do. His whole thing is this need to be wanted or whatever. You rejected him. Now he wants revenge."

Darcy swallowed. Was she right? Would Loki really do that?

The look of anger on his face when he'd seen her swam before her mind once more.

Shit.

Loki... _is not the guy you thought you knew_.

But enough to torture her?

 _He took over Earth_ , that truthful voice pointed out.  _I think at this point you are in no position to say what he would and wouldn't do._

"So that's why he's here?" Darcy asked, managing to only look at Romanoff as every other head remained fixed on her. "To get to me?"

To her surprise, Romanoff smiled almost self deprecatingly. "Well I'd say he'd probably love to get his hands on us too. I'd just say his priority is you."

"Okay so what are we going to do?" Steve prompted.

"Stop him, obviously." Stark said and Darcy looked over to see him roll his eyes.

"And how do you propose we do that?" Steve retorted.

"Well I'm going to build new suits. God, who let me destroy them all? Whose idea was that again?" Stark asked.

"Yours." Pepper pointed out.

"And how exactly are suits going to help us?" Steve was clearly getting irritated.

"Well I was going to offer you a spangly one...then again Rhodes would probably get jealous. Hey have you two ever met? Now that I think about it you'd get on great. Ohh you could have some slam down or something between the super patriots." Stark leant back on the sofa grinning. Everyone glared at him.

"What?" He asked defensively. "We can't just sit around moping because Loki's ruling Earth or whatever. Humour always helps."

"Let's think this through rationally." Jane said. "Last time Loki had an army of Chitauri. This time it's an army from Asgard. He's not still hiding as his dad so they must be aware they're following Loki. He's not exactly popular in that realm-"

"Shocking." Barton snorted.

"So what did he do to get them all on his side?" Jane continued as though there had been no interruption.

"Well I'm sure it wasn't his dazzling personality." Darcy said.

Everyone looked at her in shocked. "What? He's here to kill me and I can't insult him?"

"I thought you two..." Jane trailed off.

"That was before he took over SHIELD." Darcy said firmly, crossing he arms. When surrounded by the avengers, she really didn't want to leave them in any doubt as to whose side she was on. She'd already had a few too many suspicious looks from Barton.

"Okay..."Jane said, trying to save her from further embarrassment. "Anyway it was probably some manipulation or threat or something. So I figure to cut Loki off, we have to take away his army. Like you did with the chitauri. So we need to access Asgard."

Darcy looked at Jane suspiciously. Her words made sense but there was something she was missing.

"And," Darcy added. "If we access Asgard we can get Thor to help."

The silence was filled with the unspoken words they all heard:  _if he was still alive_.

"Right..." Stark said, clearly trying to cover the awkward silence. "So we're going to keep trying to build a bridge? That could take years."

"We don't have any better ideas." Romanoff pointed out. "How long can we last here?"

At this Stark grinned and stood up. "We have enough non perishable food to last all of us ten years though if you want fresh then someone will have to go out. 

Other than that we have heating and electricity, all privately generated here. And water, obviously."

"And what about scientific supplies?" Jane asked.

"Well on that note," Stark said. "I think it's time I showed you round."

"We're in hiding because an insane psychopath is trying to kill us all." Romanoff spat. For once Darcy didn't disagree with that description of Loki. "Stop acting like you're showing off your new toys."

"Just trying to diffuse the tension." Stark said.

"Did you just quote Harry Potter?" Darcy asked.

"What's Harry Potter?" Steve asked.

"Do we seriously have to put up with these people?" Barton muttered to Romanoff.

"All right, gather round boys and girls." Stark said as he led them up the stairs to the platform that surrounded the room. "I built this two years ago and-"

"How much did it cost?" Pepper demanded.

"Are we going to have this argument now?" Stark asked.

"Yes."

"Aww come on, I just saved everyone." Stark replied.

"Excuse me?" Steve asked. "Where were you when we were being attacked?"

"Yeah and it was my shoe I threw at Loki!" Darcy put in.

"You threw a shoe at Loki?" Steve asked, somewhere between impressed and judgemental. "Hey not all of us carry shields around." Darcy pointed out.

"Okay so I contributed to saving everyone." Stark said. "Anyway it's two years old but I've made a few changes."

He turned down a hallway they hadn't been down but it looked more or less the same. "Okay these are the bedrooms." He said. "You can all grab whatever one; they're more or less identical."

They all looked doubtful but walked towards random doors. Darcy took the one right at the end, wanting the one as far away from other people as possible.

She pushed the door open.

It was smaller than her one at Stark tower; an average master bedroom size. There was a double bed in the centre with, of all colours, green sheets. Dark furniture was shoved against the walls and a door in the corner presumably led to a bathroom. It was all rather tame for Tony Stark.

She shut the door and returned to the others.

"What about you and Pepper?" She asked.

"Well we have the master bedroom." He said. "That gets a corridor to itself."

Darcy figured that was fair given that this was Tony's base. She noticed that Barton and Romanoff had claimed a room together.

"Right let's see the rest!"

Stark showed them excitedly the rest of his base. Darcy couldn't help but wonder whether he'd been hoping for something like this just so he could show it off.

He called it the Hive in mockery of SHIELD's Hub. Everyone point blank refused to call it the Hive. Stark may have been a genius but he was a real idiot sometimes.

If there was one thing to be said for it though, it really did have everything. A gym, a kitchen, multiple labs, another two garages to the one they'd seen, a library (fully stocked with everything from physics textbooks to the Chronicles of Narnia), a room full of clothes (Stark insisted this was for disguise purposes but no one quite believed him when they found the sparkly thong in just his size), firing range and training room to name a few.

It must have been huge but it was underground and silent, the only noise the vague hum of air conditioning rotating through the metal structure. They felt so isolated that for a moment Darcy could pretend that everything was fine and that, at that moment, Loki wasn't desperately trying to track her down.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Goin' Down by The Pretty Reckless. So quite a few reviews are telling me about mistakes and typos. I read through and edit each chapter a bit before I post it but obviously I'm missing some. So if anyone is interested in beta reading chapters before I post them could you message me on my tumblr (details on my profile). As always, thank you for reading and commenting.


	48. Party At The End Of The World

In a room full of superheroes, scientists and a few CEOs, Darcy felt a desperate need to escape. Especially given everything that had happened. She just needed a few moments alone to process everything that had happened.

There were only a few computers in the building in case they were hacked and really she needed to stop hacking things in order to calm down. It was becoming a bad habit. Instead she went to the kitchen and figured of all them, she stood the best chance of being able to cook something remotely edible.

It was probably approaching the morning. They should have all been asleep, preparing for a day of building something to stop Loki. Instead they were all up watching TV. The news reports were full of things that could only be explained with knowledge of Loki: governments suddenly working together, wars abruptly ending, aid being sent to poorer countries. The news were making out like it was a miracle.

Obviously they weren't the ones under threat. And they probably weren't aware of everything that was about to go down.

If there was one thing, even with all that had happened, Darcy maintained she knew about Loki it was that he was not suited for the throne at all. He didn't want power. He wanted fun. He'd already risked Asgard for Earth. How long before he risked them both for something else?

The door opened behind her but she didn't turn round, assuming it was Jane coming in for a private 'hey so why didn't you tell me your crazy boyfriend was alive before he killed or imprisoned my boyfriend and took over the world' talk. Darcy rolled her eyes sarcastically; some people could be  _so_  unreasonable. What  _was_  her problem?

"Are you okay?" The voice behind her said. It wasn't Jane.

"I guess." Darcy told Romanoff, feeling slightly awkward. She was kind of scarily intimidating. Like meeting your favourite celebrity.

"I came to check on you." She said. "It can't be easy...loving someone who did this."

Darcy put down the cake batter she'd been making –thankfully Stark had the right ingredients even if she did have to substitute fresh eggs for powdered ones.

She didn't want to ask how Romanoff knew that she loved him. She thought she'd been very careful covering that fact. Hopefully it was some special Romanoff spy perceptiveness and not because Darcy wasn't as subtle as she believed.

"I think I'm more scared of him than in love with him at the moment." Darcy said truthfully, turning to face her.

"I probably would be too in your situation." Romanoff said.

"You?" Darcy asked sceptically, unable to stop herself. "No, if it were you then you would have kicked his butt and arrested him the moment you found out he was doing all that shit on Asgard. You wouldn't have kept his stupid secret like I did." She muttered.

"Don't beat yourself up about it." Romanoff said seriously. "People do stupid stuff all the time. You rectified any guilt you had tonight."

Darcy shrugged, not really believing her but appreciating it all the same. "Thanks, though." She said. "For stopping them all earlier."

Romanoff was seated on one of the high stools propped up against the island counter. "It's all right. I know what it's like to be in love with the villain. It really doesn't make you a bad person. "

Darcy nodded slowly, her mind confused. She felt like the more Romanoff spoke the less she revealed and the bigger a mystery she became.

"I understand." Romanoff continued. "It can be...intoxicating."

Darcy bit her lip. "I really wouldn't...I mean if I'd known he'd do this..."

At that Romanoff laughed. "I'd say that you couldn't have known but really I think New York should have counted as a warning sign."

Darcy shook her head, her hands going self consciously up to hide her face. "Oh God I'm an idiot." She said. "And why are you being so nice?" She rambled, hoping that excessive talking would get her away from her embarrassment. "Aren't you supposed to be terrifying? Like if anyone should not trust me, it should be you."

Why was she saying this to one of the only people who had been on their side?

She swallowed. She just really wanted to know why, she supposed. She was sick of secrets and ulterior motives. Both hers and other people's.

Romanoff's green eyes locked onto Darcy's before she spoke, startling her with their sincerity. "I'm a good judge of character. I suppose I have to be with my job. You just don't strike me as someone who's working with Loki in all this."

Darcy had to resist the urge to flinch under her gaze. Her true meaning hung heavy in the air:  _you just don't strike me as someone who's working with Loki in all this but I'm going to keep an eye on you just in case. You and everyone else in this place._

Darcy nodded instead and turned back to the cake.

"Really," Romanoff said from behind her. "Just because you and Loki had a thing in the past doesn't mean you're a bad person now."

Why did she sound like she was convincing herself?

Darcy didn't want to talk about this anymore. She cast around for a topic to change it to. "I thought you were supposed to be infiltrating the people that blew up SHIELD?"

"Change of plans. They sent someone else. I was needed elsewhere."

"Oh." Darcy said. Romanoff, for some odd reason, wasn't being very forthcoming with information about top secret missions. "I met The Cavalry." Darcy said abruptly. "She trained you didn't she?"

"Melinda May?" Romanoff asked, her tone changing to one of guarded surprise. "Train me? God no."

"What?" Darcy asked, turning back round. She hadn't actually expected this conversation to go anywhere other than away from her and Loki.

"That was a story SHIELD put out when I first joined." She said, leaning back in the seat with the air of someone resigning themselves to telling a long and complicated story. "I wasn't trained by SHIELD." She sighed and shook her head. "You told us about Loki so I suppose it's only fair. I was born in Russia back when it was still the U.S.S.R. in Stalingrad." It had the kind of sound to it like it was well rehearsed though only said a few times. Darcy wondered if Romanoff went through it like a monologue in her head.

"And when I was twelve my parents died in a fire. I was in it too but I was rescued. Being an orphan in Russia at that time...trust me when I say you don't want to try it. So I turned to crime because it was the only way to stay ahead. A lot of people try to romanticise that, please don't. There was nothing romantic about it. It was sleazy, dirty and beyond dangerous. Only the best survived and even then they were too far gone.

"And then I got in too deep. I attracted attention. One morning I woke up and I didn't know where I was. Some people arrived from the government and told me I had been specially selected for the Black Widow Ops program. I was just an arrogant kid, I was excited." Darcy listened in fascination. Romanoff never once looked off wistfully but rather kept talking matter-of-factly.

"They basically trained me to be an assassin. I was the best on the program...and then," The pause made Darcy think she was maybe hiding some stuff that had happened in that time period. But what could she possibly not want Darcy to hear when she was willing to tell her all of this? "I got on SHIELD's radar. Let's just say my skill set was very specific and I didn't care who I used it on or for." She paused. "Agent Barton was sent to kill me."

Darcy had to stop her mouth gaping in shock. Barton? Kill Natasha? He was more likely to kill every last other person on the planet who dared go near her.

"Obviously," Natasha said with a slight smile as though she knew what Darcy was thinking. "He made a different call. He took me back to America and I started working for SHIELD. They put out the story that I was trained by May. There were some prejudices against Russia at the time, left over from the Cold War and once the majority of that ended they didn't bother with the story anymore.

"No one really knew. It wasn't until New York that people started to know who Clint and I were, SHIELD has a lot of exceptional agents." Her voice dropped a bit. "I assumed everyone would know the truth after New York."

"Maybe they didn't care." Darcy said, surprising herself at how quickly she was able to speak after being told Natasha Romanoff's entire life story. Natasha looked at her with a mix of confusion and trepidation so Darcy continued. "Maybe after all you did in New York no one cared what you did before? Maybe everyone felt like saving humanity made up for whatever you have in your past."

Her face was unreadable. Darcy supposed she was trying not to get her hopes up that that was true. Darcy got the impression from the way she'd told the story that she was still haunted by her past.

"Maybe." Natasha said after a moment.

Darcy frowned. "But why..." She struggled to find the right words. "Why would you tell me this? I mean, no offence, but I thought your whole thing was keeping yourself a secret?"

Romanoff shrugged. "I'm not quite sure. Loki knows everything. I don't want you to be at some sort of disadvantage because he knows more about the people you're hiding with than you do."

Before Darcy could say anything else, Jane walked in. "Oh hey," She said, sending Natasha a nervous look. She headed closer to Darcy. "Listen, could I talk to you for a moment?"

Darcy carried on stirring the cake mix, a severely disjointed cake making process at this point. "Sure." Darcy said pointedly. If Jane wanted to talk to her alone then she could say that explicitly which she knew Jane would never be rude enough to do.

Jane glared at her like she knew what she'd done but smiled slightly anyway. Her eyes flicked to Natasha who was still sat at the counter.

"How are you?" She asked, surprising Darcy who had expected a direct 'dude your boyfriend!'

"Um okay." Darcy said, surprising herself with the knowledge it was true. Sure Loki was a bastard and the world was in shit but it could have been so much worse and she felt a lot better after her chat with Romanoff than she had when they'd first arrived at Stark's hideout.

Jane looked at her sceptically anyway. Darcy smiled. "I'm fine Jane, honestly. Given everything that's happened I could feel a lot worse." She carried on stirring the batter.

"And..." Jane prompted awkwardly. Darcy closed her eyes for a moment. Ahh, there they were. That 'and' that asked why she'd ever been stupid enough to believe the best of Loki.

Darcy sighed. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you about what happened at Loki's funeral." She said, figuring it was best to come straight out with an apology than try to justify her actions. "I was stupid and idiotic and I-"  _loved him?_  Admitting it to him had been bad enough. Of course Jane knew but she still didn't want to remind her of that at a time like this. "Still believed in him. I wanted to protect him and it blew up in all our faces and it's my fault and I'm sorry."

Darcy searched her friend's face for any sign of anger, her insides in knots. Because of her Thor was God knows where and she didn't think she could handle losing Jane on top of Loki turning on her. It was too much for one day.

The minutes dragged like they were purposely seeing just how slowly they could go. "It's not your fault." She said at last. "It's Loki's fault. You not telling us didn't make him do all this."

Darcy looked away, back at the cake mix so that Jane couldn't see the tear that beaded and escaped out of the corner of her eye. She felt the knots in her gut loosen, not realising just how tightly coiled the fear of Jane's rejection had been.

"Are you cooking?" Jane asked, only now spotting the bowl. "Jesus Darce, even now you turn to baking? Should I expect you to start hunting down a computer to start programming?"

"Rude." Darcy said defensively. "You have science and I have food and computers." She flashed Natasha a grin. "And Romanoff has kicking the crap out of people. We all have our ways of coping."

Romanoff grinned at her, a small smile and Darcy wondered how long she'd spent with Steve and Clint. She was probably in dire need of female company.

Darcy looked down, realising she was still wearing her date night clothes. Could that really have been earlier that night? She'd have to raid that wardrobe room of Starks for every last knitted item he had as soon as possible.

Jane poked her finger at the edge of the bowl, scooping up some of the brown batter and popping her finger in her mouth. "Needs more sugar." She said.  
Darcy looked down and realised she was right. In all the distraction of talking she'd completely forgotten that ingredient.

Jane walked off to get sugar from the cupboard. Natasha stood up.

"Well I'm rather hopeless at cooking." She said. "But I do have other talents." There was a mischievous gleam in her eye as she left and Darcy really hoped she wasn't talking about talents that involved a certain archer putting his arrow in her quiver.

 _Oh God_ , she thought _, I'm becoming Fitzsimmons, making innuendoes out of other people's relationships._

Wait, Fitzsimmons? Would they be under Loki's control now? Loki knew she was friends with them?

She prayed they were safe. She'd have to contact Skye somehow to check.

As it turned out, Romanoff was not referring to that specific skill set but another much more valuable one. She returned a few moments later clutching a large dusty bottle of Russian vodka that she must have grabbed from one of Stark's many liquor cabinets (he really did have everything here). She also returned with Pepper who was carrying two elegant bottles of expensive wine.

The cake Darcy had made was cooking so Jane got them all glasses. Darcy stated fiddling with the stereo in the kitchen until very bad dance music came on.

"I can't believe we're doing this." Pepper said, shaking her head as she lifted her wine glass to her lips.

Darcy knew what she meant. After everything that had happened, the fact they were under threat, everything really, the last thing they should have been doing was drinking. It was ridiculous, vaguely hysterical and incredibly reckless.

In other words it was perfect timing.

It was a testament to how scared everyone secretly was about what was happening that Jane and Pepper who never exactly struck Darcy as the partying types were downing their wine quicker than college students at happy hour.

After forty or so minutes, Stark entered.

"Are you guys having a party?" He asked. "And you didn't invite me? Rude."

"It's payback for the last party you brought to me." Said Romanoff who had a small glass of plain vodka. She was only tipsy meaning she grinned broadly at Stark in a rather disconcerting way. The Black Widow wasn't supposed to smile.

"Well it's a great idea; God knows I could do with a drink." He helped himself to the vodka and pulled a can of coke from one of the kitchen cupboards. "Hey!" he yelled back into the room. "Sparrow! Uncle Sam! We're getting drunk!"

Darcy grinned at them. It was kind of fun. She couldn't remember being this happy in months. So what Loki was doing all that stuff...it was miles away...another universe...

"I'm not so sure that's a good idea." Steve said worriedly, glancing around the room.

Barton had gone over to Natasha and was sharing her drink. Darcy noticed she was touching him slightly more but given that she wasn't drunk yet, it wasn't anything more overt than that.

"Aww come on. The girls have been doing it for ages; we have some catching up to do." Stark said.

Steve frowned and got himself a bottle of water, not saying anything more but looking disapproving.

Darcy rolled her eyes. If he wanted to be boring then fine. She got herself another glass of wine.

The night - or was it morning now? – wore on. Barton had his arms wrapped round Romanoff's waist from behind, whispering into her air. Stark and Pepper had rather obviously left to their bedroom. Darcy and Jane had reached the point where the thought of more alcohol was rather sickening and had eaten most of the cake themselves.

Steve had only stayed an hour before leaving.

They'd barely noticed him go.

"I mean," Jane giggled. "He must be fine. Have you  _seen_  his arms? Loki could never hurt him."

"Yeah but..." Darcy said trying to be serious before breaking into laughter. "I can't remember what I was going to say."

Jane laughed too and their laughter continued for almost five minutes.

"Guys," Steve said, his voice loud and commanding, cutting through the drunken fumes in the room with razor-sharp clarity. His tone sobered everyone instantly, even if it was still slightly fuzzy to their alcohol-addled brains. "You're going to want to see this."

Darcy frowned at Jane who looked just as confused and they followed Steve into the living room. Stark and Pepper walked in too, evidently Steve had called for them. Pepper was wearing a dressing gown that was obviously Tony's and Stark was shirtless.

"What?" Stark demanded. "I know you're still fuzzy on the sex versus fondue thing but really we were kinda in the middle-"

"Watch the damn television." Steve snapped, evidently bored of drunk people.

 _He's just jealous because he can't get drunk_ , Darcy thought. Though it did give him an annoying air of superiority.

As though he had instructed them all to do this, every head turned to the television.

It took Darcy a few moments to realise what was happening. The clock in the corner said it was five o'clock in the morning.

"An arrest warrant has been issued for Tony Stark, famous for his creation of the Iron Man and Iron Patriot. Significant evidence has come to light that Stark had been harbouring weapons to use against the American government in order to control it. Stark has since disappeared." The woman on the news read, a picture of Tony in the corner of the huge screen.

"He is suspected to be with girlfriend Virginia 'Pepper' Potts, CEO of Stark enterprises." Stark's picture was replaced with Pepper. "Miss Potts has equally been untraceable since the arrest attempt was made yesterday afternoon." And now there was footage of SHIELD agents storming Stark Tower.

"They are thought to be with Darcy Lewis," And now Darcy's picture was on the screen. "Miss Lewis worked at Stark Industries and is skilled in computer hacking. Authorities believe Potts and Stark may be holding her captive for this purpose."

"The public are warned that they are armed and dangerous. Anyone with information should report immediately to the number at the bottom of the screen. A reward has been offered for any information leading to their capture."

They changed to the next item of news and Steve turned the screen off. Everyone remained silent, looking at each other as though hoping they could enlighten them. Darcy felt sick.

She took a shaky breath, unable to take the silence. "Well I guess Loki's started on his agenda."

Romanoff and Barton had gone into serious assassin mode, their arms crossed and looking terrifying. Jane looked shocked, blinking as though unsure of what had just happened. Pepper seemed pissed off more than anything and Stark looked somewhat amused.

"It doesn't make sense." Steve said, shaking his head and frowning at the blank screen. "Why only put up a reward for you three?"

Everyone else looked just as confused. Darcy furrowed her eyebrows in confusion at why the others didn't understand.

"Well isn't it obvious?" She ventured cautiously, figuring it must be if she understood it.

"No, what do you mean?" Steve asked her.

"It's like we said earlier. He's operating from the shadows like some Norse Voldemort. Putting out a blanket demand for all avengers would make people suspicious, it would be the same as just coming straight out and saying he now ruled the world. People would rise up in rebellion. Even if he hasn't done anything yet, people won't like the idea of someone taking control of the planet." Darcy explained.

"She's right." Barton said.

Romanoff nodded in agreement. "No doubt we'll get our own arrest warrants soon. He could hardly hide the assault on Stark Tower so he advertised Stark's arrest first and made sense to do Pepper with him."

"And Darcy because she's his priority." Steve added with dawning comprehension. "Although I don't know why he said you," He nodded to Tony and Pepper. "Were holding her captive rather than saying that she was part of whatever conspiracy you're being arrested for."

Darcy had been wondering that herself. Surely if Loki wanted to get revenge he'd do anything to give her a bad name? Goosebumps coated her skin and she hugged her arms to herself. She still couldn't believe Loki would do all this. It was like his time with her had been a vacation from madness and now that it was over he was back with renewed vengeance.

"It means the public are less likely to kill you." Natasha said. She said it so bluntly, presumably used to people wanting to kill her and forgetting it was abnormal. "If someone saw you with Stark and Pepper and they thought you were captive then they wouldn't shoot you. It means he wants you alive."

Darcy tightened her arms around herself as her fear intensified, Natasha's theory echoing in her mind.

Everyone in the room looked at her, all of them wondering the same thing.

Alive so he could do  _what_  with her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Hello Brooklyn by All Time Low. I know Romanoff's story is different in the comics but given that she says she's born in the eighties in the winter soldier I kind of had to edit it a bit. Also to anyone who contacted me about beta reading, my tumblr asks are being weird and if I haven't replied then I haven't received your emails/messages. Also in response to a few reviews, I know the story is getting long but I assure you I have planned the plot so don't worry, it is going somewhere. I really don't know how it is this long either...Anyway, thanks for reading and commenting.


	49. You Can't Turn Back

It was two in the afternoon when Darcy woke up, thankful for the wine for helping her get to sleep, certain that without it she wouldn't have managed. She didn't feel too bad, just a faint headache so she swallowed some pain killers from the cabinet above the sink in her bathroom and went in search of the others.

Only Stark, Natasha, Barton and Rogers were up. Rogers had never been drunk and Darcy supposed Stark's past made hers look prudishly sober. Barton and Romanoff probably had to drink a lot for spy work too. Just Jane and Pepper suffering hangovers then.

They'd only just woken up so Darcy made them all coffee and breakfast to keep busy. They thanked her a ridiculous amount and Darcy wondered if any of the avengers could actually cook. Loki probably could have killed them all by locking them in a room with Gordon Ramsay.

"How are you holding up?" Romanoff asked.

"Fine." Darcy said shrugging. "So what do we do now?"

They'd gone over plans yesterday but they'd been so big and complex that Darcy didn't have a clue where to start.

"I'm going to start building a new suit." Stark said, giving her the impression they'd been discussing it just before she arrived. "Barton and Romanoff are going to try to reach out to contacts for information. Captain Spangly-pants here is monitoring security. Dr Foster's going to work on the bridge to get Thor and Pepper is going to keep an eye on all the businessy stuff in the world because I think she's the only one who understands all that."

"What do you mean?" Darcy asked, wondering how business could help them.

"Well a sudden government investment in a weapons company would be nice, for example. You know, give us a clue as to what Loki is doing because he can't just want to kill us all or his aims are rather short term."

"Oh okay and what am I doing?" Darcy asked.

Stark shrugged. "Whatever you want."

Darcy frowned but nodded, feeling her spirits sink. For a moment she felt like she could be helpful, like she could actually do something important. But she supposed all she could offer were computing skills and Stark had her beat on that front. Romanoff too, probably. Darcy vaguely recalled one of Stark's stories where she rebooted one of his Iron Man suits and Darcy doubted that she could do that.

She supposed she'd just have to cope with becoming the official chef of the Loki Resistance.

And though they didn't really accomplish much that day, over the next few weeks they fell into a sort of routine.

True to their predictions: they all got their arrest warrants. A week after the first batch, Jane's face appeared on the news with Selvig – maybe Loki thought he was with them too? - for engagement in illegal and highly dangerous scientific experiments. After a fortnight, Barton and Romanoff were wanted for the theft and sale of government documents. Finally a few days later Steve was wanted on suspicion of murder.

It turned into a sort of joke, them laughing about what they'd all supposedly done. Darcy only hoped the public saw it that way too.

Darcy had even managed to find herself a task that was vaguely important. She was the monitor of the public in the same way Pepper monitored companies and economical stuff.

It turned out that just because Loki had left the arrests a few weeks apart, it didn't mean that people hadn't noticed that all of the avengers, with the exception of Banner and Thor, were now wanted.

The conspiracy theorists in the world were going mad and Darcy had the fun job of reading through them all in chat rooms with proxies and internet blockers in place so that she couldn't be traced.

Some were just insane theories but some were surprisingly close to the truth. And Darcy had to anonymously post the truth in the hope that people would realise what was happening.

And there were some days when Darcy wasn't sure there was anything worth rebelling against. From a highly selfish view that Loki wanted to kill them all then yes, he needed to go. But from a public perspective? Darcy wasn't so sure.

The world had never been so good. No war, resources shared, co operation between countries that hated each other. All they could figure was that Loki was building a good starting place before he implemented his own rules.

"Oh look at this!" Darcy said one evening. The laptop was propped open on her lap and everyone was gathered round like they normally did to watch the evening news. "' _It seems to me_ ,'" She read. "' _That the reason the group known as the 'Avengers' are all wanted is because the government is scared of their power. Now that there are so few threats on Earth the need for such individuals has diminished. Are they forgetting New York? We aren't the only world with intelligent life! We need them!_ '"

"That guy seems to understand." Stark said. "Maybe they should listen to him."

"Or her." Darcy said.

"How are people reacting to your posts?" Barton asked.

"They keep pointing out the flaws and highlighting why it couldn't be true. Idiots." Darcy said, frustrated at how no one was accepting the truth.

"Well keep trying." Pepper said. "It's only a matter of time until it becomes the only explanation that makes sense."

"Anything in the stock world?" Jane asked Pepper.

Pepper shrugged. "Some building companies have been contracted for projects in really remote locations. I can only assume it's Loki but I have no idea what they're building."

"What website?" Darcy asked.

"Are you going to hack it?" Pepper asked.

"Worth a shot." Darcy said as she typed the link in. "Okay what about your daily reports?"

"Bridge still under construction." Jane said. "I need some more parts though, is it okay if I give you a list?" She asked Romanoff who was the only one who ventured out of the building, heavily disguised, and brought back information and food.

"Yeah sure." She said. "I'll try and get it all tomorrow."

"And have you slept at all this week?" Darcy asked Jane without looking up from the monitor.

"There'll be time for sleeping when we've made sure Thor is fine." Jane replied curtly. No one even bothered lecturing her anymore; Jane just disregarded all their comments anyway.

"Well I've finally finished the suit." Stark said. "So I can help you with the bridge."

"You finished the suit?" Darcy asked. "Dude! Show us."

"Now?" Stark asked.

"Yeah!" Jane said, equally excited. Stark continued to protest but they all knew he was doing it for show and eventually they all beat him down. They could do with some good news like Stark's suit being ready.

He left and a few minutes later flew back, covered in red and gold metal. Everyone whooped and cheered as he slowed to hover in front of them. With their encouragement he showed off a bit more, doing flips and flying round the room.

Everyone was grinning and laughing, the atmosphere in the room better than it had been in weeks. Darcy lost track of how long they'd been cooped up in there. At least a month. Maybe two?

Stark left and returned without the suit.

"Obviously I couldn't show you in here." He said. "But it has more lasers and weapons than ever before."

"That's so cool." Darcy said.

"Um people?" Jane asked, her voice worried. Darcy frowned, turning to her and saw that she was staring at the screen. "I think this might be important."

Everyone turned to the TV as Jane grabbed the remote and turned the volume up.

"The united nations passed legislation today for multiple propositions. These had only been considered for the past week but given the current state of Earth it was considered necessary. We now cut to a UN representative to deliver the new laws."

"The UN?" Darcy asked. "So they're all under Loki's control right?"

"Obviously." Jane said. "Now watch."

"No!" Stark gasped. Darcy turned back to the TV. It took her a moment to realise why he'd gasped.

One of the people following the woman in a suit, obviously the UN spokeswoman, was Colonel Rhodes. Darcy didn't know him but given that Stark had designed the Iron Patriot costume for him she supposed they must have been friends.

Rhodes didn't look happy.

"At least he's alive." Pepper pointed out consolingly.

"Alive?" Stark spat. "He's Loki's puppet. It'd probably be better if he were dead."

"As someone who has been Loki's puppet." Barton said, glaring at Stark. "I can assure you it's better being alive. After all, if you're dead you can't get revenge."

Stark didn't even look abashed. "Yeah well great revenge getting, you really stopped him."

"Both of you stop." Pepper snapped. "Bickering is not going to stop Loki. Now watch the television."

Stark sullenly returned his gaze to the TV screen. The woman had introduced herself as Miranda Harrison, not just a UN spokesperson but one of the Council members. She wore a dark purple skirt and blazer with a white shirt, her blonde hair tied in a bun so tight and perfect she had to be keeping strands in place from sheer willpower. From her posture she was just as annoyed as Rhodes about being there.

She started by lecturing the assembled film crews about the importance of the new rules, how they would benefit society etc. Darcy could almost recognise Loki's vocabulary in her speech.

"All citizens of all countries are expected to follow these laws." She said, her voice high and stern. "Failure to comply will be listed as treason to the United Council, punishable by death. And so I come to the first law. A curfew will be enforced in all countries. No one should be out of their house after nine o'clock. Anyone who requires to be out after this time should request permission from their government.

"Secondly, everyone is required to take a standardised test, regardless of age, gender, income or any other variable you feel may excuse you from this. Based on the results, you will be assigned to a new career best suited to you and the aims of the Council on behalf of Earth.

"Thirdly, all wealth shall be divided between all lands. You will be expected to work set hours and in return shall be paid in a basic payment of food, water and credits. The latter shall be a new universal currency to be traded for items, extra food or other services.

"That is all. Information on further laws shall be released in upcoming days. Any complaints or rebellion against the new laws shall also be treated as high treason."

They cut back to the newsroom where experts were discussing the merits of the new system. Jesus, were these people actually that gullible or was Loki controlling them? Were they just scared of being punished for...what was it, high treason?

_Fuck Loki, what the hell is wrong with you?  
_

"Well I guess he still loves freedom as much as he did two years ago." Steve said.

"How can he get away with that?" Stark demanded.

"Well the army of Asgardians does help." Romanoff retorted dryly.

"Say we do get the bridge working." Darcy said. "Is that really going to be enough to stop him?"

"I don't think so." Natasha said. "Not now, he'll either have an army on Asgard or Earth. We can't really take both of them out."

"So we take him out instead." Barton said.

Darcy froze. Kill him? That wasn't what she'd meant.

_How can you still want him alive? After all this? He'd kill you, and worse, if you give him the chance.  
_

"How?" Stark asked. "The Hulk bashed him about and all he was left with were a few scratches.  _Can_  we even kill him?"

"Of course you can kill him." Jane said.

Darcy stood up. She couldn't take this anymore. Did they have to discuss it in front of her?

She walked to her room, ignoring the looks they gave her.

She pulled open her laptop. She just wanted to talk to someone and clearly Jane was out of the question.

 _Skye_ , she thought. She'd been pondering how best to contact her friend for a while. Ideally she'd talk to Matt but he was almost definitely under Loki's control so that left her. And she was on that plane. Surely that meant there was a good chance she was safe.

She got up her IP address and commenced hacking. She had to be careful not to leave anything traceable which led to the most complex piece of hacking Darcy felt she'd ever attempted. It took all night, she heard people retreat to their rooms all around her but still she didn't stop.

Eventually she was through. Skye's desktop appeared on Darcy's screen. She was in the process of writing an email.

' _Skye_ ,' Darcy wrote.

Skye paused in her writing. Darcy could imagine her confusion, knowing how she would have felt if a word she hadn't typed appeared on her screen.

' _Hello?'_  Skye typed back.

' _Are you being watched?'_

' _The place is bugged and there are cameras. No one can see this though.'_ Darcy sighed in relief, that was what she'd been hoping for.

' _It's Darcy.'_ She said.

' _Darcy? Holy shit! What the hell are you doing?! Jesus do you know how dangerous this is? If he traces it...but fuck I can't even think about that. Holy fuck. I mean, I'm so happy to hear from you but...and how have you been avoiding everyone? And how the hell did you hack my laptop. And I'm not going to lie; the writing is a little creepy. Like Tom Riddle's diary and girl let me tell you if you've made my computer a horcrux then I'll kill you.'  
_

Darcy smiled. God she'd missed Skye. Or anyone that wasn't an avenger, as great as they were she'd been living with them for at least a month and she was going stir crazy for some extra company.

' _Relax_ ,' She typed back. ' _My soul is entirely intact. I need info. What's happening on the plane?'  
_

_'On the plane? Who cares? What's happening with you, first? Are you with the avengers? What are you doing?'  
_

Darcy bit her lip, wondering how much it was safe to reveal. ' _Yes I'm with the avengers. We're trying to take Loki down but I don't think this is secure enough to reveal anything more.'  
_

_'Okay. That's fair enough. Well firstly I'd like to apologise for ever encouraging you to sleep with Loki because he's hot as hell but sorry, he's completely and utterly insane. We're following his orders, like everyone else in the world. Only ours come directly from him rather than through other people. I guess we're that important.'  
_

Darcy nodded before realising Skye wouldn't be able to see that. ' _What's he making you do?'  
_

_'We have to fly across the world delivering orders and messages to other people, ensure all these things- and I don't know what they are- he's building are being built and stop any rebellions or revolutions. There haven't been that many. We were expecting a lot more but I guess everyone is pretty terrified but not in danger enough to fight back. I have to hand it to him; he knows how to subjugate a population.'  
_

Darcy shook her head. ' _A skill he's spent a long time practicing, I'm sure.'  
_

_'Yep in front of the mirror every day. Anyway that's only officially. Like I said we're bugged both audibly and visually. Whenever we have a moment we aren't it's a quick catch up only so I'm not entirely sure what the others are doing. Coulson is hiding people, you know, not following up leads and things for the former agents Loki wants dead. May is keeping whatever she's doing secret. Ward is 'losing' fights to let people escape. Fitzsimmons don't know what to do, they were researching magic but with Loki they figured they might get in serious trouble, like be accused of treason, if they continued.'  
_

Darcy froze, staring at the screen. They'd been researching magic? ' _Fitzsimmons's research,'_ she typed, ' _I need it.'  
_

_'Why?'  
_

_'I can't say.'_ She wasn't entirely sure herself. ' _Please, there must be some way you can get it to me.'  
_

There was a pause before Skye replied. ' _I can get it to you but it'll take some serious programming and hacking for us to be able to do it without anyone noticing.'  
_

_'When by?'  
_

_'I don't know. I've never tried anything this big. I'll go get the research.'  
_

Darcy worked with Sky to link their computers to enable Skye to share the information discretely. It was even more complex than hacking into Skye's laptop.

Part of her realised it would be quicker to go straight to Stark and get him to do it, it would probably take him a few hours at most but this was Darcy's idea and as childish as it was, she wanted to do it herself.

And she didn't even know why she wanted the research. She just thought it might be important.

It took them most of the night to do it, the clock on her bedside table reading five o'clock by the time they'd finished.

' _Won't the rest of the agents notice you've been on your laptop for ages?'_ Darcy had asked just after midnight.

' _Yeah but they're used to it. Normally they'd ask why but with all the surveillance they won't. They'll just assume it's something for resisting Loki.'_

Darcy felt a warm rush like she'd had a glass of wine. It was so nice to know that someone else was fighting Loki as well. That everyone living in Stark's bunker weren't as isolated as they believed. They weren't alone in this.

Skye left, wishing Darcy luck, as soon as they finished with the document transferral and Darcy was left with a document spanning over eighty pages – all of it on physics.  _Yay_.

She skim read because most of it didn't make sense to her, getting a vague idea of what it was talking about. She wondered how SHIELD had even managed to research magic and supposed the avengers weren't the only people SHIELD had on their radar.

She'd finished the document by ten and could barely stand it anymore. Sleep deprived and emotionally numb she needed to share the findings of the report. She couldn’t keep walking the tightrope between Loki and her friends. She had to make a decision. And she’d chosen her side. 

If, as she suspected, they'd all stayed up late discussing Loki's new Earth agenda then they would just be waking up and going to get breakfast. If not then she needed coffee anyway so she grabbed her laptop, still wearing the clothes of the day before and headed towards the kitchen.

When she entered the kitchen she saw that she was right, they were all there and froze when she entered, looking at her wearily as though she might break down begging for Loki's life.

She ignored their looks and instead smiled, surprising them all.

"Ladies and gentlemen," She said, turning to the laptop and ignoring the unidentified twisting in her stomach. "I know how we can kill Loki."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Fences by Paramore. So good news! I now have a beta, Nicole Lee and she is fabulous so hopefully the story should flow a bit better. Many thanks to her for being awesome. Thank you all for reading and commenting, it's practically the only thing getting me through exams. You are all wonderful.


	50. Heart On A Trigger

Jane's eyes slid rapidly across the text on Darcy's laptop, taking it in. "It's all here." She announced to the assembled avengers as they sat round the kitchen table. "All of it. This could actually work."

"I don't understand," Steve said.

"Well that is  _shocking._.." Stark muttered.

"What exactly is this?" He asked as though Stark had never spoken.

"These scientists-" Jane started.

"Fitz and Simmons." Darcy interjected.

"Who're they?" Stark asked.

"They're Co-" Darcy stopped. She'd almost said they were Coulson's team but that would mean telling the avengers Coulson was alive and she didn't know if she was allowed to do that. She'd promised Coulson she wouldn't. "-workers of my friend Skye." She said instead.

"And you got this information how?" Stark asked.

"I hacked Skye's laptop. Completely undetectable. No trace." She added at Stark's concerned look.

"If we could get back to how we're killing Loki?" Romanoff asked.

"Right," Jane continued. "Well the reason bullets don't work on Loki is because he creates force fields that stop them. They're kind of like a barrier of magic and these scientists say that magic is a form of energy like heat or light. That's what they studied and they found that magic can be used on almost any substance."

"Almost?" Pepper asked.

"Right, everything they tested it on worked apart from one element." She looked at Stark. "Vibranium*."

"Vibranium?" Steve asked with a thrown. "Wait that's the...your chest thing right?"

"The arc reactor." Stark said, throwing Steve a filthy look for calling it a 'chest thing.' "And that explains New York at least."

"What do you mean?" Steve asked.

"Remember when I confronted him before I was rudely defenestrated?" Stark asked. The others nodded. "Well he tried using his mind control stick on me, he tapped the arc reactor and it didn't work. I assumed it was just because it wasn't actually my skin but maybe it was because magic doesn't work on vibranium."

"Vibranium..." Romanoff said slowly like the word was familiar to her. "That was the element you created when-"

"When you were masquerading as a legal assistant in my company? Yeah."

"I believe it's my company." Pepper interrupted, brow quirked.

"And apparently it's a good thing I was." Romanoff pointed out. "Or you'd be dead from palladium poisoning. So this vibranium, we can create it down here?"

"Probably not," Jane said, eyebrows furrowed as she scrolled through the document. "We'd need a synthesiser and-"

"Sweetheart," Stark interjected. "If I can create it while dying in my house with the use of a certain patriot's shied to prop up a few parts then I think we can create it down here."

"You're sure?" Jane looked doubtful.

"Positive." Stark reassured her.

"And what?" Romanoff asked. "We make it into bullets?"

"That could work." Stark considered. "I'd have to make a specific gun for it but yeah, it should work."

"How long will it take?" Steve asked.

"That depends." Stark said. "We'll start now unless there are any questions."

"Yeah I got one," Said Clint who had been silent the whole time. Everyone turned to look at him and saw he was twirling an arrow between his fingers. "This vibranium stuff, you think we could make it into an arrowhead?"

 

 

"You just need to aim a little bit higher." Steve said, smiling.

"Yeah that's easy for you, you're a super soldier." Darcy said, struggling for breath and sending a silent curse to Romanoff for insisting that she continued her self defence lessons, and to Steve for volunteering to teach her. "In case you haven't noticed, my legs are far too short for me to be able to kick that high."

"You can do this, you just have to twist your body as you kick." He said.

"But you know what happens when I do that? I fall over." She said.

He laughed. "We'll try again tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?" She complained. "Fuck don't I even have a few days rest?" She asked this at the end of every session. They'd only started a week ago when the others started trying to create elements and Darcy was already completely done with it.

She never thought she'd miss Matt's teaching of self defence but at least he understood the limits of the average human being.

Steve seemed to expect her to be able to become the Black Widow after a few hours of training.

Darcy would say she was at the level where if she was mugged in the street she'd be able to fight her attackers off, the only times she'd fought people more skilled than that were lucky flukes. Someone who had been dragging her and not expecting her to have a taser and a Dark Elf who hadn't expected her to fight back.

"Why do I have to do this?" She whinged as Steve packed the rest of his stuff up. "Can't I just get Stark to build me a new taser?"

"If we manage to get this vibranium thing to work then we won't be able to work it from here. We'll have to go to him."

"Yes and I'm sure I'll be taken on that journey." She said, crossing her arms.

"Well no but if it doesn't work and he tortures your location out of one of us then you want to be able to fight your way out." He said casually as though the idea of being tortured for information was something he considered daily.

"And we come back to the taser." Darcy sighed.

Steve laughed. "You're not  _that_  bad. You're better than half the guys who joined the army with me and they all managed to do it by the end of training."

"And how did they do that?" Darcy asked, curious.

Steve smiled. "Well uh, it's a shame we don't have a flagpole around here."

"Huh?" She asked, confused.

"Or I could always throw a dummy grenade at you?" He suggested.

"You're weird." Darcy said. Steve smiled.

"Not weird, just old."

"Or both." She suggested.

"Both could work." He said.

"Right well I'm going to shower before dinner. Thanks for that painful session. I'll see you later."

She wandered back to her room, every single one of her muscles screaming for a hot bath and knowing she'd have to settle for a warm shower.

_Oh Loki, see the sacrifices we make to avoid you? No nice showers and don't even get me started on Stark's array of toiletries.  
_

Rather than being amused she felt hollow. Thinking of Loki was too weird because in her mind there were two different people: the Loki who she knew and loved and the Loki who took over the world with plans to torture her. And they were plotting to kill them both.

She shook her head _. I am so not thinking about this right now._

 

 

Darcy scrolled through her usual nightly internet searches.

"Right we've got more rebellious graffiti." She said as she saw spray painted walls with 'Avengers, we need you.' "People seem to finally have connected your arrest warrants with the new laws and you've become a sort of rallying point for protesters."

"Well it took them long enough." Stark commented dryly.

"And there was a protest in Dubrovnik today. That's in Croatia by the way. They only executed the instigators of it because it was quite big, they didn't want to charge them all I guess. But it does mean they're trying to hide it from public knowledge. I only found a reference to it on this site."

"Great." Stark said with an eye roll. "So a Croatian port is on our side. That's really going to help us."

Pepper threw a pillow at him and he ducked.

"And they've raised the rewards for information leading to our arrests." Darcy said. "Wow who knew we were worth so much."

"How much am I up for?" Stark asked.

"Does it matter?" Jane asked.

"I just want to know if I'm worth two or three Steves." Stark replied.

"We're all up for around fifty million each, that's all I'm saying. You can look it up yourself if you care that much."

"And how much are you up for?" Romanoff asked.

Darcy blushed, clicking away from the page with her picture, the neat print of '$200 MILLION' scrawled across the bottom. "About the same." Darcy lied. "Okay that's my report done. How about you guys?"

"The first prototype of the gun is ready." Jane said.

"Ohhh let's see!" Darcy said excitedly, ignoring the implications of the gun.

"I'm not going to take it out of the lab." Jane said.

"Here you go." Stark said, sliding it along the coffee table towards her.

"You took it out!" Jane demanded.

"Relax." Stark told her. "It's safe. I had it in my chest for two years."

The gun was sleek and silver, it seemed to glow slightly but Darcy supposed that was her imagination.

"It's only got one vibranium bullet in it, in the first chamber. We didn't want to risk anymore at this stage in its development. The rest are just ordinary bullets."

Darcy reached for it but Jane looked worried so she left it.

"What about you?" She asked Pepper.

"The first of Loki's buildings are ready." Pepper shrugged. "It seems to be an observation point of some sort. Some satellite companies have them so they can hone in better on local areas."

"Why would Loki build one of those?" Darcy asked, confused. She'd been assuming the buildings would be weapons factories or something.

"To find us, probably." Pepper replied.

"Yeah but-" Darcy cut off as a sudden alarm sounded, loud and shrill and urgent.

Red lights flashed dangerously in the room. Everyone was on their feet in less than a second, the ones who were armed reached for weapons.

"Calm down," Stark said, sounding anything but calm himself as he ran to the security screens in the corner of the room. "It could just be some kids or something. Teenagers who want to graffiti the barn, something-" His voice cut off as he looked at the monitors. "Okay fuck ignore that, it's him."

"Him?" Someone asked. Darcy was too panicked to notice who.

"Yeah the only 'him' who matters right now." Stark snapped. "Right we need to get out."

Darcy's feet managed to move and she ran to the monitors, unable to believe what Stark was saying.

Loki's slim figure on the screens was like a punch to the gut. She could barely refrain from doubling over. Two black cars were thundering down the lane towards the barn, Loki's silhouette unmistakeably in the back of one.

Fuck.

"We need to go!" Stark insisted.

"We won't make it." Natasha said from behind her.

"I have ways out!" Stark shouted, walking towards Pepper as though to pull her along.

"And he'll follow us." Natasha retorted sharply. "Besides he's too close. We won't make it." Unlike the rest who were panicking, she and Clint seemed tensed and ready. They were used to it and they alone seemed ready to fight back. Even Steve looked slightly uneasy, not quite in battle mode yet. "We need a distraction." Natasha said.

"I'll do it." A voice said. Every voice turned to her and she realised the words had come from her own mouth. She swallowed. "I'll do it." She repeated. "The rest of you need to get the hell out of here."

"Are you insane?" Jane's asked, the only distinguishable sentence in the babble of arguments that greeted her. Darcy bit back a smile despite the imminent danger, she was oddly touched by the fact none of them wanted her to end up with Loki, even if it ensured their escape.

"Stop." She told them sternly, her stomach clenching. Why was she so eager to do this? Adrenaline thrummed through her veins and goosebumps trailed across her arms. She was piss-her-pants terrified but at the same time she knew that she had to do this, she felt that crushing certainty in the pit of her stomach. "This is important. He's coming and we don't have time to argue this. I'm the one here he wants most-"

"So he'll torture you!" Pepper protested.

"What do you think he'll do to you if he captures you?" Darcy's voice was shrill. "I'm the only one here who stands a chance in delaying him to give the others a chance to escape. I could talk to him or something, slow him down. It has to be me."

She had to resist a shiver of fear at the idea of being alone with Loki. What  _would_ he do to her?

"We'll stay and fight." Stark said.

"You can't!" Darcy said. Why didn't they understand? "This is bigger than me! This is bigger than all of us! This is about stopping Loki and you lot are the only ones that can do that. You have to get out and perfect this vibranium thing and this is the only way I can help. Loki can't capture you. He'd make it public and...you don't get it. What you guys are for the rest of us. You're a symbol of something greater. That we can all achieve something if we try. That we can all be heroes. While you're free, humanity has hope. You get captured and that is gone. We have nothing. You can't..."

Darcy's voice trailed off as she realised her inspirational speech could have come straight out of a Z-list movie. She prayed it worked. She had to get them all out. Loki could do whatever he wanted to her as long as they were safe. She didn't care anymore, just as long as her friends were out of his reach.

They'd all stared at her in shock as she spoke.

"She's right." Natasha said. "We don't have time to all escape and she's the only one who can stop him."

"You aren't serious!" Jane shouted at her. Darcy's eyes widened. Jane never shouted at anyone, let alone someone as intimidating as Natasha Romanoff. "You can't just sacrifice Darcy like she's some aspect to your escape plan!"

"She's part of the team." Clint said, naturally siding with Natasha. "That involves her making her own decisions."

"And when her decision is to do something like this?" Pepper snapped at him.

Stark glared at Barton and Romanoff with something verging on hatred, something Darcy hadn't seen on his face since he saw Loki. "And what do you think of all this?" He turned to Steve.

Steve slowly looked up and met her eyes. Darcy gave a short nod, pleading him to side with her.

"I think," He said slowly. "We should respect her choice."

They glared at each other, the group splitting in half with Stark, Jane and Pepper on one side and Steve, Natasha and Clint on the other.

The roof above them shook.

"We don't have time for this!" Darcy practically screamed. "Get out!"

Stark moved, arm pulling Pepper forward. He may not have wanted to let Darcy do this but there was no way he was allowing Pepper to stay in the line of danger. Steve ushered Jane forwards. She sent Darcy one last look before running.

The others ran too, even Darcy for a few steps, in sheer panic.

God he was coming.

Loki.

Fuck.

And she was alone.

"We may be able to hold him off for a while." Romanoff said behind her.

"What the fuck?" Darcy demanded. "What are you still doing here?"

"What?" She asked, pulling the safety down on the gun in her hand. "You thought we'd let you do this alone?"

" _We?_ " Darcy repeated.

Romanoff nodded up. Darcy looked and saw Barton swinging across the platform that ran around the ceiling, bow in hand as he notched an arrow into place.

"I was doing this so you could be safe!"

"We would never be safe. Not with him out there. And we aren't necessary for the science projects. This way we'll buy them more time. And if he captures all of us then that's less time to spend torturing one individual."

"But he'll torture you too!"

"It wouldn't be a first." Romanoff replied grimly.

"This isn't right." Darcy protested, annoyed. She couldn't even protect all her friends.

"We really don't have time to argue." Natasha said and as if on cue, black clothed agents swarmed into the room.

Darcy saw arrows flying from Barton and Romanoff launched into action, taking down the guards as they walked in while Darcy stood, frozen.

And then she saw him. He walked in with purpose, leather swathed legs pushing him forwards quickly. His black hair was pushed back like he always used to wear it.

Darcy's breath caught in her throat.

 _Fuck_ , she thought. And she lunged.

 _I still love him_ , she realised.  _And he's here to torture and kill me.  
_

She snatched the gun up off the coffee table, unsure of what she was going to do with a prototype gun but knowing she had to do something because she couldn't let him take Clint and Natasha.

Barton loosed an arrow in his direction. Darcy jumped, thinking it would hit him but he caught it, moving so quickly that he was a blur. He tossed the arrow aside and glared at Barton, a bone chilling smile that promised pain and destruction.

Darcy raised the gun, her throat constricting so it was difficult to breathe. From the corner of her eye she saw Romanoff surrounded, too many for even her.

Loki fired a bolt of some magical green light in Barton's direction and he crumpled like a marionette with its strings cut.

Darcy felt like she was being stabbed as the first tear rolled down her cheek. She had to do this. She had no choice.

Yet her fingers trembled. It was one thing for her to decide they had to kill Loki. Quite another to be the one to pull the trigger.

She thought of Clint and Natasha risking their lives so she wouldn't be alone with him, all her other friends who were in danger of him finding them, of Skye and Matt and Rhodes who were being controlled by him.

She aimed, she only had one shot. Only one bullet that might actually stop him. She pointed the barrel slightly higher than his chest.

 _You need to aim higher to make up for your lack of height_. His voice rang in her ears, a memory of his arms around her, holding her as he taught her how to fire a gun. He'd taunted her, knowing how uncomfortable she felt being so close to him.

_Do you regret teaching me now Loki? Do you regret doing everything you did with me?  
_

She blinked out another tear and Loki turned, his hair and cloak swirling about him as his clear green eyes locked onto hers across the room.

Her tears were damp on her cheeks.

 _I hate you._ She thought.  _And I love you. And I hate you for making me love you._

She pulled the trigger. Time seemed to slow. She could follow the path of the silvery blue bullet as it flew out of the gun, through the air and towards Loki. He threw up a force field, the bluish light rippling in the air and he began to walk towards her, not even thinking to check if the force field had worked.

The bullet cut straight through it, tearing forcefully into his shoulder. Darcy had aimed too high, whether accidentally or on some subconscious level on purpose she didn't know.

Either way it wasn't enough.

He staggered back a few steps, his expression shocked as he held his fingers to the wound, withdrawing them sticky with blood. But he was a God and a bullet to the shoulder wouldn't even have stopped a mortal man.

His expression morphed to betrayal. That was somehow worse than murderous anger because it squeezed on the part of her that loved him rather than despised him, the two parts at war with themselves.

He glared at her, eyes back on her and he started towards her.

Darcy didn't think but desperately pulled the trigger again and again, emptying rounds of normal bullets and watching them fly straight at him as she desperately prayed one might work.

He threw up force fields almost lazily, knocking them away with ease and stalked towards her quickly in a way that made her want to hide in a cupboard.

She fired the last bullet and his hand closed on her wrist. His skin sent tingles down into the bones. She was breathing deeply. The stupid idiot. The fucking bastard.

It was over. She'd lost. Tears stained her cheeks but she was no longer crying. Her eyes were fixed on the gun that had failed her, on the hand that enclosed her own and slowly, defiantly she lifted them to meet his, not even forcing herself to look at him with hatred because it came naturally. Only their defeat had managed to succeed in wiping away the more sensitive feelings she had in regards to him.

His eyes were a storm of betrayal, hurt and anger.

For a moment they seemed the only two people in the world, isolated and alone. The connection they once had was broken, scattered into a million shards embedded in their skin, searing their hearts in two.

His grip tightened on her wrist, forcing her hand open and the gun clattered to the floor, the noise jolting her out of the reverie his eyes had cast her into.

"Loki," Romanoff said. Darcy turned sharply to look at her. She was surrounded by bodies and was aiming a gun at Loki whose eyes hadn't moved from Darcy.

"Let go of her or I shoot."

Loki smiled. "Now agent Romanoff," He spoke clearly, a subtle menace to it that was at once terrifying and, Darcy was ashamed to say, attractive. "I thought we knew each other better than that. I can stop any bullet you send my way."

"I'm not going to shoot you." Romanoff snapped. "Let go of Darcy or I'll shoot her."

Darcy turned to Loki, a reaction she wasn't even aware she still had from a lost time when being threatened meant he'd help her. She didn't know what he'd do know. His jaw was tight in a way she associated with furious anger.

"You think I would not repel any bullet you fire at Darcy?" He hissed.

"I don't know." Romanoff said. "Shall we find out if you're quick enough?"

For a moment Loki's grip on her wrist loosened by a fraction. Suddenly more SHIELD agents poured in through the doors, aiming guns a lot bigger than the one Romanoff had pointed at Darcy at the spy.

Loki grinned again, a look of victory this time. "Place your gun on the floor agent Romanoff. I assure their bullets will kill you long before any of yours reach us."

Darcy locked eyes with Natasha. Saw that they had truly lost.

Darcy heard Natasha drop the gun. Loki had returned to her, a brief flash of betrayal crossing his face again. Darcy glared defiantly back.

It was over. They'd lost.

Loki had won.

He let go of her wrist with such force that she actually staggered back a few steps.

Loki turned to address the assembled SHIELD members. "Arrest them." He spat, his eyes flicking to hers. This time there was no hurt. They had hardened into pure anger. "Arrest them all."

And then he turned, storming away from her.

Someone grabbed her from behind and the last thing she felt was a sharp prick on her neck before the world went black.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Angel With A Shotgun by The Cab. Please don't kill me... thanks for reading and reviewing *runs*
> 
> *It has since been pointed out that it was a mistaken novelisation of Iron Man 2 that named the substance this and it is not actually compliant with comic book canon but I am too lazy to change it so kindly ignore this fact.  
> 
> (Also my last exam is this week but I'm on holiday in a fortnight so won't be able to update. To compensate next week's chapter will be twice as long as usual)


	51. Your Heart On The Line

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Friendly reminder this is a long update because I can't update next week. 
> 
> Trigger warning: suicide

 

Darcy's eyelids felt glued shut and her mind was too addled to think straight. She peeled her eyes open with some effort, conscious of the feel of fabric beneath her. She blinked a few times, trying to clear her mind as the room before her swam in a swirl of colours.

She was in a bedroom that appeared to be a mix of the ones she'd seen on Asgard and her own one in New Mexico. The furniture was of an elaborate make, cut from rich, dark wood. There was a cream carpet on the floor, and the fabric beneath her was luxurious and soft to the touch, stretching over the bed in an expanse of swirling greens and marbled viridians.

Darcy tried to move to explore the rest of the room but the soft rattle of metal made her look down at her wrists. They were cuffed in gold manacles, like the ones on Asgard but much lighter. Tiny runes were etched into them, far more complex than anything Loki had ever taught her. The handcuffs were connected by a long chain to a bolt in the wall.

Darcy's stomach clenched with anxiety. She'd expected a horrible dungeon where she would be tortured into insanity. Not this. And if he was going to give her such nice accommodation then what was the point in handcuffing her?

It didn't make sense.

Unless...she glanced at the sheets beneath her. The bed was larger than king size and took up most of the room.

 _No,_  she thought in horror,  _not even he would...  
_

But what other explanation was there?

Did he really think he could arrest her for rejecting him, chain her up and then expect her to...to still be up for  _that?_  Just tie her up and visit whenever he was horny?

Darcy's eyes widened as she tried to grasp the full gravity of her situation. Holy shit.

She was pleasantly surprised, at the very least, to find that there wasn't the least part of her that felt any sort of affection towards him. He'd destroyed all that when he arrested her. People had always said that hate and love were very similar but Darcy had no idea just how easy it was to vacillate from one to the other. She felt a deep sort of loathing when she thought of him, like her fingers were itching for another vibranium filled gun.

She scrambled off the bed, pulling the chains with her and headed to the closet. The chains clattered loudly. That absolute dick. How  _dare_  he?

She half expected to find the closet full of erotic outfits or something. Instead she found the clothes she'd left at Stark's tower before they'd escaped. She thought of the way Loki had glared at her in the tunnel.

The hatred was mutual, apparently.

Her eyes flicked to the bed again. God, it took up so much of the room. Her lip curled in revulsion and her mind set.

She wouldn't do it. No matter what he said or threatened or expected. She wouldn't agree or go along with it. She'd fight him with every ounce of strength she had.

 _Why let it get to that point?_  She wondered, looking round the room.  _Maybe you could stop him before he ever tried it...  
_

The closet contained shelves rather than a rail so there were no hangers. She walked to the door opposite the room, leading into a large bathroom which

Darcy's chain just stretched enough to allow her through, though she couldn't reach the corners. The medicine cabinet contained a few plasters, two pain killers and some stomach pills. She had toiletries but no razor. She returned to the main room. There had to be something she could use as a weapon.

She was certain she was being watched but she didn't care. She had to try. If she didn't then she'd never forgive herself.

Her eyes flicked to the lamp on the bedside table. It was crude and had an infinitesimal chance of working but it was better than nothing. She shattered the bulb and looked down at the shards.

There  _was_ another option. One that she really didn't want to take. One she'd vowed she never would when Izzy had chosen that path.

But compared to spending the rest of her life as a sex toy?

She swallowed. She'd try attacking him first. If that didn't work...she hid the second largest piece in her wardrobe and clutched the largest shard so tightly it cut into her own skin.

She was prepared for him to visit, knowing he would.

 _And he drugged me_ , she thought with revulsion. Her mind was still ragged at the edges, her thoughts somewhat fuzzy. It felt like it was taking a lot of effort for her to think coherently. She'd been out of bullets. She was no SHIELD agent. She would have gone with him without any more complaints. They didn't have to stick a needle in her neck and chain her while she slept.

She waited for hours. She'd been so certain that he'd visit as soon as she woke but apparently he'd keep her waiting. So much for Romanoff's theory.

She'd been waiting for the turning of a door handle, the clack of locks or a footstep. She didn't realise Loki would just teleport right in and didn't notice when he did.

"Darcy," His voice said gently behind her.

She started, and turned round to face him, the shard of glass in her hands masked from his sight.

"Loki!" She squealed, running towards him, her chain rattling.

He smiled, startled but clearly happy. As she reached him, she raised her hands, hoping the movement was too swift for him to notice. She brought the shard down hard into the side of his neck.

Or would have if he hadn't grabbed her wrists and spun her so that she had her back to him, her arms twisted behind almost painfully. She couldn't move. He tightened his grip on her wrist and the shard fell just like the gun had.

Fuck, now she had nothing. She felt anger rise at the helplessness of her situation.

He turned her sharply back round, hand still tight on her wrist.

He looked at her with a mix of scorn, condescension and disappointment. "Did you  _really_ think that would work?" Loki asked.

"I had to try." She hissed through gritted teeth.

"Tell me," He said. "Are you going to make an attempt on my life every time you see me?"

"Yes." she spat.

"Hmm," He responded thoughtfully, the amused smile playing on his lips merely serving to further fuel her agitation. He pulled her wrists suddenly, jerking her forward so that he could grab a section of the metal chain. "Then perhaps a shorter chain..." He pondered aloud.

Darcy laughed mirthlessly, more at herself for ever having liked him. "Oh you bastard." She said, aiming a foot at his shin. He dodged it easily and stepped back, letting go of her. She couldn't reach him, her chain already as taut as it would go.

The smile fell from his face as he looked at her, sobering. "I did not come here to taunt you." He said, almost as though he were angry at having let himself do just that.

"No, I know what you came here for." Darcy snapped. "And you can forget it. You aren't keeping me chained here as some bed slave for you to use when you please. And yeah you can probably make me but I will fight you even if it doesn't work. I'll never stop."

His expression didn't change much, and it was probably only because she knew him so well that she noticed he looked slightly hurt. He was silent for a moment. "You really think me capable of that?" He asked.

Darcy laughed spitefully. "You take over my world, implement a bunch of ridiculous laws and kill thousands yet you still expect me to have a high opinion of you? Yeah Loki, I'm not thinking rape is beyond your capabilities."

He looked as though she had slapped him. Well it was nice to know there existed some moral line that he wouldn't cross.

"I would never do that." He said quietly. "To you or anyone."

Darcy rolled her eyes, knowing he was telling the truth but wanting to piss him off anyway. "Yeah and I believe you." She turned from him to sit on the edge of the bed. "So tell me, if you aren't here to rape me then what are you here for?"

"You." He said.

Darcy narrowed her eyes at him. "You have me." She said, raising her chained hands. "It's what you wanted isn't it? Me chained and unable to walk away from you?"

"By the Nine Realms, Darcy," He muttered. "You think I did all this because you spurned my affection?"

She looked at him questioningly, for the first time her anger slipping. "You didn't?"

"Of course not." He laughed bitterly. "You would hardly be the first. Possibly the first for whom I...Nevermind. No. I did not conquer Earth in order to take you back."

"Then why?" Darcy demanded. "To annoy Thor? Payback on the avengers?"

He rolled his eyes. "You have very limited views of my motivation."

"Oh yes, do forgive me," She said pedantically. "Loki acting for revenge? Whatever was I thinking?"

He crossed his arms and leant back against the wall. "Do you wish for me to explain or not?"

"So it's not for revenge on the avengers?" She asked sceptically, silently adding  _and me?_

"No." His eyes narrowed as though he were growing aggravated by her comments. The sight sent a thrill of satisfaction for through her. If pissing Loki off was all she had left then she was going to go for it.

"So I'm assuming you let Barton and Romanoff go then." She said doubtfully.

He cocked his head to the side. "Not quite." He said.

Darcy swallowed, her mouth dry. She tried not to let on just how many knots her stomach had tied itself into but her efforts were wasted for as she spoke her voice was scarcely louder than a whisper. "Are they alive?"

Loki's gaze cut sharply to her, eyebrows furrowed in concern at her sudden change of tone. "Yes, they are alive." He confirmed and Darcy felt the knots loosen slightly.

 _That was good then_ , Darcy thought as she exhaled. Especially Natasha. Clint worked better from a distance but this was Natasha's area of expertise; letting people, especially men, think they'd bested her before raising hell.

Perhaps some of her relief showed on her face because Loki followed these words pointedly. "They are being kept sedated and imprisoned."

Darcy paused, gaping.

" _What?_ "

Loki smirked. "Your  _friends_ ," He sneered the word. "Are too dangerous to be allowed to remain conscious. Yet I may still have a use for them."

Darcy gaped. "You are kidding me, right?"

"Not at all." He said. "They defied my rule; I am entitled to do with them as I wish."

"See now I know why you chained me up. It's to stop me slapping some sense into you. Jesus Christ, Loki. What the hell is wrong with you?" She asked.

He narrowed his eyes at her. "I'm certain we could compile a list if you so wished but right now I have far more important things to discuss."

"Like what? Why you locked me up here? You know, after you drugged me. And what took you so long?"

"Someone shot me." He snapped.

"It worked?" Darcy asked, unable to stop a grin from flitting across her face. Anything to hurt him.

"A matter of opinion." He said. "I was unable to stop the bullet but equally it did not kill me as I assume was your intent." He smiled crookedly. "My my, Darcy. When I saw you last you declared your love for me. How things change."

"Yeah things change like your ex-boyfriend enslaving your race and holding you captive by chaining you to a bed. I wonder how that could possibly have killed the romance. Oh and did I mention the drugging? I don't think I mentioned the drugging." She retorted.

"It was necessary." Loki said. "Else you would have attempted to escape."

She smiled at him fondly. "Oh sweetie why on Earth would I try to escape you? You treat me so well." She rolled her eyes. "Dear God, do you even hear the words that come out of your mouth? 'Escape' really?  _Really?_  I shouldn't have to 'escape' because you shouldn't be holding me captive in the first place!"

"I have to." He snarled. "You hate me for it? Then so be it. I care not so long as you are safe."

That pulled her up short. "And what exactly are you keeping me safe from?" She asked slowly, raising her hands to rattle her handcuffs. "The only one who's a threat to me right now is you."

"And you think I would harm you?" Loki asked, eyes going skyward. "Of course, why not?"

"You're the one who stuck me in chains, Loki." Darcy pointed out.

Loki shook his head slowly. "Will you allow me to explain all this?"

Darcy's lips tightened. God only knew she wanted an explanation but equally Loki wanted to give her one and she was feeling rather reluctant to give Loki anything he wanted right now. "Fine, go ahead." She said before bitterly adding, "And it better be a damn good one because I don't think anything justifies you taking over the world."

He took a deep breath, despite all he'd argued for the chance to explain he suddenly seemed lost for words. "I received further threats." He said calmly as though he were stating what he'd had for breakfast.

Darcy's eyes widened slightly in shock but she fought to keep her voice calm. "From people other than me, you mean? Because let me tell you, I'm still planning on killing you, you-"

"From Thanos." He interrupted sharply.

Darcy paused, looking at him in confusion. "Who's he?"

"I assume he is in none of your Midgardian mythology?" Loki asked.

Darcy racked her brains. She'd read so many books on the subject after meeting Thor she could probably have a degree in it. "Thanatos?" She suggested, the only person who sprang to mind. "The Greek God of death. Although Greek mythology is a lot older than Norse."

"Possibly." Loki said. "He is ancient, even to Asgard. Of a race that come the closest to what we may call Gods. It is possible the mythology twisted it somewhat."

"Okay but angels of death aside," Darcy said, going to cross her arms before realising she couldn't with her wrists cuffed and letting them fall into her lap instead. "What does any of this have to do with your current world domination?"

"Darcy, Thanos orchestrated the attack on Earth for the tesseract." Loki said.

Darcy looked at him, eyes narrowed. He would not meet her eyes. Her throat constricted and she felt a slight twinge inside her which implied not quite all the affection she'd ever felt about him had vanished. She didn't speak until she knew her voice was controlled. "The one who tortured you?" She asked, her voice calm.

Loki still didn't look at her, just leant back against the wall, staring at the opposite corner of the room. "Yes." He confirmed.

And Darcy could imagine it. Loki falling through space; heartbroken, empty and hollow. Wanting nothing but the swift release of death and instead falling into the clutches of some ancient deity he probably hadn't even believed existed. And then mentally and physically tortured to the brink of insanity, forced to succeed in bringing them the tesseract or face more pain if he failed.

Darcy nodded. Okay so this Thanos didn't sound like someone to get on the wrong side of. After all just how powerful did someone have to be to make Loki of all people do something?

"And he was the one who sent you those threats?" Darcy asked. "Why?"

Loki laughed without humour. "Apparently he did not take too kindly to me leading his army into annihilation."

"But that was the Avengers!" Darcy protested before realising that meant she was defending Loki and her vision was still a bit fuzzy from the drug so she wasn't forgiving him yet. "Speaking of...did they...I mean did you..."

"They evaded me." Loki snapped. "A pity. Their assistance could have been useful."

"Right, because they'd assist you. After you drugged Hawkeye and The Black Widow. Let me guess, Banner's had a similar treatment? Oh and don't even get me started on Thor." Darcy said. Loki glared at her at the mention of his brother's name but Darcy didn't care. She was feeling very Team Thor at the moment.

"He is alive. In prison with the Allfather."

"Right, family sticking together and what not..." Darcy muttered. He ignored her. "And okay I get that these threats are bad and everything but this Thanos guy had his army destroyed right? And he's only got human minions now." Darcy thought of the people who'd come after them. Well at least the mind control thing was explained now if Thanos had similar powers to Loki's sceptre. Given that he'd given it to him she assumed this was a pretty safe bet. "So surely you were safe on Asgard? Why come take over Earth?" She asked.

He was silent, again looking like he was struggling to find the right words and looking everywhere but at Darcy. "The threats...they were no longer targeted at me."

Darcy frowned. "But then who...?"

"You." He said simply, meeting her eyes.

Adrenaline suddenly pumped through her veins, her heart racing. "What?" She asked, struggling to comprehend what he was saying. "They were threatening me? But why?"

He gave her a look which suggested he believed that answer was obvious and went without saying. "I presume because he discovered our..." He trailed off into silence. Darcy supposed there wasn't really a word that summarised all that had happened between her and Loki though "train wreck" sprang to mind.

"And why would you taking over Earth help with that?" She asked.

"Initially to find you. I believed it would be easier with the assistance of SHIELD but I had no idea you would successfully go into hiding with the members of the avengers though I must admit I'm impressed."

"Yeah well I didn't really do much. Just followed...and threw my shoe at you. Why didn't you follow us in Stark's garage?"

"To stop the vehicle leaving would have risked injuring you. Rather counterproductive given my intent." He smirked.

"Right because destruction was your only option." She muttered. "Okay so anyway, why did you feel taking over the world was your only option? Not like I'm hard to find. And your new rules...they're ridiculous. That is so not how you rule the world."

"I told you I was not concerned with ruling the world. I required access to governments, satellites...your other human monitoring devices. My magic is unable to detect Thanos, and he alludes the eyes of the gatekeeper as well."

"So those things you built," Darcy asked, thinking of Pepper's findings. "They're to search for this Thanos guy?"

"Yes." He confirmed.

"And your new rules?" She asked.

"I required the best mortals to search." He said simply though Darcy wasn't quite sure he'd gone the right way about getting that.

"And did you find him?"

Loki hesitated. "Not yet."

"What do you mean not yet?" Darcy demanded. "You've been here for months. How have you not found him?"

"He has powers far stronger than my own." Loki said agitated like it was embarrassing to admit.

"Then why does he want revenge? I get you destroyed his army but if he's some big, powerful God then why would he care about you? And even more, why would he care about me?" Darcy asked.

"He lost everything, Darcy. I imagine he is clinging onto the hope of revenge...it is probably all that he has. That makes him very desperate and extremely dangerous." Loki said.

Darcy considered all that he had said. "Right," She said. "Well I don't believe you."

"What?" He scowled at her. He clearly hadn't expected this.

"I don't believe you." She repeated.

He was clearly fighting to remain calm, his teeth clenched and arms tight. "And may I inquire as to why that might be?"

"Hmm let me think." Darcy said sarcastically. "You're the God of lies. Why on Earth would I trust you? And I'm still hearing no explanations for you chaining me to the bed."

"You wish for an explanation for that?" Loki asked, almost relieved.

"No, I don't want an explanation for that." She snapped. "I know why, to stop me leaving here."

"No actually that would be the purpose of the locked door," He gestured to the door, finally rising to her taunts with his usual sarcasm. "The chains are inscribed with complex magic, currently the only thing preventing Thanos from accessing your mind."

"You've been here over a month." She retorted. "You've been having these threats for a while so why do you think he'll try to access my mind now?"

"I suggest we do not give him the opportunity." Loki replied. "I cannot deliver proof of Thanos's threats but if it is evidence you wish for my efforts to find him then come, I shall show you."

Loki walked over to her where she was sat and lifted her chained wrists, a key suddenly in his hands.

"You're not going to try to kill me again, are you?" He muttered as he turned the key in the lock.

She pulled her hands away from him the moment they were free, not wanting him to touch her for longer than was necessary. She rubbed her sore wrists ruefully, the chains may not have been as heavy as the ones Odin had put her in but they were just as tight.

"I make no promises." She replied, standing up. She swayed slightly, the drug still making her feel a bit dizzy.

Loki reached out to steady her but her glare stopped him. "Touch me again and I will cut off your fingers." She snapped, hugging her arms around herself.

Loki looked like he was biting back a smile. "Quite a different attitude to usual." He commented dryly.

"This isn't exactly our normal situation." Darcy replied venomously. She walked forwards before realising Loki wasn't at her side. "Well?" She demanded. "Are you showing me or not?"

"Unfortunately that door does not unlock from this side." He said, not sounding at all like he thought it was unfortunate.

Her eyes narrowed. "Tell me again how this isn't a prison cell?" She said.

He looked round as he took her arm, her skin hypersensitive to his touch, even through the jumper. "Well it's a lot more pleasant, for one." He said.

Darcy felt her eyes forced shut as her feet left the ground. Less than a second later she felt them slam onto the floor again and she peeled her eyes open.

They were standing in a hallway with people in SHIELD uniforms rushing past, throwing slightly alarmed looks at Loki and looks of curiosity at Darcy before looking away again like they'd be whipped if they were caught looking.

Darcy pulled her arm away and stepped away from Loki without looking at him. The hallway was entirely white giving it a slightly medicinal, clinical feel to it. People sped up to walk past them.

"What did you do to them?" She demanded, rounding on Loki.

He shook his head slightly. "An element of fear leads to better results."

She glared daggers at him. "And you think you'd make a good ruler?" She hissed.

"I've told you." He said in a tone that said she was grating on him.  _Good_ , she thought. "I do not care about ruling. I care about finding Thanos and destroying him before he finds you."

Darcy rolled her eyes. "Right. And once you've destroyed Thanos you'll just hop back on the bifrost and leave."

He didn't answer.

He started walking down the hall. He didn't wait to see if she was following but her curiosity over Thanos, and whether Loki was actually telling the truth, was too great so she followed him.

"Satellites," Loki said, gesturing into the first room. "Scouring every inch of this rock."

"Searching for Thanos and not the Avengers?" Darcy asked disbelievingly.

Loki sighed and entered. He clearly expected her to just believe him and not to have to show her everything. The people in the room tensed as he entered but didn't look up.

Darcy glared at Loki. She could hardly remember a time where she was scared of him. To see other people be was jarring.

He walked to one of the computers, her following at his side. The screen showed a map of Earth but its colours were subdued with pulses radiating out from various points. It certainly didn't look like something you could use to search for specific people.

"I take it," Loki whispered in her ear, goosebumps shuddering against her skin where his breath touched. "From the research I found in your base, that you are acquainted with the fact magic is energy."

Darcy turned on him in alarm. He'd found the research. He laughed. "Worry not, I expected that group of so-called heroes to work on some way to stop me. I merely had not expected you to be helping them."

She turned to tell him he damn well deserved it but he spoke before she could. "A sign I ought not underestimate you again." He gestured to the computers.

"Thanos is capable of magic, a different type to my own but detectable nonetheless. These are searching for it."

Darcy had to admit that was what the computers looked like they were doing.

She left the room, knowing he was following. When they were outside she leant against the wall. Loki may be content to whisper to her in a room full of people but Darcy didn't want to get quite so close to him.

"Do they know?" She said in a low voice. "What they are searching for?"

"Of course not." He said as though the answer was obvious. It probably was, it had taken him a year to tell her everything about the threats, she doubted he'd tell a hoard of SHIELD agents. "They are told only what they need to in order to carry out their jobs competently."

"And they're all doing this?" She asked.

"The majority." He answered. "Some are searching in other ways."

He started away down the hall and she followed, needing more answers. Every door they passed was full of more people. More computers. Maps on walls. Surveillance of every sort.

He stopped at the end. "All of them searching for Thanos." Loki said.

Darcy nodded, slightly shellshocked. Loki took her arm and her feet slipped from under her.

She landed back in her room, or cell. Loki made no immediate move to chain her arms again and she wasn't going to say anything. She walked forwards a few steps, her back to him.

She couldn't bear to look at him right now. She was so confused.

"Do you believe me now?" He asked.

Darcy thought for a moment. Did she? Thanos was definitely the one contacting him. She believed that. And she believed he was searching for him. She could even believe that Thanos was the only reason he had taken over the world.

But there was still a problem.

"There's one thing I don't get." She said.

"What is it?" He asked.

She turned to him. "You said he was threatening me." Loki nodded, waiting for her to continue. "You said it was because he found out about...whatever we had. And that might be so. But that's over now. Why not just let him get me? Why would you do all this for me?"

Loki looked at her, an element of panic on his face. Darcy searched him carefully. Was that a hint of desperation in his eyes? "Is it really that difficult to understand?" He asked.

Darcy bit her lip. "You let me think you were dead, Loki. You didn't care enough about me to save me from that so why now? Why this?"

"I'm sorry." He said quickly like he was trying to get the words out. Darcy froze, the words so foreign on his lips that they shocked her. He ran a hand through his hair like he was struggling to find the right words. "This is you," He said shaking his head. "You do this...they call me the silvertongue and yet with you I find myself incapable of..."

Darcy still watched him, equally perplexed and unable to speak. This wasn't a Loki she was familiar with.

"I should not have let you believe that I was dead." He said after a moment. "I ought to have told you. It is just...I could not –  _can_ not- see any reason why you would care. I...my mother was the only one who truly cared for me. She knew me as a child, she raised me. You? You had no reason to care. No residual faithfulness. You knew me after all I had done. Why, when I am what I am, would you care?"

"You doubted that I cared?" Darcy asked incredulously, somewhat annoyed. Jesus, what did she have to do to show him?

"Yes." He affirmed. "And I was wrong and as always," He smiled mirthlessly. "I was aware of it too late."

"Yeah well my thoughts aren't important right now." Darcy said. "I'm asking about yours. Why did you come to Earth?"

"Darcy," He said her name like a caress and she started, taken aback. He couldn't talk to her like that. Not now...not after everything. "You are all that I have left. There were two people that I cared for. My mother and you. You left and I could not blame you for it. You were right, I should never have done that to you. I just never believed that you could return even a fraction of the affection I felt for you. And then any that you did reciprocate disappeared and once again it was my fault. Yet my feelings did not change. I could not let any harm befall you. I could not even resent you for leaving, however much I tried."

"Enough." Darcy interrupted, her heart beating painfully in her chest. "Stop. Stop saying stuff like that."

"You asked for the truth."

"AND YOU'RE NOT GIVING IT TO ME!" She shouted, suddenly furious. "You can't start acting and pretending like you care because you don't. You can't pretend like you still cared for me when I was gone because of just that. I was gone. If you cared you would have come."

"You told me you did not want me to." He replied, looking somewhat confused.

"I was angry!" Darcy replied in exasperation. "I thought you were dead! And then I told you I loved you and then nothing! For months all I had was silence until you took over the fucking world."

"And if I had come to you what then?" He demanded. "You made it perfectly clear that you felt you were better off without me and for once I was inclined to believe you."

"What?" Darcy asked, irritated and confused all at once.

"You were not with me which is how it should have been."

"What do you mean that's how it should have been?"

"You deserved better." He snapped. "All this time I knew it and yet I put myself first. What did it matter if you belonged with someone better if I was fulfilling my own desires? So yes, I ignored that because you made me happier than I had been in years.

"And of course I could not let myself be happy, no I had to destroy that and you left." Bitterness sent his words spitting across the room. "And I let you because how could I knowingly put you through more? If anything, that made me long for you more."

Darcy felt dizzy, unable to comprehend nor fathom that he was actually saying all this to her. Loki who kept all of his emotions under lock and key finally telling her how he felt. Something gleamed in his eyes like he was unable to stop now that he'd started.

"I...Darcy I do not..." He shook his head and Darcy tried not to think how adorable that action was. His voice became more gentle. "You made me aware of things I had not thought about in years. Feelings I had long since denied being capable of." With each word he spoke quicker, like they were coming easier. Despite herself, butterflies flitted about in her tummy, her muscles tensing.

"I cannot say that I love you." He said simply. "For I think I am long past the point of being able to feel such a thing. With you I am rash and jealous and protective and a thousand other horrible things. Yet without you I am utterly miserable and I am far too selfish a man to allow that to continue. Send me away and I will condemn myself to it. I will deserve it. I will ensure your safety and leave you. But Darcy..." He trailed off, shaking his head like he'd screwed everything up. Adrenaline raced through her veins. "Darcy you've no idea what you do to me..."

"Being who and what I am, I am not capable of that mortal obsession: love. But whatever allusions I may have towards it, whatever semblance of affection I can manage, it is for you, Darcy." He breathed. "It is all for you."

He crossed the room to her, taking her hands in his. She was too startled to resist.

"When I saw you last," He said, meeting her eyes, his own pleading. "You told me that you loved me. Your actions speak plainly enough but I fear for my sanity I must hear you say it, what is it you feel now?"

Darcy's eyes widened. What did she feel now? How the hell was she supposed to know? She'd gone from loving him to missing him to hating him whilst loving him to pure hatred and now he wanted her to love him again? How was she supposed to process all that?

But yet the way her heart was racing. The way her eyes kept falling to his lips. The way she only wanted to cry and hit him and smother herself in his arms...what did all that say? It was all a huge roar in her head but there was one thing she felt, even if she wanted it not to be true, she was certain of. She opened her mouth to tell him she wanted nothing to do with him but for some reason she just couldn't.

"Well," She said after a few moments, finally surrendering to the horrible truth. "I don't hate you."

His hands moved to her jaw, lifting her face up. And she let him, let him open his mouth against hers, let him trap her lips, let his breath fill her lungs.

And then she didn't care. Screw it all, she wanted this. Her fingers wound into his hair, gripping it so tightly if he were mortal it would have hurt. She pulled him close to her, their bodies pressing against each other.  _Loki_ , she thought almost giddily. Because despite whatever else she'd thought in the past few months, she'd missed him.

She ran her tongue along his teeth. He trapped her bottom lip between his. Her whole body was on fire and she surrendered to it. Let the flames consume her.

He gasped for breath. "Valhalla, I've missed you." He breathed against her.

He pressed his lips back and she melted against him.

But then all at once it came back. The lies. The pain.

She pulled away, breathless with tears threatening to spring into her eyes. He moved back against her but her hand moved to his lips, stopping him.

"I can't." She said. "I'm sorry...I can't."

She lowered her hand. She was still just as close to him, just not pressed up. She could practically hear his rapid heartbeat.

She chanced a glance at him, not knowing what to expect. Thinly veiled hurt shone in his eyes, his gaze transfixed on her.

"Oh God," She turned away from him, walked to the bed. "I'm sorry Loki," She sat on the bed. "I really don't know what to think."

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"I mean that...I loved you. And then I thought you were dead and...you have to understand that that was awful. One of the worst things I've ever been through and you did that consciously."

"I have apologised." He said, not rudely.

"I know, I'm not having a go at you. Just trying to make you understand. And then we had that fight and I dumped your sorry ass." She smirked at him. "But that was hard too because I still loved you. And then you took over SHIELD and I was pissed off. And then-" She'd gone to say Romanoff but figured it was better not to name anyone. "We thought you'd done it because you wanted revenge on me for leaving. Then I shot you which sucked because I still kind of had feelings for you-"

"It was none too fun for me either." He muttered.

She smiled. She probably shouldn't have been quite so proud of shooting her ex-boyfriend. "And then you drugged me and chained me to a bed. At this point all feelings for you comprised mainly of hatred. And then you tell me you did it all to protect me and I'm not saying I condone what you did but...Jesus Loki what am I supposed to think after all that? I'm getting a headache just thinking about it."

"So what does that mean?" He asked, walking over to sit next to her on the bed.

God she'd really missed him, she thought as she looked at him. But that wariness she had around him? That was new. She didn't want to give him an opportunity to hurt her again.

"It means I don't hate you." She said slowly. "And I don't know about the rest."

"So what do we do now?" He asked.

She bit her lip. Where  _did_  they go from here?

She found herself reaching out for his hand.

"I just...in the long term? I really just need some time to think." She asked.

"Of course." He said. She realised he meant it too, he hadn't expected anything so even that was more than enough. He hesitated, again unlike him. God what had gotten into him? "And for now?"

She bit her lip, parts of her at war with herself. The wary side of her warring with the side that wanted to crawl into bed with him. She closed her eyes, her internal conflict almost painful. Oh why the hell not? Fuck it. She could deal with the consequences tomorrow but right now she needed a bout of sheer hedonism. Her eyes opened and met his. "Hold me." She said.

His arm was around her in a second and they leaned backwards against the headboard so that she was nestled into the crook of his arm head against his chest. His heart beat under her ear.

She missed this so much. His warmth. His body against hers. God she'd been so alone and she hadn't even realised.

She inhaled deeply, reminding every sense that he was here. The feel of his leather under her skin. The taste of his lips on hers. The sight of his eyes as he pleaded with her to listen. His voice cracking as he sought the words. And now the intoxicating smell of his skin and clothes.

He may have awoken all sorts of emotion in her but his scent just made her feel safe and secure. After all the fear of capture in her past few weeks she really needed that.

"So tell me," She asked, needing conversation that wasn't so serious. "What was it like ruling Asgard?"

He sighed. "Unbelievably boring."

She laughed. "I so told you."

She felt his chest move as he laughed. "That you did." He said, kissing her forehead.

For a moment it was like they were back in the cell in Asgard, having a conversation and being entirely open and comfortable.

The illusion didn't last long. An hour later Loki turned to her.

"I have to attend to certain duties." He said.

"Do you have to?" She asked. "Can't it wait until tomorrow?"

She didn't want to admit just how uncomfortable the thought of him leaving was.

"I really ought to..." He was on the verge of cracking, she could tell.

"Please," She whispered. "Stay with me. Just for tonight."

Her fingers curled into fists, gripping his leather tightly without her even noticing. She'd only just got him back and whatever else she knew, she knew she didn't want him going just yet.

He was here. Tangible and alive. And for the first time in weeks she felt alive too, truly alive. Her senses heightened so she felt almost immortal. Like she could do anything.

"Oh very well." He said.

"Yay." She said curling into him even more, pressed against his chest. Safe.

"However..." He said.

"What?" She asked, not liking the tone of his voice.

He looked at the chains on the wall then to her.

She pushed against his chest so that she sat up. "No." She told him.

"Without them Thanos can access your consciousness." Loki said, sitting to face her.

"He hasn't tried to yet, what makes you think he will?" Darcy asked.

"He will." Loki said firmly. Given that he'd been held captive and tortured by Thanos she supposed he was telling the truth.

"Then I'll tell you." She said simply. "Come on, trust me."

He frowned. "Fine." Wow she was getting a lot today. "However if he contacts you, you are to tell me immediately."

She rolled her eyes. "Fine." She glanced at the door. "And Loki? You're not actually going to keep that door locked are you?"

He smirked slightly apologetically. "Yes I am."

"Loki!" She threw a pillow at him which he knocked away lazily. "What? You think I'm going to try to escape after you tell me there's a guy out there who wants to torture and kill me?"

"You've told me that you believe me." Loki said. "However I'd be a fool to trust in that completely."

She glared at him. "You don't trust me?"

He smiled. "Not enough to bet your safety upon it."

She let out a groan of frustration. "Jesus, you would think we'd have some trust at some point. So I'm your prisoner?"

He grimaced at the word. "I suppose technically. Though could you not be a willing one?"

"Loki," She said softly. "I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. I get that...that we probably don't have the trust we should have or whatever. But to keep me confined to a room? Will I be able to get out of the building? Even if I got out that door."

"No." He said instantly.

"Then what difference would it make?" She reasoned. "You want me to be willing? Then compromise. I'll...consent to house arrest." She had to give him something. The fact he was worried over her was nice and while she'd never normally let him be so protective, she had to admit the situation did warrant it. "I won't leave the building but I'll go insane if you keep me in here."

He rubbed the back of his neck. "I suppose that would work. However if you try to leave I will chain you back up in here." He said seriously. "Your safety is my primary concern."

She sighed, she'd kind of expected that but to hear him outright threaten that was another thing. She forced herself not to protest, swallowing this one thing.

She was so tired. Her eyelids heavy and her body weary. Far too exhausted to keep arguing.

"Deal." She relented. She lay back down on the bed and after a moment Loki lay down too, keeping an inch between them.

She rolled over to close it, placing an arm over his torso to let him know it was okay. He got the message because he hugged her back. Even in the cell in the single bed they hadn't slept so closely together and with Darcy's recent sleeping habits she doubted she'd be able to sleep anyway.

But it was warm in the room, nestled against him. And after everything that had happened she was surprisingly content. Slowly, she drifted off.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Little Lion Man by Mumford and Sons (which amuses me because just the idea of Loki whipping out a banjo and aggressively singing that to Darcy damn I should rewrite this). Round of applause to anyone who managed to slog through all that. Thanks for reading and reviewing.


	52. The One In The Wrong

"I will return tonight." Loki promised, kissing her forehead.

"You'd better." Darcy grumbled, she still wasn't entirely happy about him leaving but figured if he was serious about catching this Thanos guy then he probably should attend to the actual work there was to be done. Or he'd better because otherwise there was no reason for him to have taken over Earth.

He disappeared.

A moment later she heard the lock on the door click.

 _Oh yay, I can leave the room,_  she thought before two figures burst in and ran towards her.

"Matt?" She asked as arms were flung around her, having recognised him. She hadn't had time to look at the other so pulled back from the curtain of black hair that blocked her face. "Priya?"

"You're okay..." Matt muttered. "You're actually okay."

He looked exactly the same as he had last time she'd seen him. Same impish looks and curly black hair. Same clear olive skin. No lines or marks or haunted look in his eyes.

How could he look exactly the same when she felt like she'd aged so much?

Goddamit, it wasn't fair.

"Yeah of course I'm okay." She said smiling, she'd been worried for the both of them too. "We thought..." Priya shook her head as she trailed off. She looked the same too only she was wearing a SHIELD jumpsuit rather than a dress. Was she always so tiny? She made Darcy feel massive. Hopefully she wouldn't hug her again, Darcy was afraid she might snap.

"We thought something might have happened." Matt finished for her.

Darcy grinned at him. "As if anything could happen to me with those awesome self-defence skills you taught me."

"And yet you went straight to throwing a shoe at Loki..." Matt joked.

"Yeah well, it was instinctual." Darcy replied, trying not to smile.

"And instead you've been living with the avengers?" He asked.

"Is Captain America really that hot in real life?" Priya asked.

Matt turned to glare at her and she shrugged innocently. Matt tuned back to Darcy. "Well is he?" He said almost curiously.

"Most definitely." Darcy said.

"God I'm jealous." Priya said.

"Me too." Matt admitted.

"So uh..." Darcy started awkwardly. "How have things been around here?"

Priya and Matt exchanged a glance then turned back to her, almost perfectly synchronised. Darcy felt like they were debating telling her something.

"Darcy," Matt said carefully. "We know everything."

"What?" Darcy frowned.  _As_   _if Loki would actually share all that stuff with someone.._. She wondered what he was talking about.

"Loki told us why he's actually here." Priya added.

"Which is?" Darcy questioned, feigning ignorance.

"The Thanos stuff." Matt said.

"Holy shit he actually told you that?" Darcy asked, mouth gaping in shock.

"Yeah, well, we were shocked too." Matt said.

Priya pulled a face at him. "Shocked?" She repeated. "Talk about an understatement. Look Darcy, I know he's your boyfriend and everything-"

"He's not." Darcy corrected automatically before flushing in embarrassment. "I mean it's complicated."

"Either way I know you...anyway he's scary as fuck, okay? It was terrifying." Priya said. "You don't know what it was like here when it first happened. All these Asgardians showed up and demanded we surrendered our weapons and stuff."

"And that worked?" Darcy asked, shocked. She was more under the impression that SHIELD would fight to the last man rather than surrender.

"Some people tried to fight back." Matt said in a voice filled with an intense morbidity that Darcy had never heard it inflected with before. "They...let's just say they didn't make it out alive."

"Who?" Darcy said at once, fearing for the people she knew back in New Mexico.

"No one you know." Matt said. "Dan's boyfriend, my old Supervising Officer...It wasn't too many people. Most had the good sense to surrender."

"So there are guards everywhere and then Loki starts strutting down the halls straight into Fury's office and how he knew he was at the New Mexico base I do not know-"

"Heimdall." Darcy explained. "He's kind of an all-seeing all-hearing sentry."

Darcy would have to ask Loki how he got Heimdall to his side because from what he'd told her, Heimdall had turned against him even when he was the rightful king, before his more psychopathic acts. God, did she know how to pick guys or what?

"Right so Fury surrenders on behalf of SHIELD and they do that video thing I assume you saw and then everyone was given orders." Priya rushed to explain. "Quell resistance before it starts and all that stuff and then we're told he wants to see us."

"What?" Darcy asked. None of this was making any sense. Why would Loki do that?

"We were as confused as you." Matt said. "But it's not like we could refuse."

"He said that he believed we would try to reach you and you know, stop him finding you." Priya said. "So he told us why so that we'd help him find you. He thought you might try to contact us."

"Loki said that?" Darcy asked sceptically.

"Not in quite so many words." Matt added, smirking slightly. "It was a little more aggressive and a lot more threatening."

Darcy sighed. "Well  _that_  sounds more like him."

"And we asked around," Priya said. "Apparently he just demanded to be shown anyone known to be friends with you. It's not like he explicitly remembered us."

"Ahh." Darcy said, it was starting to make sense now. "So...what did he say about Thanos?"

"That he was some ultra God that wanted to kill you." Matt said, actually smiling this time. "I wondered how you'd managed to piss him off."

"Believe me," Darcy said. "This is so not my fault."

That made sense. Loki wouldn't exactly parade the fact he'd been tortured by Thanos. She only knew because he'd let it slip by accident.

"So what happened?" Matt asked. "How did you get out? Because we swarmed Stark Tower pretty quickly. Well obviously we know you drove away but give us details."

"Sorry kids," Darcy said with a grin. "That's classified."

They both began protesting and Darcy smiled more.

"Whatever," Priya said at last, looking at Matt. "Just wait until Loki starts asking for the details."

"He actually hasn't mentioned it." Darcy said.

"That's weird." Matt said. "Anyway, I take it from the fact we were only just allowed to unlock the door that Loki hasn't shown you around?"

"Just a bit to prove he was telling the truth." Darcy said. "And he just zapped us out for that."

"Well I'd love to stick around but I have to get back to work so I'll leave you two to it." Priya said, nodding goodbye to Darcy and quickly kissing Matt.

"Right let's go." Matt said. He led Darcy out of her room. They were in a plain corridor with more rooms lining the sides.

"What's in there?" She asked, nodding to them.

"More bedrooms." Matt said. "It was designed for high ranking prisoners. They're all empty."

"So I'm a high ranking prisoner?" Darcy asked.

"I'd say as girlfriend of the current King of Earth that counts as pretty high ranking, yeah." Matt said, grinning.

"A prisoner?" She repeated.

"Formerly." Matt replied.

"Great let's get out of this building then." Darcy smirked.

"Haha." Matt deadpanned.

"So semi-prisoner then?" Darcy asked.

"Seems accurate." Matt said.

"Where are we, anyway?" Darcy asked.

Matt narrowed his eyes at her. She held hers up in surrender and tried not to laugh. "Not trying to escape," She said, still finding it weird that anyone cared about her enough to worry about her not being contained in a building. "I'm just genuinely curious as to our geographical location."

Matt hesitated for a moment. "I probably shouldn't tell you," He said in what Darcy recognised as his I-am-going-to-regret-this voice. "South Dakota. Just outside of Pierre."

"South Dakota?" Darcy asked. She'd been hoping it wouldn't be some Southern state where she could be separated by hundreds of miles of fields before she reached civilisation. It seemed the kind of isolated place Loki would choose. Mountains instead of fields was much worse. Then again they were just outside of the capital which was good. "Thank God it's summer."

"Well it's a good thing you aren't going outside." Matt said. "You'd probably die at the sight of rain."

"Excuse you, I've seen rain before." Darcy protested.

"Yeah how often exactly does it rain in New Mexico?"

"Dude I'm from Connecticut." Darcy said, jokingly knocking on his head to see if he had a brain in there. "You want rain? We've got buckets up there."

"Fair enough." Matt said, shaking his head. "God I've missed you."

"Jesus did you just say something nice? Are you feeling okay?" Darcy asked with mock concern.

"Don't get used to it." Matt muttered. "Okay," He put on a tour guide voice. "If you walk through here you will find our IT base where all your nerdy programming buddies hang out now that you have surpassed us lowly mortals with your computing skills."

Darcy couldn't really argue against that. It was surprisingly easy to master computers if you had months to do nothing but.

He carried on walking. "So that's where they fix the systems and make sure everything runs right." He said gesturing to the room they'd just passed. "And here's where they develop new programs and systems."

Darcy listened to the rest in a kind of vague haze, listening out only for important stuff she might need to know. On the whole all she'd really learnt was that -with the exception of her room- the base was pretty similar to New Mexico. And London. Apparently SHIELD just had a default base design.

"...where they design each member of staff's daily schedule and rotas." Matt said as they passed a different office on a different floor.

"Really?" Darcy asked, suddenly interested.

"Yeah," He said as she walked up to one of the spare computers. No one in the office paid her much attention. That definitely wouldn't have happened in the old SHIELD. Maybe people just didn't care now that Loki was in charge. He didn't exactly inspire much in the way of loyalty. "Speaking of, while we're here I'm just going to tell them that I'm with you for the next hour or so."

"Okay." Darcy said, concealing the grin that threatened to spread across her face. It was more than she had hoped for. She started tapping on the computer. It required a log in but she hadn't spent months mastering hacking to let something like that stop her.

Within seconds she had all the schedules up.

She started rapidly scanning it but realised how many names and jobs there were on there and knew it was hopeless to search manually.

She hit the search button instead, biting her lip as she wondered what it could be.

_Black Widow.  
_

She typed in tentatively. No results. Her fingers hovered tentatively over the keys.

_Natasha Romanoff.  
_

Nothing. She checked anxiously over her shoulder in case Matt was there. If he saw what she was doing then best case scenario he'd help her...and then end up getting fired though more likely he'd be sentenced for treason. Worst case he would stop her and tell Loki.

_Prisoner.  
_

She typed, being purposefully vague. This time there were results and Darcy couldn't stop herself from grinning this time as she saw that a Dr Mark Jacobson had the job of sedating Prisoner 17652 and 17653 every other hour.

That had to be Romanoff and Barton. Thank God they were in the same building.

She quickly closed all the windows and leant back against the computer casually just as Matt turned to her.

"Come on I'll show you the cafeteria next." He said.

It took just over an hour for him to show her everything and by then her plan was sorted in her head. It was rushed and she wasn't the best at creating plans anyway so it would rely on a great deal of luck.

"I'll hopefully see you tomorrow." Matt said as he dropped her back off at her room.

"Yeah." She said.  _If Loki lets me have visitors_ , she thought silently because even if it all went successfully there was no way he wouldn't find out.

Well there was no point delaying it. She sighed. She was going to be in sooo much trouble...

She slipped back out of the door and started down the hall. Thankfully it was all fairly simply set out so it was unlikely that she'd get lost.

She'd been walking for about a minute when she saw a guard in the hall. Perfect.

"Hi." She said, grinning.

He frowned at her. "You're that girl..."

"Yep that's me." She said. "I'm allowed out my room now."

"I've heard." He was looking at her with disgust. Unfortunately it was a look she'd gotten used to after it got out that she was sleeping with Loki. She hadn't cared, the sex had been more than worth a few dirty looks.

"Yeah so anyway," She said, gesturing down the hall with her left hand while her right carefully reached for his belt. He followed her left hand. "I was looking for the cafeteria. It's just down there isn't it?"

She slipped his pass into her sleeve.

"Yeah to the end of the hall then take a left." He said, like it took effort to talk to her.

"Thanks." She said, walking away before he could notice it was gone, taking special care to walk at a normal pace.

Somehow the guard's unpleasant demeanour made it all easier.

She got into the lift at the end of the hall and pressed the button for the third floor, her heart beating loudly in her chest.  _Christ, what was she doing?_

The doors opened and she hurried out into the thankfully deserted corridors. Matt had shown her where the weapons room was but she wasn't headed there because the security on it was ridiculous. They had minor weapons closets on all floors. Less variety but a lot easier to access. Darcy had chosen this floor because it housed the people searching for Thanos which didn't require much in the way of security.

 _If this works_ , she thought as she made her way to the right door _, I'm a genius.  
_

She bit her lip, checking down the corridors. No one there.

She waved the security pass in front of the door. It clicked open. She scurried through before anyone could see her.

_Oh Loki, you seriously need better security._

The room was about as long as she was with racks of weapons hanging on the sides. She went to a box which contained stun guns. Not quite a taser but close enough.

She shoved two in her pockets.

She was about to leave when she realised that if Clint and Natasha were going to make it back to the others they'd probably need weapons.

There were no bows and arrows, unfortunately and she could hardly walk down the corridors with machine guns.

She sighed and placed one of her stun guns back into the box and replaced the space with a pistol after triple checking that the safety was on.

She shoved two more down the sides of her boots and though the pockets in her jumper were too small to put a gun in, she did have enough for some magazine clips.

In the end she carried the stun gun, keeping her arms crossed so that no one would be able to see it.

Matt hadn't shown her the cells. He'd just gestured to the Floor One button which required a security pass and told her that's where they were.

Darcy waved the stolen pass in the elevator slot and felt it slowly descend down. As her heart beat accelerated, the lift seemed to get slower.

Eventually it clicked open.

She raised the stun gun. If she was caught down here she'd already be in trouble so it didn't really matter if they saw the gun.

The cells were numbered, immediately in front of her was number 11. To her right the numbers increased and to her left they decreased.

The SHIELD's main prison was The Fridge so this was normally only used for temporary prisoners. Apparently Loki just wanted to keep a personal eye on Natasha and Clint.

The schedule said they were in cells 19 and 20 though she couldn't remember which one each was in.

She headed in the right direction. As she turned the corner a guard looked up. This guy could have made mountains look small.

He scowled in her direction. "Hey, you're not supposed to-"

Darcy pulled the stun gun out and fired without even consciously aiming. The beam hit his chest and Darcy jumped in shock that she'd actually managed to hit him. Admittedly he'd been about twenty feet away and a rather large target but she was still surprised.

He hit the ground with a thud that seemed to echo through the whole building.

She started running in the direction of the cells, worried she might be too late.

She reached the doors. She'd been expecting the doctor who was supposed to drug them to be here with a key to their cells but he was nowhere in sight. She bit her lip.

What was she supposed to do now?

"What is-?" A confused voice said. Darcy snapped her head to face back down the corridor where a middle aged, overweight man in a white lab coat was staring at the guard on the floor.

Darcy turned and fired. The bolt missed and the man looked up in horror.

And without waiting, he sprinted in the opposite direction.

"Shit." Darcy muttered as she ran after him.

She couldn't let him raise the alarm. Thank God he was overweight and Steve had made her run laps.

She rounded the corner to see that he wasn't even that far away.

"Sorry." She said, pointing the stun gun at him. She squeezed the trigger and he fell to the floor, twitching slightly.

She ran up to him. He'd been holding the key in his hand, thank The Lord. He also held a box which presumably held the drug he'd been about to inject into her friends.

She picked it up without really knowing why and retreated back to the cell.

She slid the key into the lock of cell 19 and let out a sigh of relief as it clicked.

The cell was tiny with a single light and no windows. Taking up most of the room was a white plastic bed to which Clint was strapped. He was unconscious.

"Clint," She whispered, walking over to him. He was breathing, his chest pushing against the leather he wore. She shook his shoulder. "Clint." She hissed again.

He started fidgeting. She untied the straps while muttering his name. "Clint wake up."

The straps untied she shook his shoulder a bit more aggressively. Still just vague fidgeting.

She winced at what she was about to do but raised her hand anyway.

"Clint!" She said loudly as her hand cracked across his face.

His eyes shot open.

"Darcy?" He asked, an immediate crease forming between his eyes. "Where's Tasha?"

"The cell next door." Darcy replied.

He jolted up but swayed precariously. Darcy reached out to steady him.

"Careful," She said. "You've been kept sedated for a while."

"What on?" He asked, rubbing his forehead.

"Umm well it's in here, one second." She said, clicking the box open. Inside was an array of chemicals. Apparently the doctor had been planning on mixing it here. "Oh shit I don't know."

"Give it here," Clint said reaching out for it. She passed it to him. "Oh yeah, I recognise it. Has to be mixed just before being injected. Any earlier and it's ineffective. Antidote's pretty simple."

And with an almost inhuman speed he mixed a few vials and injected it into his forearm. Darcy watched in a mixture of shock and awe.

"It's not my first time." Clint smirked. He picked up the other syringe and filled it with the same mix. "Now let's get Tash."

He stood up and walked out the door, his stance aggressive.

"Here," Darcy said, handing him the key.

He unlocked the door to the cell and walked over to Natasha who was strapped down just like he had been but fidgeting a bit more.

"Tash," He said gently.

"What?" She asked rapidly, eyes bursting open. Darcy set to work unstrapping her as clint injected the serum.

Natasha swung round on the bed, blinking furiously. "Well, it's not too bad." She said, tentatively flexing an arm.

"Better than that time in Rio." Clint replied.

Natasha grimaced. "God that was nasty."

"We have to go." Darcy said, already worried that they'd spent too much time there.

"Which way?" Clint asked.

"Umm I don't know." She said, trying not to blush. "My friend mentioned a garage so I thought you could get a car or something-"

"Which base is this?" Clint interrupted.

"Umm Pierre, South Dakota."

He looked to Natasha who was glancing up like she was trying to remember something. "Yeah I know where it is." She said, nodding.

"Oh wait, I almost forgot." Darcy pulled the guns and magazine clips onto the bed. "It was all I could get."

They reached out for the weapons immediately. "This is great." Natasha said.

"We've worked on much less." Clint added.

"Anyway we need to go." Darcy said.

Before she could even register what was happening, Romanoff and Barton were out the door and it was all Darcy could do to keep up.

They sprinted back down the hall, past the bodies of the guards.

They had guns in their hands so Darcy pulled her stun gun out, just because it made her feel a bit safer.

"I need a card." Romanoff said, stopping at a door.

"Here." Darcy passed forward the guard's ID.

Natasha slipped it through the slot and the door opened onto a dimly lit stairway which Darcy soon found herself sprinting down. She was soon nursing a stitch in her side. Clint and Natasha were fast.

The stairs emptied into a hallway which soon joined another staircase, this time going up. By this point Darcy was clutching at a stitch in her side.

They went through another labyrinth of corridors. Every time a guard appeared, they fell with a bullet in them before Darcy had even registered that they were there. Clint and Natasha were a team, working with each other without even talking, never shooting at the same guard like they knew which one the other would go for.

Darcy also noticed that none of them shot fatally. They aimed for shoulders and legs. Enough to incapacitate but not kill. Presumably because they knew they were acting on Loki's orders.

At last they burst into a lit garage where Matt said the employees parked. Presumably he hadn't shown her because it was a way out.  
Clint nodded at a motorbike.

"No, we can only fit us on there. We need something bigger." Natasha said.

"Oh yeah," Clint flashed Darcy a smile. "Forgot you were here. Not used to more than just us."

"I'm not going." Darcy said.

"What?" Natasha demanded as Clint gave her a look of concern.

"I'm not going." Darcy repeated. "It's just you two. You have to get out and find the others. I have to stay."

"Look, if Loki's threatened you we can-" Natasha started.

"It's not that!" Darcy protested. There was no way they wouldn't have noticed by now. Not with all the shot guards. They needed to go. "Look, I don't have time to explain just trust me on this."

Natasha stared at her. Darcy could practically see the gears of her mind turning. "Fine." She relented. "But I have contacts here. If he hurts you, we're coming to get you whether you like it or not."

"Okay." Darcy agreed. "But you need to go."

"Well I'll see you soon. Hopefully." Natasha said.

"Thanks for getting us out." Clint added.

They ran to the motorbike. Clint first and Natasha facing backwards, guns in both hands.

They started to pull away. "And good luck with Loki. After he finds out about this, I think you'll need it." Natasha called.

Darcy sighed. If only she could convince herself Natasha's words weren't true.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Breaking And Entering by Tonight Alive. If this makes no sense you may blame it on the ridiculously early flight I was on this morning. Anyway I am back now so hopefully will have lots of time for writing. Thanks for reading and commenting.


	53. The Maddest Storm

Darcy took a deep breath as Clint and Natasha rounded the corner. Her heart was racing. Whatever happened next was down to them. She'd done her part.

But she couldn't stay here and wait for the guards to show up.

If they hadn't been notified yet then her lack of presence might make them realise sooner. She wanted to give her friends as much chance to get away as possible.

Darcy felt a grin spread across her face as the adrenaline faded from her system. They'd made it. It had actually worked.

And then her gut twisted. Oh God she was going to be in so much trouble.

 _Okay,_  she thought,  _think of that later._ Firstly she had to act normal. So if she hadn't just helped two of her friends escape being imprisoned by her more than complicated sort-of-boyfriend then what would she be doing?

Her question was answered by a growling of her stomach. She hadn't had breakfast and it had to be around midday so she would be getting lunch.

She started walking to the cafeteria. They would have definitely noticed by now which meant it was only a matter of time until they checked security footage and realised she'd been responsible. After that...she'd have to deal with Loki's anger.

Her immediate response was that she would just shout back. Arguing with Loki seemed to come pretty naturally to her.

But for once a more rational part of her brain stepped in. Shouting back would only anger him more and that might end up with her chained to a wall again. She'd have to be...not apologetic per se, but maybe just accepting of whatever he did? That, she figured, was probably the way to minimise the amount of punishment as much as possible. Technically she'd committed treason so her hopes weren't very high for being let off but maybe he'd stick to his current Darcy's-not-allowed-to-leave-the-building plan.

She sighed. That was going to take some serious pride swallowing. It was worth it, though, if she avoided those chains. That was just humiliating.

No one was in the halls, not even guards which set Darcy's teeth on edge. She noticed her heart was beginning to beat faster again and willed herself to keep calm.

It took her about ten minutes to find her way back to the cafeteria. Though the place wasn't unreasonably large, she was certain she'd taken a few wrong turnings.

The place was packed, far busier than the one in New Mexico had been and it was slightly worrying being around so many people. Especially since so many were giving her filthy glares.

 _They think you're dating Loki_ , she reasoned,  _that probably makes you a traitor to your own species in their eyes._

She joined the queue, trying not to look guilty.

"What can I get for you?" The man behind the counter grinned. Darcy's stomach clenched with anxiety. She felt like she was going to be sick. The idea of eating was repulsive.

But she had to keep up appearances, she supposed.

"Just a salad, please." Darcy replied, even managing to force a smile in return.

"Sure thing." He said and began pulling lettuce into a container.

The sight of it made her hungry again. She'd never really been a salad person but she'd missed fresh fruit and vegetables the most down in Stark's bunker and the sight of so much green was practically ecstasy.

Until she remembered why she was there in the first place and the queasiness returned.

She found a seat at an empty table, her back to the door.

She picked at the food but her stomach was doing somersaults.

_He's going to find out. He's going to find out. He's going to find out._

Her mind chanted.

 _Of course he's going to find out,_  she thought in frustration at her own thoughts but the panicked chanting continued.

After five minutes the noise in the room cut off abruptly and Darcy's stomach clenched painfully. There was only one person who could have silenced them like that.

Sure enough she heard the soft footfalls of his leather boots on the linoleum floor as he walked towards her.

She didn't look round. Maybe if she didn't then he wouldn't notice her.

She had no such luck. He stopped behind her and her heart hammered in her chest, her throat dry. She was close to hyperventilating. Only the thought that at least she'd got her friends out kept her from having a full on anxiety attack.

"Come with me." He said, his voice so low she could feel it vibrate in the air. "Now." He added in a growl.

Darcy stood up, leaving her mostly uneaten lunch where it was. Better to walk out than have him make the guards drag her.

Her blood was roaring in her ears. She'd been prepared for him to shout and scream and maybe even scare her with magic spiders. His low, collected voice brimming with anger was infinitely scarier. It was the closest thing Darcy had come to finding him terrifying since they'd started getting along. This was the man who crushed nations. The man who destroyed races. And she'd managed to piss him off.

He turned and walked back to the door and she followed hurriedly, keeping her head low and eyes on the floor. She didn't want to see the people staring at her and she didn't want to look at Loki to see if he looked as furious as he sounded.

He led her down the hall towards her room.

"In." He said, opening the door. She obliged, not wanting to anger him anymore, desperate to avoid chains. As much as he may have cared about her, she knew he'd sacrifice whatever they had together to stop her from doing anything dangerous. The easiest way to do that would definitely be attaching her to the wall.

She walked in the room and heard the door slam behind her. She turned in shock to stare at it. He wasn't even going to follow?

"Sit." He commanded from behind her and she jumped. He must have apparated in or whatever.

She scuttled over to the bed, fighting the urge to snap that she wasn't a dog. Being submissive really wasn't in her nature. Loki must have been loving this. She kept her eyes averted.

"Well?" He asked, voice taut.

Darcy swallowed but kept quiet. She wasn't going to apologise and anything other than that was sure to only make him angrier.

"Something rather odd happened earlier." He hissed. "Both Romanoff and Barton escaped their cells. Strange given that they were sedated. Nine agents were shot. Another and a doctor were hit with a stun gun, a weapon I certainly would not believe either prisoner would have chosen. Oh and you were seen on camera helping them to escape."

Darcy nodded. There was no point denying it.

Meanwhile another part of her brain, the part that wasn't slightly scared right now, was thinking of the cameras. She'd forgotten about them. There was no way whoever was monitoring them hadn't seen them. Which means they just didn't raise the alarm. That was nice of them. Loki would kill them.

"Why?" He demanded. "If you're so angry with me for keeping you here then why pretend? Did you plan this all along? Encouraging me to let you out of here just so you could release them? Was it all a ruse?"

"No." Darcy said meekly, fighting every urge to shout at him.

"Then why? You detest me so much? Your hatred I understand though why that required you to-"

She rolled her eyes. "Oh Loki you ignorant slut." She said without thinking before pausing, every muscle tightening. Shit. So much for the civilised approach.

_One day I will get a filter between my mind and my mouth and it will be fabulous. I will think before I speak and everything._

_That is if I live that long..._

Oh well she'd already blown the 'go along with whatever he said' approach. She may as well take it the whole way.

"I'm here! If this was about me getting angry at you locking me up here then I would have left with them. Believe it or not, this isn't about you." She said, lifting her eyes to meet his. That was a mistake. The fury burning in the blacks of his eyes could have levelled a small town. He seemed paler than usual and his everything about him, from his posture to his expressions, was contorted in rage. "This is about the fact that my friends were being drugged and held captive."

"Friends?" He repeated scornfully.

"Yes." She said, not wanting to elaborate too much.

"They sent me off to the torture of the Allfather!"

"That's Odin's fault not theirs!" Darcy snapped back. "It was my world you tried to enslave! You want me to hate them? I may...have some undetermined feelings for you," Not quite sure what those were. "But I'm not going to support what you did! Jesus, Loki. Team Avengers. Every time."

He looked like she'd slapped him.

"I don't hate you." She continued. "And I understand your reasoning for taking over the world even if I don't agree with it. But I will never  _ever_  support your decision to drug and imprison innocent- no wait not even innocent-  _good_  people because of your own personal grudges. Get over yourself. My God, you put the dick in dictator."

"So you send them back to the others so that they may resume their development of a weapon to kill me. Which I need not remind you would prevent me finding Thanos. You believe my death would stop him? He would take you anyway as the next best being on which to get his revenge." Loki snarled, his hands curled into fists at his sides.

"What? You think Stark and the others stopped doing that when you took Clint and Natasha?" Darcy threw back.

"Either way you have given them two more allies!"

"All I did was release my friends from the torture you were putting them through." Darcy retorted.

Loki made a derisive noise. "You call  _that_  torture? That was a mercy."

"That was you drugging two of my friends. And keeping them strapped to beds." Darcy replied.

"Did it never occur to you that I may have had more reasoning for keeping them imprisoned than a personal grudge? You do realise the extent of Thanos's powers, correct? The avengers could have aided that."

"Gee Loki, imprison and drug them, that'll encourage them to help you." Darcy rolled her eyes. "You were a douche. You actually want me to apologise for this?"

"For releasing two of my prisoners? Yes!" Loki was pacing across her room in his annoyance.

"Well I'm not." Darcy replied calmly, knowing full well it may result in her being back in the handcuffs.

Loki glared at her. "You may not be now but-"

"Oh shut up." Darcy knew where he was going with that.

"Excuse me?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

Darcy almost laughed as she remembered her plan to just roll with it. She was well and truly screwed. May as well go down swinging.

"I said shut up." She told him, crossing her arms. "I know what you're going to say. Some punishment or other to make me feel sorry but you don't get it, do you?"

"Well perhaps you ought to enlighten me." He said, sounding like nothing she said would matter.

"You think I didn't see this coming?" She asked and she had to admit, her fear was melting away, replaced with triumph. Whatever he did it wouldn't change the fact that Barton and Romanoff were free and that he didn't even understand why. Her only regret was that she couldn't find Banner. "You think maybe I was hoping I wouldn't get caught? I'm a lot of things Loki but stupid isn't one of them."

He sent her a disbelieving look. "And yet you helped them escape."

"Ouch kitty cat has claws." She mocked. He didn't look impressed. "Loki," She said more seriously. "I knew you'd find out. And I didn't do it to spite you. They're my friends, that's all there was to it. And they don't deserve what you were doing to them. I didn't do it hoping to avoid punishment, I just knew that whatever punishment you gave me it'd be worth it."

Loki shook his head slightly, one hand reaching for the back of his neck. "I don't want to punish you." He said in irritation.

Well that Darcy wasn't expecting though she didn't get her hopes up too much. She sensed a hidden 'but' there. "Umm so don't?" She tried.

He narrowed his eyes at her. "As the man who lo-" He hesitated. "Cares about you I do not want to punish you. It is not my place to punish you like a child."

Ahh. Now she got what he meant. "But as the current ruler of Earth..." She said quietly.

"Therein lays the problem." He said.

"You could give me a warning?" Darcy suggested, half smiling.

Loki exhaled softly. "You had to let them out didn't you?"

Darcy's smile fell. "I had to, Loki." She said earnestly.

"You stole a card without the agent noticing, stole weapons and knocked out two grown men." He smirked slightly. "Irritated though I am, I have to say that I am slightly impressed."

Darcy grinned. "So how many times have you watched the footage?"

"Enough. I don't know how you managed it."

"I'm sorry?" Darcy asked.

"You aren't exactly intimidating." He answered pointedly.

"Well it'll serve you right not to underestimate me." She replied. Had she really been scared of him only a few minutes ago? It was only Loki.

"A mistake I intend to never make again. Though I suppose I ought to have realised when you shot me." He replied.

"Oh my God Loki that was one time! Let it go." She joked. "And besides, I only hit your shoulder so stop whining."

"Well for you it was a surprisingly good shot." He started to smile but then he stopped. He closed his eyes and tilted his head up. "What am I going to, Darcy? I trusted you to leave the room and you repaid that by setting prisoners free?"

He opened his eyes and met hers. "In my defence, you never explicitly said 'don't let my prisoners out.'"

"It was implied." He replied. He shook his head and turned away from her.

And for some stupid reason she felt bad for him because he clearly didn't want to punish her. Like he said, as her boyfriend it was hardly his place. But equally she'd committed treason and even if it was for her friends, how did he know she wouldn't do something else like send information to the avengers?

But then, she reminded herself, he shouldn't have imprisoned them in the first place.

_Well Darcy if you're making a list of things Loki shouldn't have done...  
_

"Just not the chains." She said to him, throwing the metal a filthy look.

He turned back to her. "You are not to leave the room." He said at last.

Darcy swallowed and looked away. It wasn't the worst punishment but the thought of being stuck in the room was horrible. "Am I allowed visitors?" She asked, thinking of Matt and Priya.

"By the nine realms..." He muttered.

"What?" She asked. "For God's sake, you're the one imprisoning me here."

"You think I want to?" He asked, suddenly angry. "You don't understand, do you? I don't want to lock you in some room for your own safety. I want to give you everything, Darcy." He laughed bitterly. "But of course I can't. Because the only thing I can give is danger and pain."

"Loki that's not-"

"True?" He spat. "It is quite possibly the most truthful thing I have ever said to you. Yes you may have visitors."

She wanted to hug him. To tell him that he didn't only bring bad things. To tell him that even if he did it was worth it to be with him.  
But Darcy dealt in snide comments and innuendos. A sudden poetic candor was not quite her area of expertise.

Not to mention that she wasn't the most articulate. Things rarely sounded as good out loud as they did in her head.

And the fact that she was pissed off that he was punishing her. She didn't think she'd ever felt such a complicated mix of emotions.

Loki was locking her in a room. By all rights she should only be angry. But if Loki was to find Thanos he needed to be seen as powerful. He couldn't just excuse it. Just as she'd sacrificed her freedom for Clint and Natasha's, maybe she also had to for Thanos to be found.

She hoped he was because at this point she was ready to kill Thanos herself. He was responsible for all this. All of it.

"If you attempt to escape," Loki said, his voice calm again. "If you try to contact the avengers or try to do anything that does not involve staying in here, I will have you back in the handcuffs."

She understood what he was saying but she didn't like his tone. "You do realise that will firmly make up my mind that we are never going to get back together, right?" She said.

"Understandable." He said, nonplussed. "But you will be safe."

He didn't even say goodbye. He was just gone.

Darcy sighed and fell backwards onto the bed, longing for a time when her life made sense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Replace You by Silverstein. Oh Darcy...you tried. Thanks for reading and commenting, hope to update soon.


	54. This Awkward Silence

It's an amazing thing, really. The whole morning had flown by like the clocks had been put on fast forward. Now, alone in her room, time was dragging like it had never dragged before.

Darcy groaned into her pillow. She was so bored. Which was ridiculous.

It was hardly her first time being held prisoner.

And true she'd had Loki last time but it wasn't like they'd spent every single second talking or...otherwise occupying themselves with each other.

And she didn't even have a clock or a watch or a phone to know what the time was. She didn't suppose it would make much difference. It wasn't like Loki had given her a timed sentence to be spent in there. What was the point in knowing which number humans had assigned to the current hour when she was being held indefinitely? Time didn't exist for her.

 _Oh God_ , she thought,  _this is true insanity. Philosophical, metaphorical, over dramatic pretentious contemplation._

She rolled over on the bed. It seemed impossible to think that just yesterday- or maybe the day before given that she didn't know how long she'd been drugged for- she was back in the New York base.

If she was there she'd be searching for public activity on the internet. Going through the usual chat rooms.

They'd have the news on permanently, someone constantly watching it in case there were any more updates.

It had been nice. Surreal and odd but nice. She even missed her training sessions.

They wouldn't be there anymore. They would have moved to some other base or hide out. She assumed Stark had a few and Natasha and Clint probably knew of even more. They could evade Loki for decades. She just hoped Natasha and Clint managed to get back to the others though they probably had some way to communicate with them.

She wondered what the others would say when they told them that she was staying here. They'd probably wonder why. Maybe assume she'd been fooled or threatened by Loki.

She didn't know how long she'd been lying there when she heard a noise like an elevator.

She turned in the direction of the noise to see a hatch that she hadn't noticed before opening in the wall. Inside was a tray of food.

She wondered for a moment if Loki had had it installed just so it really could serve as a cell but then she remembered what Matt had said about how this place had been especially built to work as a holding room.

She walked over to it, only realising as the smell of steak reached her nose just how hungry she was. She'd had a few bites of lettuce all day and her stomach had surpassed hunger into a dull ache.

Steak, chips, peas and mushrooms. If being a prisoner meant being fed like this, maybe she'd break agents out of their cells more often.

Then she remembered the chains that were still attached to her bedroom wall and figured maybe that wasn't the best idea.

She walked over to the table and chairs shoved into the corner and threw herself into the closest chair. Was this seriously her life now? Being sent meals through a hatch in the wall?

She sighed, annoying herself with her whiny self-pitying. She really didn't know how she was capable of both entertaining herself and irritating herself. How anyone else put up with her, she didn't know.

She grabbed the plate, the edges of it warm in her hands. Steam was unfurling in hypnotic spirals from the meal. Yes they had hot food in Stark's bunker but there was something about the non-perishable food he kept there that kept it from getting too warm.

As she lifted the plate, her fingers brushed against something softer beneath it.

Darcy looked warily around the room and swallowed. There was no doubt in her mind that the room was bugged. Of course it could be nothing but after the year she'd had she felt that was a rather naive hope.

She tugged at it, feeling the papery material and lay it flat against the tray, hoping the cameras would ignore the movement.

She saw that it was a napkin and let out the breath she'd been holding before a shaky breath escaped her lips. She was getting paranoid. This was ridiculous.

But then she caught the ink stain in the corner and nervously turned it over.

Messy words had been scribbled across it in an unfamiliar hand.

 

_Nice work getting Romanoff and Barton out. It's about time someone did. We're all sorry we ever thought you were on his side._

 

She flipped it back over hurriedly, her hand trembling.

Oh God. Oh god oh god oh god oh god.

Of course she knew that none of the agents, well with the possible exception of Priya and Matt, actually supported Loki. That was obvious.  
But this?

This was something else. It didn't even matter that the words were supportive of her. This was openly going against him. And worse, this was taking a risk. Taking a risk for something like a note which didn't even matter.

And just a few days ago that would have made her pleased. More than that, really. It would have made her ecstatically happy to know that they weren't the only ones defying the world's new dictator.

But with Loki searching for Thanos, the thought of the people turning against him was worrying. Really worrying.

And what was she supposed to do about it? She couldn't tell Loki or he'd try – and probably succeed in- killing the person who wrote it.

She'd just have to ignore it. Which meant acting normal. Which hadn't really worked out that well at lunch but she figured she had to try.

So despite the fact she felt like she'd throw up at any moment, she ate. She had to chew twice as much as normal and every swallow down her dry throat hurt.

When she was done she put the tray back in the slot in the wall, the napkin slipped in her pocket. Then she flushed it down the toilet.

She felt like a heavy burden had been lifted as she discarded of it and hadn't quite realised just how stressed she'd become over it. This was getting ridiculous. 

She couldn't keep living like this or she'd develop heart problems or something.

She was lying on the bed when the door swung open, startling her. It was abrupt, like it had been thrown angrily open.

She scrambled up, going automatically into defence mood as she subconsciously thought of every move Matt and Steve had taught her.

Not that it would have mattered because the person who stormed through her door was one of her teachers himself.

"What," Matt spat furiously as he kicked the door shut. "Were you thinking?"

"Excuse me?" Darcy asked, slightly irritated at her on-edge reaction being for nothing.

"I take you on a tour of the building and you use that to break people out?" He demanded.

"Uh, yeah." Darcy replied. She'd never seen him so angry. It really wasn't like him.

"Why?" He asked.

"Why do you care?" She retorted.

"I care because everyone here has been working the asses off for the last month to get you here to keep you safe and the moment you get here you flaunt that! For God's sake Darcy say one of the guards had shot you? And you are so lucky Loki is only keeping you in here because if it were me you'd be sedated in one of the cells for you own good." Matt replied.

"God, Matt!" Darcy said, flopping down on the bed. "I didn't know you cared. Wait why do you care? I got the impression you were more of a 'hey take all the risks you can it's only bad when it fails' kind of guy and clearly it didn't fail."

"That was until you risked your goddamn life." He replied. His chest was heaving, straining against the navy material of his SHIELD suit.

"Okay chill, you're being more dramatic than Loki and he is quite literally the queen of drama queens. You've never cared when I've risked my life before and in case you haven't noticed I've done that quite a lot." Darcy replied, agitated. When she'd said to Loki she wanted visitors this wasn't quite what she'd imagined.

"I took you on that tour, Darcy." He said. "I just had to go through three hours of interrogation as to what I showed you, what I told you, whether I had any part in it and a load of other crap I didn't sign up for."

Ouch. That stung a bit. She knew he didn't intend it that way but it kind of felt like he was saying she wasn't worth all that. Which of course wasn't what he was saying at all but the words rang in her head nonetheless.

"Look I'm sorry about that but-" She started but cut off as the door opened again, more softly this time.

"You're shouting at her, aren't you?" Priya asked as she ran in. Her hair was tied into a plait down one side which made her look more fairylike than ever.

"I-" Matt started. He still looked angry but it was with the kind of bashful look in his eye that people only got when either their mother or their spouse was telling them off.

"No stop it." She cut him off. "This is not Darcy's fault. She let her friends out, that's all. Whatever else happened it was SHIELD'S fault, not Darcy's." Darcy noted she carefully avoided blaming Loki. Hmm, Priya was smarter than she'd given her credit for. "What are you doing?" Priya looked appalled at him. "She's your best friend! What are you shouting at her for?"

Matt shook his head and Darcy could almost feel the anger drain out of him.

"And I know you aren't the brightest crayola in the pack," Priya added. "But what do you think Loki will do when he finds out you've been screaming at his..." Priya turned to her. "I'm sorry but what are you two now? You guys are so complicated you could be a crappy cable show."

Darcy contemplated this, head tilted to one side. "Yep that about sums us up."

She couldn't believe Priya was sticking up for her. Yeah Darcy liked her, a lot actually- she was a lot closer to her than she would be to most people that she'd known for as – but to stand up against Matt? Not that Darcy ever imagined she'd need someone to stand up against Matt on her behalf given that it was normally Matt sticking up for her against everyone else.

Priya and Matt might just be her favourite couple ever.

Well, you know, if Matt calmed down a bit.

Darcy had been distracted by her mental love of Priya and suddenly realised she was still ranting at Matt about how he had no right to scream at Darcy and how she had free choices to make and all she'd done was be brave and selfless and...God, Darcy really loved Priya right now.

If the topic of conversation hadn't been her then it would have been amusing to watch tiny Priya who must have been around five foot shouting up at six foot Matt.

"You don't understand." Matt said, his voice softer than Darcy had ever heard it.

She sat up straighter on the bed. This was not Matt. Matt who smiled even when bad things happened, who used humour in inappropriate situations and who rarely got serious let alone upset serious could not sound like he was about to break down. Not like he did now.

Priya's hand, whether consciously or not, had moved so that it brushed the skin of his. "What is it?" She asked gently.

"They threatened my family." He said, voice on edge.

"But-" Priya started but Matt stormed off, feet slapping against the floor like claps of thunder.

Darcy was gobsmacked. She'd always been amused by that word but really she felt it was the only one to describe how she felt at that moment. Completely and utterly gobsmacked.

Priya looked helplessly at Darcy. "I'm sorry, I have to go after him." She said, sprinting out the door.

It closed behind her and Darcy caught a glimpse of a guard outside of it. Apparently Loki was taking no chances.

She sighed and lay down on the bed. They'd threatened Matt's family? Because of her?

Was there anything in this world that wasn't her fault? Could she actually do anything without hurting someone she cared about?

She didn't even know Matt's family. Or anything about them, she realised with a shock. He just never really spoke about himself.

She felt suddenly incredibly guilty that she'd never asked.

Some friend she was.

"Darcy," Loki greeted.

For once her heart didn't beat faster at the sound of his voice. "Hi." She replied monotonously without sitting or looking up.

"Is something wrong?" He asked. She could imagine his expression; eyebrows screwed up in concern, lips pressed together like he was on the verge of biting one of them. Even though it wasn't his most adorable expression there was a certain warmness she felt from seeing it as she knew she was one of the few people in the universe he'd ever show such emotion towards.

Or any emotion. Any expression other than disdain made her feel rather honoured.

Not today however.

"They threatened Matt's family." She replied tersely, unable to summon the energy needed to get angry at him for it and not willing to let it go unmentioned either.

"Who-"

"Shut up." She snapped before he could finish. "Don't you even start on your 'who is that?' crap because you know damn well. He took me on the tour and was interrogated for me breaking Natasha and Clint out. Answer me honestly," She said, sitting up to face him. "Did they do it on your orders?"

"No." He answered quickly.

She narrowed her eyes at him and opened her mouth to say she didn't believe him.

"As much as I am reluctant to remind you of this, you are currently locked in here on my orders. I believe I am past the point of trying to appease you." He said, half a smile playing on his lips.

She forced herself to look away from his lips because she didn't imagine that would end up well.

"I ordered interrogations to be had of all who may have had some part in the escape. Threats were never a part of my instructions." He added.

"Not that you are against them, though." She pointed out.

"Well that is not what you asked." He smirked. She pushed herself further up the bed so that she was fully sat, leaning against the headboard and resigned herself to a conversation. "Are you enjoying your imprisonment?"

Darcy rolled her eyes. "Oh yeah, it's great. So far I've counted the bathroom tiles fifty times and have discovered that despite my best efforts, I cannot roll my tongue."

"Perhaps next time you shall think again before you release my prisoners." He said, still smirking.

"I thought this wasn't a punishment?" Darcy pointed out.

"That is not my intention but should it be a side effect then I would not complain." He grinned.

Darcy threw a pillow at him. "Jerk." She said.

He sighed mockingly. "You have so far thrown pillows and shoes at me. And the public think you're a threat..."

"That's your fault." Darcy said. "And if you've got anything else, I'll happily throw that at you too. Rotten vegetables perhaps?"

He winced. "Don't give the Allfather ideas."

She bit back a smile and felt a sudden pang in her chest. They'd been joking and talking like they used to. It was startling how easy it was to slip back into that.

Her sudden silence must have been apparent because even Loki fidgeted like he'd suddenly become aware of the uncomfortable atmosphere.

Darcy swallowed and when she spoke her voice was a little more formal than it had ever been around Loki. "I want books." She said.

"Pardon?" Loki asked, not like he was questioning her request but rather like he honestly hadn't heard. His head snapped up and Darcy wondered what thoughts he'd been getting lost in.

His hair fell across his shoulders as he moved and Darcy found herself wanting to run her fingers through it, to see if it was as soft as it used to be...

Stop, she told herself. Stop stop stop stop. A further thing being confined there had done, was to afford her time to think about Loki. She was still no further in knowing what she wanted.

Well no, that wasn't true. She wanted Loki. But she also wanted all the things that had happened to stop being such an issue. They were like a physical barrier stopping her from being with him.

She wanted him. But she didn't want to want him.

She snapped herself back to her original demand, heaven knew she needed something else to think about and fiction would be great. She wanted to escape into someone else's issues for a while.

"I want books." She repeated. "Even Frigga sent you books."

He went still at his mother's name and Darcy saw a flash of pain in his eyes. She loved his eyes. No matter how well he could mask his expressions his eyes always remained honest and right now they were making her feel guilty for so casually mentioning the his mother's name.

It took him a moment to respond. "Books...yes of course. I will send someone. I ought to have thought sooner."

Darcy narrowed her eyes at him in surprise. She hadn't expected it to be so easy. "Really?" She asked before she could stop herself.

He shook his head slightly in exasperation. "How many times must I tell you that you are not in here as a punishment but rather to prevent you doing it again?You ought not be deprived of books and visitors. You are not my prisoner, Darcy."

Darcy bit her lip. It was true she wasn't his prisoner in all the things that word implied. Yet the fact remained that in its very essence it was true.

"Do you wish for anything else?" He asked.

 _Everything to be the way it was,_ she thought sadly.

She shook her head.

The silence that followed felt awkward and she found herself looking at the embroidery on the bed like she hadn't been looking at it all day.

"I will send someone with your books." Loki said and was gone.

Darcy collapsed back onto the bed and pulled her knees up to her chest. Sadness was pressing on her chest and making her come the closest to tears that she had in recent months. It was a nostalgia so intense she found herself awash in memories like flashbacks in films.

She fell asleep like that, cheeks damp, with words of longing for another time on her lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Down by Blink 182. Woo two updates in a week, I love summer. Thanks for reading and commenting.


	55. Let The Light In

Darcy didn't really have much to do other than read over the next few days. Matt and Priya visited, Matt thankfully back to his old self without mentioning their dispute again. Darcy carefully avoided the subject too.

And Loki visited too, of course.

"Darcy," He greeted one afternoon as he appeared in her room.

Darcy jumped. Without clocks it was easy to get lost in regards to time but given that she'd read a hundred pages since lunch she figured it was closer to dinner than to a visit from him.

"Loki!" She said, startled. She folded the corner of the page down and placed the book carefully on the side. "You're early."

"I thought I would join you for dinner." He answered before looking away. "If you do not mind." He added.

"Uh yeah." She said, her stomach twisting. Every interaction was awkward between them and she still hadn't become accustomed to it.

"You are enjoying the books?" He asked.

"Yeah they're good. If this whole leader of the world thing doesn't work out you could run a bookstore."

He smiled dryly. "I shall consider it."

"So how was today?" She asked.

He sighed. "We are still no closer to finding Thanos and the mortals grow increasingly rebellious."

"Yeah well it's almost like they don't like a pointless regime that does nothing for their society and is simply to help find a criminal." Darcy replied.

Loki raised a sleek eyebrow at her. She raised her hands in surrender. "I know I know, it's to find the guy who is threatening me. I'm just saying you can't expect the other occupants of Earth to think that. Heck, I don't even think I'm worth it."

"Well you are." He retorted fiercely.

Darcy rolled her eyes. "Come on Loki, even you can't believe I'm worth-"

"That and anything more." He interrupted. "You are worth whatever is necessary."

She was acutely aware of how fast her heart is beating. "Well..." She said, unsure how to respond. Especially because his actions of taking over the world, whether or not he needed SHIELD's resources to find Thanos, were so extreme they were tantamount to ridiculous. Like, couldn't he have just explained the situation to SHIELD? "That's very sweet."

She was careful not to say anything else because she really didn't want to hear something like "I would destroy anyone who threatens your safety" because while she knew he would, hearing him say it would be very different. She was trying to ignore the fact that he was practically a super villain.

He scowled at her.

"What?" She asked defensively.

"Not once since I have known you would you have responded with that sentence." He told her.

She bit her lip, realising he was right. "What sentence?" She asked, feigning ignorance.

"'That's very sweet' is not a phrase I was aware was in your vernacular." He told her, a slight smirk on his face. It had been weeks and that smile still made her insides liquidise.  _Oh God Loki why do you have to be such a dick?_  She was supposed to feel this way about someone she actually wanted to be with.

"And what is my vernacular exactly?" She grinned.

He met her eyes. "Sarcasm, insults and crude innuendos."

"You know me so well." She laughed. His green eyes were almost sparkling as he heard it.

Her eyes fell to the floor, her arms wrapping round her waist.

"What is it?" He asked quickly, worry in his voice. He took the few strides needed to stand next to her, reaching his arm out as if automatically. "Are you ill?"

She flinched away from his touch and saw the hurt in his face before he was able to hide it. "No." She said. He was close enough that his scent reached her and she wanted to smother herself in the intoxicating mix of leather and what smelled like heavenly cologne but was actually natural that combined was so uniquely him. To lose herself in the feel of his lips on her skin, to skim her hands teasingly down his waist and kiss him on that one spot in the crease by his collar bone that made his back arch maddeningly beneath her...

She tried not to blush as she realised what she'd just been thinking.

"What is it then?"

She shook her head. What could she say? That she'd tried to hate him and every time she saw him it was a reminder of how much she'd failed? That she couldn't even joke with him without wanting to swim in his eyes? That the sound of his laughter even after everything he'd done made her feel happy like nothing else?

But no. She couldn't.

"Loki...I..." She started.

God she wanted to be with him. So much. Her time spent locked here had done nothing but strengthen that resolution. But he'd done all that stuff and it was still there, an impenetrable mountain that she couldn't overcome.

 _Darcy the only thing stopping you is yourself_ , that rational part of her brain whispered.

But that wasn't true. It was his actions and his words.

But then...he'd apologised. There wasn't much more he could do...

She swallowed. She could go on about his keeping her here but she knew it was an excuse not to think about the real reason she was trying to stay away.

He'd faked his death and the pain of it was still fresh in her mind. She really didn't want to be hurt again but she was hurting herself by trying to distance herself from him.

"I miss you." She blurted before she could stop herself. Before she could think about whether saying that was really a good idea. She was guessing it wasn't.

He frowned, still looking at her with concern. "I am right here." He said.

"That's not it." She said in frustration, she really didn't want to have to spell everything out for him.

"Then what?" He questioned.

"I miss  _you._ " She struggled to explain. "Not just you being here but I miss being with you like we used to. Without all this awkwardness. I miss our silences being comfortable and not always worrying that one of us will say something wrong."

He said nothing so she continued.

"I miss you, Loki. I want it back. I want  _you_  back. And your faked death is standing in the way of that." She said, her words rushing hurriedly out of her mouth.

Loki's expression was guarded but his body was tensed. "I have apologised," He started, none of the aggravation that she would have expected in his tone. "I ought not to-"

"No Loki that's not it." She interrupted, shaking her head.

"Then what?" He asked in confusion.

"I don't want you to apologise again." A glimmer of his confusion showed in his eyes so she reached out and grabbed his hand. It was the first time she'd touched him since her first night of living here and she'd forgotten just how much she'd loved holding his hands in hers. "That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying...that I forgive you."

His eyebrows pulled together in the centre. "I do not understand."

Darcy suppressed a smile. "I forgive you, Loki. For all of it." And she realised that just saying the words made them true, a weight lifted and she felt light as air. 

He still looked confused though, forgiveness was probably a foreign concept for him, both in giving and receiving it.  _Oh what the hell,_  Darcy thought,  _why not?_

She always had been one for hedonism. "I forgive you and I miss you."

She pulled on his arm. Unprepared, he fell onto the bed beside her. It would have been amusing if her heart hadn't been beating so rapidly or if she didn't feel so dizzy. She'd let go of his hand as he fell and instead now reached out for him, curling her fingers into the leather coating his chest.

"I forgive you," She repeated. "And I want to be with you."

She didn't even have time to register the shocked elation on his face before she'd pulled him closer, pressing her lips against his so forcefully it was hard to tell where hers ended and his began. She expected him to kiss her back but instead he pulled back, gasping. She could only assume she'd taken him by surprise because she did not normally elicit such a response from him so quickly.

He turned her so that she was on her back, looking up into his eyes, his pupils large and deep and so very black.

"You are serious?" He asked, she detected a note of hopefulness to his voice, his eyes wide beneath the strands of inky hair that were falling towards her.

She beamed, unable to control the unexpected happiness that had suddenly surged through her.

Right now she could damn whatever consequences there may be. Only two things were clear in her mind. 1) She wanted Loki very badly and 2) She could not wait much longer.

"Very." She answered, arching her back so that she could press her lips back to his and this time his moved with hers. She felt weightless, overwhelmed by the emotion and feelings that were surging over her.

Loki had a way of kissing her that made her feel like she was all he had ever wanted in the universe. His lips were all she cared about and they were so extraordinarily skilled.

God she'd forgotten just how much she'd missed this. She thought she remembered it all but she supposed she hadn't been able to retain just how great it felt because his touch was ineffable.

His hands were either side of her, pressing her against him. Every time she'd done anything with Loki it had always been filled with lust. Even when she'd loved him, their actions had been frantic somehow, even when they were kissing slowly.

Now it felt different. It was more intense, more passionate. Filled with affection and longing in perfect balance. All of it so perfect.

He bit her lip and she moved hers, allowing them to travel across his skin. She'd missed him so much, finally allowing herself to admit that which she had long tried to suppress. Now she wanted to know, with every part of her, that he was here. She wanted to kiss every inch of him and verify his presence with her lips.

She kissed the cheekbones she loved and every part of his jaw. She trailed her lips across his neck and explored the valleys of his collarbones. Loki had never been so beautiful as when she discovered him with her lips rather than her eyes.

She wrapped her legs around his waist.

"Loki," She gasped, unable to contain his name to her thoughts. It was such a nice name. She loved the way it sounded on her lips. Like she owned the letters that made it. Like she was the only one with permission to use them.

He cupped her face in his hand. It was almost as large as her head, making her feel small and delicate in a way she so rarely did. She moved to kiss him again but he pulled his lips just out of reach, a teasing smile on his face.

"I missed you too, Darcy." He said, in a rare moment of sensitivity.

She frowned. "Then shut up and kiss me, you fool."

He obliged.

 

 

"It's only like six o'clock." Darcy said. She was nestled with her head against Loki's chest, his arm round her. Despite everything that was happening, she couldn't remember ever feeling this content.

"Are you suggesting we ought to get dressed?" He asked.

Her finger trailed absent-mindedly across the hard muscles of his chest. "Oh that is so not what I'm suggesting." Darcy replied.

He laughed, his chest vibrating beneath her. She couldn't remember him genuinely laughing when she first met him. Maybe that was why it made her head spin now.

Her finger ran across a small circular mark on his otherwise flawless skin. It was lighter than the pale skin around it, an obvious scar.

"Is that where..." She trailed off, unable to finish.

"You shot me?" He supplied. He smiled at her in an odd mixture of amusement and endearment. "Yes. May I request that you don't do it again?"

"Yeah well don't take over anymore worlds." She said quietly, not really focusing on their conversation, too entranced by the scar. It was so odd that the mark was still there. Loki scarred like everyone else but normally his disappeared over time, the one on his eye was completely gone. She would have thought it would have healed by now. "I don't regret it." She said.

He frowned at her. "You might have told me that before we-"

She laughed and put her finger over his lips. "Not that way," She said. "I mean I'm glad I didn't kill you-"

"Well that is always nice to hear." Loki interjected.

"Excuse you, finger over lips means no talking." Darcy told him sternly. "I just meant that given everything you'd done and everything I thought you were doing it for, I stand by my actions. It was justified." She move her finger from his lips. "You may now speak."

"I would expect nothing less." Loki said.

"Huh?" Darcy asked, bewildered.

"I never expected you to wish that it had not happened. If nothing else, your anger afterwards made it clear that you believed it was justified."

"Yeah well I mean that and you betrayed Thor and everything. I  _did_  tell you I would kill you if you betrayed him." Darcy added.

"Technically I didn't betray him. I got him to Svartalfheim as I had promised." Loki replied.

"I think impersonating his dad and then locking them both in the prison counts as betrayal." Darcy argued.

"Well maybe if he'd been more explicit..." Loki joked. "And I believe you made certain promises if I did not betray him."

Darcy rolled her eyes. "Seriously? You are actually being serious? You could have reminded me when I first got here, I would have loved a whip then."

Loki's laughter filled the room. "For what it is worth," Loki said, suddenly serious. "I truly did miss you."

Darcy scowled. "Why are you being so sappy all of a sudden? It's really not like you." Though she would admit that it was quite nice.

She expected him to reply with a joke but he instead remained serious. "I do not wish to lose you again."

She looked up and saw that he looked serious too, looking at her intently.

"I'm not going anywhere." She mumbled, a blush creeping across her cheeks. "And not just because that door is locked. Anyway, I'm sure it couldn't have been that bad-"

"Don't." He interrupted her. "Do not suggest that. Whatever feeling it is that I am capable of-"

"Stop." She interrupted back. "Please, stop it."

"Stop what?" He asked, an adorable frown of confusion on his face.

"Thinking you're some monster." She answered.

His frown turned into an impassive mask. "Darcy, you know my true heritage-"

" You aren't a monster." She interrupted resolutely. "I know everyone on Asgard said that but you of all people know what liars and hypocrites the Asgardians are. Of all the things to believe why that?" She brushed a finger against his cheek in a gentle caress as she smiled at him. "You have emotions just like everyone else. You  _are_ capable of love. I know you are."

An expression she'd never seen before crossed his face. Like he had realised she truly meant what she said and he was finally, finally considering that they may hold some truth. It was a moment before his eyes met hers. "Then I believe that I love you, Darcy Lewis."

Her insides melted and it was all she could do to kiss him again.

 

 

"So," She asked a few days later. "How's the search for Thanos going?"

Loki's eyes darkened. "Still nothing. It is worrying, there ought to be some sign of him by now."

"Are you still getting threats?" Darcy asked, fearing the answer.

The look on Loki's face told her she'd been right to dread it. "Yes." He confirmed, looking somewhat pained. "And they are growing more...graphic."

Darcy bit her lip. Graphic didn't exactly sound fun given that the threats were about her. She was suddenly desperate to change the topic.

She walked over to him and leant up onto the tips of her toes to kiss his cheek. "Well I know something that would distract you." She said with a mischievous grin.

He looked at her suspiciously. "I do not recall you being quite so eager."

Well she had to admit that was true. She loved sex with Loki but even back then they'd never done it quite as much as now. "Three months, Loki." She answered. "That's like the longest I've gone celibate since high school."

He smirked. "Well I am certainly not complaining."

Darcy laughed. "Yeah but three months to you was probably barely anything."

"Three months without you lasted a life time." He teased with a mocking grin.

Darcy rolled her eyes and playfully pushed his chest. "That is  _so_  not the use of that silvertongue that I wanted."

"Perhaps you ought to be more specific next time?" He suggested.

This time she couldn't stop herself from laughing. "You are such a dork." She said.

"Tell me, at what stage in our relationship do you stop insulting me?" He asked, his eyes glittering.

"Never, Frost Brain." She grinned. "And besides, I've never done it like this before. It's nice"

"'Like this' meaning while locked in your room?" Loki smirked.

"No." Darcy said, somewhat flustered. She hadn't really thought through saying that before she had. Not that she ever did. "Wait, I mean yeah. I've never had sex while under house arrest. I just meant...I've never done it with someone I actually had feelings for." She was certainly not going to dwell on what those feelings were. They were far too complicated at the moment.

Loki's smile was small but she saw the flicker of surprised happiness in his eyes. "My, Darcy, what happened to romance being unnecessary?"

Darcy swallowed. "I just...Sex is fun." He raised an eyebrow at that which she ignored. "And you can have that without caring. And I never wanted to care because-"  _because I was scared of being hurt_. "Well yeah. But it is nice having it be more than just lust or a way to pass the time."

"Though it is by no means a poor way to spend the time." He said, suppressing a smile.

"Oh shut up." She said, rolling her eyes and grinning. He smiled too and their eyes met. Darcy's stomach fluttered and her heart seemed to pump more desperately. She'd thought she loved Loki before but it was nothing,  _nothing,_  compared to what she felt now. It was like before her feelings had been suppressed but by being with him again they were overwhelming her. This must truly be what it was like to love someone.

_Wait, what?  
_

Darcy hadn't even thought about...She  _had_ loved him but then all that stuff had happened and...well she missed him and she liked being with him but love?

That was something else.

She felt her smile slip away.

"What is wrong?" Loki asked her in concern.

What indeed?

"I..." She started. She'd already told him she loved him once. Why was she finding it so difficult to do it again? She'd been surprised to find she loved him last time; did she have to go through this again?

"What is it?" He prompted.

His eyes were so close to her, large and green and so very beautiful. They alone made her feel invincible. His words rang in her mind:  _I believe I love you, Darcy Lewis_. "I think I'm falling in love with you again." She blurted.

Loki's eyes widened momentarily in surprise before reverting to his usual mask of no emotion. "And that is a problem?" He asked warily.

"Very much so." She answered.

"May I ask why?"

"Because..." She began, she couldn't really think of a way to explain it that wouldn't sound like some preteen romance novel, presumably something involving vampires. "Okay, promise you won't laugh."

He looked wary but nodded.

Darcy took a deep breath before rushing. "Because my love for you is like nothing I've ever felt before. It's ridiculous. It's so intense and so overwhelming. I don't know if I can do it. I feel so vulnerable and I hate it and at the same time it's the most wonderful, thrilling thing in the world. But there's so much...feeling.  It's powerful enough to destroy me."

"Yes." He said simply.

"Yes?" She repeated because that really wasn't the response she'd been expecting.

"That is exactly it." Loki said.

Darcy bit her lip. "So...that's how you feel too?"

He nodded.

"Then how do you stand it?" She demanded. All she could think of was the heartbreak she'd felt and how vulnerable she felt now.

"Because you are worth it." He said as though this were obvious.

"I..." She trailed off, unsure of how to reply.

He stepped forward and placed a hand either side of her waist, holding her in his large hands the way only he ever had, like she was fragile and delicate but precious and loved.

"My love for you will destroy me." He said. "But you are worth it."

And she realised that maybe, just maybe, he was right.

She smiled at him. "You're worth it too, the destruction and everything."

And scarily her words were true. She wrapped her arms round his neck, bringing her hands up into his hair so that their faces were inches apart.

"You are so  _so_  worth it." She said and closed the distance between them.

Her next few weeks with Loki were so nice she felt practically optimistic about everything that was happening.

It was almost laughable just how wrong she was.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Free Tonight by Divided By Friday. Thanks for reading and reviewing.


	56. Ghost In Your Dreams

"Where are you going?" Loki demanded, struggling to keep up with her as she ran through the thick growth of the forest. The trees seemed to swirl together to form a thick canopy overhead.

"To find the fairies." Darcy replied simply.

Loki rolled his eyes. "Why did you not just say so then?"

She carried on through the trees, Loki at her side when a sudden flash of colour in the corner of her eye made her turn.

"Over there!" She shouted, running in that direction.

It had gone behind a tree. She reached it in seconds and turned in time for the leaves and forest to disappear.

She slammed into the ground like she'd apparated with Loki. Everything around her was black. The ground beneath her was solid but indistinguishable from the darkness surrounding her. She didn't think she'd ever seen black so deep.

She blinked a few times because her mind felt fuzzy. She was dreaming, of that she was suddenly extremely aware. But she didn't think she'd ever had a dream so intense where she was so acutely aware of what was happening.

And normally when she realised she was dreaming she woke up.

She turned round, looking for Loki but saw only darkness stretching infinitely in every direction. Sudden chills swept over her as she realised she was alone.

She'd been with Loki. She'd been dreaming.

Jesus, finding fairies? Good God her dreams were embarrassing.

But this felt different. She was certain she was still asleep. She'd fallen asleep in Loki's arms, pressed against him and feeling safe. Now she was alone and, though she didn't want to admit it, oddly scared.

 _Okay,_ she told herself _, it's just a weird dream. Just wake up. Wake up. Wake up._

But no amount of trying to force herself awake worked.

She pinched her arm and felt a sharp jolt go up her. Okay so she could feel pain. That was odd.

 _Come on come on,_  she thought desperately,  _wake up.  
_

"That won't work." A voice said out of the darkness. It was more like a rasp that sent shivers across her skin.

She swallowed.  _Just a dream_. "What won't work?" She asked, aiming for irritated.

"You are not in control here." The voice rasped. "You cannot wake until I allow it."

She felt her eyebrows rise in annoyance. It was one thing for her to have a weird dream but for someone else to try and control it? That just wasn't on. "Listen buddy," She said, disturbingly aware that given that she was dreaming she was now shouting at a voice she'd imagined in the first place. "This is my dream, I control it."

"This is not a dream, you foolish mortal." The voice hissed angrily. It was a low voice that made her worried to discover where it was coming from.

Darcy was certain it was. An odd kind of certainty within her like the knowledge of her own name that had to have been true. "Yes it is. I'm not awake."

"You believe if you are not awake it must be a dream?" The voice asked.

"Are those not the two options?" Darcy asked. God, her unconscious was annoying.

"Mortals," The voice sounded disdainful. Was this her imagining evil Loki or something? "How you ever evolved beyond single celled organisms is beyond me."

"Right okay, well I'm just going to ignore you until I wake up." Darcy said, rolling her eyes.

She kind of wished she could go back to finding fairies, she didn't know why her mind was-

"You believe I am a figment of your mind?" The voice asked patronisingly.

"You just read my thoughts so you have to be part of them. And I'm ignoring you." She said.

The darkness seemed to grow colder. "I assure you," The voice hissed. "I am very much real. And your thoughts are veiled by nothing more than glass."

"Then why are you just a voice?" Darcy asked figuring she may as well play along because she still wasn't any closer to waking up.

Something stirred at the edge of the darkness, like shades of black swirling together. Darcy frowned in the direction of the disturbance. It looked like the colour was swirling together. Then more colours appeared rapidly: greys and gold.

And suddenly a figure appeared before her. He was tall, maybe six foot and swathed in a long black hooded cloak. His skin was a bluish-grey, just visible from under the hood. It looked like someone had dehydrated it, making it thin and scaly looking, clinging to the bones of his face and hands. A gold labyrinth of metal closed over his mouth and nose like some form of jewellery.

He lifted his head so that the hood fell back slightly revealing black pits for eyes which filled her with a fear so deep she momentarily forgot what other emotions felt like.

Her throat constricted and her stomach tightened and she was filled with memories of panic attacks and hyperventilating and an all consuming terror.

She managed to force herself to look away from his eyes and gasped, drawing in cold air from around her. It felt thinner than normal air and burned her lungs but at least it was air.

Just a dream, she reminded herself. She'd never had a dream so vivid but she ignored that thought, suppressing it deeply because the alternative was almost as terrifying as looking at that thing again.

"That," His voice scratched her ears. "Is why I imagined you would prefer I stayed hidden."

Darcy sighed. "Look, I don't know what twisted recess of my mind you crawled out of but kindly return there."

"You do not know me, mortal?"

"First of all, my name is Darcy." She said, irritated. If she wasn't going to be allowed to have nice dreams then could she at least wake up and talk to Loki or Matt or Priya? "And second of all, should I?"

"I am The Other." He growled.

"Other what? Are there more of you because, no offence, ew."

"I work for the great master." He hissed the 'S's.

"Still lost, dude." Darcy said, wondering when the hell this dream would be over.

"Lord of the Chitauri, the great master Thanos." The Other hissed.

Darcy's eyes widened and she felt goosebumps crawl across her arms. Shit. Shit. Shit. Everything in her was screaming to run. It took her a moment to remember how to work her legs before she could scramble backwards.

The Other stretched his hand out and her feet lurched to a stop.

"No. You are not moving. Of course you could not escape and it would...amuse to watch however master Thanos sent me to talk to you. And I oblige." His thin lips parted into one of the creepiest smiles Darcy had ever seen.

She fumbled for words. This was like no situation she'd ever been in before. She couldn't ever remember feeling so uncertain. All other times she'd had Loki. But Loki couldn't protect her in dreams.

The smile fell from The Other's face. "Ahh yes. The Asgardian."

A sudden wave of protectiveness flooded her. This thing worked for the guy who had tortured Loki. She wouldn't let it anywhere near him.

"How are you reading my thoughts?" Darcy demanded, trying to change the topic from Loki.

"I am controlling your very unconscious." It hissed. "Your thoughts are simply another part of that."

"So if I met you in person you wouldn't be able to read my thoughts?"

"That is unimportant." The creature hissed.

"So that's a no?" Darcy asked.

"It would require contact." It said. Darcy's eyes flicked to its withered hands and suppressed a shudder. She didn't want those anywhere near her.

She wondered how much time had passed. Would Loki be wondering why she was still asleep?

She realised her mistake a moment too late.

"Ahh yes. We were discussing the Asgardian." It's lip curled back in disgust.

"His name is Loki." She snapped before she could stop herself. She just really didn't like people using anything but names because it made it so much easier to stop seeing them as a person. She supposed that much had stuck with her from her Political Science classes. She'd had about five lessons on the effects of calling Hitler the Fuhrer.

"The Asgardian fell to him, my master, through the void. He took the Asgardian in when he had nowhere." The Other said.

"And tortured him." Darcy snapped.

"It was necessary."

"Necessary?" Darcy asked, ignoring the fact that she currently couldn't move and going straight to angry mode. "In what twisted universe is torture necessary? He had nowhere to go and you tortured him to the brink of insanity, forcing him to do whatever it-"

The Other's hands closed into a fist and Darcy's throat suddenly felt like it was constricting, all air cut off from her. Her hand moved to clutch at her neck but she couldn't move it, it stayed locked by her side as she desperately struggled for breath.

At once The Other uncurled it's hand and air flooded into her. She pulled it in hungrily, ignoring the fact it stung her throat.

"Enough." The Other hissed. "It is true the Asgardian would have done what we wished him to anyway in exchange for the Earth. But he came to us a man with nothing to lose. That would never have done for my master. The Asgardian had to be willing to succeed for more than just his own gain, he had to develop a fear of failure, else he may have surrendered at an earlier point."

"And your Chitauri would still be here." Darcy coughed. "Rather than blown to pieces."

It raised its head and Darcy looked away quickly before she saw its eyes again.

"Your Earth heroes we were unprepared for. The Asgardian however was as ready as we could make him...and still he failed."

"But you just said it was the Earth-"

He made the same fist motion and Darcy felt the air squeeze from her again. She would have doubled up if she could have moved.

Bright spots appeared in her vision and if every inch of the room hadn't been purest black she was certain it would have started spinning.

It stopped and she choked air in. Her lungs felt like they'd collapse. She gagged a few times but apparently she couldn't be sick in a dream, even if it was being controlled by someone – or something – else.

"If you speak once more against Him I shall prevent you speaking at all." It hissed. It had walked closer as she was asphyxiated, so its creepy as hell face was even closer to her.

She opened her mouth to make a smart-ass comeback but she decided she didn't want to be strangled again.

"Yes, The Asgardian failed Him. Worse than that, not only did he fail to bring to Him the tesseract, he is responsible for the rest of the Chitauri being destroyed. For that he must be punished." It sounded like it was talking more to itself than to her.

"Okay that's ridiculous but I see you aren't going to listen." She said quickly before it could strangle her. "But if you're trying to punish him then what the hell are you doing in my dream? Why not go to his?"

"To get to him, we require you." He growled. Darcy felt like a heavy weight had dropped in her stomach.

"That's silly, Loki is literally looking for you. All you would have to do is give him a location and he would come to you." Darcy said, knowing that if they did that she'd never ever let him go. He could just drop a nuclear bomb there or something.

"After all the destruction he caused, he requires more than revenge upon him. No, my master sends me for you." The Other said.

"No chance he sent you just to say hi?" Darcy asked hopefully.

"For some reason The Asgardian seems fond of you-"

"Gee thanks..."

"Which is why we require you." The Other said.

"To do what?" Darcy asked, a bad feeling in her.

"It is unimportant."

"It's kind of important to me." Darcy said, her pulse racing and not in the good way.

"Very well...a series of procedures to act as a punishment on The Asgardian until he comes to you."

Darcy didn't really need much more information than that. "So you want to torture me and use me as bait to lure Loki out to rescue me?"

"Yes." It hissed.

"And you are telling me this why? I'll just tell Loki as soon as I wake up." Darcy said.

"No, you will not." It said.

Darcy went to cross her arms before realising she still couldn't move. "And why won't I?"

"Because you will say nothing of this. Then you will leave your room. You will leave the compound and come to a secure location telling no one of this." It revealed its teeth in another bone chilling grin.

"Uh yeah...that sounds fun and everything but I'll pass."

"No you will not." It said.

Somehow Darcy got the feeling it was keeping something from her.

"Why are you so sure that I'll do what you say?" Darcy asked.

"Because we have your family." It said simply.

Whatever Darcy had been expecting – or dreading – it hadn't been this. "What?"

"We have your family."

"I..." Darcy's mouth was dry as she fumbled for words. She hadn't even thought about her family for months. "I don't believe you."

The Other grinned and waved his hand. The blackness didn't exactly disappear but it became muted, like fog was coating it. It solidified into a misty room with cracked once white walls that were now a stained grey. It was small and filled with four...no five...people who were just as dirty as the room.

They looked half starved and Darcy wondered how long they had been in there. Darcy's heart twisted. Whatever issues she had with her family she wouldn't wish that treatment on anyone.

Her mom and dad were sat together in the corner, looking exhausted. Liam was fitfully asleep, kicking out and grunting in the corner and Anna's hair hung in greasy strands as she clutched Ryan to her protectively. He'd grown a lot. Darcy realised he must have been a full year old by now. God she was a bad aunt.

She wasn't an idiot. She knew that even with this glimpse it could still be false. They could be making all this up to get her to comply with them.

But she couldn't let anyone go through that, regardless of the fact they were her family or not. It was ironic really. They could have five strangers locked up and she wouldn't have let them be held prisoner for her, it just so happened she was related to these ones.

The scene in front of her dissolved and she was back in the darkness with The Other.

"What do I have to do?" She asked quietly, closing her eyes as she resigned herself to what was sure to be endless torture. Well no, it would have an end...

She ignored The Other's victorious smile because it just made her feel worse.

"You have one day to come to the location." The Other said.

"What location?" She asked.

"I have implanted it in your subconscious to prevent you telling anyone where you are going. You will be able to find your way without warning anyone."

"Okay." She said, biting her lip.

"You have one day or we shall kill one family member. A further death will occur for every day that you do not appear."

Oh God...she really had to succeed. "But wait...I'm locked in my room. I can't get out even if I wanted to. I've tried picking the lock before," She had, she'd been bored and wanted to see if it would work. Even with the lock picking skills Natasha had taught her she hadn't been able to do it. "And I couldn't, it's too complicated."

"It will open tomorrow morning. We have informants in the building who will open it for you. From then on your escape is our own. Do not be late." The Other hissed and disappeared in a swirl of darkness.

 

 

Darcy jolted awake.

"Are you all right?" Loki asked, his hand resting gently on her bare arm. Her head snapped to him, her breathing sharp. His face was etched with concern.

"I..." She panted. She wanted to break into tears but she couldn't let him know something was that badly wrong.

"Darcy." He prompted, his voice somewhat demanding.

"Just a bad dream." She said, her breathing slowing.

His eyes narrowed in suspicion. "It was not about..."

Oh shit. "What Thanos?" She asked perhaps a little bit too quickly. "No. No don't worry...it was just..." What did she used to have nightmares about? "Izzy. It was about Izzy."

"Oh." She saw most of the worry leave his eyes as he pulled her close to him.

She snuggled into his bare chest, his arms wrapping round her to keep her close to him. He was so warm and safe and she knew she wouldn't be for much longer.

"It was just a dream." He said reassuringly in her ear.

"Yeah..." She said hollowly. The dream would probably be the best thing to happen to her for a long time.

She breathed in his smell, leant her cheek against the skin of his chest, clung to his comforting words and with all her senses tried to remember just what it felt like to be in his arms.

"It is late." He said after a few minutes. "I was trying to wake you for some time. I will stay if you need me but I really ought to-"

"No. No it's fine." She said quickly, pulling away. She rolled out of bed and pulled clothes on.

"Are you certain you will-"

"It was just a dream, Loki." She snapped, buttoning up her jeans. "I'll be fine."

"If you a sure."

"I am." She said.

He was clothed in seconds. He waited the few moments that it took for her to finish dressing before hugging her goodbye.

"I will see you tonight." He said.

"Yeah." She said, trying to act normal. Then she thought  _fuck it_.

She reached up and grabbed the collars of his leather, aggressively pulling him down to her and pushing her lips hard against his. He stumbled back a step in surprise but his hands then went in that way he so often did to tangle the tips of his fingers in her hair whilst cradling her head protectively.

She wanted to straddle his waist and tear through layers of leather but the kiss just had to be enough. It was more intense and passionate than any she could remember.

She didn't even realise a tear had escaped her eye until she tasted the salty drop and hoped Loki hadn't sensed it too.

She went to push his lips open but he was on hers first. They kissed until they ran out of breath.

She pulled away gasping. Loki looked slightly stunned.

She had to stop from laughing because it was hardly the first time they'd kissed.

"Darcy..." He started. "What was that-"

She wrapped her arms round his neck before he could finish. "I just really love you, okay?" She said, sincerely.

He hugged her back before pulling away and frowning. "And...I you." It still sounded like he was struggling with the concept of loving someone. "Though I still don't know what that was for."

Darcy bit her lip. She wanted a better goodbye but that would let him know something was up. Her eyes flicked to the bed, thinking of that nightmare.

"Thanks," She said. "For being there."

Hopefully he would think she meant about the dream and not simply everything.

His hand brushed her cheek almost absent-mindedly. "I always will be." He pressed his lips lightly to the top of her head and left, closing the door behind him.

Oh how she wished that he was right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Wicked Man's Rest by Passenger. The temptation to finish this chapter with dun dun duuuuuuh. Anyway thanks for reading and reviewing you people are awesome.


	57. Don't Walk Into Danger

She took a deep breath. She pushed the tears pooling in the corners of her eyes away angrily. She couldn't do this. She couldn't say goodbye to Loki and then follow through with this. It was too painful. She swallowed, certain that the shards of her heart were scattered on the floor.

 _You break my heart, Loki,_ she thought angrily.  _And the worst part is that I let you._

Oh God, she had to do this. She closed her eyes for a moment, focusing. She didn't want to think of that now. She didn't know if there'd be time to later but she really  _really_ couldn't afford to think of it now.

Focused, she opened her eyes. She had to wait a few minutes to make sure Loki was gone.

She ran to all the drawers and cabinets searching for anything that could help her. Given that all she had was books that didn't really give her a lot to work with. In the end she just grabbed a pair of tweezers Priya had brought her when she'd delivered a new set of toiletries. Hopefully they'd help her pick any locks she came across.

She stared at the closed door, her eyes flicking briefly to the chains opposite the wall. If she failed there was a lot more at stake than her ending up in chains.

And if she succeeded she'd be in for a lot worse.

Thinking about it wouldn't change her situation so Darcy ignored all that, focusing only on her present objective of getting out of the building.

The Other had said they had people working for them who would open the door. Darcy didn't quite understand how, given Loki's rigorous searches but she didn't have much choice but to believe them.

She didn't want to think about it. She just had to do it.

She walked towards the door.

Her hand rose tentatively towards it, pushing it and not expecting it to open. Her lips parted in shock before she sealed them back together in determination.

She didn't know who had opened the door and she didn't care because the moment it opened she knew the people on the other end of the CCTV cameras would be doing something. And she didn't have long to stop them.

The hall was empty which she didn't have time to process as she sprinted down it. Had she had the time she would have wondered what had happened to the guards but instead the walls blurred past her and her sneakers skidded across the polished floor.

She couldn't make it far without weapons. Sooner or later she'd encounter a guard.

She couldn't believe she still remembered the way given that Matt had shown her so long ago.

She darted down hallways, her chest burning but unable to tell if her heartbeat was thundering because of the fact she was running or for fear guards would appear.

Or worse, Loki.

The image of her family dirty and incarcerated flickered across her mind and gave her the power to run faster.

Desperation had made her more determined than ever.

She almost flew past the weapons closest and her shoes screeched as she stopped.

She brought her tweezers to the lock. She glanced down the hallways which remained suspiciously empty.

She slipped the edge of the metal along the side. It was a bit more tricky than a lock that required a key but Natasha had taught her how to pick locks that required a card too. She moved it at the right angle, the trick was to slip it behind the- there she had it. She yanked the handle, expecting to hear the door click open.

Instead red lights flashed from the very ceiling tiles themselves as shrill alarms drilled into her ears.

She swore and ran without thinking, dropping the tweezers in the process.

Well if people didn't know something was up already then they did now.

She knew that it would be stupid to go to the same place that Natasha and Clint had escaped from but it was the only exit out of the building she knew and she already had a minuscule chance of this actually working.

As she rounded the corner she saw the first SHIELD guard running towards her. He was tall, lean and muscular. Standard SHIELD build.

Matt had only ever taught her self-defence.

Thank God Steve had taught her how to work on the offensive.

Without thinking she lunged her fist down to his groin before jumping at the last minute, slamming her elbow into his nose.

He crashed into the floor, hand reaching for his face which was covered in blood.

Darcy felt slightly apologetic but was too busy being amazed that it had actually worked to register this.

It was odd how she was working so instinctively. The majority of her classes had been spent thinking about technique but now she didn't have the time.

She grabbed the stun gun at the guard's waist before he could protest and aimed it him.

He raised his hands in surrender and she saw that his face was covered in blood. She'd broken his nose from the look of it.

"Good luck." He said and winked before collapsing on the floor.

Darcy's heart jolted. Was he the one The Other had mentioned? Possibly but somehow she just didn't believe it. Otherwise he would have told her.

But then...

 _ENOUGH, RUN YOU IDIOT!_  Her thoughts screamed at her.

She could think of that later. For now she clutched the stun gun in her hand and ran down the next hallway. She fired the gun at the nearest security camera, hoping the surge of electricity would short circuit them all before she continued running. A door on her right had the glass panel that meant it was a staircase.

She slammed into it with her shoulder and bolted down the staircase, trying as much as possible not to slow down when she rounded corners.

Sounds of footsteps on the stairs above her startled her. They were growing closer, obviously capable of running a lot faster than she was. She wondered where Loki was but wasn't going to question it too much at this point.

Maybe he was just very secure in her inability to get out of the building.

For one moment she wondered if whatever Thanos had planned for her if she succeeded would really be worse than Loki shouting at her if she failed. That thought stopped being amusing when she realised that it very much would be.

It was tempting to run all the way down the stairs but that was what they would expect her to do so instead she crashed through the door at the next landing and sprinted down the hallway.

This floor had other hallways that branched off far more often than the previous floor, a labyrinth of smaller rooms.

Footsteps echoed through the halls from up ahead so she ducked instead down one of the side passageways. She couldn't get to stairs this way but she could at least meet the main corridor further along. A longer but hopefully quieter journey.

As she rounded the next corner she saw a lone guard running. He raised his stun gun when he saw her but she was somehow quicker. Maybe the adrenaline really was having an effect on her.

The guard fell to the floor in time for her to leap over him as her feet propelled her forwards.

Corridor after corridor. So many that she lost count as the crash of footsteps hammered through her skull.

She would never make it out, what was she thinking?

But one thought of her family and it didn't matter. She had to at least try.

Lone guards became expected rather than surprising and she left a trail of bodies in her wake.

After what felt like an eternity but couldn't have been more than two minutes she reached another door with a glass panel.

She hurtled down the stairs two or three at a time like she was daring herself to trip and break her neck, which she almost did a few times.

The door to the next floor burst open just before she reached it and two guards burst onto the landing.

"She's on stairwell B!" One shouted into her walkie talkie as her eyes lit up at the sight of Darcy. Darcy stunned her before she could report anything else. The other one had reached for her rather than his walkie talkie or stun gun and his arms succeeded in grabbing her waist.

Unfortunately for him he seemed to have forgotten the fact that she'd just been running down stairs and the momentum pulled him down with her. She tripped but managed to grab onto the stair railing. The guard that had grabbed her wasn't so lucky and fell. Darcy accidentally kicked him in the face as she ran but her terror at being caught was too great for her to feel guilty about it.

Shit, they knew she was on these stairs. She could carry on but they'd expect her to or she could leave at the next floor but they'd expect her to do that too.

Then again the stairs stretched to all the floors.

She made the decision to leave at the next floor without being conscious of making it.

Rather than discernible footsteps, she heard the roar of many people moving. The unmistakable raucous of arms scraping walls and heavy breathing and their feet pushing off of the floor. All of it coming towards her.

And there were no halls for her to go down.

She could go back down the stairs but deep down she knew that if she did she'd be caught.

She scanned for somewhere to run to and pointed her stun gun to the nearest door handle.

The metal burnt out at the shock from her gun and she managed to kick the door open. Hopefully they wouldn't notice the blackened door handle as they ran past.

She dived through the room, slamming the door shut behind her just as the first wave of people rounded the corner.

She pressed her ear to the door, her chest rising and falling rapidly as she tried to fill her burning muscles with oxygen. The adrenaline had stopped her feeling most of the pain but there was no denying the knife jammed under her ribs that had to be a stitch or the lactic acid burning in her calves.

She nearly collapsed against the door but had to remind herself that she wasn't safe yet.

From her side of the door, it sounded like a stampede was running past.

She waited for some sort of shout that the door knob was black or that something else was wrong but there was nothing.

The alarm she'd set off still blared but this room at least was free from the red lights.

Noticing this, Darcy looked round the room. It was dark which was a relief. If it had been lighted it would probably have meant someone was in there.

With a few blinks her eyes adjusted to the darkness. She contemplated finding a light switch but there was a chance the light could be seen from gaps in the doorframe.

It was enough for her to see that she was in a lab. She sighed in relief.

If she was going to be stuck anywhere, at least a lab was familiar.

So she was stuck in a lab. That was good. And all the guards running to the stairwell could be good because it meant there would be less on the others. And the guards didn't know that she only knew about one of the exits. In fact the more she thought about it the better because they would probably think she'd be smart enough to use a different one.

Just like she was now by hiding rather than running, she was going against their expectations of her.

What was bad, other than her obvious situation, was the fact that her stun gun was now fully drained. She'd swapped them on the way every time it ran out for the stun gun of the guard she'd just knocked out but her last charge on this one had gone on a door so she didn't have one to swap it for.

Well it was a good thing she knew her way around a lab then.

She didn't expect to find weapons but there was a lot she could use.

She steered clear of anything too deadly like acids because despite her desperation to escape she really didn't want to seriously wound any guards.

Instead she grabbed a handful of scalpels and shoved all but one of them in her pocket. Steve had taught her basic hand to hand combat but she'd only had one lesson where she was armed.

She really hoped she didn't encounter anyone.

She walked back over to the door. Silence greeted her.

She counted to three just to check. Silence.

She swung the door open and ran, figuring to peek out would be more dangerous if anyone was there.

She was lucky, though. The hall was deserted.

Her grip on the scalpel was slippery from her sweating palms.

She felt very under prepared.

In her mind she ran through the rest of the plan. She was only one floor away and she was going to aim for staircase D because it was the one at the opposite end of the building to staircase B.

That meant it was likely to be emptiest but also meant with a building this side she was running for a good five minutes before she saw the door.

A smile flicked across her face. She'd made it to the stairs!

Someone slammed into her, knocking her sideways.

She crashed into the floor, the breath knocked from her lungs.

The room was spinning but she struggled against the guard who'd attacked her. She couldn't see what he looked like, just a mass of black fabric blocking her sight.

His hands were fumbling for his stun gun at his waist.

He was straddling her to stop her from moving but she managed to hook her feet round his ankles and pulled her legs apart, sending him sprawling down.

He would have slammed into her but she rolled, once and twice so that she was on top of him, straddling him.

Of course with her weight it wasn't nearly as effective. Then again she already had a scalpel in hand.

Without thinking of the fact she was stabbing someone, she brought it down into the crook where his shoulder met his neck.

He howled in pain and she took the opportunity to grab his stunner, turning it on him and firing.

He went limp beneath her and she pushed herself up and ran back towards the door. Hurtling down the stairs she thanked fate that in their fall she'd managed to accidentally reposition the scalpel so that she'd jammed the blunt end into the man's skin.

It was something Steve had showed her, several places on the body that could be stabbed with something like car keys and would make it feel like they'd been stabbed with a knife.

She never thought she'd remember it, let alone have it be useful.

And now she had a stun gun so no more hand to hand combat. She didn't want to think about the bruises she'd get from him.

He must have come out a side room or corridor to surprise her.

Darcy saw one more guard on the stairs but stunned her before she could even reach for her walkie talkie.

At last she swung the door open and emerged into the hall just before she entered the garage. Last time when she'd been here with Clint and Natasha it had been open, she got the impression it normally was but since their escape clearly better plans had been put in place to stop more breakouts.

The guards had certainly not been that well prepared last time.

On the bright side once she got through she'd be out. She just had to open the door.

It wasn't a key or key card lock but rather had a wide computer screen next to it.

Darcy didn't know whether to be happy or not. On the one hand she could crack a computer easier than the other locks but equally it would take longer.

She didn't dwell on this, instead running to the monitor and hurriedly pressing keys.

Streams of text rolled in front of her and she went on auto pilot. This was nothing more than a training exercise on her hacking course. That was all. In fact if the circumstances were different, she would have enjoyed it.

"Put your hands up and step away from the computer or I'll stun you." Said a familiar female voice behind her.

Darcy froze. She'd been so engrossed in breaking the code that she hadn't even stopped to think about the oncoming guards. And she was so close. An extra thirty seconds and she'd have it.

She risked it, pressing more buttons.

"Darcy, I'm warning you." Priya said just as Darcy pressed enter. She didn't sound like she was messing around.

"Okay okay," Darcy said, raising her hands and turning around to mask the sound of the door buzzing open.

"Weapons on the floor." Priya said. Her face was stern, not friendly. Completely business like.

"I can't, Priya." Darcy said.

Priya scowled. Darcy would have thought someone as tiny as Priya would look amusing with a stun gun in her arms but Priya looked downright deadly. "And why not?" She demanded.

"Because I have to go." Darcy said.

"No you don't." Priya snapped, revealing the anger she' been attempting to mask. "We're all working for months to keep you safe and you try to escape? Thanos will find you and he will kill you."

"I know and I'm sorry but I have to." Darcy said, inching backwards towards the door.

"And why is that?" She demanded.

Darcy swallowed. She trusted Priya but she also knew that she, like Loki and Matt, would care more about keeping her safe than about the wellbeing of her family.

But equally there was no way she was going to survive going over to Thanos. She didn't want the last thing she said to her friend to be a lie.

"I can't, Pri," She said, fighting back tears. "They have my family."

Priya's look of anger softened ever so slightly but her stun gun never wavered.

"Then tell us where they are! We can go rescue your family." She pleaded.

"I can't risk that." Darcy said, shaking her head. "At least this way they'll be safe."

Priya swallowed. "I can't let you do this."

Darcy smiled sadly. "I know."

She dropped to the floor before Priya had time to react, pulling her stun gun out.

Priya's shot soared over her head where she'd been standing a moment ago.

Crouched, Darcy pulled the trigger and watched as the bolt hit her.

Priya crumpled and Darcy looked away.

"I'm sorry." Darcy said as she walked away though she knew no one was there to listen.

She ran into the garage, scanning the available cars.

She went for the one nearest the front; a sleek black two door car. Not the most conspicuous but it would hopefully reach the speeds she needed to escape.

She picked the lock with one of the scalpels and even managed to start the ignition with it. God, she'd have to thank Natasha for that skill.

Then she realised she'd never have a chance.

Ignoring that thought, she drove forwards. As expected the garage doors opened as she approached. The car was chipped. She'd have to swap it when she got a chance.

She was on a mountain side road and had to squint against the natural day light. It was morning but she hadn't been in natural light since she'd been living at Stark tower. That had been August. She'd mostly lost track of time but it had to be late October or early November by now.

And she was in South Dakota. On a mountain. She turned the heating up in the car.

The SHIELD facility must have been in the actual mountain itself.

She'd escaped. Now she had to find The Other. It had said she would know the way but she was feeling no inkling as to which way to go.

For now she only had one option: straight. She didn't know what she would do when she reached a junction.

She found out pretty quickly. She had reached the bottom of the mountain when the road forked.

She had an odd feeling to go left so she did. After all, her instincts had managed to get her out of SHIELD.

She carried on like that for twenty minutes until she knew she'd reached her destination. She'd forgotten to swap cars but maybe it would let Loki track her down.

 _No_ , she thought suddenly. She couldn't hope for rescue. She'd be leading Loki into an ambush.

She was at what appeared to be a warehouse. It was a giant building made of corrugated steel with a dirt patch for parking. She pulled up and got out of the car.

Just like with the appearance of The Other, every sane and reasonable part of her was telling her to run. Was telling her that this was not a safe place to be.

She shuddered.

Her family. She didn't have a choice.

She hugged her arms to her chest before dropping them to her sides. Despite her terror she wouldn't act scared. She wouldn't give them the satisfaction.

She walked through the doors and into a larger room. It was completely empty.

In the centre stood The Other, cloaked just as it had been in her dream.

"You came." It hissed.

Darcy glared at it. "I told you I would. Now where are my family?"

"Patience." It said.

She'd expected Thanos but was not inclined to ask where he was.

The Other walked over to her and she resisted the urge to recoil. Somehow she hadn't quite managed to recall from her dream just how grotesque it was. Or how bad it smelled. Like rotting flesh.

It reached an arm out, palm raised as though expecting Darcy to take it. Darcy raised an eyebrow at it.

"Come." It said.

"Where are my family?" She asked again.

"I will take you to them, mortal." It snapped, evidently irritated. "For us to travel, you must come."

It was going to teleport her like she'd done with Loki. Somehow that hurt even more. That was Loki's thing. This creature couldn't do it too.

"You said you could read my mind with contact." She said. "Why would I do that?"

It lunged forward without warning, its hand gripping her arm. It was somehow at once slimy and dry, like something dead that had decayed under water.

"Because you have no choice." It answered.

At once Darcy moved. It wasn't like with Loki where she was pulled into the darkness. Instead it felt like she was pushed face first, batted around and tossed about in the black until she smacked into the ground.

"Ahhh," A smug voice said, turning Darcy's irritation to fear. "You brought the Asgardian's whore." There was only one person the voice could belong to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Sleepsong by Bastille. Thanks for reading and commenting.


	58. Ripped From Heaven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick disclaimer that I wrote this before Guardians of The Galaxy so the Thanos here is my interpretation derived from the comic books, they're very similar (in my mind at least) but there are a few differences.

 

He had to be at least six foot seven, taller than Loki and even Thor. Somehow he managed to be more muscular than Thor as well which Darcy would have thought was impossible. He donned gold armour that was cut away in parts to reveal muscles that rippled underneath. His skin was greyish-purple and his eyes were the blue of Loki's sceptre, a colour that made her skin crawl and screamed of danger in her mind.

Darcy had turned herself over to him. Someone who could probably kill her in numerous different ways. Who'd managed to torture and control Loki of all people. Who tortured people and turned them into weapons. Loki was just one of many.

Somehow that reality had only just sunk in.

"You're Thanos?" She asked, her voice a lot more assured than he felt.

They were in a long low room with dim lights and dirty walls.

Thanos's eyes burned even more intensely as he turned on her, an expression of disgust on his face. He was looking at her like she was a fly he'd like very much to swat.

He turned from her and nodded to something to her right.

She turned and her heart caught in her chest. Her family stood there in chains, even Ryan who was a year old had a thin metal cuff round his ankle connecting him to his mother's. They looked at her with wide eyes, evidently confused and terrified. Too scared even to speak. Apparently no one had told them why they were here.

A man in a all black uniform who stood guarding them turned and deftly slapped her mother round the face. Darcy ran forwards towards them, hands outstretched.

"No." Thanos said, holding his hand out. She felt like she ran into a wall of solid energy, not like when the Other did it in her dream. The energy burned and forced her to take a step back. Her mom cringed back, hand flying to her cheek. Even from here she could see the bright blue eyes of the soldier and knew he was being controlled.

"The first rule you will follow is to only talk when you are spoken to, do you understand?" Thanos asked, voice loud and irritated.

Darcy turned and glared at him. Not talking was really not her thing, it might take a while. Fury burned in her as her hands curled into fists shaking with anger.

"I came to you. I did what you said. Now let my family go."

The nostrils in his broad nose flared slightly. "You were told they would be killed if you did not come. There was nothing about them being released if you did.

They will remain to ensure your co-operation." He nodded again to the man and Darcy watched as he punched her father in the gut. Darcy winced but managed not to run over, not wanting to experience that pain again.

God, she was a horrible person. How could she let that happen?

"Now," His voice took on a slightly condescending edge. "You will speak only when spoken to. Do you understand?"

Darcy took one last pained look at her family before turning back to Thanos.

"Yes." She said, her stomach tightening. She wasn't just saying yes to being silent, she was saying yes to everything. Signing away her freedom with a single word. Now they knew she'd do whatever to stop her family being beaten up.

She wanted to close her eyes and pretend like none of this was happening.

But it was and she couldn't keep denying it. She couldn't keep pushing thoughts away.

She felt the dingy room around her but didn't look away from Thanos. This was her life now.

Hatred crawled on her skin like insects as she looked at him. This was the man who had tortured Loki and imprisoned her family. Words weren't enough to describe how she felt about him but a stream of insults filled her mind anyway.

"Enough!" He commanded, gesturing again to the soldier by her family.

Darcy barely had time to react before her brother was kicked in the shins. He fell to the floor, his anguished cry echoing across the room.

Darcy turned to Thanos in fury. Her mouth gaped with words she was forbidden to utter perched on her lips. What the fuck what was that for?!

"You will not say nor think anything so disrespectful." Thanos told her.

What the actual fuck? She stuttered, her lips forming words of protest but too scared of inflicting worse to say them. He could read minds?

"Yes." Thanos answered simply. "How else do you believe I granted the Asgardian the power to control the minds of others? And the power to the Other of simply telepathy. You mortals simply do not think, do you? And your thoughts of hatred will not be tolerated."

"But I can't control what I think!" Darcy angrily protested, forgetting the whole only speak when given permission thing.

"Then I suggest you attempt to use your pathetic intellect to learn." Thanos answered. "Now silence."

Darcy had to physically bite her tongue to stop from swearing at him. It was a good thing her thoughts were an indecipherable mess of anger even to herself or he'd probably kill one of her relatives.

He grinned, evidently pleased with the fact she was following his order to be quiet.

"I will not be dealing with you myself." Thanos said, his smile quickly falling away to reveal that same expression of disgust on his face. "I had planned on. The Asgardian remembers my touch and it would break him to know you were undertaking the same. However it would destroy you too quickly. The Other will interact with you and modify it so that it appears to be me. I will create a psychic link between The Asgardian and you so that he is aware of what you are going through."

Oh God. Well that didn't sound at all painful.

And whatever she went through Loki would see. No. Oh please no. She'd done this to keep him safe. She knew she'd be hurt and die but...this was somehow different. Him seeing her be tortured wasn't fair. She knew how she'd feel if the reverse were true.

And he said it so matter-of-factly but she supposed to him she was just an object used to hurt Loki.

He raised his hand and she had to resist the urge to flinch away from him. She hardly had time to even think about reacting before she froze.

Her mind went fuzzy, not quite blank but like all her thoughts were merging into one before she could understand them. She felt the room spin round her and if she could have moved she would have collapsed to the floor.

And then she saw Loki. It wasn't the Loki she knew. He was younger, his eyes more full of raw pain rather than the hardened version she'd come to recognise. His features weren't quite as sharp and even the way he held himself was different, not quite as assured though it might have been the effect of the torn clothes he wore.

She knew instantly, though she wasn't sure how, that this must have been Loki after he fell. When Thanos found him but before he'd started torturing him. And then the image changed to Loki as she'd seen him last, smiling at her before he shut the door. Seeing him was like sticking her heart in a blender.

A searing hot pain shot through her skull so suddenly she was unable to hold in her scream. Distantly she heard someone else call out, her mother, she thought, before the sound of her being hit.

And then it was gone and she was back in the room, standing in front of Thanos and the Other.

"The link with the Asgarian is complete. His will remain inactive until I force it tomorrow so he will be unaware of its existence until then. Do you have any questions?" Thanos asked.

Oh thank God a chance to speak. It was difficult to remain respectful given everything he'd done. "Why go through all of this?" She asked. "Loki is out looking for you right now. If you want him you could just show yourself to him. Why use me as bait?"

"You are not bait. You are a part of my revenge. Thanks to your relationship, that is. If it is any consolation, it is not personal. We simply need you in order to destroy him."

She held back the thousands of angry retorts and insults that she wanted to cry out, knowing her family would pay for it if she did. If they hit her it would be worth it but she didn't think they'd refrain from hurting even Ryan, let alone the rest.

"You will do exactly as I or one of my followers tells you to. Should you disobey or protest then your family will pay for it. If you attempt to escape, one of them will die. Should you succeed in escaping, which I guarantee you will not, they all will. Do you understand?"

"Yes."

And she did. She would be the perfect little slave.

He breathed out a dry chuckle. "Yes. Slave. I like that. It is good that you are aware of your lack of autonomy, you will not cause trouble that way."

Her eyes flicked to her family _. Not if I can help it._

"We will not begin until tomorrow." He said. He spoke in such a way that suggested her being here meant she didn't mind whatever it is they would do to her. He sounded like he just enjoyed the sound of his own voice. "For now the Asgardian will believe you have escaped him of your own volition. That alone ought to anger him. The rest will start tomorrow." He disappeared in a blast of purplish energy.

Darcy let a sigh of relief escape her. She didn't even know she'd been holding her breath in his presence.

She looked round the room, unable to imagine where they could be. It had a vaguely warehouse like feel to it but it was too small. And from the fact that it had somewhere to hold her and her family it had to have something like a cell. Maybe it was an old SHIELD building? Or some other government? They may not even have been in America. It had to be masked from Loki or-

"So," The Other said, interrupting her from her contemplative thoughts. "You escaped the Asgardian. Though of course you had inside help."

Darcy thought of the agent who had wished her luck before pretending to be unconscious.

"I'm sure you are interested in finding out who." She bit back a sarcastic comment, not wanting to be responsible for any more bruises her family received. She doubted it wanted an answer from her anyway.

"This SHIELD agent has been working with us for some time. Master Thanos uses mind altering effects on those under His control. However when the Asgardian took control of Earth he recognised the physical effects of those under His control. All apart from one because he was not under mind control but working quite voluntarily." He continued. Darcy really couldn't care less which of the thousands of agents it was. It didn't change the fact that she was trapped as Thanos's new torture victim. "Why don't you come greet our guest?"

The door opened and a man wearing a SHIELD uniform walked through.

Okay.

She was wrong.

She did care.

She felt like she'd received the punch to the gut, not her father as she recognised Matt's elfish features.

Of all the people who worked at SHIELD it was him? Had it all been a lie? His friendship and everything?

No. They'd been friends long before Loki arrived. That somehow made his betrayal even worse.

Darcy managed to hide her look of surprise and pain and instead glared at him with an intense hatred that she hadn't felt since Loki had locked her up.

The Other grinned as though he had Thanos's power to know exactly how she was feeling despite her attempt at masking it.

"Perhaps you are wondering why he has kept us informed of the Asgardian's and your actions." The Other continued.

That was exactly what she was wondering but only so she could work out just how painfully she was going to kill Matt if she ever got out of here. At least she knew if she didn't and Priya found out then she'd definitely finish the job for her.

Unless they were in it together?

No. Just because Matt turned out to be an utter asshole didn't mean all of her friends were. She just...had bad luck with this one.

"It is odd...what money can do to you mortals."

Darcy swallowed. Matt sold her out for money? Ouch.

She wondered how much she was worth to him.

Unsurprisingly he couldn't meet her eyes. The bastard.

"Do you have anything to say to her?" The Other asked, turning to Matt.

Matt still didn't look in her direction. "Thanos told me he wouldn't hurt her." He said to The Other angrily. It shocked her to hear someone talk to it like that but then again it didn't have the power Thanos had and it wasn't like Matt had his family locked up and being used to control him.

"Yes He did. I however made no such promises. You have your money. Now leave us."

Matt glared at The Other for a few more moments before turning to face her, a look of apology on his face before he left. That was almost worse than if he'd proudly gloated or something.

Darcy swallowed. So Matt was an asshole. At least she couldn't feel guilty for not saying goodbye to him before she left.

The Other was watching her carefully, probably trying to gage her reaction. God if she could she'd probably kill him before killing Thanos.

Fuck, good thing Thanos was gone or thoughts like that would be bad.

Holy shit that was stupid, how on Earth was she supposed to control her thoughts?

Simply? She wouldn't.

And her family would pay for it.

Knowing the Other probably wanted her to be visibly upset she kept her features set in an impassive mask, glaring at him challengingly. She didn't doubt that he would order her family to be hit just like Thanos had if she refused.

"Come." The Other hissed, obviously annoyed with her lack of response. It gestured in irritation like she'd ignored him. Maybe she had. She hadn't meant to.

Her family were being led off in another direction but she had no choice but to follow the Other. It walked through a side door and she followed, not even caring to take in where they were walking because she wouldn't be able escape anyway. Not without condemning her family to what promised to be a painful death.

Instead the corridors branching off barely registered and she watched The Other carefully, unable to stop herself from thinking of the thousands of painful ways he could hurt her. She wondered what Loki's reaction would be to the bruises and scars that were sure to soon cover her skin.

How long it would be until she cracked? She liked to think she would be like a heroine from a novel or film who laughed in the face of her torturers. One who would escape and take her family with her, the building exploding behind her as the wind blew through her fabulous hair.

But even if she could she wouldn't risk it because the consequences of failing were too great. And she'd be one of the other prisoners. The ones who had been tortured to insanity to scare the heroine of her fate.

Darcy wasn't the hero. She was just the collateral damage.

It was only a question of how long she had.

Not an if but a when.

At last the Other stopped. They were in a corridor like the others but with fewer side passages, like they were at the end of whatever labyrinth she'd been led down.

It reached for a key and unlocked the door.

She could pick the lock easily, she realised.

And then she almost laughed because what good would picking the lock be? They could give her a car and an unlocked room and she still wouldn't even contemplate trying to escape.

Her life wasn't hers anymore. She wondered how long it would be until that finally sunk in. Each time she had to remind herself was more painful than the last.

"In." The Other commanded.

She obeyed, walking into the dim room.

It was little more than six foot by six foot. The walls were a dirty grey like they had once been white with darker grey and yellow stains covering more of the wall than whatever the original colour was. A single, flickering light bulb hung from a short metal chain in the middle of the room. In the corner on the bare floor was a thin, dirty mattress with no sheets and beside it was what Darcy could only call a chamber pot. The whole place smelled strongly of disinfectant but it wasn't quite enough to mask the putrid smells that lingered underneath.

She took a shaky breath in through her mouth. The air tasted stale.

 _Homey_ , she thought.

The door slammed shut behind her, sealing her in. She heard the lock click and the faint shuffling of the Other moving away.

She didn't know what she'd expected. Further instructions, perhaps? Or an explanation of when it would be back?

Either way she hadn't received one. She sighed. She should probably get used to that. What is it Thanos had said?  _We simply need you in order to destroy him._

She was nothing more than a means to an end, certainly not worthy of any explanations from them.

She walked over to the filthy mattress, hesitated and then sat down, resigning herself to filthy living conditions. It wasn't like she'd be in a state of mind to be repelled by them for much longer.

The too large springs dug into her. She wondered if her family had mattresses. She wished she had something to offer to negotiate better conditions for them but Thanos knew she would co-operate with anything as long as he kept threatening them.

Would Loki have found out she was missing yet? Probably, she decided. As soon as she got away someone would have alerted him. Thanos must have masked her from him or something because there's no way she could have got out alone.

Even with Matt helping her.  _Matt_. Anger flared through her at the thought of him. Her hand curled into a fist. That absolute bastard. He must have opened the door for her and maybe taken care of the guards outside her room given how eerily quiet it had been.

It was an extraordinary risk for him to have taken. If Loki had found out then Matt would be dead. He had to know that. So just how much money was he being paid to make that risk worth it?

And then there was that other guard. Why had he helped- oh. She suddenly remembered the note that had come with her dinner all those weeks ago saying that the guards were on her side. They must have thought she'd been playing along with Loki and now was the moment for her to escape. He'd been helping her. No wonder she'd managed to knock him out, she was barely able to handle an untrained attacker with a weapon, let alone a trained SHIELD agent.

Had the other guards been helping too? Was that why they didn't alert Loki? Was that why there had been so few of them?

No. Maybe to some extent they would help but that was a bit too far. There had to be some other reason.

She would have laughed if her situation hadn't been so dire. They thought they were helping her get to safety and instead she was here.

A sudden jolt of pain erupted in her head. She shut her eyes tight as she winced and the darkness morphed into a different scene before her.

 

 

"And why was I not informed when she first left the room?" Loki demanded, anger boiling beneath the surface of the words, threatening to spill over. He paced in a large room which she took to be some sort of office, exactly his style with dark wood and bookshelves. Before him were assembled three SHIELLD agents who were doing their best not to be terrified.

 _She left,_  he thought. Darcy jolted. Loki's thoughts? That was new.

"We thought the situation was contained, sir." One guard said.

"We did not want to bother you for something so simple." Another added.

"Simple?" Loki hissed. " _Simple?_  If the matter were so simple then why were a whole building of Earth's best agents unable to stop an untrained mortal from leaving?"

They winced but knew better than to answer back.

"Leave me and if I see you again it will be the last time, do you understand?" If Darcy had been physically present she would have winced at the way he sounded like Thanos then.

They all said their "Yes sirs" and left.

Loki breathed deeply in rage. Darcy could tell that she was seeing him after the worst of it. However angry he was now it was absolutely nothing compared to how he had first been when he found out. A sudden image flit through her mind of a room that had been wrecked and she knew it had been done by magic.

He leaned forwards on his desk, his nails scraping across the surface.

She'd lied, he thought, his nails gauging further. All of it had been lies and he'd fallen for it. Did she ever tell him a word of truth?

A self-deprecating smile flickered briefly on his lips. Of course she hadn't. He'd been an idiot to believe her. Foolish. He turned away, clenching his fists tight before he destroyed another room. It had been his own fault. Why in the nine realms would she possibly care for him the way he cared for her? Once perhaps she might have done but...he knew now he ought to have informed her of his plans on Svartalfheim. He had been idiotic to believe she had moved beyond that.

Darcy couldn't believe he was more annoyed at himself for believing her than he was at her for leaving. Then again it was Loki. He did have a way of blaming himself for any weakness he showed.

And like a fool, his thoughts continued spitefully, he had believed her when she said she forgave him. Said she missed him. He had been so hopeful that it was the truth that he did not once consider the truth that ought to have been obvious to him. She had done it all simply so that her escape would be a surprise. Hurt as he was, he could not stop from being slightly impressed, he had not expected such a ruthless toying with his emotions from her.

He clenched his teeth. Proof, he supposed, of what he thought he learned long ago. Emotional attachments only led to pain. He was better off without them.

 

 

Darcy slammed back into reality like she'd magically transported there. She was back in the dirty cell and not half flitting through Loki's mind and half observing.  
Loki knew, she thought as she pulled her knees up to her chest. And the worst part was that she would have given anything for him to have remained that way. It was, after all, better for him to hate her than for him to love her and see what would happen tomorrow. Better for him to believe she had left of her own choice than to discover the truth and have her used against him. If she was going to be tortured, she'd much rather Loki didn't care.

Somehow she doubted she would get that wish.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Oh My God by Hit The Lights. Thank you for reading and all the amazing comments, you people are so nice.


	59. Poison The Hero

Darcy had sat for hours thinking of Loki. Not in a sappy romantic way but trying to cling onto every time she'd seen him happy. The way he smirked when he mockingly insulted her, the endearing smile on his face when he'd taken her to Disney land, the look of awe he'd worn when she was dressed in Asgardian clothes, the lazy grin on his face when he woke up and saw her beside him...She clung to those small moments desperately. Reminding herself that they had been happy once. That he had, at one small time in his life, been content.

After tomorrow she doubted she'd remember that.

Her mind cried apologies that she knew he wouldn't hear. That she knew he wouldn't accept even if he could. She'd hoped, perhaps naively, that Thanos could just take her for his vengeance. But no, he would torture her and then move onto him. A doubly worse punishment.

She sighed. Thanos had her family. She'd chosen to go with him because it was the lesser of two evils, just not from Loki's perspective. She didn't feel like she had a choice and yet she still felt guilty.

She reached her hand up to brush away tears but instead found her cheeks dry. Maybe after everything her body had given up trying to express emotion. It was just done.

Darcy would have put it out of its misery if she didn't know that if she were gone Thanos would have no more use for her family and would dispose of them the same way.

After being locked in her room for the past month she'd grown increasingly better at telling the time without having a clock. Hours passed with no more insights into Loki's mind. Her stomach growled and she regretted not sticking around at SHIELD long enough to have breakfast.

Hours passed until she figured it had to be at least seven or eight in the evening and she'd still been given no food. She leant back against the wall, resigning herself to the fact that they probably wouldn't bother to feed her. After all, why waste food on someone you're eventually going to kill anyway?

Eventually, and she didn't know how, she managed to fall asleep.

 

 

She woke suddenly at the sound of the door opening. She jerked up on the mattress, cringing as her neck cricked. Somehow she doubted neck ache would soon be the worst of her worries.

The Other stood in the doorway and she fought the strong urge to crawl into the furthest corner.

"Get up." It said.

Darcy swallowed her retorts and clambered to her feet. She felt weak after her day of starvation yesterday and the room span like she'd stood up too quickly.

She leant a hand against the wall behind her, feeling the dirt coat her fingers.

Her skin longed for a shower but she doubted that was what The other was here to offer.

"Follow me." It commanded.

It walked away and she stumbled after it. It didn't once turn to see whether or not she was following. It must have been very assured in her co-operation.

Hopefully that meant her family weren't being used as punching bags.

The light in the hallway burned her eyes after the flickering bulb in her cell. She squinted against it.

Morning...in her mind she saw Loki. He'd spent all yesterday and last night frantically searching for her. She imagined he would still be trying now.

It led her down a few halls until she wound up in front of another door like all the others. The Other pushed it open and gestured for her to walk in.

The room was larger than her cell, about the size of the labs in SHIELD. However instead of their spotless glass it was the same grimy, dirty grey as the rest of the building. Not for the first time, Darcy wondered what the building had been before Thanos had taken it.

Her eyes were drawn immediately to a metal table in the middle of the room that made every individual cell in her body recoil. Cabinets were crammed against one wall but from the way some of the doors were missing or hanging off their hinges Darcy assumed they were empty.

The Other walked over to the table. "Sit." It commanded.

The reality of whatever they had planned for her hit her like a blow to the gut as she realised he expected her to lay on that table like an animal awaiting dissection.

And she thought of running and fighting, of clawing her way free until they dragged her kicking and screaming back. She imagined refusing to co-operate and desperately fighting for her freedom until the last moment. But they had her family.

A sudden thought hit her as she looked at the empty room...no...she'd done this to keep them safe.

"Wait." She said, her stomach tightening with anxiety as she spoke. What if she made things worse?

The Other turned and she saw annoyance etched into his features. She spoke before he had a chance to reprimand her. "I want to see my family." She said.  
If anything his annoyance deepened into outrage. "You are in no position to make such demands."

Darcy pushed away every thought that she had about hurriedly apologising. They'd definitely hurt someone if she did that, her only hope was carrying through with her request. "Really?" She asked, forcing herself to sound derisive. "Because I'd say I am. You want me to do what you tell me when you send the mental footage to Loki and for that you're threatening my family. For all I know you killed them as soon as I saw them yesterday." She tried hard to keep her voice from wavering. "I need to see them every morning to make sure you've kept your part in this."

The Other tensed in anger. "You doubt Him?"

She lifted her chin in defiance. "I'd be an idiot not to."

It tensed in anger before walking back to the door. "Come." It hissed.

Darcy didn't know whether it was taking her to her family or to Thanos but she figured she could always try making her demands to him. She didn't know if that would get better results or not. Either way, at least she was avoiding that table for a while longer.

It continued to lead her down so many hallways that she was certain it was going back on itself just so she couldn't find her way out again.

Eventually it stopped outside a door which unlike the others had a guard stationed outside.

From this close the blue eyes of the guard seemed to glow. She wondered if he was once a SHIELD agent sent to infiltrate Thanos's plans.

"Open the door." The Other commanded.

The guard obeyed without hesitation, pulling a key from his pocket and inserting it into the door.

And inside were Darcy's family, chained and dirty but looking no more harmed than they had yesterday.

"Darcy?" Her mom asked in shock. Clearly they hadn't been expecting them.

The Other slammed the door before Darcy could even think of replying.

"Now follow." It ordered her.

She paused for a moment, savouring the moment of seeing her family alive and whole. She hadn't realised until just that moment how scared she'd been that they'd been harmed.

Then she followed the Other before it changed that.

It led her back the way they'd come and sooner than she would have liked. The room seemed more hostile than it had before, now that she knew what was contained in it.

The Other approached the table again and gestured for her to sit on it. Chills raced along her skin but having no more ways left to protest and knowing her family would pay for any disobedience, she took trembling steps towards it.

She had to hop onto it in a way that was completely incompatible with the surroundings. It reminded her of jumping onto kitchen counters at parties, a glass of something alcoholic in her hand.

Instead the cold metal under her hands reminded her of cruel reality.

"What delayed you?" Thanos demanded from behind her. She jumped at his voice, already twitchy from the situation.

"She requested to see her family." The other said.

Thanos turned to her in irritation. "Explain." He ordered.

She ignored her resentment at being shouted commands like a dog. That was the least of her problems. "For all I knew you'd killed them after I saw them." She said, thanking all the Gods for her new found ability to sound confident when all she wanted was to run scared. "If you want me to play along then I need daily reassurances that they're alive."

Instead of the anger she'd expected he instead looked at her appraisingly. "Hmm not as stupid as your coming her would have led me to believe. It is a shame there is already a plan in place for you, you would have done well as one of my workers."

She had an image of her suddenly in her mind, pale blue eyes turned into shining cobalt, a blank expression on her face as she mindlessly carried out his orders. Or worse, her eyes her normal colour. Tortured into loyalty. She shuddered. She would rather die.

A wicked smile appeared on his face. "Rest assured that you soon will." He said icily.

Damn Darcy had forgotten his whole reading minds thing.

Before she could think of anything else he raised his hand in a fist and Darcy's eyes shut as the rod of pain flared through her skull. This time her pain was mingled with someone else's.

She saw as though she were there with them Loki suddenly shutting his eyes in pain. He was in one of the computer rooms where they were now searching for her rather than Thanos.

Her pain felt like a spear had been thrown through her skull and into Loki's.

 _Darcy_ , Loki thought in horror as the pain seared through him. He was familiar with the magical signature of the link. It took all his restraint not to wince as memories of his former anguish crashed over him. Thanos had Darcy...and the sudden knowledge that she would go through the torture he had faced was worse than any of the pain he had ever felt.

Darcy's eyes snapped open to face Thanos who turned to The Other.

"The link with the Asgarian is activer. Report to me later."

"Yes master." The Other hissed, practically bowing.

And then Thanos was gone.

"Lie down." The Other said. "You have permission to talk in this room. It is important he sees you react how you normally would."

Darcy leant back against the uncomfortable metal and as The Other came into view above her she was oddly reminded of films where people were abducted by aliens.

It reached its fingers out and Darcy flinched at the sight of them: long and rotten and spidery. Ignoring her, the Other grabbed at her temples.

Once again her mind left the room but instead of seeing Loki she saw flashes of her last twenty four hours go past her, only for milliseconds but she knew immediately what they were. And then she saw more: Shooting Loki, living in Stark tower, the Asgardian prison, Loki projecting spiders at her, Thor smashing a coffee cup, her applying for the internship, her getting into university and graduating, parties, Izzy's funeral, Izzy smiling and the dimples on her cheeks that Darcy only saw in pictures now, Darcy playing with Izzy when they were eight and memories of them swimming and building sandcastles and rolling in mud and her mom's horror telling her that's not how little girls were supposed to behave...

She gasped and was back in the room. Her head pounded and Darcy wondered if it was a side effect of her flitting in and out of her mind all the time. The Other let go of her temples.

"What was that?" She asked, her breathing quick. She reached her hand up to reach her forehead.

"I will read your mind every day." It informed her. "To ensure you are not planning anything...that was an extended form. To know your phobias and fears. So that anything I perform will be most effective."

Darcy's heart was still racing. "So what? You found out that I hate spiders?"

It made a sound of disgust. "Mortals always think immediately of insignificant things. No. I refer to being alone, unloved, ignored, a failure, rejected...The true fears of your heart, Darcy Lewis."

Darcy gulped at his words. That didn't sound fun. Somehow he made the idea of being locked in a room full of spiders seem appealing.

It reached for her right hand which was rubbing at her forehead and yanked it back to the table, strapping it down with strips of fabric Darcy hadn't even noticed.

She started to protest but sighed and stopped. It secured her other wrist and ankles so that she couldn't move, stretched uncomfortably on the table and staring at the grimy ceiling.

"Those fears will be important...for now however I shall start simply. After all, fear of pain is universal."

And before she could even be scared, pain jolted into her scalp, chasing away all coherent thoughts. It spread along her entire body in excruciating torment. Pain like she had never experienced. It consumed every single part of her until she was aware of nothing but the fire in her skin. She wasn't even aware of the screams being wrenched from her throat until they shattered the air around her.

 

 

"Find her!" Loki shouted at the people working on the computers as he struggle to stay in reality, the visions of her being tortured pushing at the edges of his mind.

 

 

But Darcy was back in the trap of agony and nothing else mattered anymore.

 

 

Darcy lay on the mattress in her cell, staring at the ceiling and unmoving. It was the same position the guards that had carried her back when she'd been unable to move had dumped her in. The spasms that resulted after the pain had ceased had finally stopped but she felt numb, unable to take in what had just happened.

At once the memory of pain was both fresh in her mind and distant, so extreme that she felt she must have imagined it. It had to have happened to someone else, certainly she would never manage to survive that.

But her every breath ached, her every heart beat agony so that she was left in no doubt about what she had just endured.

The guards had thrown something after her but she hadn't had the energy to see what.

 _Come on_ , she thought to herself,  _you have to move. You can't let them win this easily._

Why not, though? Why couldn't she let her mind retreat so that only her body went through the motions?

And yet something in her wasn't so willing to let go of her sanity just yet. It was clinging on despite how much she wished it wouldn't.

Somehow she managed to roll her head to the side and saw that what the guard's had thrown was a granola bar. Her reward for being tortured? Or just the only food she should expect from now on?

She remembered this morning when she would have killed for food. An empty stomach was a laughable pain now.

 _Don't give up_ , that voice in her head urged.

She reached for the bar and to her surprise the pain lessened, dulling from an echo of excruciating pain to a slight throb.

She'd imagined thumb screws and fire but...that pain had been caused by a touch. Magic, she assumed. And if that was what the Other was capable of then what was Thanos? He'd said she wouldn't survive his methods and now she believed him to be right...Loki on the other hand.

The magic hadn't left any scars on her body, just deep ridges on her wrists and ankles where the restraints had cut into her skin as she squirmed.

She tore into the granola bar which scraped her dry throat. In the end all it did was make her hungrier but she had to eat.

Her blood boiled from anger rather than pain. She wouldn't give them the satisfaction of breaking her. She absolutely wouldn't.

She desperately hoped that those weren't famous last words.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Story Of My Life by Automatic Loveletter. I was bored so I made a new cover picture for the fic because my photoshop skills amuse me (although it did look slightly better before I had to crop it). Thanks for reading and reviewing.


	60. You Can't Save Me

Darcy woke as a gentle hand touched her shoulder. The kind gesture was so different to what she'd become accustomed to that it jarred her awake.

Instinctively she scrabbled back defensively, blinking to make sense of what was happening.

A man was crouched in front of her where she lay on the dirty mattress. Recognition flooded through her like a cool wave of relief as she took in the familiar planes of his silhouette.

A weak smile inched across her face, the muscles protesting from weeks without use.

"What took you so long, Frost Brain?" She whispered, her voice cracked and hoarse.

His features came into sharper focus as he leant closer, his hand brushing against her cheek. She unashamedly leant into it, craving affection.

"It was difficult to find you." He said.

"I didn't think you were coming." She confessed, the desperation she had felt since leaving to see him again compelling her to say those honest words.

"I would never leave you." He said. "Are you alright to stand? We must hurry."

She bit her lip uncertainly but nodded. Her arms and legs shook as she tried to lift her weight up, weak from the lack of food and pain they had endured.

Loki reached towards her, slipping his arm around her waist to help her up.

He had to pull her closer to him so that she could lean on him for support. His smell of leather, soap and that mysterious yet heavenly other scent that combined was him. The smell filled her with confidence. Loki was here, she thought. She was safe.

He half aided and half dragged her to the door. He peered out of it to ensure it was empty before they emerged and started to walk down the hall.

Walking grew easier with each step until they were able to move fairly quickly. Loki seemed to know his way well and she was certain it was a shorter walk than any she had taken.

Suddenly he pulled her against one of the walls, holding her up against it, hand over her mouth.

She looked at him in confusion and he silently nodded at the juxtaposing corridor. Darcy turned to see a blue eyed guard walk past.

His hand moved from her mouth to gently push a stray strand of her hair behind her ear.

"I apologise-" He started.

"Don't, it's fine." She interrupted but his hand was still resting against her skin. He was looking at her with a kind of reverence, like he was struggling to believe she was really physically in front of him.

"You have no idea how painful these days were without you." Loki said.

Darcy gave him a pointed look.

He seemed to realise what he'd just said and she managed another weak smile, unable to quite summon the laughter she would normally have had.

"Of course," He corrected. "It was nothing compared to your pain...but watching you go through that...I will kill Thanos."

"Not if I get to him first." Darcy said.

Loki was close to her, one hand still on her waist from where he'd been helping her walk, the other resting against her face.

He swallowed, his eyes sad and desperate. He pulled his gaze away reluctantly, like he wasn't entirely convinced that making out during a rescue mission was a bad idea. To be honest, Darcy was quite up for it too.

His thumb brushed absent-mindedly across her cheek and he leant in. He brushed a brief kiss against her forehead. Darcy shut her eyes, savouring the brief touch.

"The exit is close. You are almost free." He said, his breath on her skin giving her an odd tingling sensation. "There is just one problem."

She tilted her head up to meet his eyes. "What is it?" She asked.

He grinned in a way she'd never seen him before. More than mockingly but cruelly and sadistically and when he spoke it was viciously. "This is an illusion."

 

 

Darcy snapped back into reality, the metal of the table beneath her skin cold. Like the chains of Asgard it refused to take any warmth from her body. The Other removed its fingers from her head. Her breathing was sharp as a pang of regret hit her so violently she winced.

She felt the loss of Loki as sharply as she had the first day of leaving him.

Her longing for him turned abruptly to familiar anger at herself. She was never able to tell it was an illusion. When she was in them she thought how the Other intended her to. Like with that one, she'd forgotten that they had her family and that it was too dangerous for Loki to come.

But surely she should be able to. In films characters always had some small inkling something wasn't right but she never did. Admittedly she couldn't really compare this to fiction but what other sources did she have? It wasn't like she knew anyone, except perhaps Loki, with firsthand experience.

She heard The Other open the door.

"Take her back to her cell." It hissed and left.

She heard footsteps coming towards her of the two guards who had been waiting outside. Lying on the table as she was, it took a few more moments before they came into view.

Her heart froze mid-beat as she saw that one of the guards was Matt.

The other one, mind controlled as she was, started to untie the restraints.

Matt however paused, looking at her with regret. She clenched her teeth and turned away, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of reacting.

A second later he began to tug at the straps on her left ankle. He brushed some of her skin which burned with repulsion and once her leg was free it took all of her self-restraint not to kick him.

Once all of the straps were untied the female guard helped her up. Darcy folded her arms across her chest as she followed the woman out. Matt was following behind though she could tell he was trying to move to be next to her.

She sped up slightly to stop him. Her family would get hurt if she punched him like she was itching to. Heck they'd probably get hurt if she swore at him too, not having permission to speak and what not.

Luckily the walk to her cell wasn't too far and as soon as she was inside the door locked behind her.

Darcy sighed and sat down. Well if there was anything good about Matt being there, it had stopped her from being too upset about the illusion with Loki.

Darcy closed her eyes, trying to fix in it what Loki had looked like. Painful or not it was at least nice to see him.

That was easily the best session yet. She'd had quite a lot of mental ones: seeing Jane die, reliving Izzy's death, watching Loki be tortured and ones even now she didn't want to think about. And of course there was physical pain which made that first day seem like nothing. She'd actually scarred from the last one when she was being lashed with magic. She'd had to take her shirt off for it and her torso was now covered in red stripes which stung like a bitch. It made whipping look ticklish.

No that session wasn't nearly painful enough to qualify. Darcy suspected it was intended to hurt Loki more than her. It would make it look like she was desperate for him to rescue her which would of course make Loki more reckless in attempting it.

 _I swear to God Loki_ , she thought,  _if you try and get me out of here I'll kill you._

She couldn't bear the thought of him being captured and subjected to what she had.

Her eyes scanned the floor. They hadn't thrown food in this time- they only did it once every three or four times- but she'd been in too much pain to move yesterday to eat what they'd given her. The marks had still been bleeding –though they had mostly stopped now- and the crusted blood on her top crackled as she leant towards the granola bar.

Just as she tore through the packaging her consciousness was dragged elsewhere.

 

 

She recognised the observation room on Asgard, gold glittering from every surface. The room dragged up unpleasant memories. The only two times she'd been there were when she'd been arrested and when she'd come for Loki's funeral.

But Loki was there now, striding purposefully off of the bifrost. He seemed so hardened now, like he'd built a wall around himself that no one could penetrate.

It reminded her of how closed off and intimidating he'd been when she first met him.

"Sire," The gold plated keeper greeted, kneeling in front of him. It wasn't Heimdall and as Darcy recalled his fierce loyalty to Thor and Odin combined with his ability to see all, Darcy assumed he'd been trouble.

Yep, she was right, her access to Loki's mind showed him recalling briefly disguising Heimdall and having him sent to cell too.

She wasn't condoning what he had done but she couldn't help but be slightly pleased that he hadn't just killed everyone.

Loki nodded at the keeper who rose. His eyes glittered gold like Heimdall's had but he barely looked like he'd passed puberty. Still, she supposed, in Asgard that hardly meant anything.

Loki strode past him before he could ask questions and Darcy watched as he walked down the bifrost, the rainbow bridge a swirl of colour beneath his feet that Darcy could barely believe was solid.

Asgard looked exactly the same as she remembered it. Any damage done by the elves had been repaired but that wasn't what shocked her. For some reason whenever she thought of Loki becoming king it always involved a destructive battle. She expected Asgard to be a wreck, buildings lying in piles of rubble and people in rags.

Even knowing the truth, the subtlety of Loki's rise to power just seemed to make no sense to her. Whether he'd been controlled or not she always thought the destruction of The Battle of New York kind of hinted at a love of war.

She supposed calculating intellect was a lot more appropriate to the Loki she knew.

To see him walking confidently toward the city was a little jarring. He'd told her that, whilst disguised as Odin, he had publically forgiven Loki and said that Thor had framed him for it all. That was why Thor had been imprisoned.

The public hadn't been too pleased, almost everyone on Asgard preferred Thor to Loki – and when it came to leaders Darcy did too- so to hear that had been upsetting. Still Loki's tale of cheating death twice and having to put up with the 'misplaced' hatred and ill treatment had made him something of a hero even if they would rather have Thor.

When Odin had fallen into the Odin sleep aka Loki stopped impersonating him while the real Odin was in the cell, they'd accepted Loki as the rightful king.

It was too seamless for Darcy to wrap her head around.

Loki was at the palace gates now. The guards bowed before openining the doors.

Darcy sensed Loki's irritation at the gestures. At first they had excited him but now they wasted the time he did not have. The longer he took, the longer Darcy would be in danger.

He couldn't believe that after all his efforts they had got her anyway.

He felt the familiar itch of annoyance. He had told her of the danger and she had left anyway. Was his company really so bad that it had tempted her to risk such a thing? Maybe she had not believed him.

And she had left and they had found her.

 _"What took you so long, Frost Brain?"_ Her words echoed in his mind and his fingers tightened into fists. He walked quicker, navigating the halls he knew so well until he ended up in the dungeons.

Darcy watched, ignoring her guilt that Loki thought she had left him voluntarily. Why hadn't Priya told him?

"Loki." A man in one of the cells said, so much anger contained in the two syllables.

Loki looked up reluctantly, grim satisfaction filling him that he so desperately did not wish to feel right now. And yet he could not resist.

Darcy sensed that the man was disguised but through Loki's mind she saw that it was Odin, dressed just how he usually was and glaring at Loki with pure hatred.

"Father," Loki turned smirking, unable to stop from indulging in a chance to mock the king's current situation. Darcy noticed how Loki was perfectly fine using 'father' and 'brother' when it served a purpose to mock them but as soon as anyone else suggested he was related to them he went off in a raging fit about their betrayal. If Darcy had eyes to roll in Loki's mind they would be going skyward. "How are you enjoying your stay?"

"You know this will not last." Odin told him icily. "One day you will be found out. Release me now and I shall be lenient."

Loki smiled at him but there was only hatred in his eyes. "You mean you will return me to the dungeons? You are well acquainted with them now, tell me, would you choose such an option?"

Odin started to speak again.

"Do stop," Loki asked, rolling his eyes. "It is quite irritating listening to your pleas." Odin looked affronted but Loki continued. "Why you expect me to release you I do not know. Out of some residual affection? Do you recall your reaction to my supposed death? I believe you showed your true colours then."

And Darcy saw the memory in Loki's mind.

 

 

Loki pretending to be a guard standing in front of Odin. "They did find a body." Loki said.

Odin's eyes went wide. "Loki." He said as he realised and for a moment he looked pained.

Loki grinned but as Odin looked to the floor he scowled and she sensed his confusion. "I apologise, sire, I did not realise the news would upset you so. I ought to have been more-"

"No." Odin said, looking up. No tears in his eyes but an obvious sadness. "I mourn for the boy he once was. But that boy has been dead a great while. The man who died on Svartalfheim ought to have been executed long ago."

Loki swallowed, cursing himself for the fact that he was still able to be hurt by the king's words. Though of course outwardly he did not change.

"In that case..." Loki said before blasting Odin with magic. Odin crumpled and morphed into the guard Loki was portraying and where Loki had stood was Odin.

Loki moved to the throne and kicked his father away from him.

"Guards!" He shouted in Odin's voice. They ran through the door and blinked in confusion at the scene in front of him. "This man attacked me. I have managed to knock him unconscious. Take him to the dungeons."

The guards nodded and ran forwards.

 

 

Loki was staring at Odin in the cell with raw hatred in his eyes. "You believe I am better dead than acting against your wishes." He said coldly. "Be thankful I do not share your belief or you would be in worse circumstance than the dungeons."

Loki walked away before Odin could further protest. He avoided looking at the cells, they reminded him too much of Darcy. He never thought he would miss his time in them but at least they were safe from the threats of Thanos.

At last he reached the cell at the end where Thor was sat on a chair against the wall. As he saw Loki he stood up, looking at him like he had when he'd visited Loki to break him out of prison. Like all faith he had ever had in him had gone.

Loki hated that the look hurt him. He stopped in front of the door.

"What is it?" Thor said angrily to him. Darcy recognised it as the hurt of someone who had been betrayed by someone they loved. "You have come to flaunt your current power?"

"No." Loki said calmly, unable to meet Thor's eyes. Now that he was here he was unsure how to go about it. It sickened him to think of the words he needed to say. He was silent a moment. "I need your help." He managed quickly.

Thor looked equally shocked and annoyed. "Why do you believe I would help you after all you have done?"

Loki looked up and the words burned even more. He felt like to say them out loud would make them somehow more true. Yet his eyes locked onto Thor's with a silent appeal. "They have Darcy."

 

 

Darcy broke back to her cell to the sound of her panicked heavy breathing. Oh God. Oh God oh god oh god  _oh god_.

Loki...Loki no. He couldn't come to her. It was too dangerous.

But that wasn't what was causing her hyperventilation. Every single morning the Other read her mind, occasionally informing her that certain thoughts she had had would result in punishment for various family members.

But this? How was she supposed to hide that she had seen this?

She'd- well, not  _loved-_  but  _enjoyed_  the connection with Loki. Her brief insights into his mind were the only connection she had left to him. Now it felt like a curse.

Had Thanos intended this? That they could use her to spy and inform them of any attempts to rescue her.

She couldn't let them know. Yet how could she stop them?

Her stomach twisted as she realised just thinking about stopping them from finding it out would be worth a couple of punches to her family.

The reality of her shitty situation hit her harder than ever and for the first time since her first session she wanted to curl in a ball and cry, to release all her self-pity in the most human way possible.

The sound of the key scraping the lock filled the cell and Darcy's thoughts were cut off with dread. Had they decided that illusion hadn't been painful enough? It had happened before.

The door creaked and Darcy resisted the urge to recoil against the wall.

Instead of The Other, however, Matt stood in the doorway.

At first she was too shocked to react but that quickly turned into anger. Were they purposefully sending him?

"Darcy, come on." He said.

A human voice was something she had longed to hear for a days but now she wished for silence. "You're talking to me?" She asked, her words spiked with venom. "Did they give you permission to do that? Oh wait no, it's just me who has to get that."

Thoughts of her family flew from her mind. Her vented up anger was too much to deny.

"I'm not here for them. In fact, it's kind of the opposite."

Darcy folded her arms. "I'm not buying it. You're their little lapdog, right?"

"Darcy-"

"So how much did they pay you?" She asked, furious.

He shook his head. "Do we have to do this now?"

"How. Much?" She asked again, words clipped as she struggled not to shout.

He sighed. "Enough. Okay?"

"No it is not okay!" She said. "You were my friend, Matt! Someone I trusted. And you've been selling information about me?! Everything was a lie. So tell me, I deserve to know this much at least, how much was my friendship worth to you?"

"It wasn't a lie." He snapped. "I hated it. Every single thing I said and every single time but I had-"

"Had to?" She scoffed. "You lying, self-centred scumbag. You hated telling them? Well that didn't stop you did it?"

"I didn't think you were in danger!" He said.

"Didn't think I was in danger?!" She repeated. "You didn't think talking to some aggressive aliens about me-"

"It wasn't mainly about you. It was Loki."

"Oh and that makes it so fucking better! Not like I couldn't be more than twenty feet from the guy! And you told them stuff about us, didn't you? You didn't think that would put me in danger?" She asked, breathing heavily.

He at least had the decency to look ashamed. "Darcy I'm sorry I really am but you have to believe me, I never thought they'd capture you and do this and I...I'm so sorry. But please, we have to go?"

"Where?" Darcy asked.

Matt blinked in confusion. "Well away from here obviously. You can't tell me you want to stay." Her heart skipped. Escape? But her excitement quickly fled as suspicion took its place. Was this a test? To see if she really would go?

Something inside her mourned for the former trust she had for Matt.

"You know that I can't." She said. "If I do they'll kill my family. I guess you wouldn't know what it's like to do something to keep people safe-"

"Look I deserve this, I do." He said. "I wholeheartedly agree with you. I am the scum of the Earth but we need to go before someone notices. We can get your family on the way."

"Why now?" She asked. "I've been here weeks!"

"What?" A crease of confusion formed on his forehead. "No you haven't."

"Yeah I think I have." She said.

"Darcy, you've been here three days." He said.

No.

No that couldn't be true. She'd had so much...

"Each session lasts three hours and then you have one off." He said.

"No..." She said shaking her head. But it did make sense. She fell asleep almost straight away, worn out by the hell she had suffered through. She could hardly keep track of time when she was asleep.

And it was too much. She collapsed to the floor, unable to stop tears from springing to her eyes until her whole body was shaking with sobs.

"Darcy!" Matt said in surprise at her sudden breakdown. The concern in his voice made it all so much worse.

She was heaving as she was wracked with sobs and she felt a calm hand on her shoulder. She was too upset to even feel embarrassed.

"Darcy," He said gently.

Three days...she had gone through so much and was barely clinging onto her sanity. She thought she'd managed to survive weeks but at this rate she would succumb to madness in days. It was weak. Pathetic. And she was so tired of being helpless.

"Darcy come on," Matt started again and somehow his words managed to cut through the overwhelming sadness.

She jolted away from him like she'd received an electric shock. She did not want comfort from him.

"Stay away from me." She snapped, hastily wiping her tears from her face. Her throat felt raw even though she hadn't been crying for that long.

"Darcy please, I didn't realise quite what was happening until today. I knew they wanted you but I thought it was just as a hostage."

" _Just_ a hostage?" She said, going immediately into her defence of sarcasm. Her anger had made a sudden and relentless reappearance. "Oh well if that's all then it's okay. You fucking prick."

"I deserve all this but we. Need. To. Go." He said, clearly enunciating the latter words like she was a child.

Darcy scowled at him. She was angry at herself for breaking down like that and she was going to vent it on him all she could. "So you agree you deserve it but you don't care? You knew what you were doing was wrong and you did it anyway. How much money was it?"

"Enough." He repeated.

"ENOUGH FOR WHAT?!" She snapped, on the verge of shouting.

"My sister." He said aggressively back.

Not the answer she'd been expecting, Darcy was momentarily dumbstruck. "Wait, what?"

Matt exhaled sharply, looking away. "She's ill, okay? She has cancer and needs this seriously expensive treatment. I needed the money. Darcy you're my best friend, I hated doing it but I...I'm sorry but I would do anything for her. She's only eight and to see her go through this...I'm a bastard for doing what I did but I don't regret it."

Darcy had a sudden memory of Matt's hysterical anger at his family being threatened by Loki. Guilt knotted in her stomach.

"I didn't know." She said softly. Matt was her best friend and she'd never known. God, what a bitch she was. She'd noticed his evasion of personal questions with jokes but...she never thought that was because he had something to hide. A bitch and an idiot...

"No." He said firmly. "No I know that look. You are not feeling guilty. You were right, what I did was low and not excused by this." She saw now the self-hatred in his eyes that she normally found in Loki's. He truly did despise himself for all of this. "Please, I can't let you stay here."

"It's not your choice." Darcy said. "It's mine. And it's the only way to keep them safe."

"But we can get them on the way out!" He protested.

She sighed, it took every ounce of self restraint to refuse his offer of escape. "He said he'd kill one of them if I ever tried to escape."

"You can't stay here." He said.

"I knew what would happen when I decided to come here. Unlike you I was well aware of the pain that awaited me." Darcy said. She managed a weak smile.

"It's okay, Matt. If it lets them live then it's worth it."

"I can't leave you to their mercy." He seemed desperate.

"I do not believe you can change that." Thanos said, stepping into the doorway. Matt span round, eyes widening in horror.

"I was just-" Matt fumbled.

Thanos silenced him with a wave of his hand. "Your excuses are ineffective. I see your true intents in your mind." Thanos shook his head and grinned, blue eyes burning with sadistic pleasure. "I am afraid, Mr Garcia that we will no longer be requiring your services. Your contract of employment is cancelled as of immediately."

Thanos waved his hand and Darcy watched helplessly as Matt went up in flames.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Whiskey In Hell by Anarbor. The temptation to entitle it Burn Baby Burn...yeah yeah I'm a sadistic bitch and I am sorry for the whole yay loki wait no not loki thing at the start...and we come back to me being a bitch. Anyway I hope you liked the chapter despite that and thank you for reading and commenting.


	61. Buckle At The Seams

Darcy was screaming, the shrill sound all that she could hear as smoke filled the room. Matt burned in seconds, his ashes crumbling to the floor leaving only the revolting smell of burning flesh.

Darcy turned to the corner and threw up the meagre contents of her stomach.

She was trembling and crying and screaming all at once.

Smoke filled the room and she coughed.

A hand grabbed her arm. She scratched at it, clawing and pushing so that they let go and she scrambled away to the opposite corner of what was left of Matt.

The guard that had grabbed her came at her again and- still screaming- she bolted out the door, pushing past the guards and the ashes that she could not bear to look at.

Thanos was gone. Later she would suppose he had disappeared as soon as he'd killed Matt but at that moment his absence barely registered. She couldn't think straight.

The guard walked towards her, not quickly but powerfully, leaving her in no doubt that he was prepared to stop her.

Darcy shook her head, sobbing hysterically.

"Please," She begged despite herself as she backed away. Despite her lack of reason at that moment, part of her must have remembered the threat because she didn't think to run.

Someone tackled her from the side, arms wrapping round her waist and lifting her over their shoulder.

"NOOO!" She screamed, pounding their back. She demanded and pleaded to be let go but it was pointless.

The guard carried her down the hall while she continued to fight and cry. The guard that had originally grabbed her followed, their face impassive to all that was happening.

 _Wait,_  she thought suddenly. What if this was all just an illusion? Another way to torture her?

Yes! Yes! That was it! This wasn't real. This was just another example of the sick mind of The Other!

The guard hesitated as she suddenly stopped fighting and she realised his reaction was all too realistic for the explanation she was clinging to. And...the illusions normally finished as soon as the worst happened.

Fresh grief crashed over her. The image of Matt's face just before the flames wrapped around him seemed to be ingrained on her eyes.

The guards dragged her to the room she'd first arrived in. The one carrying her literally threw her on the floor.

The air was knocked out of her lungs and the pain of smashing into the concrete ground helped clear her head a little. She was still horrified but she managed to stop hysterically screaming.

Her bones ached and she felt some of the marks from yesterday- no wait, earlier today? If Matt was telling the truth about the session times.

She winced again at the thought of him.

She heard footsteps and she glanced up to see her family be led in. She couldn't move from the heap she'd landed in. There wasn't a part of her body which didn't hurt.

The Other shuffled into view but the impact with the floor was making the room spin slightly.

"So," It hissed. "You tried to escape."

She glanced at her family who looked petrified. They knew what that meant.

She felt her eyes burn. No. No she couldn't bear more people dying because of her.

"No," She said, her voice quiet and hoarse from her screaming. "No, please, I didn't...please." Oh God she was begging. That was the last of her dignity gone then. It was worth it if she succeeded in saving her family.

"Silence." It hissed.

Darcy managed to choke back her words, staring with pleading eyes at The Other. She doubted it was capable of compassion, otherwise she would not have endured the past days but she could pray for a miracle.

"You attempted to escape. This calls for punishment."

"NO!" Darcy screamed as she commenced to spew pleading words at The Other.

"Enough!" Thanos roared as he appeared.

Darcy swallowed.

"She speaks the truth." He said to The Other. "The informant planned to free her. She refused to leave."

"Yes master." The Other nodded.

Thanos turned to her. "Should you ever be tempted to escape recall how close The Other came to acting."

Yeah like she could fucking forget. Her throat felt raw from screeching at it.

"We must leave." Thanos told The Other who nodded.

Leave? What?

The Other walked over to her.

"Get up." It commanded.

Startled, she rushed to push her aching body up. Every inch of her felt battered and bruised but that was nothing to how she felt emotionally.

The moment she stood The Other grabbed her arm. Again she felt like she'd been flung roughly into darkness. The void had a certain texture and when she was with The Other it felt like sandpaper grating on her skin.

And then she was shoved back out again. She imagined the darkness as a sort of being that was repelled by The Other using it to travel. It definitely preferred Loki. Then again who wouldn't.

Darcy fell over with the force of being ejected from the darkness. The Other let go but Darcy didn't have the energy to lift her head. The marks from earlier had torn and her entire body was stinging as the blood clung her clothes to her skin. She felt bruised from being thrown on the floor and emotionally exhausted from earlier...the screaming and crying had been bad but quick and now she was left with the hollow sadness.

She wished the feeling weren't so familiar to her.

A few minutes later some other sounds of stumbling reached her. Turning her head she saw her family and various guards who all must have been transported.

They were in a different building. The room was huge, a semi-sphere of glass so dirty it let no light in whatsoever. The lights were the long fluorescent kind that Darcy associated with high school. Branching off were corridors, four in total, equidistant from the room.

The last place could have been any warehouse. Darcy couldn't even imagine what this once was but she didn't really care. For her it was simply a new prison.

But she still didn't understand why they had to move.

"The traitor may have released our location before seeking you out." Thanos said.

Darcy stared at him in shock. She hadn't actually been expecting an answer.

Besides, what did it matter if their location was released? Wasn't their whole point torturing her to lure Loki to them?

"Eventually." There was a hint of excitement to the word which sent shivers down her spine. "Not so soon however. Not when you still have so much potential to hurt the Asgardian. And when he comes..." He trailed off. They all knew what they'd do to him.

Darcy narrowed her eyes at him. She'd come to protect her family who she didn't much care for. The thought of them having Loki was unbearable.  _If you touch him,_  she thought furiously,  _I'll kill you._

Thanos gestured to the guard by her family and she heard the sound of a kick followed by a high whimper. Either her mother or Anna. She didn't know because her gaze hadn't moved from Thanos.

She forced herself to think of the lyrics to High School Musical Songs to hide the stream of threats that sprang to her mind.

He must have known why she was suddenly so keen on singing We're All In This Together because she saw the flames in his eyes flare.

"Ignore the schedule. Take her to her next session now." Thanos said.

"Yes master."

Darcy clenched her teeth to stop from shouting or crying. She'd just seen one of her best friends burn to death and they thought they could inflict more torture upon her?

That was the moment she came closest to giving up – entirely- since she first arrived.

If she disobeyed them they'd eventually kill her family and her. Maybe that would be better than being at their mercy.

She remembered something Loki had said long ago. She'd told him he didn't scare her because she didn't fear death and he'd replied that everyone feared it. Maybe he'd obeyed them because he didn't want to die but while Darcy equally didn't want to end it, she also wasn't attached enough to life to want it to continue in this form.

If she died Loki would be distraught. But they wouldn't be able to use her as leverage anymore. He wouldn't go to them or be tortured and he'd be free from them. Really wasn't that the greatest gift her death could bring?

But it was her decision that would decide whether her family lived or died. No one should ever have that choice.

The hallways here were not so confusing. The Other walked her down one straight one with only a single right turn before they reached the right room. Darcy was relieved to see no metal table in there. In fact it was completely empty apart from a hook on the wall.

She followed The Other in and stood waiting for it to tell her what it wanted her to do.

After a moment the door opened and a guard entered.

Darcy looked at The Other in confusion. It had never required a guard before.

It's lips parted into a smile, pointed teeth flashing in her direction beneath the hood that covered its face. After all the time she'd spent with it she'd finally become used to the smell of rotten flesh that it exuded but it still managed to creep her out.

"The Asgardian still sees you as his." The Other said. "It is time to shatter that illusion. You will sleep with this man."

Darcy couldn't stop her automatic bitch-you-are-not-serious face. Nor the words that fumbled from her gaping lips. "Excuse me?"

"You will sleep with this man." The Other repeated though this time there was an edge of warning to his words.

Darcy laughed. "I will  _not._ "

Her eyes flicked to the guard. He was maybe in his forties. Not exactly unattractive but never ever someone she would want to have sex with. And his blue eyes were hard to get past. She liked to think he was a decent man who if he had control of his own mind would be repulsed at the thought of being forced to rape someone. Whilst simultaneously being raped himself because it wasn't like he was consenting either.

"You will or else your family will be-"

"Wow!" Darcy said, mocking wonder as she waved her arms about the empty air. "Look at all the fucks I give!"

"You are making their situation worse."

"No you are not going to fucking blame me for what you are doing. I am doing nothing. I am refusing to have sex with someone.  _You_  are the one ordering their beatings and I've had enough. Fuck you, at this point I really do not care. Kill them. Kill us all. It's preferable." Darcy spat, unable to stop herself once it all came out.

The Other gritted its teeth. "If that is the case..." It turned to the guard. "Force her."

Before she could react, strong arms grabbed her from behind. She struggled but her arms were pinned tight to her sides.

The Other grinned again in victory. "You do not have a choice over your situation. By co-operating you had the chance to ensure your family's safety. You will do as we ask whether willingly or not."

"Why don't you go fuck yourself?" Darcy hissed.

"Now." The Other commanded, nodding to the guard.

He spun her roughly and forced his lips to his mouth. Darcy squirmed in revulsion and managed to get one of her hands free. She bit hard on his lip and let go just before punching him in the face.

His nose broke under her tiny hand and he stumbled back but he was still about three times the size of her. He ran back towards her and she knew instinctively she'd never be able to fight back when he had that kind of momentum.

She collapsed to the floor and rolled out of his way, hoping to surprise him. It wasn't exactly the expected defence style. She jumped back to her feet as he ran to where she'd been standing and gave him an extra shove from behind so he stumbled towards the wall.

He stopped himself, swinging his arm round to grab hers. Her mind flashed back to her first lesson with Matt but his grip was so tight it hurt too much to move it free.

Before she could fight back his other hand was on her neck.

She brought her free hand to the one on her neck and yanked his finger back so that he grunted in pain and dropped his hand. But it wasn't enough to get him off her and he shoved her against the wall. She pushed back but the arm he'd grabbed stung suddenly as he slapped a chain onto it and within seconds she was attached to the hook on the wall.

It was probably easy enough to get free but she couldn't while still fighting the guard off. Sudden fear overwhelmed her and she felt like she'd be sick. The Other had listed her fears but he'd missed a great one. Being at the mercy of someone else.

She almost snorted, she was definitely in the wrong place if that was a fear.

The guard's hands went to her neck again but instead aimed higher, aggressively yanking her face up to him. He used his body to press her against the wall.

Her mind rushed with panicked half –formed plans of defence.

She went for the first one every girl learns.

Her knee went straight into his crotch with all the adrenaline-fuelled force she could manage.

And then he collapsed with a dagger in his back.

Darcy jumped in shock as the coppery smell of blood filled the air.

Her eyes trailed almost in slow motion from the dagger to the hand reaching down to yank it back.

The hand with pale, long fingers that managed to even be delicate when plucking at a dagger. A thin circlet of gold she hadn't seen before wrapped around his wrist but there was no mistaking the familiar leather above that.

"Loki," She gasped, wondering if this were an illusion. But the mere fact she was able to wonder that meant that it wasn't. She was never aware in them that such illusions existed. "What the fuck are you doing here?!" She demanded.

"Rescuing you. Would you rather I left?" He asked, smirk in place. She almost wanted to cry at the sight of it.

"It's a trap, you idiot! They're using me to lure you here." Darcy said, yanking her hand from the chain on the wall.

"I gathered that much myself." Loki said. "It did not stop me coming."

Darcy closed her eyes, unable to fathom that he was here.

Opening them she saw he was watching her carefully. "Loki, you have to know." She said hurriedly. "I didn't leave you out of choice. I had a dream like you said I would and they have my family."

"I know, your friend Priya said when she finally woke." Loki frowned. "Though I still don't understand. You despise your family."

"Not enough to let them die for me." She said simply. "I can't escape or they'll kill them."

Loki shook his head as though unable to understand such loyalty to family. "We can rescue them."

Darcy bit her lip. They could try but if they failed they'd be dead. Then again after how she'd acted earlier they'd probably kill at least one of them anyway.

"Do you trust me?" Loki asked seriously.

Darcy swallowed and slowly nodded. For better or for worse the answer was true.

"Where are they?" He asked.

"Nowhere that you will find them, Asgardian." The Other said. Darcy froze. She'd completely forgotten about it in her shock at Loki's appearance. Apparently Loki had been too concerned with her to notice too.

"And why would that be?" Loki asked, turning to it with contempt. Evidently Loki had only ever been tortured by Thanos and not this creep because there was no trepidation in his words.

"He will find you. He has been awaiting the moment a long time and fi-"

"Loki, give me your dagger." Darcy said.

Loki scowled at her but raised his hand with the dagger in anyway, palm open with the dagger lying on top. Darcy grabbed the handle and stepped forwards.

The dagger felt nice in her hand. It was balanced well and gave her a semblance of power that she'd been missing ever since being used as a torture test dummy.

The Other ran, it's fingers suddenly on her chin. Damn it moved fast and its fingers caused her skin to recoil. It was forcing her to face him, threateningly close.

"You dare-"

"Yes." She said simply, thrusting the dagger into its gut. It hissed and Darcy twisted the weapon, enjoying the feel of its blood pouring over.

She'd never felt particularly sadistic but, Jesus Christ, revenge was sweet. She'd learnt that keeping a weapon in plugs the wound so she yanked it out and The Other's hands grappled at the hole as it collapsed.

Darcy continued to watch for a few seconds as it finally went still and didn't move again.

She turned back to Loki.

"Thanks." She said, holding the dagger back out to him.

He was staring at her, slightly shocked and slightly impressed with his eyebrows pointedly raised as he waited for an explanation. She sighed.

"The Other was the one who tortured me on Thanos' orders. I've been longing to gut that bastard for a while." Darcy said. "Now come on."

Loki took back the dagger, not bothered about the blood that coated it, and slipped it into a compartment in his clothes. He smiled at her. "It was impressive."  
She flung her arms round him, unable to stop herself.

He hugged her back simultaneously gentle and tight; comforting but also protective.

It took every ounce of her strength to stop herself from breaking down in his arms.

"I missed you so much." She whispered like they would be shameful to admit any louder. "And I you." He said. "I will destroy them." He added forcefully.

She could still feel the pressure of the dagger in her hand. She tilted her head up to look at him grimly. "Not if I get there first."

She quickly slipped out from his arms and walked towards the door. He followed, closer than he normally would so that his hand brushed against her. It was like he needed constant reassurance that she was beside him.

She wasn't complaining.

Now that they were out of the room Darcy heard shouting and crashing from up ahead. She glanced worriedly at Loki who returned her gaze with one which said clearly that this was not planned. She broke into a sprint.

They were in the main dome room but they weren't alone. Darcy's mouth gaped as she turned to Loki.

"How..." She started but Loki wasn't there. He'd joined the fray with the rest of the avengers.

How on Earth had he managed to get them all to help? Darcy had been expecting Thor at the most.

Thanos was battling them all at once. Darcy's skin crackled with the force of his power. Besides super strength and immortality and reading minds and everything else he could do he could apparently blast comsic energy from his eyes and hands.

Darcy didn't think anyone would be a match for the avengers but watching them her stomach flipped unpleasantly. This...this would be close.

As she watched, the Hulk turned to smash him only to be blasted back by energy. Captain America seemed to be fighting something no one else could see and Darcy wondered if it was Thanos' psychic abilities causing that. Thor flew at him with Mjolnir only to be punched backwards, Thanos too strong for even the hammer. Hawkeye was firing a variety of arrows- explosive, fire, poisoned (she assumed from the greenish tinge), electric and more- but they merely bounced off his skin.

The Black Widow and Iron Man were nowhere to be seen. Darcy edged against the wall, not wanting to get too close to the battle because she did not possess superhuman abilities.

"Want to explain why you willingly went over to this maniac?" A voice said behind her and she jumped as Tony in full Iron Man armour landed.

"Tony!" She gasped.

"Well there goes my secret identity..." He muttered. Darcy registered his original statement.

"They have my family." She told him.

"I'm supposed to get you out of here." He said, stepping towards her.

"No!" She protested. Darcy didn't know how a suit of armour could look sassy but Stark managed it. "We have to find my family first and get them out of here."

"You know where they are?" He asked.

"Nope and we're wasting time." Darcy ran across the room.

Stark bolted after her but she was focused on the hallway opposite.

She ducked as an arrow whizzed past her ear and jumped over fragments of glass that had rained from the ceiling.

Stark was flying beside her.

"This is your plan?!" He demanded.

Darcy reached the hallway. "In the other place he kept them really far away from me so I'm guessing that's what they'll do this time. There will be guards outside the door."

"How many are there?" Stark asked, looking up at the ceiling.

"Four and a baby." She said.

Stark looked up. "They're on the second floor."

"You have x-ray vision?!" She asked.

"What kind of supersuit would it be if I didn't?" He asked. "Anyway, we're going to take a shortcut."

"Which is?" She asked.

In answer Stark grabbed her round the waist. Darcy gasped but had no time to react before he flew, smashing the ceiling and walls until the next thing she knew they'd come to an abrupt stop in a room full of floating plaster dust from the smashed walls.

Darcy coughed but through the hazy air she could see the shapes of her family.

"All right I can't fly you all so up, come on quickly." Stark said.

Her family stood up, choking on the dust. Ryan started crying.

"What's going on?" Her father demanded.

"I'm rescuing you know move." Stark said.

Darcy ran after Stark as he flew down the hall. Her family were behind her.

Every time they encountered a guard, Stark blasted them away.

When they emerged back in the dome the fight didn't look much better. About the same as before but now Steve was lying on the floor, a bright red puddle slowly seeping out from under his head.

Darcy gulped, hoping he was okay and hadn't got too badly hurt – or worse- because of her.

"I can only take two at a time so I'll come back." Stark said, grabbing Anna who held Ryan in one hand and her dad in the other.

He jetted straight up through the now empty planes in the ceiling.

Her brother and mother were looking at the battle with shocked expressions.

"Are they-" Her brother started.

"Is that Loki?" Her mother asked, startled.

Darcy ignored them, in no mood to answer their questions.

Instead she ran over to Steve. Up close the wound wasn't as bad. The puddle had been spreading rather than growing bigger and the wound to his temple was already healing so that it resembled one that were freshly stitched.

He managed to open his eyes and looked at her questioningly. Distantly she heard Stark return for her other family members.

"Darcy?" Steve asked questioningly.

"Hey." She said, smiling. "Can you move? You're kind of in the middle of the battlefield."

"What?" He said jumping to his feet.

"ENOUGH!" Thanos roared.

Darcy saw a flash of purple before she was sailing through the air. She was dimly aware of Steve holding his Shield in front of her to stop the majority of the blast but it didn't stop her- or any of them- from being thrown backwards.

She slammed into the wall with such force it felt like she'd been hit by a car. She was certain her chest had exploded because she couldn't breathe. She could taste her blood and the smell of it was overwhelming.

Her glasses had been knocked off so her vision was fuzzy but the hit made the room spin anyway. It started to go black at the edges.

All of the avengers had been hit by the blast. Some, like Thor, were slowly getting up but- her heart clenched with certainty- they wouldn't be quick enough.

Loki alone remained standing and armed with only a dagger she saw something she had never seen on his face before: fear.

He quickly made doubles of himself surrounding Thanos.

"You think your primitive tricks will save you?" Thanos laughed. "You should have stayed away, Asgardian."

Thanos shot an arm out and the doubles disappeared as the real Loki scratched at the hands around his throat. Everything else was black now but them.

"Revenge is mine now." Thanos said, a grin unfurling across his face.

They were enveloped in a purple haze and when it cleared it was empty. Darcy was aware of the fact she was screaming before unconsciousness claimed her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Tell Me A Lie by The Downtown Fiction. Thanks for reading and commenting.


	62. Sane Abandoned Me

Darcy was in a tunnel. The walls were rough brick, and a heavy damp smell hung in the air. She wondered for a moment what she was doing there until she saw Loki.

He looked different, his long hair was spiky at the tips and there were lines of stress in his face that she longed to kiss away.

He had to contact The Other, as much as he hated to follow the commands of that thing. It was beneath him but the commands issued were often from Thanos and to disobey him...Loki ignored that thought and pushed his shoulders back. It was only The Other, contacting him was an annoyance, nothing else.

Darcy started as she heard his thoughts. Was this happening now? But no, she realised as she saw the sceptre in Loki's hand and the hard set to his features that this was a memory. Her muscles tightened. A memory of trying to take over Earth.

Darcy wasn't so sure this was something she wanted to see.

She watched as he sat down, holding the sceptre tightly. He took a deep breath. Reluctant to do this but knowing that he had to.

And then they were no longer in the tunnel but in what looked like a throne room. It was definitely space, the rocks were blackish-blue like none she'd seen on Earth and there was no ceiling nor any walls. Yet there were steps carved in the rocks and a stone chair up above.

She saw Loki sat but suddenly there was another Loki, fully armed in his horned helmet and battle armour. The sitting Loki still had his eyes closed and Darcy knew that was the physical Loki, the rest, even being here, was just a projection of his consciousness.

Darcy also knew that it was only the power of the sceptre enabling him to project so far.

And then she saw The Other. She gasped and scrambled back.

Before she could stop herself, she winced. She expected it to start hissing at her that she ought not be witnessing this and that her family would pay for it. That she had to start her next 'session' of torture.

But then memories rushed back. She'd stabbed The Other. It hadn't expected her to. It had thought she was still the meek mouse they had made her. She was sure that was the only reason it hadn't been quick enough to stop her. Apparently blatantly asking for Loki's dagger didn't take away from her element of surprise.

"The Chitauri grow restless." The Other hissed.

Loki had to stop himself from glaring. He did not particularly care what the Chitauri were doing so long as they followed his orders when the time came. "Let them go at themselves." He said in what he believed to be a polite way of saying that he didn't care. "I will lead them into the glorious battle."

"Battle?" The Other spat derogatorily. "Against the meagre might of Earth?"

"Glorious, not lengthy." Loki clarified. "If your force is as formidable as you claim."

He knew immediately he had succeeded in infuriating The Other. "You question us?" It growled. "You question Him?" Loki swallowed, his only physical reaction to the statement. No. He would never do that. It would be idiotic. "He who put the sceptre in your hand? Who gave you ancient knowledge," Yes, he'd demonstrated his ancient knowledge well. "and new purpose," As a knife sharpener. "When you were cast out, defeated?"

Loki had been looking everywhere but at The Other but at this he furiously snapped his head at it. "I was a king!" He snarled. "The rightful king of Asgard. Betrayed."

The Other smiled, it enjoyed irritating Loki as much as Loki enjoyed annoying it. Loki hated it for its association with Thanos and it hated him for the fact he was needed by Thanos for something The Other could not provide.

"Your ambition is little," It mocked. "Born of childish need. We look beyond the Earth to greater worlds the Tesseract will reveal."

He had only just managed to secure Earth in the deal. He'd managed to convince himself he was willing to do this that way, and wasn't being blackmailed into acting. That would be pathetic, something he swore he would never be again.

And he would be a good king, he knew. A benevolent God to a race who were in strong need of one. The humans would probably drive themselves to extinction if they were not led out of their brutality.

Yet, the Other's comment still riled him. It made him seem so petty and insignificant yet without him the plan would fail. "You don't have the Tesseract yet." Loki stated.

With speed even he could not match, The Other ran to him, hand clawed and aiming at his face. Loki instinctively raised his sceptre and The Other hesitated.

"I don't threaten." He continued. He used his reasonable tone that was the only aspect of his former reputation of the silvertongue that had aided him here. Thanos did not care for his flattery but would occasionally listen to reason. "But until I open the doors," Loki continued, determined to remind the Other of his crucial role in this plan. And to ensure he had the army, some power he had long been denied. "Until your force is mine to command, you are but words."

"You will have your war, Asgardian." The Other said before glaring menacingly. "But if you fail," Loki sickened, not needing a reminder of the threat that lingered in the back of his mind. "If the Tesseract is kept from us, there will be no realm, no barren moon, no crevice where he cannot find you. You think you know pain?" He added in an icy voice. Yes. Loki very much thought he did. "He will make you long for something as sweet as pain."

The Other lunged a hand forward and momentarily Loki saw Thanos instead and cringed back. As The Other touched him his consciousness was sent back to Earth.

He stayed with his eyes closed, trying to slow the shamefully terrified beating of his heart. He had to succeed, he knew. Failure was...unthinkable.

His whole being burned with the memory of the excruciating pain he had endured. He opened his eyes. He had to get the tesseract to work. Whatever it took.

 

 

Darcy woke with images ingrained in her mind and words echoing through her skull. She saw Loki and Thanos disappearing in a haze of magic.  _He will make you long for something as sweet as pain._

She gasped, sitting bolt upright. Her heart was hammering.

"Darcy!" Someone said.

"Loki." She panted. "Loki, we have to get him. We can't leave him. Ohmygod Loki. I have to-"

"Darcy," A concerned voice said gently, a comforting hand placed on her shoulder. "Calm down, we're working on getting him now but you have to stop panicking."

Darcy blinked a few times, focusing on the person speaking. Jane.

An illusion. She closed her eyes tight.

"Darcy?" Jane asked worriedly.

This didn't make sense, she'd had an illusion with Jane. She'd had no control of her body and had been forced to do nothing but watch as her own hands caused heinous torture to her friend.

Why would they let her think she was safe with Jane? It would sting, yes, but really in comparison to what she had endured...

They wouldn't, was the obvious answer.

And she'd escaped them, she suddenly recalled.

So this was real.

She opened her eyes and gave Jane a sheepish look, embarrassed by her actions.

"Sorry," She started. "I guess I-"

Jane held a hand up to stop her. "No don't apologise it's perfectly acceptable given what you've gone through."

Darcy hugged her arms round herself.  _What you've gone through_. She hadn't wanted them to know. She knew that that was obviously impossible but she couldn't keep from wishing that she'd managed to keep it secret. The look of sympathy on Jane's face was horrible. She wanted to pretend it hadn't happened.

She looked round the room to stop from answering Jane. She was in what looked like a private hospital room. It looked like a bedroom you'd find in a five star hotel but medical equipment littered the room.

Now that Darcy thought about it, her head felt a little sore and when she raised her hands to her head she found she had bandages wrapped round both her wrists and her temples.

"What happened?" Darcy asked Jane.

Jane bit her lip. "What do you remember?" She asked hesitantly.

"The avengers fighting Thanos." Darcy answered. Jane looked relieved. Maybe she thought Darcy had repressed all memories of being their captive and would have to have it told to her. "And he sent out a blast of power that knocked me into a wall and I saw him leaving with Loki just before I blacked out."

"Well you were lucky," Jane seemed to realise what she had just said as she quickly added: "I mean, injuries wise. A knock that powerful could have killed you though we would have expected at least a few broken bones. You had some bad bruising on your ribs but...there was internal bleeding in your head so they had to operate. You'll have a scar."

Darcy wanted to laugh at the thought of a physical scar being all she would have to worry about.

"You're on some painkillers at the moment. There's a cream for the bruising and...um there's a salve you have to reapply every hour for the...uh...whip marks." Jane struggled to say.

Darcy winced at Jane's knowledge of her injuries. "It wasn't a whip." She told Jane to reassure her. It wasn't completely a lie because it wasn't a whip but she still felt dishonest because she made it sound less painful. In truth the magic had seared more painfully than she thought any whip was capable of.

"Oh Darce," Jane said flinging her arms round her. Darcy tensed, not hugging back because she knew that if she did she'd probably start crying. She wasn't ready to face the reality of her ordeal, she just wanted to forget it.

"I'm okay, Jane." Darcy said. "But Loki won't be. We have to help him."

Jane hesitated. "I'm...not so sure what's going to happen about that."

"WHAT?!" Darcy demanded.

Jane held her hands up in surrender. "Hey I'm just saying we haven't discussed it yet. Most people were injured in the fight so we're making sure everyone is okay first."

"What and Loki doesn't count? Injured doesn't even cover what he's going to be." Darcy said.

"I know. You're the last to wake up. You were out 24 hours. We were waiting for you before we discussed it." Jane said.

"Great." Darcy said, moving out of the bed. "I'm up. Let's discuss."

"No." Jane said sternly, stopping Darcy from swinging her legs out from under the sheets. "You need to get better first."

"Better?" Darcy demanded. " _Better?_  I don't have time for this Jane, I went through hell." Jane flinched. "But they are going to drag Loki through the pits of Tartarus in comparison if we don't help him. I can't get better knowing that's happening."

"But you're in pain." Jane said.

Darcy actually laughed. She'd feel bad about it later but right now she didn't care. "Believe me, this is fucking pleasure compared to the last few days."

"Darcy please stop." Jane said, looking like she was about to cry.

Darcy's gut twisted with guilt. "Look, I'm sorry and I know you mean well but this is more important."

Darcy pushed herself out of bed and walked past Jane. She was luckily not in a hospital gown but instead in a pair of silk pyjamas. They definitely weren't hers- she slept in cotton shorts and tank tops. Well- shorts, tank tops and her infamous cookie monster pyjamas...

"Where are we anyway?" Darcy asked.

"Stark Tower." Jane answered, sounding defeated. "We didn't have time to get your stuff so Pepper leant you some clothes."

They must have been a gift or something she'd ordered online and forgot to return because there was no way clothes that fit her chest would also fit Pepper.

"Is there anything that isn't silk?" Darcy asked.

"Can you not wait for the Doctor to come back?" Jane pleaded.

Normally Darcy would comply in such a reasonable request based on her friend's concern over her. However Loki's life was at stake.

"No." She snapped.

"In the closet." Jane sighed.

Darcy didn't have time to rummage through them so she grabbed the first clothes she found- jogging bottoms and a plain white t-shirt.

"What happened to my family?" Darcy asked as she pulled the clothes on.

"They're safe." Jane answered. "In shock and all in need of medical treatment. None too serious. No doubt they'll want to talk to you." She added cautiously, probably expecting Darcy to snap that she hated them.

"I will talk to them after Loki is safe." Darcy answered.

"Darce, why did you go to him?" Jane asked softly.

"You know why." Darcy replied.

"But you hate your family." Darcy was tired of people saying this like it was a reason for her not to help them.

"Jane do you hate anyone enough to let them be tortured and killed for you?" Darcy asked.

"But what about us?" Jane demanded. "Did you even think about how we'd all react when we found out what happened to you? And what if we hadn't come to you? What if they'd killed you? What then?"

"Then I would have died with the knowledge that I had at least saved my family from worse harm." Darcy snapped. "I know you care for me but acting like your feelings are more important than people's lives is selfish. I have enough of that from Loki."

She froze at her last words. She shut her eyes to stop from thinking of him. It wouldn't help to know all the things happening to him.

 

 

Thanos was laughing. The sound chilled her to the bone. Loki was panting, each breath seeming to cause him effort like he'd physically exhausted himself.

His leather was gone, instead he was in the green shirt he wore under his armour and trousers. The clothes were torn and bloody. Loki was hanging vertically, hands manacled to a chain attached to a ceiling she couldn't see. His feet were chained too but hanging slightly off of the floor so that his whole body weight was carried on his wrists. The manacles themselves were covered in harsh looking runes, in no language she knew. It was something older and more powerful than Asgardian which stopped him not only being able to use magic but also caused him considerable pain as well, like they were lined with barbed wire.

His head hung forwards so that his face was obscured beneath knotted black hair. If it weren't for his chest rising and falling and the haggard sound as he struggled to breathe Darcy would have wondered if he were alive.

Even knowing it was just her observing this, she still tried to run over to him. She wanted to tell him she would get him out of there. That he would be okay.

Right now that meant she would be telling him nothing but lies.

His breathing slowed and he tossed his head back, flicking his hair out of his face. His face looked drawn and hollow and Darcy wondered just what had happened to him in the last twenty four hours to make him look like this.

Despite all that, however, he smirked.

"Is that all you have?" He asked.

Darcy wanted to hit him. You do not goad on the guy torturing you, that was like the number one rule of being tortured.

"I have yet to properly begin, Asgardian." Thanos grinned. "You destroyed my army of chitauri. I wish to savour your demise."

"The chitauri were not the skilled army you promised. Their fall was not due to me." Loki said, sounding bored like he was repeating all this. If it weren't for the strain in his voice that told her even speaking was causing him considerable pain she could almost have believed he truly did not care about his current position. "As for my demise, which one would that be? Falling from Asgard? Being defeated by the Avengers?"

"Mere inconveniences compared to what you are about to endure. You ought not to have come. You are weak. Succumbing to foolish emotions for this." He said pedantically.

Darcy expected to hear in Loki's thoughts that he agreed. She expected deep regret for being weak enough to form affection. Instead she found that he believed it was worth it. They made him vulnerable but he could not remember ever being as happy as he had been while with her. Even with the situation, Darcy's heart soared.

"She is safe." Loki told him. "I care not what you do to me now."

Thanos looked disbelieving. "You traded your life for the freedom of a mere mortal."

Loki grinned the kind of wide smile she'd only seen a handful of times. "The deal of a millennia. I'd make it every time."

Thanos glared at him. "We shall see Asgardian, if I cannot change your mind."

 

 

The pain was so intense that she was jolted back into her own body. Thanos had been right, she wouldn't have survived that. Her consciousness could not even remain with Loki as he endured it.

"...possible head trauma. She shouldn't have blacked out." A deep voice explained. She was lying on the bed again.

"I'm fine." Darcy said.

"No you aren't." Jane said. "You collapsed."

"Which doesn't make sense." The doctor explained. "I have examined your head wound. It is better than expected, I would normally remove the bandages and discharge you with a prescription of painkillers at this point."

She didn't want to explain the complexities of magic to the doctor. "Um, can I have a few moments alone with Jane, please?" She asked.

The doctor looked confused but nodded and left the door.

"I didn't collapse because of an injury." Darcy rushed to explain before Jane could comment. "Thanos created a magical bond between Loki and I so that he could see me being tortured." Jane winced at the word but Darcy ignored her. "It also works in reverse, sometimes I saw him- like when he went to Thor. That was just me seeing into his mind. He's being tortured and I don't know how much time we have. Please, we have to go discuss it with everyone."

Jane hesitated then nodded. "This is all way over my head. We need to talk to them, come on. They're waiting upstairs."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from The Sharpest Lives by My Chemical Romance. Updating today because I'm busy turning eighteen tomorrow. Hope you enjoyed the chapter, thanks for reading and commenting.


	63. Used To Feeling Useless

"Darcy!" Thor boomed, his strong arms wrapping around her before she could prepare herself. A few months ago she would have savoured such a hug, after all his arms were quite possibly his best feature. Now however she found herself tensing, not quite used to affectionate contact.

"Hey." She smiled weakly. The corners of her mouth strained with effort and she suspected it looked more like a grimace.

"How're you feeling?" Cap's voice asked with concern.

_Like I've been covered in paper cuts, rolled in salt and dipped in lemon juice. And that's not even including the fact that the guy I love is currently going through far worse than that margarita of pain.  
_

"Not too bad." She said, knowing they wouldn't believe anything better.

Thor released her and gestured to a spare seat which she promptly fell into. The walk up here had weakened her.

"How about you?" She asked, remembering the pool of he had last been lying in.

They were sat at a long conference table, the walls light and clean and blue. It felt worlds away from what she was familiar with.

"I've felt better." He winced. "But I've also felt a lot worse."

Darcy looked round. It felt so odd to be looking at all her friends like she'd never left and she found herself noticing details she never would have cared about.

Like the way steam was rolling off of Stark's coffee in wispy tendrils, wavering in the air before disappearing from sight. The hazy shadow of Banner's pen as he absent-mindedly rolled it in his fingers. The sound of their breathing as it filled the still air around them.

All these little things that made the whole thing seem a little more real and tangible. That made her aware that she was here, a part of it and not just an observer.

All in all, they looked a little worse for wear. Steve had one of those white plasters on his head that were supposed to act like temporary stitches. Natasha's hand looked like a child had swirled together purple and yellow paint to form the patchwork of bruises that decorated her skin. Banner's skin was pallid and sickly looking though Darcy supposed it wasn't surprising if he'd been kept unconscious for months. The others sported dark shadows under their eyes and there was a grim set to everyone's faces.

Not quite a joyful reunion.

"Do you want anything?" Pepper asked. "A drink? Notepad?"

Darcy started to politely to decline but the thought of coffee was slightly intoxicating. She felt hollow and empty and starved of the stuff for weeks.

"No problem." Pepper said. "Jarvis a latte for Darcy please, three sugars."

Darcy smiled, Pepper had remembered how she liked it. And Jarvis meant they were in one of Stark's buildings. It made sense and explained why she was currently wearing Pepper's clothes and had woken up in such nice surroundings.

A coffee machine in the corner stirred and Jane fetched it for her before returning to the seat next to her.

"Okay, everyone's here. Let's get started." Steve said.

"First things first." Natasha said. "Do we rescue Loki?"

Darcy choked on the coffee. " _What?_ "

"He is my brother." Thor responded immediately, an edge to his voice that suggested no one ought to dare argue with him. "Of course we do."

Natasha held her hands up in a hear-me-out gesture. "I'm just saying we should consider this first. For one, it saves us getting rid of him as ruler of Earth. He did get himself into this mess, it could be argued he should get himself out of it. Thanos just wants Loki, why provoke him further and make him want more?"

"I shall be going whether you choose to accompany me or not." Thor said grimly.

"No one here is arguing that Loki is the best Asgard or Jotenheim or wherever the hell he is actually from has to offer." Steve said. "But we can't leave him to Thanos. No one deserves that, him included."

"And not to mention," Stark said. "Thanos orchestrated the Chitauri attack. I think he'll be coming back for us once he's done with Loki anyway."

"And he should be held responsible for that attack." Bruce interjected.

"And his treatment of Darcy." Jane added.

"All for rescuing Loki and dealing with Thanos ourselves?" Natasha asked.

A loud chorus of 'aye's echoed in her ears.

"All opposed."

Silence.

"Good," Natasha said. "I completely agree I just figured we had to at least discuss it."

Darcy's breathing became a little easier. She'd never even considered the possibility that they would not care to rescue Loki. She knew they didn't exactly like him- she snorted,  _talk about an understatement_ \- but she'd assumed the threat of Thanos was just too big.

"Which brings us to our next problem." Clint said. "Thanos."

All heads turned to Thor.

Thor breathed deeply. "He is of a race known as the Titans from a moon of Saturn. The people are generally peaceful and they are eternal."

"Eternal?" Tony asked. "Great..."

"General characteristics of their race," Thor continued like there had been no interruption. "Are extreme strength, endurance, reflexes and agility. Their skin is nearly invulnerable, particularly to heat, cold, electricity, radiation, toxins and disease. They can survive indefinitely without food or water. Their minds are also invulnerable to most forms of psychic attack."

"Well that all sounds awful." Steve sighed. "What about Thanos himself?"

Thor shook his head. "The Titans do exist, this we know. Thanos however is part of mythology even to them. I have no way to ascertain whether what I know is remotely true."

"The same could be said for you." Jane nodded at him. "We may as well know anyway, it helps to be prepared."

"Very true." Thor nodded. "According to legend he is a son of the original Titan colonists, born misshapen and monstrous. He grew greedy, obsessed with obtaining soul gems which explains why he was so concerned with the tesseract. As far as I know, he was never able to obtain any. He was also cursed by Death at some point though I cannot recall why."

"Cursed by Death?" Clint asked. "That's good, right?"

Thor looked at him grimly. "Cursed by Death so that he could never die."

Groans echoed around the table, hopeless expressions on their faces. Loki was the only enemy that they had faced together but at least he had had weaknesses.

Thanos was like a villain from a badly written story- no limitations to the point of being unrealistic.

"What about his specific powers?" Steve asked.

Thor shook his head. "I am not sure."

"Laser eyes," Clint said, counting them on his fingers. "That cosmic energy stuff from his hands, being able to disappear like he did with Loki...am I missing anything?"

People shook their heads.

"He's psychic." Darcy said.

"Oh yeah, controlling people's minds." Clint said, adding another finger.

"No," Darcy said, unable to meet their eyes. This was stuff she would only know from her ordeal and she didn't want to see sympathetic looks. "It's more than that. He can read minds, seemingly without effort. That's probably why it was so hard to fight him, he knew exactly what you were going to do. Oh and he also made my friend spontaneously combust."

She aimed to throw that last part in there casually so she wouldn't think about it but her voice hitched and she had to choke back a sob. Jane's comforting hand patted her shoulder.

Darcy squeezed her eyes shut to stop any tears from forming and when she opened them everyone looked slightly awkward.

"All right so how do we take him down?" Natasha asked to fill the silence.

"We can't kill him," Steve said. "So we have to capture him."

"How?" Stark asked. "He's a god even to our gods." He gestured to Thor.

"No one is unstoppable." Thor replied.

After a few moments of silence Bruce spoke. "Maybe we should come back to this. How do we find him first?"

To Darcy's surprise, Thor turned to her.

"Loki had managed to trace magic on Earth. Thanos is undetectable to the gatekeepers yet Loki discovered a way. When Thanos transported you to a new location we were able to find him. He also mentioned you had been bound to him." He said.

Darcy didn't know what to say so nodded.

"We may be able to trace him using the connection. If it is still active, that is." Thor added as afterthought. "He may have broken it when he captured my brother."

Darcy swallowed. "It is." She managed. Thor must have noticed the way she said it because his eyes chilled. Clearly he was as unhappy as she was at the thought of someone torturing Loki.

What was she thinking? Of course he was. It should hardly have come as surprise! Thor had broken Loki out of Asgard's prison despite the avengers working so hard to get him there because Odin had been torturing him. And that was barely a scraped knee compared to this.

"Then we can find him."Pepper said.

"And we'll storm it like we did before?" Stark asked. "That worked pretty well. We can take down Thanos while someone goes to get Loki."

Everyone nodded. "He shouldn't be hard to find at least," Steve added. "Loki will probably be weakened though."

"I will get him." Thor offered.

Darcy looked round in shock. Did they really think it would be that easy?

And then she was hit with the realisation of how pointless this was. Loki was being tortured right this moment and they were debating how to get him? They needed to do it, not talk about it. And what was the point in planning anyway? Thanos would know what they intended to do the moment they entered.

"It won't be that easy." Darcy said.

"Why not?" Stark asked. "Well I mean, aside from Thanos being nearly invincible."

"He'll have Loki hidden somewhere." The knot in her stomach tightened. "And it won't be a case of just finding him, we'll have to break him out of wherever it is he's being kept."

"Wait." Jane said, turning to her. "'We?!'"

"Yeah..." Darcy said, frowning at her friend and gesturing round the room. "There are quite a lot of us."

"Yes," Jane said pointedly. "There are quite a lot of  _them_."

Ahh. Now Darcy knew what Jane meant.

"Yes we." She said almost angrily. "I am going with them."

"Don't be ridiculous." Jane said. "You'll get hurt. And you're already hurt, you need to get better. You aren't one of the superheroes."

"No but I can't sit by and not know what is happening. And in case you are forgetting, I was the one who was Thanos's fucking slave. Forced to do whatever he told me to for fear my family would get hurt." Jane winced and for once Darcy was glad to see it. If being brutal was the only way to get Jane to stop trying to prevent her from going then so be it.

"Slave?" Jane asked. "But I thought-"

"Just torture? Just being held captive?" Darcy asked. "He can read minds Jane. I wasn't allowed to talk unless given permission. He punished my family just for me  _thinking_  something he didn't approve of. If I was told to get onto a table so they could torture me I did it. If I was told to take my shirt off so they could lash me with magical whips do you think I tried to resist? Do you think I was given the satisfaction of at least knowing I was trying to fight back?"

And once she had started she couldn't stop.

"And that wasn't even the worst of it. Not by a long shot. So yeah, I might not have been scrubbing floors and calling him master but there was no freewill either."

Jane's face was red with the effort not to cry.

"So I will be present when you shred that bastard to pieces." She was speaking to the room at large now and everyone seemed to be just as shocked at what she was saying. She felt a bit bad, she was hardly the only one in the room forced to do things. Tony had been held captive by terrorists, Natasha was forced to work for the Russian governments, Clint had been Loki's mind slave and those were just the ones she knew about.

"And for more than just my own vindication." Darcy carried on. "Because I have to help get Loki out of there. And you need me to do that because you're all thinking Loki will be in the same position I was and you're wrong."

"How so?" Steve asked, remaining practical throughout her rant.

Darcy exhaled softly. "I had to obey or they would hurt my family. Loki is under no such obligation. True they will hurt him but they are going to do that anyway. 

And he's no idiot, he knows that. He's not going to try to go along with what they say in the hope they'll be kinder. He will be fighting back with all that he has."

"How does that change anything?" Steve frowned.

"Because unlike me he'll be trying to escape. So they'll have him locked away with so much security it'll make SHIELD look pathetic. He'll be chained up." Of course she already knew that he was but she'd rather they thought that was from her knowing how Thanos works than from a magical connection. "He'll be a lot weaker. And Thanos won't give him a break. It'll just be constant torture because he's been waiting for this for ages so why would he stop? It won't be like it was for me where you can distract Thanos while someone searches for Loki. They will be together."

She took a few deep breaths after speaking so much.

"She's right." Stark said to the others. "We need to take her. Everything she said should have been obvious and we didn't even think about it."

"What?" Jane asked.

"We could manage without you but if you want to come anyway then I don't see why we should." Natasha said.

"And she'll be armed. We'll protect her." Stark said.

No they wouldn't because they would take too long to form a plan when Loki needed rescuing now. She wasn't deluded enough to think she could stop Thanos alone but she figured maybe he'd use her to torture Loki again and Loki would never forgive her but at least if he was torturing her then he wouldn't be physically torturing Loki.

Then again it wasn't like she was going to tell anyone this plan because then they'd lock her in a cell just to stop her doing it.

They then recommenced arguing how to defeat Thanos but Darcy tuned out because the conversation was cyclical and when they took a break they were still no closer to having a solution.

"Hey kiddo, come down to the labs with me, I've got something to show you." Stark said when they decided to meet again in half an hour.

She nodded, too tired to argue. As much as she hated to admit it, Jane was right. She still wasn't entirely better. Her head pounded, her ribs ached with every breath and she was exhausted.

"Are you all right? You look like you're about to collapse." He said as they got into the elevator.

"I'm fine..." She sighed. There was a pause and suddenly they were both laughing.

"Yeah, you sure sound it." Tony laughed.

"I'm just stressed." Darcy said which was a lie. She was the complete opposite. She was  _resigned._  She was going to do this and right now she was just killing time.

"I'd be surprised if you weren't." Stark said. They got out of the lift and walked down the halls. They were familiar and Darcy realised she must have been in Stark Tower, New York. She'd spent weeks in this lab before Loki accomplished what he'd tried to with the Chitauri.

"Okay so I started working on this as kind of a side project when Loki captured you figuring that when we broke you out you'd like to use it on him a few times but unless you're into that sort of stuff," Stark quirked an eyebrow at her. "I'd say that you don't want to do that anymore. But I think even if Thanos is immune to electricity you'll still like it."

He walked into a lab and picked up an object from the side. It looked like a cross between a child's plastic gun and her taser. Like the kind of gun you see in sci-fi films.

"I know how much you loved your taser but that's a little sad so I present to you the Taser Mark Two. It has a core of vibranium so I thought it would work on Loki but it also powers it. That dial on the side changes the strength. Lowest is a small zap enough to make part of the body go numb, largest could probably knock Thor out if not kill him. The core means depending on the strength of the shock it can pretty much go indefinitely without needing charging."  
Darcy gaped. "Dude are you serious? You made this for me?"

"Well yeah," Stark smiled. "You want to run with the big dogs you can't keep using a two-charge taser."

"You. Are. The. Best." Darcy said, taking it and hugging him. True she doubted she'd get much use to her but it meant a lot to her that he'd made it anyway.

"Yeah well I try." Stark said, letting go. "And really, it barely took any time. Though I do have a few ideas for the Taser Mark Three."

"I don't know if the world is ready for that." Darcy said.

"I don't think the world is ready for you with a weapon of any sort." Stark commented. "This could be a big mistake."

"There's even doubt?" Darcy asked but her heart wasn't in the joke. She thought about how she'd normally react. Probably a comment about how she could now be a superhero? Taser girl?

It seemed like it would take a lot of energy to vocalise that however so she remained quiet.

"Yeah will be careful with it, I couldn't make anymore vibranium so I reused the one I had in during the battle of new York. I kept it for sentimental reasons because Loki tapped it with his glowstick and I made a dick joke in response so yeah, don't break it or I'll cry. Oh and there's also this." Stark said, throwing navy fabric at her.

"Uh what is this?" She asked.

"A jumpsuit, it's made of bullet proof fabric, we figured you might need it. Just in case." He said.

"Uh huh..." Darcy said, half of her thinking it was overkill and half of her squealing in delight. "And you stitched it yourself?"

Stark laughed. "Nah it was in a closet at the other base we went to, it's elastic but it's too big for Jane and too small for Pepper so we figured you might want it. It's actually a SHIELD jumpsuit, see the logo? It was for if we ever had to use disguises or whatever."

"Right," Darcy said, not wanting to think why Stark might have a catsuit in his wardrobe. "Well thanks. Anyway I have to go find Thor. Do you know where he is?" Darcy asked.

"Jarvis?" Stark called.

"The kitchen on the conference floor with Miss Foster, sir." The AI replied.

"There you go." Stark said.

"Thanks." Darcy said, waving him goodbye and getting back in the elevator. Her new taser secure in the large pockets of the sweatpants.

"...she'll get herself killed." Jane's voice carried down the hall. No guesses who she was talking about. "I can't deal with that. Not after..."

"I will not let anything happen to her." Thor promised. "She was right, however. It is she who best knows how Thanos works. Her experience whilst horrendous could prove invaluable."

Woo go Thor!

Darcy was tempted to carry on listening but she figured it would be better to interrupt Jane before she could voice more concerns.

They greeted her as she entered like they hadn't just been talking about her.

She needed to leave as soon as possible to get to Loki so she cut straight to the point. "I was just wondering if you'd be able to show me how we could trace Loki?"

He looked slightly surprised. "Of course, though may I ask why?"

"Well I figured we may as well check that it works because otherwise we'll have to think of something else and I'm also kind of curious."

"Very well." Thor said.

Jane was watching her suspiciously.

Thor led her back down the corridor and into a separate room where some computers were set up. Jane decided to come too.

Thor looked uncertainly at the computers. "It is a primitive form of technology, I am uncertain over how to use it."

"Here," Jane offered, handing Darcy a band with wires attached that looked like something people in films wore when they woke in a space ship after being abducted.

Darcy attached it to her head.

"It might...you might see him." Jane said.

Darcy bit her lip but nodded. Unpleasant but necessary.

Jane flicked a switch and Darcy was in Loki's mind, feeling the pain of himself hanging from chains. The burning of the inflicted pain. Pain like he had never felt.

When he had last been tortured by Thanos the pain had made him pray for death. This time it chased all rational thoughts from his mind so that all that remained was the awareness of his nerves on fire. Thanos hissed something and he flinched. He grit his teeth but nothing could have prepared him for the waves of anguish.

Darcy was back, shuddering. Her head was on fire. A millisecond spent under Loki's torture and she felt wrecked.

"Darcy?" Jane asked in concern.

"Did it work?" Darcy asked.

Jane hesitated then nodded. "Redding, Connecticut."

Connecticut. The state she'd lived in most of her life. Somehow that felt personal.  
It was almost like the universe was telling her to go to him. But there was something she had to do first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Tie Me Down by Every Avenue. Thanks for all the birthday messages and thanks for reading and reviewing.


	64. On Our Darkest Day

Loki was being tortured. She shouldn't be here. She should be hurrying towards him. She should be running.

She should not be pacing the halls of Stark Tower.

And yet here she was.

_Come on Darcy, you can do this.  
_

She was wringing her hands walking up and down the hall. She had to do this. They deserved an explanation.

Heck they deserved much more than that and yet here Darcy was, unable to give them even that much.

Because she had said goodbye to her family long ago but instead she had dragged them into this mess. Because she'd been an idiot. She'd never thought they could be in danger.

And they'd paid for her ignorance.

She owed them at least an explanation for why they had been held captive but she didn't think she was in a mental state to handle them shouting at her, their anger over being put in that situation.

She sighed. The second round of Thanos debating had been just as unsuccessful as the first. She should at least get something done today.

She forced her legs to move down the hall. She had at least had one stroke of luck, their medical treatment was finished and they'd been given an apartment in the complex to share for the time being so she could at least talk to them all at once.

She hovered outside the door, hesitating before biting the bullet and just knocking.

Her stomach clenched.

The door knob turned and she resisted the urge to run.

"Yes?" Her mother said as she opened the door.

Then she saw who it was and froze.

The moment seemed to last forever in which Darcy imagined a hundred situations involving her mother screaming for her to leave, slamming the door in her face or resorting to physical violence.

What she wasn't expecting was the sudden weight of arms around her neck as her mother clung onto her.

She even surprised herself by automatically hugging her back.

"Darcy, Darcy, Darcy," Her mom repeated. Sudden dampness on her t-shirt told her that her mother was crying.

"It's okay," Darcy was telling her mom, for what she did not know. She was still confused but she was happy too. She had never imagined such a moment, never even longed for one but that didn't change the fact that it was nice.

"I'm so sorry." Her mom was saying.

"You?" Darcy asked shocked. "Why are you sorry?"

"Everything." Her mom sobbed. "The way I handled Izzy, never being there for you, always expecting more...I am so sorry, Darcy. You were and are the best daughter anyone could ask for. I am so sorry. So sorry."

And this time Darcy properly hugged her back and to her shock found she was crying too.

"It's okay, mom." Darcy said. "It's fine, I love you. It's fine."

"I love you too." Her mom said.

"Darcy?" Her dad asked behind her mother. She looked up, once again scared that she was about to be shouted at.

Instead he joined the hug so that she was sandwiched between her parents.

Eventually they detangled themselves and she found herself on the sofa with a cup of tea. Her mom next to her, hand on her knee.

She couldn't believe it. An apology? And how could Darcy possibly hold it against her after all that had happened?

"I'm sorry." Darcy said to them, the rest of her family were on the other sofas.

"Sorry, dear?" Her mom looked shocked. "Whatever for?"

Darcy had to stop herself from gaping. "For being the reason you all ended up captured! If it weren't for me you would never have had that happen. You should hate me."

"Why would we possibly hate you?" Her dad asked.

"Darcy," Anna added, Liam nodding along with her. "If it weren't for you coming we would have been dead. And you did what they told you...we knew all those horrible things they were doing to you and you did it to keep us safe. How could we hate you for that?"

"We all agreed," Her mother said. "You should have ignored us. Our lives were not worth what they were putting you through, darling. Watching it happen..."  
Darcy almost started crying again. They forgave her. More than that, they were thankful of her. Even Anna and Liam whose son had been imprisoned with them. Darcy noticed her family were sporting bruises and bandages. All looked a lot skinnier than they had when she had last seen them as well though not quite malnourished.

"There is one thing though..." Her mom started. "Why?"

Darcy sighed. Her family had been pawns in this game, used and manipulated without even knowing why or by who. She didn't even know where to start.

"Okay so you know Thor?" She asked.

Her family nodded though seemed somewhat confused.

"He visited Puente Antiguo a few years ago. He's dating Jane." Darcy said.

"Jane? Dr Foster?" Her dad asked.

"Please can I finish? This whole thing is just so weird that stuff like that will seem normal." Darcy said.

Her family nodded.

"Okay so he's dating Jane. Only he left and didn't return until The Battle of New York last year which was orchestrated by Thanos. Only he tortured this guy into doing all the leg work on Earth. Now this guy has had so much shit-"

"Language!" Her mom interrupted and Darcy bit back a smile.

"Sorry, so much bad stuff happen in his life that this barely scratches the surface. Obviously the battle failed and this guy was dragged back to his home planet by Thor." Darcy sighed. "I told you Loki was named after the Norse God of Mischief. The truth is Loki is that God, in the same way Thor is the God of thunder."

Darcy had to silence the cries of surprise (and her mom's 'I had a Norse God round for dinner and served him  _ham_?!') because she didn't want to miss anything.

"Loki is Thor's adopted brother. He was also the one tortured into leading the battle on behalf of Thanos." Darcy explained.

"LOKI LED THE CHITAURI INVASION?!" Greeted her from practically everyone. Darcy shushed them.

"He was sentenced on Asgard. The king is his adopted father and also possibly the worst parent in the universe. His punishment was daily torture inflicted by the king himself." They looked horrified. "Yeah I know, what kind of parent does that. So Thor broke him out and sent him to Earth, namely where we were because like I said, he's dating Jane.

"But Loki never told anyone he'd been tortured into acting. Until now no one even knew Thanos existed, everyone just assumed Loki wanted to take over the world for little more than that." Darcy decided to leave out the part about Loki actually wanting to rule a planet and just make it sound like he was a perfectly innocent God forced into acting. "So when Thor freed him he thought he was freeing a criminal so he put some safeties in place, one of them including a binding charm on the first person he touched who just so happened to be me.

"So he was forced to live with us and...yeah we kind of got together. Thanos wasn't happy about Loki leading the chitauri to destruction though and he wanted revenge and found out about us. So he wanted to use me against Loki so to get me to go to him he took you."

Her family blinked in shock. Darcy supposed it was a lot to take in. To her surprise it was Liam who spoke first.

"Well I suppose that explains why the avengers rescued us." He said.

"Loki is  _the_ God of Mischief?" Anna asked.

"Well not technically, that's just what Norse people called him." Darcy explained.

"So...what happened after we got out? Did they capture Thanos?" Her dad asked.

Darcy gulped and looked away. "No, he got away." She struggled to say. "We're looking for him."

"Darcy?" Her mom asked, obviously knowing she was hiding something. She squeezed her knee reassuringly and the action was so... _motherly_ that Darcy couldn't stop from spilling everything.

"He escaped taking Loki with him." She said, her voice strained. "And right now he's being tortured and I can't do anything to stop it."

"Oh Darcy." Her mom said, wrapping her arms round her. Darcy couldn't remember the last time her mother had hugged her to comfort her.

She felt like she was always on the verge of crying these days so it surprised her that her eyes were entirely dry. Perhaps it was because she was so determined to fix it.

"It's okay, we're working to get him back." Darcy said though she didn't know if she was telling her family or herself.

"Well keep us updated." Her mom said.

Darcy nodded. "I should go now, I have to see the doctor."

"Doctor?" Her mom asked. "What for?"

"I hurt my head in the fight, nothing bad but it's starting to really hurt so I should go get some more painkillers." She said, entirely truthfully.

"Okay, is anything else hurt?" Her mom asked.

_Oh just some whip marks, bruises, cuts, incisions, burns, her heart..._

"Nope, I'm all good." Darcy said, hugging each of her family members in turn goodbye.

After closing the door behind her, Darcy leant against it. She took a moment just to marvel at the fact that it had actually gone rather well. Surpassing her wildest expectations.

And that would quite possibly be the last time she'd see them again.

She made her way down to the doctor because she hadn't been lying. She felt like someone was trying to drill into her head. And she could probably do with some more salve on her wounds because they were starting to sting too.

The doctor gave her the drugs and told her they would make her feel drowsy.

Well that was good, she supposed. She couldn't leave until the middle of the night or someone would notice. She may as well get some sleep so she could be nice and rested to return to torture.

She only really had a half sketched idea of how to escape but she was too tired to think more about it and she couldn't put it off until she had a plan because that's what the avengers were doing.

So she went to her room, her old room, the one she had slept in when she'd lived in Stark tower. It looked exactly as it had when she'd left it. The windows showed the night landscape of New York, it wasn't late but it was winter so the sky was already dark as pitch.

The buildings still glittered like they had consumed the stars she could not see in such a city. Water shimmered in the distance and she fell onto the bed in surrender to the fact that the city would survive all this, just like it had survived The Battle of New York and Loki's successful invasion. This view would remain, unchanged by her incarceration at the hand of Thanos and oddly there was something comforting about that.

It made the whole thing seem a little smaller, less of a big deal. Not quite insignificant but close enough that it allowed the drugs to take off and send her off to sleep.

Darcy hadn't bothered to set an alarm. For one, she didn't have a phone to do it on. To ask JARVIS was to risk that he would inform someone, or they would find out. Secondly, she was supposed to take the painkillers every four hours. She knew the pain in her head would wake her before any alarm would.

And true to her beliefs she woke to a knife being struck through her skull. She groaned and rolled over, scrambling for the packet of pills on the bedside table.

Pink little pills pressed into white plastic and coated in tinfoil that felt so manufactured and clinical and fake that it felt out of place in her life.

She swallowed two and put the pack back on the side.

She longed for the numbing sensation, wishing she could bring them with her. Wouldn't it be great to take painkillers into torture?

Maybe she'd take them anyway. After all, why not?

She waited a moment on the bed for the painkillers to start to ease the throbbing in her head before climbing out. She'd left the blinds closed and the view had changed slightly, less lights so that the buildings appeared darker than the night sky around them.

She savoured the sight of the outside, knowing the darkness she would be seeing would be the result of shadows cast by light bulbs and pupils glaring at her in hatred.

She shed the jogging bottoms and t-shirt, pulling on instead the length of navy material Stark had given her. If ever there was a time for her to wear it, it was now.

Darcy was surprised to find it felt like denim, but less restrictive. It somehow clung to her like a second skin without looking tight. It had panels on her arms and legs which when she searched found they were pockets of a size most girls only ever dreamt of. It was reinforced around the chest area, providing more support than a sports bra and even though it was pretty simple, when she looked in the mirror it didn't look like a navy SHIELD jumpsuit but like a fitted outfit.

It also had a belt around her hips which she was assumed was there to attach things like grappling hooks to.

All she had was her taser which she slipped into a holder of almost the perfect size. It was a bit small but that just made it easier to pull it out. She pushed her painkillers into a pocket just in case.

She did look a bit like she was going to a comic con but she didn't care. The fabric eased her movements and made her feel less like a child trying to act and more like a determined adult with a plan.

Darcy chose to ignore the fact that that plan was to get captured.

And then she started laughing, clutching her sides as her laughter made her sides ache. This whole thing was so ridiculous. She, Darcy Lewis, political science major who had a job as a lab assistant was wearing a catsuit and was armed, ready to go find the titan who was torturing her boyfriend the god.

She rolled her eyes. Oh well, she may as well get started.

She sent a last longing look out of the window before walking out the door.

She didn't really need to be quiet given how large the building was and how unlikely it was that someone was up at this hour but she found herself treading lightly on the floor anyway. She didn't sneak down the corridor either like she might have done a few months ago, she walked with purpose like she was going to get some more painkillers.

The only indication, other than her outfit that she was doing something she maybe wasn't supposed to was that she was walking slightly quicker than usual.

She passed a crack in the wall, barely discernible but forced herself to walk past it. She had contemplated going in the back up elevator they had used to escape Loki but she decided if anything was likely to set off alarms it was that.

Instead she went to the normal elevator, praying no one else got in and saw her attire. It seemed wrong, using such a mundane method of transport to get out of a building but it was the average quality of it that meant – she hoped – that she wouldn't be seen.

She got out of the lift a floor above the one that she intended. Instead she took the stairs down to the right floor, hoping this would be slightly less conspicuous.

Her heart was beating loudly in her chest.

She took the stairs three at a time, flinging the door open into the employee garage. It was practically empty, after all, who drives to work in New York?

However there was an average looking black car nearby that would hopefully pass relatively unseen through the roads.

However when she got near she saw its dial showed it didn't have much petrol in. Connecticut was close but she'd at least need more than that to get there, she didn't have money or a card to get some on the way.

Instead she was forced to go to a jeep. Less conspicuous but better than the sports cars that Darcy was almost certain were Starks. He must have started using this car park as extra storage space.

Natasha had taught her how to properly pick locks that used keys, bolts, cards, chains and combinations of the above. Darcy was capable of hacking keypad, retina scans or other bio-recognition software or otherwise.

Cars however?

Not so much.

Natasha had mentioned them, Darcy remembered that much at least. She definitely knew the theory of it but actually doing it was another matter.

She took out the packet of pills, the closest thing she had to a flat card.

She managed to slowly jimmy the lock. It was definitely possible but extremely time consuming. She supposed it would take someone like Natasha a second. As it was it took Darcy ten minutes.

But then she sighed in relief as the lock popped on the door. She grinned at herself, proud of her work.

In fact she would have been happy that she had managed it but...

"Are you going somewhere?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Carry On by Fun. For anyone intending to send me an angry review about Darcy making up with her family please don't. There is having an argument with your daughter because you believe she's ungrateful and are too proud to question your own parenting and there is watching your daughter be tortured to stop you being hurt and not wanting to make up with her. There are like two chapters left and I'm on the verge of tears. Thank you for reading and reviewing.


	65. In The End We're All Tragic

_Are you going somewhere?_  The words rang in her head.

What could she say? Lies? Excuses?

"No of course not," She drawled sarcastically because she was pretty much found out. "I just found this jeep so irresistible that I had to check it out."

"Darcy," Thor said. "Do not lie to me."

Ah. Of course he would miss the sarcasm.

"Why are you down here?" Darcy asked, deflecting his statement with a question.

"The man of iron commanded the one called JARVIS to inform him if anyone attempted to leave the building. We feared Thanos may send a message." Thor explained.

"Like what?" Darcy asked, confused.

"Evidently he despises us too for the destruction of the chitauri. And you have proved to be effective leverage against Loki. We believed he may attempt to trick someone out. By offering not to harm Loki, for instance, if you went to him."

"You think I would fall for something like that?" Darcy would ask.

"I think you would take what slight hope you could have." Thor replied simply. "So you are saying he has not contacted you."

"No." Darcy said.

"Good. Let us go." Thor said.

"Wait, what?" Darcy asked.

Thor frowned at her. "Stark was furious when JARVIS contacted him. I offered to go stop you instead but we do not have long until he comes anyway. We must be gone before he gets here."

"Be gone where?" Darcy stuttered.

"Why to Thanos of course, I assume that is where you were going."

"Well yeah." Darcy said in shock. "But why do you want to go?"

"Our conversations are going nowhere and meanwhile my brother is tortured. We must act now. There seems little point in planning when Thanos will be able to read it from our minds anyway. Instead we must surprise him. Hopefully if we go then the others will follow. Is that not what you intended?" Thor asked in confusion.

"Uh yeah." Darcy said, not wanting to admit her original plan. "So am I driving?"

"It would be faster for me to fly us but if we wish for the others to catch up we ought to take the slower option." Thor said, nodding and walking over to the passenger side.

Darcy slipped into the driver seat and unlocked his side. "Okay then." She picked the ignition lock with ease, wedging it in place and the car purred to life. Well rumbled really, with loud chugging noises that promptly calmed down. "You know, you've become quite the strategist since I last saw you."

Thor chuckled as she drove out of the building. "Thank you. You have become quite the warrior. Lady Sif would be proud."

"I doubt it. I'm seventy percent luck and thirty percent sarcastic comments to distract people from attacking me." Darcy replied, turning onto the New York roads.

She was out. True she had picked up a Norse God on the way but she had also obtained a better plan.

And the hour and a half drive to Connecticut would definitely be a lot more pleasant with him in the car.

She had memorised the exact co-ordinates so as soon as they got out of central New York she pulled over and punched them into the sat-nav. Thor was being uncharacteristically quiet.

"Turn right at the next junction." The sat-nav said, the only noise in the car.

"Explain why you are leaving Stark tower." The sat-nav voice said. Darcy stared at it in shock, Thor looking at the small device warily.

Darcy had to make a considerable effort to keep driving. "Explain why you are both driving towards Connecticut when that would be incredibly stupid when we have no way of taking down the invincible alien." The robotic voice said.

Darcy rolled her eyes. "It's not like you to ever wait until we have a plan, Stark."

Suddenly Iron Man appeared flying along next to the car at her window. "How'd you know it was me?" He asked.

"Who else would decide to hack a sat-nav to whine about us leaving?" She replied.

"Are you going to pull over?" He asked.

"Nope, see you in Connecticut." Darcy said.

"Not that you have given us any choice." Stark said. "The others are pissed off as well."

"My friend," Thor said. "It is necessary, explanations can wait but we must attend at once to Thanos."

"You'd better know what you're doing." Stark replied before flying straight up, presumably to where whatever form of transport they were using was."

Darcy pulled over in some woodland close to the co-ordinates. A helicopter was waiting in the clearing with several angry looking avengers.

"What were you thinking?" Natasha demanded.

"We need a plan before we attack." Steve said, anger brimming under his calm voice. "Especially with someone like this, otherwise it's suicide."

Darcy shook her head. "I wasn't planning on attacking. Either way that's changed now. And a plan wouldn't help anyway, Thanos would read it straight from your minds and stop you before you could start."

"I don't like this." Banner said.

"Yeah like the Hulk could follow a plan anyway." Darcy said.

Bruce shrugged. "Perhaps not but we should at least have some idea of what we are doing."

"We must get to Loki now." Thor said. "Whatever we know must be enough, even if we spent weeks discussing the issue we would know no more and would lose the element of surprise."

"So we're just going to hope the vibranium works on Thanos? Weaken him enough to capture him?" Stark asked.

The others shrugged and nodded but no one looked too happy to have such a weak plan.

"What do we know about where Loki's being kept?" Darcy asked because her only purpose there was to think of strategy rather than fighting.

"We looked it up in the helicopter. It's an abandoned research centre." Natasha said.

"What?" Darcy asked. She didn't think Connecticut had any. That was probably a bit silly of her but with New York so close why would there be labs out here?

"Not like that. It's more environmental stuff: Water pollution, animal populations and that sort of thing. It won't be a huge building. There doesn't seem to be much consistency with the locations. The first place was a warehouse, from what you described and the second was a leisure centre that was abandoned before it even completed being built." She continued.

"He's just looking for empty places, probably far away from cities." Darcy said though it seemed kind of obvious.

"Right well there are three entrances. We've set up a ring of vibranium around it while we were waiting for you and we are hoping that will stop him from being able to teleport out but we don't know if it will work. We go in through the different entrances and attack as soon as we find him, not giving him any chances to get away. He'll probably be with Loki so Darcy you stay out of the battle and make sure he's okay. Everyone clear?" She asked.

Everyone nodded as Steve outlined the groups.

She would be going to the back entrance with Clint and Natasha.

"Nice outfit." Clint flashed her a grin in the darkness of the woods.

Darcy smiled back, it was nice to see that someone didn't really care about the fact they were acting now. Though to be honest, Clint struck her as a lot smarter than he let on and Darcy believed if anyone understood the benefits of attacking now rather than later then it was him.

"It's probably not your idea of a fun mission to rescue someone you hate." Darcy said as they worked towards the building.

"Not exactly." He agreed. "But I'm rescuing him from someone I hate more so it's not too bad."

Darcy raised her eyebrows at him. Someone he hated more than Loki?! Was that even possible.

Clint grinned, clearly knowing exactly what she was thinking. "It's close but at the end of the day Loki was just acting on orders, it was Thanos and his magic that took my mind out for a spin."

Darcy nodded.

"Are you armed, Darcy?" Natasha asked. "Because I have a few guns spare if you need any."

"No, I'm good thanks." Darcy said, thinking of the last time she had access to a vibranium filled gun. "Stark built me a taser."

Natasha nodded. "We should keep quiet now."

They were going deeper into the woods. It was like something out of a horror story or fairy tale. The moon was full and round in the sky, peeking out from behind the edge of a dark grey cloud that almost blended into the night sky. Twigs snapped under her feet and the wet leaves and mud made sucking noises when she lifted her feet. The air was filled with the sound of wind and animals who woke only for the night.

It made her kind of anxious about what she was going to find.

The building appeared out of nowhere. They moved ahead through seemingly more woodland and found themselves in a clearing. She could hear the trickling of running water nearby so she assumed they were near the river.

Natasha had said it wouldn't be big and it wasn't by usual lab standards but it was still about the size of a considerable mansion but built in an office like style. A huge slab of concrete rising like the Earth itself had rejected it in the middle of the clearing.

There were windows but the glass was either dirty or missing, revealing nothing of the dark empty space beyond. It was hard to believe this would be the place that Thanos would take Loki.

They waited beyond the building for a signal that the others were in place. Darcy saw a flash of light from Stark's suit on her left side which reflected of Steve's shield from the right. They formed a triangle around the building.

And then they ran. Thor and Tony just smashed the doors down but they had to wait a few seconds for Natasha to slam the door down. She was wasting no time with meticulously picking locks.

The door crashed to the floor, sending up a huge cloud of smoke which obscured her sight of the inside building. Darcy's heart was beating so fast she thought it might very well jump out of her throat.

Thanos was in there. She should be terrified. The name alone should make her want to scream and run crying to her mother. Instead she felt surging anger. This guy had used her as a fucking object to hurt someone else. He'd destroyed something within her and to him she didn't even exist as a person in her own right.

Add to that the fact that he was, right this moment, torturing Loki. He had gone through so much already and this asshole thought he had a right to cause him more.

And out of revenge for something that wasn't even his fault?

Furious didn't even begin to cover how she felt right now.

She stormed into the building before Natasha or Clint set foot in there. She was in a hallway with rooms lining either side. Loki could be anywhere.

No. Wait, he couldn't. Darcy had one tool at her disposal so she may as well use it.

She thought back to everything she had seen when she'd had the vision of Loki. It was dark but this entire place was. The room had been fairly large, from the spacing of these doors she didn't think it could be any of them. No, she was missing something. There was something more important.

 _Think_ , she urged.

 _THE CHAINS!_ She suddenly realised. The ones suspending him from the ground had been attached to a ceiling that Darcy couldn't see.

She looked up. Heck the ceiling was so low here even she would be able to reach it.

"The ceiling was higher than this." She told them.

They didn't question how she knew it though they were both clever enough to assume it was the connection between her and Loki.

Darcy bit her lip anxiously. What if Thanos and Loki were gone? Moved to a different location before she could get there?

"Attic or basement." Natasha said.

A sudden crash from below made the floor beneath them shake. Damn they really hadn't thought this through. A battle in a building like this could bring the whole thing down.

"Basement." Clint replied and even though no one said anything they all simultaneously sprinted down the hall.

They emerged in what looked like a reception area with the front door along with a significant part of the wall around it now missing. These mortal sized doors weren't really enough for Thor.

Opposite was a crooked staircase leading to the upper levels but next to it was a door with a logo of stairs on it and the text "Emp oy e nly" with several vinyl letters lying curled on the floor in front.

Natasha reached it first and leant against it. Darcy saw belatedly that she had a gun clutched on one hand and Clint was clutching his bow like it was a knife, which, she supposed- looking at the sharp point of it- it could be used as.

Darcy hurried to clutch her taser in her hand. She felt childish, like she'd been thrown in the deep end when she'd only just had her arm bands taken off.

Darcy turned the dial on the side all the way up. If she was going to use this on anyone it would be Thanos, even if his skin was resistant to electricity.

They started to go down the steps and from behind her she could hear Tony and Bruce (Who would not be going hulk form until they actually found Thanos).

She knew the moment she could glimpse into the room that it was the right place. She couldn't see them yet but even without that she could see it was the right size and the perfect lighting, dim but not dark. Just dull enough to cast shadows over people and mute the colours.

She barely even registered Thor and Steve battling Thanos.

"Loki!" She shouted without even realising.

He was still strung up, head bowed and without the chains he would have been sprawled on the floor.

"Loki," She muttered, placing her hands on either side of his face. That was odd, she didn't even remember running but suddenly she was in front of him. "Loki, come on wake up." His eyes were closed, his matted hair flicking into his face. There were shadows across his cheeks that had nothing to do with the lighting and his skin was more taut and translucent than usual, so pale it almost appeared blue

She would have slapped him awake but the thought of causing him more pain was almost unbearable. She did a brief check for wounds while the sounds of fighting raged behind her.

"You believe you can defeat me?" She heard Thanos laughing and rolled her eyes. Christ, to think she'd once believe Loki to be the King of Dicks when apparently this God of them had existed all along.

She couldn't bear to linger on them but after establishing there were no serious wounds- no doubt the intent had been pain generated causing them not the pain resulting from them- she stopped and turned her attention instead to the chains.

There was no way she'd be able to reach the ones that were holding his wrists aloft, heck Darcy could barely reach his head given that he was suspended from the ceiling. So she started with the ones around his ankles.

Her fingers trailed across the runes which instead of being engraved like she had first believed were actually raised out from the metal. They were harsh strokes that looked like they would sound more guttural than Russian – shit she should never mention that to Natasha – if spoken.

She ran her fingers round the one on his right ankle, looking for a groove where they closed, a hinge she could pry open or a lock to be opened. Nothing. It was like they had been made in a perfect circle. They had to use magic. Just because they stopped Loki using his didn't mean they stopped Thanos, the proof of that was in the marks covering every inch of his skin.

Thanos sounded miles away as he commented on the vibranium stopping him teleporting out. It was like he was a villain from a nineties film who captures the hero and delivers a monologue about what they planned to do right to them.

She looked at the chains again. Only in those films the hero always escapes.

She jumped as something heavy slammed into the floor next to her.

Iron Man. That suit must weigh a tonne. The part covering his face raised so that she was looking at Stark.

"Need a hand?" He asked.

Before she could reply the jets on his feet came on and he hovered high enough to face the manacles on Loki's wrists.

"There's no close!" She shouted to him over the rackets and crashing behind her.

Plaster was crumbling down from the ceiling coating them all in a fine white dust and Darcy thought how it was only a matter of time until the whole thing came down.

"It doesn't matter." Stark said. He raised his hand palm out to the manacle and a thin blue laser shot out of it which he directed to the manacle. At first Darcy didn't think it was working but then the top began to crack and the metal steamed. Loki would probably end up with some burns but in comparison to Thanos's torture Darcy felt he would survive.

Stark brought his hand down in a slow straight line until the whole cuff cracked into two pieces. Loki slumped on the chain now that only one of his hands was attached. Stark flew round to do his other hand.

"Uh Tony?" She asked. "Could you maybe do his feet first, only I don't think I'm strong enough to be able to carry him for very long."  
Tony looked down like he'd forgotten and directed his beam at the cuffs around his ankles. Darcy shot him a worried glance, he was quite far away from the cuffs and could have easily missed.

Then again he was probably half hoping he did. She imagined Stark wouldn't exactly be sad about zapping Loki with a laser.

She sighed. Even when Loki wasn't trying to be a jerk – which admittedly was not very often – he still managed to rub people the wrong way. Maybe it was his sunny personality.

Once Stark had laser cut the manacles on Loki's ankles, Darcy wrapped her arm round his waist, preparing herself for the weight.

The chain clattered to the floor and Darcy almost fell under the sudden weight in her arms. She struggled to lift him and managed to position one of his arms round her shoulders to make it a bit easier. She yelled her thanks to Stark as he went to join the fray.

Darcy glanced over. Thanos was sporting lots of cuts but nothing deadly, even if he could be killed from cuts. Darcy still felt herself smile. They may not be close to capturing him but it was something to have caused damage to his supposedly impervious skin.

"Darcy?" Loki's weak voice shocked her. He'd never sounded so weak. "What are you doing here?"

"Currently?" She asked. "Struggling under your weight."

She tried to move him to the edge of the room where he would be safer. It was slow work.

"You were supposed to be safe!" He snarled at her suddenly, realising what her presence meant.

"Yeah well so were you." She said.

"I was content with Thanos's work so long as you were not here." He said.

Darcy rolled her eyes. "Yeah well I was fine with torture knowing you were safe too and what did you do? Consider this payback. Only this time I'm not going to get caught like you did."

"Darcy-"

"Shut up," She said, already straining under his weight though while he was conscious he was helping her a bit. "How did you feel watching me being tortured? Could you have sat by?"

"This isn't the-"

"Okay if you complain about my presence here one more time I will tase you. It makes no difference to me, you're a dead weight either way and at least that way I don't have to put up with your whining." She said.

Loki mumbled something she couldn't hear but the tone told her it was definitely something insulting.

"Sorry, what was that?" She asked, finger tapping against the taser she held in the hand that wasn't wrapped round Loki's waist.

"Nothing." He muttered back.

"Yeah right it-" For the second time Darcy was hit with a blast of power that sent her flying backwards. Loki slipped from her grasp, flung back just like she was. She didn't hit a wall this time, instead slamming into the floor.

She managed to roll to stop some of the impact but the jolt to her head still had her longing for her painkillers.

Instead she jumped to her feet and ran to Loki, scared he may have been more injured in the blast.

"This is why you should not be here." He snapped. He'd managed to at least land sitting against a wall.

Darcy watched as the avengers redoubled their fights. Clint fired vibranium arrows and Natasha fired vibranium bullets while going all kung fu master on Thanos. He seemed to be familiar with weapons and punching as he had no trouble fighting back against Thor and Steve but he swatted at Natasha like he couldn't understand what she was doing. Especially as she would stab him with what Darcy could only assume were vibranium knives.

The Hulk was being repeated subdued by those power blasts and Stark was more distracting him with his lasers than hurting him.

"I should be helping." Loki said through gritted teeth.

Darcy crossed her arms. "You can't even stand up, let alone fight Thanos."

As she said that he climbed to his feet.

"Dude!" She admonished. "You could stand and you let me drag you."

"I could not stand, I am simply using my magic to accelerate the healing more than I would usually be able to as my magic is clearly of no use against Thanos. I also seem unable to teleport you out of here, despite my best attempts." He said, brushing dust off himself. He still looked a bit weary.

He'd been trying to teleport her out? He was lucky he had failed because she would have killed him.

"Standing or not you are still in no position to fight. You look worse than when the Hulk used you as a rag doll." She said.

Loki glared at her. "Thanos is mine to kill."

"Good luck, he can't die." Darcy said before grabbing Loki and pulling him down as one of Thanos's cosmic blasts hit the wall where a moment ago his head had been. Loki looked shocked and she glared at him. "See, you will get yourself killed."

Darcy didn't know what made her turn round, just a sense that something important was happening.

Thanos looked at the empty chains and then at her and Loki.

"You," He snarled. "I should have killed you when I had the chance."

The avengers tried to take advantage of his distraction but he blasted them back so casually it was like he was swatting a fly.

Darcy tried to block Loki from view even though she was fairly certain he was talking to her.

"Nothing more than an irritation. A complication." He said.

Loki tried to move and Thanos sent a blast straight at him that threw him across the room.

"Do not worry Asgardian, I shall kill her quickly. You will not have the same privilege. I still have much planned for you once I take care of your...friends." He snarled.

And this Darcy realised was his weakness. So self-assured and confident. So certain he would win.

He could kill Loki right now and they probably wouldn't be able to stop him but he was so sure he would win and so set in his plans for Loki that he wouldn't risk not being able to carry out every meticulous detail than to just ensure he reached his ultimate goal.

Darcy wasn't sure how that could help her but she felt it was important.

She didn't know what to do. Run? Fight?

It turned out it didn't matter because Thanos thrust his hand forward and she was slammed with more energy. She cluttered to the floor, her knuckles white round her taser.

She tasted blood in her mouth and her ears were ringing.

She turned, planning to run to the avengers like "SAVE ME PLEEEEAAASE!"

But they were too far away and Thanos was suddenly above her. His large hand reached down and wrapped round her neck, yanking her up and off her feet.

She scratched and clawed at the hand holding her but it made no difference. The blood rushed to her head and the room started to spin. Thanos was laughing and it was ringing in her head. This was it. She was going to die.

She had her taser in her hand but what good would it be when his skin was immune to electricity?

_WAIT.  
_

A plan hit her like it had been slammed into her mind by God Himself. His skin was immune to electricity. But his skin had been broken by vibranium bullets.

She only had seconds, her vision already going black, her head feeling like it was going to explode.

To her surprise Thanos loosened his grip, holding her by the chin rather than her neck. Painful but not dangerous. He turned to the avengers.

"Surrender or I will  _strangle_  her."

She was coughing, spluttering for breath. She could do it now, one squeeze of the trigger.

But now that he had moved his hand she felt what she hadn't before. Blood on her neck. And it wasn't hers.

There was only a slight chance this would work but if it did, if the broken skin meant electricity word work on Thanos then the broken skin on his hands would connect her to him. She'd complete the circuit. And she'd fry.

Thor threw down Mjolnir, hands up.

Her eyes moved to Loki. If they surrendered Thanos would take Loki and go. He'd torture him until he eventually decided to kill him. And that couldn't happen.

Her mind was made.

She locked eyes on him, trying to convey all that she could through a single look. Another person Loki loved would be gone. But he would understand, eventually, that it was an act of love that allowed her to do this. Maybe then he would finally understand that it  _was_  possible for people to care for, even love him.

And she'd be freeing him from Thanos. Such a gift she could give him with this act.

And she wanted to kill Thanos too, it was as much for her as for him. Thanos's words rang in her mind.

_If it is any consolation, it is not personal. We simply need you in order to destroy him._

"If it is any consolation." She rasped. "It is entirely personal. You simply used me and hurt my boyfriend. And you entirely deserve this."

She jammed the taser into a large gash she could just see from the corner of her eye, a red mark on his forearm that was still dripping blood.

She pulled the trigger.

And screamed as thousands of volts of electricity arched through her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from Free by The Maine. I...yeah.
> 
> Thanks for commenting...
> 
> The next chapter is the last.


	66. Write New History

Darcy had never believed in an afterlife. She had always thought of death as a big void of nothingness, not even darkness because that would in turn be something.

But  _this_...

This was something.

And it was pain.

Pain she knew it would be impossible to experience if she were alive because it was like being torn apart, shred by tiny shred. Scattered into her tiniest of atoms. So that was it, she was dead. She knew she had to be.

She'd felt the pain of the electricity and then there was nothing until this had started like she had been stuck in a blender.

And it didn't stop.

She would have opened her mouth to scream but there was nothing and certainly no one to hear her.

 

 

The pain had dulled into something more tolerable. Still horrible but a relief from what it had been earlier. Or maybe she had just become accustomed to it.

Maybe this was hell. Maybe it existed and she was there.

Occasionally she heard voices like whispers, unable to make out words but enough to give her a sense of the person. Her friends.

She must be losing it. Her friends were alive. They wouldn't be here. The only one who would be was Izzy.

Oh God she hoped her friend hadn't succumbed to this as well.

 

 

She was screaming. The pain was back. And she couldn't stand it.

 

 

Nothing. There was nothing. After an eternity the pain had stopped. All that was present was the darkness and that alone was enough to make her pray for unconsciousness.

She had been thinking about afterlives. Heaven and hell and reincarnation and rebirth. None of those seemed likely. She could be in Hades she supposed but which part? Fields of Punishment? She would have had a trial. Fields of Asphodel? She wouldn't remember anything about herself. And certainly this was not Elysium.

She didn't recall her heart being weighed against a feather so she supposed that threw the Egyptians away as well.

No there was one that stuck. Helheim. The Norse afterlife.

It was vague, most accounts listing nothingness and a void.

If Darcy were anywhere she was there.

And oh God how she wished she could go back.

 

 

Suddenly her eyes sprang open. She blinked, not believing her eyes. She was in a room. An actual honest-to-god room.  _Her_  room. Back in New Mexico.

What was this? Some form of heaven?

Maybe. She felt different. Really different. Like her body was made of a different substance. Like she was more...present. Like she suddenly deserved the space she filled and it was hers. She felt eternal.

She blinked again. If she was in heaven then why did it look like her New Mexico bedroom? She at least deserved something a bit fancier, right?

It definitely was her New Mexico bedroom. She couldn't see much of it because of the fact she was lying in bed but she could see the wall paper from the corner of her eyes and she had this swirl of thicker pain across the ceiling which looked even cooler when she took her glasses off and-

No glasses.

So apparently heaven cured her eyesight.

Wait, why did she believe it was heaven again? Seriously, what the hell was going on?

She tried to move in the bed and found that she'd pushed herself too hard so that she almost banged her head against the headboard.

Yep, New Mexico bedroom all right. Wardrobe, wall paper, rug, paintings...her eyes scanned the room. Until they looked immediately next to her.

Her heart sank. Loki was sat in a chair, well maybe slumped was a better way of putting it because he seemed to be asleep.

No. No. No. No. That wasn't fair.

She'd done all that to protect Loki. Wherever she was it wasn't fair for him to be here too. He was supposed to be safe.

She sniffed back tears, trying to reason with herself. After all she had no idea what was going on. The logical answer was not to jump to the immediate conclusion that she was of course dead and Loki was here in the afterlife with her.

He stirred at her sniffing, long eyelashes casting moving shadows against his sharp cheekbones as his eyes fluttered. Lazily they opened and looked at her.

And then they widened and he shot to his feet.

"Darcy?" He asked, an odd mixture of hope and excitement in his voice.

"Yeah?" She asked. Why was he being so...weird?

"You're awake. You're  _alive_." He said though it sounded more like he was talking to himself. "Valhalla it worked. It actually worked."

He clutched at her hands, holding them in his own.

"God you're freezing." She said, rubbing her thumb over his finger. "What worked? What is this place? What happened?"

Loki brought her fingers to his lips, gently brushing them against them. "We can discuss that later. For now...you are here."

"Why wouldn't I be here?" Darcy asked, beyond confused. "Loki tell me what's happening, please, you're scaring me. Is this like heaven?"

Loki narrowed his eyes at her though his heart wasn't in it, the joy in his eyes was too self-evident to allow for an effective disdainful look. "If your idea of heaven is

New Mexico then you may have larger problems than I at first believed."

"Loki," She warned. She was too confused to joke. She just wanted to know what was going on.

He sighed, pulling her forwards into his arms. She let him, not used to such behaviour from him. He kissed her forehead lightly like she was a delicate doll.

"Okay now you're scaring me." She said. "Hugs and forehead kisses are not your thing."

He laughed, a sound that warmed her inside out like hot chocolate. She hadn't realised just how much she'd missed it in all that had happened. The smell of leather seemed stronger. In fact everything seemed stronger. The smells, the shapes were more defined, the noises sharper and the feel of his leather more tangible than ever.

Apparently heightened sentences were part of whatever it was.

And she was crying, her body shaking with sobs.

"Darcy?" Loki asked, panic in his voice that she had never heard before. He squeezed her hands tighter and she leant into him as he instead returned his arms around her. He was holding her. His arms around her. "Is something wrong?"

"I just…I missed you so much and I…I'm so confused…I." She sniffed and wiped her tears away. "Loki. What is going on? Please?" She asked again.

He pulled away, hands going back to hers like he could not bear to let her go. "You are in New Mexico, at the house SHIELD once provided you with." He said.

"Yeah I gathered that." She said, looking at their entwined hands. The circles of metal on Loki's wrists made them appear paler but she could see no marks from the chains he had worn.

"Do you recall what happened?" He asked, looking at her like a specimen in a science experiment. Like he was watching to see if she suddenly grew another head or something.

She nodded anyway, not telling him to stop gawking at her like she wanted to. "You were taken by Thanos and we went to get you back." She said, squeezing his hand slightly. "No one puts my boyfriend in chains but me and that kind of thing needs a safeword."

He laughed. Again. Wow, twice in so short a time must have meant he was very happy indeed. He even looked like he was struggling to stop smiling and Darcy was under the belief each smile he suppressed was an effort.

"And then Thanos came after me." She said, voice becoming more serious. "And I had an opportunity to take him out. Only...it was electricity and I was touching him and..." the memory of the volts frying her every nerve was still fresh in her head, nowhere near as painful as whatever that thing in the void had been – she still involuntarily winced whenever she thought of that- but still not an experience she would ever wish to repeat. "Well that's why I'm here right? Whatever afterlife this is."

Loki frowned at her. "You mean you knew what that electricity would do?" He demanded.

"Well yeah," She said, not understanding why he was annoyed about that. "I completed the circuit. But it was the only chance we had to take Thanos out, everyone was surrendering and-" Her voice caught in her throat so she lowered it to a whisper. "And then he would have got you again. And I couldn't let you go through that again...I couldn't let him finish."

Loki swallowed and looked away, shaking his head slightly. "You attempted to give your life for that? Darcy my life is nowhere near the cost of yours."

"Not to me. Besides, my life is mine and for only me to spend. And I spent it on you." She said. "And hey if you're here then that means I went to heaven where they gave me a nice projection of you."

Loki locked his eyes on her, a hand moving almost absent-mindedly to brush a strand of hair from her face. Darcy's skin prickled at his touch and it took all her willpower not to lean in against his hand.

"Darcy," Loki said more gently than she had ever heard him speak. "You are not dead."

"What?" She asked because the idea of her still being alive was ridiculous. The stun gun had been set on its highest setting. At its lowest it probably could have killed someone of her size.

"You are alive, Darcy." He repeated like he understood how difficult that was for her to accept.

"But...that's not possible." She said.

"It was very unlikely," He agreed. "Yet you seem to have managed it."

"How?" She asked, voice unsteady.

To her surprise, Loki's face darkened. He looked away from her. "Must you ask that now?"

"Loki?" She asked, worried as to why he suddenly looked so haunted. "What had he done? Was she a fucking vampire or something?

"It was the only way to save you." He said.

Her heart beat faster with sudden fear.  _What_  was the only way to save her?

He sighed, running fingers through his hair. "The Blessing of The Aesir." He said at last.

"The blessing of the what now?" She asked, frowning.

"The Blessing of The Aesir." He repeated, turning to face her. "It can be bestowed only by the King of Asgard which, whether rightfully or not, is currently me."

She could feel herself getting excited but she didn't know why. It took a few moments for her to remember something Loki had said when they'd been imprisoned on Asgard...  _Only the Allfather has the power to make a mortal Asgardian._

"I'm an Asgardian?" She whispered. That seemed so incomprehensible.

"Not quite." He said. "The Blessing cannot turn someone into one of Asgard. Genetically you remain human. However you are blessed with many of the attributes of Asgardians: appearance, longevity, the ability to wield magic, the strength and stamina and of course, accelerated healing. I...It was what the Allfather gave to me when he found me on Jotenheim."

"But I don't understand," Darcy said. "That sounds good. Why were you so upset about giving me it?"

"For one," Loki said, hand stroking her cheek. "The pain you must have gone through...It must have been unbearable. I should not have put you through that but I...I could not bear to lose you. It was selfish and I am sorry but…I do not regret it for an instant."

The pain. That was what that was?

"But you went through it." She said. "If you were blessed too, right?"

Loki shook her head. "The Jotuns too can wield magic, it is why mine is particularly strong. They have a similar life span to Asgardians as well meaning the blessing, though less used, is far more effective. Humans however are more fragile. It is more of a change." He looked down in guilt. "Such pain with only the slightest chance of the procedure actually working. I should not have risked such a thing-"

"Hey," She stopped him, placing her own hand over his. "It was painful. But I'm alive...I never wanted to die Loki. And I'm more than alive. I'm practically immortal?"

He nodded and looked at her apologetically. "It is a curse I would not wish to burden you-"

"Being immortal is awesome!" Darcy answered. He frowned at her and she rolled her eyes. "Look I know you're  _supposed_  to say that it's not, that life is only precious because it ends blah blah blah. That's bullshit. I mean, living for longer...you don't have to rush anything. There's no need to get married and have kids and get your dream job because the clock is ticking when all you want to do is get drunk every night."

"It is not quite immortality. You will still eventually die." He said before frowning. "And I do not recommend getting drunk every night."

She had to stop herself from laughing because she'd almost died and her cheeks were still damp and they were discussing alcohol. "I was joking. Kind of. And yeah eventually but in the meantime I don't even need glasses? Dude it is so worth the pain. And," She said, smiling. "I get to...I mean I thought when I pulled that trigger I was going, erasing myself into oblivion. And I'd never see you again. Instead I woke to find you next to me."

"Well never seeing me again is clearly comparable to being erased into oblivion." Loki joked but he was smiling, she knew it always surprised him to be reminded of the fact he was loved.

"And magic?" She asked. "I can do magic?"

Loki wrinkled his nose. "Probably not."

"But you said-"

"I said you had the ability to." He clarified. "Most Asgardians do, though few have the temperament, control and dedication to ever learn. Somehow I do not think your personality is compatible."

"Hey!" Darcy protested but she couldn't really argue more than that. She had kind of the opposite of a calm temperament and self-control.

She was, for all intents and purposes, Asgardian. That was so odd she didn't even know where to begin. But one thing was clear in her mind, she was alive.

And the fact that both she and Loki had this blessing made her feel closer to him somehow, ridiculous though she knew it was.

Wait? Would she be pressured into spending eternity with him? Because she loved him but that seemed like a big thing to commit herself to.

No...she was being silly. This changed a lot of things but her relationship wasn't one of them.

Well apart from the fact that their difference in life span was no longer an issue.

There was something else she was supposed to ask about but she couldn't think what it was. She supposed finding out she was not only alive but would stay that way for a while was a lot to take in.

She stretched, pushing the covers off of her. She was in her cookie monster pyjamas.

She glared at Loki.

"Who chose to put me in these?" She asked.

He was suppressing a smile.

"Seriously you choose for me to be wearing this when I find out I'm immortal?" She demanded.

"It is a momentous occasion. You ought to remember it." He said.

"Urgh you're telling me I have to put up with you for longer than my previous limited life span allowed? I've changed my mind. Can I be a normal human again please?" She asked.

"I do not believe you were ever a normal human." Loki said.

Darcy sighed. "See I know you mean that as a compliment but there's still an insult to my species in there." Despite her new Aesir form Darcy felt stiff as she stretched her limbs. "How long was I lying there?"

Loki pressed his lips together. "Eight days."

Darcy's eyes widened. "And you stayed here all that time?" No wonder he'd been asleep when she woke.

Loki looked away. "I did not know if you would survive the blessing."

Oh.

Yeah.

She'd forgotten that part.

_Awkward.  
_

"Thanos!" She gasped, having suddenly remembered what she was supposed to ask him.  _Oh yeah, not a little thing I forgot then_. Loki looked at her sharply. "What happened to him?"

"He was not quite knocked unconscious by your act though was stunned enough that he could not move. It was idiotic for him to attack like this. He was severely weakened after the chitauri were destroyed, had he waited for his powers to fully return...well for now he is incarcerated in a SHIELD cell designed for Dr Banner."

Hey, Loki got one of her friend's names right! Progress! Then again they did save him so he kind of owed them. "I have since supplied runes that will bind his powers."

"So a taser was enough to knock him out?" Darcy asked, somehow that weapon seemed too simple for her to understand.

Loki smiled grimly. "Stark used a particular core for your taser. One that I had tapped with the sceptre." Oh yeah, Darcy had remembered Stark saying. "When I asked him he said he simply did not have time to make more vibranium and that he had kept that as a souvenir of our confrontation." Loki grimaced. "The sceptre was powered by the tesseract. Some of the energy transferred through. Not a lot, certainly not enough to even harm him if he were at full power but enough that in his current state the energy of the infinity stone could render him nearly unconscious." He looked at her seriously. "I doubt he will remain there for long. When he is at full power he will return for revenge against all. I simply hope a power will exist by then to stop him."

"But for now?" Darcy asked tentatively, revenge against all didn't sound good but it was better than him specifically targeting them.

"For now we are safe." Loki said.

"We're safe?" Darcy repeated, voice wavering with hope.

Loki smiled and for once Darcy didn't see anything negative hidden in his eyes: secret worries, self hatred, tragic past…just happiness and love and her heart fluttered at the sight. "We are safe." He confirmed.

Darcy grabbed him, unable contain the happiness that was causing such a cheesy smile on his face.

"We're safe." She repeated as she hugged him because she couldn't remember the last time she hadn't had  _someone_  after her.

"We are safe." He agreed, like he couldn't believe it either. He was hugging her in that way she loved, one arm round the back of her waist and one wrapped round her to the back of her neck, pressing her into him protectively like he had been waiting to hold her like this.

She pecked her lips against his, her smile too much to change into truly making out.

"I love you." He said against her. She almost froze, Loki not only admitting he loved her but saying it first?

He must have noticed her shock because he laughed, his chest moving against her.

"You think I would ever waste another opportunity to say it after all this?" He asked.

Darcy could almost hear an imaginary audience in her head going  _awwwww_. She bit back her smile.

"I love you." She said back, unable to stop herself. "I love you so much."

And then he kissed her. It was so gentle at first it was more of a tingling against her lips but it set her every inch ablaze.

She pushed harder against him, her hands round his back moving to tangle in his hair. His hair filled her fingers, his tongue on her lips then her teeth then the roof of her mouth and she wanted to drown in his taste.

They kissed for what felt like an eternity, the blood pounding in her head making the room spin before she needed to gasp for air.

Loki took a lungful of air, more than she had ever seen him need. She could make him pant, yes but be completely out of breath? That hadn't happened.

"It is so different." He said.

"What?" She asked, kind of worried. Different good or different bad?

"You are not so delicate." He said.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "Delicate?" She asked, with her build it wasn't something she'd ever been called. She was small, yes, but most guys got distracted from that by  _BOOBS!_

She grinned at him. "Well if you think my kissing isn't delicate well...this new Asgardian body is going to take a bit of getting used to. It's a bit too pure for my liking."

"Well we can't have that." Loki smiled.

 

 

A considerable while later due to the sheer amount of hugging and kissing that had occurred before and after sex, Darcy showered and dressed and walked down the stairs. It was amazing how powerful she felt now, it was difficult to describe but she just felt so different. She couldn't not be aware of it.

"Darcy!" Jane exclaimed, throwing down her pen and running to hug her. "It worked?"

Darcy hugged her back, careful not to be too hard as she wasn't yet accustomed to her new strength. "Apparently so."

Jane was crying. "When I heard what happened..."

"I know," Darcy said. "I'm sorry, it's okay. I'm sorry."

"You're alright." Jane said. She let her go, wiping her tears away. It took her a while to not be sobbing. When she'd finally stopped she asked: "So you're part Asgardian now?"

"Yeah." Darcy said. It had certainly been fun finding her new limits in certain areas.

"I'll have to phone the others. Tell them it worked. You know Tony will insist on a party, right?" Jane asked.

Darcy smiled. "Well it is me. I'd expect nothing else." She joked.

"Yeah well Clint is in Afghanistan and Natasha and Steve have some important stuff to take care of with Fury in DC. Hopefully it shouldn't take them too long or it will just be us lot and Banner." Jane said.

"Darcy!" Thor boomed as he entered the room. She hugged him too. It was very odd having his hugs not be so strong. "I heard the good news! I am glad to welcome you as a fellow Aesir."

Darcy grinned. "So does that mean I have to come to court and feasts and stuff?"

Thor laughed. "An invitation will of course be extended." He turned to Jane. "I must go now." Jane hugged and kissed him, making him promise to come back soon.

"Where are you going?" Darcy asked.

Thor frowned at her. "Did you not say farewell to Loki?"

"No," Darcy said, equally confused. "Why would I?"

She saw movement in the corner of her eye and turned to see Loki walking outside. Was he going somewhere without telling her? Rude.

She ran to the door.

He was stood in a burnt circle on the ground, fiddling with the cuff on his wrist. Darcy recognised the circle on the ground as the mark of the Bifrost.

"Hey!" She called angrily, storming up to him. "Are you just running off without even telling me? Where the fuck are you-"

Her voice caught as she saw the cuff on his wrist. The bands were new, she knew that. She knew they were runed too. But whether it was her new Asgardian brain or her knowledge of Asgardian writing coming back to her, she was suddenly able to read the runes.

_He who wields this hammer commands._

"Loki," She started, her voice quiet and scared. "What's going on?"

The same runes that had covered his handcuffs on Svartalfheim but now they did not seem so amusing.

He looked at her painfully, like he had hoped he would not have this conversation. "The terms of my brother's help."

"What?" She felt like she was preventing things from clicking in her mind by hoping they weren't true. The air in her lungs had frozen and she couldn't breathe.

"Thor agreed to help, and to gather the other avengers to fight Thanos on one condition. This was it." Loki sighed.

" _What_  was it?" Darcy was frustrated at not understanding but she had tears in her eyes. In hindsight perhaps she was in denial.

"That I wore these circlets." Loki said. "Which would not allow me to willingly stray from Thor nor use magic without his permission. He would help me rescue you from Thanos...and in return when that was done I would return with him to Asgard to face justice for my actions."

Darcy felt like she might start hyperventilating.  _What?!  
_

No. This couldn't be true.

Loki smiled at her sadly. "I had to choose between the throne and you. In the end it was quite an easy choice."

She felt like she'd been punched in the heart.

She heard heavy footsteps behind her and turned to see Thor walking towards her.

"Thor what the actual fuck?" She demanded.

Thor seemed confused. "Excuse me?"

"You're dragging Loki back to Asgard?" She asked. "You can't do that!"

His face darkened. "Darcy, he imprisoned the Allfather and myself. He has been ruling Asgard illegitimately for months. These are serious crimes-"

"I know they are." She snapped, the tears were threatening to spill from her eyes but whether they were from sadness or anger she didn't know. "But you can't do this. Please."

"Darcy," Loki started gently behind her.

She rounded on him, actually shaking a finger at him in anger. "Don't you dare." She said, her voice edged like a knife blade.

She turned back to Thor.

"The Allfather-"

"Will kill him." Darcy said bluntly. Stunned silence met her ears. "You know he will. It took Frigga to stop him from doing it when he tried to rule Earth. What do you honestly think he'll do to him for managing to successfully rule Asgard?"

"Darcy, I accept whatever punishment-" Loki started.

"YOU SHUT UP!" She shouted at him, rounding on him again. "You might accept it but I fucking don't!" She turned back to Thor. "And he didn't do it from some power complex. I'm not saying his reasons justify his actions but he did it for someone else. Doesn't that count for anything? I mean it's Loki! That's a heck of a lot of progress." She reasoned.

"Thank you, Darcy." Loki said coolly from behind her. She ignored him. Clearly if he thought this was fine he did not deserve to be listened to.

"Darcy," Thor said. "I appreciate that but it is not my decision to make but the Allfather's."

"And he will kill him." Darcy repeated, begging now. "Please Thor, you know that as well as I. And you can blame that on his decision all you like but can you really deliver Loki to him, knowing what his fate will be? I know you. I know you don't believe Loki deserves this."

Her eyes were wide, pleading with him. She could see it was working, Thor looked guilty and troubled.

"What else can I do?" He asked though it generally sounded like he was asking, begging for another option.

"You can let him go." Darcy said. "He can stay here." Darcy stepped back and grabbed Loki's hand behind her, shielding him from Thor. "Odin will search like he did before but Loki has his magic back. He can stop himself being found."

Thor looked from her to Loki, resting his eyes on his brother for a long time.

He looked back at Darcy. "And you believe he will behave on Earth?"

Darcy would have laughed if she hadn't been so petrified of losing him. "Of course not but he at least deserves a chance, right?"

Thor considered. The seconds seemed to drag into hours.

Until at last he nodded.

Darcy almost laughed in relief.

"I must still return to Asgard to aid my father in restoring order." Thor walked over to Loki and Darcy moved aside as he roughly took his hands to pull the cuffs off.  
Shoving the circlets into a pocket, he regarded his brother. "Until your next act."

Loki nodded, trying not to smile. He stepped out of the circle and the bifrost suddenly appeared and took Thor.

Darcy glared at Loki, her heart hammering from the adrenaline.

"How are you mad with me now?" He asked though he sounded more amused than annoyed. "I chose you."

"You. Do. Not." She punctuated each word with a light punch. "Choose. Me. By. Almost. Letting. Me. Lose. You. Again."

He laughed and pulled her into a hug, stopping her punches by crushing her arms against him. She'd turned her residual fear into anger and now she was just relieved so she let him.

She had Loki. She had him until...there was no limit. No time constraint or expected events. Simply circumstance.

She'd never felt so free with him.

"You were honest about letting me stay with you?" He asked, pulling away slightly to regard her curiously.

She scowled. "Of course. You aren't getting rid of me." She considered. Living with Loki? Until, well, something changed? She could do that, certainly. She definitely had no problems with that. "You can get a job or something. You could be a model of glaring. Or be a consulting dictator." She joked.

Though in all honestly he could be useful. Before those ridiculous laws the world had never been better. And he had considerably sped up Jane's research.

This could really work.

She had her family, friends and Loki.

She couldn't remember ever being so happy nor having so much.

Loki laughed, arms still round her waist and smiling at her with so much happiness she could barely believe this was the same Loki she knew. "You are ridiculous."

She grinned, wondering when that statement had become endearing. "Yeah well I'm going to live as long as you are now. You get me being ridiculous for a very, very long time, Frost Brain."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title from The View From Here by We The Kings (and i you are sad about this ending DO NOT listen to this song like I did or you will be crying). 
> 
> I really don't know what to say about this ending. I know some people probably like tragic endings but a happy ending was kind of important to me personally after writing them for so long AND JESUS CHRIST HAVE I NOT PUT THEM THROUGH ENOUGH?? So yes, if you'd rather someone had died that's cool but please keep it to yourself because yeah, I needed them happy. (And if you like tragedy for Loki may I recommend these really cool things it's like fanfiction but moving pictures and sounds called films and they made some really sad ones about Loki called Thor and Thor: The Dark World which I recommend if you want to cry for him).
> 
> Also I was going to end it at the "he who wields this hammer commands" bit and do another chapter but after that last cliffhanger i couldn't. Don't say I never do anything nice for you. 
> 
> But yes, I'm really sad it's over and I couldn't have ever expected the amount of adoration this fic has received. I really, genuinely thank everyone who has read or reviewed or anything really because it has literally kept me writing and I love you all so much. 
> 
> In other news if you will be missing Loki and Darcy I have begun a new fic, The Beginning Of The End. The first chapter will be up next week. 
> 
> So yeah, there's no way this fic would be as long as it is or heck even finished without the support I have received for it. Huge thank you to Nicole Lee for beta reading. I'm going to go get very drunk now...


End file.
